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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ruminating on the lifestyle, I'm reminded of the jam night I loved going to (every Wednesday from March 2005 to some point in 2006 and intermittently in 2007 after I moved to Plymouth) and how friendly, welcoming and accepting the group dynamics were. There was no judgement and there was lots of encouragement and support for being different and having self expression. I felt able to be myself with most of the people there (those who didn't give me that sense were easy to avoid and never ruined it). I play drums, guitar, keyboard, harmonica, and sing so I had a lot to offer. I'd play whatever music I liked and others would frequently join in. Sometimes it was planned beforehand to try and get a particular sound, other times it was really spontaneous and adventurous. No-one doubted that it was cool to join in.
The best experiences were when almost everyone was up and playing, riffing off eachother, someone having an idea to build a cacophony up, connecting with everyone and adding energy, and then someone else would leading a quieting down, breaking it down, so that subtle notes and accents could be felt, then someone would take a self indulgent solo, even a drum solo, etc. and no one was up-tight about it because we were all in it together.
Sometimes someone would bring a new and different instrument and the whole evening would be humorously tinged with trying to include it on as many songs as possible. Lots of fun! (as long as it didn't happen every week).
I was frequently invited to join others to help them with a song they wanted to play, it was personally expanding. I was also invited to join other groups and meet up with some of the people socially and to work on new material. I was asked to be part of a recording session. Did this cause friction in the group? No it was encouraged and people only saw more possibilities (for me and for themselves and the group).
Unlike the usual possessive relationship model, in no way did it even enter my mind as a betrayal of myself or my band or anyone or anything else to join in with others.
That was in my free musical expression and it was rich and fulfilling.
I would love to join a regular club and have the same freedom of sexual expression.
In truth this is where I had a non exclusive dalliance with L.
Then I met Mrs at that jam night and we made great music together. I loved playing with her in the group setting and I also loved seeing her up with others. It was great when she could let rip with all her talent and really get the room going and/or move people. Sometimes she'd come back to her seat laughing because it was rubbish or the song really didn't suit her voice or she'd forgotten the lyrics or it was just not a song she would ever choose, but she still enjoyed being involved with trying it (she may not have joined in with that one again though). There were people she didn't like playing with because they were expecting something that she couldn't do or wasn't interested in, but she knew who they were and could say no. Although it did occur to me that she held herself back for fear of embarrassing herself sometimes and could have had more fun letting herself go.
Does Mrs really only want to perform one kind of music with a particular partner or group? Is that true? How can I know? What if it is true? What if it isn't!? |
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