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Club Newbie
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’m fairly new to this world, and have recently started thinking about attending a club for the first time, but I know very little about the ‘club world’.
These may seems like silly questions, but I am literally asking with absolutely zero club experience. I mean no disrespect at all by the following, and I apologise whole heartedly if I insult anyone.
So what actually happens at clubs? As a single male, what do I do? If I’m honest, I imagine walking into a large room full of couples banging away, and it all being a bit awkward. Do I just turn up and wait at the bar to be invited? I’m looking for a nice couple or single female to have passionate sensual fun with, rather than just a ‘wham bam thank you ma’am’ kind of thing, so would I be barking up the wrong tree by going to a club?
There’s things that I personally feel are a given, such as being well dressed and freshly showered, so does this tend to be the done thing? I’d hate to have any nasty surprises!
Thanks lovely peeps  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hanging around the bar is usually a good idea. You should expect to try and engage people in conversation though and not just wait to be invited. Also be friendly and chatty to all, they may be a guy or someone outside your idea of people to play with, but if they attend regularly and you're a gent then you could easily be introduced into wider conversations.
You can also head off to view rooms where people like to be watched. You may be invited to join in at that point too.
Smoking areas (I'm led to believe) and hot tubs are other good areas to socialise.
The big no no for us are people who don't talk, or people who are dicks. Mostly hate the silent followers.
Men we've played with in clubs have been ones we've either got chatting to in a social area and we hit it off with, or at the weekend a guy that had been introduced to us by another couple who we invited to join in when we all ended up in the same room. |
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Clubs vary massively from each other, but all generally have a social area and an assortment of play rooms.
The best way to "get involved" is to hang about in the social area and chat to people. Don't have any expectations of how your night will turn out, just chat with folk and go with the flow.
Cal |
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The best advice as a first-timer in a club, would be to find a friendly female and go as a couple, on a couples and single female only night. You will have a more pleasurable experience all round in my opinion, of being made to feel welcome, than going as a single guy on a night when single guys are ‘allowed’ in. God luck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You don't just walk into a club and there are people bonking everywhere.
Depending on the club, you start at the bar and social area. Tell a member of staff it's your first time and they should show you around and advise on etiquette.
Make an effort to interact in the social areas, don't become a wanking zombie and don't touch without politely asking. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks peeps! So basically, get chatting to someone in the social area, and go with the flow! Excellent! Now to find a venue, date, and a plus-one if possible! |
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"Hanging around the bar is usually a good idea. You should expect to try and engage people in conversation though and not just wait to be invited. Also be friendly and chatty to all, they may be a guy or someone outside your idea of people to play with, but if they attend regularly and you're a gent then you could easily be introduced into wider conversations.
You can also head off to view rooms where people like to be watched. You may be invited to join in at that point too.
Smoking areas (I'm led to believe) and hot tubs are other good areas to socialise.
The big no no for us are people who don't talk, or people who are dicks. Mostly hate the silent followers.
Men we've played with in clubs have been ones we've either got chatting to in a social area and we hit it off with, or at the weekend a guy that had been introduced to us by another couple who we invited to join in when we all ended up in the same room."
Well said. ......now when I started swinging 2 years ago I find it difficult to gel in with couples or I just don't know how to interact with them.so as times goes by when ever I visited a swingers club I did say hello to couples, single women ,and talk to everyone. Some couple liked it and some just don't. Some couple.....as soon as I say hello to them...they say ,sorry we don't do black guys...some couple really interested in me having a chat with them.as for me...no hard feelings or whatsoever ,it's what they want and we need to respect that.I've learn a lot from swinging.....as a single guy;the more I commit myself into social ,the more lucky I get . |
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By *not69Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"Hanging around the bar is usually a good idea. You should expect to try and engage people in conversation though and not just wait to be invited. Also be friendly and chatty to all, they may be a guy or someone outside your idea of people to play with, but if they attend regularly and you're a gent then you could easily be introduced into wider conversations.
You can also head off to view rooms where people like to be watched. You may be invited to join in at that point too.
Smoking areas (I'm led to believe) and hot tubs are other good areas to socialise.
The big no no for us are people who don't talk, or people who are dicks. Mostly hate the silent followers.
Men we've played with in clubs have been ones we've either got chatting to in a social area and we hit it off with, or at the weekend a guy that had been introduced to us by another couple who we invited to join in when we all ended up in the same room."
if you follow this advice you'll not go far wrong. I might add, dont go there with expectations of playing, look to make friends and consider any fun as a bonus. |
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"Hanging around the bar is usually a good idea. You should expect to try and engage people in conversation though and not just wait to be invited. Also be friendly and chatty to all, they may be a guy or someone outside your idea of people to play with, but if they attend regularly and you're a gent then you could easily be introduced into wider conversations.
You can also head off to view rooms where people like to be watched. You may be invited to join in at that point too.
Smoking areas (I'm led to believe) and hot tubs are other good areas to socialise.
The big no no for us are people who don't talk, or people who are dicks. Mostly hate the silent followers.
Men we've played with in clubs have been ones we've either got chatting to in a social area and we hit it off with, or at the weekend a guy that had been introduced to us by another couple who we invited to join in when we all ended up in the same room.
Well said. ......now when I started swinging 2 years ago I find it difficult to gel in with couples or I just don't know how to interact with them.so as times goes by when ever I visited a swingers club I did say hello to couples, single women ,and talk to everyone. Some couple liked it and some just don't. Some couple.....as soon as I say hello to them...they say ,sorry we don't do black guys...some couple really interested in me having a chat with them.as for me...no hard feelings or whatsoever ,it's what they want and we need to respect that.I've learn a lot from swinging.....as a single guy;the more I commit myself into social ,the more lucky I get ."
I’ve noticed from similar profiles to your own, that the club/party scene is more open to single guys in the South, than it is further North |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The best advice as a first-timer in a club, would be to find a friendly female and go as a couple, on a couples and single female only night. You will have a more pleasurable experience all round in my opinion, of being made to feel welcome, than going as a single guy on a night when single guys are ‘allowed’ in. God luck "
We wouldn't be interested in playing with anyone who had just coupled up for the night if we realised once we started chatting. Much prefer established couples who get enjoyment from not only the doing but the enjoyment of sharing your someone special.
Also wouldn't much be interested in playing with just one part of a newly coupled up couple, would rather just find a single. If that's what we were searching for on that evening, and it was exactly that last weekend.
Never been to a club as a single guy (given im a female and we only go together) so the advice may well be sound, not trying to say it isn't. Just advising that this tactic would certainly get a no from us in the way a single male wouldn't, so something to consider before looking to couple up for a club night |
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"The best advice as a first-timer in a club, would be to find a friendly female and go as a couple, on a couples and single female only night. You will have a more pleasurable experience all round in my opinion, of being made to feel welcome, than going as a single guy on a night when single guys are ‘allowed’ in. God luck
We wouldn't be interested in playing with anyone who had just coupled up for the night if we realised once we started chatting. Much prefer established couples who get enjoyment from not only the doing but the enjoyment of sharing your someone special.
Also wouldn't much be interested in playing with just one part of a newly coupled up couple, would rather just find a single. If that's what we were searching for on that evening, and it was exactly that last weekend.
Never been to a club as a single guy (given im a female and we only go together) so the advice may well be sound, not trying to say it isn't. Just advising that this tactic would certainly get a no from us in the way a single male wouldn't, so something to consider before looking to couple up for a club night"
My suggestion was based around the OP being completely new to the club scene, and having gone through the trauma of being a single guy in a swingers club for the first time, all alone, and virtually ignored, or having couples look down their noses at me for being ‘just another single guy looking to empty his sack’, is enough to put you off trying a club ever again. |
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By *haunMan
over a year ago
Halton |
"The best advice as a first-timer in a club, would be to find a friendly female and go as a couple, on a couples and single female only night. You will have a more pleasurable experience all round in my opinion, of being made to feel welcome, than going as a single guy on a night when single guys are ‘allowed’ in. God luck
We wouldn't be interested in playing with anyone who had just coupled up for the night if we realised once we started chatting. Much prefer established couples who get enjoyment from not only the doing but the enjoyment of sharing your someone special.
Also wouldn't much be interested in playing with just one part of a newly coupled up couple, would rather just find a single. If that's what we were searching for on that evening, and it was exactly that last weekend.
Never been to a club as a single guy (given im a female and we only go together) so the advice may well be sound, not trying to say it isn't. Just advising that this tactic would certainly get a no from us in the way a single male wouldn't, so something to consider before looking to couple up for a club night
My suggestion was based around the OP being completely new to the club scene, and having gone through the trauma of being a single guy in a swingers club for the first time, all alone, and virtually ignored, or having couples look down their noses at me for being ‘just another single guy looking to empty his sack’, is enough to put you off trying a club ever again. "
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At some point you have to make the step to go in on your own.
Yes, it's not easy.
But the majority of visits to a club for a single man are social in nature.
I wouldn't suggest trying to randomly hook up before hand to go in as a couple.
One, some clubs don't allow this and two, as mentioned above..
Can give the wrong impression or people may look down on it.
Can give a lowered reputation before you've even started.
As a variation on this suggestion.
Maybe look to catching up socially for a bit with a single lady or couple who are happy to meet you inside the club.
That way you've shown willing to go in on your own.
But don't hog their time.
And sit around in one of the socially busier areas and chat normally to everyone.
Or..
Find a local club running a Social event.
Great opportunity to check out the club and chat to one or two regulars.
Clubs are great fun.
They are very social, very friendly but like anything it takes time.
If you moved to a new area and went into the local pub..
It would take a couple of visits for the regulars to get to know you.
If you acted an arse on your first visit? Then it would always count against you.
You would need to make an effort and chat.
Same applies to clubs.
Great Social places that happen to have people very much dressed down with other like-minded people.
With convient rooms to hand if people do fancy getting more aquatinted.
Good luck OP.
Just take the plunge and try it out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The best advice as a first-timer in a club, would be to find a friendly female and go as a couple, on a couples and single female only night. You will have a more pleasurable experience all round in my opinion, of being made to feel welcome, than going as a single guy on a night when single guys are ‘allowed’ in. God luck
We wouldn't be interested in playing with anyone who had just coupled up for the night if we realised once we started chatting. Much prefer established couples who get enjoyment from not only the doing but the enjoyment of sharing your someone special.
Also wouldn't much be interested in playing with just one part of a newly coupled up couple, would rather just find a single. If that's what we were searching for on that evening, and it was exactly that last weekend.
Never been to a club as a single guy (given im a female and we only go together) so the advice may well be sound, not trying to say it isn't. Just advising that this tactic would certainly get a no from us in the way a single male wouldn't, so something to consider before looking to couple up for a club night
My suggestion was based around the OP being completely new to the club scene, and having gone through the trauma of being a single guy in a swingers club for the first time, all alone, and virtually ignored, or having couples look down their noses at me for being ‘just another single guy looking to empty his sack’, is enough to put you off trying a club ever again.
---
---
---
At some point you have to make the step to go in on your own.
Yes, it's not easy.
But the majority of visits to a club for a single man are social in nature.
I wouldn't suggest trying to randomly hook up before hand to go in as a couple.
One, some clubs don't allow this and two, as mentioned above..
Can give the wrong impression or people may look down on it.
Can give a lowered reputation before you've even started.
As a variation on this suggestion.
Maybe look to catching up socially for a bit with a single lady or couple who are happy to meet you inside the club.
That way you've shown willing to go in on your own.
But don't hog their time.
And sit around in one of the socially busier areas and chat normally to everyone.
Or..
Find a local club running a Social event.
Great opportunity to check out the club and chat to one or two regulars.
Clubs are great fun.
They are very social, very friendly but like anything it takes time.
If you moved to a new area and went into the local pub..
It would take a couple of visits for the regulars to get to know you.
If you acted an arse on your first visit? Then it would always count against you.
You would need to make an effort and chat.
Same applies to clubs.
Great Social places that happen to have people very much dressed down with other like-minded people.
With convient rooms to hand if people do fancy getting more aquatinted.
Good luck OP.
Just take the plunge and try it out."
Great idea. We would agree to have a chat to a new single if they contacted us when we have a meet up, so they could get over the nerves. Even offered to meet a single outside the cub and head in together before but he didn't follow through on it.
We love clubs because of the social side. |
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"The best advice as a first-timer in a club, would be to find a friendly female and go as a couple, on a couples and single female only night. You will have a more pleasurable experience all round in my opinion, of being made to feel welcome, than going as a single guy on a night when single guys are ‘allowed’ in. God luck
We wouldn't be interested in playing with anyone who had just coupled up for the night if we realised once we started chatting. Much prefer established couples who get enjoyment from not only the doing but the enjoyment of sharing your someone special.
Also wouldn't much be interested in playing with just one part of a newly coupled up couple, would rather just find a single. If that's what we were searching for on that evening, and it was exactly that last weekend.
Never been to a club as a single guy (given im a female and we only go together) so the advice may well be sound, not trying to say it isn't. Just advising that this tactic would certainly get a no from us in the way a single male wouldn't, so something to consider before looking to couple up for a club night
My suggestion was based around the OP being completely new to the club scene, and having gone through the trauma of being a single guy in a swingers club for the first time, all alone, and virtually ignored, or having couples look down their noses at me for being ‘just another single guy looking to empty his sack’, is enough to put you off trying a club ever again.
---
---
---
At some point you have to make the step to go in on your own.
Yes, it's not easy.
But the majority of visits to a club for a single man are social in nature.
I wouldn't suggest trying to randomly hook up before hand to go in as a couple.
One, some clubs don't allow this and two, as mentioned above..
Can give the wrong impression or people may look down on it.
Can give a lowered reputation before you've even started.
As a variation on this suggestion.
Maybe look to catching up socially for a bit with a single lady or couple who are happy to meet you inside the club.
That way you've shown willing to go in on your own.
But don't hog their time.
And sit around in one of the socially busier areas and chat normally to everyone.
Or..
Find a local club running a Social event.
Great opportunity to check out the club and chat to one or two regulars.
Clubs are great fun.
They are very social, very friendly but like anything it takes time.
If you moved to a new area and went into the local pub..
It would take a couple of visits for the regulars to get to know you.
If you acted an arse on your first visit? Then it would always count against you.
You would need to make an effort and chat.
Same applies to clubs.
Great Social places that happen to have people very much dressed down with other like-minded people.
With convient rooms to hand if people do fancy getting more aquatinted.
Good luck OP.
Just take the plunge and try it out."
I did take the plunge, twice, two different clubs. I’m hoping it’s going to be ‘third time lucky’ at the next club I plan to visit, that I actually enjoy the experience |
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