FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Single Guys in clubs
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"Mostly single men attend the clubs I go to. On an average night I have seen about 12 men and 4 women. Sometimes no women at all. It really is hit and miss some nights but everyone is super polite. Sometimes the husbands will share their wives and leave the play room door open, but it was always up to the wife to make the decision regarding who she wanted and what her particular tastes were. One night was particularly busy and we had to give her more room because there was too much action going on and so much body heat, which can be a little overwhelming sometimes if too many people are allowed into one of the play rooms. The trick was to meet and chat with them in the jacuzzi, so that a common interest in each other had been formed, and they would either invite you to go up to one of the play rooms with them, or the men would just follow them up the stairs (but not too fast behind them). The other play rooms usually have their doors closed which means 'do not disturb' as there are couples who attend, just to use a private room (cheaper than paying for a hotel night). The clubs I go to partly function as saunas and health spas, but everyone knows what to really expect inside. e.g. At Bournemouth's Temptations health spa, customers remove all clothes and are given a towel and locker key. The downstairs has the usual spa facilities (sauna, steam room, massage room, jacuzzi, showers, and snack lounge) and upstairs there is a large 3 bedded play room with porn videos playing on a large projector screen, toilets, and 3 more play rooms with dimmed lighting, large black beds and play swings etc). There are many pleasant friendships to be made even if you don't strike lucky, and there are special days with themed events e.g. gay, straight, Bi, TV, TS, but quite a few single bi curious guys have fun on the regular days when there are no girls in. This website is handy because you can find out if someone is attending a club on a certain day, or arrange to meet them there. Otherwise it really is hit and miss, but it does make a nice surprise when you spend a quiet hour at the sauna and just as you are about to call it a day, you hear the door chime and 5 beautiful girls climb in and join you in the jacazzu. " I found this really helpful aa nervous to go to club on own | |||
"I suppose it depends on the man and the other people present. My last club visit, I was at the bar handing in my two cans of beer and a couple came and stood next to me to do the same. I looked at said simply 'good evening' the response - she laughed, and he said 'we don't play with old men save your fucking breath' I stared and left and I am never going clubbing again on my own ! Unusual ? dunno but I felt like shit and it is not happening again, so guys beware !" Not a remotely unusual experience. | |||
"I suppose it depends on the man and the other people present. My last club visit, I was at the bar handing in my two cans of beer and a couple came and stood next to me to do the same. I looked at said simply 'good evening' the response - she laughed, and he said 'we don't play with old men save your fucking breath' I stared and left and I am never going clubbing again on my own ! Unusual ? dunno but I felt like shit and it is not happening again, so guys beware !" Bloody charming! That's so uncalled for We mostly have really positive experiences around single guys at Chams. Lots of chat even if nothing happens. Please don't let that one awful experience put you off Mrs xx | |||
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"I suppose it depends on the man and the other people present. My last club visit, I was at the bar handing in my two cans of beer and a couple came and stood next to me to do the same. I looked at said simply 'good evening' the response - she laughed, and he said 'we don't play with old men save your fucking breath' I stared and left and I am never going clubbing again on my own ! Unusual ? dunno but I felt like shit and it is not happening again, so guys beware !" Shocking behaviour and we only hope it doesnt put you off going again. It must be such a complex to have, believing everyone who simply says hi wants to jump your bones lol | |||
"I suppose it depends on the man and the other people present. My last club visit, I was at the bar handing in my two cans of beer and a couple came and stood next to me to do the same. I looked at said simply 'good evening' the response - she laughed, and he said 'we don't play with old men save your fucking breath' I stared and left and I am never going clubbing again on my own ! Unusual ? dunno but I felt like shit and it is not happening again, so guys beware !" That’s disgusting behaviour. The worst thing is I’ve seen it happen in a particular club where the couple knew the owner and pranced about pretending they were “elite” members. And it was the female that was the issue. She tried to talk about how they knew everyone that attended and slagged off certain individuals. As my hubby would say “complete fucking rockets” (it’s a Scottish saying I think) lol | |||
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"I had my first visit to a club last week and it's about just mixing correctly. I spoke to a few couples and they were on the whole polite back. As in life in a large group of people you are going to get the odd one or two that are just not your cup of tea but don't let if put you off. I guess if your walking around cock in hand not talking you are going to look a wanker. I didn't go expecting anything, luckily I did meet up with an amazing couple so patience, politeness and being aware of signals is key. " | |||
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"I would like to understand what this whole wanking zombie thing is about. I love voyeurism. Correct me if I’m wrong, but in a swingers club it should be ok to watch and wank right? " Some clubs have open rooms (anyone can enter) and some have private (the door can be locked from the inside). When playing in the open room club you still have to abide by the rules of those playing. We have seen up to 15 guys in one room all hoping to get a bit of action on busy nights. ( this was in a Spanish club). This can be off putting if you have never experienced it before. Especially in the confines of a small room. That and being followed about. It does and will happen but 99% of the guys if you tell them no thanks they will leave you alone. | |||
"I suppose it depends on the man and the other people present. My last club visit, I was at the bar handing in my two cans of beer and a couple came and stood next to me to do the same. I looked at said simply 'good evening' the response - she laughed, and he said 'we don't play with old men save your fucking breath' I stared and left and I am never going clubbing again on my own ! Unusual ? dunno but I felt like shit and it is not happening again, so guys beware !" That’s shocking! But I’ve had negative experiences too - don’t let it put you off. There’s two types of single guys: creepy dicks and club goers. The first are a pain and I’ve had a few clashes. Invading Personal space and inappropriate behaviour isn’t acceptable. They can quickly ruin a room play as they move in uninvited!!!! Those SMS who follow rules, chat to others and enjoy the scene tend to do well. | |||
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"If they are just wandering around staring and not talking, worst of all wanking, then they can be looked at in a not so positive light. But in general, no. I've had lots of positive experience in clubs as a single guy " Exactly this. Saved me tip-tapping away on my keypad lol | |||
"I suppose it depends on the man and the other people present. My last club visit, I was at the bar handing in my two cans of beer and a couple came and stood next to me to do the same. I looked at said simply 'good evening' the response - she laughed, and he said 'we don't play with old men save your fucking breath' I stared and left and I am never going clubbing again on my own ! Unusual ? dunno but I felt like shit and it is not happening again, so guys beware !" I guess you can find rude, unpleasant people in all sorts of places, you don't have to go to a club. That is just pure ignorance... | |||
"I suppose it depends on the man and the other people present. My last club visit, I was at the bar handing in my two cans of beer and a couple came and stood next to me to do the same. I looked at said simply 'good evening' the response - she laughed, and he said 'we don't play with old men save your fucking breath' I stared and left and I am never going clubbing again on my own ! Unusual ? dunno but I felt like shit and it is not happening again, so guys beware !" That is horrible and there is absolutely no need for it. Swinger clubs are our favourite (these days pretty much only) form of swinging. We tend to find that most guys are scared shitless of saying hello. I suppose when I read that I can understand why. We actually welcome guys saying hello and are happy to chat even if Mrs doesn't fancy him. Sometimes it will go further other times not. There is no justification for that kind of behaviour and we hope you will be able to put it behind you and go to a club again. | |||
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"I suppose it depends on the man and the other people present. My last club visit, I was at the bar handing in my two cans of beer and a couple came and stood next to me to do the same. I looked at said simply 'good evening' the response - she laughed, and he said 'we don't play with old men save your fucking breath' That’s awful !!! I stared and left and I am never going clubbing again on my own ! Unusual ? dunno but I felt like shit and it is not happening again, so guys beware !" | |||
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"I would like to understand what this whole wanking zombie thing is about. I love voyeurism. Correct me if I’m wrong, but in a swingers club it should be ok to watch and wank right? " One or two guys watching from 6 foot away is fine. Several guys gawping at a couple , drooling and wanking standing in splashing distance is off putting. | |||
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"I am an equally oppotunity gobshite and i'll go up an say hello to everyone.... hello is just that.... hello! if they infer more from that, thats on them! not everyone want to play with singles... but i am big enough and adult enough in that if i am interested in playing with then, i'll open my mouth and ask! until then.... there is way too much assuming that goes on.... hello's are friendly... if you don't want to be friendly back, then i am sure you will be bitten by something later in life... think of that as the karma! " This! Any hello will be reciprocated from us. We dont assume anything other than a chat from it and have no issues going our own way, whether we see you again or not. Socialising is never bad | |||
"I would like to understand what this whole wanking zombie thing is about. I love voyeurism. Correct me if I’m wrong, but in a swingers club it should be ok to watch and wank right? " Some people like to be watched, some don't, best course of action is to ask. What is really off-putting isn't so much the wanking, it's the ones that follow you round the club, not saying a word, following you into rooms and crowding you, touching without having asked, or sitting close and wanking, especially if they have their locker key around their wanking wrist, jingling away like a budgies bell. | |||
"We like clubs with respectful single guys, we just don't like the ones who feel entitled to join in without even speaking, just because they paid £25 admission!" so glad it's not just me | |||
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"We have often said it must be really difficult for single guys at clubs as different couples want different things. Our take on it is as follows. If clubs have a night when single guys are allowed in, then it is fair to assume that the couples may be interested in playing with them. However, there always needs to be an attraction for us to let a guy join us-and this will always start with a polite conversation in the bar or in a jaccuzi.We only go to clubs that allow single guys in as we enjoy MMF threesomes and also enjoy being watched by guys and have no problem with them wanking as they watch-in fact my wife finds this a huge turn on! Often this will lead to them being asked to join us or to cum over her boobs {another big turn on for her}. However, if they are rude, pushy or smelly then they will be asked to leave. Also, one or two guys watching and wanking can be a turn on, however, any more than that can be intimidating and become a turn off. Remember guys, this is just what we like and other couples may not. So the golden rule is be polite-and if in doubt ask. We are actually going to Liberty Elite this Friday so if any single guys are reading this and thinking of going then please come and say hello!! Cheers" Pretty sound advice. I've been in the club scene as a single male and as a couple with my fiancee so seen both angles. Generally respect, politeness and common human decency are the way forward. People tend to reciprocate this whether they are interested or not. And just remember not everyone couple is there with an interest for a single man so your approach (even if purely social) may get the occasional frosty reception. Not because they have anything against single men per se, just it gets a bit tiresome when you've spent the whole night batting off the advances of single men (some of which may not have been so polite and respectful) when your not intrested. Sadly the actions of other men do have to habit of souring the atmosphere and good will towards others. Which when you have seen or experienced (I've seen some disgusting behaviour towards my partner) you can understand why, it really spoils things for everyone. | |||
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"I suppose it depends on the man and the other people present. My last club visit, I was at the bar handing in my two cans of beer and a couple came and stood next to me to do the same. I looked at said simply 'good evening' the response - she laughed, and he said 'we don't play with old men save your fucking breath' I stared and left and I am never going clubbing again on my own ! Unusual ? dunno but I felt like shit and it is not happening again, so guys beware !" Nasty people. Don't let them put you off. | |||
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"Also as unfair as it sounds in my experience clubs where they are selected with their single men and charge huge membership prices tend to have better behaving single men that say clubs that don't need membership. Simply because guys risk losing a lot by misbehaving so the guys that do want to misbehave generally just stick to clubs where they don't have to worry about losing their membership or giving details. As single guy I saw this as massively unfair and I would just avoid clubs like Chameleons. But as a couple I really see and appreciate it because the quality in behaviour standards of the single males can really be the difference between a great night and one which is totally ruined. Like what happened to us the other night, which was totally discusting and may have really changed things for us. Unfair as it sounds these things do alter your perception of single guys or at least make you wary of single guys you don't know. The single guy just quickly fucked off into the night (before I could get my hands on him), no doubt to try that shit in the next non membership club he finds." What happened? Money means nothing. Rich men can be abusive. Paying more means some men expect more. | |||
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"The worst kind are the ones who intrude, uninvited on a scene and when they are asked to stop don't take no for an answer.Completely ruins the vibe.I think that management should be more aware and stop it happening." Some clubs tell the men when they arrive, that there's many horny women in and they should get lucky. If the management don't do anything about reports of bad behaviour it's because they want the single mens' money. Couples and women pay less because they are bait. | |||
"Also as unfair as it sounds in my experience clubs where they are selected with their single men and charge huge membership prices tend to have better behaving single men that say clubs that don't need membership. Simply because guys risk losing a lot by misbehaving so the guys that do want to misbehave generally just stick to clubs where they don't have to worry about losing their membership or giving details. As single guy I saw this as massively unfair and I would just avoid clubs like Chameleons. But as a couple I really see and appreciate it because the quality in behaviour standards of the single males can really be the difference between a great night and one which is totally ruined. Like what happened to us the other night, which was totally discusting and may have really changed things for us. Unfair as it sounds these things do alter your perception of single guys or at least make you wary of single guys you don't know. The single guy just quickly fucked off into the night (before I could get my hands on him), no doubt to try that shit in the next non membership club he finds." Actually I have found the opposite to be true.. Find that clubs where the guys have paid a lot to get in and for membership seem to expect more. | |||
"I only go to clubs on nights single guys are allowed in and will happily engage and talk to singles and couples alike. What bugs me is when I see a gent. I try to talk to him... And he can't talk to you as just gets to shy x" I have a feeling I'd get like that in a club. I'm bad enough in an ordinary pub... | |||
"Also as unfair as it sounds in my experience clubs where they are selected with their single men and charge huge membership prices tend to have better behaving single men that say clubs that don't need membership. Simply because guys risk losing a lot by misbehaving so the guys that do want to misbehave generally just stick to clubs where they don't have to worry about losing their membership or giving details. As single guy I saw this as massively unfair and I would just avoid clubs like Chameleons. But as a couple I really see and appreciate it because the quality in behaviour standards of the single males can really be the difference between a great night and one which is totally ruined. Like what happened to us the other night, which was totally discusting and may have really changed things for us. Unfair as it sounds these things do alter your perception of single guys or at least make you wary of single guys you don't know. The single guy just quickly fucked off into the night (before I could get my hands on him), no doubt to try that shit in the next non membership club he finds. What happened? Money means nothing. Rich men can be abusive. Paying more means some men expect more." I'm not going to go into details. That's not for me to tell as it happened to my partner. Her body, for her to tell or not. I don't disagree with what your saying about money is no guarantee of respect. But we have been to clubs where you have to sign up for membership, pay a fee (and I suspect are secretly selective) and clubs where you pay a fee on the door, walk in no questions ask. And in our experience the behaviour has always been worse and found more unsavory characters in non membership clubs where guys have far less to lose or be traced (or on party nights when non members can attend). Thats not to say people don't misbehave in all clubs but it's more enjoyable to be in a club environment where the atmosphere feels safer. That is our experience. | |||
"Also as unfair as it sounds in my experience clubs where they are selected with their single men and charge huge membership prices tend to have better behaving single men that say clubs that don't need membership. Simply because guys risk losing a lot by misbehaving so the guys that do want to misbehave generally just stick to clubs where they don't have to worry about losing their membership or giving details. As single guy I saw this as massively unfair and I would just avoid clubs like Chameleons. But as a couple I really see and appreciate it because the quality in behaviour standards of the single males can really be the difference between a great night and one which is totally ruined. Like what happened to us the other night, which was totally discusting and may have really changed things for us. Unfair as it sounds these things do alter your perception of single guys or at least make you wary of single guys you don't know. The single guy just quickly fucked off into the night (before I could get my hands on him), no doubt to try that shit in the next non membership club he finds. Actually I have found the opposite to be true.. Find that clubs where the guys have paid a lot to get in and for membership seem to expect more. " Strange that how our experience can be so different. Like I said we have tended to find complete the opposite. I wonder if when some men have paid high fees if their expectations of women on their own is different to that of couples. I do know there are places (like a certain place in Birmingham) where guys pay astronomical fees but there are host girls and it's kind of sold (unofficially) sex is sort of garrentted. Places like that probably don't help with any link between fees and entitlement to women. | |||
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"I suppose it depends on the man and the other people present. My last club visit, I was at the bar handing in my two cans of beer and a couple came and stood next to me to do the same. I looked at said simply 'good evening' the response - she laughed, and he said 'we don't play with old men save your fucking breath' I stared and left and I am never going clubbing again on my own ! Unusual ? dunno but I felt like shit and it is not happening again, so guys beware !" see cant stand people like that , think I would had a comeback on that tbh like "hope your cocks as big as your egos" in our local club , I always leave the mrs chatting at the bar ,and I am off in hot tub sauna bit nose about the playrooms . so not bothered about her chatting to singles, mind few times have comeback to check on her , shes talking to a single , and a few have looked and don't speak , dodnt speak to me get no where with the mrs .nice to be nice | |||
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"Also as unfair as it sounds in my experience clubs where they are selected with their single men and charge huge membership prices tend to have better behaving single men that say clubs that don't need membership. Simply because guys risk losing a lot by misbehaving so the guys that do want to misbehave generally just stick to clubs where they don't have to worry about losing their membership or giving details. As single guy I saw this as massively unfair and I would just avoid clubs like Chameleons. But as a couple I really see and appreciate it because the quality in behaviour standards of the single males can really be the difference between a great night and one which is totally ruined. Like what happened to us the other night, which was totally discusting and may have really changed things for us. Unfair as it sounds these things do alter your perception of single guys or at least make you wary of single guys you don't know. The single guy just quickly fucked off into the night (before I could get my hands on him), no doubt to try that shit in the next non membership club he finds. Actually I have found the opposite to be true.. Find that clubs where the guys have paid a lot to get in and for membership seem to expect more. Strange that how our experience can be so different. Like I said we have tended to find complete the opposite. I wonder if when some men have paid high fees if their expectations of women on their own is different to that of couples. I do know there are places (like a certain place in Birmingham) where guys pay astronomical fees but there are host girls and it's kind of sold (unofficially) sex is sort of garrentted. Places like that probably don't help with any link between fees and entitlement to women. " Those places should not advertise themselves as swingers' clubs then. | |||
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" !see cant stand people like that , think I would had a comeback on that tbh like "hope your cocks as big as your egos" in our local club , I always leave the mrs chatting at the bar ,and I am off in hot tub sauna bit nose about the playrooms . so not bothered about her chatting to singles, mind few times have comeback to check on her , shes talking to a single , and a few have looked and don't speak , dodnt speak to me get no where with the mrs .nice to be nice " We do very similar when we go to our local clubs. I will leave her at the bar an go for a wander around. Not just to see what is happening, but also to give the guys a chance. We actively look for single guys when we go to a club and Mrs much prefers it when a guy chats to her and even flirts a little. However we have noticed that a lot of guys feel intimidated when I'm stood there and just can't pluck up the courage to say hello. When I bugger off she gets a lot more response. What a lot don't seem to realise is that quite often she will fuck a guy who she wouldn't normally even look at. Only because he has used his personality to chat her up the right way. We can't speak for other couples but for us, and a lot of guys we have met, it pays dividends. | |||