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Methods to start up conversations with other couples on clubs.
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So we are a full swap couple and once we get on with a couple we like can happily get down and dirty with people in a club. But...
We are socially awkward as hell and spend the whole night wondering how to approch that couple we like to strike up a conversation. Normally we akwardly try and catch their eye, fail and then miss our chance. Are there any suggestions how to do this?
We would also love swinger speed dating or some kind of system at a club where you can let the club know which couples we like and if there's a match they let both parties know.
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
I would smile and ask if you can chat as you don't know anyone there.
Or ask if they smoke whilst waving your cigarettes about
Or comment about it being busy here tonight / hot/ chilly / music great or whatever.....and wait for their response.
When I was part of a couple we used to just chat to folk and not just pick out who we were interested in playing with. You can then go back to people later in the evening to ask if they would be interested in playing.
I suggest you start by chatting about random things initially and then look for playmates a little later in the evening. No need to go for sex chat early in the evening. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We were in a similar situation, being very new to this too. In our experience, it's no different from socialising in real life. Just talk about normal stuff. Don't put any pressure on yourself by thinking that this is swinging, or you are keen on playing with a couple. First and foremost, just look to have a pleasant chat without any agenda or expectations. If things proceed from there, good, if not, you'll at least have a familiar face to chat with at parties.
Regarding the social awkwardness, don't think there's a shortcut around that. Face up to it and take the plunge. What's the worse that can happen, they won't be interested. Big deal, move on to someone else who is on a similar wavelength as you. Once you've overcome this initial hurdle, you'll wonder why did you feel awkward in the first place! |
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We go into it assuming the other party is just as awkward as we are  Especially if they're on their own too.
Generally an approach with a big smile and "hello! We're going to do the big, awkward conversation starter now" seems to work and get a laugh. After that, you can go into how their night is going; have they been here or to other clubs before then go from there.
If you want to play and you've established that they're on the same level as you, mention that you're heading off to play in a bit. And you hope to bump into each other again. That leaves it open for them to follow you or to ditch you. |
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Where people sit can make it less or more awkward to approach them. If a couple sits on a low settee in a corner they may as well put barbed wire round themselves.
If they sit on high stools at a bar or high table it does make it easier to approach. |
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definatley sit by the bar and just strike up a general chit chat, the smoking area is a great place to meet people even if u don't smoke just go out for a bit of air, we find the worst thing to do is to sit in a corner and not interact with people if it's your first time in a club you usually get some one to show u around and this can act as a familiar face, in the club we go they have seating upstairs by the playrooms and we always find some one to have a chat to and then it leads on from this, the main thing is to go and have fun and go with no expectations if it happens it happens if not there's always the next time xx |
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By *ipsxxCouple
over a year ago
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We find the hot tub to be a big ice breaker .. we just chat about normal things like where people are from , have they been to other clubs etc..
Most people are the same and are glad to had a conversation xx |
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Best thing be yourselves, sit or stand in an accessible spot and never miss an opportunity to chat, Simple things like is the wine good? Been to many clubs etc? Their opinions of other clubs, that will also let you know how experienced they are or not and then move forward.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Where people sit can make it less or more awkward to approach them. If a couple sits on a low settee in a corner they may as well put barbed wire round themselves.
If they sit on high stools at a bar or high table it does make it easier to approach. "
True, and I don’t think people necessarily think about this. They just think ‘Ooh, comfy sofas’. |
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Oh god yes we often wish there was a bit more organisation like that, or at least options to participate. We often get facilitating with the place, turn around and everyone else had hooked up already  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So we are a full swap couple and once we get on with a couple we like can happily get down and dirty with people in a club. But...
We are socially awkward as hell and spend the whole night wondering how to approch that couple we like to strike up a conversation. Normally we akwardly try and catch their eye, fail and then miss our chance. Are there any suggestions how to do this?
We would also love swinger speed dating or some kind of system at a club where you can let the club know which couples we like and if there's a match they let both parties know.
"
I can empathise with you, having been chronically shy in the past, but it does sound a little bit like "my mate fancies your mate", and to me it wouldn't really fit in with the liberated and open nature of swinging.
A lot of people will tell you that confidence is alluring, so you might just need to put your big girl pants on, and go for it! What's the worse that could happen?
And fwiw, anyone who might be anxious about approaching us in a club, just walk up, say hi, and complement Mrs on her tattoos, or her outfit. You'll be right in!! |
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