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timewasters
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"there is someone on here tonight who is the ultimate timewaster and is back with a new name,,simply not right"
It might not be right but if there was naming and shaming then it would just be abused if folk fell out with each other! |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
It has been said before and will be again - If you are getting too many "timewasters" then your selection process may be at fault and the way you choose who to meet may need an overhaul.  |
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"It has been said before and will be again - If you are getting too many "timewasters" then your selection process may be at fault and the way you choose who to meet may need an overhaul. "
but what about if they made the contact ? does that not made them timewasters ? |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"It has been said before and will be again - If you are getting too many "timewasters" then your selection process may be at fault and the way you choose who to meet may need an overhaul.
but what about if they made the contact ? does that not made them timewasters ? "
Nah it could make them "they changed their mind" it happens too.  |
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By *j_markCouple
over a year ago
Forum Mod Totteridge/Whetstone |
Don't forget if someone arranges a meet and does not turn up you can REPORT them for this and admin will review
Name and shame is banned for good reasons, mostly because if someone named+shamed YOU, you'd hate it.
Admin x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't forget if someone arranges a meet and does not turn up you can REPORT them for this and admin will review
Name and shame is banned for good reasons, mostly because if someone named+shamed YOU, you'd hate it.
Admin x"
Well i never knew that xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't forget if someone arranges a meet and does not turn up you can REPORT them for this and admin will review
Name and shame is banned for good reasons, mostly because if someone named+shamed YOU, you'd hate it.
Admin x"
Can I ask - if I agree to meet someone and they dont turn up for whatever reason (and some people do have good genuine reasons for calling off) and I report them, how are admin supposed to get to the bottom of who is telling the truth??
I mean admin have enough to be getting on with without me and everyone else who has ever been stood up reporting.
In the chatrooms or in the forums there is the proof that someone has done something to be reported for but when you agree to go off site (msn or phone) then admin have no independent record of what happened, and then each party can go down the he said she said route, leaving admin having to work out who was in the right and who was in the wrong.
However I would agree abusive messages NEED to be reported.
Shona
x x x |
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By *j_markCouple
over a year ago
Forum Mod Totteridge/Whetstone |
"Don't forget if someone arranges a meet and does not turn up you can REPORT them for this and admin will review
Name and shame is banned for good reasons, mostly because if someone named+shamed YOU, you'd hate it.
Admin x
Can I ask - if I agree to meet someone and they dont turn up for whatever reason (and some people do have good genuine reasons for calling off) and I report them, how are admin supposed to get to the bottom of who is telling the truth??
I mean admin have enough to be getting on with without me and everyone else who has ever been stood up reporting.
In the chatrooms or in the forums there is the proof that someone has done something to be reported for but when you agree to go off site (msn or phone) then admin have no independent record of what happened, and then each party can go down the he said she said route, leaving admin having to work out who was in the right and who was in the wrong.
However I would agree abusive messages NEED to be reported.
Shona
x x x "
Admin doesn't just take one persons word against the other. We have to be fair to everyone.
We looks for patterns of behaviour in cases like this.
Admin x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the only way you will avoid this issue is by meeting people who have many verifications on there profiles. Even then it will not stop it completely ,but you know you have a better chance of the person showing up if there verifications state "meeting in person" than a profile that does not have any. I understand you would miss out on a lot of profiles due to this but you have to decide if they are worth taking a risk for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"simple question,,why is there nowwhere to name and shame ultimate timewasters and warn others in the future."
i wish there was. sadly timewasters are a fact of life.i find that there's a general pattern in their behaviour though.lots of messages,wanting lots of pics,wanting to IM,wanting lots of sms texts,wanting lots of telephone calls ... ad nauseam, and always some reason not to meet. my suggestion is to qualify thru the site by chatting thru the site to see if the interest is real, and then telephone call to discuss further and if all parties "click" to arrange a meet. if that doesn't happen, and prevarication occurs ... then the party is a timewaster, and its time to realise it. works for me ... my meets happen, and i've had some really good times from fab swingers  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"simple question,,why is there nowwhere to name and shame ultimate timewasters and warn others in the future."
actually, Admin's response is interesting, "patterns of behaviour". Perhaps a mechanism permitting reporting of a "Timewaster" profile, and once a number of complaints have been raised to Admin (say a threshold of 10), then Admin has justification to close the profile down. Just an idea |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
I find admin's comment likewise interesting:
One lady can't believe ilm not interested in playing with her, despite having hung out at hers platonically - she then made allegations I molested her while she slept one night (despite her claims of always sleeping naked and yet I slept fully clothed on her sofa downstairs) - she has since her accusation tried to "invite me back" (but am staying well clear) and now she's telling everyone that she rejected me and I can't handle rejection.
Purely from a he-said-she-said angle, who does admin believe? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We think that when admin say they look for a pattern they look at whether the person/persons involved had had previous reports for the same or similar behaviour. So if you believe that this person is a true timewaster ie had no intensions of meeting its worth reporting because if they have done the same to a few people and all had reported then thats a definate pattern for admin to see. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I find admin's comment likewise interesting:
One lady can't believe ilm not interested in playing with her, despite having hung out at hers platonically - she then made allegations I molested her while she slept one night (despite her claims of always sleeping naked and yet I slept fully clothed on her sofa downstairs) - she has since her accusation tried to "invite me back" (but am staying well clear) and now she's telling everyone that she rejected me and I can't handle rejection.
Purely from a he-said-she-said angle, who does admin believe? "
I am guessing that wouldn't be a reason to report someone Ahabs, as how the hell would anyone know what happened on the couch you slept in.
I am guessing Admin mean there would have to be evidence on the site as otherwise it would be one persons word against the other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't forget if someone arranges a meet and does not turn up you can REPORT them for this and admin will review
Name and shame is banned for good reasons, mostly because if someone named+shamed YOU, you'd hate it.
Admin x
Can I ask - if I agree to meet someone and they dont turn up for whatever reason (and some people do have good genuine reasons for calling off) and I report them, how are admin supposed to get to the bottom of who is telling the truth??
I mean admin have enough to be getting on with without me and everyone else who has ever been stood up reporting.
In the chatrooms or in the forums there is the proof that someone has done something to be reported for but when you agree to go off site (msn or phone) then admin have no independent record of what happened, and then each party can go down the he said she said route, leaving admin having to work out who was in the right and who was in the wrong.
However I would agree abusive messages NEED to be reported.
Shona
x x x
Admin doesn't just take one persons word against the other. We have to be fair to everyone.
We looks for patterns of behaviour in cases like this.
Admin x"
Isn't that also open to abuse in as much as any particular group of people could conspire to invent a pattern of behaviour against someone who'd incurred their ire? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't forget if someone arranges a meet and does not turn up you can REPORT them for this and admin will review
Name and shame is banned for good reasons, mostly because if someone named+shamed YOU, you'd hate it.
Admin x"
i dont think many people are aware of this. first i've heard and i did have a thread a couple of months back about 5 no shows.
its a pain in the ass! |
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By *andcCouple
over a year ago
London and Cheshire |
Doesn't really matter whether there is a name and shame or admin bans then simple point is they'll just join again anyway!
If you think someone is a timewaster, just block them and tell all your friends too! |
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By *anictechCouple
over a year ago
Glasgow - ish ;-) |
"Doesn't really matter whether there is a name and shame or admin bans then simple point is they'll just join again anyway!
If you think someone is a timewaster, just block them and tell all your friends too!"
We have found one timewaster in ten years, online life aside.(granted we didnt swing in all of those ten years) But actual meets? just one couple! We can live with that. Its part if this scene. Get over it and move on.
There are more real people willing to play than timewasters.
Good luck, MT XxX
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Every timewaster I have ever had the pleasure of not meeting (and there haven't been that many considering how long I've been doing this) have been verified for meeting in person by a string of people... and two had previously been verified by me. |
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By *anictechCouple
over a year ago
Glasgow - ish ;-) |
"Every timewaster I have ever had the pleasure of not meeting (and there haven't been that many considering how long I've been doing this) have been verified for meeting in person by a string of people... and two had previously been verified by me."
So that means?
XxX MT |
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"Every timewaster I have ever had the pleasure of not meeting (and there haven't been that many considering how long I've been doing this) have been verified for meeting in person by a string of people... and two had previously been verified by me.
So that means?
XxX MT"
It means just what it says.
I have been using internet swinging sites for 7-8 years or there abouts.
I haven't encountered many timewasters.
Those I have were all verified (or had feedback - depending on which site)
Two I had previously met and verified ... one refused to remove the verification and went on to piss several other people about in the same way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Best way to deal with it is speak to people in your own network, as it were. We speak to each other and minute a dodgy person comes up, just block em. For instance one woman had my friend drive 2 hours to a hotel that he had paid for then never bothered showing up - he never heard from her again! Another one sent a person I know to an old woman's house and seemingly found this hilarious. Some people are on as a general wind up -- you em out slowly. And verifications mean nothing, I got stood up by one guy after I'd gone all the way to Glasgow -- in saying that, I'm no daft, I had a back up plan lol so it wasn't a wasted trip or a waste of money!  |
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