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Agreed Meet
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Is there a possibility of implementing an agreed meet facility.
For example, messages between different profiles, then a meet is arranged. One profile sends an 'Agreed Meet' appointment to the other, which can be accepted or declined. If they decline it, the first profile is notified, so they know the other profile is fake/dreamer/pic collector. If the invite is accepted, it is recorded on both profiles similar to how 'meet today' is. Should either party not turn up, the other profile can report them. This too is shown on their profile.
This might cut down on the no-shows which many have complained about |
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"So, if someone flakes and doesn't show up but hits that button first, the person who did intend to show up is flagged as a dreamer?"
There is a way around that. The site can record your location. It may display your location to within quarter mile, but it can record a location much more accurately than that. The 'flag' would work in a two way method, so each would be able to the other. Eventually, it would show like it does on eBay, or other review sites - as a collective score. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So if someone turns someone down they are fake or a dreamer or a pic collector?
Nope, that's you reading the post incorrectly..."
People can change their minds right up to the last minute, life can get in the way are these people fakes and dreamers?
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"So if someone turns someone down they are fake or a dreamer or a pic collector?
Nope, that's you reading the post incorrectly...
People can change their minds right up to the last minute, life can get in the way are these people fakes and dreamers?
"
Nope, they are no-shows. The fakes and dreamers would be whittled at the point they reject the meet.
One no-show at a meet, could mean a family emergency, a car breakdown, a leaky pipe, etc.
However, ten meets with no-show, would suggest they are fake...
Would you agree to meet someone whose profile says they haven't turned up for their last ten meets?
Would you casually agree to meet someone, if you knew that if you didn't show, it would be shown on your profile? |
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No I wouldn't want this at all. It would put unnecessary pressure on people. If this system existed I wouldn't use it.
People get nervous, life happens and things get in the way. Putting pressure on someone to turn up or else they get a black mark on their profile is not fair. |
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"No I wouldn't want this at all. It would put unnecessary pressure on people. If this system existed I wouldn't use it.
People get nervous, life happens and things get in the way. Putting pressure on someone to turn up or else they get a black mark on their profile is not fair. "
You wouldn't need to use it. I bet there are other aspects of this site you don't use? This feature would be no different.
In regards to fair, is it fair to agree to meet someone, for them to dress up, maybe alter their plans, travel to a location, then the other party not to turn up? But then repeat that action to the next profile, and the next profile, etc? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So if someone turns someone down they are fake or a dreamer or a pic collector?
Nope, that's you reading the post incorrectly...
People can change their minds right up to the last minute, life can get in the way are these people fakes and dreamers?
Nope, they are no-shows. The fakes and dreamers would be whittled at the point they reject the meet.
One no-show at a meet, could mean a family emergency, a car breakdown, a leaky pipe, etc.
However, ten meets with no-show, would suggest they are fake...
Would you agree to meet someone whose profile says they haven't turned up for their last ten meets?
Would you casually agree to meet someone, if you knew that if you didn't show, it would be shown on your profile?"
Id never agree or click any button to say id arranged anything, if i want to meet al meet if i change my mind at any time then il change my mind
Il continue to use the filters the site provides me with, never had a no-show in 14 years |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Il continue to use the filters the site provides me with, never had a no-show in 14 years
Lucky you!  "
No luck involved, i use filters and chat before hand |
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"if i change my mind at any time then il change my mind
"
"
Il continue to use the filters the site provides me with, never had a no-show in 14 years
Lucky you!
No luck involved, i use filters and chat before hand "
Has everyone who's agreed to meet you been so lucky though? Your previous comment would suggest not.. |
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"So, if someone flakes and doesn't show up but hits that button first, the person who did intend to show up is flagged as a dreamer?
There is a way around that. The site can record your location. It may display your location to within quarter mile, but it can record a location much more accurately than that. The 'flag' would work in a two way method, so each would be able to the other. Eventually, it would show like it does on eBay, or other review sites - as a collective score."
I have a GPS spoofer on most times, people can be very weird about how close they are and trying to triangulate your location. And many people don't use the GPS at all because of that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is there a possibility of implementing an agreed meet facility.
For example, messages between different profiles, then a meet is arranged. One profile sends an 'Agreed Meet' appointment to the other, which can be accepted or declined. If they decline it, the first profile is notified, so they know the other profile is fake/dreamer/pic collector. If the invite is accepted, it is recorded on both profiles similar to how 'meet today' is. Should either party not turn up, the other profile can report them. This too is shown on their profile.
This might cut down on the no-shows which many have complained about"
Sounds very complex. How about just block and move on. You will never stop fakes. So either accept it happens and do the best you can to ensure a successful meet or block and delete |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is there a possibility of implementing an agreed meet facility.
For example, messages between different profiles, then a meet is arranged. One profile sends an 'Agreed Meet' appointment to the other, which can be accepted or declined. If they decline it, the first profile is notified, so they know the other profile is fake/dreamer/pic collector. If the invite is accepted, it is recorded on both profiles similar to how 'meet today' is. Should either party not turn up, the other profile can report them. This too is shown on their profile.
This might cut down on the no-shows which many have complained about"
You dnt share face pics online. ? So they press a button to agree a!meet of a couple they've not seen. How does that seem fair? |
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"So, if someone flakes and doesn't show up but hits that button first, the person who did intend to show up is flagged as a dreamer?
There is a way around that. The site can record your location. It may display your location to within quarter mile, but it can record a location much more accurately than that. The 'flag' would work in a two way method, so each would be able to the other. Eventually, it would show like it does on eBay, or other review sites - as a collective score.
I have a GPS spoofer on most times, people can be very weird about how close they are and trying to triangulate your location. And many people don't use the GPS at all because of that."
I wouldn't want my precise location revealed on a public website. I wouldn't use this website if that was a mandatory requirement. |
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"Is there a possibility of implementing an agreed meet facility.
For example, messages between different profiles, then a meet is arranged. One profile sends an 'Agreed Meet' appointment to the other, which can be accepted or declined. If they decline it, the first profile is notified, so they know the other profile is fake/dreamer/pic collector. If the invite is accepted, it is recorded on both profiles similar to how 'meet today' is. Should either party not turn up, the other profile can report them. This too is shown on their profile.
This might cut down on the no-shows which many have complained about
Sounds very complex. How about just block and move on. You will never stop fakes. So either accept it happens and do the best you can to ensure a successful meet or block and delete "
This "block and move on" response is given to so many suggestion put forward, it's become quite predictable! I'm surprised it hasn't already been mentioned in a previous comment! There are often status updates or forum posts with people complaining about fake profiles, or no-shows, but the answer is always "block and move on"... How does that help improve the site? It just encourages more fakes!
It seems the technology behind my suggestion already exists within Fab. There would be nothing complex about it at all. Two profiles agree a time, place and location (which they would need to do for any meets), then they create that agreed meet within a section of the site. Have you looked at the meets and events page? It's already half way to what I've suggested. |
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"So, if someone flakes and doesn't show up but hits that button first, the person who did intend to show up is flagged as a dreamer?
There is a way around that. The site can record your location. It may display your location to within quarter mile, but it can record a location much more accurately than that. The 'flag' would work in a two way method, so each would be able to the other. Eventually, it would show like it does on eBay, or other review sites - as a collective score.
I have a GPS spoofer on most times, people can be very weird about how close they are and trying to triangulate your location. And many people don't use the GPS at all because of that.
I wouldn't want my precise location revealed on a public website. I wouldn't use this website if that was a mandatory requirement. "
Nobody suggested that, you've misunderstood the concept |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is there a possibility of implementing an agreed meet facility.
For example, messages between different profiles, then a meet is arranged. One profile sends an 'Agreed Meet' appointment to the other, which can be accepted or declined. If they decline it, the first profile is notified, so they know the other profile is fake/dreamer/pic collector. If the invite is accepted, it is recorded on both profiles similar to how 'meet today' is. Should either party not turn up, the other profile can report them. This too is shown on their profile.
This might cut down on the no-shows which many have complained about
Sounds very complex. How about just block and move on. You will never stop fakes. So either accept it happens and do the best you can to ensure a successful meet or block and delete
This "block and move on" response is given to so many suggestion put forward, it's become quite predictable! I'm surprised it hasn't already been mentioned in a previous comment! There are often status updates or forum posts with people complaining about fake profiles, or no-shows, but the answer is always "block and move on"... How does that help improve the site? It just encourages more fakes!
It seems the technology behind my suggestion already exists within Fab. There would be nothing complex about it at all. Two profiles agree a time, place and location (which they would need to do for any meets), then they create that agreed meet within a section of the site. Have you looked at the meets and events page? It's already half way to what I've suggested."
Good luck. Its above my head and sounds like a business meeting. |
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"Is there a possibility of implementing an agreed meet facility.
For example, messages between different profiles, then a meet is arranged. One profile sends an 'Agreed Meet' appointment to the other, which can be accepted or declined. If they decline it, the first profile is notified, so they know the other profile is fake/dreamer/pic collector. If the invite is accepted, it is recorded on both profiles similar to how 'meet today' is. Should either party not turn up, the other profile can report them. This too is shown on their profile.
This might cut down on the no-shows which many have complained about
You dnt share face pics online. ? So they press a button to agree a!meet of a couple they've not seen. How does that seem fair?"
Your comment is totally irrelevant to the suggestion.... |
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"So, if someone flakes and doesn't show up but hits that button first, the person who did intend to show up is flagged as a dreamer?
There is a way around that. The site can record your location. It may display your location to within quarter mile, but it can record a location much more accurately than that. The 'flag' would work in a two way method, so each would be able to the other. Eventually, it would show like it does on eBay, or other review sites - as a collective score.
I have a GPS spoofer on most times, people can be very weird about how close they are and trying to triangulate your location. And many people don't use the GPS at all because of that."
I expect These people are in the minority.
There will always be people trying to get around the system. It doesn't mean action shouldn't be taken to make it difficult for them!
Where does that mindset end?
Don't bother locking your front door because someone might know how to pick the lock?
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How many no shows do you have to be worried about this?
By no shows I mean, you've made arrangements, agreed a place and time and they don't show up?
It's happened once to us, but we were eager and let our guard down and accept full responsibility.
Given we almost exclusively meet at our home, we're very careful who we give our address to.
I honestly don't think this is a problem which needs solving.
Your profile also suggests you change your sexual orientation and looking for, this could well put people off you've agreed to meet.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"if i change my mind at any time then il change my mind
Il continue to use the filters the site provides me with, never had a no-show in 14 years
Lucky you!
No luck involved, i use filters and chat before hand
Has everyone who's agreed to meet you been so lucky though? Your previous comment would suggest not.."
If i change my mind then they have obvs done somthing to put me off therefore i tell them, ive never not just shown up or vice versa, if your having lots of experience of this happening then maybe you have to change your vetting system |
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"How many no shows do you have to be worried about this?
By no shows I mean, you've made arrangements, agreed a place and time and they don't show up?
It's happened once to us, but we were eager and let our guard down and accept full responsibility.
Given we almost exclusively meet at our home, we're very careful who we give our address to.
I honestly don't think this is a problem which needs solving.
Your profile also suggests you change your sexual orientation and looking for, this could well put people off you've agreed to meet.
"
In 8 years we've had 2 no-shows. Both were fully anticipated, and weren't a problem because we were at the location for something else anyway. You've incorrectly assumed this is a problem which affects us. It isn't. However, there are regular status updates and forum posts about it being an issue. You've also decided to give unrequested profile advice. Whilst your comment hasn't raised any concerns this end, it does breach forum rules! So you clarify, we do NOT need advice about our profile, nor around managing our meets. The suggestion has been put forward because there are regular complaints of this nature within status updates and forum posts. |
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"if i change my mind at any time then il change my mind
Il continue to use the filters the site provides me with, never had a no-show in 14 years
Lucky you!
No luck involved, i use filters and chat before hand
Has everyone who's agreed to meet you been so lucky though? Your previous comment would suggest not..
If i change my mind then they have obvs done somthing to put me off therefore i tell them, ive never not just shown up or vice versa, if your having lots of experience of this happening then maybe you have to change your vetting system "
See above... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is already a report function, where you can choose "arranged a meet, did not turn up"
(Which no doubt has been used maliciously by some, but it makes admin aware and can look into it)
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"if i change my mind at any time then il change my mind
Il continue to use the filters the site provides me with, never had a no-show in 14 years
Lucky you!
No luck involved, i use filters and chat before hand
Has everyone who's agreed to meet you been so lucky though? Your previous comment would suggest not..
If i change my mind then they have obvs done somthing to put me off therefore i tell them, ive never not just shown up or vice versa, if your having lots of experience of this happening then maybe you have to change your vetting system
See above..."
 |
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"There is already a report function, where you can choose "arranged a meet, did not turn up"
(Which no doubt has been used maliciously by some, but it makes admin aware and can look into it)
"
The report function only serves to notify Admin, not others. It is unclear what action (if any) Admin take. This then creates another issue, because if people think Admin don't take action, they stop reporting. If no-shows are not reported, even admin won't know about the profiles.
Yes the function might be used maliciously, but as explained above, the collective recording will be a true reflection. Which other site members can see l. This too is a already part of the site, and needs a simple adjustment in the verification summary.
Example: Verified by 37 people, newest 1 week ago
3 fem. 15 men. 19 cpl. By 45 meet (7 no-shows). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Say the 2 people agree to meet click the necessary buttons both turn up but one decided they didnt like the other and maliciously click they didnt turn up button? That person will have a never showed against their name |
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"Say the 2 people agree to meet click the necessary buttons both turn up but one decided they didnt like the other and maliciously click they didnt turn up button? That person will have a never showed against their name "
I've answered this twice. The most recent is the very last paragraph, directly above! |
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If someone is having so many difficulties with fakes, dreamers or no shows surely the simplest solution is to stop for a second and look at how they are choosing to engage with others.
There are many people on here who don't suffer from no shows. I've never had one in almost 8 years here and never been one and in every thread that pops up about this numerous others say exactly the same.
The site is just a tool to facilitate meeting.
You can't expect the site to do all the heavy lifting.
We are all grown adults and should be able to form our own opinions based on the information we already have and to see the very obvious red flags.
|
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"There is already a report function, where you can choose "arranged a meet, did not turn up"
(Which no doubt has been used maliciously by some, but it makes admin aware and can look into it)
The report function only serves to notify Admin, not others. It is unclear what action (if any) Admin take. This then creates another issue, because if people think Admin don't take action, they stop reporting. If no-shows are not reported, even admin won't know about the profiles.
Yes the function might be used maliciously, but as explained above, the collective recording will be a true reflection. Which other site members can see l. This too is a already part of the site, and needs a simple adjustment in the verification summary.
Example: Verified by 37 people, newest 1 week ago
3 fem. 15 men. 19 cpl. By 45 meet (7 no-shows)."
Someone displaying a list of multiple no shows would be an immediate red flag for me.
My first thought would be to ask why they had such a high failure rate and what they were doing to cause others not to show up. |
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"If someone is having so many difficulties with fakes, dreamers or no shows surely the simplest solution is to stop for a second and look at how they are choosing to engage with others.
There are many people on here who don't suffer from no shows. I've never had one in almost 8 years here and never been one and in every thread that pops up about this numerous others say exactly the same.
The site is just a tool to facilitate meeting.
You can't expect the site to do all the heavy lifting.
We are all grown adults and should be able to form our own opinions based on the information we already have and to see the very obvious red flags.
"
I think you've twisted the suggestion. This isn't about one profile having multiple no-shows from several others. This is about one profile not turning up for several meets. Which in your second comment you have agreed, if this was in their profile, it would be a red flag for everyone else.
Nobody is suggesting the site do "all the heavy lifting". Instead, the suggestion is to simply incorporate a system, which provides other users with information. The technology guy doing this seems to already exist within Fab...
|
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"What next? Admin joining your meet to ensure quality?
I think it's a ridiculous idea."
Which particular part do you find ridiculous?
The implementation of it? Which you wouldn't be involved with...
Using of the facility? Which you wouldn't be obligated...
Seeing how many times someone has been recorded as a no-show? Which YOU have the freedom to ignore if you wish...
Others seeing how many times you haven't turned up? Hmmm...
Which particular part do you find ridiculous? |
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"If someone is having so many difficulties with fakes, dreamers or no shows surely the simplest solution is to stop for a second and look at how they are choosing to engage with others.
There are many people on here who don't suffer from no shows. I've never had one in almost 8 years here and never been one and in every thread that pops up about this numerous others say exactly the same.
The site is just a tool to facilitate meeting.
You can't expect the site to do all the heavy lifting.
We are all grown adults and should be able to form our own opinions based on the information we already have and to see the very obvious red flags.
I think you've twisted the suggestion. This isn't about one profile having multiple no-shows from several others. This is about one profile not turning up for several meets. Which in your second comment you have agreed, if this was in their profile, it would be a red flag for everyone else.
Nobody is suggesting the site do "all the heavy lifting". Instead, the suggestion is to simply incorporate a system, which provides other users with information. The technology guy doing this seems to already exist within Fab...
"
You are suggesting the site records no shows against a profile but as others have said that can be abused by others and doesn't give any context as to why they didn't show up so it's a bit pointless.
My point about the heavy lifting is that for all those who have never been a no show or never experienced it, it gets tiresome when others claim it happens to them all the time and they reject any suggestion that it may be down to their own approach.
Proper communication, realistic expectations and an ability to assess and if need be reassess will always lead to a better experience.
As the poster above just asked, where do you draw the line with involving the site and admin in your own interaction without having your hand held? |
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"If someone is having so many difficulties with fakes, dreamers or no shows surely the simplest solution is to stop for a second and look at how they are choosing to engage with others.
There are many people on here who don't suffer from no shows. I've never had one in almost 8 years here and never been one and in every thread that pops up about this numerous others say exactly the same.
The site is just a tool to facilitate meeting.
You can't expect the site to do all the heavy lifting.
We are all grown adults and should be able to form our own opinions based on the information we already have and to see the very obvious red flags.
I think you've twisted the suggestion. This isn't about one profile having multiple no-shows from several others. This is about one profile not turning up for several meets. Which in your second comment you have agreed, if this was in their profile, it would be a red flag for everyone else.
Nobody is suggesting the site do "all the heavy lifting". Instead, the suggestion is to simply incorporate a system, which provides other users with information. The technology guy doing this seems to already exist within Fab...
You are suggesting the site records no shows against a profile but as others have said that can be abused by others and doesn't give any context as to why they didn't show up so it's a bit pointless.
My point about the heavy lifting is that for all those who have never been a no show or never experienced it, it gets tiresome when others claim it happens to them all the time and they reject any suggestion that it may be down to their own approach.
Proper communication, realistic expectations and an ability to assess and if need be reassess will always lead to a better experience.
As the poster above just asked, where do you draw the line with involving the site and admin in your own interaction without having your hand held?"
The line is simple... Provide people with the necessary information. The same question could be asked about verifications. They exist so users have some reassurance the other profile is genuine. However, someone could have five verifications, but have not turned up for fifteen. Would you agree to meet them, if their profile showed this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Say the 2 people agree to meet click the necessary buttons both turn up but one decided they didnt like the other and maliciously click they didnt turn up button? That person will have a never showed against their name
I've answered this twice. The most recent is the very last paragraph, directly above! "
You never answered it you just said yes it could be used maliciously |
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"Say the 2 people agree to meet click the necessary buttons both turn up but one decided they didnt like the other and maliciously click they didnt turn up button? That person will have a never showed against their name
I've answered this twice. The most recent is the very last paragraph, directly above!
You never answered it you just said yes it could be used maliciously "
Maybe have a read of the whole reply...
You're query has been addressed. |
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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago
Leigh-on-Sea |
Going back to your initial suggestion, let's say, for the sake of argument, that someone has messaged you. Someone who you have no interest in, but you elect to send them a polite reply informing them of such.
They then respond using you proposed feature sending you an agreed meet 'request' which you decline.
Does that then mean that you are a fake?
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"How many no shows do you have to be worried about this?
By no shows I mean, you've made arrangements, agreed a place and time and they don't show up?
It's happened once to us, but we were eager and let our guard down and accept full responsibility.
Given we almost exclusively meet at our home, we're very careful who we give our address to.
I honestly don't think this is a problem which needs solving.
Your profile also suggests you change your sexual orientation and looking for, this could well put people off you've agreed to meet.
In 8 years we've had 2 no-shows. Both were fully anticipated, and weren't a problem because we were at the location for something else anyway. You've incorrectly assumed this is a problem which affects us. It isn't. However, there are regular status updates and forum posts about it being an issue. You've also decided to give unrequested profile advice. Whilst your comment hasn't raised any concerns this end, it does breach forum rules! So you clarify, we do NOT need advice about our profile, nor around managing our meets. The suggestion has been put forward because there are regular complaints of this nature within status updates and forum posts."
What I said about your profile is almost certainly within forum rules. You're allowed to comment on someone's profile if its relevant to the thread and you're not being nasty or nit picking, however I'll let a forum mod be the authority on that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Say the 2 people agree to meet click the necessary buttons both turn up but one decided they didnt like the other and maliciously click they didnt turn up button? That person will have a never showed against their name
I've answered this twice. The most recent is the very last paragraph, directly above!
You never answered it you just said yes it could be used maliciously
Maybe have a read of the whole reply...
You're query has been addressed."
Not everyone gives a veri and what if it is two unverified people meeting how will that coincide with that summary? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What next? Admin joining your meet to ensure quality?
I think it's a ridiculous idea.
Which particular part do you find ridiculous?
The implementation of it? Which you wouldn't be involved with...
Using of the facility? Which you wouldn't be obligated...
Seeing how many times someone has been recorded as a no-show? Which YOU have the freedom to ignore if you wish...
Others seeing how many times you haven't turned up? Hmmm...
Which particular part do you find ridiculous? "
The whole concept has a 'busybody' ring to it like a nosey neighbour. Why on earth would you want it, you've said you have none of the issues you claim this would resolve. Also, the tone of your reply was uncalled for to be honest. I gave my view on it, no more, no less but on reading some of your other posts on other threads, I'll not take it personally. |
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"Going back to your initial suggestion, let's say, for the sake of argument, that someone has messaged you. Someone who you have no interest in, but you elect to send them a polite reply informing them of such.
They then respond using you proposed feature sending you an agreed meet 'request' which you decline.
Does that then mean that you are a fake?
"
No, because that is not an 'agreed' meet. That is you declining an unagreed meet. |
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"A question for OP.
You have already said you don't have a problem with no shows so why are you fighting so hard for a solution to a problem that doesn't have any impact on you?"
I'm not fighting anything. People are asking questions, I'm answering them... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Example..
I chat with 'bond0069' we agree to meet in private messages. He sends the invitation to meet and I respond yes. Day of meet, we meet, it's a boring meet. What's to stop him or me clicking that we didn't meet which creates this mark on either of our profiles?
The question was asked before but I can't see where it was answered
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"Example..
I chat with 'bond0069' we agree to meet in private messages. He sends the invitation to meet and I respond yes. Day of meet, we meet, it's a boring meet. What's to stop him or me clicking that we didn't meet which creates this mark on either of our profiles?
The question was asked before but I can't see where it was answered
"
Then you report it to admin. The same as you would with any other inappropriate action on this site... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So if someone turns someone down they are fake or a dreamer or a pic collector?
Nope, that's you reading the post incorrectly...
People can change their minds right up to the last minute, life can get in the way are these people fakes and dreamers?
Nope, they are no-shows. The fakes and dreamers would be whittled at the point they reject the meet.
One no-show at a meet, could mean a family emergency, a car breakdown, a leaky pipe, etc.
However, ten meets with no-show, would suggest they are fake...
Would you agree to meet someone whose profile says they haven't turned up for their last ten meets?
Would you casually agree to meet someone, if you knew that if you didn't show, it would be shown on your profile?"
Absolute rubbish.
You can see from our verifications we are as genuine and rea as they come, we can arrange a meet and as someone has already said, real life gets in the way. And we have had to cancel, way more than ten.
In your estimation that makes us fake and timewasters!!! |
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"So if someone turns someone down they are fake or a dreamer or a pic collector?
Nope, that's you reading the post incorrectly...
People can change their minds right up to the last minute, life can get in the way are these people fakes and dreamers?
Nope, they are no-shows. The fakes and dreamers would be whittled at the point they reject the meet.
One no-show at a meet, could mean a family emergency, a car breakdown, a leaky pipe, etc.
However, ten meets with no-show, would suggest they are fake...
Would you agree to meet someone whose profile says they haven't turned up for their last ten meets?
Would you casually agree to meet someone, if you knew that if you didn't show, it would be shown on your profile?
Absolute rubbish.
You can see from our verifications we are as genuine and rea as they come, we can arrange a meet and as someone has already said, real life gets in the way. And we have had to cancel, way more than ten.
In your estimation that makes us fake and timewasters!!!"
Nope, it probably just makes you a profile others should be cautious about meeting. Does the number of meets for which you have turned up far exceed the ones you haven't?
Also CANCELLING a meet is totally different to not turning up. Did you advise the other party you weren't going to make it? If so, your examples do not apply here.. |
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"So, if someone flakes and doesn't show up but hits that button first, the person who did intend to show up is flagged as a dreamer?
There is a way around that. The site can record your location."
Only if you have location active, on the site or on device. |
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I think it's a very good idea.
It would make agreements explicitly clear. The date and time of the appointment could be included, as could the physical location.
It would end uncertainty etc. And let Admin see more background details, should no shows get reported. |
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"I think it's a very good idea.
It would make agreements explicitly clear. The date and time of the appointment could be included, as could the physical location.
It would end uncertainty etc. And let Admin see more background details, should no shows get reported. "
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Aside from the practical problems of which there are several the whole idea leaves me cold. Makes things sound so much more transactional and not sexy at all. Like booking a hotel room or worse. Veris are bad enough at times although they can be useful.
I think the not turning up after agreeing a time and place is pretty rare. Extremely rare for couples and single ladies. Touch more common for men. This could potentially help a bit but the bigger issue is people being flaky and not committing to a meet after chatting being positive and talking about fixing a meet. That does happens a lot with couples and single ladies (speaking as a single man and weari_g couples hat) but not sure this system would help with that. Can't report somebody for not agreeing to meet. That is their perogative. It can be frustrating when it seems you are being strung along but just got to get better at spotting the signals on that and moving on.
Overall good try OP but don't think it makes sense and the broad opinion in comments above would seem to agree. |
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"Example..
I chat with 'bond0069' we agree to meet in private messages. He sends the invitation to meet and I respond yes. Day of meet, we meet, it's a boring meet. What's to stop him or me clicking that we didn't meet which creates this mark on either of our profiles?
The question was asked before but I can't see where it was answered
"
It wasn't and that is a big issue. It's basically negative veris by the back door. In theory I guess admin could check with both and try to adjudicate if somebody objected to their negative feedback and said that we did meet. However, that would be an impossible job and a huge strain on resources. Next.... |
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"If they decline it, the first profile is notified, so they know the other profile is fake/dreamer/pic collector."
or they don't want to 100% commit to a date at the precise time you send the meet request (things are often more fluid)
or they don't want details of such things on Fab servers viewable by Admin
or they don't want to formalise things and risk you
sending them fake "didn't show" feedback if you meet and things don't go to plan
or probably a few other reasons.
Sorry OP it really is a ridiculous leap of logic to say that somebody declining the request would mean that they are a fake/dreamer/pic collector. |
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"Aside from the practical problems of which there are several the whole idea leaves me cold. Makes things sound so much more transactional and not sexy at all. Like booking a hotel room or worse. Veris are bad enough at times although they can be useful.
I think the not turning up after agreeing a time and place is pretty rare. Extremely rare for couples and single ladies. Touch more common for men. This could potentially help a bit but the bigger issue is people being flaky and not committing to a meet after chatting being positive and talking about fixing a meet. That does happens a lot with couples and single ladies (speaking as a single man and weari_g couples hat) but not sure this system would help with that. Can't report somebody for not agreeing to meet. That is their perogative. It can be frustrating when it seems you are being strung along but just got to get better at spotting the signals on that and moving on.
Overall good try OP but don't think it makes sense and the broad opinion in comments above would seem to agree. "
The example you've given isn't relevant to my suggestion. I haven't suggested reporting someone for not agreeing to a meet? |
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"Example..
I chat with 'bond0069' we agree to meet in private messages. He sends the invitation to meet and I respond yes. Day of meet, we meet, it's a boring meet. What's to stop him or me clicking that we didn't meet which creates this mark on either of our profiles?
The question was asked before but I can't see where it was answered
It wasn't and that is a big issue. It's basically negative veris by the back door. In theory I guess admin could check with both and try to adjudicate if somebody objected to their negative feedback and said that we did meet. However, that would be an impossible job and a huge strain on resources. Next...."
It's not a drain on resources. In your previous comment, you mention people not turning up for meets is rare. Well surely this means false reports of not turning up would be even more rare! |
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""If they decline it, the first profile is notified, so they know the other profile is fake/dreamer/pic collector."
or they don't want to 100% commit to a date at the precise time you send the meet request (things are often more fluid)
or they don't want details of such things on Fab servers viewable by Admin
or they don't want to formalise things and risk you
sending them fake "didn't show" feedback if you meet and things don't go to plan
or probably a few other reasons.
Sorry OP it really is a ridiculous leap of logic to say that somebody declining the request would mean that they are a fake/dreamer/pic collector. "
So why would they decline an AGREED meet? The meet has been agreed in messages beforehand, why would they then decline it in a different format? |
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"Aside from the practical problems of which there are several the whole idea leaves me cold. Makes things sound so much more transactional and not sexy at all. Like booking a hotel room or worse. Veris are bad enough at times although they can be useful.
I think the not turning up after agreeing a time and place is pretty rare. Extremely rare for couples and single ladies. Touch more common for men. This could potentially help a bit but the bigger issue is people being flaky and not committing to a meet after chatting being positive and talking about fixing a meet. That does happens a lot with couples and single ladies (speaking as a single man and weari_g couples hat) but not sure this system would help with that. Can't report somebody for not agreeing to meet. That is their perogative. It can be frustrating when it seems you are being strung along but just got to get better at spotting the signals on that and moving on.
Overall good try OP but don't think it makes sense and the broad opinion in comments above would seem to agree.
The example you've given isn't relevant to my suggestion. I haven't suggested reporting someone for not agreeing to a meet?"
No you haven't. i was saying how this proposed system wouldn't help with the bigger problem - flaky people/fakes etc. far more of an issue than people agreeing to a meet and then not showing. |
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"Example..
I chat with 'bond0069' we agree to meet in private messages. He sends the invitation to meet and I respond yes. Day of meet, we meet, it's a boring meet. What's to stop him or me clicking that we didn't meet which creates this mark on either of our profiles?
The question was asked before but I can't see where it was answered
It wasn't and that is a big issue. It's basically negative veris by the back door. In theory I guess admin could check with both and try to adjudicate if somebody objected to their negative feedback and said that we did meet. However, that would be an impossible job and a huge strain on resources. Next....
It's not a drain on resources. In your previous comment, you mention people not turning up for meets is rare. Well surely this means false reports of not turning up would be even more rare!"
Well in % terms it rare but in absolute terms it still be a big number given the thousand and thousands of people meeting on Fab.
More to the point I said people not turning up is rare. Doesn't mean people pretending people hadn't turned up would be rare if this system caught on. How many admins with adjudication skills there are?  |
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""If they decline it, the first profile is notified, so they know the other profile is fake/dreamer/pic collector."
or they don't want to 100% commit to a date at the precise time you send the meet request (things are often more fluid)
or they don't want details of such things on Fab servers viewable by Admin
or they don't want to formalise things and risk you
sending them fake "didn't show" feedback if you meet and things don't go to plan
or probably a few other reasons.
Sorry OP it really is a ridiculous leap of logic to say that somebody declining the request would mean that they are a fake/dreamer/pic collector.
So why would they decline an AGREED meet? The meet has been agreed in messages beforehand, why would they then decline it in a different format?"
I've listed some of the reasons above. |
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"they don't want to 100% commit to a date at the precise time you send the meet request (things are often more fluid)
"
Then this isn't an agreed meet?
"
or they don't want details of such things on Fab servers viewable by Admin
"
The messages would already on Fab servers, therefore viewable by admin.
"
or they don't want to formalise things and risk you
sending them fake "didn't show" feedback if you meet and things don't go to plan
"
Which you agree would be very rare...
Also, if they do this to one person, then they are likely to do it to others. This could easily be picked up by Admin. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a very good idea.
It would make agreements explicitly clear. The date and time of the appointment could be included, as could the physical location.
It would end uncertainty etc. And let Admin see more background details, should no shows get reported. "
"Appointment" making a meet sound more like a business transaction.
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"I think it's a very good idea.
It would make agreements explicitly clear. The date and time of the appointment could be included, as could the physical location.
It would end uncertainty etc. And let Admin see more background details, should no shows get reported.
"Appointment" making a meet sound more like a business transaction.
"
Use a different word then.
Sucking a cock poking out a wall doesn't have a good ring to it either. Glory Hole sounds better through...
Just because it 'sounds' like something you don't like, it doesn't make it a bad idea. |
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"Out of interest has anyone ever suggested an “improvement” to the site that’s actually been adopted? "
In the last 10 years, I only recall the implementation of 'Friends Messages', and video upload as a changes to the site. There may have been others, but I certainly don't remember them.
Usually the age of the background software is given as an excuse for suggestions not being considered. Which is why I've mentioned above, that my suggestion shouldn't have this issue.
Suggestions to change are rarely taken well within this forum. A suggestion to tackle a problem which one section of the site uses, is usually met with objection from other sure members who don't see it as a problem. Again, this is why I mentioned above about not needing to use the function. A tool which others may find useful, can be disregarded by those who don't.
Unfortunately, with so much negativity to suggestions, Admin don't get a fair and balanced discussion on forum. With the exception of it maybe being resource intensive (which is only speculation), I don't see a valid answer for why my suggestion wouldn't work. This doesn't just apply to my suggestion, countless others have been met with similar nonsensical negativity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a very good idea.
It would make agreements explicitly clear. The date and time of the appointment could be included, as could the physical location.
It would end uncertainty etc. And let Admin see more background details, should no shows get reported.
"Appointment" making a meet sound more like a business transaction.
Use a different word then.
Sucking a cock poking out a wall doesn't have a good ring to it either. Glory Hole sounds better through...
Just because it 'sounds' like something you don't like, it doesn't make it a bad idea."
Why everytime someone makes a comment you shoot them down? I was refering to a comment already made by another poster. You seem to have a problem with everyone who doesnt agree with what you posted. People have given their opinions and thoughts to why they wouldnt want this, which is the objective of a forum. You seem to think if we wouldnt click this aggreed meet thing then we have somthing to hide that we are prolific let downers etc. |
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"Out of interest has anyone ever suggested an “improvement” to the site that’s actually been adopted?
In the last 10 years, I only recall the implementation of 'Friends Messages', and video upload as a changes to the site. There may have been others, but I certainly don't remember them.
Usually the age of the background software is given as an excuse for suggestions not being considered. Which is why I've mentioned above, that my suggestion shouldn't have this issue.
Suggestions to change are rarely taken well within this forum. A suggestion to tackle a problem which one section of the site uses, is usually met with objection from other sure members who don't see it as a problem. Again, this is why I mentioned above about not needing to use the function. A tool which others may find useful, can be disregarded by those who don't.
Unfortunately, with so much negativity to suggestions, Admin don't get a fair and balanced discussion on forum. With the exception of it maybe being resource intensive (which is only speculation), I don't see a valid answer for why my suggestion wouldn't work. This doesn't just apply to my suggestion, countless others have been met with similar nonsensical negativity. "
I can't speak for others but the reason I usually disagree with most of the proposals is that they are suggested as ways of improving the OPs experience but don't reflect the experience of the vast majority of people using the site.
You have said you don't have issues with no shows and neither do I but suggestions like these are just like asking social media platforms to add new ways of garnering information from their users.
It's not a difficult concept to grasp. If people are struggling to maintain meaningful communication with other adults and get their knickers in a twist over the odd negative experience no amount of add ons will help. |
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"There is already a report function, where you can choose "arranged a meet, did not turn up"
(Which no doubt has been used maliciously by some, but it makes admin aware and can look into it)
The report function only serves to notify Admin, not others. It is unclear what action (if any) Admin take. This then creates another issue, because if people think Admin don't take action, they stop reporting. If no-shows are not reported, even admin won't know about the profiles.
Yes the function might be used maliciously, but as explained above, the collective recording will be a true reflection. Which other site members can see l. This too is a already part of the site, and needs a simple adjustment in the verification summary.
Example: Verified by 37 people, newest 1 week ago
3 fem. 15 men. 19 cpl. By 45 meet (7 no-shows)."
Then people would just hide their summary. Making a mockery of the whole thing. Everyone would be back to square 1. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is already a report function, where you can choose "arranged a meet, did not turn up"
(Which no doubt has been used maliciously by some, but it makes admin aware and can look into it)
The report function only serves to notify Admin, not others. It is unclear what action (if any) Admin take. This then creates another issue, because if people think Admin don't take action, they stop reporting. If no-shows are not reported, even admin won't know about the profiles.
Yes the function might be used maliciously, but as explained above, the collective recording will be a true reflection. Which other site members can see l. This too is a already part of the site, and needs a simple adjustment in the verification summary.
Example: Verified by 37 people, newest 1 week ago
3 fem. 15 men. 19 cpl. By 45 meet (7 no-shows)."
Admin can suspend or remove the profile, or request verification from them.
Name and shame is very much against Fab culture.
We all need take a few steps back and go back to basic due diligence.
The fakes, as frustrating as they are, are pretty easy to out.
Remember it is a human being you are talking about. It comes across that you treat them as a transaction.
I'll wish you well in your endeavours but I hope the ratings would never come to fruition.
(I've never not shown up)
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I would not use this. If someone can't trust me when I say I'll turn up, and needs to rely on automation to differentiate between "I decided to waste your time" and "life happened, oh shit, I'm sorry", then they don't trust me enough to get naked with me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good point gem I just think we need more trust in each other on this site or people actually be into what they say for instance why do people get offended by getting a message if we all had each other number that wouldn’t be a problem but wen a random messages a random it should be a nice thought not what on Earth the doing sending pm lol the joys of fab |
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"Good point gem I just think we need more trust in each other on this site or people actually be into what they say for instance why do people get offended by getting a message if we all had each other number that wouldn’t be a problem but wen a random messages a random it should be a nice thought not what on Earth the doing sending pm lol the joys of fab "
I don't think anyone is "offended" by getting a message. But some messages are unwelcome or unappreciated. There's an important difference.
And no, I don't think if we all had each other's number it'd be better! There would still be unwanted and unappreciated messages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good point gem I just think we need more trust in each other on this site or people actually be into what they say for instance why do people get offended by getting a message if we all had each other number that wouldn’t be a problem but wen a random messages a random it should be a nice thought not what on Earth the doing sending pm lol the joys of fab "
Never offended at getting a message.. i offended at the manner some men think they can speak to me. |
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