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BMFC statement in relation to the Guardian article
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"So its taken the guardian well over a year to publish her article?" It certainly did - not too sure of the reason Maybe she only just submitted it? or Maybe they had a gap to fill and scrambled around to find something ... | |||
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"As a regular attendee of your events at both Arousals and Radlett, I see much journalistic licence and factual inaccuracies in the article. I do not agree with many of her opinions and facts. I find your events to be completely enjoyable for everybody and a place where all are welcome. I feel this was just something written to take up a little bit of space in a paper, and I don't see that it's worth anybody's attention. BMFC parties create a marvelous social atmosphere and I love attending your events. See you at Radlett on Saturday. " As someone who has never attended BMFC I can see it’s poppycock! Interesting though to truly be able to see what is written in media and sadly no doubt believed by more audience than the few that know better. | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 16/01/18 22:27:27]"  I kind of get what you mean, but ultimately there is a target audience and that can’t be misled to people, which I see you appreciate by your name suggestions.
Yes perhaps remove the Male aspect from the name would be good, but maintain something that ensures non whites will be there. | |||
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"So its taken the guardian well over a year to publish her article?" It's an excerpt from a book which has just been published | |||
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"There have already been several posts referring to the article in the Guardian on Friday https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jan/13/black-woman-always-fetishised-racism-in-bedroom and as of now, we have not responded Please do not read too much into the reasons for our silence – we have had major family issues, which have prevented us from giving this reply the time that it warranted The article (for those who didn’t fall asleep half way through) was written by a female guest who DID attend one of our parties back in November 2016. Even though she gave a false FIRST name when she booked onto the guest list, she still provided her REAL photo ID to gain access into the venue and sign the declaration form that she is NOT a journalist When we were made aware of the article, it took me just 2 minutes to check my records and locate her details – she has been contacted but has not yet replied As I am not Black, I am unable to comment about Black Ladies feeling fetishised in the bedroom, so I will park that element of her article here However it was obvious that she had so many preconceived ideas of what a BMFC Party would be like She made assumptions that our Black Guys would have been escorts and was surprised when she realised that NONE of them had been PAID to attend and that NONE of them had been FORCED to attend I personally found it offensive that she insinuated that men are incapable of making any decisions when it comes to sexual partners I felt that overall she was disappointed at the outcome of her evening and maybe if she had spent less time ‘interviewing’ the guys, then she may have actually received some attention! Interaction at a BMFC Party has NOTHING to do with the colour of someone’s skin, but it DOES have a LOT to do with someone’s attitude The BMFC has NEVER advertised our events as being specifically for Black Guys who are attracted to White ladies We ALWAYS have a great mix of ethnicities at our events (obviously more so at the venues where the population is more diverse) and Black Ladies and Black Couples ALWAYS join us If she had asked me if I had seen any changes in my 13 years experience, then I would have happily given her my comments, as there has been many changes over the years The profile of our BMFC members has altered – the average age of our guests has REDUCED – the ethnicity of our couples has expanded – the number of single ladies has increased This is all due to Swinging now being seen as more socially acceptable and more accessible too So – should the article have been published? – Certainly NOT as she was in breech of the declaration that she signed Could we have done more to stop her attend the party? – Attending the party is NOT an issue (even journalists have a right to some fun) but the issue is her publishing an article! Do we know who she is? – Yes, we have her contact details and we HAVE contacted her Did the article breech any members’ privacy? – Not at all as no names were used and no pictures taken Did she achieve what she set out to achieve? – No idea but I personally don’t think so Does she make the BMFC look bad? – In my opinion, not at all Will she prevent other Black Ladies from joining us? – I doubt it Will she sell more books? – Well I wont be buying one, that’s for sure … " The "weary blond woman" actually sounded kinda hot. Did anyone catch her name?    | |||
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"The Guardian who actually reads that muck? " Well there is that lol | |||
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"Why change the name of bmfc? It works and it is exactly what it says. I love bmfc as it is my preference to have sex with black guys as do many white and black women. Very sad when someone lies to get information. Many people enjoy all aspects of swinging especially important people. Reporters need to leave us all alone to enjoy life x keep doing what your doing Helen best club nights I have been to x " The OP says “The BMFC has NEVER advertised our events as being specifically for Black Guys who are attracted to White ladies We ALWAYS have a great mix of ethnicities at our events (obviously more so at the venues where the population is more diverse) and Black Ladies and Black Couples ALWAYS join us” but the name suggests it is an event directed solely towards black men. All that was suggested is that if the event has evolved and is more inclusive, the name of the event should perhaps reflect that inclusivity. We have no interest in black men (unless Idris Elba is on here) so wouldn’t attend a BMFC event. However black women would be a different story, it appears that - based on the ops initial post - that we could potentially find that at these events. However we wouldn’t know that based on the event name, if that makes sense? | |||
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"Just had a read and really it comes across as the author having a fundamental misunderstanding of swinging in general and fetishes specifically. Not to mention something of a chip on her shoulder." My preception too. Awful, axe grinding hackery. | |||
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"Just had a read and really it comes across as the author having a fundamental misunderstanding of swinging in general and fetishes specifically. Not to mention something of a chip on her shoulder. My preception too. Awful, axe grinding hackery." actually for all of the "north korean type" applauding of the statement, they did make one point that was valid..... in all their advertising they do bring some of this upon themselves in that they always talk about the "extra's" black guys brings..... so someone is feeding a stereotype somewhere......... they can absolutely defend the brand and they are entitled to do that since it is something that they have built up over years.... but they can't entirely feign innocence either....... | |||
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"Just had a read and really it comes across as the author having a fundamental misunderstanding of swinging in general and fetishes specifically. Not to mention something of a chip on her shoulder. My preception too. Awful, axe grinding hackery. actually for all of the "north korean type" applauding of the statement, they did make one point that was valid..... in all their advertising they do bring some of this upon themselves in that they always talk about the "extra's" black guys brings..... so someone is feeding a stereotype somewhere......... they can absolutely defend the brand and they are entitled to do that since it is something that they have built up over years.... but they can't entirely feign innocence either......." Fair point. Still, the article has only scratched the surface of a very large iceberg. | |||
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"Just had a read and really it comes across as the author having a fundamental misunderstanding of swinging in general and fetishes specifically. Not to mention something of a chip on her shoulder. My preception too. Awful, axe grinding hackery. actually for all of the "north korean type" applauding of the statement, they did make one point that was valid..... in all their advertising they do bring some of this upon themselves in that they always talk about the "extra's" black guys brings..... so someone is feeding a stereotype somewhere......... they can absolutely defend the brand and they are entitled to do that since it is something that they have built up over years.... but they can't entirely feign innocence either......." I am with you. Obviously the parties are all about generally white people fetishising black men based upon racial stereotypes about the sexual potency of black men. All perfectly legal and if that is what you are into and it gets you off, go for it. Just lets not be hypocritical about the racial stereotyping and objectification that's going on. | |||
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"Looking at the statement above again, it's rather disingenuous. Of course BMFC is all about white women having sex with black men. The clue is in the name. That particular fetish is a popular and lucrative one, and good luck to the OP for realising But again, let's not be hypocrites in pretending it's nothing about race when it's all about race. " best opinion so far | |||
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"Bmfc isn't just about white women who want to have sex with black men though? Do black and Asian women not prefer black men as well? Lol Weird how there is no mention of white women in the title at all yet it's all peiple seem to be focused on. " Because if you have been to these sorts of parties, you will see that's what they are primarily about. As I say it's the playing with the old racist idea of potent black men and vulnerable white women. All I am suggesting is that you should recognise the roots of the fetish and own it. | |||
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"Looking at the statement above again, it's rather disingenuous. Of course BMFC is all about white women having sex with black men. The clue is in the name. That particular fetish is a popular and lucrative one, and good luck to the OP for realising But again, let's not be hypocrites in pretending it's nothing about race when it's all about race. best opinion so far "  I agree, very well said poster | |||
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"Ever thought about vetting your attendees so as to eliminate non-swingers?" How? | |||
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"Ever thought about vetting your attendees so as to eliminate non-swingers? How?" Single men usually have to provide a short bio giving an overview of their swinging experiences. Maybe this should be extended to single ladies and couples too?  | |||
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"Ever thought about vetting your attendees so as to eliminate non-swingers? How? Single men usually have to provide a short bio giving an overview of their swinging experiences. Maybe this should be extended to single ladies and couples too? "Very hard to do...You could just lie. One way would be to look at verifications on websites, But is that unfair to genuine unverified people? If you wanted to check if someone was a reporter or not you have to check their contract of employment, payslips and bank accounts! And would it be fair to reporters who like a bit of adult fun to ban them? there is a risk with everything you do, you look at the risks and decide. I have been to many BMFC nights and always felt safe and secure. Anyway suppose a reporter want to run a salacious story about swingers clubs, all they have to do is make up a lot of supposed slutty going on's and wait outside and take photo's of attendees and we all know you can can see lovely scantilly clad ladies arriving and departing. So no amount of vetting can stop that. | |||
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"...Very hard to do...You could just lie... " Oh come on now! You've been doing this longer than me. Are you honestly saying that someone who's been in this life as long as you (or even myself) can't tell when someone is wet behind the ears/all mouth and no trousers/just chatting bullshit? (delete as necessary)
The bio isn't just to brag about previous conquests. The language used will give a clue as to whether that person just wants to get their end away, is more into the social side or even if they are just curios and are having a quick peek.
I would lay 10-1 that a reporter writing a bio to get in may cut and paste a few well chosen phrases from some random erotic fiction but they will be well out of context and would stick out like a sore thumb. Especially when this info is viewed in the context of their demeanour in the club. | |||
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"Ever thought about vetting your attendees so as to eliminate non-swingers? How? Single men usually have to provide a short bio giving an overview of their swinging experiences. Maybe this should be extended to single ladies and couples too?
Very hard to do...You could just lie.
One way would be to look at verifications on websites, But is that unfair to genuine unverified people?
If you wanted to check if someone was a reporter or not you have to check their contract of employment, payslips and bank accounts!
And would it be fair to reporters who like a bit of adult fun to ban them?
there is a risk with everything you do,
you look at the risks and decide.
I have been to many BMFC nights and always felt safe and secure.
Anyway suppose a reporter want to run a salacious story about swingers clubs, all they have to do is make up a lot of
supposed slutty going on's and wait outside and take photo's of attendees and we all know you can can see lovely
scantilly clad ladies arriving and departing.
So no amount of vetting can stop that. "Just to put peoples minds at risk it would be unlawful for newspapers to publish pictures or identifying details of people attending swinging clubs unless they could show a public interest. Public interest is not the same as of interest to the public. It's a narrow definition and would cover things like a politician who banged on about the importance of marital fidelity but was secretly visiting swinging clubs. That's because there a public interest in exposing political hypocrisy. Long story short, if you are not a public figure you are not going to be outed by the press and even if you a public figure it's unlikely. | |||
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"Sorry, I should have also said: If a reporter has genuinely come to have "fun with like minded people" then that's fine. I'm not advocating excluding anyone based on their career choice. What I would like to avoid is the situation where someone is there PURELY as an information gathering exercise especially with intention of casting the lifestyle in an unfavourable light." How's that different from a food journalist going to a restaurant and giving it a bad review? They don't announce they're journalists as it would defeat the purpose of the exercise. If you run a business open to the public some people are going to think the business is shit and some of those people may publish something to that effect. It's called legitimate criticism. I don't see the problem. If the OP is concerned she should contact the guardian and ask for a right of reply. I suspect they would agree. | |||
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"Sorry, I should have also said: If a reporter has genuinely come to have "fun with like minded people" then that's fine. I'm not advocating excluding anyone based on their career choice. What I would like to avoid is the situation where someone is there PURELY as an information gathering exercise especially with intention of casting the lifestyle in an unfavourable light. How's that different from a food journalist going to a restaurant and giving it a bad review? They don't announce they're journalists as it would defeat the purpose of the exercise. If you run a business open to the public some people are going to think the business is shit and some of those people may publish something to that effect. It's called legitimate criticism. I don't see the problem. If the OP is concerned she should contact the guardian and ask for a right of reply. I suspect they would agree. " Reviews are fine. There are even plenty of them on this site! I don't think what was written in the Guardian could be classed as a review of the Arousals or BMFC though. | |||
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"Sorry, I should have also said: If a reporter has genuinely come to have "fun with like minded people" then that's fine. I'm not advocating excluding anyone based on their career choice. What I would like to avoid is the situation where someone is there PURELY as an information gathering exercise especially with intention of casting the lifestyle in an unfavourable light. How's that different from a food journalist going to a restaurant and giving it a bad review? They don't announce they're journalists as it would defeat the purpose of the exercise. If you run a business open to the public some people are going to think the business is shit and some of those people may publish something to that effect. It's called legitimate criticism. I don't see the problem. If the OP is concerned she should contact the guardian and ask for a right of reply. I suspect they would agree. Reviews are fine. There are even plenty of them on this site! I don't think what was written in the Guardian could be classed as a review of the Arousals or BMFC though." Someone thinks the whole concept of the BMFC is dodgy but goes along to do some research before writing her article. I don't see a problem with that You can of course argue that she went along with a particular mindset and I would agree with that, but her position is certainly an arguable one and I see no issue with publishing an article based on that position. As I say, the club owner can ask the Guardian to publish her rebuttal. | |||
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 oops busted  | |||
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"Her article can’t exactly damage their business. Those that go will know it’s slanted and those that haven’t been might be curious to now go. She’s made awareness of the nights to vanilla people. I’m sure there are women creaming their knickers and salivating at the prospect of lots of Wayne’s. My issue with the reporter is her view about white women stealing all the black guys. oops busted "lol I agree with you. I would bet that it gets more popular now. I have heard that there is no such thing as "Bad Publicity" | |||
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"Ever thought about vetting your attendees so as to eliminate non-swingers? How? Single men usually have to provide a short bio giving an overview of their swinging experiences. Maybe this should be extended to single ladies and couples too?
Very hard to do...You could just lie.
One way would be to look at verifications on websites, But is that unfair to genuine unverified people?
If you wanted to check if someone was a reporter or not you have to check their contract of employment, payslips and bank accounts!
And would it be fair to reporters who like a bit of adult fun to ban them?
there is a risk with everything you do,
you look at the risks and decide.
I have been to many BMFC nights and always felt safe and secure.
Anyway suppose a reporter want to run a salacious story about swingers clubs, all they have to do is make up a lot of
supposed slutty going on's and wait outside and take photo's of attendees and we all know you can can see lovely
scantilly clad ladies arriving and departing.
So no amount of vetting can stop that.
Just to put peoples minds at risk it would be unlawful for newspapers to publish pictures or identifying details of people attending swinging clubs unless they could show a public interest.
Public interest is not the same as of interest to the public. It's a narrow definition and would cover things like a politician who banged on about the importance of marital fidelity but was secretly visiting swinging clubs. That's because there a public interest in exposing political hypocrisy.
Long story short, if you are not a public figure you are not going to be outed by the press and even if you a public figure it's unlikely. "tell that to the people in the middle pages of the mail on sunday from last year's Swingfields... | |||
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"Ever thought about vetting your attendees so as to eliminate non-swingers? How? Single men usually have to provide a short bio giving an overview of their swinging experiences. Maybe this should be extended to single ladies and couples too?
Very hard to do...You could just lie.
One way would be to look at verifications on websites, But is that unfair to genuine unverified people?
If you wanted to check if someone was a reporter or not you have to check their contract of employment, payslips and bank accounts!
And would it be fair to reporters who like a bit of adult fun to ban them?
there is a risk with everything you do,
you look at the risks and decide.
I have been to many BMFC nights and always felt safe and secure.
Anyway suppose a reporter want to run a salacious story about swingers clubs, all they have to do is make up a lot of
supposed slutty going on's and wait outside and take photo's of attendees and we all know you can can see lovely
scantilly clad ladies arriving and departing.
So no amount of vetting can stop that.
Just to put peoples minds at risk it would be unlawful for newspapers to publish pictures or identifying details of people attending swinging clubs unless they could show a public interest.
Public interest is not the same as of interest to the public. It's a narrow definition and would cover things like a politician who banged on about the importance of marital fidelity but was secretly visiting swinging clubs. That's because there a public interest in exposing political hypocrisy.
Long story short, if you are not a public figure you are not going to be outed by the press and even if you a public figure it's unlikely.
tell that to the people in the middle pages of the mail on sunday from last year's Swingfields..."Having just looked at the article on line. I can't see pics of identifiable individuals. | |||
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"Her article can’t exactly damage their business. Those that go will know it’s slanted and those that haven’t been might be curious to now go. She’s made awareness of the nights to vanilla people. I’m sure there are women creaming their knickers and salivating at the prospect of lots of Wayne’s. My issue with the reporter is her view about white women stealing all the black guys. oops busted "I tend to agree. Those who thought that this sort of thing was politically suspect won't go anyway. Those who are into it and weren't aware of the club now are. I've not been to BMFC, but have been to similar events and have no issue with fetishises that have roots in decidedly dodgy political ideas. I see acting how those fetishises is fine, but it pays to be aware of their origins I think. | |||
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"Her article can’t exactly damage their business. Those that go will know it’s slanted and those that haven’t been might be curious to now go. She’s made awareness of the nights to vanilla people. I’m sure there are women creaming their knickers and salivating at the prospect of lots of Wayne’s. My issue with the reporter is her view about white women stealing all the black guys. oops busted " | |||
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"It would be interesting to see how a WMFC would be regarded by all and sundry." Totally agree | |||
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"It would be interesting to see how a WMFC would be regarded by all and sundry. Totally agree" Can be a long, cold night on the river banks, be sure to have your bivvy ready to go. | |||
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"Ever thought about vetting your attendees so as to eliminate non-swingers? How?" Only allowing those with checkable meet/play veries from similarly veried people to attend? | |||
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"Grotty artical by a typical grotty gardian sort of person. Those sort of up their own arse, self entitled, the whole world is against me, scumbags are why people voted Brexit. (If you like it or not) Oh but the truth of that muppets life leaks out when she talks about her friends. Her accompanying black friend... who is a seasoned swinger only going to “classy” events. Well a whore is a whore if it’s a back street or a call Girl and a swinger is a swinger. She is worried people are going to want to shag her or her husband because she is black. Well I have news. People will only shag you because of how you look, it’s called attraction. It’s a thing. Her details need to be passed to killing kittens etc. She has no place in the swinging world. Her moaning friend who can’t find a man and spent a fortune on a matchmaker service. Well if you have a friend who writes shit like this for the guardian you are very likely going to be a soft mug. What a scumbag. The sooner the gardian are gone the better. " ...... However..... unlike the sensationalist type “articles” that are often written about Swingers, this was hardly damaging to anyone and quite probably has given Helen and her crew a massive free advertising boost. Presumably you would prefer only damaging and sensationalist articles as written by the scummy papers? The Guardian is actually a beacon for liberalism and whether you/we agree with the sentiment or not, it is good that thought provoking articles are being written about sex, drugs, religion and the way that our society really is. | |||
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"I have never understood why - given the opening posts description of how these event are run, and how these events genuinely aren’t purely about putting black men on a pedestal or white women using black men as play things for sexual gratification - these events are still called bmfc. The name black mans fan club could suggest it is purely about black men. It could be seen as insinuating that they are either better than other variations of men or that they (the black men) are there as a commodity. Also, I Imagine that there are many single white men find the whole name of the event completely discriminatory and completely unwelcoming and uninviting. I would imagine as a result would not feel welcomed and could be put off or would not attend an event named as such. If the event is there for everyone, be they white or black single men, white or black single women, as well as couples of any combination of creed and colour then perhaps a rebrand is in order. Noir et blanc... interacial laiasons... just two suggestions that would make these events seem more welcoming to all. Please don’t get me wrong I am not suggesting that anything you say about the events is untrue, I am just suggesting alternative views that could be taken about an event named the way it is now. I hope this post is taken objectively and in the spirit it is meant, and that no offence is taken..." Totally agree | |||
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"Grotty artical by a typical grotty gardian sort of person. Those sort of up their own arse, self entitled, the whole world is against me, scumbags are why people voted Brexit. (If you like it or not) Oh but the truth of that muppets life leaks out when she talks about her friends. Her accompanying black friend... who is a seasoned swinger only going to “classy” events. Well a whore is a whore if it’s a back street or a call Girl and a swinger is a swinger. She is worried people are going to want to shag her or her husband because she is black. Well I have news. People will only shag you because of how you look, it’s called attraction. It’s a thing. Her details need to be passed to killing kittens etc. She has no place in the swinging world. Her moaning friend who can’t find a man and spent a fortune on a matchmaker service. Well if you have a friend who writes shit like this for the guardian you are very likely going to be a soft mug. What a scumbag. The sooner the gardian are gone the better. ...... However..... unlike the sensationalist type “articles” that are often written about Swingers, this was hardly damaging to anyone and quite probably has given Helen and her crew a massive free advertising boost. Presumably you would prefer only damaging and sensationalist articles as written by the scummy papers? The Guardian is actually a beacon for liberalism and whether you/we agree with the sentiment or not, it is good that thought provoking articles are being written about sex, drugs, religion and the way that our society really is. " The gardian is a bit to right wing for me. It typifies the pseudo left that has taken root in the media. The clown who wrote that article is a good example. | |||
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"Ever thought about vetting your attendees so as to eliminate non-swingers? How? Single men usually have to provide a short bio giving an overview of their swinging experiences. Maybe this should be extended to single ladies and couples too?
Very hard to do...You could just lie.
One way would be to look at verifications on websites, But is that unfair to genuine unverified people?
If you wanted to check if someone was a reporter or not you have to check their contract of employment, payslips and bank accounts!
And would it be fair to reporters who like a bit of adult fun to ban them?
there is a risk with everything you do,
you look at the risks and decide.
I have been to many BMFC nights and always felt safe and secure.
Anyway suppose a reporter want to run a salacious story about swingers clubs, all they have to do is make up a lot of
supposed slutty going on's and wait outside and take photo's of attendees and we all know you can can see lovely
scantilly clad ladies arriving and departing.
So no amount of vetting can stop that.
Just to put peoples minds at risk it would be unlawful for newspapers to publish pictures or identifying details of people attending swinging clubs unless they could show a public interest.
Public interest is not the same as of interest to the public. It's a narrow definition and would cover things like a politician who banged on about the importance of marital fidelity but was secretly visiting swinging clubs. That's because there a public interest in exposing political hypocrisy.
Long story short, if you are not a public figure you are not going to be outed by the press and even if you a public figure it's unlikely.
tell that to the people in the middle pages of the mail on sunday from last year's Swingfields...
Having just looked at the article on line. I can't see pics of identifiable individuals. "Fortunately the images were removed but by that time a lot of damage had already been done. | |||
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"I've been trying to avoid commenting on this but the great point raised by an earlier poster has inspired me to. The issue of race always seems to be an 'Uncomfortable' topic of discussion on fab. What makes me laugh is the way that some people on here hide behind the term 'preference' to mask what they really think rather than exercise their freedom of choice discreetly. Don't get me wrong this is not exclusive to black people, I have read profiles that go out of their way to exclude Asians and even white people. . . writen by white people ! Personslly the fact that some feel the need to have this as part of their profiles is ridiculous, but a revelation of character and a reflection of our wider society. We all have our types, but some of us are conscious enough not to erect unnecessary barriers just because ! I read the article and objectivly do not see it as an attack on BMFC in particular but I think it has done its job of opening up what would normally be a pretty awkward debate. Put simply this scene is full of niches, interracial sex is just one of many. As entrepreneurs BMFC have chosen to cater for this niche ... why not. However we can't deny that the lady did make an interesting commentary to make us all think what lies behind it and where it possibly stems from, in the minds of both black and non black people in a country which had openly racist biases going back as early as the 70's." Flagging this - may comment later. In brief, this seems totally correct. | |||
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"Thankfully I think the journalist totally failed in whatever her agenda may be and came across as just sounding bitter that she was not getting any attention. (...) " Lots of good posts/points and I wish I had the time/energy to reply/comment on more of them. I chose the above portion of one of the posts because that's exactly what I thought too. I've seen this journalist on The Pledge and other tv news/discussions programmes and, when I was told about the article, having seen it was written by her, I didn't even have to read it to know that it'd be "condemning". From what I've seen of her on the tv programmes, she has a massive chip on her shoulder about a number of issues (granted, race being the main one) and, unfortunately for her, she does end up coming across as bitter. I've been to many bmfc events but I'm not gonna reply here to defend them. It is what it is and people who go there are varied and so are their reasons. I only wanted to comment because I absolutely hate seeing biased and preconceived judgements being presented as "research" and "journalism". If she had been to other events as well (for example, one for bbws or one for bi people) and wrote a well-rounded article for swinging, then I would have accepted her views for bmfc, no matter how negative. But if she had done that, it would have been impossible for her to criticise bmfc's theme and not all the others' too. That there is the key. Her agenda was to insinuate that black men (and women) are ultimately victims (the former because of her perceived objectification of them and the latter because of how black men's tastes and preferences don't include black women anymore - again her perception) and that, to me, is offensive. Both to black people and also to all other races who are made out to be "racist" in a roundabout way. The rules of attraction are not black or white (excuse the pun  ). Next she's gonna call racist everyone who prefers sleeping on the left side of the bed or those who don't like broccoli or those who are attracted to women only, etc. (btw, there's a bwfc -blackwomenfanclub- too but I didn't see her do any "research" on that  ).
Anyway, long story short: she needs to loosen up and start enjoying life rather than try to find imaginary "injustices" around every corner and make herself feel miserable unnecessarily | |||
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"Thankfully I think the journalist totally failed in whatever her agenda may be and came across as just sounding bitter that she was not getting any attention. (...) Lots of good posts/points and I wish I had the time/energy to reply/comment on more of them. I chose the above portion of one of the posts because that's exactly what I thought too. I've seen this journalist on The Pledge and other tv news/discussions programmes and, when I was told about the article, having seen it was written by her, I didn't even have to read it to know that it'd be "condemning". From what I've seen of her on the tv programmes, she has a massive chip on her shoulder about a number of issues (granted, race being the main one) and, unfortunately for her, she does end up coming across as bitter. I've been to many bmfc events but I'm not gonna reply here to defend them. It is what it is and people who go there are varied and so are their reasons. I only wanted to comment because I absolutely hate seeing biased and preconceived judgements being presented as "research" and "journalism". If she had been to other events as well (for example, one for bbws or one for bi people) and wrote a well-rounded article for swinging, then I would have accepted her views for bmfc, no matter how negative. But if she had done that, it would have been impossible for her to criticise bmfc's theme and not all the others' too. That there is the key. Her agenda was to insinuate that black men (and women) are ultimately victims (the former because of her perceived objectification of them and the latter because of how black men's tastes and preferences don't include black women anymore - again her perception) and that, to me, is offensive. Both to black people and also to all other races who are made out to be "racist" in a roundabout way. The rules of attraction are not black or white (excuse the pun ). Next she's gonna call racist everyone who prefers sleeping on the left side of the bed or those who don't like broccoli or those who are attracted to women only, etc. (btw, there's a bwfc -blackwomenfanclub- too but I didn't see her do any "research" on that ).
Anyway, long story short: she needs to loosen up and start enjoying life rather than try to find imaginary "injustices" around every corner and make herself feel miserable unnecessarily " | |||
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"We have been to bmfc nights and have had a great time. Seen another BBC night advertised now on here where it states couples cannot play,no girl on girl and what I find very wrong it says white male partners cannot play with other women.... Well fuck me if I and another woman are happy to play.no one is going to ban me because I'm white It's in the meets and parties if you don't believe me " Yeah. Horrible . | |||
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"We have been to bmfc nights and have had a great time. Seen another BBC night advertised now on here where it states couples cannot play,no girl on girl and what I find very wrong it says white male partners cannot play with other women.... Well fuck me if I and another woman are happy to play.no one is going to ban me because I'm white It's in the meets and parties if you don't believe me " I saw one where white male partners wouldn't be allowed to play with their own partners...each to their own, but really? | |||
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"We have been to bmfc nights and have had a great time. Seen another BBC night advertised now on here where it states couples cannot play,no girl on girl and what I find very wrong it says white male partners cannot play with other women.... Well fuck me if I and another woman are happy to play.no one is going to ban me because I'm white It's in the meets and parties if you don't believe me " Where? | |||
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"We have been to bmfc nights and have had a great time. Seen another BBC night advertised now on here where it states couples cannot play,no girl on girl and what I find very wrong it says white male partners cannot play with other women.... Well fuck me if I and another woman are happy to play.no one is going to ban me because I'm white It's in the meets and parties if you don't believe me I saw one where white male partners wouldn't be allowed to play with their own partners...each to their own, but really? "Ridiculous. I've been to a few bmfc and similar parties. I've never played with my wife there or played with another woman there, which is fine. But if some cunt thinks he can lay down a rule that says i can't then he can fuck off! Racist tosser. | |||
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"We have been to bmfc nights and have had a great time. Seen another BBC night advertised now on here where it states couples cannot play,no girl on girl and what I find very wrong it says white male partners cannot play with other women.... Well fuck me if I and another woman are happy to play.no one is going to ban me because I'm white It's in the meets and parties if you don't believe me " Just saw that and appalled by it. We've just commented on the thread. It will probably be an unpopular post but someone has to challenge that. | |||
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"We have been to bmfc nights and have had a great time. Seen another BBC night advertised now on here where it states couples cannot play,no girl on girl and what I find very wrong it says white male partners cannot play with other women.... Well fuck me if I and another woman are happy to play.no one is going to ban me because I'm white It's in the meets and parties if you don't believe me " That is appalling. I did report one thread a while ago when a (white) guy asked if he could go and was told words to the effect "dis is for black guys, not white guys - go to your own parties" | |||
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"We have been to bmfc nights and have had a great time. Seen another BBC night advertised now on here where it states couples cannot play,no girl on girl and what I find very wrong it says white male partners cannot play with other women.... Well fuck me if I and another woman are happy to play.no one is going to ban me because I'm white It's in the meets and parties if you don't believe me Just saw that and appalled by it. We've just commented on the thread. It will probably be an unpopular post but someone has to challenge that." I commented a few days ago and it was removed by the site. I wasn't rude about it either | |||
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"We have been to bmfc nights and have had a great time. Seen another BBC night advertised now on here where it states couples cannot play,no girl on girl and what I find very wrong it says white male partners cannot play with other women.... Well fuck me if I and another woman are happy to play.no one is going to ban me because I'm white It's in the meets and parties if you don't believe me Just saw that and appalled by it. We've just commented on the thread. It will probably be an unpopular post but someone has to challenge that. I commented a few days ago and it was removed by the site. I wasn't rude about it either" I've seen that party advertised a few times and thought it was a bit strange. But they get business and people that go are obviously happy to play by there rules. I wouldn't be seen dead at a party that told me I could attend but couldnt play because of my race but to each their own I guess | |||
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"We have been to bmfc nights and have had a great time. Seen another BBC night advertised now on here where it states couples cannot play,no girl on girl and what I find very wrong it says white male partners cannot play with other women.... Well fuck me if I and another woman are happy to play.no one is going to ban me because I'm white It's in the meets and parties if you don't believe me That is appalling. I did report one thread a while ago when a (white) guy asked if he could go and was told words to the effect "dis is for black guys, not white guys - go to your own parties"" Disrespectful but to play devils advocate, on ‘normal’ swinger nights (I use that word cautiously but mean a non bi night) overt male bi play is frowned on but not female bi play. Is that not dissimilar where there are expectations of what’s acceptable and not and partly why niche events have arisen? Interracial play wouldn’t be excluded so the race comparison doesn’t work but the bisexual element does. | |||
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"We have been to bmfc nights and have had a great time. Seen another BBC night advertised now on here where it states couples cannot play,no girl on girl and what I find very wrong it says white male partners cannot play with other women.... Well fuck me if I and another woman are happy to play.no one is going to ban me because I'm white It's in the meets and parties if you don't believe me Just saw that and appalled by it. We've just commented on the thread. It will probably be an unpopular post but someone has to challenge that. I commented a few days ago and it was removed by the site. I wasn't rude about it either I've seen that party advertised a few times and thought it was a bit strange. But they get business and people that go are obviously happy to play by there rules. I wouldn't be seen dead at a party that told me I could attend but couldnt play because of my race but to each their own I guess "Indeed. I am not really seeing the difference in principle between BMFC and this place. Both fetishise race, just they take it further. As you say, if it's not your kink, don't go. | |||
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"Mandela, Luther King and Steve Biko gave their lives in the pursuit of removing racial barriers and segregation. The whole concept of racially selective gatherings is, in my opinion, abhorrent." I do not agree,interracial parties are about preference,nothing to do with racism,the past is the past let's move forward from that now BMFC has been running over 10 years and their parties are always packed,with all races,T-girls,white men etc are never declined to go,it's about being a fan of blackmen,interracial parties are very popular in the swinging scene I'm not a fan of couple's and single ladies nights,bdsm nights,gay and bi nights and many more parties that are for certain preferences,they don't get a battering because they are accepted,just wish that in this day and age people would accept PREFERENCE is not RASISM in this scene | |||
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"We have been to bmfc nights and have had a great time. Seen another BBC night advertised now on here where it states couples cannot play,no girl on girl and what I find very wrong it says white male partners cannot play with other women.... Well fuck me if I and another woman are happy to play.no one is going to ban me because I'm white It's in the meets and parties if you don't believe me Just saw that and appalled by it. We've just commented on the thread. It will probably be an unpopular post but someone has to challenge that. I commented a few days ago and it was removed by the site. I wasn't rude about it either I've seen that party advertised a few times and thought it was a bit strange. But they get business and people that go are obviously happy to play by there rules. I wouldn't be seen dead at a party that told me I could attend but couldnt play because of my race but to each their own I guess
Indeed. I am not really seeing the difference in principle between BMFC and this place. Both fetishise race, just they take it further.
As you say, if it's not your kink, don't go. "Unless I'm mistaken, ALL races are allowed to play at BMFC. | |||
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"We have been to bmfc nights and have had a great time. Seen another BBC night advertised now on here where it states couples cannot play,no girl on girl and what I find very wrong it says white male partners cannot play with other women.... Well fuck me if I and another woman are happy to play.no one is going to ban me because I'm white It's in the meets and parties if you don't believe me Just saw that and appalled by it. We've just commented on the thread. It will probably be an unpopular post but someone has to challenge that. I commented a few days ago and it was removed by the site. I wasn't rude about it either I've seen that party advertised a few times and thought it was a bit strange. But they get business and people that go are obviously happy to play by there rules. I wouldn't be seen dead at a party that told me I could attend but couldnt play because of my race but to each their own I guess
Indeed. I am not really seeing the difference in principle between BMFC and this place. Both fetishise race, just they take it further.
As you say, if it's not your kink, don't go.
Unless I'm mistaken, ALL races are allowed to play at BMFC."Yes, but it's still fetishing race, just like this other place. | |||
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"I've been on their website and I couldn't see anything..... "It’s not our parties that they’re talking about. It’s another event.... As other people have posted, anybody is welcome at our events. We don’t dictate who plays and who doesn’t play. We have a strict no pressure policy. But, we are aware of this other event. As long as people don’t get us confused, it’s up to that party organiser what they decide to do. We DEFINITELY don’t have the same concept | |||
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"We have been to bmfc nights and have had a great time. Seen another BBC night advertised now on here where it states couples cannot play,no girl on girl and what I find very wrong it says white male partners cannot play with other women.... Well fuck me if I and another woman are happy to play.no one is going to ban me because I'm white It's in the meets and parties if you don't believe me Just saw that and appalled by it. We've just commented on the thread. It will probably be an unpopular post but someone has to challenge that. I commented a few days ago and it was removed by the site. I wasn't rude about it either I've seen that party advertised a few times and thought it was a bit strange. But they get business and people that go are obviously happy to play by there rules. I wouldn't be seen dead at a party that told me I could attend but couldnt play because of my race but to each their own I guess
Indeed. I am not really seeing the difference in principle between BMFC and this place. Both fetishise race, just they take it further.
As you say, if it's not your kink, don't go.
Unless I'm mistaken, ALL races are allowed to play at BMFC.
Yes, but it's still fetishing race, just like this other place. "It is but if the black guys that go there don't mind then I don't really see the problem. | |||
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"We have been to bmfc nights and have had a great time. Seen another BBC night advertised now on here where it states couples cannot play,no girl on girl and what I find very wrong it says white male partners cannot play with other women.... Well fuck me if I and another woman are happy to play.no one is going to ban me because I'm white It's in the meets and parties if you don't believe me Just saw that and appalled by it. We've just commented on the thread. It will probably be an unpopular post but someone has to challenge that. I commented a few days ago and it was removed by the site. I wasn't rude about it either I've seen that party advertised a few times and thought it was a bit strange. But they get business and people that go are obviously happy to play by there rules. I wouldn't be seen dead at a party that told me I could attend but couldnt play because of my race but to each their own I guess
Indeed. I am not really seeing the difference in principle between BMFC and this place. Both fetishise race, just they take it further.
As you say, if it's not your kink, don't go.
Unless I'm mistaken, ALL races are allowed to play at BMFC.
Yes, but it's still fetishing race, just like this other place. "So when is it ok to fetishise an attribute? Believe me, race is one of the milder fetishes... | |||
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"We have been to bmfc nights and have had a great time. Seen another BBC night advertised now on here where it states couples cannot play,no girl on girl and what I find very wrong it says white male partners cannot play with other women.... Well fuck me if I and another woman are happy to play.no one is going to ban me because I'm white It's in the meets and parties if you don't believe me Just saw that and appalled by it. We've just commented on the thread. It will probably be an unpopular post but someone has to challenge that. I commented a few days ago and it was removed by the site. I wasn't rude about it either I've seen that party advertised a few times and thought it was a bit strange. But they get business and people that go are obviously happy to play by there rules. I wouldn't be seen dead at a party that told me I could attend but couldnt play because of my race but to each their own I guess
Indeed. I am not really seeing the difference in principle between BMFC and this place. Both fetishise race, just they take it further.
As you say, if it's not your kink, don't go.
Unless I'm mistaken, ALL races are allowed to play at BMFC.
Yes, but it's still fetishing race, just like this other place.
So when is it ok to fetishise an attribute?
Believe me, race is one of the milder fetishes... "That’s not a one word answer?!!! | |||
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"I have been to many Bmfc nights, as a white man I attend with my missus and I have played with many of the girls. To suggest that I’m not allowed or am not encouraged to Is utter rubbish. We go to the nights because the music and vibe is better than any other that we go to, nothing to do with race or fetish. I suggest you all try them, they are the best nights around " Bmfc don't restrict who you play with It's another night being talked about. | |||
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"I have been to many Bmfc nights, as a white man I attend with my missus and I have played with many of the girls. To suggest that I’m not allowed or am not encouraged to Is utter rubbish. We go to the nights because the music and vibe is better than any other that we go to, nothing to do with race or fetish. I suggest you all try them, they are the best nights around Bmfc don't restrict who you play with It's another night being talked about." I know, but being as I have first hand experience I thought it best to clarify | |||
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"I have been to many Bmfc nights, as a white man I attend with my missus and I have played with many of the girls. To suggest that I’m not allowed or am not encouraged to Is utter rubbish. We go to the nights because the music and vibe is better than any other that we go to, nothing to do with race or fetish. I suggest you all try them, they are the best nights around Bmfc don't restrict who you play with It's another night being talked about. I know, but being as I have first hand experience I thought it best to clarify " And we love you and your sexy Mrs!! | |||
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"I have been to many Bmfc nights, as a white man I attend with my missus and I have played with many of the girls. To suggest that I’m not allowed or am not encouraged to Is utter rubbish. We go to the nights because the music and vibe is better than any other that we go to, nothing to do with race or fetish. I suggest you all try them, they are the best nights around Bmfc don't restrict who you play with It's another night being talked about. I know, but being as I have first hand experience I thought it best to clarify And we love you and your sexy Mrs!! "Lol you have terrible taste young lady! | |||
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"I've been on their website and I couldn't see anything.....
Not bmfc
These parties have no racist rules
Look at black lush parties in meets on other topic
Any post that questions it gets removed
It is blatant Racism but the site is censoring anyone who questions it
We are surprised and somewhat disappointed by Fab's actions with regards to this.
Posts made on that thread to point out racism are being deleted. This thread is about a completely different event that does NOT have the same rules as the other.
Where would Fab accept members making a polite stance against the racism shown on the other thread in a way that it will be read by those on that thread?
This is not an attack on Fab but a genuine question. Hopefully it will not be deleted or end up with a ban!
This has already been addressed further up.
There is currently a topic going on about the mentioned party where no posts have been deleted 
I don't see how this has been addressed further up but really do not want to derail this thread as the issue is not with BMFC.
We cannot find the other thread you refer to, is it in the Lounge? Thank you. "Maybe the answer is to move your concern off this thread, perhaps report to Fab if you want, or open another thread to discuss. | |||
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" So when is it ok to fetishise an attribute? Believe me, race is one of the milder fetishes... "but it still comes back to what i originally said Whilst BMFC have in their advertising that cater for the "extra's black guys can give" they aren't really in a place where they can feign innocence... especially since the journo picked up on it the moral high ground is a sparsely populated area.... you can call it "insinuation on stereotypes" if you want but whilst they use it for ticket sales.... its not the best look | |||
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" So when is it ok to fetishise an attribute? Believe me, race is one of the milder fetishes...
but it still comes back to what i originally said
Whilst BMFC have in their advertising that cater for the "extra's black guys can give" they aren't really in a place where they can feign innocence... especially since the journo picked up on it
the moral high ground is a sparsely populated area....
you can call it "insinuation on stereotypes" if you want but whilst they use it for ticket sales.... its not the best look "Ouch - getting a bit personal there aren't you Fabio - especially as you will see we haven't once made any comments about this other party!!! | |||
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