FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > It's becoming harder and harder...
It's becoming harder and harder...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Calm down now its not what you filty minded people are thinking 
Why is it so hard to find a club partner?
I was on here a few years back and I had a fair few people message me asking if I would be up for accompanying them to chams... Now I can't even find anyone who wants to go.
Oh how things change lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Calm down now its not what you filty minded people are thinking
Why is it so hard to find a club partner?
I was on here a few years back and I had a fair few people message me asking if I would be up for accompanying them to chams... Now I can't even find anyone who wants to go.
Oh how things change lol "
Fab has changed and some of it for the worse |
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and possibly women have changed and grown up!
I get asked about going to clubs with guys, guys I would not socialise with. When I ask them the deal, it's so they look good, more chance of playing as a couple, its cheaper, and if I'm lucky they might fuck me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to go on my own unless its with a trusted play partner occasionally, but then again i have always had bigger balls than alot of men on here! (lol)
Most messages i get are weekends, asking me to hit a club as they need a plus 1 and they are never accepted
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"and possibly women have changed and grown up!
I get asked about going to clubs with guys, guys I would not socialise with. When I ask them the deal, it's so they look good, more chance of playing as a couple, its cheaper, and if I'm lucky they might fuck me."
Yeah well when that's the answer I can see why it's changed.
For me it's finding someone I have a connection with, who gets just as much enjoyment and excitement out of me as I do them. Someone I can be comfortable around and explore new things with. |
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"and possibly women have changed and grown up!
I get asked about going to clubs with guys, guys I would not socialise with. When I ask them the deal, it's so they look good, more chance of playing as a couple, its cheaper, and if I'm lucky they might fuck me."
Quite. Guaranteed shag, being looked after, cheaper entry. No thanks, I don't want to babysit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"and possibly women have changed and grown up!
I get asked about going to clubs with guys, guys I would not socialise with. When I ask them the deal, it's so they look good, more chance of playing as a couple, its cheaper, and if I'm lucky they might fuck me.
Yeah well when that's the answer I can see why it's changed.
For me it's finding someone I have a connection with, who gets just as much enjoyment and excitement out of me as I do them. Someone I can be comfortable around and explore new things with. "
go as a single a few times, mingle chat and then you never know youmay meet that person  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Quite. Guaranteed shag, being looked after, cheaper entry. No thanks, I don't want to babysit. "
this is why i say no to randoms. and if they play up it could be my name on the line and not my idea of fun
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"Calm down now its not what you filty minded people are thinking
Why is it so hard to find a club partner?
I was on here a few years back and I had a fair few people message me asking if I would be up for accompanying them to chams... Now I can't even find anyone who wants to go.
Oh how things change lol "
Try a different club mate. I’ve been to a few now, with remarkable different levels of attitudes to single guys, and varying degrees of ‘enjoyment’. It’s been an eye-opener for sure, how different these places, and more importantly the people who attend, can be  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Calm down now its not what you filty minded people are thinking
Why is it so hard to find a club partner?
I was on here a few years back and I had a fair few people message me asking if I would be up for accompanying them to chams... Now I can't even find anyone who wants to go.
Oh how things change lol
Try a different club mate. I’ve been to a few now, with remarkable different levels of attitudes to single guys, and varying degrees of ‘enjoyment’. It’s been an eye-opener for sure, how different these places, and more importantly the people who attend, can be "
The single men at chams come across very seedy. Floating from room to room, it's like a conveyer belt of men doing the rounds... After a while you'll see someone and then know who's coming around the corner next. I wouldn't want to be viewed in that light myself so I've not been as a single male. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Calm down now its not what you filty minded people are thinking
Why is it so hard to find a club partner?
I was on here a few years back and I had a fair few people message me asking if I would be up for accompanying them to chams... Now I can't even find anyone who wants to go.
Oh how things change lol
Try a different club mate. I’ve been to a few now, with remarkable different levels of attitudes to single guys, and varying degrees of ‘enjoyment’. It’s been an eye-opener for sure, how different these places, and more importantly the people who attend, can be
The single men at chams come across very seedy. Floating from room to room, it's like a conveyer belt of men doing the rounds... After a while you'll see someone and then know who's coming around the corner next. I wouldn't want to be viewed in that light myself so I've not been as a single male. "
im going next friday i will see if its still the same |
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Most of the clubs I've been to, there's always a seedy element, but it's not universally true and some places police it better than others.
Unless the place is completely seedy, being a friendly guy with social skills makes you stand out in a good way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most of the clubs I've been to, there's always a seedy element, but it's not universally true and some places police it better than others.
Unless the place is completely seedy, being a friendly guy with social skills makes you stand out in a good way. "
i agree with this. most of the towels wankers or zombie walkers wont get a look in, if im looking BUT a person who takes time to smile at me talk to me and not be a sheep, will get my attention and something else if chemistry is there |
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"Calm down now its not what you filty minded people are thinking
Why is it so hard to find a club partner?
I was on here a few years back and I had a fair few people message me asking if I would be up for accompanying them to chams... Now I can't even find anyone who wants to go.
Oh how things change lol
Try a different club mate. I’ve been to a few now, with remarkable different levels of attitudes to single guys, and varying degrees of ‘enjoyment’. It’s been an eye-opener for sure, how different these places, and more importantly the people who attend, can be
The single men at chams come across very seedy. Floating from room to room, it's like a conveyer belt of men doing the rounds... After a while you'll see someone and then know who's coming around the corner next. I wouldn't want to be viewed in that light myself so I've not been as a single male. "
Whilst I don’t visit clubs very often especially since the demise of Kestrels my only comment is that you don’t have to join the elephant patrol - When I have been fortunate to have fun with a lady or couple it’s been by not being part of the “patrols” rather more the opposite - making eye contact recognising the signs / body language - start some general chat and see where it goes - I remember a few years ago At Kestrels there was a couple in the pool and I made eye contact a number of times with the lady after a while exchanging smiles etc I walked over to the pool and got in to which she then said “ About time you joined me “ Result and a good time was had by all - Also sometimes you might just have a chat with a lady and nothing seems to happen but maybe hour or so later when maybe she’s fed up with being pestered she will come back up to you and ask if you fancy some fun or maybe less direct - Yes i’d Like to experience the different chemistry of going with a lady but that probably has to be someone you’ve met previously or maybe built up a good rapport with online |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Calm down now its not what you filty minded people are thinking
Why is it so hard to find a club partner?
I was on here a few years back and I had a fair few people message me asking if I would be up for accompanying them to chams... Now I can't even find anyone who wants to go.
Oh how things change lol
Try a different club mate. I’ve been to a few now, with remarkable different levels of attitudes to single guys, and varying degrees of ‘enjoyment’. It’s been an eye-opener for sure, how different these places, and more importantly the people who attend, can be
The single men at chams come across very seedy. Floating from room to room, it's like a conveyer belt of men doing the rounds... After a while you'll see someone and then know who's coming around the corner next. I wouldn't want to be viewed in that light myself so I've not been as a single male. "
Why would you be if you aren't joining the queue? Plus it's rare to see that happening. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What does the lady get from going with you?
I go with friends or on my own as there is no advantage to me going with a guy whatsoever!
Why does there have to be an "advantage" to you ?? "
Because it makes it no better for me to go with a guy but a lot of advantages for a guy to go with a lady!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What does the lady get from going with you?
I go with friends or on my own as there is no advantage to me going with a guy whatsoever!
"
Didn't say there has to an advantage just there is no advantage... |
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"What does the lady get from going with you?
I go with friends or on my own as there is no advantage to me going with a guy whatsoever!
Why does there have to be an "advantage" to you ??
Because it makes it no better for me to go with a guy but a lot of advantages for a guy to go with a lady!!! "
Yes I see that but you have not answered my question? Why does there have to be an "advantage to you" ? I do things which do not necessarily have an "advantage to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What does the lady get from going with you?
I go with friends or on my own as there is no advantage to me going with a guy whatsoever!
Why does there have to be an "advantage" to you ??
Because it makes it no better for me to go with a guy but a lot of advantages for a guy to go with a lady!!!
Yes I see that but you have not answered my question? Why does there have to be an "advantage to you" ? I do things which do not necessarily have an "advantage to me. "
OK ill answer
most men* who look for a club buddy are looking to reduced entry into a club and to be able to go on a couples night which single men arent always invited to. so us ladies often get offered to be chaperoned to a club so they can get in cheaper..
Most* i dont mean all men and i dont mean the OP either as he is respectful and polite |
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"Calm down now its not what you filty minded people are thinking
Why is it so hard to find a club partner?
I was on here a few years back and I had a fair few people message me asking if I would be up for accompanying them to chams... Now I can't even find anyone who wants to go.
Oh how things change lol
Try a different club mate. I’ve been to a few now, with remarkable different levels of attitudes to single guys, and varying degrees of ‘enjoyment’. It’s been an eye-opener for sure, how different these places, and more importantly the people who attend, can be
The single men at chams come across very seedy. Floating from room to room, it's like a conveyer belt of men doing the rounds... After a while you'll see someone and then know who's coming around the corner next. I wouldn't want to be viewed in that light myself so I've not been as a single male. "
Those ‘conveyor belts’ happen in all the clubs I’ve been to, along with the queues of guys hanging around the play areas, like mice sitting under the dinner table hoping for crumbs to fall....... 
From my experience; if you arrive at around 9.30, then fail to make any kind of connection before about midnight, just leave, there’ll be other nights |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What does the lady get from going with you?
I go with friends or on my own as there is no advantage to me going with a guy whatsoever!
Why does there have to be an "advantage" to you ??
Because it makes it no better for me to go with a guy but a lot of advantages for a guy to go with a lady!!!
Yes I see that but you have not answered my question? Why does there have to be an "advantage to you" ? I do things which do not necessarily have an "advantage to me. "
Did answer above lol because when a guy goes with a lady there are many advantages for him ... if I went with a guy there are no advantages at all! I never said there have to be advantages just there are none! So when guys ask (fairly often) to go to a club or a party with me I always answer "why? What do I get out of going with a stranger that I don't have already?" Not once has a guy been able to answer this!
Going with friends is a totally different scenario ...
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"What does the lady get from going with you?
I go with friends or on my own as there is no advantage to me going with a guy whatsoever!
Why does there have to be an "advantage" to you ??
Because it makes it no better for me to go with a guy but a lot of advantages for a guy to go with a lady!!!
Yes I see that but you have not answered my question? Why does there have to be an "advantage to you" ? I do things which do not necessarily have an "advantage to me.
OK ill answer
most men* who look for a club buddy are looking to reduced entry into a club and to be able to go on a couples night which single men arent always invited to. so us ladies often get offered to be chaperoned to a club so they can get in cheaper..
Most* i dont mean all men and i dont mean the OP either as he is respectful and polite "
This. Some even come right out and say I owe it to take them, show them the ropes, because it's unfair etc. And yes, of course they expect sex.
It may be unfair but I don't make the rules. And it's just another version of instashag except they often expect me to pay (or part pay) for the privilege!
Even if I did, I often need a wingman at clubs because... some people. No way am I trusting a complete stranger with that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just seems so, probably just me !!!"
So you're going to any off do (a night club or a party) and of course you'd take a stranger? From their point of view they'd get a party but what would you get out of it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suppose it is just me, I don't have to "get anything out of a situation". "
As I said it's not about getting anything out of it ... they are using me but going with them won't change my experience, if anything it could make it horrendous!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suppose it is just me, I don't have to "get anything out of a situation".
As I said it's not about getting anything out of it ... they are using me but going with them won't change my experience, if anything it could make it horrendous!! "
and some of the messages i have had asing make me cringe ( ibet you get the same) |
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"I suppose it is just me, I don't have to "get anything out of a situation".
As I said it's not about getting anything out of it ... they are using me but going with them won't change my experience, if anything it could make it horrendous!! "
No answer to that....!! |
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"I suppose it is just me, I don't have to "get anything out of a situation".
As I said it's not about getting anything out of it ... they are using me but going with them won't change my experience, if anything it could make it horrendous!! "
Absolutely. Why would I attach myself to a complete stranger for the night? Even if I was feeling altruistic, that's potentially as much as dangerous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suppose it is just me, I don't have to "get anything out of a situation". "
I think it's noble of you to take strangers to events! But the down side is it can ruin a night out very easily! |
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"I suppose it is just me, I don't have to "get anything out of a situation".
I think it's noble of you to take strangers to events! But the down side is it can ruin a night out very easily! "
You are probably being more specific than I am. I do things for folk just because I want to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The only thing I could offer is, great company (if I may say so myself) gayrenteed laughs, a wing man who isn't afraid to put pushy people in their place (not saying you ladies are not capable of handling a situation yourselves) but I got your back, some strangely funny dance moves if we were to go in to a musical playing room. And I'm sure there's more.
P.s I would never let a lady pay or even put anything towards it.
I also don't want a discounted rate as I am not tight nor do I mind paying money for a good evening. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suppose it is just me, I don't have to "get anything out of a situation".
I think it's noble of you to take strangers to events! But the down side is it can ruin a night out very easily!
You are probably being more specific than I am. I do things for folk just because I want to. "
Oh I love doing things for people! But I'm not risking a hard earned night out where I can have fun and laughs for what?
Guys that want to go with ladies to clubs or parties are mostly using that person to get what they want anyway ... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm not saying all guys btw just most! Hahahahaha
If you want to pair up for clubs ... make friends first! That might work out much better! "
I am trying x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not saying all guys btw just most! Hahahahaha
If you want to pair up for clubs ... make friends first! That might work out much better!
I am trying x"
Lol ... you'll do it!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've always been happy to club it alone. I met my club buddy when she was there as a single lady and I a single guy. We hit it off and met several times after in the club again, as singles. We eventually started meeting outside of the club scene and became very good mates, texting and meeting relatively regularly. We then decided to go as a couple but I think you need a good connection and trust to go as a non romantic/married couple and I'd never expect a lady who doesn't know me to acompany me as you just wouldn't feel comfortable I don't think.
I wasn't looking for a club buddy at the time, it just happened and although she's sadly moved away, we still keep in contact and meet privately now and then. We've known each other for over 5 years and I'm glad she's found another guy she knows from here too go to clubs with now.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've always been happy to club it alone. I met my club buddy when she was there as a single lady and I a single guy. We hit it off and met several times after in the club again, as singles. We eventually started meeting outside of the club scene and became very good mates, texting and meeting relatively regularly. We then decided to go as a couple but I think you need a good connection and trust to go as a non romantic/married couple and I'd never expect a lady who doesn't know me to acompany me as you just wouldn't feel comfortable I don't think.
I wasn't looking for a club buddy at the time, it just happened and although she's sadly moved away, we still keep in contact and meet privately now and then. We've known each other for over 5 years and I'm glad she's found another guy she knows from here too go to clubs with now.
"
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"I've always been happy to club it alone. I met my club buddy when she was there as a single lady and I a single guy. We hit it off and met several times after in the club again, as singles. We eventually started meeting outside of the club scene and became very good mates, texting and meeting relatively regularly. We then decided to go as a couple but I think you need a good connection and trust to go as a non romantic/married couple and I'd never expect a lady who doesn't know me to acompany me as you just wouldn't feel comfortable I don't think.
I wasn't looking for a club buddy at the time, it just happened and although she's sadly moved away, we still keep in contact and meet privately now and then. We've known each other for over 5 years and I'm glad she's found another guy she knows from here too go to clubs with now.
"
Yeah, this is great and I'm absolutely thrilled to do it like that when it happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are remarkable differences in the standards of single guys in clubs-
I always go as a single to my club and cultivate meetings for later on - I’m open to a buddy but you both have to be on the same page.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tend to go on my own unless its with a trusted play partner occasionally, but then again i have always had bigger balls than alot of men on here! (lol)
Most messages i get are weekends, asking me to hit a club as they need a plus 1 and they are never accepted
"
I kinda get the same tbh, and I'm definitely not going to go to a club with some mad random lol. But saying that, wouldnt have any qualms going with someone I knew |
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