FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Why is it so difficult for men?

Why is it so difficult for men?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I’m intrigued...why do a lot of blokes not feel like they can go to a swingers club on their own?

The amount of messages I get asking if I would accompany them to a club because of whatever reason they choose to give me at the time....it’s not that difficult guys...grow a pair and do it!

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By *andrelaxMan over a year ago

Harlesden

Because we're also penalised by pricing scales too?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Because we're also penalised by pricing scales too?"

That’s a generalisation

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's hard to be the one to approach, and generally men are. Plus prices are almost always much higher for men. So I get it.

But the safety concerns for women mean that there's no way I'd accommodate the request.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m intrigued...why do a lot of blokes not feel like they can go to a swingers club on their own?

The amount of messages I get asking if I would accompany them to a club because of whatever reason they choose to give me at the time....it’s not that difficult guys...grow a pair and do it!

"
When you say I in singular are you not a couple

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By *hatFellaMan over a year ago

Church Fenton

For me, I've never been to any club before (although I'm going to Asylum tonight) and I would be really nervous to rock up on my todd.

Plus,not knowing anyone there wouldnt be fun

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I’m intrigued...why do a lot of blokes not feel like they can go to a swingers club on their own?

The amount of messages I get asking if I would accompany them to a club because of whatever reason they choose to give me at the time....it’s not that difficult guys...grow a pair and do it!

When you say I in singular are you not a couple

Yes but I go clubs alone sometimes

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By *ancelot1633Man over a year ago

weybridge

I have never experienced a shortage of unaccompanied men at a club.

Its always nice to go with someone rather than be a potential Billie no mates (or balls) and I can certainly see why you get a lots of requests but enough seem to make it there on their own in any case.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS over a year ago

Cheshire

[Removed by poster at 31/08/19 14:26:32]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Plus,not knowing anyone there wouldnt be fun "

Why not? I used love going to chams alone and not knowing anyone. It was fun going and making new friends along the way.

I won't take people I don't know with me, I don't want to share a locker with people I don't know well.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m intrigued...why do a lot of blokes not feel like they can go to a swingers club on their own?

The amount of messages I get asking if I would accompany them to a club because of whatever reason they choose to give me at the time....it’s not that difficult guys...grow a pair and do it!

"
they are trying to reduce the cost of entry more one would think

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have no issues going alone and now regular at Xtasia on a Friday, it’s all about being social and interacting with people.

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By *elshsunsWoman over a year ago

Flintshire

Blimey I go on my own so I’m sure a lot of males could manage it

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By *errysMan over a year ago

milton keynes and kent

I think you will find its for nights when its couples only.

If you look in forums you will see many many posts of people complaining of too many men at clubs.

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman over a year ago

Victoria, London

Can't say I'd be interested in a guy if he can't walk into a club on his own.

I have accompanied guys before, they've literally left me once changed for a 'quick walk around' and not seen him until ready to go home!!!

Not falling for that one again. Mind you worse, if they cling to me all day.

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By *ollydoesWoman over a year ago

Shangri-La

"Can't say I'd be interested in a guy if he can't walk into a club on his own.

I have accompanied guys before, they've literally left me once changed for a 'quick walk around' and not seen him until ready to go home!!!

Not falling for that one again. Mind you worse, if they cling to me all day."

Or assume they have you in reserve for bang in case they dont see any action

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By *ld HeroMan over a year ago

Luton

For me it was a very nerve wracking thing to do.

Mainly for not wanting to look like the creepy guy in the corner just lurking on everyone (that was the stigma in my mind anyway).

But DAMN glad I did!

Went with no expectations of play, had a few drinks met some amazing people and been again a few times since.

Highly recommend it to anyone just remember to be respectful at all times!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have had mixed experiences with guys in club. Most times they are superb. But once was an open door night and the numbers were too high. Became like a hunting pack. Fewer numbers works better for everyone. The women, couples and even the guys. It was so bad I had to escort Mrs to the toilet as she didnt want to walk through the club alone.

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By *onny MCMan over a year ago

Crawley

After a few years of going to clubs on my own, I still have nights where I feel awkward and out of my depth so I can see why it puts guys off. Plenty of posts on here complain about single guys too so lots probably assume they'll be lumped in with the trouble makers.

Having said all that, I've had plenty of amazing days and nights in clubs so I'd still encourage guys to get over their fears and try it. Picking the right club is important, find a smaller club where you won't feel quite so lost with background music so you can talk easily.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m intrigued...why do a lot of blokes not feel like they can go to a swingers club on their own?

The amount of messages I get asking if I would accompany them to a club because of whatever reason they choose to give me at the time....it’s not that difficult guys...grow a pair and do it!

I would (and fully intend) to go on my own, why wouldn’t you? Surely that’s the whole excitement of it??

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By *ENGUYMan over a year ago

Hull

I daresay one could jump to all sorts of conclusions, as already suggested but maybe consider the issue of people attending a club for the first time.

For some, be they Male or Female, taking that first step, can be daunting.

Within a work environment, I am comfortable when dealing with people. I have conducted Sales Presentations in front of 3000 delegates at a Travel Agents show, or officiated at Weddings or other functions.

Put me in a Social situation, and I'm scared! A club of any type can be even worse and even with the best preventative measures, some clubs can be very Cliquey, thus effectively shutting out newcomers.

So, for anyone going to a club without knowing a soul, it's a potentially frightening scenario.

Maybe that's why some guys seek couples to almost chaperone them to clubs.

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By *ullpa72Man over a year ago

Isle of Arran

"I’m intrigued...why do a lot of blokes not feel like they can go to a swingers club on their own?

The amount of messages I get asking if I would accompany them to a club because of whatever reason they choose to give me at the time....it’s not that difficult guys...grow a pair and do it!

"
I did !!and loved it .Chose an afternoon party so it was not that busy and as I said it was an amazing experience .I am already booked in for the next one .

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By *oti100Man over a year ago

Newcastle

Because I think this site for single man including my self is just west of time maybe in here are 90 percent single man and 10 percent woman and couples

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A club, like life, is what you make it. If you go and expect to pounce on (or be pounced on by) every female in the place then you are going to be disappointed. I was very concerned the first time I went to one on my own, but after the initial worries, I got talking to people and soon found that if I was pleasant to them, they in return would be pleasant to me.

Yes, I have fancied some women and couples and got nowhere, even after a very nice chat, other times I've been chatting and later the person has returned and made a play for me.

I have no fear of going to a club on my own and will be attending two in the next couple of weeks. Who knows what might happen but I treat it as a day/night out and if I am fortunate enough to meet someone to play with, that is a bonus.

The single men that spoil it for others are those who go prowling and expect every woman to fall at their feet begging for a F***. Get real guys, it ain't going to happen!

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By *ld HeroMan over a year ago

Luton

"Because I think this site for single man including my self is just west of time maybe in here are 90 percent single man and 10 percent woman and couples"

If it's a waste of time why are you still on it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I went to eurekas on my own and bloody loved it loads of really friendly people there

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Because I think this site for single man including my self is just west of time maybe in here are 90 percent single man and 10 percent woman and couples"

I think this thread is about clubs not Fab.

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By *ovkid66Man over a year ago

Warwick

I've been to swingers clubs in my own, and yes it can be a bit daunting, but I've also had some great conversations and some great fun.

I'm not a pushy guy so do tend to not put myself forward as some guys do. Also being very slim and not thinking im great looking doesnt help my cause I guess. Yes it would be nice to find a regular lady to form a friendship with and attend clubs and I do ask a lady on occasion but I still go on my own. Finally yes the cost is a bit much sometimes.

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By *oney to the beeWoman over a year ago

Manchester

"I’m intrigued...why do a lot of blokes not feel like they can go to a swingers club on their own?

The amount of messages I get asking if I would accompany them to a club because of whatever reason they choose to give me at the time....it’s not that difficult guys...grow a pair and do it!

Its because if they go with you if nobody else with shag them the person they went with might give them a pity fuck.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When we used to visit clubs, we would chat to any guys there. If they were ‘alone’, in the sense that they were not part of a ‘pack’, they would usually get to join us. We always avoided the guys if they were accompanied by friends.

From our, limited, experience, ‘lone’ guys seem to do better at clubs.

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By *earded_buddhaMan over a year ago

mansfield

I very recently attended my first club night and it's not as scary as i thought it would be.

Yes early in the night i wasn't sure who to talk to (or rather who would let me talk to them) but you soon realise that most people are there to socialise, chat and see where it goes.

I will be attending more club nights in future

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When we used to visit clubs, we would chat to any guys there. If they were ‘alone’, in the sense that they were not part of a ‘pack’, they would usually get to join us. We always avoided the guys if they were accompanied by friends.

From our, limited, experience, ‘lone’ guys seem to do better at clubs. "

Totally this!

As a couple we will always take the time to chat to single guys in clubs whether they are our type or not. We do stay well clear of the packs there's nothing more intimidating than 3-4 guys coming up to you been cheeky, leery, creepy and encouraging each other in all the wrong ways, they also seem to always drink more together than a guy on his own does thus making the problems worse. We have had to tell a few groups to back off and leave us alone yet we have never needed to do that with a guy who was there on his own.

KJ x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I used to go clubs by myself. Its not that hard! People would often be amazed that a young single girl like me had the guts to go alone to something like that. An I also suffer from social anxiety (ongoing).

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"I’m intrigued...why do a lot of blokes not feel like they can go to a swingers club on their own?

The amount of messages I get asking if I would accompany them to a club because of whatever reason they choose to give me at the time....it’s not that difficult guys...grow a pair and do it!

No idea.

I'm quite happy to go alone, even when a newbie on the scene

Guess my pair is just that wee bit bigger

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have no issues with going to a club alone. I never expect anything so if something does happen, it's a bonus. I like to think I'm respectful, am chatty and always happy to approach people.

My lady friend goes to clubs alone also and says on the whole, single guys are respectful but on occasion, some just don't get the social etiquette and invade her personal space constantly with no attempt to make conversation which weirds her out.

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By *os19Man over a year ago

Edmonton

I am a single guy so I tend to go to club & spa by myself yes the first time I felt nervous but I soon started to talk to people like I would in a pub or club now it’s no big deal if I go by myself.There are various reasons why some guys won’t go by themselves I personally think cost for a single guy especially in London where I am based is one reason.

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By *kin BohnerMan over a year ago

derby

"I’m intrigued...why do a lot of blokes not feel like they can go to a swingers club on their own?

The amount of messages I get asking if I would accompany them to a club because of whatever reason they choose to give me at the time....it’s not that difficult guys...grow a pair and do it!

I've been, twice on my own. The first time was a disaster and I put it down to nerves and being a novice. The second time... though not on the same scale it was not a good experience.

If I was rude or pushy or stank or anything else negative I could understand it but I was polite, I tried to make conversation in a polite respectful way. I didn't but in and I certainly didn't try to join in anything uninvited. I was basically ignored. I've not been back.

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"Because we're also penalised by pricing scales too?

That’s a generalisation "

Is it? Name a club where a single male pays the same admission fee as a single female.......?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Because we're also penalised by pricing scales too?

That’s a generalisation

Is it? Name a club where a single male pays the same admission fee as a single female.......?"

Bristol Gardens Health Spa advertises £22 per single entry and £33 for a couple. It makes no mention of a different price whether you are male or female. OK its not a swingers club as such, but read the threads on here and people have as much play time there as in a lot of other places.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m a single male and was very nervous of venturing inside a club. Eventually plucked up the courage and knocked on the door. Everyone was so friendly and I’m a regular now, I love it.

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By *lik and PaulCouple over a year ago

cahoots

"Because we're also penalised by pricing scales too?"

Some clubs have pricing differentials and some don't. However, if you're looking for a cheap shag then looking for it in a swingers club is probably the wrong place anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Because we're also penalised by pricing scales too?

Some clubs have pricing differentials and some don't. However, if you're looking for a cheap shag then looking for it in a swingers club is probably the wrong place anyway."
oh my God it's not cheap

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Let's face it, in life lot's of people won't do lot's of things on their own! I have loads of friends that won't go into pubs on their own and that's way easier than taking your clothes off in public!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Let's face it, in life lot's of people won't do lot's of things on their own! I have loads of friends that won't go into pubs on their own and that's way easier than taking your clothes off in public! "
ahhhh yes but I love taking my clothes off in public but would still enjoy you taking me to a club or a bed

flower of course

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By *issyme555TV/TS over a year ago

Motherwell

My two pence so I am a really shy guy and for the reaction i get on fab being completely blanked most of the time makes me fear that in a club environment on my own I would end up sat in a corner alone all night and what with having to pay more. I no it probably wouldn't happen like that but I struggle to stop that fear.

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By *rummiePartyManMan over a year ago

birmingham

"The amount of messages I get asking if I would accompany them to a club because of whatever reason they choose to give me at the time....it’s not that difficult guys...grow a pair and do it!

3 things:

1. It's considerably cheaper to go as a couple.

2. As a couple you can go on Couples Only nights, which a single guy could otherwise never do.

3. A guy would hope that if you go with them, they are guaranteed a playmate.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m intrigued...why do a lot of blokes not feel like they can go to a swingers club on their own?

The amount of messages I get asking if I would accompany them to a club because of whatever reason they choose to give me at the time....it’s not that difficult guys...grow a pair and do it!

Grow a pair

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By *inkyman1964Man over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

"For me, I've never been to any club before (although I'm going to Asylum tonight) and I would be really nervous to rock up on my todd.

Plus,not knowing anyone there wouldnt be fun "

Surely the idea of going to a Swinger's Club is to meet new people and make friends?

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By *inkyman1964Man over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

"I’m intrigued...why do a lot of blokes not feel like they can go to a swingers club on their own?

The amount of messages I get asking if I would accompany them to a club because of whatever reason they choose to give me at the time....it’s not that difficult guys...grow a pair and do it!

I've been, twice on my own. The first time was a disaster and I put it down to nerves and being a novice. The second time... though not on the same scale it was not a good experience.

Try a different, friendlier Club?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It was a bit daunting when I first decided to go to a club but once you've been and if you like it then every other time is a doddle

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"I’m intrigued...why do a lot of blokes not feel like they can go to a swingers club on their own?

The amount of messages I get asking if I would accompany them to a club because of whatever reason they choose to give me at the time....it’s not that difficult guys...grow a pair and do it!

I've been, twice on my own. The first time was a disaster and I put it down to nerves and being a novice. The second time... though not on the same scale it was not a good experience.

Try a different, friendlier Club?"

Great advice

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By *ADY VOLUPTUOUS OF KENTWoman over a year ago

TONBRIDGE ROUNDABOUTS

I've never been to a club alone

So not just men..

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"Because we're also penalised by pricing scales too?

Some clubs have pricing differentials and some don't. However, if you're looking for a cheap shag then looking for it in a swingers club is probably the wrong place anyway."

The people looking for a cheap shag know where to find it, I’m sure. The discussion of this thread however, is why some single men find it difficult to visit swing clubs by themselves, and one of the most common reasons is the gender disparity in the pricing structures

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"Because we're also penalised by pricing scales too?

That’s a generalisation

Is it? Name a club where a single male pays the same admission fee as a single female.......?

Having read some of the threads about BGHS, it seems the place is a naturist resort, where 'amorous activities' (including kissing and holding hands) is strictly restricted to the rest rooms? So not a swingers club at all then

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By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

I (Mr) started my swinger life by visiting clubs as a single guy way back in the 1980's, long before I met Mrs H.

The first time I visited a club (Adam & Eve Eccles) I was visibly shaking as I approached the door. Everyone in the street was staring at me and pointing their fingers (they weren't really but that is how it felt) however I took a deep breath and walked in.

The first thing I learned was the pricing structure, couples got a great deal and single guys got a hit. Hey ho that is the way it is, always has been, and always will be, so get used to it.

The other thing I learned was that in all the years as a single guy and as a couple is that no two nights in a club are the same. Even on consecutive nights it can go from feast to famine (or vice versa) in almost the blink of an eye.

Some nights the couples will only want to play with other couples, other nights can be a free for all with the single guys having a ball.

We go to clubs actively looking for single guys and sometimes the ones in the club are so shagged out that by later in the evening they can barely raise a smile let alone anything else (much to Mrs H's disappointment LOL)

However on other nights we've seen the standard of single guys so low that she would sooner join a convent than even touch (let alone fuck) any of them.

Lastly a few tips for single guys going to clubs.

Take a look in the mirror (kit off) and ask yourself who would want to fuck me? Would I appeal to a woman in a club? Remember just because you are in a swinger club doesn't mean that having a cock is the only qualification, and if you are over weight you are probably a turn off for 90% of the women who are in the place. In our experience very few want a huge belly bouncing up and down on them. Maybe that remark isn't PC these days but it is still true.

The other thing that puts off the majority of women is the zombie wanking squad (you know who you are) The ones that follow every woman/couple around the club like they are stuck to their arse like glue and constantly playing with their cocks. Trust me guys, it's very off putting.

The top tip however is to stay in the lounge/bar area and actually try to talk to people. To be fair some will be rude and ignorant, hey ho shit happens, just leave them to it and move on, but others will actually be waiting for a decent guy to say hello and it can have very rewarding results.

Lastly, a swinger club is not a brothel. Just because you have paid your money does not guarantee you a shag and the women have the same choices as to who they fuck and when. The same as women everywhere.

If the pricing structure makes you think that it will be a waste of money if you don't get a fuck then I really think that swinger clubs are not for you.

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I’m intrigued...why do a lot of blokes not feel like they can go to a swingers club on their own?

because they see the person as some sort of "golden ticket" and want to be sure of a "guarenteed shag" before they go.....

sad but true.....

so... lads... here is a news flash... its no better than going with someone you don't know, than it is going there and meeting people you don't know!

you still have to open your mouths and flap your gums.....

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

"Can't say I'd be interested in a guy if he can't walk into a club on his own.

I have accompanied guys before, they've literally left me once changed for a 'quick walk around' and not seen him until ready to go home!!!

Not falling for that one again. Mind you worse, if they cling to me all day."
.

That happened to an ex of mine. In fact it's how we met. His loss. We had a 2 year relationship and then anothe 2 as FBs.

Before I met Debs obvs.

Steve

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nothing worse than guys just stood staring in a club. Either talk or sod off.

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan over a year ago

I've only been to a club twice but knowing I would at least see people I knew there, I did notice single men either standing in the corner alone or trying to make conversation with Women/couples and most time it looked a little uncomfortable, I know no one has to make conversation if they don't want to but some Women/couples could help the single Men out a little more by engaging with them or making the first move, Obviously Some do and some Men don't have this issue but on these occasions it was just something I noticed

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's not difficult really, it's been totally over exaggerated over the years, men get great success here

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By *elshsunsWoman over a year ago

Flintshire

"I (Mr) started my swinger life by visiting clubs as a single guy way back in the 1980's, long before I met Mrs H.

The first thing I learned was the pricing structure, couples got a great deal and single guys got a hit. Hey ho that is the way it is, always has been, and always will be, so get used to it.

Some nights the couples will only want to play with other couples, other nights can be a free for all with the single guys having a ball.

However on other nights we've seen the standard of single guys so low that she would sooner join a convent than even touch (let alone fuck) any of them.

Lastly a few tips for single guys going to clubs.

If the pricing structure makes you think that it will be a waste of money if you don't get a fuck then I really think that swinger clubs are not for you."

Excellent advice

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By *tephTV67TV/TS over a year ago

Cheshire

Pick your night, if you're a bi single guy, go to a bi night. If you're straight look at a newbie night or a party with a theme, then pick a great costume.

A club is similar to any other pub or nightclub, the difference is there is a section for people to get very friendly

Go without any expectations, don't drink too much, smile a lot and tell people it's your first time. You'd be surprised how many will interact with you in many different ways

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By *elshsunsWoman over a year ago

Flintshire

I originally joined a club as a couple 14yrs ago but that relationship ended and I hadn’t been for a few years ... I won’t accompany single blokes so last year I decided to go back to the club I’m a member of to a daytime event .... I was terrified drew up in the car and nearly drove away without stopping but I decided that to enjoy the clubs again o had to do it... hell I travel on my own so I did .... wow it was fab I sat at the bar and spoke with everyone that was in the vicinity .... had an amazing time and now I go every month .... on my own !!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Was just about to start a thread like this, think I’m goin to get myself out to harlots this week, not expecting anythin, got to be better than my local tho ha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been to one on my own.

Felt like a complete idiot when I did.

It wasn't the situation.. being in a club full of swingers for the first time. The courage of took to go there.. on my own. Going to a normal nightclub alone is enough to make most people feel a bit of a plum.

It was paying such an extortionate amount of money in comparison to everyone else in their.

It was my long term curiosity that convinced me to part with my cash.. not desperation.. but tell that to the Staff.. tell that to the couples I made an effort to introduce myself to. The Groups of friends who ignored me as I ran out of people to say hi to..

Yeah.. felt like a prize dickhead that night. You live and learn.

I imagine the experience is much different as part of a couple. Though the humiliation has put me off asking any of my friends to go with me.. I'm in no rush to give my money away so freely..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

my grammar is off today.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm braving club shhh on the 19th. It's purely a social event but hope to meet and chat to some nice people and get a feel for it.

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By *attoo.GentMan over a year ago

Electric Avenue

I imagine as it is hard enough on this site!

And actually being turned down in real life is much more awkward in real life hahhah.

Also it is quite an overwhelming place to go on your own, meeting strangers in this scene!

I am yet to go, and think i would rather go with company!

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By *Marvel-Man over a year ago

In The Gym

Went on my own to club sx on Saturday night. Nothing to be afraid of. Once you're in you're in. Tour. Speak to people. Dress down. There's nothing to worry about everyone's nice. I drove there so wasn't drinking and it was still good fun.

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By *inkyman1964Man over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

"I imagine as it is hard enough on this site!

And actually being turned down in real life is much more awkward in real life hahhah.

Also it is quite an overwhelming place to go on your own, meeting strangers in this scene!

I am yet to go, and think i would rather go with company!"

I would have thought that if single ladies can make it to Swinger's Clubs on their own then single men should be able to pluck up the courage to do the same!

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By *izzy.Woman over a year ago

Stoke area

"I imagine as it is hard enough on this site!

And actually being turned down in real life is much more awkward in real life hahhah.

Also it is quite an overwhelming place to go on your own, meeting strangers in this scene!

I am yet to go, and think i would rather go with company!"

It's much, much better to go as a single guy. If you tag along with a lady, you go in as a couple and are expected to chat and to play as a couple. You will cramp each other's style if you click with someone else.

Go in alone. Smile and be friendly . Introduce yourself. Hi it's my first time here , mind if I chat to you for a couple of minutes.

No pressure . no expectations. Having a chat , is not that difficult. Nobody should feel rejected if someone doesn't want to chat.

Then later in the evening, you wander back to anyone you thought was friendly and see if it leads anywhere.

You can ask for verifications, maybe arrange to meet another time.

Do not go expecting to fuck someone. Go to have a great relaxed evening out, meeting new people and seeing how club's work.

Guys. It is not scary, difficult, full of buff naked people. It's just a pub with a bit of naughtiness thrown in, usually in another part of the building.

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By *onny MCMan over a year ago

Crawley

It's true. I regularly go to swingers clubs on my own and have been going to rock concerts on my own for over 15 years, but still find it awkward walking into a restaurant alone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It took me ages to build up the bravery to go to Le Boudoir in London alone and I put it down to to things really:

1) It takes a lot to do anything that completely pushes your boundaries completely alone without a partner in crime to lean on.

2) You immediately pre-empt that by going as a single male you'll have to graft to meet and get attention and its nerve wracking trying to think of ways to break the ice whilst not coming across too forward or pesty...

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By *indkink82Man over a year ago

Caistor

Up for club meets when I can afford it. No one takes a fancy to me however x

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple over a year ago

Chester

"Because we're also penalised by pricing scales too?"

Ooohh yes let's make it cheaper and flood clubs with men, enjoy your men only night

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Because we're also penalised by pricing scales too?

Ooohh yes let's make it cheaper and flood clubs with men, enjoy your men only night

"
they have men only nights lol

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple over a year ago

Chester

"Because we're also penalised by pricing scales too?

Ooohh yes let's make it cheaper and flood clubs with men, enjoy your men only night

they have men only nights lol

Will do if men have their way, but there's already clubs and specific nights for this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think you will find its for nights when its couples only.

If you look in forums you will see many many posts of people complaining of too many men at clubs."

Many guys ask me to go into the Gatehouse with them and it's definitely not couples only. However, unlike the Gatehouse, most clubs charge a membership fee plus a lot more for a single guy than a couple. Typically around 60/80 per year membership and 15/25 per visit or 40 for one single visit

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By *ENGUYMan over a year ago

Hull

"I've been to one on my own.

Felt like a complete idiot when I did.

It was paying such an extortionate amount of money in comparison to everyone else in their.

Yeah.. felt like a prize dickhead that night. You live and learn.

I imagine the experience is much different as part of a couple. Though the humiliation has put me off asking any of my friends to go with me.. I'm in no rush to give my money away so freely.. "

Agree with this totally. I went to one club recently where everyone I talked too just froze me out! I got nowhere!

In that club I'm an infrequent member, so I know so few there! The "cliques" are so tight with each other that new Singles don't stand a chance.

There was another new Single Male there, who has attended other clubs across the UK; in his view, he said it was a waste of time trying to make any headway there and he left!

Strange thing is the club in question states it's a friendly place yet the opposite was the case with no-one interacting with others.

That's why some clubs can be intimidating; I'm not saying all clubs are like that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I (Mr) started my swinger life by visiting clubs as a single guy way back in the 1980's, long before I met Mrs H.

The first thing I learned was the pricing structure, couples got a great deal and single guys got a hit. Hey ho that is the way it is, always has been, and always will be, so get used to it.

Some nights the couples will only want to play with other couples, other nights can be a free for all with the single guys having a ball.

However on other nights we've seen the standard of single guys so low that she would sooner join a convent than even touch (let alone fuck) any of them.

Lastly a few tips for single guys going to clubs.

If the pricing structure makes you think that it will be a waste of money if you don't get a fuck then I really think that swinger clubs are not for you.

Excellent advice

Agreed excellent post and insight!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It was paying such an extortionate amount of money in comparison to everyone else in their.

I'm in no rush to give my money away so freely.. "

I'm curious what was this extortionate price difference you talk about?

We go to the 2 main clubs in the north east as a couple now granted different nights have different prices but most of the time it's about £20 for a couple and £25 for a single male and some nights it's the same price for single males as it is a couple. The only major difference is if your comparing it to a single lady where they may pay £5 to £10 depending on the night / event.

Some clubs have bars but aren't licensed to sell alcohol so it's bring your own alcohol. You still get bar staff serving your drinks though. Once you factor that in the night costs us way less than any normal night out on the town.

Some clubs have a 10 fee to get a sleeping bag and crash for the night and others have hotel rooms attached to the club our local is only £30 for a room for the night and breakfast in the morning. So it can work out a pretty cheap night away.

I'm interested in how clubs in other areas of the UK set there pricing?

I do know that if it becomes to many single men all the time that can ruin a club so numbers do need to be carefully controlled depending on the theme for the benefit of all the those attending including the single males. Some clubs have reserved spots only for trusted regulars on certain nights and other clubs have single guy waiting lists it all comes back to supply and demand I guess.

KJ x

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By *oldyoudown41Man over a year ago

caledonian

I’m new to the scene here in England as I’m irish , went to Le-Boudoir a few months ago on my own and had a great night , talked to lots of friendly people and had a blast , nothing to be worried about, if your not looking for sex and just enjoy if for what it is as a social place .

Nice to be nice

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By *ENGUYMan over a year ago

Hull

I have noticed some clubs charge up to £50 for Single Males, whereas Single Females on the same night can be enter for as low as £5 or for free!

I visit clubs so infrequently due to my work. I'm on full-time Nights, with Sundays & Mondays off each week.

Nor do I drive, so have to factor in public transport timings, difficult on Sundays as trains finish far earlier, even here in the West Midlands.

When off Mondays, a lot of clubs are closed! Those that are open are too far away!

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple over a year ago

Chester

"I have noticed some clubs charge up to £50 for Single Males, whereas Single Females on the same night can be enter for as low as £5 or for free!

I visit clubs so infrequently due to my work. I'm on full-time Nights, with Sundays & Mondays off each week.

Nor do I drive, so have to factor in public transport timings, difficult on Sundays as trains finish far earlier, even here in the West Midlands.

When off Mondays, a lot of clubs are closed! Those that are open are too far away!"

Single females are in short supply single males aren't = Simples. If you want a club full of males try likes of Gatehouse. Chameleons is also for this their bi Monday is focused on males. We are a couple looking for couples so don't want nights with single males, it's swingers clubs not sex clubs for us

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By *lex D.Man over a year ago

London

"I’m intrigued...why do a lot of blokes not feel like they can go to a swingers club on their own?

The amount of messages I get asking if I would accompany them to a club because of whatever reason they choose to give me at the time....it’s not that difficult guys...grow a pair and do it!

Some guys can't even go into a pub on their own. Even if waiting for pals to arrive they'll hang out front. Audentis fortuna iuvat.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It was paying such an extortionate amount of money in comparison to everyone else in their.

I'm in no rush to give my money away so freely..

I'm curious what was this extortionate price difference you talk about?

I'm interested in how clubs in other areas of the UK set there pricing?

KJ x "

I pay £25 as one person.. you pay £20 as two.. That's an extortionate difference. The price may be low-ish, but principle is the same.

I dont live in the North, I live in the Midlands, not too far from two very big clubs, Xtasia and Chams.

Have a look at the price difference per night.. then take into account the annual membership fee as well. Perhaps you'll get a sense of what I'm saying.

Finance isn't the only form of controlling male numbers, there are other selective ways. Finance is the one most clubs choose to use.. and numbers is the excuse they use to do it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I fully agree with the whole 'clique' thing. I've only been to one club myself but it's something I noticed pretty much right away. I was with a group and as I looked around the venus,unless the single guy(s) had a way with words, he was dead in the water

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple over a year ago

Chester

We choose our clubs and nights as to what suits us, same for men. Xtasia holds FFFF which is free for all members, we found it not for us. Atlantis also probably the most reasonable club by you. Clubs don't need to entice males, infact can have waiting lists. We fancied Silks but given distance and membership costs it's a no but not ranting on here about joining fees etc like single men do, clubs charge what they want.

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By *good-being-badMan over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

"I’m intrigued...why do a lot of blokes not feel like they can go to a swingers club on their own?

The amount of messages I get asking if I would accompany them to a club because of whatever reason they choose to give me at the time....it’s not that difficult guys...grow a pair and do it!

Only folk who can allay your intrigue is the guy (s) who feel that way... no one else can answer for them, you do say some do give you a reason why.

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"We choose our clubs and nights as to what suits us, same for men. Xtasia holds FFFF which is free for all members, we found it not for us. Atlantis also probably the most reasonable club by you. Clubs don't need to entice males, infact can have waiting lists. We fancied Silks but given distance and membership costs it's a no but not ranting on here about joining fees etc like single men do, clubs charge what they want. "

The OP asked why some men find it difficult to visit a club by themselves, and most have mentioned the prohibitive pricing for single males. I would say the ‘ranting’ in here is fair enough........?

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By *ibblingnewtWoman over a year ago

by the sea

I’m guessing a few reasons

Feeling unwelcome is one, how many times do you hear about the amount of men at clubs and it being daunting for a woman

Cost is another, these clubs make quite a buck out of the single men, it should be one price for everyone

Chances of action, a single man will have a small chance of actually being able to find anyone wanting to play, a couple generally attracts another couple and singles of both sexes and a woman alone can attract everybody

So generally if they can double up with a female it’s cheaper and chances are better for some action and and they are unlikely to be viewed as a piranha and people will communicate more

I totally see why a bloke will ask a woman if they would go with them

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By *inkyman1964Man over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

If the pricing for single men is so prohibitive surely they would stay away? It isn't that much of an issue for the single men who do attend Clubs.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If the pricing for single men is so prohibitive surely they would stay away? It isn't that much of an issue for the single men who do attend Clubs."

hmmm.. maybe it's their first year attending.. and the reality hasn't dawned on them yet?

Perhaps theyve enough disposable income to not give a damn about a £150 annual membership?

They might not care that for half the price.. another man AND a woman get all the same things AND not excluded from any nights?

They may be desperate and think it's the ONLY way to get a first verification.

May have fallen victim to undercover hostessing and flattery from friends of the owners?

Or.. maybe the rest of us are just stingy, unpopular whingebags.. for disliking the current status quo? How very dare us!

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By *izzy.Woman over a year ago

Stoke area

"I’m guessing a few reasons

Feeling unwelcome is one, how many times do you hear about the amount of men at clubs and it being daunting for a woman

Cost is another, these clubs make quite a buck out of the single men, it should be one price for everyone

So generally if they can double up with a female it’s cheaper and chances are better for some action and and they are unlikely to be viewed as a piranha and people will communicate more

I totally see why a bloke will ask a woman if they would go with them

I have to disagree. I think a couple trying to find another suitable couple...you have 4 people to please.

A pleasant, friendly single guy can be invited to join a single lady or a couple looking for an extra fella to join them.

I think in certain club's the single guy is the one in demand.

Going with a female, especially one that is not your actual partner causes all kinds of problems and often means neither end up having a good night!

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By *inkyman1964Man over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

If the pricing for single men is so prohibitive surely they would stay away? It isn't that much of an issue for the single men who do attend Clubs.

hmmm.. maybe it's their first year attending.. and the reality hasn't dawned on them yet?

Perhaps theyve enough disposable income to not give a damn about a £150 annual membership?

They might not care that for half the price.. another man AND a woman get all the same things AND not excluded from any nights?

They may be desperate and think it's the ONLY way to get a first verification.

May have fallen victim to undercover hostessing and flattery from friends of the owners?

Or.. maybe the rest of us are just stingy, unpopular whingebags.. for disliking the current status quo? How very dare us!

£150 membership! Only £10 for lifetime membership at AtlantisEvolution.

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By *inkyman1964Man over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

If the pricing for single men is so prohibitive surely they would stay away? It isn't that much of an issue for the single men who do attend Clubs.

hmmm.. maybe it's their first year attending.. and the reality hasn't dawned on them yet?

Perhaps theyve enough disposable income to not give a damn about a £150 annual membership?

They might not care that for half the price.. another man AND a woman get all the same things AND not excluded from any nights?

They may be desperate and think it's the ONLY way to get a first verification.

May have fallen victim to undercover hostessing and flattery from friends of the owners?

Or.. maybe the rest of us are just stingy, unpopular whingebags.. for disliking the current status quo? How very dare us!

Also, single men are not allowed on certain nights because some couples and single ladies don't appreciate the attention of single men. So a man isn't missing out anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If the pricing for single men is so prohibitive surely they would stay away? It isn't that much of an issue for the single men who do attend Clubs.

hmmm.. maybe it's their first year attending.. and the reality hasn't dawned on them yet?

Perhaps theyve enough disposable income to not give a damn about a £150 annual membership?

They might not care that for half the price.. another man AND a woman get all the same things AND not excluded from any nights?

They may be desperate and think it's the ONLY way to get a first verification.

May have fallen victim to undercover hostessing and flattery from friends of the owners?

Or.. maybe the rest of us are just stingy, unpopular whingebags.. for disliking the current status quo? How very dare us!

£150 membership! Only £10 for lifetime membership at AtlantisEvolution."

Do you pay more as a man though?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If the pricing for single men is so prohibitive surely they would stay away? It isn't that much of an issue for the single men who do attend Clubs.

hmmm.. maybe it's their first year attending.. and the reality hasn't dawned on them yet?

Perhaps theyve enough disposable income to not give a damn about a £150 annual membership?

They might not care that for half the price.. another man AND a woman get all the same things AND not excluded from any nights?

They may be desperate and think it's the ONLY way to get a first verification.

May have fallen victim to undercover hostessing and flattery from friends of the owners?

Or.. maybe the rest of us are just stingy, unpopular whingebags.. for disliking the current status quo? How very dare us!

Also, single men are not allowed on certain nights because some couples and single ladies don't appreciate the attention of single men. So a man isn't missing out anyway."

Agreed, I'm not missing out.