FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Le Boudoir I am afraid we feel that you do not meet the minimum standards we maintain here'
Le Boudoir I am afraid we feel that you do not meet the minimum standards we maintain here'
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We attended Le Boudoir for the first time in Aug last year as a couple (genuine, been together 18 yrs). It was a friday so not massively busy. We had a good time and had some fun in one of the themed rooms. We were planning on going this sat and emailed them to check we are still OK to attend. Only to receive an email saying they had sent us an email after our first attendance cancelling our provisional membership stating 'I am afraid we feel that you do not meet the minimum standards we maintain here. Firstly we never received such email and back in Oct i enquired about an event and they were very welcoming. So what does fit their standard??????Well my partner is a stunning south east asian woman and although i am not as stunning i don't consider myself a hunchback. We conducted ourselves well, and we were dressed smart. Actually our bottle of Vodka got stolen from the communal fridge leaving us around midnight with no drink. So is that the type of people that fit?
The guy on the desk seemed to quiz us regarding were we were from which is Newmarket and he asked where in Newmarket we lived as he ha d been there a few times. It seemed to take us a few explanations regarding which area.
I am writing this as i feel anyone thinking of going should be aware that registration does not guarantee entry and even if you go for the first time don't just go again as they might have cancelled your membership. that if Theor policy states they don't have to give you a reason that they don't like you. I would have almost accepted this if when we attended the place was full of 20-30 year old super models but it wasn't and they state in their terms that there is no upper age limit. The only thing for us was that the photo i submitted was about 3 years old having said it was clearly me. It's not like i sent a picture of Brad Pit.
TBH, it's quite insulting to receive such an email when you are quite sure you have done nothing wrong. |
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Up-date email from Le Boudoir
Just so you know what you are dealing with..
'With all due respect,
You are overweight and not attractive and your wife was not either.
I'm sorry, but you are not the right fit for this club.'
Very nice attitude!!
So - We will send pics to whoever wants to look and decide for themselves.
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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago
Hitchin |
This is what worries me about le boudoir...
my partner wants to go... he is fit, slimish, muscley arms etc. And then there’s me.... I worry that it’s me that’s gonna get refused. Makes me not want to apply. I’ve heard a few stories like this. |
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By *ooukMan
over a year ago
Skegness |
They want to be an elite club what it means is they want there own Sexual taste I find with elite clubs it more about what do you do for a living what the fuck does that do with fucking and do we find you sexy well eye candy nice but so is real players not wine drinkers acting like there a porn star. I fucked porn stars and worked with them and some are SHIT shags |
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By *ooukMan
over a year ago
Skegness |
"This is what worries me about le boudoir...
my partner wants to go... he is fit, slimish, muscley arms etc. And then there’s me.... I worry that it’s me that’s gonna get refused. Makes me not want to apply. I’ve heard a few stories like this. "
Well your sexy well in many eyes and I would not think there should be a issue on your looks I find a club you feel sexy in is always best over one that you go just to say your a member. well am not one of them cool cats I like events with dirty minded fun people in no matter there class or looks. some of the best nights have been at shitty looking venues with great people of all ages |
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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago
Hitchin |
"This is what worries me about le boudoir...
my partner wants to go... he is fit, slimish, muscley arms etc. And then there’s me.... I worry that it’s me that’s gonna get refused. Makes me not want to apply. I’ve heard a few stories like this.
Well your sexy well in many eyes and I would not think there should be a issue on your looks I find a club you feel sexy in is always best over one that you go just to say your a member. well am not one of them cool cats I like events with dirty minded fun people in no matter there class or looks. some of the best nights have been at shitty looking venues with great people of all ages"
Jaydees is my regular club, very friendly and accepting. They don’t pick and choose members based on appearance. they just expect their members to turn up well dressed (no jeans/trainers) looking good and to enjoy themselves |
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Honey, they don't deserve you.
You know what? the decor isn't all that great compared to VA or Xstasia. Still it's up to them. Problem was i never saw anyone there that we considered to be drop dead gorgeous |
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By *ooukMan
over a year ago
Skegness |
I enjoyed Radlett party`s |
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Stuff them that sounds awful,anyway if they thought like that then why did they let you in the first place. |
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By *teed99Man
over a year ago
Kettering |
"Honey, they don't deserve you.
You know what? the decor isn't all that great compared to VA or Xstasia. Still it's up to them. Problem was i never saw anyone there that we considered to be drop dead gorgeous "
As part of the staff team at The Vanilla Alternative (VA), I'm sure the owner will be pleased with your comments. Our visitors span the age range, are all shapes and sizes and come from a wide variety of backgrounds but they are all just wonderful people with a common desire to have a couple of hours of adult fun with other likeminded people in a nice environment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Up-date email from Le Boudoir
Just so you know what you are dealing with..
'With all due respect,
You are overweight and not attractive and your wife was not either.
I'm sorry, but you are not the right fit for this club.'
Very nice attitude!!
So - We will send pics to whoever wants to look and decide for themselves.
"
How extremely rude!
I've never been tempted to apply for le boudoir as I presumably wouldn't meet their criteria either, and prefer events which are full of normal people of all shapes, sizes and looks.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How rude!
The email they sent you is just offensive they could have worded that in a much more positive way oh well I guess that's probably put quite a lot of people off from attending then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Up-date email from Le Boudoir
Just so you know what you are dealing with..
'With all due respect,
You are overweight and not attractive and your wife was not either.
I'm sorry, but you are not the right fit for this club.'
Very nice attitude!!
So - We will send pics to whoever wants to look and decide for themselves.
How extremely rude!
I've never been tempted to apply for le boudoir as I presumably wouldn't meet their criteria either, and prefer events which are full of normal people of all shapes, sizes and looks.
"
I couldn't agree more.
Just because somebody is beautiful and has a great body does not make them sexy or a nice person automatically. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I still have a couples membership
To LB with my ex partner, Personally
I found the club to be over rated
With very little financial investment
Interior wise,It seemed to be lacking in atmosphere the few times we went
And certainly wasn’t full of the glamorous people they are trying to attract in what would seem a rather
Arrogant way |
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"Up-date email from Le Boudoir
Just so you know what you are dealing with..
'With all due respect,
You are overweight and not attractive and your wife was not either.
I'm sorry, but you are not the right fit for this club.'
Very nice attitude!!
So - We will send pics to whoever wants to look and decide for themselves.
"
I understand they want a certain "type" of person in their club.
Their club, their perogative.
There is however a polite and respectful way to deliver bad news.
They were neither.
Unfortunately clubs like this get away with disgusting attitudes and behaviours because there are literally hundreds of people lining up to get in.
Fuck 'em.
Take your custom elsewhere, where you'll be appreciated and respected. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is why I've never even looked twice there. I have serious self esteem issues and so not see myself as one of these beautiful people they accept so I just avoid.
In general swinging has been amazing for my confidence, I like the ladies back attitude of people in the scene when you attend clubs, how inclusive they are regardless of your age, size etc. I've never felt so sexy and accepted as I have in places like VA, Eurekas and Mingles. I'd much rather go to one of those inclusive clubs to socialise and play comfortably than worry if I was good enough somewhere like LB |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ugh so many typos. Really should proof read |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Up-date email from Le Boudoir
Just so you know what you are dealing with..
'With all due respect,
You are overweight and not attractive and your wife was not either.
I'm sorry, but you are not the right fit for this club.'
Very nice attitude!!
So - We will send pics to whoever wants to look and decide for themselves.
"
My god, how rude of them. Sounds like a place to avoid to me. Leave them to their elitist crap, at some point they may get their heads out of their own arses when they realise they are losing business to other clubs because of nasty emails and a rude attitude. Interestingly they haven't responded on this thread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a club I won't go near because I don't agree with this bullshit assessment of how attractive someone is. I'm a fan of inclusiveness and Le Boudair is the polar opposite of that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a club I won't go near because I don't agree with this bullshit assessment of how attractive someone is. I'm a fan of inclusiveness and Le Boudair is the polar opposite of that "
Spot on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Up-date email from Le Boudoir
Just so you know what you are dealing with..
'With all due respect,
You are overweight and not attractive and your wife was not either.
I'm sorry, but you are not the right fit for this club.'
Very nice attitude!!
So - We will send pics to whoever wants to look and decide for themselves.
"
I love that they put "with all due respect" at the start of such a vile email like so easyhow that cancels out the nastiness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One last thought. When all the Le Boudoir regulars start defending their club, let's just remember if someone started a thread on here saying that they'd been sent a message like that on here or been told it to the face no one, and I mean literally no one would be defending it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haha. Sounds like my kind of place  |
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Ok, so maintaining a degree of minimum standards constitutes 'elitism'? Then I guess we must be! Sadly, a minority of people feel that no matter how unkempt, lacking in personal grooming or just plain scruffy they are, that they are entitled. Of course, people don't like to be rejected, from his own lengthy correspondence I knew this guy wouldn't. But, he wasn't happy with the club's initial, polite, correspondence, which is why we were forced to be a little more blunt! Our 20,000 registrants and regulars who enjoy the club, support the fact that we DO maintain minimum standards and if that decision offends the sensibilities of some, I must apologise. But, as has been pointed out, there are plenty of venues that are eager to accommodate you and we wish you good luck there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so maintaining a degree of minimum standards constitutes 'elitism'? Then I guess we must be! Sadly, a minority of people feel that no matter how unkempt, lacking in personal grooming or just plain scruffy they are, that they are entitled. Of course, people don't like to be rejected, from his own lengthy correspondence I knew this guy wouldn't. But, he wasn't happy with the club's initial, polite, correspondence, which is why we were forced to be a little more blunt! Our 20,000 registrants and regulars who enjoy the club, support the fact that we DO maintain minimum standards and if that decision offends the sensibilities of some, I must apologise. But, as has been pointed out, there are plenty of venues that are eager to accommodate you and we wish you good luck there. "
There's a way a maintaining minomen standards (something all clubs have to varying degrees) without coming across as nasty and rude though |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
Yikes I’m supposed to be going to a birthday party there in March. I was about to apply but I’m old AND fat. I’ll never get in. Fuck em.
V x |
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Le Boudoir was on our 2019 list of clubs to try this year - now removed.x |
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Our online application was rejected from an 'elite' club due to being too old, polite message saying new members age restriction despite level of hotness. |
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The key phrase there was 'varying degrees'.... |
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We don't have an age restriction, we just think you should look after yourself, be presentable and well groomed. Are we saying that anyone who has contributed to this thread doesn't want that?  |
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"The key phrase there was 'varying degrees'.... "
No, the key phrase was "without coming across as nasty and rude though". |
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"Ok, so maintaining a degree of minimum standards constitutes 'elitism'? Then I guess we must be! Sadly, a minority of people feel that no matter how unkempt, lacking in personal grooming or just plain scruffy they are, that they are entitled. Of course, people don't like to be rejected, from his own lengthy correspondence I knew this guy wouldn't. But, he wasn't happy with the club's initial, polite, correspondence, which is why we were forced to be a little more blunt! Our 20,000 registrants and regulars who enjoy the club, support the fact that we DO maintain minimum standards and if that decision offends the sensibilities of some, I must apologise. But, as has been pointed out, there are plenty of venues that are eager to accommodate you and we wish you good luck there.
There's a way a maintaining minomen standards (something all clubs have to varying degrees) without coming across as nasty and rude though "
I guess when you've got a list of 20,000 registrants you can be as vile as you like.
One to avoid...... |
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"Ok, so maintaining a degree of minimum standards constitutes 'elitism'? Then I guess we must be! Sadly, a minority of people feel that no matter how unkempt, lacking in personal grooming or just plain scruffy they are, that they are entitled. Of course, people don't like to be rejected, from his own lengthy correspondence I knew this guy wouldn't. But, he wasn't happy with the club's initial, polite, correspondence, which is why we were forced to be a little more blunt! Our 20,000 registrants and regulars who enjoy the club, support the fact that we DO maintain minimum standards and if that decision offends the sensibilities of some, I must apologise. But, as has been pointed out, there are plenty of venues that are eager to accommodate you and we wish you good luck there. "
And yet despure knowing all that...... you initially let them in and took their money.
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Nothing vile about an honest opinion. Just because you don't like it, doesnt mean it isn't so.... |
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Blimey what gives them the right to diss nice people just because they don't tick all the boxes!!!! Like one fabster mentioned probably up their own arses can't see the wood for the tree's
We all have the right to fun I think I will give this club a miss |
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Better that they should have been turned them away at the door, with them having travelled?
They got to enjoy this evening. Which is why they wanted to return this weekend.
If it was about money, we wouldn't turn anyone away, would we? |
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"Nothing vile about an honest opinion. Just because you don't like it, doesnt mean it isn't so...."
Sick burn |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"Up-date email from Le Boudoir
Just so you know what you are dealing with..
'With all due respect,
You are overweight and not attractive and your wife was not either.
I'm sorry, but you are not the right fit for this club.'
Very nice attitude!!
So - We will send pics to whoever wants to look and decide for themselves.
"
. I am sorry to hear of your story.I applied the beginning of December for membership at Le Boudoir as a single guy I was not to sure I would be accepted because of my age but as I had seen reviews from other guys similar age to me I thought nonething ventured nonething gained.I sent the picture on my profile of me in a suit as I felt that would be the way they would expect the men to dress so let’s show them what I look like.Within 24 hours I received a email saying they were oversubscribed in my category although disappointed I accepted.A few days later I received a message from a guy on this site who I had been chatting with to say his membership had been accepted.The guy who was accepted is 3 years younger than me and British.I accept Le Boudoir decision after all it’s there right but I do wonder sometimes if nationality had something to do with it. |
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By *adyA01Woman
over a year ago
Wellington |
Sometimes, you come across a thread that just leaves you open mouthed with no sound coming out!!
Following this one.....
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Wow this club sounds charming. Think we’ll remove it from clubs to visit. People can be fat, ugly and still be well groomed better than pretty thin people. Will also have better personality’s than the ones up their arses. |
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"Ok, so maintaining a degree of minimum standards constitutes 'elitism'? Then I guess we must be! Sadly, a minority of people feel that no matter how unkempt, lacking in personal grooming or just plain scruffy they are, that they are entitled. Of course, people don't like to be rejected, from his own lengthy correspondence I knew this guy wouldn't. But, he wasn't happy with the club's initial, polite, correspondence, which is why we were forced to be a little more blunt! Our 20,000 registrants and regulars who enjoy the club, support the fact that we DO maintain minimum standards and if that decision offends the sensibilities of some, I must apologise. But, as has been pointed out, there are plenty of venues that are eager to accommodate you and we wish you good luck there. "
So why were they allowed in in the first place? |
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[Removed by poster at 10/01/19 08:18:20] |
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"Better that they should have been turned them away at the door, with them having travelled?
They got to enjoy this evening. Which is why they wanted to return this weekend.
If it was about money, we wouldn't turn anyone away, would we?"
Oh right you didn't have the balls to tell them face to face. |
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Yes you are right.. I should have turned them away at the door. I'm just too forgiving some times! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so maintaining a degree of minimum standards constitutes 'elitism'? Then I guess we must be! Sadly, a minority of people feel that no matter how unkempt, lacking in personal grooming or just plain scruffy they are, that they are entitled. Of course, people don't like to be rejected, from his own lengthy correspondence I knew this guy wouldn't. But, he wasn't happy with the club's initial, polite, correspondence, which is why we were forced to be a little more blunt! Our 20,000 registrants and regulars who enjoy the club, support the fact that we DO maintain minimum standards and if that decision offends the sensibilities of some, I must apologise. But, as has been pointed out, there are plenty of venues that are eager to accommodate you and we wish you good luck there.
And yet despure knowing all that...... you initially let them in and took their money.
"
But your email to them didn't say any of those things it said that he was overweight and that the wife wasn't attractive.
You haven't done yourself any favours with this response and actually "even if I did fit your minimum standards" I would avoid like the plague.
There are ways of handling people and I think yours are exceptionally disrespectful and damn right rude! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes you are right.. I should have turned them away at the door. I'm just too forgiving some times!"
And yes you should have done rather than accepting their money and then sending a disrespectful email! |
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Your not missing anything.
We had booked to go September last year.
They didnt get back to us until the night we were due to attend.
Poor attitude from staff and the facilities are not the best.
We left early with another couple and went to OP and had a fantastic night.  |
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By *adyA01Woman
over a year ago
Wellington |
"That called a silent orgasm.  "
Is there such a thing as a silent orgasm?? Damn someone must be doing it wrong...
Mine are definitely noisy  |
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I have no issue with clubs deciding who they will and will not let in, but I agree there was no need for such a rude email. Much better to just tell the guy his application was rejected and refuse to engage in any further correspondence.
The other side of the coin is, if you do get rejected, don't pressure for reasons. You won't like what you get. |
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[Removed by poster at 10/01/19 08:45:22] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That called a silent orgasm. "
Hard currency does not speak but gives silent orgasm ... |
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Agreed above. We declined politely, but dear old Rocco just kept pushing for a rewson... I concede I probably didn't need to tell him the truth, but he wasn't going to leave it until we did? Sorry Rocco. |
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"Ok, so maintaining a degree of minimum standards constitutes 'elitism'? Then I guess we must be! Sadly, a minority of people feel that no matter how unkempt, lacking in personal grooming or just plain scruffy they are, that they are entitled. Of course, people don't like to be rejected, from his own lengthy correspondence I knew this guy wouldn't. But, he wasn't happy with the club's initial, polite, correspondence, which is why we were forced to be a little more blunt! Our 20,000 registrants and regulars who enjoy the club, support the fact that we DO maintain minimum standards and if that decision offends the sensibilities of some, I must apologise. But, as has been pointed out, there are plenty of venues that are eager to accommodate you and we wish you good luck there. "
20,000 registrants and regulars? That's less exclusive than Butlins!
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Signing off for a while lovely people, got a pang for pancakes...
But don't worry, I'll be back later, haven't had this much fun since the wife told me she loved anal!
Ta ta xx |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Ok, so maintaining a degree of minimum standards constitutes 'elitism'? Then I guess we must be! Sadly, a minority of people feel that no matter how unkempt, lacking in personal grooming or just plain scruffy they are, that they are entitled. Of course, people don't like to be rejected, from his own lengthy correspondence I knew this guy wouldn't. But, he wasn't happy with the club's initial, polite, correspondence, which is why we were forced to be a little more blunt! Our 20,000 registrants and regulars who enjoy the club, support the fact that we DO maintain minimum standards and if that decision offends the sensibilities of some, I must apologise. But, as has been pointed out, there are plenty of venues that are eager to accommodate you and we wish you good luck there.
And yet despure knowing all that...... you initially let them in and took their money.
But your email to them didn't say any of those things it said that he was overweight and that the wife wasn't attractive.
You haven't done yourself any favours with this response and actually "even if I did fit your minimum standards" I would avoid like the plague.
There are ways of handling people and I think yours are exceptionally disrespectful and damn right rude!"
Totally agree. |
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Going to be slated, but we can see where the owners are coming from to an extent. There are elite parties in vanilla life too, that we may or may not be invited to, we wouldn’t persist for reasons why if we weren’t invited! Chances are we probably wouldn’t get excepted at the club either, but they’re honest about what kind of people they want attending their club at least. We personally wouldn’t meet anyone unless we both found them attractive, and they’re personality matched, pretty much what they’re doing at their club. Im sure there are plenty of other clubs you could go to, just like there are plenty of other people we could meet, if someone decides we’re not their cup of tea. |
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"Going to be slated, but we can see where the owners are coming from to an extent. There are elite parties in vanilla life too, that we may or may not be invited to, we wouldn’t persist for reasons why if we weren’t invited! Chances are we probably wouldn’t get excepted at the club either, but they’re honest about what kind of people they want attending their club at least. We personally wouldn’t meet anyone unless we both found them attractive, and they’re personality matched, pretty much what they’re doing at their club. Im sure there are plenty of other clubs you could go to, just like there are plenty of other people we could meet, if someone decides we’re not their cup of tea."
I also note that the OP got his initial invite on the basis of an old photo. I may be wrong, but I suspect said photo showed him somewhat slimmer. In which case, he only has himself to blame for his subsequent rejection. |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
Hmmmm this is interesting and I hope no one says anything that gets it pulled down. I’m
Super glad the owners have joined the discussion. I did do the photo application ages ago and was accepted but never went. I was planning on restarting my application to go to a fellow fabsters birthday party in March. Now I have heard really good things about this club and it was on my list of must do in 2019 but I am a little disappointed in the slightly unprofessional response from the owners.
I understand that actually we are just a handful of potential customers and possibly not overly important to the club bottom line. But given that we tend to tell others about what clubs to go to (especially those of us with lots of clubbing experience), if I were the owner I’d be explaining this with slightly more professional overtones.
I appreciate a club doing all it can to ensure that it’s attendees look great, but I also appreciate that looking great is possible for all sizes, shapes, colours, backgrounds.
I for one, will make a judgment based on how this thread goes. Do you care? Maybe not and that’s ok.
Like we’ve already said. There are other places to go
V x |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
"Going to be slated, but we can see where the owners are coming from to an extent. There are elite parties in vanilla life too, that we may or may not be invited to, we wouldn’t persist for reasons why if we weren’t invited! Chances are we probably wouldn’t get excepted at the club either, but they’re honest about what kind of people they want attending their club at least. We personally wouldn’t meet anyone unless we both found them attractive, and they’re personality matched, pretty much what they’re doing at their club. Im sure there are plenty of other clubs you could go to, just like there are plenty of other people we could meet, if someone decides we’re not their cup of tea.
I also note that the OP got his initial invite on the basis of an old photo. I may be wrong, but I suspect said photo showed him somewhat slimmer. In which case, he only has himself to blame for his subsequent rejection. "
And I agree with that. But the initial visit should have explained. And if the guy was still smartly dressed, presented well, effort duly made etc etc then (unless there’s a no fatty policy that the club have denied) then it shouldn’t have been a problem.
V x |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
And would it have been a problem if he’d lost lots of weight in the intervening years but pretty much nothing else had changed.
V x |
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I didn’t get accepted either
The blonde x |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
"I didn’t get accepted either
The blonde x"
Bloody hell Im doomed then 
V x |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Going to be slated, but we can see where the owners are coming from to an extent. There are elite parties in vanilla life too, that we may or may not be invited to, we wouldn’t persist for reasons why if we weren’t invited! Chances are we probably wouldn’t get excepted at the club either, but they’re honest about what kind of people they want attending their club at least. We personally wouldn’t meet anyone unless we both found them attractive, and they’re personality matched, pretty much what they’re doing at their club. Im sure there are plenty of other clubs you could go to, just like there are plenty of other people we could meet, if someone decides we’re not their cup of tea.
I also note that the OP got his initial invite on the basis of an old photo. I may be wrong, but I suspect said photo showed him somewhat slimmer. In which case, he only has himself to blame for his subsequent rejection.
And I agree with that. But the initial visit should have explained. And if the guy was still smartly dressed, presented well, effort duly made etc etc then (unless there’s a no fatty policy that the club have denied) then it shouldn’t have been a problem.
V x "
I am afraid that the harsh truth is that clubs like this do consider people who are significantly overweight as "not meeting their standards". I don't know if they say that explicitly, but it's not hard to work out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bugger me you obviously need a bmi of 5 to get to go to this place |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmmm this is interesting and I hope no one says anything that gets it pulled down. I’m
Super glad the owners have joined the discussion. I did do the photo application ages ago and was accepted but never went. I was planning on restarting my application to go to a fellow fabsters birthday party in March. Now I have heard really good things about this club and it was on my list of must do in 2019 but I am a little disappointed in the slightly unprofessional response from the owners.
I understand that actually we are just a handful of potential customers and possibly not overly important to the club bottom line. But given that we tend to tell others about what clubs to go to (especially those of us with lots of clubbing experience), if I were the owner I’d be explaining this with slightly more professional overtones.
I appreciate a club doing all it can to ensure that it’s attendees look great, but I also appreciate that looking great is possible for all sizes, shapes, colours, backgrounds.
I for one, will make a judgment based on how this thread goes. Do you care? Maybe not and that’s ok.
Like we’ve already said. There are other places to go
V x "
There aren't really other places in central London though. We really struggle in this area. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
To Begin with we were neither of us scruffy or lacking in personal grooming unlike some of the single guys that approached us that night. You make us sound like we had just feel out of a farm shed.
You were very suspicious of us and quizzed us regarding where we lived as you knew our town quite well. We felt at the time that you simply didn't really like us.
Anyway we never even received the initial e,ail that you said was sent after our visit and in Oct when i inquired regarding the even with live music my query was well received and responded to.
Had you have sent the email promptly after our first visit then maybe it would have been ok.
I will let everyone on this thread think how we look as i will send them pics. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"To Begin with we were neither of us scruffy or lacking in personal grooming unlike some of the single guys that approached us that night. You make us sound like we had just feel out of a farm shed.
You were very suspicious of us and quizzed us regarding where we lived as you knew our town quite well. We felt at the time that you simply didn't really like us.
Anyway we never even received the initial e,ail that you said was sent after our visit and in Oct when i inquired regarding the even with live music my query was well received and responded to.
Had you have sent the email promptly after our first visit then maybe it would have been ok.
I will let everyone on this thread think how we look as i will send them pics."
Did the photo you initially sent show you as slimmer than you are now? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
I’m Not sure sending pictures to thread participants is a great idea. I’d like to hear some more from the club on their acceptance criteria in a professional manner.
I may well do the application again and see.
V x |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 10/01/19 09:34:05] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To Begin with we were neither of us scruffy or lacking in personal grooming unlike some of the single guys that approached us that night. You make us sound like we had just feel out of a farm shed.
You were very suspicious of us and quizzed us regarding where we lived as you knew our town quite well. We felt at the time that you simply didn't really like us.
Anyway we never even received the initial e,ail that you said was sent after our visit and in Oct when i inquired regarding the even with live music my query was well received and responded to.
Had you have sent the email promptly after our first visit then maybe it would have been ok.
I will let everyone on this thread think how we look as i will send them pics."
Bit of a nasty situation to be honest, the owner from his posts comes across as nasty and narrow minded,and quite flippant as well.
Just looked at the profile pics of the op and although only the female pics,they seem fine.
Based on the clubs ctriteria I dont think we would be welcome either.
Find a club that is not such elitist |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"..........
I will let everyone on this thread think how we look as i will send them pics."
Well your ass and pussy pics certainly pass our minimum standards!  
As for this and every other club, they should all (imho) have minimum standards they adhere to. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"To Begin with we were neither of us scruffy or lacking in personal grooming unlike some of the single guys that approached us that night. You make us sound like we had just feel out of a farm shed.
You were very suspicious of us and quizzed us regarding where we lived as you knew our town quite well. We felt at the time that you simply didn't really like us.
Anyway we never even received the initial e,ail that you said was sent after our visit and in Oct when i inquired regarding the even with live music my query was well received and responded to.
Had you have sent the email promptly after our first visit then maybe it would have been ok.
I will let everyone on this thread think how we look as i will send them pics.
Bit of a nasty situation to be honest, the owner from his posts comes across as nasty and narrow minded,and quite flippant as well.
Just looked at the profile pics of the op and although only the female pics,they seem fine.
Based on the clubs ctriteria I dont think we would be welcome either.
Find a club that is not such elitist "
Yes fine and probably as old as the op's were. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"..........
I will let everyone on this thread think how we look as i will send them pics.
Well your ass and pussy pics certainly pass our minimum standards!
As for this and every other club, they should all (imho) have minimum standards they adhere to. "
I'm not sure the post is about minimum standards, which I agree is important by the way.
I think the post is more about respect, courtesy, manners and ethics.
I might be wrong though. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
You all have our pics, scruffy and bad personal hygiene / grooming????? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is what worries me about le boudoir...
my partner wants to go... he is fit, slimish, muscley arms etc. And then there’s me.... I worry that it’s me that’s gonna get refused. Makes me not want to apply. I’ve heard a few stories like this.
Same here... I'm holding off going as I'm curvy but a size 14/16 I'm probably a size 15 lol. I'm not ugly. I know that. But I feel that I wouldn't dream of going there until I've reached my ideal size of 10/12. Trim is very handsome and slim build with muscles he's building. He would I'm sure be a hit there but I think they would be too judgemental towards me as I'm not an Instagram gymshark model.
Eski"
There you go..... This club’s standards are giving you the incentive and motivation to get down to your ideal size.  (said with tongue in cheek so please don’t vilify me) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I go by what Grouch Marx once said ‘’I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member’’ |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is what worries me about le boudoir...
my partner wants to go... he is fit, slimish, muscley arms etc. And then there’s me.... I worry that it’s me that’s gonna get refused. Makes me not want to apply. I’ve heard a few stories like this. "
Girl if they refuse you fuck em your gorgeous xx |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 10/01/19 10:08:46] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Well this makes for awkward reading looks like some people could do with a box of daz lol
I've been to le boudoir but to a specific fetish event so it wasn't open to normal clientele which is why I swerved the beautiful people rule lol
I'm torn on this. Clubs have the right to have rules for membership but when they blur the lines like they seem to have in this case it can be tricky.
Parties like killing kittens apply the same sort of criteria but it is well publicised. Not sure if le boudoir have their exacting criteria clearly set out on their website?
The attitude of, I presume, the owners on this thread is pretty appalling to be fair. I get that they deserve the right to reply but there are better ways of doing it in my opinion.
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
The owner's responses remind me of Basil Fawlty's attitude towards his customers... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"The owner's responses remind me of Basil Fawlty's attitude towards his customers..."
glad I wasn't the only one thinking that |
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By *azmar62Couple
over a year ago
Hinckley |
We went once to a privately organised party, when we got there 50% of the guest had been turned away, we didn’t bother going in, we got in the car, went up the A1 to VA, all the guests were there, had an amazing night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The owner's responses remind me of Basil Fawlty's attitude towards his customers..."
Don’t mention the War!!
 |
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By *arbellsWoman
over a year ago
Cambridge |
As other people have stated clubs have the right to have 'standards' whatever they perceive 'beauty' to look like but the way it was handled is absolutely disgusting. Not professional in any sense of the word. Would you want to go back to a club like that OP? Seems like you dodged a bullet...I know it might be a trek but Jaydees and The VA are awesome clubs. Get a hotel and do one on Friday and other on Saturday |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Anyone in Greater London looking for a more welcoming alternative, head to OurPlace4Fun in Wood Green. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Thanks, actually we live in Newmarket so are quite close to VA and Jaydees |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Up-date email from Le Boudoir
Just so you know what you are dealing with..
'With all due respect,
You are overweight and not attractive and your wife was not either.
I'm sorry, but you are not the right fit for this club.'
Very nice attitude!!
So - We will send pics to whoever wants to look and decide for themselves.
"
Who the hell runs that place?! So rude! And if they think your partner is overweight they need to go Specsavers.
Stuck up c**ts. |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
Yep they did the same to me no explanation. Even sent me invites to attend parties.
Asked them for an explanation no reply
I think this club has some form of discrimination policy
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Yep they did the same to me no explanation. Even sent me invites to attend parties.
Asked them for an explanation no reply
I think this club has some form of discrimination policy
"
Their "discrimination" policy is against people not considered to be conventionally attractive. Which basically means the older and the heavier will have a job getting in. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Up-date email from Le Boudoir
Just so you know what you are dealing with..
'With all due respect,
You are overweight and not attractive and your wife was not either.
I'm sorry, but you are not the right fit for this club.'
Very nice attitude!!
So - We will send pics to whoever wants to look and decide for themselves.
Who the hell runs that place?! So rude! And if they think your partner is overweight they need to go Specsavers.
Stuck up c**ts. "
From the way its written, it seems as if they were saying his partner is not attractive, not that she is overweight. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
When they were advertising black boudoir over a year ago,I received a friends request from the club on here,it's still there not accepted as I know I wouldn't be accepted as a member,I understand there criteria,and there not the only place I'm not welcome,as I'm not Mary poppins (practically perfect)
Sometimes even the Mary Poppins types can get rejected,I think they just find it alot harder to accept,welcome to my world |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Swinging is a brutal world. You are going to be judged on your looks, your weight and your age. That's because when deciding if you want to have sex with someone those are all significant factors.
If you get upset on being judged on those grounds, swinging may not be for you. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
What vile messages from the club owner. Definitely one to avoid, not that they'd let me or my partners in.
Fuck you... Or not... |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
So this has happened to a few people. I PUT A review of the club after my experience when they vancleed my membership without telling me Their reply was a pack of lies. Never 're never any emails saying they cancelled my membership. I did turn up I admit but did not demand entry. J explained i was a member but had not been there for a while. And if I couldn't get in because I hadn't pre booked I would have been fine with it
They said it was ok took my money and then looked me up and said I had been red listed. No reason given.Nasty way to treat people |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Looks like they accepted membership to people to start their club and once they got their "beautiful" people coming they had a relook and cancelled the ones they felt didn't fit Thier criteria....nasty way of running a club |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is horrendous never even knew u had to have any credentials to be a member of a club,apart from behaving in a respectful mAnner? Its vile, so superficial and quite frankly cant see why it would be appealing. Who’d want to be accepted with them type of judges. Not me
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We love Le Boudoir .
Please don't stop veting your clients ...it's the reason we go.
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I’m a member. I’m old. I’m hairy. I’m bisexual. I’ve got a pot belly. I’m bearded, an immigrant and voted Remain. I accept life as it happens and move on.
The OP has published selective parts of private correspondence to denigrate a much needed club. He should accept the decision gracefully.
I’ve visited the club pretty much since it opened. I was refused membership but turned up with a female partner and got one of the night passes. The owners emailed the following day saying they made a mistake judging me on my photo alone. My attitude swing things so I was ‘in’
Body shape plays a part in but it is not everything. Good manners, grace, dress sense and attitude are key to everything in life not just swinging.
I read a lot of status’s, verifications and use private notes extensively. I have various things noted from OPs updates so I wouldn’t play with them based on what they’ve previously said.
I understand why the club let them in rather than say no. A day pass doesn’t guarantee membership. If you’ve travelled miles to visit being told no is a major blow to your ego and night. If the membership photo is out of date then you only have yourselves to blame.
Any road up, what’s done is done. People have the right to spend their money and take custom wherever they want. LB appeals to a part of the market and not everyone can be in it. My age puts me into an exciting demographic soon. I for one can’t wait.
Oh the person having their birthday party in March is me. I have had my last two there. The 50+ couples and singles I have invited share my outlook and attitude. A complete mix of body shapes, so it will be a bloody fun night.
Apply away for membership. It really is worth it.
MHG |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"When they were advertising black boudoir over a year ago,I received a friends request from the club on here,it's still there not accepted as I know I wouldn't be accepted as a member,I understand there criteria,and there not the only place I'm not welcome,as I'm not Mary poppins (practically perfect)
Sometimes even the Mary Poppins types can get rejected,I think they just find it alot harder to accept,welcome to my world"
Hehe.
Been rejected as well. Only applied because their existing male members kept asking me to go with them. Ah well... They clearly know better what their male customers want.
Just got accepted by VA, where I applied for the exact same reason. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Up-date email from Le Boudoir
Just so you know what you are dealing with..
'With all due respect,
You are overweight and not attractive and your wife was not either.
I'm sorry, but you are not the right fit for this club.'
Very nice attitude!!
So - We will send pics to whoever wants to look and decide for themselves.
Who the hell runs that place?! So rude! And if they think your partner is overweight they need to go Specsavers.
Stuck up c**ts.
From the way its written, it seems as if they were saying his partner is not attractive, not that she is overweight. "
Oh yeah I misread that bit. But still that is very rude. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks, actually we live in Newmarket so are quite close to VA and Jaydees"
VA and hayseed both are nice clubs and staff are welcoming and professional. I met some amazing people in both clubs from all ages, types, size, colour and walk of life. VA does amazing bi parties every first Friday of a month. I can guarantee you will be treated with respect and will have lots of fun at this venue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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VA is ok ...just don't go in the hot tub/pool unless you like bathing in other peoples cum and other stuff ...some like that sort of thing
Jaydees is better.
Le Boudoir has an amazing dungeon area.
Our two favourite clubs are Jaydees and Le Boudoir.
Chalk and cheese. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I didn’t get accepted either
The blonde x
Bloody hell Im doomed then
V x "
I (hayley) was going to attend for a friend's birthday and was also rejected.
Not going to lie it stung we go to a lot of clubs and have never had an issue. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I do agree with most of what you are saying. However we are not badly groomed scruffy shitbags... as he is somewhat implying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do agree with most of what you are saying. However we are not badly groomed scruffy shitbags... as he is somewhat implying "
People get confused with day to day businesses and the clubs.
The clubs on the whole,are run by individuals who are in the lifestyle and want to provide a safe and friendly place to play.
If you ran an event you may want to set some ground rules yourself.
Indeed we are sure you do not play with whoever and have a type you go for.
These are people replying to you not corporate organisations.
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
A little tale of karma for you.....
We were rejected for membership at a well known, selective swinging 'club' which takes it's parties around the country. This was around 9 years ago.
The same company approached us to hire our club for an exclusive party 2 years ago. We rejected them and they were pissed.
One of my finer moments....lol |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
NOW THIS IS THE BEST YET AND HAS MADE MY DAY... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"A little tale of karma for you.....
We were rejected for membership at a well known, selective swinging 'club' which takes it's parties around the country. This was around 9 years ago.
The same company approached us to hire our club for an exclusive party 2 years ago. We rejected them and they were pissed.
One of my finer moments....lol"
Haha well done you |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m a member. I’m old. I’m hairy. I’m bisexual. I’ve got a pot belly. I’m bearded, an immigrant and voted Remain. I accept life as it happens and move on.
The OP has published selective parts of private correspondence to denigrate a much needed club. He should accept the decision gracefully.
I’ve visited the club pretty much since it opened. I was refused membership but turned up with a female partner and got one of the night passes. The owners emailed the following day saying they made a mistake judging me on my photo alone. My attitude swing things so I was ‘in’
Body shape plays a part in but it is not everything. Good manners, grace, dress sense and attitude are key to everything in life not just swinging.
I read a lot of status’s, verifications and use private notes extensively. I have various things noted from OPs updates so I wouldn’t play with them based on what they’ve previously said.
I understand why the club let them in rather than say no. A day pass doesn’t guarantee membership. If you’ve travelled miles to visit being told no is a major blow to your ego and night. If the membership photo is out of date then you only have yourselves to blame.
Any road up, what’s done is done. People have the right to spend their money and take custom wherever they want. LB appeals to a part of the market and not everyone can be in it. My age puts me into an exciting demographic soon. I for one can’t wait.
Oh the person having their birthday party in March is me. I have had my last two there. The 50+ couples and singles I have invited share my outlook and attitude. A complete mix of body shapes, so it will be a bloody fun night.
Apply away for membership. It really is worth it.
MHG "
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"A little tale of karma for you.....
We were rejected for membership at a well known, selective swinging 'club' which takes it's parties around the country. This was around 9 years ago.
The same company approached us to hire our club for an exclusive party 2 years ago. We rejected them and they were pissed.
One of my finer moments....lol"
Karmas a bitch lol , bet you felt great x |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Devils advocate here, never been, doubt I'd pass boot camp anyway.
Working in a customer facing role can be absolutely tiresome and exhaustive at times, especially when you get the types that simply just won't accept what you're telling them. They push and push. They feel they're always right.
Every company has their own set of rules, and REGARDLESS of whether we agree with them or not, they are what they are.
I myself had enough a few days ago, a customer was rude, swore at me, effectively tried to use bullying tactics in front of the female he was clearly making a failed attempt at impressing. I shouldn't have done it but I called the moron an "ignorant fucker" and banned him from entering our premises again.
Some people do push ya.
Yes, customers are humans who deserve to be treated with respect... but so do staff.
I haven't seen the corresepodnace in this case, but there's every chance and also maybe no chance that the customer here, the OP in this case, was one of those that simply won't fucking let it go.
As I say, no judgement on either part as I've chuff all to gain either way. Merely offering a differing perspective.
P |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"Looks like they accepted membership to people to start their club and once they got their "beautiful" people coming they had a relook and cancelled the ones they felt didn't fit Thier criteria....nasty way of running a club"
yep agree with that summery. It had just opened when I joined diddnt have a problem taking my money then
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"A little tale of karma for you.....
We were rejected for membership at a well known, selective swinging 'club' which takes it's parties around the country. This was around 9 years ago.
The same company approached us to hire our club for an exclusive party 2 years ago. We rejected them and they were pissed.
One of my finer moments....lol Karmas a bitch lol , bet you felt great x"
I'm ashamed to say that I gloated and it felt wonderful!!!!! Hahaha |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Jesus.. Agreeing with most here, yes they do have a right for standards but I'm gobsmacked what a disgusting way to deal with customers who have paid previously and future customers seeing all of this, all they have to do now is see your previous threads you've posted in.
There's a way to politely decline, you didn't have to make them feel like shit about themselves even if he pushed as you say. It's pure nasty.
I wouldnt want to go even if someone paid me. It's not about the event it's about the company you keep and if the staff are appalling and your alcohol gets nicked. Pass |
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Well.....heard enough in the first half of this thread to know that even if we were what the club wanted from attendees and they were to offer to let us party for free.....I'd still fxxk off elsewhere! Glad we're only normal folk and dont have to worry about being part of the up their own ass elite crowd #yawn  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't read all the replies but this is shocking. Jaysus!! Is it even legal!?? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
We are members of VA, Xstasia, Jaydees and ourplace for fun and have no problems. I know they have a right to refuse. All i did was simply point out that i felt we looked ok to be accepted especially based on other people that were there that night.
it didn't warrant such a reply. If he had of just said we reserve the right to not give a reason i would have been fine. But i am not accepting that and also going so far as to insult my partner who is nothing like he describes and i will send a pic to anyone who asks.
I knew it was a difficult place to get in and as has been stated a pic is not the same as the person and personality. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
"I didn’t get accepted either
The blonde x
Bloody hell Im doomed then
V x
I (hayley) was going to attend for a friend's birthday and was also rejected.
Not going to lie it stung we go to a lot of clubs and have never had an issue."
Fucking hell Hayley. I’ve no chance.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"A little tale of karma for you.....
We were rejected for membership at a well known, selective swinging 'club' which takes it's parties around the country. This was around 9 years ago.
The same company approached us to hire our club for an exclusive party 2 years ago. We rejected them and they were pissed.
One of my finer moments....lol Karmas a bitch lol , bet you felt great x
I'm ashamed to say that I gloated and it felt wonderful!!!!! Hahaha "
Wounder how many of their members are now waiting for an e mail saying they are no longer welcome as they dont meet their standards anymore |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Ok, so here is my 'pushy' email. IN FACT HERE IS THE WHOLE CHAIN actually only 3 emails.
Us
Hi, we are planning on coming this Sat and just wanted to make sure our membership is ok?
Our first visit was about 6 months ago.
Thanks
Brian (Roccoscouple)
LB
Sent: Wednesday, January 9, 2019 5:30 PM
To: B tol
Subject: Re: Sat
Hello Brian,
No, I am afraid that is not possible. We emailed you after your attendance in August and explained that our grant of provisional membership was not going to be extended to full membership.
I am afraid we feel that you do not meet the minimum standards we maintain here.
That email may have gone to ********.com, because that is the email used on that registration.
we wish you better luck elsewhere.
Us
I have just done a search on my DJ account (i keep this account as it is private and therefore the kids don't see it). I cannot find the email you refer to..
In fact in October i emailed you regarding some details about possibly attending one night 7 asked details regarding the style of your live music performer and you answered me positively even giving me a youtube link for the performer.
At the end of this email you welcome us if we decided to come.
So what aspect of us does not meet the standards? My partner Jennifer is (i feel) and attractive South East Asian woman (recent picture attached) and although I'm not as beautiful as Jenny i don't consider myself hideous looking. I don't think we looked too out of place that evening we attended.
The pic of us together was taken at Isle of Wight festival last summer (2018)
I repeat we have received no such email.
So again we are curious as to why we don't fit.
Kind regards
Brian
LB
Thu 1/10/2019, 10:41 AM
With all due respect,
You are overweight and not attractive and your wife was not either.
I'm sorry, but you are not the right fit for this club.
We can't wait for our fabulous 2019 parties. Join us, every week, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"We are members of VA, Xstasia, Jaydees and ourplace for fun and have no problems. I know they have a right to refuse. All i did was simply point out that i felt we looked ok to be accepted especially based on other people that were there that night.
it didn't warrant such a reply. If he had of just said we reserve the right to not give a reason i would have been fine. But i am not accepting that and also going so far as to insult my partner who is nothing like he describes and i will send a pic to anyone who asks.
I knew it was a difficult place to get in and as has been stated a pic is not the same as the person and personality. "
But what's the point of querying it? They say they don't think you're a fit for their club. Why do you want to persuade them otherwise? Why would you want to go to a ciub when the people who are running it don't want you? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *azmar62Couple
over a year ago
Hinckley |
Did anyone else get a private message from LB asking to clarify our message? Our answer is, like LB’s policy we don’t have to clarify a damb thing. Normal people do exist and they come in all shapes n sizes??? Why not ask the questions on this forum?? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Ok, so here is my 'pushy' email. IN FACT HERE IS THE WHOLE CHAIN actually only 3 emails.
Us
Hi, we are planning on coming this Sat and just wanted to make sure our membership is ok?
Our first visit was about 6 months ago.
Thanks
Brian (Roccoscouple)
LB
Sent: Wednesday, January 9, 2019 5:30 PM
To: B tol
Subject: Re: Sat
Hello Brian,
No, I am afraid that is not possible. We emailed you after your attendance in August and explained that our grant of provisional membership was not going to be extended to full membership.
I am afraid we feel that you do not meet the minimum standards we maintain here.
That email may have gone to ********.com, because that is the email used on that registration.
we wish you better luck elsewhere.
Us
I have just done a search on my DJ account (i keep this account as it is private and therefore the kids don't see it). I cannot find the email you refer to..
In fact in October i emailed you regarding some details about possibly attending one night 7 asked details regarding the style of your live music performer and you answered me positively even giving me a youtube link for the performer.
At the end of this email you welcome us if we decided to come.
So what aspect of us does not meet the standards? My partner Jennifer is (i feel) and attractive South East Asian woman (recent picture attached) and although I'm not as beautiful as Jenny i don't consider myself hideous looking. I don't think we looked too out of place that evening we attended.
The pic of us together was taken at Isle of Wight festival last summer (2018)
I repeat we have received no such email.
So again we are curious as to why we don't fit.
Kind regards
Brian
LB
Thu 1/10/2019, 10:41 AM
With all due respect,
You are overweight and not attractive and your wife was not either.
I'm sorry, but you are not the right fit for this club.
We can't wait for our fabulous 2019 parties. Join us, every week, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
"
I Agree that if this is all that was exchanged, lb were out of order. A "sorry we don't discuss reasons" response would have sufficed. There's no need to get personal. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
There ought to be no harm in asking why you don't meet the requirements. It might be something simple such as wearing the wrong shoes or style of outfit. Merely asking a question should not result in rude answers. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
|
By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"Did anyone else get a private message from LB asking to clarify our message? Our answer is, like LB’s policy we don’t have to clarify a damb thing. Normal people do exist and they come in all shapes n sizes??? Why not ask the questions on this forum?? "
well at least you got an answer I dissdng get a Damn thing. Still getting invites to attend their events though
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
People have to be gorgeous on the inside or the outside is ugly no matter what standards people keep. The owner having the best laugh since his wife said she loved anal just shows the disrespect he has for people. Answers on a post card to how attractive his inside persona is.... |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
The reason we emailed you was that we didn't understand your post.
What private party could you ever have attended here, where 50% of the people were turned away?
We gave you the benefit of the doubt that you'd made a mistake, but perhaps you just feel the need to join the conversation, because quite frankly it makes no sense.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I never received the initial email they are claiming was sent and around 6 weeks after we had attended the first time i inquired about attending again and they were fine and gave me a lot of information and welcomed us if we decided to attend. So what had changed????? Like i said a flat sorry not for us and we don't have to tell you why would have been fine. But it wasn't as clear cut as that. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"We are members of VA, Xstasia, Jaydees and ourplace for fun and have no problems. I know they have a right to refuse. All i did was simply point out that i felt we looked ok to be accepted especially based on other people that were there that night.
it didn't warrant such a reply. If he had of just said we reserve the right to not give a reason i would have been fine. But i am not accepting that and also going so far as to insult my partner who is nothing like he describes and i will send a pic to anyone who asks.
I knew it was a difficult place to get in and as has been stated a pic is not the same as the person and personality.
But what's the point of querying it? They say they don't think you're a fit for their club. Why do you want to persuade them otherwise? Why would you want to go to a ciub when the people who are running it don't want you? "
I think the aim of the thread was to warn others against the place, as even LB themselves have proved today that they are a vile establishment. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"People have to be gorgeous on the inside or the outside is ugly no matter what standards people keep. The owner having the best laugh since his wife said she loved anal just shows the disrespect he has for people. Answers on a post card to how attractive his inside persona is.... "
Indeed, my thoughts upon reading that were along the lines of dodging a bullet in not attempting to attend Le Boudoir a while back when some friends suggested it.
Certainly off the list of clubs I'll recommend. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
This was all. I emailed them as we are / were travelling some distance so i was just double checking as i had heard of similar situations mainly with single guys |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Think you both need to drop it now. Its getting a tad embarrassing. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I never received the initial email they are claiming was sent and around 6 weeks after we had attended the first time i inquired about attending again and they were fine and gave me a lot of information and welcomed us if we decided to attend. So what had changed????? Like i said a flat sorry not for us and we don't have to tell you why would have been fine. But it wasn't as clear cut as that."
I believe they have a differential policy for different events. They might let you in if single guys are invited, but not if it is couples only.
The harsh truth is that anyone vaguely female is welcome at a single guy event as what attracts men is the presence of any kind of women. However, on couples nights, the reasoning is that the "attractive" couples will be put off if there are "less attractive" couples there. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"Ok, so here is my 'pushy' email. IN FACT HERE IS THE WHOLE CHAIN actually only 3 emails.
Us
Hi, we are planning on coming this Sat and just wanted to make sure our membership is ok?
Our first visit was about 6 months ago.
Thanks
Brian (Roccoscouple)
LB
Sent: Wednesday, January 9, 2019 5:30 PM
To: B tol
Subject: Re: Sat
Hello Brian,
No, I am afraid that is not possible. We emailed you after your attendance in August and explained that our grant of provisional membership was not going to be extended to full membership.
I am afraid we feel that you do not meet the minimum standards we maintain here.
That email may have gone to ********.com, because that is the email used on that registration.
we wish you better luck elsewhere.
Us
I have just done a search on my DJ account (i keep this account as it is private and therefore the kids don't see it). I cannot find the email you refer to..
In fact in October i emailed you regarding some details about possibly attending one night 7 asked details regarding the style of your live music performer and you answered me positively even giving me a youtube link for the performer.
At the end of this email you welcome us if we decided to come.
So what aspect of us does not meet the standards? My partner Jennifer is (i feel) and attractive South East Asian woman (recent picture attached) and although I'm not as beautiful as Jenny i don't consider myself hideous looking. I don't think we looked too out of place that evening we attended.
The pic of us together was taken at Isle of Wight festival last summer (2018)
I repeat we have received no such email.
So again we are curious as to why we don't fit.
Kind regards
Brian
LB
Thu 1/10/2019, 10:41 AM
With all due respect,
You are overweight and not attractive and your wife was not either.
I'm sorry, but you are not the right fit for this club.
We can't wait for our fabulous 2019 parties. Join us, every week, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
I Agree that if this is all that was exchanged, lb were out of order. A "sorry we don't discuss reasons" response would have sufficed. There's no need to get personal. "
I agree and would have accepted that |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I haven't read all the replies but this is shocking. Jaysus!! Is it even legal!?? "
Yes so long as they aren't discriminating against protected characteristics undevthe equality act I presume. Its a members club. They can decide on who become members |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"Ok, so maintaining a degree of minimum standards constitutes 'elitism'? Then I guess we must be! Sadly, a minority of people feel that no matter how unkempt, lacking in personal grooming or just plain scruffy they are, that they are entitled. Of course, people don't like to be rejected, from his own lengthy correspondence I knew this guy wouldn't. But, he wasn't happy with the club's initial, polite, correspondence, which is why we were forced to be a little more blunt! Our 20,000 registrants and regulars who enjoy the club, support the fact that we DO maintain minimum standards and if that decision offends the sensibilities of some, I must apologise. But, as has been pointed out, there are plenty of venues that are eager to accommodate you and we wish you good luck there. "
So why take my and.othwrs money let them.in and then reject them. And have g rejected them STILL send them.invites to attend.
Hypocrite |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"I haven't read all the replies but this is shocking. Jaysus!! Is it even legal!??
Yes so long as they aren't discriminating against protected characteristics undevthe equality act I presume. Its a members club. They can decide on who become members "
It doesn't even have to be a members club. As long as you are now discriminating on the grounds of a protected characteristic any business can refuse to deal with any person for any reason. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
we removed the one we know about, but, if you are still getting emails, you must have made multiple registrations with multiple email accounts and we don't know which it is to remove it.
Of course, you can always opt out yourself! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"We don't have an age restriction, we just think you should look after yourself, be presentable and well groomed. Are we saying that anyone who has contributed to this thread doesn't want that? "
In.my case you let.me.jn I was.wearing polished shoes a lean shirt and presses trousers. And.always do dress smart, and still dosnt explain why you took mine and others money and let them in. Dosnt wash pal. Maybe because you are.a nasty piece of work? |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
Ok lovely people,
As thrilling as this has been, I gotta go now. things to do.
Please, keep it up though, people love to see who is saying 'they'll never come' before they go ahead and register.
have fun fabbers. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Swinging Golden rule No1.
No means no!
Can you imagine rejecting this couple omg!
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"We don't have an age restriction, we just think you should look after yourself, be presentable and well groomed. Are we saying that anyone who has contributed to this thread doesn't want that?
In.my case you let.me.jn I was.wearing polished shoes a lean shirt and presses trousers. And.always do dress smart, and still dosnt explain why you took mine and others money and let them in. Dosnt wash pal. Maybe because you are.a nasty piece of work?"
If you say so. But then again, you don't know me do you? so what's the comment worth. NOTHING. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
How about those that 'don't meet standards' after their first visit are given a refund or part refund on their membership?
P |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"we removed the one we know about, but, if you are still getting emails, you must have made multiple registrations with multiple email accounts and we don't know which it is to remove it.
Of course, you can always opt out yourself!"
You are the ones sending them.abd you are the one who should remove them.
And front tell lies about emailing People cancelling their membership when.you clearly do not |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"We don't have an age restriction, we just think you should look after yourself, be presentable and well groomed. Are we saying that anyone who has contributed to this thread doesn't want that?
In.my case you let.me.jn I was.wearing polished shoes a lean shirt and presses trousers. And.always do dress smart, and still dosnt explain why you took mine and others money and let them in. Dosnt wash pal. Maybe because you are.a nasty piece of work?
If you say so. But then again, you don't know me do you? so what's the comment worth. NOTHING."
Well I think the posts you've made here today speak volumes about your personality and the way you conduct yourself 
Already blocked so I certainly won't be making the mistake of registering anytime soon like you say |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
I didn't post this to enter a war with LB and the night we went we had a good time and was looking forward to the couples night but as my wife works in healthcare we rarely get time off.
If you feel you are what they want i am sure you will have a great time.
the one low point was having our bottle of vodka taken from the communal fridge which is not a good set up to begin with as your drink is available to be taken either by mistake or otherwise. we had labelled it.
So to LB, we like your club esp as my wife is from Philippines as some clubs don't have the ethnic diversity that London offers so she sometimes stands out a bit. It's just a damn shame that it came to this when all along all we wanted to do was to continue experiencing your venue.
It was the manner of your response and the unnecessary insult to myself and my wife that i felt this community needed to know about. Ut's hard enough to accept you enjoy swinging then to actually step into that world is exciting but also daunting and just because it's your club and you have the right to refuse or accept who you like. It does not give you the right to insult people on a personal level. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
No problem
Feel free to tell us the email and it will be removed.
We cant remove what we dont know about.
Thanks
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Up-date email from Le Boudoir
Just so you know what you are dealing with..
'With all due respect,
You are overweight and not attractive and your wife was not either.
I'm sorry, but you are not the right fit for this club.'
Very nice attitude!!
So - We will send pics to whoever wants to look and decide for themselves.
"
Holy shit. That’s disgusting behaviour! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
[Removed by poster at 10/01/19 13:19:04] |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
It's not the rejection, it's the rude manner of the "explanation" and the (frankly off putting) messages in this thread from Le Boudoir themselves.... To which people are objecting.
Every venue has the right to implement an admissions/membership policy. Likewise to ensure their events are safe and fun. There is no need to be rude, snarky and unpleasant. That on its own is enough to put many people off. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
It’s a tad embarrassing trying to tell everyone how good looking you are, how well dressed you are etc etc. If you’re not wanted at their club that’s the end of it surely, move on. Imagine how often they must get emails off people outraged that they haven’t been accepted? I’d probably break at some point as well. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
You are very right. We all pretty much decide on wether we like someone and find them attractive from first sight. And we all have our own preference as to what we like and find attractive. So if people are like that why can't a club be? It doesn't make you stuck up if you choose to like a certain look. We went to lb for the first time a few weeks back and had an amazing night. And no one was stuck up. Everyone was welcoming and very friendly. As was the owner. And there were people of all types in there. It definitely isn't a stuck up place to be for those of you worried that it might be. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"A little tale of karma for you.....
We were rejected for membership at a well known, selective swinging 'club' which takes it's parties around the country. This was around 9 years ago.
The same company approached us to hire our club for an exclusive party 2 years ago. We rejected them and they were pissed.
One of my finer moments....lol"
Fair play.
I had an invite to a similar 'group' years ago on my old solo profile. I'd met what they thought were several attractive women and they suggested I extend the invite to them too.
I told them to fuck off.
There are many clubs, party organisers and private party hosts that like to select their customers. Some wait to be approached, others approach people themselves. It's easy to say no if they've been contacted by someone they deem 'unfit'. I often wonder how they deal with rejecting people that they themselves have chosen to invite?
Of course clubs and individuals have the right to make their own rules as to who they think suitable, based on whatever criteria they choose. Nobody is forced to apply for membership. It's not an entitlement.
Of course nothing stops others viewing this as elitist and choosing to avoid these places like the plague.
Some will seek these clubs out if their preferences are for the body beautiful. Nothing wrong with that either. One day they won't be deemed suitable either.
However......
If you're going to have a policy re shape, age, gender, perceived 'attractiveness' or whatever - you'd best make it crystal clear in your initial contact, be that on a website, application, interview, email, or a big fuck off sign on your door.
Otherwise you just make yourself look like cunts.
A |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am a member of LB and do agree that maybe D’s email was not very tactful and could have been worded better but David is very straight talking and that’s part of his personality.
I think Fundamentally you send in a picture which was 3 years old which for a club which does vet people on looks can be misleading.
It’s not full of skinny super models. It’s a good friendly club and would definitely say go and give it a try and don’t be put off by this one thread. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Club has preferences like most put on their profiles.
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
"It's not the rejection, it's the rude manner of the "explanation" and the (frankly off putting) messages in this thread from Le Boudoir themselves.... To which people are objecting.
"
Absolutely this ^^^ |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
To the OP, for someone who said you can take rejection, you are showing on this thread that you can't
However, the E-mail sent from a business( I am assuming off site ) could have been more tactful.
I am not sure either party came out good on this. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
PS I don't need any pictures, as far as I am concerned if the club has a criteria and you didn't fit it, then you should accept that. No amount of pic sending will change that.
I just don't agree with the unprofessional and tactless way it was dealt with |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"
To the OP, for someone who said you can take rejection, you are showing on this thread that you can't
However, the E-mail sent from a business( I am assuming off site ) could have been more tactful.
I am not sure either party came out good on this."
Me bodouir asks you to send a photo and details before allowing you to attend an event. So they already know what you look like prior to you going. You book in at an reception area and they know before you enter how you are dressed.
So to allow you in then send you invites to event a then cancel your membership without telling you, and then send rude ignorant messages when you ask why is rude nd unprofessional. Rejection here is not an issue it's the way this club operates that is the issue here.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
Rejection here is not an issue
"
It is, otherwise he wouldn't be talking about it and sending people pics to show how nice they are. They would just be accepting they were rejected |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
'You are overweight and not attractive and your wife was not either'
OP. If you have this email and can prove it was sent by that business I would be taking a legal position against them.
They have acted disgracefully in regard to your appearance and body shaming you and your wife.
It could be argued successfully that you have been embarrassed, suffered stress and hurt feelings because of this email.
If you are happy for the press to get hold of it if it went to court untold damage could be done to that business but you must be prepared for press invasion.
I would estimate considerable compensation for that disgrace email and they may even settle out of court.
They have the right to refuse entry. But not the right to insult you and cause distress to yourself and your wife.
I would action it. |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Rejection here is not an issue
It is, otherwise he wouldn't be talking about it and sending people pics to show how nice they are. They would just be accepting they were rejected"
I'm inclined to agree.
I think the pic sending thing comes across to me as very pushy.
|
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
I'm more pissed off I can't go on a club 18-30 holiday than the fact a club may not want me to attend.
Bloody preferences.......
A
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
Clubs absolutely have the right to allow in whomever they like.... but my god someone really needs a lesson in customer service...
Seriously it’s cringe worthy....
You know the old adage “you get one chance to make a great first impression!” .... what the!!!! |
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |
