FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Do you expect to play
Do you expect to play
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As a couple , we attend chameleons quite regularly . We don’t go there expecting to play, some of our best nights have been sitting in the smoking area chatting away until the early hours of the morning .
We keep a look on the forums and have noticed a lot of mainly single guys ( not judging) moan about how expensive the clubs are and how not much action at certain clubs and so on .
Our question is .... how many of us on here actually go to clubs expecting to get something out of it ? Or how many of us go expecting a good night out away from normal life ?
Xx |
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I always go for the socialising & laughs, any play is a bonus.
I'm sure a lot think if you've paid you're entrance you are in some way guaranteed some play or at least to see someone else playing. |
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The only time I’ve ‘expected’ play in a club, was a visit quite recently, when a couple had messaged me a few days before, and asked to meet me there. It didn’t work out on the night, as, although we did meet up, and all got on well, they went off and chose another guy to play with.
Otherwise, I’ve always gone with an open mind to any possibility, and just hoped to find friendly people to spend some time with. Regular forum readers will know my experiences and thoughts about being a single guy in clubs (click my green arrow if you don’t), and even after 15 visits to various different clubs, I still feel them a source of frustration and disappointment.
Just to reiterate; I’ve never expected sex just because I’ve paid my entry/membership fee  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always go for the socialising & laughs, any play is a bonus.
I'm sure a lot think if you've paid you're entrance you are in some way guaranteed some play or at least to see someone else playing. "
This ! We go for time away from normal life, if we play we play, if we don’t then we’ve had a good night away from reality |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
I never go to a club with any expectations other than to hopefully meet like minded people & have a fun night.
I have found though, as a single female, that some people (single males & couples) certainly do have an expectation that by paying their entry free they will get to play.
I've had people in the past tell me that I shouldn't be there if I'm not going to play, as if I'm some sort of commodity. |
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I think, as a couple, it's easier, as if you don't click with anyone else you can always play together.
For me, if we go, I like to play, but it's no big loss if we don't.
We like to make friends, have a giggle, and relax with like-minded people....but we do hope to gel with someone enough to play.  |
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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
"As a couple , we attend chameleons quite regularly . We don’t go there expecting to play, some of our best nights have been sitting in the smoking area chatting away until the early hours of the morning .
We keep a look on the forums and have noticed a lot of mainly single guys ( not judging) moan about how expensive the clubs are and how not much action at certain clubs and so on .
Our question is .... how many of us on here actually go to clubs expecting to get something out of it ? Or how many of us go expecting a good night out away from normal life ?
Xx"
I go to a club trying to not expect anything set in stone. My philosophy is, if nobody wants to even speak to me, as long as there is a jacuzzi or a sauna for me to get naked and relax, I’m happy. I’ve had a lovely time with swinger couples whom I haven’t even touched, during social meets and house parties, so I hope I am not viewed as ‘being after the booty’. The thing is, how to recognise the signs that there are couples who are interested even in a chat? I dread the thought of approaching people who are already involved in a conversation or people whose body language and face does not betray flirting.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I go with a friend to chams.. Not often. But only go with definite naked jacuzzi expectation..
Anything after that well if it happens great if it Doesn't I've had my jacuzzi x lol
I've learnt if you expect you don't get |
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We never have an expectation of playing. We go to a club, as has been said, to socialise and chat to like minded people. If we meet someone and decide to play then great, if not then it's not an issue as it's just not worked out that night.
Sometimes we've just had sex together, that satisfies out exhibitionist side  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As a couple , we attend chameleons quite regularly . We don’t go there expecting to play, some of our best nights have been sitting in the smoking area chatting away until the early hours of the morning .
We keep a look on the forums and have noticed a lot of mainly single guys ( not judging) moan about how expensive the clubs are and how not much action at certain clubs and so on .
Our question is .... how many of us on here actually go to clubs expecting to get something out of it ? Or how many of us go expecting a good night out away from normal life ?
Xx
I go to a club trying to not expect anything set in stone. My philosophy is, if nobody wants to even speak to me, as long as there is a jacuzzi or a sauna for me to get naked and relax, I’m happy. I’ve had a lovely time with swinger couples whom I haven’t even touched, during social meets and house parties, so I hope I am not viewed as ‘being after the booty’. The thing is, how to recognise the signs that there are couples who are interested even in a chat? I dread the thought of approaching people who are already involved in a conversation or people whose body language and face does not betray flirting.
"
For us , we’ll chat to absolutely anyone regardless of wether we’d play with you or not . We’ve sat all night chatting to couples, singles, groups yet wouldn’t of and didnt play with any of them. Swapping stories and general adult chat gives us that break from normality |
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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
"As a couple , we attend chameleons quite regularly . We don’t go there expecting to play, some of our best nights have been sitting in the smoking area chatting away until the early hours of the morning .
We keep a look on the forums and have noticed a lot of mainly single guys ( not judging) moan about how expensive the clubs are and how not much action at certain clubs and so on .
Our question is .... how many of us on here actually go to clubs expecting to get something out of it ? Or how many of us go expecting a good night out away from normal life ?
Xx
I go to a club trying to not expect anything set in stone. My philosophy is, if nobody wants to even speak to me, as long as there is a jacuzzi or a sauna for me to get naked and relax, I’m happy. I’ve had a lovely time with swinger couples whom I haven’t even touched, during social meets and house parties, so I hope I am not viewed as ‘being after the booty’. The thing is, how to recognise the signs that there are couples who are interested even in a chat? I dread the thought of approaching people who are already involved in a conversation or people whose body language and face does not betray flirting.
For us , we’ll chat to absolutely anyone regardless of wether we’d play with you or not . We’ve sat all night chatting to couples, singles, groups yet wouldn’t of and didnt play with any of them. Swapping stories and general adult chat gives us that break from normality "
I second that; back in January, my other half and I actually met up with the married couple of my profile photo. It was a purely platonic night for drinks and socialising. No sex involved and it was a lovely night. If I (excuse the philistine term) ‘scored’ with 10 couples in a club, and I never met them again, i would be left with a feeling of ‘losing out’. If I met one couple, without sex, and we parted ways having liked each other’s company, I would feel like I have gained. |
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By *ebwizMan
over a year ago
Clevedon |
We go, not so often anymore and have played but have chatted and play together. Wife has not played with others for a while now but we are happy to watch and be watched or in a couples room. |
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By *elnkazCouple
over a year ago
cheshire |
90% ish of swinging is the social side. We go with no expectations of play we go to have a laugh play pool jacuzzi and chill with like minded people i mean where else can you play pool in sexy lingerie?? We do get single guys asking about rules and i will always say no matter how much you pay to go in a club.never go with expectations of play
We have had some great nights when not expectimg play and it did happen
.k |
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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago
norwich |
It's always when I don't expect it and plan a night of chatting that the unexpected happens and I have a mind blowing night xx
Last Friday, two hot men,one room and greedy me in the middle.
One hour later two women , one room and me being used as a sex toy !!.
Another hour later and an all in orgy ! One of my fav nights ever xx |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
We like going to clubs to socialise and have a laugh but generally don't like to play in them, it’s not very intimate and the action feels a bit fake - cliquey exhibitionist. We sometimes end up in a private room though, usually when Mrs has got d*unk , lost all her inhibitions and just requested sex from a complete stranger |
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We've been to around 8 clubs across the UK spanning 5 years and haven't played once.
We love the atmosphere, the eroticness, the sexy people, exhibitionism,voyeurism etc.
If we go to abfabs it's because we want to swim, xtasia have a little boogie and explore the rooms and finish the night in the hot tub. Or chameleons it'll be because we want to spend the night in the hot tub(which we love,great for soothing muscles) |
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"As a couple , we attend chameleons quite regularly . We don’t go there expecting to play, some of our best nights have been sitting in the smoking area chatting away until the early hours of the morning .
We keep a look on the forums and have noticed a lot of mainly single guys ( not judging) moan about how expensive the clubs are and how not much action at certain clubs and so on .
Our question is .... how many of us on here actually go to clubs expecting to get something out of it ? Or how many of us go expecting a good night out away from normal life ?
Xx"
I never expect play... and sometimes I go when I know it wont happen.. I love Clubs for the social side x |
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We are about to do our 2nd ever club visit which is a social party night (but people can play if the want). Hopefully we find some playmates, if not we have each other.
Personally speaking we wouldn't see the point of attending a club if we only planned on socialising. Its just to far a journey for us. Might be different if a club was local though. |
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When we go to Chams it’s usually with the intention of playing but sometimes it just never happens (which has been few and far between,, lol)
Sometimes we’ve been and played for most of the night and it’s been an ok night, sometimes we’ve been and hardly played or not played at all and it’s been a brilliant night just chilling and chatting, |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
i have always gone to clubs with an open mind and no expectations... i am paying for the facilities a club has and nothing more......
but yes it does make me giggle a bit seeing brooding single men patrolling all the club play areas and complaining to other single guys that nothing is happening...
to which my standard answer is "well have you actually bothered trying to chat to couples rather than wondering around like a lost lamb!" |
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We go to Chams regularly and always enjoy ourselves whether we play with others or not. Like many say, it's about escaping day to day life and spending time with like minded people. It's the perfect place to catch up with friends
Having said that we rarely leave without having been involved in a great jacuzzi party. |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"As a couple , we attend chameleons quite regularly . We don’t go there expecting to play, some of our best nights have been sitting in the smoking area chatting away until the early hours of the morning .
We keep a look on the forums and have noticed a lot of mainly single guys ( not judging) moan about how expensive the clubs are and how not much action at certain clubs and so on .
Our question is .... how many of us on here actually go to clubs expecting to get something out of it ? Or how many of us go expecting a good night out away from normal life ?
Xx"
. I am a member at OP4F I tend to go on a Friday night as it’s the best time in terms of my working week.I go with the expectation of having a good night out , meeting and socialise with like minded people and if I am fortunate enough to have some adult fun with a lady or a couple then I consider it a bonus.No Expectations No Disappointment |
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By *plpxp2Couple
over a year ago
Middlesbrough |
We only go to clubs that have a money back guarantee of your money back if you don't play 
Seriously had some brilliant visits to clubs that haven't involved any play. As other have said sharing a space with like minded others and an environment where our world is normal is a great escape from reality. We never go expecting to play. |
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I have never been to a club but want to go. Want to feel what it’s like being naked with other people you don’t know. I just need to get the confidence to go and if I do, I would not be expected anything to happen. |
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We tend to avoid Saturdays (couples nights) as we find most seem to just go there for a drink and a chat.
Friday’s are usually the better nights as the mix is far more varied.
That said, we too won’t just play for the sake of it . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We go just to have a night away from normal life. We go in for a good night  and always said if any "action" happened bonus but its not the top of our agenda.
I (Twisted) attend clubs just for a night out as I feel safer in a swinger club then I do at a normal nightclub.... so i've always gone in with the expectation of a night out good time and have a laugh
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By *OXO2018Couple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
I expect to play with my partner, but if others wanna join in that's ok as well.
Going with expectations just leads to potential disappointment in our experience.
We also don't do prearranged unless we have meet before. |
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I never been to a club before. I would like to meet a nice guy. But is Fridays better? I definitely don't expect anything to happen especially on my first visit but contacts would be helpful. Are most people friendly or it's the traditional British reserved approach? |
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"For us , we’ll chat to absolutely anyone regardless of wether we’d play with you or not . We’ve sat all night chatting to couples, singles, groups yet wouldn’t of and didnt play with any of them. Swapping stories and general adult chat gives us that break from normality "
We are exactly the same. Never any expectation of playing, if we fancy it we have each other and absolutely love the social side |
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"We go just to have a night away from normal life. We go in for a good night and always said if any "action" happened bonus but its not the top of our agenda.
I (Twisted) attend clubs just for a night out as I feel safer in a swinger club then I do at a normal nightclub.... so i've always gone in with the expectation of a night out good time and have a laugh
"
P says the same about safety at swinger clubs compared to nightclubs. So it becomes a win-win situation for us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a couple , we attend chameleons quite regularly . We don’t go there expecting to play, some of our best nights have been sitting in the smoking area chatting away until the early hours of the morning .
We keep a look on the forums and have noticed a lot of mainly single guys ( not judging) moan about how expensive the clubs are and how not much action at certain clubs and so on .
Our question is .... how many of us on here actually go to clubs expecting to get something out of it ? Or how many of us go expecting a good night out away from normal life ?
Xx"
hey this question gets asked a lot and the single guy gets battered for it a lot the reality is you yourselves don't get all ready to go to a club pay £30/40 to get in just to sit in the smoking area and neither do single guys who pay more than you, please stop putting single guys down I'm not a moaner i go pay the money and don't expect anything but although i don't moan i feel hard done by if success is not the end result    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I expect to play. Otherwise why would I go.
Although I'm not pissy about it if I don't.
I went to a club last night, 3 couples and a couple of single guys and me. I just didn't feel the right energy with any of them so didn't play.
Came home and pleasured myself.
Its the way it is sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've yet to play in a club but visit them regularly each to their own some like just watching or playing with their partners in front of people I dont think should ever go to expect to play |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Let’s not kid ourselves there are 2 types of people in clubs...
A) those that go to socialise, hang out and treat it like the local pub, know all the regulars etc etc
B) those that go to get the freak on and play
We are B, we can go elsewhere to see real friends. Club friends have a different motive... |
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Go for the social, have made some wonderful friends at a club I attend.
Have not attended for a while but its a great escape from normality and a hard weeks work chatting and laughing in their company.
I never go expecting anything else if something happens it happens, if it does not I will still always have had an enjoyable evening. |
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"Agreed! Haha!
We do expect to play tbh, if we wanted a social Friday night we could go to the pub with friends... Contraversial stance maybe, but just my opinion
H x"
My thoughts exactly, when I'm there im there to play
Saying that, I've only ever been clubbing twice and both times were at chams. I try to make a few links before I go so at least something's lined up and most times it works but even that's not guaranteed. I've spoken to some women to morning of the party, only for them to walk straight pass me at the club lolol I'm not tripping though, can't stress about a fish when I'm still in the sea fishing lol and yes the social side is good as well, I love met some fun people but I'd still feel some type of way if I didn't get any play at all.. but thankfully that wasn't the case |
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"Agreed! Haha!
We do expect to play tbh, if we wanted a social Friday night we could go to the pub with friends... Contraversial stance maybe, but just my opinion
H x
My thoughts exactly, when I'm there im there to play
Saying that, I've only ever been clubbing twice and both times were at chams. I try to make a few links before I go so at least something's lined up and most times it works but even that's not guaranteed. I've spoken to some women to morning of the party, only for them to walk straight pass me at the club lolol I'm not tripping though, can't stress about a fish when I'm still in the sea fishing lol and yes the social side is good as well, I love met some fun people but I'd still feel some type of way if I didn't get any play at all.. but thankfully that wasn't the case "
** The morning
*** I've met some |
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