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Bdsm nights help!
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By *east88 OP Couple
over a year ago
darlington |
Hi guys,
Any hints or tips where the best club nights are for newbies in this world, books we should read, very much into ropes, equipment, exploring pain .
We already swing in the hotwife scenario, but are keen to explore the more underground scene.
Sorry if we're rambling ha ha
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Join the fetish life website (that can’t be mentioned by name on here) and go to local Munches.
They are very friendly places to go, meet fellow kinksters, find out about events and workshops happening in the area.
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
Firstly with rope (and I know others will disagree) I would suggest lessons from people who know something about it. Therefore I would recommend finding the nearest peer rope event. This is people with some experience teaching others.
The books I would recommend are:
Douglas Kent Complete Shibari vol1 Land (buy it from him direct as it silly prices on Amazon).
Lee Harrington: 'Shibari You Can Use' and 'More Shibari You Can Use.
Chantra Rose: 'Bondage for Sex-
Peter Riggs: 'Rope Bondage the Smart Way' and
Midori Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage' but it has pictures rather than photographs.
I have not mentioned the Knotty Boys as they are not my style. But if you want to do pretty rope rather than connected rope then
Two Knotty Boys: 'Showing you the Ropes'
All books are on Amazon.
There are other books with more complicated details but any of the above will get you started.
Secondly with pain for pleasure,it depends on how you wish to apply it. Read up on articles on the safe places on the body to use. Attend workshops on the implements you want to choose.
Xstasia has its Fetish Weekend that has lots of learning I think in April.
I agree joining the fetish web site is a good step but you need to know how to find what you want. Otherwise it can be confusing. So look for the group section and find groups that interest you. Also look at local events. Better still make friends with someone already on the site and look at what interests them and use their interests as a basis for your searches.
Good Luck
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Another good book is SM 101: A realistic introduction. That's what we started with, it has a bit of everything and instructions for the likes of ropes. Nothing too extreme but let's you find out what you both like. |
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"Go to a local munch, talk to other kinksters.
What's a munch! And where do we find them cheers"
you've got munches in Newcastle, South shields, Sunderland, gateshead, Washington, Durham, darlo, Middlesbrough, Redcar and a few others. You need to get into the scene properly. A munch is the best way to find out more. The scene does like to see and meet people more than faceless messaging |
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You've also got unleashed Club night in Newcastle. The first Saturday of every month. Plus you have the dungeon club in Stanley on the first Thursday of each month. This starts up again on the first Thursday in March. Also there is the rope club in Stanley once a month. And finally you have liber8 in newcatle. A fun filled bdsm club night. This is only on 3 or 4 times a year. The bdsm scene does like to actually put a face to a name |
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"There are several swingers clubs that do Fetish events.
Have a look in your local area.
 "
the trouble is swingers clubs and a real bdsm club are poles apart. There is a little cross over but I've never ever seen anything like needleplay, corset piercing, judicial cp, electrics at any swingers club... Well not up this way anyway I havnt |
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By *0xyWoman
over a year ago
Warwick |
Check out Liberty Elite they have Fetish events on the first Sunday of each month.
There are also a couple of swinging events coming up with a kink theme but these are more soft kink.
If you're looking for more hardcore then try the Sunday event Embargo |
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Hull is a bit on the far side but I run a rope group last Saturday in the month where you can learn. We’re doing rope bondage for sex this month 
Xtasia are doing kink fest in August a whole weekend of learning. I’m one of the presenters this year too |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"There are several swingers clubs that do Fetish events.
Have a look in your local area.
the trouble is swingers clubs and a real bdsm club are poles apart. There is a little cross over but I've never ever seen anything like needleplay, corset piercing, judicial cp, electrics at any swingers club... Well not up this way anyway I havnt "
My fave club AtlantisEVOLUTION in Stoke is a swingers club, put hold fetish events monthly and I can assure you that corset piercing, electrics, suspension , needle play, whips, flogging, candles and lots more are all on the agenda. A demo and then free time is well organised by the team there. So it does happen at regular club's, but at seperate events. |
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"There are several swingers clubs that do Fetish events.
Have a look in your local area.
the trouble is swingers clubs and a real bdsm club are poles apart. There is a little cross over but I've never ever seen anything like needleplay, corset piercing, judicial cp, electrics at any swingers club... Well not up this way anyway I havnt "
HU9 have a violet wand special on thurs 27th June and I’ll also be doing a corset stapling. We don’t allow blood but other RACK activities are allowed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have a fetish night on every third Thursday on the month , it’s a great event that is also great for new people and we have people who run a number of events that would welcome you and help you settle in to this life style xxx |
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"There are several swingers clubs that do Fetish events.
Have a look in your local area.
the trouble is swingers clubs and a real bdsm club are poles apart. There is a little cross over but I've never ever seen anything like needleplay, corset piercing, judicial cp, electrics at any swingers club... Well not up this way anyway I havnt "
There's actually lots of clubs who can successfully run both types of events if they have the space and the right team.
We have been a successful BDSM club for 14 years, with more equipment than anyone could possibly use in a month, equipment that is unique to us and some of the most experienced Dominants around who lead workshops, short courses, are mentors for newbies and are our DM's during big events. You see some crazy shit in our place!! lol
xxx |
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The OP is a bit of a grab bag.
Books? There are bucket loads, and plenty of sites with good beginners lists - just remember that when you buy a book on BDSM you're only buying someone's opinions - so if I say start with Story of O, that's my opinion, and reflects nothing more than that I found a copy on a second hand book stall on a boring holiday with family many years ago.
The same goes for munches - you're going to a random meet up with people who may be just what you're looking for, or who might have all the charm and empathy of a Friday night with the local Freemasons. If you don't know what you;re looking for, you could be in a for disappointment, or worse, for being the target of the local 'expert' who latches onto every newbie like a lamprey.
CLubs are what you make of them. Every time we've been to the daytime bi party at Club F in Stanley there have been people using the dungeon and an experienced DM in place - if you're looking for strict dungeon etiquette it may not be for you, and I've never seen any sharps play (house rules because of H&S I think) but you could do worse than look and learn. By way of another example, we were at Quest on an afternoon recently, and as the mood somtimes takes us we had the magic poster tube of delight* with us, which led to Mrs Icebreaker receiving a very severe caning bookended by two quite full on multimen / single female sessions.
You're a couple. Do some porn research. Tick off the things you like, the things you don't, and prepare your list of things you want to try.
One recommendation above all? If you try bondage at home, buy good rope (Lovehoney do good stuff) and a pair of trauma shears that work with the rope - you may neve rneed them, but the reassurance is good.
Finally, enjoy.
*If you need to carry canes and crops around a poster tube of the kind art students sometimes use is a great holdall.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi guys,
Any hints or tips where the best club nights are for newbies in this world, books we should read, very much into ropes, equipment, exploring pain .
We already swing in the hotwife scenario, but are keen to explore the more underground scene.
Sorry if we're rambling ha ha
Xx"
Check out the Globe in Newcastle. They have an event called Liber8. That might be a good start for a night out. |
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"Hi guys,
Any hints or tips where the best club nights are for newbies in this world, books we should read, very much into ropes, equipment, exploring pain .
We already swing in the hotwife scenario, but are keen to explore the more underground scene.
Sorry if we're rambling ha ha
Xx
Check out the Globe in Newcastle. They have an event called Liber8. That might be a good start for a night out."
liber8 is only on 4 times a year |
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All as above but making friends is really the most important, once you have a good friend group that you regularly spend time with you get the constant advice and loads of ideas, you are able to be your natural kinky self in front of people and having a group of kinkster friends will take your social and play parties onto a new level totally you just learn so much from them
Over the years I’ve been learning mind play with a fully trained friend I can’t say the word btw, you can take that into a relationship with a partner that can take the kink experience into another level
I love the mindset of many of my friends, whilst I don’t know them the same way I do my vanilla friends the mindset of others kinksters makes a beautiful environment to be in. |
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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago
North Oxfordshire |
FWIW, I've found over the years that swinging is far more underground, in many ways, than BDSM.
I'd start by going to a club. Something that isn't too specialist. Just a general night. And talk to people. |
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