FabSwingers.com > Forums > Fabswingers.com site feedback > No thanks mail reply
No thanks mail reply
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As like many people on here who take the time to send messages that are polite I find it frustrating when the message you sent is remarked as unread or they don’t bother to reply. I appreciate that some people must get snowed under and have hundreds of messages that they simply cannot reply too.
Why not simple have a “no thanks” option to reply that with the press of a single button instantly lets people know what you think. It would be as simple as hitting delete but shows a bit more curtesy. Maybe hitting that could set up a block for the original sender to send more messages to the same user so preventing the endless messages which can often end up nasty and unwanted because they were turned down.
Would be simple to set up and save a lot of time.
Worth a try Fabswingers? |
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"There's a simple delete icon which is very handy. No reply means not interested and you should accept that and move on. "
I agree take a deletion of the email as a not interested. If its not read for 3 weeks and not deleted quiet right to do a follow up email… if its read and not replied then follow up in 3 weeks.
Ive had loads of meets and coversation with folk that say after the read it they go to reply but life gets in the way etc and before they now it they have a 100s messages more and they just forget its human nature…
But you can leave notes against the profile like i do and you can see when you last messaged them
So you know.
But its a fact of fab that some folk will look at your heading, avatar or intial message without opening it and just ignore it unless they feel like it. Or it catches there eye |
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Taken from the site FAQ.
*There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!
It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?*
It's easier to just move on than dwell on it. As they say. Plenty more fish in the sea.  |
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"Not replying saves more time "
This, especially as about 90% of messages come from men that cannot even do us the courtesy of reading our profiles.
But we're meant to reply and then take the hate mail.
Oh no |
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The other thing men with 5 messages in their inbox do not realise is that there are only so many messages displayed per page.
I think it's 75? So if you are number 76 to message that day you might not ever get seen, let alone have a 'handy button'  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely agree! I always think that a lot wouldn't get a second look in the real world! 300 messages on here, but would they get bought 300 drinks in a pub or a club, nah, just rudeness, I am sure that half of them would eat themselves if they were made of chocolate lol |
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"Absolutely agree! I always think that a lot wouldn't get a second look in the real world! 300 messages on here, but would they get bought 300 drinks in a pub or a club, nah, just rudeness, I am sure that half of them would eat themselves if they were made of chocolate lol"
Good to know  |
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Not sure why you let it bother you? Comes across as a bit desperate.
The sooner you realise that a single male is the bottom of the food chain on here the more you'll be able to simply smile and move on.
I suggest getting out to a club and meeting that way. On here even women zero IQ and missing teeth have a queue of desperate men to choose from. Its just the way it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not replying saves more time "
Bloody rude & totally inconsiderate.
Does my head in the casual cruelty on here & that people boast about it!
There's a human being on the other end. Have some consideration. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not replying saves more time
Bloody rude & totally inconsiderate.
Does my head in the casual cruelty on here & that people boast about it!
There's a human being on the other end. Have some consideration."
No one is entitled to a reply
Faqs tell you no reply is a no thank you
It's not casual cruelty, it's self preservation from rude ppl that abuse you for saying no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seeing as 95% of the messages I get are
"Hi"
"Hi. How are you finding this site"
"Hi. I'm staying in a hotel near you. Fancy some fun"
I can't be arsed to reply to messages where no effort has been made. No reply means not interested. Sorry but I don't have time to reply to everyone. Harsh but true.
"
These are the messages I just delete. Or the ones with 1,000,000 dick pics attached.
If I open a message and it seems there's been some effort put in, I do tend to reply even if it's a no thanks. If it leads to abuse or pushyness then it's a straight block.
I'll always reply to a joke though  |
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"Not replying saves more time
Bloody rude & totally inconsiderate.
Does my head in the casual cruelty on here & that people boast about it!
There's a human being on the other end. Have some consideration.
No one is entitled to a reply
Faqs tell you no reply is a no thank you
It's not casual cruelty, it's self preservation from rude ppl that abuse you for saying no"
So are you saying you reply to all the polite messages, or just assume everyone is rude unless something appeals to you about them? Bit confused with the rationale here.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not replying saves more time
Bloody rude & totally inconsiderate.
Does my head in the casual cruelty on here & that people boast about it!
There's a human being on the other end. Have some consideration.
No one is entitled to a reply
Faqs tell you no reply is a no thank you
It's not casual cruelty, it's self preservation from rude ppl that abuse you for saying no
So are you saying you reply to all the polite messages, or just assume everyone is rude unless something appeals to you about them? Bit confused with the rationale here.
"
I reply to ppl I'd be interested in.
Why should I spend time replying to ppl I'm not interested in? I'm aware not everyone is rude when rejected, but life is too short to waste my time replying to ppl I am not attracted to or I wouldnt want to meet.
Would you contact the local pizza place to tell them you're not interested when they put a leaflet in your door? I'm guessing not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutely agree! I always think that a lot wouldn't get a second look in the real world! 300 messages on here, but would they get bought 300 drinks in a pub or a club, nah, just rudeness, I am sure that half of them would eat themselves if they were made of chocolate lol"
Eee |
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I just don't understand this incessant, self entitled need to have written confirmation that someone DOESN'T want to fuck you....
Picture this, you're feeling quite confident, sat indoors, having a few drinks and browsing fab, you send out 20 - 30 well crafted, well thought out messages to profiles you like the look of and feel you have a connection with....you hit the sack feeling hopeful, wake up in the morning, check your account and BOOM! Wow! 19 replies!
Get in! You think....then your heart sinks as you open each one and see 19 formally written rejection notices stating that you're not their type/too old/young/tall/short/hairy/bald/near/far etc....don't think I'd want to get out of bed after that....
Fuck that shit, positive messages in our inbox only ta muchley |
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I think a 'no thanks' multifunction block, delete and no thanks button would be ideal.
We know that no reply equals no thanks but some of us still send a no thanks message. If Fab introduced this, it would increase the general goodwill amongs users, with many feeling more positive. |
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A common, indeed routine complaint and exclusively from solo guys,of which I am one.
Couples and women on here get swamped by messages, most blunt and uncouth (I know having been swinging as a couple too). They just get deleted.
Guys should just sit back, write a really appealing page with good pictures and when women or couples are interested they will come to you. |
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It's simply "no reply not interested" that's your answer right there and please don't pester folk until they block you!
Yeh it happens its courtesy to read ppl profiles aswell and take in the info and if you don't fit what the person is looking for then scroll on! More times outta 10 I've replied 'sorry not my type' or 'not what am looking for' then I get abuse hurled at me as too "why not?"
So think going with "no reply means not interested" mindset is needed always... |
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"As like many people on here who take the time to send messages that are polite I find it frustrating when the message you sent is remarked as unread or they don’t bother to reply. I appreciate that some people must get snowed under and have hundreds of messages that they simply cannot reply too.
Why not simple have a “no thanks” option to reply that with the press of a single button instantly lets people know what you think. It would be as simple as hitting delete but shows a bit more curtesy. Maybe hitting that could set up a block for the original sender to send more messages to the same user so preventing the endless messages which can often end up nasty and unwanted because they were turned down.
Would be simple to set up and save a lot of time.
Worth a try Fabswingers?"
Do you reply to every piece of junk Mail? I'm presuming not
Do you know how abuse you can get for sending a simple no thank you, I've been called fat & ugly & was told I should count myself lucky they messaged me as they'd have been lowering their standards to fuck me
Not to mention that unless you block everyone your saying no thanks to (& why would you block them as your preference may change) they will forever be able to override any filters you may set
It that enough reasons why the site works fine as it is
Let's face it an unreplied message means not interested, there's no need to spell it out |
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"Absolutely agree! I always think that a lot wouldn't get a second look in the real world! 300 messages on here, but would they get bought 300 drinks in a pub or a club, nah, just rudeness, I am sure that half of them would eat themselves if they were made of chocolate lol"
& this is a perfect example of why you shouldn't send a polite no thank you message, as these are the types of responses they encourage |
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"Absolutely agree! I always think that a lot wouldn't get a second look in the real world! 300 messages on here, but would they get bought 300 drinks in a pub or a club, nah, just rudeness, I am sure that half of them would eat themselves if they were made of chocolate lol
& this is a perfect example of why you shouldn't send a polite no thank you message, as these are the types of responses they encourage "
As this shows, unfortunatly there are always going to be rude people. Society seems to be heading more and more in this direction, and reading the comments on this thread, that's regardless of gender and status.
As individuals we choose how we want to behave, I choose to be polite and well mannered and I don't change this based on other peoples behaviour. But thats my choice and everyone is entitled to their own choice.
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I actively wouldn't want this.
I don't want to log on, see I've got messages, and have them all be auto replies. What on earth is the point?
The solution to "I don't like that I don't get replies" is to get over it.
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"Does my head in the casual cruelty on here & that people boast about it!
There's a human being on the other end. Have some consideration."
I'm a human being at this end. Where is the consideration from men that send unwanted messages??? |
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"
I think a 'no thanks' multifunction block, delete and no thanks button would be ideal.
We know that no reply equals no thanks but some of us still send a no thanks message. If Fab introduced this, it would increase the general goodwill amongs users, with many feeling more positive. "
How about a button where a man has to prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has read a profile and exactly matches what someone wants?
That would really help
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutely agree! I always think that a lot wouldn't get a second look in the real world! 300 messages on here, but would they get bought 300 drinks in a pub or a club, nah, just rudeness, I am sure that half of them would eat themselves if they were made of chocolate lol
& this is a perfect example of why you shouldn't send a polite no thank you message, as these are the types of responses they encourage "
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"
I think a 'no thanks' multifunction block, delete and no thanks button would be ideal.
We know that no reply equals no thanks but some of us still send a no thanks message. If Fab introduced this, it would increase the general goodwill amongs users, with many feeling more positive.
How about a button where a man has to prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has read a profile and exactly matches what someone wants?
That would really help
"
Possible . Users set multiple choice questions that must be answered, before they can be mailed. Wrong answers & the message never arrives  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No response is a response! I used to answer everyone and the amount of people who see a "thanks but no thanks" as an invitation to bombard you with further messages is staggering. Now if Im not interested I just don't reply and won't be made to feel bad about that |
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"No response is a response! I used to answer everyone and the amount of people who see a "thanks but no thanks" as an invitation to bombard you with further messages is staggering. Now if Im not interested I just don't reply and won't be made to feel bad about that"
I think they see it as an invitation to try and change your mind, like you didn't ignore them so you must be a little bit interested |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No response is a response! I used to answer everyone and the amount of people who see a "thanks but no thanks" as an invitation to bombard you with further messages is staggering. Now if Im not interested I just don't reply and won't be made to feel bad about that
I think they see it as an invitation to try and change your mind, like you didn't ignore them so you must be a little bit interested "
Or they ask why its a no thank you. And let's be honest, if we told them why, we'd get even more abuse |
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"No response is a response! I used to answer everyone and the amount of people who see a "thanks but no thanks" as an invitation to bombard you with further messages is staggering. Now if Im not interested I just don't reply and won't be made to feel bad about that
I think they see it as an invitation to try and change your mind, like you didn't ignore them so you must be a little bit interested
Or they ask why its a no thank you. And let's be honest, if we told them why, we'd get even more abuse "
It's fine to say no thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the women put a face pic on their profile, then people can make an informed choice rather than waste a message and time chancing that there may be some mutual attraction. Or is it attention seeking that is the narrative? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1. It would be a full time job.
2. If everyone read profiles they would know they aren't what someone was looking for.
3. Most messages are 'hi', 'fuk now' or equally as poor.
4. Most people don't take no as an answer and try and con convince you when you've said no. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As like many people on here who take the time to send messages that are polite I find it frustrating when the message you sent is remarked as unread or they don’t bother to reply. I appreciate that some people must get snowed under and have hundreds of messages that they simply cannot reply too.
Why not simple have a “no thanks” option to reply that with the press of a single button instantly lets people know what you think. It would be as simple as hitting delete but shows a bit more curtesy. Maybe hitting that could set up a block for the original sender to send more messages to the same user so preventing the endless messages which can often end up nasty and unwanted because they were turned down.
Would be simple to set up and save a lot of time.
Worth a try Fabswingers?"
Nope won't work.
Guys will know it's just taken a single ignorant press of one button to reply, so it's of the same level of ignorance as it is at the moment to a de kk eyed unread message. The site needs to go the other way and encourage people to reply civilly and politely. Nasty replays are mostly because of ignorance. There are some very popular couples and singles ladies who will evidently be deluged with messages, yet manage to reply politely and concisely wishing you well, so if others can't do that they need to reassess their filters to reduce their inbox.
Far too much woman centric and white knight pish on here. No need for it if folk just engage brain and are polite. Works every time with me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As like many people on here who take the time to send messages that are polite I find it frustrating when the message you sent is remarked as unread or they don’t bother to reply. I appreciate that some people must get snowed under and have hundreds of messages that they simply cannot reply too.
Why not simple have a “no thanks” option to reply that with the press of a single button instantly lets people know what you think. It would be as simple as hitting delete but shows a bit more curtesy. Maybe hitting that could set up a block for the original sender to send more messages to the same user so preventing the endless messages which can often end up nasty and unwanted because they were turned down.
Would be simple to set up and save a lot of time.
Worth a try Fabswingers?
Nope won't work.
Guys will know it's just taken a single ignorant press of one button to reply, so it's of the same level of ignorance as it is at the moment to a de kk eyed unread message. The site needs to go the other way and encourage people to reply civilly and politely. Nasty replays are mostly because of ignorance. There are some very popular couples and singles ladies who will evidently be deluged with messages, yet manage to reply politely and concisely wishing you well, so if others can't do that they need to reassess their filters to reduce their inbox.
Far too much woman centric and white knight pish on here. No need for it if folk just engage brain and are polite. Works every time with me."
If I reply "no thanks" - or any reply- the filters stop working on that profile. So if I block all X profiles they can still message even though I am not interested.
Get mad at the people who can't understand that no reply is NO. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I think they see it as an invitation to try and change your mind, like you didn't ignore them so you must be a little bit interested
Or they ask why its a no thank you. And let's be honest, if we told them why, we'd get even more abuse "
These two responses are spot on.
That's why we won't respond and to be honest many of the messages received are not worth responding to. How many times can you answer...
What you up to?
How's it going?
Yous meeting?
or worse still some long winded cut and paste of blurb and requests that don't even align with what's written in our profile. |
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"As like many people on here who take the time to send messages that are polite I find it frustrating when the message you sent is remarked as unread or they don’t bother to reply. I appreciate that some people must get snowed under and have hundreds of messages that they simply cannot reply too.
Why not simple have a “no thanks” option to reply that with the press of a single button instantly lets people know what you think. It would be as simple as hitting delete but shows a bit more curtesy. Maybe hitting that could set up a block for the original sender to send more messages to the same user so preventing the endless messages which can often end up nasty and unwanted because they were turned down.
Would be simple to set up and save a lot of time.
Worth a try Fabswingers?
Nope won't work.
Guys will know it's just taken a single ignorant press of one button to reply, so it's of the same level of ignorance as it is at the moment to a de kk eyed unread message. The site needs to go the other way and encourage people to reply civilly and politely. Nasty replays are mostly because of ignorance. There are some very popular couples and singles ladies who will evidently be deluged with messages, yet manage to reply politely and concisely wishing you well, so if others can't do that they need to reassess their filters to reduce their inbox.
Far too much woman centric and white knight pish on here. No need for it if folk just engage brain and are polite. Works every time with me.
If I reply "no thanks" - or any reply- the filters stop working on that profile. So if I block all X profiles they can still message even though I am not interested.
Get mad at the people who can't understand that no reply is NO. "
Yep this. And not to mention the ridiculous amount of time and energy it would take to reply to them all |
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"As like many people on here who take the time to send messages that are polite I find it frustrating when the message you sent is remarked as unread or they don’t bother to reply. I appreciate that some people must get snowed under and have hundreds of messages that they simply cannot reply too.
Why not simple have a “no thanks” option to reply that with the press of a single button instantly lets people know what you think. It would be as simple as hitting delete but shows a bit more curtesy. Maybe hitting that could set up a block for the original sender to send more messages to the same user so preventing the endless messages which can often end up nasty and unwanted because they were turned down.
Would be simple to set up and save a lot of time.
Worth a try Fabswingers?
Nope won't work.
Guys will know it's just taken a single ignorant press of one button to reply, so it's of the same level of ignorance as it is at the moment to a de kk eyed unread message. The site needs to go the other way and encourage people to reply civilly and politely. Nasty replays are mostly because of ignorance. There are some very popular couples and singles ladies who will evidently be deluged with messages, yet manage to reply politely and concisely wishing you well, so if others can't do that they need to reassess their filters to reduce their inbox.
Far too much woman centric and white knight pish on here. No need for it if folk just engage brain and are polite. Works every time with me."
Maybe those messaging first should take your advice and they might have more chance of a reply.
Why should I take time to construct a polite reply when they message me
Fuck now
Wuut
Meet?
Nah not buying your logic |
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So here’s one for you….I sent a message to someone I was interested in, she sent a message back telling me I had a great body and could she see a face pic. I sent her a face pic and found myself blocked. Now there’s so many different ways to approach that but either she replied to the wrong person, thought I was too ugly or maybe she even recognised me? I felt deflated and I would much have preferred a polite no thanks to being stonewalled but it’s fab life. |
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I reply to messages I get with a polite no thanks you are not my type. I would never just ignore or block someone.
I do delete messages or block people that clearly haven’t read my profile or have read it and ignore what it says. I haven’t taken the time to write a profile for people not to even bother to read it. I mean come on people, you want to fuck me but can’t even take a few minutes to read my profile. I clearly state if your message is boring, your profile empty or you are not verified by a meet I will delete your message. So if I delete your message it’s because of one of those reasons. Also if anyone is under my height restrictions as again it’s clear my profile hasn’t been read |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I reply to messages I get with a polite no thanks you are not my type. I would never just ignore or block someone.
I do delete messages or block people that clearly haven’t read my profile or have read it and ignore what it says. I haven’t taken the time to write a profile for people not to even bother to read it. I mean come on people, you want to fuck me but can’t even take a few minutes to read my profile. I clearly state if your message is boring, your profile empty or you are not verified by a meet I will delete your message. So if I delete your message it’s because of one of those reasons. Also if anyone is under my height restrictions as again it’s clear my profile hasn’t been read "
We consider ourselves to be polite and well mannered people, the old school, we've tried the polite approach with the 'thanks but no thanks replies, only to be bombarded with the 'why not, what's up with me' or 'why won't you meet me' replies which then generally get more abusive which then leaves us with no alternative but to block them? You're right when you mention about people clearly not having read the profile, no different for us, again the block button is hit! Its not nice having to block people, but sometimes you're left with no alternative? The idea of a one stop shop 'no thanks' button is a great suggestion, preferably with an instant block facility with it should you wish to use it? |
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"I reply to messages I get with a polite no thanks you are not my type. I would never just ignore or block someone.
I do delete messages or block people that clearly haven’t read my profile or have read it and ignore what it says. I haven’t taken the time to write a profile for people not to even bother to read it. I mean come on people, you want to fuck me but can’t even take a few minutes to read my profile. I clearly state if your message is boring, your profile empty or you are not verified by a meet I will delete your message. So if I delete your message it’s because of one of those reasons. Also if anyone is under my height restrictions as again it’s clear my profile hasn’t been read "
Are you aware that if you change your filters at any point in the future all the people you have replied to will not be filtered out and can still message you as you have spoken to them in the past?
This is one reason people do not reply to messages as it stops filters working correctly in the future. |
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