FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Looking for someone to take me to a club for the first time
Looking for someone to take me to a club for the first time
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"Guess so... "
Or you could go to any club & ask for a guided tour, as a newbie you should be shown around.
I know @ Cupids (where we host) Bruce insists that all newbies are given a guided tour & if you're lucky enough to get the main man showing you around it's a laugh a minute with words of wisdom thrown in for good measure.
Once Bruce's guided tour is over with you will feel super comfortable in the club with no need for someone to show you the ropes.
Happy swinging x |
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"Guess so...
Or you could go to any club & ask for a guided tour, as a newbie you should be shown around.
I know @ Cupids (where we host) Bruce insists that all newbies are given a guided tour & if you're lucky enough to get the main man showing you around it's a laugh a minute with words of wisdom thrown in for good measure.
Once Bruce's guided tour is over with you will feel super comfortable in the club with no need for someone to show you the ropes.
Happy swinging x"
Agree with this. It's not up to others to hold your hand. Go to a reputable club like cupids, have the tour, talk to people and be respectable. Highly unlikely you will get anyone offering to take you. |
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By *eenb4Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Never have I read such unhelpful advice other than the couple who host the club. I too have been building up the courage to attend a club and can honestly say the responses have knock my confidence and I'm not from the area. Shame.. |
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Why is this so unhelpful?
You go on your own. It's a social event, you talk to people. You check out the rules beforehand. Once you're at the club, you say you're new and they give you a tour. Unfortunately you're not going to get someone willing to take you.
I've just said exactly the same thing as the people above. It's the honest truth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never have I read such unhelpful advice other than the couple who host the club. I too have been building up the courage to attend a club and can honestly say the responses have knock my confidence and I'm not from the area. Shame.. "
I attended my first club by myself and have to admit I was a little nervous. However, I mentioned it on arrival and was made to feel really welcome, given the full guided tour, was introduced to some of the regulars. People started chatting to me, I also put in the effort to chat to others and a great evening was had.
I now attend on a relatively regular basis, still by myself and always have a great time... |
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"Never have I read such unhelpful advice other than the couple who host the club. I too have been building up the courage to attend a club and can honestly say the responses have knock my confidence and I'm not from the area. Shame.. "
So would you rather people said hold out for someone to hold your hand? It would be giving people false hope.
What advise do you want - honest helpful or bullshit? |
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"Never have I read such unhelpful advice other than the couple who host the club. I too have been building up the courage to attend a club and can honestly say the responses have knock my confidence and I'm not from the area. Shame.. "
Pick a pub you've not been to before, go in, have a pint, and chat with whoever will speak to you. This is the same as visiting a swingers' club. The difference being, that single guys are limited to certain nights/events, you will pay a gender-biased premium for entry, people will be wandering around in various states of undress, some people will be having sex in many different ways, and you may even be fortunate enough to be invited to join someone yourself. At the very least, you will have bragging rights when you get back to work  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me and my mr have took a few newbies along with us as a bit of support not to play ,just to make them feel comfy waking in we've remained friends with a good few ,hope you find someone that offers x |
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"Never have I read such unhelpful advice other than the couple who host the club. I too have been building up the courage to attend a club and can honestly say the responses have knock my confidence and I'm not from the area. Shame..
Pick a pub you've not been to before, go in, have a pint, and chat with whoever will speak to you. This is the same as visiting a swingers' club. The difference being, that single guys are limited to certain nights/events, you will pay a gender-biased premium for entry, people will be wandering around in various states of undress, some people will be having sex in many different ways, and you may even be fortunate enough to be invited to join someone yourself. At the very least, you will have bragging rights when you get back to work "
In many ways it’s easier to start a conversation in a swingers club than a pub as most are there for the same reason and certainly all have a shared interest. |
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"Never have I read such unhelpful advice other than the couple who host the club. I too have been building up the courage to attend a club and can honestly say the responses have knock my confidence and I'm not from the area. Shame.. "
Find a club you like the look of.
Read the reviews.
Message the club, talk to them, tell them it's your first ever club visit.
Ask them questions, get answers.
Attend.
You'll be made welcome, probably get a guided tour, be told the rules and may eleven get introduced to a few people.
But first, you've got to do something. No one will do it for you. They'll facilitate it, the rest is up to you.
Was that more helpful? |
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"Never have I read such unhelpful advice other than the couple who host the club. I too have been building up the courage to attend a club and can honestly say the responses have knock my confidence and I'm not from the area. Shame..
Find a club you like the look of.
Read the reviews.
Message the club, talk to them, tell them it's your first ever club visit.
Ask them questions, get answers.
Attend.
You'll be made welcome, probably get a guided tour, be told the rules and may even get introduced to a few people.
But first, you've got to do something. No one will do it for you. They'll facilitate it, the rest is up to you.
Was that more helpful? "
*authors edit  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never have I read such unhelpful advice other than the couple who host the club. I too have been building up the courage to attend a club and can honestly say the responses have knock my confidence and I'm not from the area. Shame..
I attended my first club by myself and have to admit I was a little nervous. However, I mentioned it on arrival and was made to feel really welcome, given the full guided tour, was introduced to some of the regulars. People started chatting to me, I also put in the effort to chat to others and a great evening was had.
I now attend on a relatively regular basis, still by myself and always have a great time..."
I'm chicken shit and I've been to clubs so I understand a guy's nerves.
I imagine many guys know they are not guaranteed sex so hope that if they go with a woman, they are? |
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"Never have I read such unhelpful advice other than the couple who host the club. I too have been building up the courage to attend a club and can honestly say the responses have knock my confidence and I'm not from the area. Shame..
Pick a pub you've not been to before, go in, have a pint, and chat with whoever will speak to you. This is the same as visiting a swingers' club. The difference being, that single guys are limited to certain nights/events, you will pay a gender-biased premium for entry, people will be wandering around in various states of undress, some people will be having sex in many different ways, and you may even be fortunate enough to be invited to join someone yourself. At the very least, you will have bragging rights when you get back to work
In many ways it’s easier to start a conversation in a swingers club than a pub as most are there for the same reason and certainly all have a shared interest."
This is true, and there will always be plenty of other single guys in a swingers' club, only to happy for someone to chat with  |
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"Never have I read such unhelpful advice other than the couple who host the club. I too have been building up the courage to attend a club and can honestly say the responses have knock my confidence and I'm not from the area. Shame..
I attended my first club by myself and have to admit I was a little nervous. However, I mentioned it on arrival and was made to feel really welcome, given the full guided tour, was introduced to some of the regulars. People started chatting to me, I also put in the effort to chat to others and a great evening was had.
I now attend on a relatively regular basis, still by myself and always have a great time...
I'm chicken shit and I've been to clubs so I understand a guy's nerves.
I imagine many guys know they are not guaranteed sex so hope that if they go with a woman, they are? "
Yes, "break my club virginity" so often reads like "take a chance on a total stranger who might be an utter knob, might misbehave and be associated with you, and oh yes of course you're supposed to have sex with them".
Why would any woman in her right mind take anyone up on that? |
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"Never have I read such unhelpful advice other than the couple who host the club. I too have been building up the courage to attend a club and can honestly say the responses have knock my confidence and I'm not from the area. Shame..
I attended my first club by myself and have to admit I was a little nervous. However, I mentioned it on arrival and was made to feel really welcome, given the full guided tour, was introduced to some of the regulars. People started chatting to me, I also put in the effort to chat to others and a great evening was had.
I now attend on a relatively regular basis, still by myself and always have a great time...
I'm chicken shit and I've been to clubs so I understand a guy's nerves.
I imagine many guys know they are not guaranteed sex so hope that if they go with a woman, they are?
Yes, "break my club virginity" so often reads like "take a chance on a total stranger who might be an utter knob, might misbehave and be associated with you, and oh yes of course you're supposed to have sex with them".
Why would any woman in her right mind take anyone up on that?"
Exactly this.
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Two reasons why this isn't going to work.
1. Most women will think this is a thinly disguised attempt to get someone to have sex with them.
2. Most women will not find the "I'm too nervous to go to a club on my own, please hold me hand" position attractive.
The simple solution for guys who want someone to go to a club with them is to buddy up with similar guys and go together. There you are. Problem solved. |
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"Two reasons why this isn't going to work.
1. Most women will think this is a thinly disguised attempt to get someone to have sex with them.
2. Most women will not find the "I'm too nervous to go to a club on my own, please hold me hand" position attractive.
The simple solution for guys who want someone to go to a club with them is to buddy up with similar guys and go together. There you are. Problem solved. "
Such a simple solution.. |
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"Two reasons why this isn't going to work.
1. Most women will think this is a thinly disguised attempt to get someone to have sex with them.
2. Most women will not find the "I'm too nervous to go to a club on my own, please hold me hand" position attractive.
The simple solution for guys who want someone to go to a club with them is to buddy up with similar guys and go together. There you are. Problem solved.
Such a simple solution.. "
but #nohomo |
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I’ve taken people along a couple of times but It’s really awkward in a couple of ways. I know LOTS of people so I prefer to go on my own to chat to friends and I’d feel awkward if the person I took was just stood there like a spare part.
To be fair the main bloke I took didn’t ask me for sex, so that was a bonus oh he had of done or I’d wanted to play with someone else That would have been weird too.
The more you go the more it’s like your local, or the youth club from your teenage days just with sex instead of heavy petting lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go to a social event or newbie event
One at xstasia Wednesday night in their bar rather than their club may ease you in make friends who will no doubt be happy to keep you in the loop when at the club next ( if you’re not a creep)
Don't be creepy about it puts women/couples off doing socials as most guys think it’s a shag rather than a good deed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Two reasons why this isn't going to work.
1. Most women will think this is a thinly disguised attempt to get someone to have sex with them.
2. Most women will not find the "I'm too nervous to go to a club on my own, please hold me hand" position attractive.
The simple solution for guys who want someone to go to a club with them is to buddy up with similar guys and go together. There you are. Problem solved. "
Agreed and in our experience of being in clubs is if they do it usually does not end Well! In reality it usually go's one of two ways both not very great for who they are going with.
Where as ladies going with a couple or experienced lady works funny that |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Do men think they are going to walk straight into an orgy, reality it's bar at most, chat, chill or Potter round  "
One guy actually asked me if he can just go in and start having sex with whoever he wanted to.  |
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"Do men think they are going to walk straight into an orgy, reality it's bar at most, chat, chill or Potter round
One guy actually asked me if he can just go in and start having sex with whoever he wanted to. "
I've heard of guys in clubs getting outraged because women weren't putting out to them. They've paid their entrance fee!
And you're in, mate, you got what you paid for |
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By *izzy69Man
over a year ago
London |
Take it easy on the guy. He's given you an inch and you've taken six!
There is some good advice provided here OP (hidden among all the unnecssary talking down) and, may I suggest OP, you thank them and state your conclusion with regards to your way forward.
Why have forums on Fab become a place for everyone to patronise or scoff at the OP whenever someone asks for advice or opinion? |
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"Take it easy on the guy. He's given you an inch and you've taken six!
There is some good advice provided here OP (hidden among all the unnecssary talking down) and, may I suggest OP, you thank them and state your conclusion with regards to your way forward.
Why have forums on Fab become a place for everyone to patronise or scoff at the OP whenever someone asks for advice or opinion?"
The advice is in the first few posts, and the wider issue is then discussed. |
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"Do men think they are going to walk straight into an orgy, reality it's bar at most, chat, chill or Potter round
One guy actually asked me if he can just go in and start having sex with whoever he wanted to.
I've heard of guys in clubs getting outraged because women weren't putting out to them. They've paid their entrance fee!
And you're in, mate, you got what you paid for "
They think it's an all inclusive brothel  |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Take it easy on the guy. He's given you an inch and you've taken six!
There is some good advice provided here OP (hidden among all the unnecssary talking down) and, may I suggest OP, you thank them and state your conclusion with regards to your way forward.
Why have forums on Fab become a place for everyone to patronise or scoff at the OP whenever someone asks for advice or opinion?"
Do you know how often I get asked to 'hold someone's hand' and take them to a club? They are fully grown adults, they need to grow some balls and go on their own. |
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"Take it easy on the guy. He's given you an inch and you've taken six!
There is some good advice provided here OP (hidden among all the unnecssary talking down) and, may I suggest OP, you thank them and state your conclusion with regards to your way forward.
Why have forums on Fab become a place for everyone to patronise or scoff at the OP whenever someone asks for advice or opinion?
Do you know how often I get asked to 'hold someone's hand' and take them to a club? They are fully grown adults, they need to grow some balls and go on their own. "
Maybe both the advice, and the "this is why it's an issue" posts, will make people think twice before being annoying about it. Maybe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I first went to a club I knew no one at all . I went on my own and had a tour with another couple. As newbies we ended up chatting and then had a play together. Fast forward a few years with a couple of breaks and I still keep in touch with them even though they're no longer on the scene . She loves to hear my swinging antics. Bite the bullet and go for it .I've never looked back and have met some wonderful people at different club's and parties.  |
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"Do men think they are going to walk straight into an orgy, reality it's bar at most, chat, chill or Potter round
One guy actually asked me if he can just go in and start having sex with whoever he wanted to. "
There a quite a few of the same mindset. They get confused between a swingers club & a sex club |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do men think they are going to walk straight into an orgy, reality it's bar at most, chat, chill or Potter round
One guy actually asked me if he can just go in and start having sex with whoever he wanted to.
There a quite a few of the same mindset. They get confused between a swingers club & a sex club "
I think you are right there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do men think they are going to walk straight into an orgy, reality it's bar at most, chat, chill or Potter round
One guy actually asked me if he can just go in and start having sex with whoever he wanted to.
There a quite a few of the same mindset. They get confused between a swingers club & a sex club "
What's a sex club ? X |
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"Do men think they are going to walk straight into an orgy, reality it's bar at most, chat, chill or Potter round
One guy actually asked me if he can just go in and start having sex with whoever he wanted to.
There a quite a few of the same mindset. They get confused between a swingers club & a sex club
What's a sex club ? X"
Nothing like the good establishments we go to x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do men think they are going to walk straight into an orgy, reality it's bar at most, chat, chill or Potter round
One guy actually asked me if he can just go in and start having sex with whoever he wanted to.
There a quite a few of the same mindset. They get confused between a swingers club & a sex club
What's a sex club ? X
Nothing like the good establishments we go to x"
Absolutely x  |
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First club I went to was chams, was very nervous, didn’t do anything really other than explore the place (it’s a maze in there), enjoy the jacuzzi and just chill out
Had no expectations for a first visit in terms of playing and that’s the best way to be |
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