FabSwingers.com > Forums > Fabswingers.com site feedback > Sent Messages

Sent Messages

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Can you please get rid of the sent messages function. Allowing people, and particularly the section of people who obsess about whether their messages are read and/or deleted just seems to cause a lot of stress and bad feeling. It doesn't really serve a purpose, in the real world you've no idea if your text or email has been read so why here?

You'll probably have a few less reports of abusive messages to deal with in the long run too.

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman over a year ago

kinky land

I couldn't agree more

One of the worst features on this site!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Quite like it..

We can see who has deleted a message without response, so we know not to message them again as they clearly aren't interested.

Don't obsess over others insecurities.. hit the block.

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By *histler21Man over a year ago

Ipswich

"Can you please get rid of the sent messages function. Allowing people, and particularly the section of people who obsess about whether their messages are read and/or deleted just seems to cause a lot of stress and bad feeling. It doesn't really serve a purpose, in the real world you've no idea if your text or email has been read so why here?

You'll probably have a few less reports of abusive messages to deal with in the long run too. "

Have you never heard of read receipt?

Personally, I like to know if someone has read or deleted my message (and not replied). If they have deleted it - they are not interested. Tells me all I want to know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Quite like it..

We can see who has deleted a message without response, so we know not to message them again as they clearly aren't interested.

Don't obsess over others insecurities.. hit the block."

Couldn't give a shite about others insecurities. Have just seen an inordinate amount of posts on the forums from people who do obsess about this, and who do get angry when messages are deleted, purely because they KNOW about it.

You know when you've messaged someone without a response because it tells you when you try to message them again.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Or maybe set it so you can't message somebody more than once until they reply?

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By *ohn.northMan over a year ago

Cumbria

Unread messages that you can read are the most frustrating thing ever make people open messages before they can read them

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Have you never heard of read receipt?

Personally, I like to know if someone has read or deleted my message (and not replied). If they have deleted it - they are not interested. Tells me all I want to know."

Yes I've heard of read receipt, but this is an option you can select to turn off. And people don't obsess over whether a regular email has been read quite so much.

Why do you need to know if your message has been deleted to give you a hint of if they're interested? Surely if they are interested they'll reply to you in their own time?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are many reasons people don't reply straight away, it doesn't mean they are not interested. So a no reply is not necessarily a sign of not interested.

A deleted message straight away means they are. Sadly people don't say thanks but no thanks anymore - a deleted message is a easy option out and it's taken as thanks but no thanks by many (as highlighted already by a few posts in this thread).

As such the sent mail feature is still useful to many.

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By *he Happy ManMan over a year ago

Merseyside

You'll probably have a few less reports of abusive messages to deal with in the long run too. "

Get rid of sent messages being read deleted etc = something along the lines of "Hi I sent you a message. I am not sure if you got my first message so I thought I would bug/message you again"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've got three unread messages in my sent box. It doesn't bother me as two of them haven't been online for couple of months. other one is a friend whose no I have. I'd get bothers if the two were read and not replied too as I'd like to meet them again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Quite like it..

We can see who has deleted a message without response, so we know not to message them again as they clearly aren't interested.

Don't obsess over others insecurities.. hit the block.

You know when you've messaged someone without a response because it tells you when you try to message them again. "

The message you get just tells you that you've messaged previously without response it doesn't tell you if the message has been read or not.

We like this feature because if our message is read and deleted we know the other party isn't interested therefore we move on but if it hasn't been read it could mean they're away on holiday. , particularly busy or one of many reasons .

Why get rid of a feature many people like just because you don't happen to like it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

O p you seem obessed about people being obsessed about it. If i send message and not been read after couple of days i make use of private note thing as reminder so i dont message again.

Cannot see a problem with it as it is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Quite like it..

We can see who has deleted a message without response, so we know not to message them again as they clearly aren't interested.

Don't obsess over others insecurities.. hit the block.

You know when you've messaged someone without a response because it tells you when you try to message them again.

The message you get just tells you that you've messaged previously without response it doesn't tell you if the message has been read or not.

Why get rid of a feature many people like just because you don't happen to like it "

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Or maybe set it so you can't message somebody more than once until they reply?"

I'd love this. Repeat messages from people I have no interest in just gets annoying.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Well quite simply, this part of the forum is for suggesting improvements to the site. I don't like the sent messages part of it, so I'm suggesting a change which I am allowed to do.

I think it's pointless and causes more bad feeling than it's worth. Some people get annoyed and abusive when they see their messages unread/read and deleted without response. It inflates the sense of entitlement displayed by people like the gentleman above where he feels people are being impolite by not replying to unsolicited mail.

Neither of the previous few posts have given a reason for keeping it that I haven't addressed. If you message someone who has not replied to your initial message, you get a report saying so in big red letters. So you can infer from that they are not interested and deleted your message, or perhaps on holiday/indisposed and will reply shortly. Likewise on the top of their profile it says whether you've mailed them before and if they mailed you also. So if it doesnt say that, you were deleted. Add your notes accordingly.

If you've met them before and now they are not replying then again they've either not read it due to holidays/indisposed or they've changed their minds.

Why the NEED for acknowledgement? As I pointed out, do you worry so much if a txt isn't replied to? Do you request read receipts with all your email?

Get rid of it, cut down on some of the abusive messages admin have to deal with off the back of it, and people will be happier.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Or maybe set it so you can't message somebody more than once until they reply?

I'd love this. Repeat messages from people I have no interest in just gets annoying."

agreed! They also get a warning message to tell them that they have messaged once without a reply, but maybe keep the warning without the option to actually send another message?

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By *rinking-in-laCouple over a year ago

Bristol

"Well quite simply, this part of the forum is for suggesting improvements to the site. I don't like the sent messages part of it, so I'm suggesting a change which I am allowed to do.

If you've met them before and now they are not replying then again they've either not read it due to holidays/indisposed or they've changed their minds.

Why the NEED for acknowledgement? As I pointed out, do you worry so much if a txt isn't replied to? Do you request read receipts with all your email?

Get rid of it, cut down on some of the abusive messages admin have to deal with off the back of it, and people will be happier. "

I have to disagree. If you get more than one message from someone you are not interested in then block them?

Why deny the site users who find the sent messages feature useful the facility when you have the facility to stop repeated messages too?

Telling people who find it useful that they are wrong is not really the basis of a useful discussion.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I have to disagree. If you get more than one message from someone you are not interested in then block them?

Why deny the site users who find the sent messages feature useful the facility when you have the facility to stop repeated messages too?

Telling people who find it useful that they are wrong is not really the basis of a useful discussion."

No one is discussing anything. And people seem to like telling me I'm wrong too. You're telling me to leave it alone just because I don't find it useful. I've given counter arguments to their examples that show how other site functions and common sense fulfil the same needs.

I also think that denying people the chance to send another mail if the first hasn't been replied to would be a good idea.

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

i think this has come up because people always find something to moan about...

if you dont reply... moan

if people know you have read it and didn't reply... moan

if they know you have been online and haven't opened it... moan

if they deleted it... moan....

its fair that people know they have sent something, but do you need to know what they have done with it.....

as a silver member... I always keep the last post of a conversation and open up the one before to read... because it doesn't give people clues as to what I may or may not do

there is "need to know"... and there is "need to know!!!!!!"....

do people really "need to know"?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

As you say, theres no need for people to know what's been done with a sent message. And you know if you've mailed a profile before because it says "you mailed them xx days/months ago" at the top of the profile and whether you received a response.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"As you say, theres no need for people to know what's been done with a sent message. And you know if you've mailed a profile before because it says "you mailed them xx days/months ago" at the top of the profile and whether you received a response. "

I think that is only available to Site supporters though

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I think that is only available to Site supporters though

Even so, if you try and mail someone who never responded to you, you still get told.

I find it hard to believe that a non site supporter keeps the sent messages folder intact and every time they see a profile they like, scan through the folder to see if they've been in touch before. No, they just message again regardless.

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman over a year ago

kinky land

The sent box like the inbox only holds so many messages so it is not even possible to scroll through the sent messages without deleting those shown on the page

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Quite like it..

We can see who has deleted a message without response, so we know not to message them again as they clearly aren't interested.

Don't obsess over others insecurities.. hit the block."

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Quite like it..

We can see who has deleted a message without response, so we know not to message them again as they clearly aren't interested.

Don't obsess over others insecurities.. hit the block.

But as has been pointed out, that doesn't work when your sent box gets full, and as ive said many times that function is fulfilled by other site features.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Quite like it..

We can see who has deleted a message without response, so we know not to message them again as they clearly aren't interested.

Don't obsess over others insecurities.. hit the block."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To know someone received a message is one thing. To know what they did with it is another and this creates unnecessary tension.

Sent-received. That's all you need.

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By *rinking-in-laCouple over a year ago

Bristol

When you post on a forum stating a point of view people are going to say whether they agree or not. That's what happens. Disagreeing is the same as saying they think you are wrong. It is not personal. It is a public forum. We get told we are wrong by people in posts. It is part of social intercourse. Don't appear defensive as it makes these threads unpleasant.

I agree that stopping people from repeatedly messaging you before a response is a good idea. However denying people a valuable part of the site that they find useful is a shame.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For our two pennies,

Stop people being able to send a second message when the first was NOT responded too; although this could increase the amount of women not sending a polite no thanks, as that would allow them to repeat message.

And scrap the sent box.

Use the extra allowance on more messages visible in the inbox, or keep whole threads in the saved folder (for site supporters)

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"When you post on a forum stating a point of view people are going to say whether they agree or not. That's what happens. Disagreeing is the same as saying they think you are wrong. It is not personal. It is a public forum. We get told we are wrong by people in posts. It is part of social intercourse. Don't appear defensive as it makes these threads unpleasant.

I agree that stopping people from repeatedly messaging you before a response is a good idea. However denying people a valuable part of the site that they find useful is a shame."

If we could get rid of sanctimoniousness that'd be good too, but people seem to like that also so lets keep it.

Keep the fucking folder, you deal with the whining cunts giving it "blah blah blah no one replies to messages anymore how rude this site is going downhill blah blah blah" and the abuse when they get shitty about it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree that stopping people from repeatedly messaging you before a response is a good idea. However denying people a valuable part of the site that they find useful is a shame.

If we could get rid of sanctimoniousness that'd be good too, but people seem to like that also so lets keep it.

Isn't it choice, you choose to read forum posts about people moaning, no one makes you. People use each function how they see best, be it right or wrong, and as another poster said, hit block, that stops messages being sent.

Personally I'm finding your responses rude and arrogant, there's no need to swear because other people don't agree.

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