FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Differences between clubs and online?
Differences between clubs and online?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’ve never been to a club, I’ve only met people through sites like this. I’m curious how people think the online world compares to meeting people in a club.
Because there are so few single women online, we all get completely bombarded with attention. And as soon as we start talking to someone we’re put under a huge amount pressure to meet. We get absolutely no space to even think, it can feel suffocating at times. Are things any different in clubs? Are women given space to talk, and get to know people at their own pace? Or are they pounced upon as they walk through the door?
Even though this is a swinging site, peoples taste’s often seem to be pretty normal when it comes to sex. For a lot of people a threesome is about as exciting as they can cope with. Are the kind of people who go to clubs more sexually adventurous?
Any other differences between online and clubs? |
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Were clubs only, its the social, banter, fun. Its full night out and chill let hair down To meet would feel pressurised and if no attraction/chemistry then awkward escape. In a club its different. Just works for us but know lots like meets off here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi, we are new to this and love going to a club, different nights have very different feels, we prefer couples night which has couples single women and a select group of single guys and it’s a completely chilled night, we find the mixed night hard work as you spend the night fighting off horny single men, the ethos in the club is women are in charge and have all the say, as for sex it’s what ever you want it to be it caters for every taste and you can do as much or as little as you feel comfortable with, I would definitely recommend giving one a try |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We only have 2 clubs in Scotland and I visit 1 of them by myself, I love the club scene as you get to chat and mingle with all different people.
You get to see what they are like in person and if you don't want to play you can just chat and watch. If you meet someone from online then the meet can be totally different than what you thought, and sometimes it's harder to know the person when chatting online to them as they can be different in person not as chatty etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At most clubs you’ll get lots and lots of attention however you play it at a club, wether you take on all comers or just chat, flirt and peacock all night, some people thrive on this attention, some don’t like it, some people let it go to there head, remember people will be nice to you whilst they think they have a chance of playing with you, if you rebuff their advances that will soon change xx |
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We find playing in clubs less stressy than trying to organise meets on here. Theres no hassle beforehand organising times, places to suit everyone and finding couples that suit both of us. Going to a club is way more enjoyable. Walk in, enjoy ourselves and play if we spot suitable people. Fun fun fun  |
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We are strictly clubs only now.
We've done meets off here (and other sites) in the past and everything was just far too complicated.
No shows, last minute cancellations, people who looked nothing like their pics, awkward conversations, and occasionally complete idiots. We even had one meet where the Mrs of the couple knew nothing about it. He wanted to surprise her. 
Also Mrs H always found the "meet in a bar back for a shag" routine uncomfortable to the point of being clinical.
In clubs we will agree to meet anyone who wants to turn up, single guys or couples. If it clicks then it can go further, if not then not. But whatever happens we still have our club night and not wasted any time. |
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We prefer meeting at clubs, rather than arranging meets through here, as we prefer the hot atmosphere clubs offer, that in person initial attraction and the spontaneity.
Of course single women are going to get loads of attention and I think some clubs are better at taking care of them (off the top of my head OP4F and VA). Some I wouldn't recommend as even as a couple I felt pounced on (Eurekas springs to mind). It also depends if you go on a night where single guys are there, if there are single guys does the club limit the number? Or if you go on a couples only night, might be less pressured? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depending on the night clubs can be remarkably low key. I find people are so wary of appearing to be pushy that it can be quite difficult to engage in conversation and I often have to make the first approach.
I prefer nights when single men come along, I feel the vibe is more lively and there is more interaction. Sometimes on a couples night it can feel a little like lots of pairs of people eyeing each other warily.
Do your research and choose your club warily. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get laid in clubs 
There’s less pressure, you can see if there’s an atttraction, plus you can have the social side. I enjoy seeing the ‘regulars’ and meeting new people which wouldn’t happen on here.
Plus you never know how the night will go... best nights are the quiet ones  |
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The social side of clubs is the great benefit, you can chat to lots of people and see who takes your fancy.
Organised socials are the other option, there's plenty around and they're great for meeting people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get laid in clubs
There’s less pressure, you can see if there’s an atttraction, plus you can have the social side. I enjoy seeing the ‘regulars’ and meeting new people which wouldn’t happen on here.
Plus you never know how the night will go... best nights are the quiet ones "
Yep. i’d agree to your last point particularly. |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
"At most clubs you’ll get lots and lots of attention however you play it at a club, wether you take on all comers or just chat, flirt and peacock all night, some people thrive on this attention, some don’t like it, some people let it go to there head, remember people will be nice to you whilst they think they have a chance of playing with you, if you rebuff their advances that will soon change xx"
Although I have observed your last sentence happening, apart from one venue generally speaking most people I've come across are happy to chat even if it doesn't lead anywhere further. I know I've done that several times myself. I've had what I'd consider to be some great times at clubs and actually not played. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would always recommend a club over a meet online. Yes going through the door your first time can be an anxious moment of entering the unknown, however You know the people in there are:
Real, their face in front of you is their actual one, safe environment where you can relax socialise and go at your own pace. I’ve been going to clubs now for around 15 years and never had a bad experience. Take your time picking the right club and event for you as lots of clubs now have certain events tailored to areas of swinging.
Hope you decide to try a club and sure you will have a great time |
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"I get laid in clubs "
I don't get laid in clubs 
The club scene is completely different for a single guy, and I'm glad I don't have to rely on clubs for sex. I don't understand how so many people talk about how difficult they find it to meet privately through Fab (or 'online' as the OP calls it), but then, these are the same people who don't understand how some people struggle in the club scene. It's just life; what works for some, doesn't necessarily work for others. Play to your strengths |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get laid in clubs
I don't get laid in clubs
The club scene is completely different for a single guy, and I'm glad I don't have to rely on clubs for sex. I don't understand how so many people talk about how difficult they find it to meet privately through Fab (or 'online' as the OP calls it), but then, these are the same people who don't understand how some people struggle in the club scene. It's just life; what works for some, doesn't necessarily work for others. Play to your strengths "
I’ve never tried to use fab to arrange meets: through choice. I meet single guys at clubs, as do other women so I don’t know if it’s massively different for woman or a game of numbers.
Also, I’ve gone and nothing; it’s how the night goes. |
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"I get laid in clubs
I don't get laid in clubs
The club scene is completely different for a single guy, and I'm glad I don't have to rely on clubs for sex. I don't understand how so many people talk about how difficult they find it to meet privately through Fab (or 'online' as the OP calls it), but then, these are the same people who don't understand how some people struggle in the club scene. It's just life; what works for some, doesn't necessarily work for others. Play to your strengths
I’ve never tried to use fab to arrange meets: through choice. I meet single guys at clubs, as do other women so I don’t know if it’s massively different for woman or a game of numbers.
Also, I’ve gone and nothing; it’s how the night goes. "
Clubs work for you, so you don’t try anything else, that’s all. You play to your strengths, and that’s fair enough |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s not a strength but a preference.
It’s simple; there’s no cross over into my life: what happens in the clubs, stays in the club. There’s no need for communication / messaging either, which isn’t my thing - too much like dating! I play to my choice. |
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"It’s not a strength but a preference.
It’s simple; there’s no cross over into my life: what happens in the clubs, stays in the club. There’s no need for communication / messaging either, which isn’t my thing - too much like dating! I play to my choice. "
Great!  |
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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
Speaking from extremely limited and therefore probably unqualified experience but I would say that in a club you lack that intimacy but then again that might not be expected from some people. I think I prefer some strings attached and like to know a person on a deeper level to have a better connection. Having said that, if women threw themselves at me in a club I'd probably change my view on that and wouldn't give a monkeys anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Were clubs only, its the social, banter, fun. Its full night out and chill let hair down To meet would feel pressurised and if no attraction/chemistry then awkward escape. In a club its different. Just works for us but know lots like meets off here."
I'm the same as you... I find private meets very pressured and awkward. Clubs there is none of that.
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By *aughtycp1Couple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
"Were clubs only, its the social, banter, fun. Its full night out and chill let hair down To meet would feel pressurised and if no attraction/chemistry then awkward escape. In a club its different. Just works for us but know lots like meets off here."
Totally agree with this. We love meeting at our favourite club Liberty Elite. It's so much more relaxed. Plus lots more opportunities for different scenarios x |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
I prefer clubs for play. Most people I have met in last few years has been club scene.
I am not good on here in arranging meets as I don’t get a lot of free time and clubs work.
I can turn up. I normally know some bar staff so I can have a chat then maybe have a play with someone if everything goes well |
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"Speaking from extremely limited and therefore probably unqualified experience but I would say that in a club you lack that intimacy but then again that might not be expected from some people. I think I prefer some strings attached and like to know a person on a deeper level to have a better connection. Having said that, if women threw themselves at me in a club I'd probably change my view on that and wouldn't give a monkeys anymore. "
Yes of course it lacks intimacy.
We are in this for sex not love so that is another thing we like about clubs. |
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"It’s not a strength but a preference.
It’s simple; there’s no cross over into my life: what happens in the clubs, stays in the club. There’s no need for communication / messaging either, which isn’t my thing - too much like dating! I play to my choice. "
Good point. Fully agree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Clubs only
Le Boudior mostly. Sophisticated and elegant.
Great thing about a club is if you treat it as social first with the possibility of something more, you can relax enjoy the night, meet some amazing people and have fabulous nights you could never plan.
First rule of club land, random nights are the best.....
Plus you at safer in le boudior than any other place in London. Fact !
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"It’s not a strength but a preference.
It’s simple; there’s no cross over into my life: what happens in the clubs, stays in the club. There’s no need for communication / messaging either, which isn’t my thing - too much like dating! I play to my choice. "
This for us too....we keep our swinging life very separate from everyday life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I use the clubs for social and see what happens. I was at one last week and it was fun and I had a great laugh but didn’t feel it so stayed dressed. Other nights found myself in the middle of a mmmmff you can’t call it but as long as you go without the level of expectancy many single guys seem to it’s what you make it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its very rare that we meet people directly off here...Rocking Horse shit rare....
Clubs:-
They have turned up
They look like them lol (no 2001 pics)
They are up for fun
You can have a social
There is lots of choice
There is no pressure (none of the "meet at ours at 8... fuck by 8.33 ... pressure bollox)
For women its a very safe environment...way safer than a normal nightclub
You wont be pounced on at all...
You will be at the top of the pecking order.
Enjoy
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its very rare that we meet people directly off here...Rocking Horse shit rare....
Clubs:-
They have turned up
They look like them lol (no 2001 pics)
They are up for fun
You can have a social
There is lots of choice
There is no pressure (none of the "meet at ours at 8... fuck by 8.33 ... pressure bollox)
For women its a very safe environment...way safer than a normal nightclub
You wont be pounced on at all...
You will be at the top of the pecking order.
Enjoy
"
And just having those top 4 sorted is 90% of the bs of arranging meets from the website overcome. |
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"We find playing in clubs less stressy than trying to organise meets on here. Theres no hassle beforehand organising times, places to suit everyone and finding couples that suit both of us. Going to a club is way more enjoyable. Walk in, enjoy ourselves and play if we spot suitable people. Fun fun fun "
Exactly this |
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"Speaking from extremely limited and therefore probably unqualified experience but I would say that in a club you lack that intimacy but then again that might not be expected from some people. I think I prefer some strings attached and like to know a person on a deeper level to have a better connection. Having said that, if women threw themselves at me in a club I'd probably change my view on that and wouldn't give a monkeys anymore.
Yes of course it lacks intimacy.
We are in this for sex not love so that is another thing we like about clubs."
And there you have it;
Cold, mechanical sex with random strangers who happen to be in the same place at the same time (in essence, glorified dogging), vs. intimate shared pleasure with people who choose to be together, at a mutually convenient time and place |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Clubs, people are there right in front of you for the same reason you are there and you aren’t wasting loads of time faffing around trying to set a meet up and then being let down, I’m 99% club meets only now for that very reason. |
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"Speaking from extremely limited and therefore probably unqualified experience but I would say that in a club you lack that intimacy but then again that might not be expected from some people. I think I prefer some strings attached and like to know a person on a deeper level to have a better connection. Having said that, if women threw themselves at me in a club I'd probably change my view on that and wouldn't give a monkeys anymore.
Yes of course it lacks intimacy.
We are in this for sex not love so that is another thing we like about clubs.
And there you have it;
Cold, mechanical sex with random strangers who happen to be in the same place at the same time (in essence, glorified dogging), vs. intimate shared pleasure with people who choose to be together, at a mutually convenient time and place "
If we wanted intimacy with someone else we would both be single and on a dating site.
We swing for fun, sport and entertainment, call it what you will, but intimacy NEVER!
We do not ever want to bring anyone home, and we certainly do not want a third party in our relationship.
Our swinger life and our everyday life are completely separate and it will stay that way.
When we walk out of club we leave what has happened in the club.
I understand your problem being in Penrith with no local clubs, and no doubt being a married guy playing away would make it difficult to sneak off for a night out, but that is no excuse to criticise other people who have different ideas than you.
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"Speaking from extremely limited and therefore probably unqualified experience but I would say that in a club you lack that intimacy but then again that might not be expected from some people. I think I prefer some strings attached and like to know a person on a deeper level to have a better connection. Having said that, if women threw themselves at me in a club I'd probably change my view on that and wouldn't give a monkeys anymore.
Yes of course it lacks intimacy.
We are in this for sex not love so that is another thing we like about clubs.
And there you have it;
Cold, mechanical sex with random strangers who happen to be in the same place at the same time (in essence, glorified dogging), vs. intimate shared pleasure with people who choose to be together, at a mutually convenient time and place "
What a weird thing to say |
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Although I have never been been to a club I believe its a better option than online. I've been to soicals organised off this site and I find them a good way to meet and chat with like minded people in a relaxed atmosphere. If things then go further good if not you have probably still. Had a enjoyable night out. Where if its a organised meet off a site and it doesn't go well its all very awkward for all concerned. And as so many of said on this thread you can see the person in the flesh so to speak no out of date pictures. |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
"Speaking from extremely limited and therefore probably unqualified experience but I would say that in a club you lack that intimacy but then again that might not be expected from some people. I think I prefer some strings attached and like to know a person on a deeper level to have a better connection. Having said that, if women threw themselves at me in a club I'd probably change my view on that and wouldn't give a monkeys anymore.
Yes of course it lacks intimacy.
We are in this for sex not love so that is another thing we like about clubs.
And there you have it;
Cold, mechanical sex with random strangers who happen to be in the same place at the same time (in essence, glorified dogging), vs. intimate shared pleasure with people who choose to be together, at a mutually convenient time and place
If we wanted intimacy with someone else we would both be single and on a dating site.
We swing for fun, sport and entertainment, call it what you will, but intimacy NEVER!
We do not ever want to bring anyone home, and we certainly do not want a third party in our relationship.
Our swinger life and our everyday life are completely separate and it will stay that way.
When we walk out of club we leave what has happened in the club.
I understand your problem being in Penrith with no local clubs, and no doubt being a married guy playing away would make it difficult to sneak off for a night out, but that is no excuse to criticise other people who have different ideas than you.
"
Couldn't have said that any better |
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"Its very rare that we meet people directly off here...Rocking Horse shit rare....
Clubs:-
They have turned up
They look like them lol (no 2001 pics)
They are up for fun
You can have a social
There is lots of choice
There is no pressure (none of the "meet at ours at 8... fuck by 8.33 ... pressure bollox)
For women its a very safe environment...way safer than a normal nightclub
You wont be pounced on at all...
You will be at the top of the pecking order.
Enjoy
"
Ketching. You’ve nailed it. |
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"Speaking from extremely limited and therefore probably unqualified experience but I would say that in a club you lack that intimacy but then again that might not be expected from some people. I think I prefer some strings attached and like to know a person on a deeper level to have a better connection. Having said that, if women threw themselves at me in a club I'd probably change my view on that and wouldn't give a monkeys anymore.
Yes of course it lacks intimacy.
We are in this for sex not love so that is another thing we like about clubs.
And there you have it;
Cold, mechanical sex with random strangers who happen to be in the same place at the same time (in essence, glorified dogging), vs. intimate shared pleasure with people who choose to be together, at a mutually convenient time and place "
while I do have private meets, I play mostly at clubs - I find that very few conversations started via the site lead anywhere.
I hate cold, mechanical sex - so I chat in clubs, get to know someone a bit, play and often stay chatting for a while afterwards or spend the rest of the evening together. Quite often it will turn into swapping numbers or profile names to carry on chatting and meet again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Speaking from extremely limited and therefore probably unqualified experience but I would say that in a club you lack that intimacy but then again that might not be expected from some people. I think I prefer some strings attached and like to know a person on a deeper level to have a better connection. Having said that, if women threw themselves at me in a club I'd probably change my view on that and wouldn't give a monkeys anymore. "
is the lack of intimacy that appeals to me in clubs but I'd said majority of people there. Do want intimacy too. Private rooms are always quick to be busy with people going in for very intimate times x
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By *haron7540Woman
over a year ago
Hayle, Cornwall |
"I’m thinking of going to a club myself, so interested in this thread too.
Unfortunately it’s about a two hour drive
Swingers quay? It's a long drive but worth it. Nice and laid back there x"
Thanks |
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"Speaking from extremely limited and therefore probably unqualified experience but I would say that in a club you lack that intimacy but then again that might not be expected from some people. I think I prefer some strings attached and like to know a person on a deeper level to have a better connection. Having said that, if women threw themselves at me in a club I'd probably change my view on that and wouldn't give a monkeys anymore.
Yes of course it lacks intimacy.
We are in this for sex not love so that is another thing we like about clubs.
And there you have it;
Cold, mechanical sex with random strangers who happen to be in the same place at the same time (in essence, glorified dogging), vs. intimate shared pleasure with people who choose to be together, at a mutually convenient time and place "
The mind boggles.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know 2 people who will be going around sex clubs very shortly with dash cameras outside and then inside with secret cameras to the bar areas,they’re then going to put it on you tube or social media asking, is your wife or hubby in here playing away, sounds like alot of hassle for people playing away from home.la chambre apparently is the main 1 for playing away. |
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"I know 2 people who will be going around sex clubs very shortly with dash cameras outside and then inside with secret cameras to the bar areas,they’re then going to put it on you tube or social media asking, is your wife or hubby in here playing away, sounds like alot of hassle for people playing away from home.la chambre apparently is the main 1 for playing away."
Why not report them to the police then 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s nothing to do with me and it’s a couple I was talking to whilst out dogging, if that’s what they want to do it’s up to them and why should the police be interested in people having affairs |
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"It’s nothing to do with me and it’s a couple I was talking to whilst out dogging, if that’s what they want to do it’s up to them and why should the police be interested in people having affairs "
I interpreted your post to meen they are taking pictures illegally - if so then they are breaking the law. Otherwise what is the purpose of your post? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd love to go to a club but for 2 reasons
Not body confident (take me or leave me, makes no nevermind but putting it all "out there" is something else
Not "with" anyone and would not feel "happy" just going as part of a meet
Feel free to let me know if that makes sense!! |
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"I know 2 people who will be going around sex clubs very shortly with dash cameras outside and then inside with secret cameras to the bar areas,they’re then going to put it on you tube or social media asking, is your wife or hubby in here playing away, sounds like alot of hassle for people playing away from home.la chambre apparently is the main 1 for playing away."
Remind your friends that is illegal. |
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By *irty130Couple
over a year ago
Bristol Area |
It's easy;
everyone at a club has already made the effort to get off their sofa, get ready, and go OUT to a club ready to meet someone.
In comparison, email tennis, diary matching, short social-media attention spans, and actually moving off the sofa when the time comes makes it much more rare that an online-arranged meet comes to fruition.
Once you have made your network via in-person clubs/socials, then you have a hit-list of people who you KNOW actually leave their sofas to meet.
We call them #sofaswingers - all emails and no action. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s nothing to do with me and it’s a couple I was talking to whilst out dogging, if that’s what they want to do it’s up to them and why should the police be interested in people having affairs
I interpreted your post to meen they are taking pictures illegally - if so then they are breaking the law. Otherwise what is the purpose of your post?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s nothing to do with me and it’s a couple I was talking to whilst out dogging, if that’s what they want to do it’s up to them and why should the police be interested in people having affairs
I interpreted your post to meen they are taking pictures illegally - if so then they are breaking the law. Otherwise what is the purpose of your post?"
what is the purpose of your post asking me to report people to the police |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s nothing to do with me and it’s a couple I was talking to whilst out dogging, if that’s what they want to do it’s up to them and why should the police be interested in people having affairs "
It's a criminal offence to film others without their knowledge and up load it is why
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd love to go to a club but for 2 reasons
Not body confident (take me or leave me, makes no nevermind but putting it all "out there" is something else
Not "with" anyone and would not feel "happy" just going as part of a meet
Feel free to let me know if that makes sense!!"
you would be fine .. and welcome to come along with me and some other ladies I go with at fine. And you don't need to put it all out there... I am only going socially to clubs right now or to chill in the hot tubs etc. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s nothing to do with me and it’s a couple I was talking to whilst out dogging, if that’s what they want to do it’s up to them and why should the police be interested in people having affairs It's a criminal offence to film others without their knowledge and up load it is why "
not my problem I’m just passing on what I was told
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