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LOOKED AT ME - OPT OUTS

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By *icemarmot OP   Couple  over a year ago

filthsville

Okay - in no way a 'whine' or complaint about the site - more a wish for a discussion see what other gold / silver members think.

Currently the ability to see who has looked at you is available to gold / silver members. Personally we think this is an EXCELLENT feature - it enhances security (key on a free site) and also encourages contact.

However increasingly we see / hear in chat from profiles who have see our profile but do not appear on 'looked at me' - they have used the 'opt out' of feature.

We sorta think the opt-out is creepy. Why would you want to hide the number of times you are looking at a profile? What justification is there? Looking at profile 'X' is a fact, its not like you should be able to deny it later. At the very worse being show as having seen a profile may encourage the profiles own to mail you - thats hardly the worst thing in the world to deal with even if your not interested.

In short we'd be strongly in favour of 'removing' the 'opt-out' from the excellent 'looked at me' feature.

anyone?

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By *andcCouple  over a year ago

London and Cheshire

Yes we also agree that the opt-out is a bad idea.

Has silver site supporters one of our reasons for paying is the advanced features that you get, but by allowing an opt-out for other members can make that feature pointless and would be a reason that we stopped paying and returned to being free members!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I use the opt out feature

Purely because as a single female on here I wish to be able to browse in private and email only those I want to. If Im showing as having looked at a profile then pound to a penny that guy will be mailing me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ditto, Missy xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I use the opt out feature

Purely because as a single female on here I wish to be able to browse in private and email only those I want to. If Im showing as having looked at a profile then pound to a penny that guy will be mailing me"

I started using this feature after getting messages from people that I had looked at and wasn't interested in. then after being polite and telling them i wasn't interested was getting replies like well you must be if you looked at my profile.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If someone looks at your profile and likes what they see, then surely they will wink or message you?

You can make yourself seem desperate if you start chasing the browsers

However I can see both sides of the debate here

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By *andcCouple  over a year ago

London and Cheshire

OK so you want your privacy, what about the opt-out of the opt-out, so members like me who want to see who has looked at my profile and therefore decided to become a site supporter, I can stop people looking at my profile who have opted-out from leaving a footprint on peoples profiles. That way you can opt-out, but I can also stop you looking at my profile!

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By *icemarmot OP   Couple  over a year ago

filthsville

i dont think anyone would call us desperate by a long shot.

Take on board what the single females above have said but don't think it counterbalances the right to know who is looking at your profile constantly.

We recently 'unblocked' mail from single males as it was also removing them from the looked at feature.. result was showing 10-15 single males repeatedly looking at our profile. That empowered us to block them.

One could say that if the single females don't want mail from the guys they have looked at they can block them, or ignore the mail or have a c'n'p 'no thanks'.

tks for the feedback so far.

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By *andcCouple  over a year ago

London and Cheshire


"If someone looks at your profile and likes what they see, then surely they will wink or message you?

You can make yourself seem desperate if you start chasing the browsers

However I can see both sides of the debate here "

I don't see there is a debate!

If the owners of the site want people to be site supporters and giving them features which can be opted-out by free members then this defeats the point of being a site supporter.

I like the idea that the site is free to those that want a free site and providing more advanced features which people pay for, that way the site will get developed.

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By *abioMan  over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

i think this shows that not everyone uses the same features for the same reason...

The op wanted to use a feature to know who they have been looking at them...

others want the same feature, but use it for discresion and privacy......

please some people.. piss off others.....

I like the discresion of the opt out.... if someone says something in the forum and i want to find out some info, to get a look at the person behind the post, I'll look at the profile.........

just because I look at a profile, it doesn't mean i am wanting to get to know the person behind it any more than that..reference...

sometimes "paranoia" is not a good thing... so you can't control every tiny detail on a site, so what....

I do feel like saying at times concentrate on those things that you can make a difference to, as oppose to what others are doing around you......

in the end it is suppose to be fun....

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By *j_markCouple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Totteridge/Whetstone

For what it's worth:

Last time we ran the stats, less than 5% of people had opted out.

Admin x

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By *andcCouple  over a year ago

London and Cheshire


"

We recently 'unblocked' mail from single males as it was also removing them from the looked at feature.. result was showing 10-15 single males repeatedly looking at our profile. That empowered us to block them."

This is also a problem, when you block single males from contacting you it is obvious that you do not wish to meet single males, therefore surely it should also block them from viewing your profile?

We ONLY meet single guys we would love a group block for single females, couples and TV/TS, so that we could not either receive mail and they could not view our profile, surely that is just a privacy setting.

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By *andcCouple  over a year ago

London and Cheshire


"For what it's worth:

Last time we ran the stats, less than 5% of people had opted out.

Admin x

"

For us that 5% too many, Like we have said giving supporters features is a great idea, letting FREE members opt-out is a bad idea and could mean site supporters going back to the free option, if that was the reason they became site supporter!

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By *icemarmot OP   Couple  over a year ago

filthsville

Interesting stat and thanks for it - nice to see your reading and hope you know the spirit in which the thread is intended

but..

how active were the 5% compared to the other 95%?

We must be modest but we don' think that when we look at peoples profile they are expecting us to want to shag them / them to mail us. Guess if we were a bit more god gift we'd have to cover the fact we look at somebodies profile.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Theres an awful lot of folks that once you say hello to them they think they are in with a shout - believe me

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I use the opt out feature and think it's a good idea

One of those things, some like it, some don't

Nothing creepy about it though. How can someone looking at your profile be creepy if you don't know they've looked

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I use the opt out feature

Purely because as a single female on here I wish to be able to browse in private and email only those I want to. If Im showing as having looked at a profile then pound to a penny that guy will be mailing me

I started using this feature after getting messages from people that I had looked at and wasn't interested in. then after being polite and telling them i wasn't interested was getting replies like well you must be if you looked at my profile.

"

That is something I encountered daily as well and at the end of the day theres only so many ways you can say "get out of my mail box" politely

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By *andcCouple  over a year ago

London and Cheshire


"I use the opt out feature and think it's a good idea

One of those things, some like it, some don't

Nothing creepy about it though. How can someone looking at your profile be creepy if you don't know they've looked "

So you wouldn't think it creepy if someone watched you trying new clothes on in a shop as long as you didn't see them?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If someone looks at your profile and likes what they see, then surely they will wink or message you?

You can make yourself seem desperate if you start chasing the browsers

However I can see both sides of the debate here

I don't see there is a debate!

If the owners of the site want people to be site supporters and giving them features which can be opted-out by free members then this defeats the point of being a site supporter.

I like the idea that the site is free to those that want a free site and providing more advanced features which people pay for, that way the site will get developed."

But then not everyone who supports the site supports it to get extra features

I pay gold because I can afford to and it enables the site to remain free for those that cant pay. Too many sites of this ilk charge far too much for even being able to use basic features such as email. So I support what the owners are providing in the way I can

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By *andcCouple  over a year ago

London and Cheshire


"..

sometimes "paranoia" is not a good thing... so you can't control every tiny detail on a site, so what....

"

What you say is true, but what I'm getting at is the fact it's a feature offered to people who are site supporters and the fact people can opt-out defeats the point of paying for that feature!

We are site supporters, we don't pay for any particular feature, we just feel that by paying a contribution to the site owners that they will continue to develop the site for both paying and free members, but others may be site supporters because they like the advance features, more pics, more cams etc.. and by allowing opt-outs may have a detremental effect on site supporter numbers and ultimately the future development of the site.

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By *andcCouple  over a year ago

London and Cheshire


"If someone looks at your profile and likes what they see, then surely they will wink or message you?

You can make yourself seem desperate if you start chasing the browsers

However I can see both sides of the debate here

I don't see there is a debate!

If the owners of the site want people to be site supporters and giving them features which can be opted-out by free members then this defeats the point of being a site supporter.

I like the idea that the site is free to those that want a free site and providing more advanced features which people pay for, that way the site will get developed.

But then not everyone who supports the site supports it to get extra features

I pay gold because I can afford to and it enables the site to remain free for those that cant pay. Too many sites of this ilk charge far too much for even being able to use basic features such as email. So I support what the owners are providing in the way I can"

We think the same but others may not, perhaps even the owners! Otherwise why not give ALL members all the features and just ask people to be site supporters if they can afford, but as a website developer myself I know that doesn't work, most people on the Internet don't want to pay for web content, don't forget when 'Friends Reunited' was free it was a massive site, once they asked for people to pay (even though it was only a small amount)it died a death. Granada TV sold it for 25million but had bought it for 175million.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Theres another handy tool admin have given us - other then block - HIDE PROFILE

And if hiding the profile is too harsh - take off the pictures that get the guys back viewing time and time again

I appreciate we all have the right to post what ever pictures we wish, but two girls getting it on is near on every guys fantasy so sure you are going to have them coming back time time again to exercise their wrists

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Theres another handy tool admin have given us - other then block - HIDE PROFILE

And if hiding the profile is too harsh - take off the pictures that get the guys back viewing time and time again

I appreciate we all have the right to post what ever pictures we wish, but two girls getting it on is near on every guys fantasy so sure you are going to have them coming back time time again to exercise their wrists

"

agree with this if you don't want peeps to be exercising their wrists put all your photo's in private gallery then you can choose who wanks over them

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By *icemarmot OP   Couple  over a year ago

filthsville

did we get that right - you won't block people who are constantly mailing your but you suggest we hide our profile (from the whole site) simply because we'd like to know who is looking at us? Seems sorta wonky logic to us.. you'd rather hide than block because there are so many persistent people mailing, whereas you tell us that stalkers aren't an issue so forget about it.

Seems that same logic that says 'we hide because we don't want persistent followers' is the same as us saying we'd rather know who these persistent people are but can't because they are allowed to hide.

the 'we pay for it' argument is a strong one but we think the basic personal safety (know who is looking at you) is MUCH stronger.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"the 'we pay for it' argument is a strong one but we think the basic personal safety (know who is looking at you) is MUCH stronger. "

I didn't relise that persistant followers could affect our personal safety, I thought they'd get sore cocks wanking that often

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By *icemarmot OP   Couple  over a year ago

filthsville

well in 4 years of swinging we've seen 2 couples make the front page of the Sunday Life, complete with their pics and know of attempts to pressure single males into revealing more about couples.

Personally we can't put a high enough price on security but having read the Independent on Sunday we know its much more anything goes down south thesedays

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I use the opt out feature and think it's a good idea

One of those things, some like it, some don't

Nothing creepy about it though. How can someone looking at your profile be creepy if you don't know they've looked

So you wouldn't think it creepy if someone watched you trying new clothes on in a shop as long as you didn't see them?"

I really don't see how you can compare someone looking at your profile on a swingers site to someone perving on you in a shop changing room.

For a kick off, the changing room perving scenario is allegal - looking at a profile on a website anonymously isn't ......

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

if you put such a high price on security why display so many pictures - I disagree with the "we know its much more anything goes down south these days" you get different breeds of swingers every where some hold security high others do not - we hold our security high which is why we don't have many pic's on public display and if we ever felt we were at risk we would leave the site - we love swinging but other things are more important.

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By *ilandlarryCouple  over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

I don't see what the fuss is tbh. The function is there to be used, or not if thats the case. If I wanted you to know I had looked at your profile and was interested then I would mail you

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By *icemarmot OP   Couple  over a year ago

filthsville


"if you put such a high price on security why display so many pictures."

sorry I thought the thread was about the opt-out feature not an invitation to pass comment on our profile. We'd certainly never pass comment on yours.

Frankly we've not actually heard a good reason to keep opt-out. But people who want to sneak around will defend it and people who would rather know who exactly is looking at their profile will be denied that empowering knowledge.

As for the 'i hide because i don't want mail.... NO. You can block, ignore, reply or report mail. You hide because you prefer people not to know.

Would you still hide if selecting 'opt-out' also stopped your ability to see who is looking at you? We doubt it. Speaks volumes.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

sorry I misread the title of the thread I thought it said LOOK AT ME

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By *icemarmot OP   Couple  over a year ago

filthsville

well as it didn't that's okay; your 'bad' but no big deal.

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By *ilandlarryCouple  over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!


"if you put such a high price on security why display so many pictures.

sorry I thought the thread was about the opt-out feature not an invitation to pass comment on our profile. We'd certainly never pass comment on yours.

Frankly we've not actually heard a good reason to keep opt-out. But people who want to sneak around will defend it and people who would rather know who exactly is looking at their profile will be denied that empowering knowledge.

As for the 'i hide because i don't want mail.... NO. You can block, ignore, reply or report mail. You hide because you prefer people not to know.

Would you still hide if selecting 'opt-out' also stopped your ability to see who is looking at you? We doubt it. Speaks volumes. "

We don't use the "who looked at me" part of the site therefore see no need for us to be shown on other peoples lists.

Personally we think that the who looked part can cause hassle for people so would rather not be involved in it at all.

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By *andcCouple  over a year ago

London and Cheshire


"I use the opt out feature and think it's a good idea

One of those things, some like it, some don't

Nothing creepy about it though. How can someone looking at your profile be creepy if you don't know they've looked

So you wouldn't think it creepy if someone watched you trying new clothes on in a shop as long as you didn't see them?

I really don't see how you can compare someone looking at your profile on a swingers site to someone perving on you in a shop changing room.

For a kick off, the changing room perving scenario is allegal - looking at a profile on a website anonymously isn't ...... "

Yes it is illegal but thats not the point, you said how can it be creepy if you don't know someone has looked at your profile loads of times, same goes for the changing room scenerio, not illegal if yer don't get caught!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Personally I've no problem with 'looked at me' or vice versa.

I really do think you want to re-design the site to facilitate your own individual preferences?

If it's not 'No Single Males' it's 'Forum posts'.

That's my 'whine' over!

Paddy xx


"Okay - in no way a 'whine' or complaint about the site - more a wish for a discussion see what other gold / silver members think.

Currently the ability to see who has looked at you is available to gold / silver members. Personally we think this is an EXCELLENT feature - it enhances security (key on a free site) and also encourages contact.

However increasingly we see / hear in chat from profiles who have see our profile but do not appear on 'looked at me' - they have used the 'opt out' of feature.

We sorta think the opt-out is creepy. Why would you want to hide the number of times you are looking at a profile? What justification is there? Looking at profile 'X' is a fact, its not like you should be able to deny it later. At the very worse being show as having seen a profile may encourage the profiles own to mail you - thats hardly the worst thing in the world to deal with even if your not interested.

In short we'd be strongly in favour of 'removing' the 'opt-out' from the excellent 'looked at me' feature.

anyone?"

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By *andcCouple  over a year ago

London and Cheshire


"I use the opt out feature and think it's a good idea

One of those things, some like it, some don't

Nothing creepy about it though. How can someone looking at your profile be creepy if you don't know they've looked

So you wouldn't think it creepy if someone watched you trying new clothes on in a shop as long as you didn't see them?

I really don't see how you can compare someone looking at your profile on a swingers site to someone perving on you in a shop changing room.

For a kick off, the changing room perving scenario is allegal - looking at a profile on a website anonymously isn't ...... "

Oh and by the way there's no way to anonymously to look at a website, all servers keep logs of whats going on, it's also very easy to see what someone is doing on the internet if you know what your doing!

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By *harpDressed ManMan  over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

There has, in my opinion, been a genuine justification for the opt out - single fem's who would be inundated with "did you like what you saw?" Messages.

However, and I hope this is taken in the spirit of the thread, the OP has overruled it because it doesn't fit their agenda.

This is the second thread I've seen recently that seems to be based on the premise that categories of member should be able to block other categories of member from even viewing their profile. Further, this appears to be driven by a security/privacy concern.

So, with apologies if I've taken 2 + 2 an made 5 in getting to that...some points...

1. Admin say in the FAQ that nothing on the internet can be considered private, and therefore we should only post what we're comfortable with.

2. Where's the proof that single men are more likely to steal the pics off your profile to sell them to your local paper?

3. What's to stop the papers setting up a couple profile and using that to steal your details?

4. Other than this fear of being splashed across the papers as a perverted pair, what other issues do you have with people looking at your profile?

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By *andcCouple  over a year ago

London and Cheshire

It would seem that the consensus is that the who's looked at me feature for site supporters is pointless?

Either people opt-out so you are not getting a real prospective of who been looking at you.

Finally I would also agree with many that just because someone has looked at you doesn't mean they want to meet with you, as they would contact you if they did via the messaging system.

mmmmm don't use cams, a few pics would be enough.. etc. etc....why be a site supporter?

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By *harpDressed ManMan  over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I don't think it's pointless, and have found and met some lovely people that way.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I use the opt out feature

Purely because as a single female on here I wish to be able to browse in private and email only those I want to. If Im showing as having looked at a profile then pound to a penny that guy will be mailing me"

snap

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By *b430Man  over a year ago

Tayside


"I use the opt out feature and think it's a good idea

One of those things, some like it, some don't

Nothing creepy about it though. How can someone looking at your profile be creepy if you don't know they've looked

So you wouldn't think it creepy if someone watched you trying new clothes on in a shop as long as you didn't see them?

I really don't see how you can compare someone looking at your profile on a swingers site to someone perving on you in a shop changing room.

For a kick off, the changing room perving scenario is allegal - looking at a profile on a website anonymously isn't ......

Yes it is illegal but thats not the point, you said how can it be creepy if you don't know someone has looked at your profile loads of times, same goes for the changing room scenerio, not illegal if yer don't get caught!"

It is still illegal to spy on people in a changing room whether you do get caught or not!

But to look at a profile (on here or any site like this) that someone has put on themselves for people to look at is not illegal (as long as the content is legal - before anyone comes back with that one).

The changing room scenario and looking at a profile on here are 2 completely different situations!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I use the opt out feature and think it's a good idea

One of those things, some like it, some don't

Nothing creepy about it though. How can someone looking at your profile be creepy if you don't know they've looked

So you wouldn't think it creepy if someone watched you trying new clothes on in a shop as long as you didn't see them?

I really don't see how you can compare someone looking at your profile on a swingers site to someone perving on you in a shop changing room.

For a kick off, the changing room perving scenario is allegal - looking at a profile on a website anonymously isn't ......

Yes it is illegal but thats not the point, you said how can it be creepy if you don't know someone has looked at your profile loads of times, same goes for the changing room scenerio, not illegal if yer don't get caught!"

Sorry, but your analogy simply does not work !

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By *andcCouple  over a year ago

London and Cheshire


"There has, in my opinion, been a genuine justification for the opt out - single fem's who would be inundated with "did you like what you saw?" Messages.

However, and I hope this is taken in the spirit of the thread, the OP has overruled it because it doesn't fit their agenda.

This is the second thread I've seen recently that seems to be based on the premise that categories of member should be able to block other categories of member from even viewing their profile. Further, this appears to be driven by a security/privacy concern.

So, with apologies if I've taken 2 + 2 an made 5 in getting to that...some points...

1. Admin say in the FAQ that nothing on the internet can be considered private, and therefore we should only post what we're comfortable with.

2. Where's the proof that single men are more likely to steal the pics off your profile to sell them to your local paper?

3. What's to stop the papers setting up a couple profile and using that to steal your details?

4. Other than this fear of being splashed across the papers as a perverted pair, what other issues do you have with people looking at your profile?

"

Anyone can copy your pics has you say, but to use them in say a news paper would be illegal has you would still have copyright over them, so to use them sell them etc without your expressed permission would be against the law.

Also privacy is a big issue on websites and the owners of website have a duty of care to there members, that's why large sites have pages and pages of both terms and conditions and privacy of it's members. This is one area that amateur website owners often overlook and if you allow Americans to use or become members then it gets even worse.

There are many lawyers that cover this area of the Internet and it is becoming big business.

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By *andcCouple  over a year ago

London and Cheshire


"I use the opt out feature and think it's a good idea

One of those things, some like it, some don't

Nothing creepy about it though. How can someone looking at your profile be creepy if you don't know they've looked

So you wouldn't think it creepy if someone watched you trying new clothes on in a shop as long as you didn't see them?

I really don't see how you can compare someone looking at your profile on a swingers site to someone perving on you in a shop changing room.

For a kick off, the changing room perving scenario is allegal - looking at a profile on a website anonymously isn't ......

Yes it is illegal but thats not the point, you said how can it be creepy if you don't know someone has looked at your profile loads of times, same goes for the changing room scenerio, not illegal if yer don't get caught!

It is still illegal to spy on people in a changing room whether you do get caught or not!

But to look at a profile (on here or any site like this) that someone has put on themselves for people to look at is not illegal (as long as the content is legal - before anyone comes back with that one).

The changing room scenario and looking at a profile on here are 2 completely different situations! "

Sorry your missing the point, what was said was it's not creepy because you cannot see that they're looking, but the OP said it was creepy that someone would want to hide the fact that they looked at your profile.

If its such a good idea why do the other swinging sites that allow you to see who's look at your profile not have an opt-out?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I know of at least one site (the only other one that we were ever members of) which had the same facility.

Bottom line of it - if someone thinks it's creepy having another member looking at their profile without their knowledge, maybe they need to take their profile off the internet and take up going to the WRVS Luncheon club instead.

I've never heard such nonsense - creepy indeed

It just seems like some folks need to complain for the sake of complaining. Maybe they should build their own site and taylor it exactly to their own needs ...

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By *b430Man  over a year ago

Tayside


"I use the opt out feature and think it's a good idea

One of those things, some like it, some don't

Nothing creepy about it though. How can someone looking at your profile be creepy if you don't know they've looked

So you wouldn't think it creepy if someone watched you trying new clothes on in a shop as long as you didn't see them?

I really don't see how you can compare someone looking at your profile on a swingers site to someone perving on you in a shop changing room.

For a kick off, the changing room perving scenario is allegal - looking at a profile on a website anonymously isn't ......

Yes it is illegal but thats not the point, you said how can it be creepy if you don't know someone has looked at your profile loads of times, same goes for the changing room scenerio, not illegal if yer don't get caught!

It is still illegal to spy on people in a changing room whether you do get caught or not!

But to look at a profile (on here or any site like this) that someone has put on themselves for people to look at is not illegal (as long as the content is legal - before anyone comes back with that one).

The changing room scenario and looking at a profile on here are 2 completely different situations!

Sorry your missing the point, what was said was it's not creepy because you cannot see that they're looking, but the OP said it was creepy that someone would want to hide the fact that they looked at your profile.

If its such a good idea why do the other swinging sites that allow you to see who's look at your profile not have an opt-out?"

I didn't miss the point of you saying it was illegal only if you get caught spying on changing rooms and you were comparing that with looking at profiles on here.

Whether or not people think it is creepy or not is a personal thing and I wouldn't question anyones view on that.

I was commenting on the legality of viewing a "public profile on fab" against being a peeping tom!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Here here, well said, Redhot.

Paddy xx

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By *icemarmot OP   Couple  over a year ago

filthsville

for the hard of thinking can we clarify that we said HIDING the fact u were looking at peoples profiles constantly was creepy - not that looking at them per se was.

we'll also refrain from responding to the personal insults directed at us above - thats simply not our level. As usee so rightly said in the irish forums - people should keep contributions nice.

still to hear a good explaination why a legitimate response to 'too much mail' is hiding peoples ability to stalk u rather than ignoring, blocking replying or reporting.

anyway we've explained what our concerns are and maybe its given the lovely admins of fabs an alternative perspective on the topic; not much more to add so will skip out at this point.

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By *ilandlarryCouple  over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!


"for the hard of thinking can we clarify that we said HIDING the fact u were looking at peoples profiles constantly was creepy - not that looking at them per se was.

we'll also refrain from responding to the personal insults directed at us above - thats simply not our level. As usee so rightly said in the irish forums - people should keep contributions nice.

still to hear a good explaination why a legitimate response to 'too much mail' is hiding peoples ability to stalk u rather than ignoring, blocking replying or reporting.

anyway we've explained what our concerns are and maybe its given the lovely admins of fabs an alternative perspective on the topic; not much more to add so will skip out at this point. "

So just because you don't see the point of it means that it should be abolished??? Also, the fact that you don't think the reasons given are valid doesn't mean that they aren't.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

'For the hard of thinking' - what a bloody insult!

Now my 'whine' for the shallowed minded, please respect others opinions!

Life gives us diversity, we're not all trapped in a 'my world'

I too can 'skip off' when the direction of a thread doesn't go to my way of thinking!

Oh, I hear 'RIVERDANCE' I'm jigging off to the Ireland Forum.

Paddy xx

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By *icemarmot OP   Couple  over a year ago

filthsville

um....you are aware this section of the forum is called 'feedback and suggestions' ?

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By *ilandlarryCouple  over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

the only suggestion i'm seeing is that because you don't "get" why people decide to opt out of letting people see who they have looked at that it should be scrapped

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

we understand what is being said, site supporters are paying for a feature that non supporters can take away from opting out. But the who has looked at you function is not the only feature offered as site supporter, its just one of many.

Ay the end of the day this is one of the best swinging sites on the net and the owners decision to offer that privacy option to all members, supporters or not!

As site supporters we like to often check the who has looked at us page although we see this as people having a perv as we do sometimes, if someone views more than once they are having a good perv lol, but we also opt out of this as its our choice to do so.

We also value our privacy and respect that Fab does its best to support that, but we also understand the risks involved with having a profile and pics on the net, again our choice. WE believe in the right to choose, and if there was an issue over privacy to the extent we were constantaly worried about who was looking at us we would simple remove our profile.

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By *l coupleCouple  over a year ago

Glasgow

No system is ever going to be 100% foolproof, and the differing arguments show why this system is no different.

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By *abioMan  over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"um....you are aware this section of the forum is called 'feedback and suggestions' ?"

it is.... and I think it is a healthy debate, just because not everyone decided to agree with your point of view, it doesn't mean you have to get both agressive in tone and defensive in manner....

some people have said they don't use the feature, but because that feature infringes on you, then you want it taken away from everyone....

I think that is harsh.....

Do I look at the feature.... once in a while just out of curiousity,

Have I made some new friends and contacts out of it... sure.....

if security is the issue, then there are better ways of protecting yourself, pictures in private galleries, hiding profiles ect ect ect.....

and like I said in another thread we are always on sites like this comprising our privacy... it just depends on what balance of that you want to give up to the pursuit and desire to get meets.

on forums,

in chatrooms,

in profiles.....

I bet that because of this thread even more people have looked at your profile because of this thread, because of the ways that questions are answered, or the way you reply to others...

drawing attention to yourself... not the best for security... but again you balanced that in the sake of replying and contributing to threads

I hope that this thread doesn't slide into chaos.... its been a good thread

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

I am lost

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"did we get that right - you won't block people who are constantly mailing your but you suggest we hide our profile (from the whole site) simply because we'd like to know who is looking at us? Seems sorta wonky logic to us.. you'd rather hide than block because there are so many persistent people mailing, whereas you tell us that stalkers aren't an issue so forget about it.

Seems that same logic that says 'we hide because we don't want persistent followers' is the same as us saying we'd rather know who these persistent people are but can't because they are allowed to hide.

the 'we pay for it' argument is a strong one but we think the basic personal safety (know who is looking at you) is MUCH stronger. "

Im not saying that at all

But do you not think for one moment what it is the guys keep coming back to your profile for? When you state so clearly and so often you are not interested in single males? Does it not occur to you its your photos?After all why would a single guy be coming back time and time again. After all we have to assume he can at least read - he did after all manage to join a site

If you are so concerned about personal safety - take down your pictures and dont give any information at all about yourselves on this site or any other.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I use the opt out feature and think it's a good idea

One of those things, some like it, some don't

Nothing creepy about it though. How can someone looking at your profile be creepy if you don't know they've looked

So you wouldn't think it creepy if someone watched you trying new clothes on in a shop as long as you didn't see them?

I really don't see how you can compare someone looking at your profile on a swingers site to someone perving on you in a shop changing room.

For a kick off, the changing room perving scenario is allegal - looking at a profile on a website anonymously isn't ......

Oh and by the way there's no way to anonymously to look at a website, all servers keep logs of whats going on, it's also very easy to see what someone is doing on the internet if you know what your doing!"

Precisely - so why all the worry about an opt out button and people using it?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I use the opt out feature and think it's a good idea

One of those things, some like it, some don't

Nothing creepy about it though. How can someone looking at your profile be creepy if you don't know they've looked

So you wouldn't think it creepy if someone watched you trying new clothes on in a shop as long as you didn't see them?

I really don't see how you can compare someone looking at your profile on a swingers site to someone perving on you in a shop changing room.

For a kick off, the changing room perving scenario is allegal - looking at a profile on a website anonymously isn't ......

Yes it is illegal but thats not the point, you said how can it be creepy if you don't know someone has looked at your profile loads of times, same goes for the changing room scenerio, not illegal if yer don't get caught!

It is still illegal to spy on people in a changing room whether you do get caught or not!

But to look at a profile (on here or any site like this) that someone has put on themselves for people to look at is not illegal (as long as the content is legal - before anyone comes back with that one).

The changing room scenario and looking at a profile on here are 2 completely different situations!

Sorry your missing the point, what was said was it's not creepy because you cannot see that they're looking, but the OP said it was creepy that someone would want to hide the fact that they looked at your profile.

If its such a good idea why do the other swinging sites that allow you to see who's look at your profile not have an opt-out?"

I actually use a site where you can opt out - one of the largest online - and American to boot.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"sorry I thought the thread was about the opt-out feature not an invitation to pass comment on our profile. We'd certainly never pass comment on yours."

Sorry just notice this now and realised that you wouldn't be able to comment on my profile as according to my "looked at me" page you have never looked at my profile unless of course you have but have chosen to "opt out" so I don't know you have looked

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Okay - in no way a 'whine' or complaint about the site - more a wish for a discussion see what other gold / silver members think.

Currently the ability to see who has looked at you is available to gold / silver members. Personally we think this is an EXCELLENT feature - it enhances security (key on a free site) and also encourages contact.

However increasingly we see / hear in chat from profiles who have see our profile but do not appear on 'looked at me' - they have used the 'opt out' of feature.

We sorta think the opt-out is creepy. Why would you want to hide the number of times you are looking at a profile? What justification is there? Looking at profile 'X' is a fact, its not like you should be able to deny it later. At the very worse being show as having seen a profile may encourage the profiles own to mail you - thats hardly the worst thing in the world to deal with even if your not interested.

In short we'd be strongly in favour of 'removing' the 'opt-out' from the excellent 'looked at me' feature.

anyone?"

Get a life and stop trying to antogonise people with your banal posts!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Think the op that started this thread has 'skipped off' bitten off more than can chew!

Paddy, people in glass houses....... Eh!

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By *ugby 123Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Ok I think this has run it's course, if Admin want to make changes I am sure they will announce it.

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