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Favourite BDSM events and parties
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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire |
"Following the chakalaka thread in trying new clubs, I'm interested in trying new bdsm clubs, events and parties. What's your favourites? Where do you recommend to get your kink on?  "
Townhouse on the Wirral offer an array of fetish events. 1st and 3rd Friday are the Radical Desire fetish nights and some have a theme. They also have days/nights to celebrate particular fetishes. Deffo worth a look at the calendar on their website. You can also sleep over at the venue for some events. |
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"Following the chakalaka thread in trying new clubs, I'm interested in trying new bdsm clubs, events and parties. What's your favourites? Where do you recommend to get your kink on?
Townhouse on the Wirral offer an array of fetish events. 1st and 3rd Friday are the Radical Desire fetish nights and some have a theme. They also have days/nights to celebrate particular fetishes. Deffo worth a look at the calendar on their website. You can also sleep over at the venue for some events. "
Yes I went to TH in November and loved it but it was a night the dungeon was closed. They kindly showed me it though and I plan to attend one of their kink events this year.
Of all the UK clubs I see TH and _tasia both being the best at providing great events for the kink crowd  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing "
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical. "
If you use your imagination (if you have one) then there are very easy ways to get around the "hypocritical" all black or fetishwear rules that most fetish nights have......  |
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We relaxed our dress code up until about a year ago and allowed people to attend in what they wished as an experiment and everybody bar one or two, still attended in all dark clothing/fetishwear/alternative wear. What we find is that true fetishists actually want to dress in a certain way as this is part of their experience of attending such an event. Those who dressed in nilla wear felt a little out of place as 99% had chosen the fetish dresscode and this affected their night. So even without us enforcing it, the punters made their own decision. So we went back to the original dress code and it works well.
Most guys who don't want to wear fetish wear, just arrive in dark trousers and shirt/TShirt xx |
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"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical. "
I don't see it as hypocritical, just a filter for those who can't be bothered. You make an effort in dressing to impress on normal nights so I'm sure you can get in. |
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"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical. "
What would you wear? |
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"Following the chakalaka thread in trying new clubs, I'm interested in trying new bdsm clubs, events and parties. What's your favourites? Where do you recommend to get your kink on?
Townhouse on the Wirral offer an array of fetish events. 1st and 3rd Friday are the Radical Desire fetish nights and some have a theme. They also have days/nights to celebrate particular fetishes. Deffo worth a look at the calendar on their website. You can also sleep over at the venue for some events.
Yes I went to TH in November and loved it but it was a night the dungeon was closed. They kindly showed me it though and I plan to attend one of their kink events this year.
Of all the UK clubs I see TH and _tasia both being the best at providing great events for the kink crowd "
Ooo it was me who showed you around
I second the townhouse events, the array of equipment and then specialised events are the best around for sure |
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By *ndykinkyMan
over a year ago
STOKE-ON-TRENT |
Fetish Event at Club Atlantis Evolution in Burslem, Stoke-on-Trent on the fourth Sunday of every month.
Also a Rope Jam on the second Wednesday of every month.
For a trial period there is Swinger's Fetish Event starting Sunday 9th April. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Following the chakalaka thread in trying new clubs, I'm interested in trying new bdsm clubs, events and parties. What's your favourites? Where do you recommend to get your kink on? "
In London you have Anti-Christ Torture Garden which are great crossover events. Decadence And Subversion are smaller events and have great reputations.
I love O&I at Eureaka's but have always give as part of a group. And tried Twisted at VA a couple if weeks ago and was really impressed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Following the chakalaka thread in trying new clubs, I'm interested in trying new bdsm clubs, events and parties. What's your favourites? Where do you recommend to get your kink on? "
My favourites are Liberty Elite and Townhouse International. Also enjoyed Playspace (Camberley), MARS and Xstasia. They all have their own different flavours and reasons why I like them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We relaxed our dress code up until about a year ago and allowed people to attend in what they wished as an experiment and everybody bar one or two, still attended in all dark clothing/fetishwear/alternative wear. What we find is that true fetishists actually want to dress in a certain way as this is part of their experience of attending such an event. Those who dressed in nilla wear felt a little out of place as 99% had chosen the fetish dresscode and this affected their night. So even without us enforcing it, the punters made their own decision. So we went back to the original dress code and it works well.
Most guys who don't want to wear fetish wear, just arrive in dark trousers and shirt/TShirt xx"
You've walked straight into the "No True Scotsman" fallacy there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical.
I don't see it as hypocritical, just a filter for those who can't be bothered. You make an effort in dressing to impress on normal nights so I'm sure you can get in. "
It doesn't only filter out those who can't be bothered. I have no problem with making an effort in my appearance (subject to limitations imposed by nature). What I object to is being required to wear what's basically a uniform before being allowed through the door. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical.
What would you wear? "
Much the same as I'd wear to a regular club night, smart clothes, polished shoes etc. Kink is about who you are and what you do, not how you dress. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Partners, Bury has the "Kage" every last Sunday of month and there is Townhouse which is very good for fetish/BDSM.
If anyone wishes to make a further step there is "Unleashed" this year @ the Scala in London 3rd June ... but not for all !  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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forgot to "Unleashed" it is a must to dress to impress..Hubby is going as Phantom of Night and I as Lady of the Night... will be interesting taxi ride there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical.
I don't see it as hypocritical, just a filter for those who can't be bothered. You make an effort in dressing to impress on normal nights so I'm sure you can get in.
It doesn't only filter out those who can't be bothered. I have no problem with making an effort in my appearance (subject to limitations imposed by nature). What I object to is being required to wear what's basically a uniform before being allowed through the door."
It's not a uniform though is it? At every kink event I've ever been to there a huge range of outfits and styles. The minimum requirement is no street wear, that leaves plenty of options. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Partners, Bury has the "Kage" every last Sunday of month and there is Townhouse which is very good for fetish/BDSM.
If anyone wishes to make a further step there is "Unleashed" this year @ the Scala in London 3rd June ... but not for all ! "
I hadn't heard about that, I've long said that Scala would make a great venue for a fet event. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical.
I don't see it as hypocritical, just a filter for those who can't be bothered. You make an effort in dressing to impress on normal nights so I'm sure you can get in.
It doesn't only filter out those who can't be bothered. I have no problem with making an effort in my appearance (subject to limitations imposed by nature). What I object to is being required to wear what's basically a uniform before being allowed through the door.
It's not a uniform though is it? At every kink event I've ever been to there a huge range of outfits and styles. The minimum requirement is no street wear, that leaves plenty of options."
No, the minimum requirement at every event I've seen listed since HDZ went fetishwear-only is all black or specific fetishwear. Now, perhaps I'm being too stringent in my interpretation of what that means, but every description I've seen of what constitutes fetishwear has revolved around some combination of rubber, PVC, leather and latex, none of which I would be physically (or psychologically) comfortable wearing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical.
I don't see it as hypocritical, just a filter for those who can't be bothered. You make an effort in dressing to impress on normal nights so I'm sure you can get in.
It doesn't only filter out those who can't be bothered. I have no problem with making an effort in my appearance (subject to limitations imposed by nature). What I object to is being required to wear what's basically a uniform before being allowed through the door.
It's not a uniform though is it? At every kink event I've ever been to there a huge range of outfits and styles. The minimum requirement is no street wear, that leaves plenty of options.
No, the minimum requirement at every event I've seen listed since HDZ went fetishwear-only is all black or specific fetishwear. Now, perhaps I'm being too stringent in my interpretation of what that means, but every description I've seen of what constitutes fetishwear has revolved around some combination of rubber, PVC, leather and latex, none of which I would be physically (or psychologically) comfortable wearing."
I own no leather, rubber or PVC and my only latex is limited to a tie. I go to lots of fet events. I've even wore jeans after sending a pic of am outfit to a club which said no denim |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical.
I don't see it as hypocritical, just a filter for those who can't be bothered. You make an effort in dressing to impress on normal nights so I'm sure you can get in.
It doesn't only filter out those who can't be bothered. I have no problem with making an effort in my appearance (subject to limitations imposed by nature). What I object to is being required to wear what's basically a uniform before being allowed through the door.
It's not a uniform though is it? At every kink event I've ever been to there a huge range of outfits and styles. The minimum requirement is no street wear, that leaves plenty of options.
No, the minimum requirement at every event I've seen listed since HDZ went fetishwear-only is all black or specific fetishwear. Now, perhaps I'm being too stringent in my interpretation of what that means, but every description I've seen of what constitutes fetishwear has revolved around some combination of rubber, PVC, leather and latex, none of which I would be physically (or psychologically) comfortable wearing.
I own no leather, rubber or PVC and my only latex is limited to a tie. I go to lots of fet events. I've even wore jeans after sending a pic of am outfit to a club which said no denim"
Then the so-called dress code is so lax as to be meaningless and only serves to put people off attending the event. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical.
I don't see it as hypocritical, just a filter for those who can't be bothered. You make an effort in dressing to impress on normal nights so I'm sure you can get in.
It doesn't only filter out those who can't be bothered. I have no problem with making an effort in my appearance (subject to limitations imposed by nature). What I object to is being required to wear what's basically a uniform before being allowed through the door.
It's not a uniform though is it? At every kink event I've ever been to there a huge range of outfits and styles. The minimum requirement is no street wear, that leaves plenty of options.
No, the minimum requirement at every event I've seen listed since HDZ went fetishwear-only is all black or specific fetishwear. Now, perhaps I'm being too stringent in my interpretation of what that means, but every description I've seen of what constitutes fetishwear has revolved around some combination of rubber, PVC, leather and latex, none of which I would be physically (or psychologically) comfortable wearing.
I own no leather, rubber or PVC and my only latex is limited to a tie. I go to lots of fet events. I've even wore jeans after sending a pic of am outfit to a club which said no denim
Then the so-called dress code is so lax as to be meaningless and only serves to put people off attending the event."
I think you are so desperate to say you can't go to fet events because the dress code excludes you that you may have missed the point I was making |
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"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical.
I don't see it as hypocritical, just a filter for those who can't be bothered. You make an effort in dressing to impress on normal nights so I'm sure you can get in.
It doesn't only filter out those who can't be bothered. I have no problem with making an effort in my appearance (subject to limitations imposed by nature). What I object to is being required to wear what's basically a uniform before being allowed through the door.
It's not a uniform though is it? At every kink event I've ever been to there a huge range of outfits and styles. The minimum requirement is no street wear, that leaves plenty of options.
No, the minimum requirement at every event I've seen listed since HDZ went fetishwear-only is all black or specific fetishwear. Now, perhaps I'm being too stringent in my interpretation of what that means, but every description I've seen of what constitutes fetishwear has revolved around some combination of rubber, PVC, leather and latex, none of which I would be physically (or psychologically) comfortable wearing.
I own no leather, rubber or PVC and my only latex is limited to a tie. I go to lots of fet events. I've even wore jeans after sending a pic of am outfit to a club which said no denim
Then the so-called dress code is so lax as to be meaningless and only serves to put people off attending the event."
Steampunk is fetish and you don't see much leather pvc or latex there! I have a friend who wears a fetish top and that's neither of them too. Maybe you're thinking too rigidly? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
*trimmed for length*
I think you are so desperate to say you can't go to fet events because the dress code excludes you that you may have missed the point I was making "
I'm not desperate to say that at all, in fact I'm frustrated as hell about it. Perhaps I have missed your point, but if so then I've no idea what it is - what you seem to be saying is that you can wear whatever you want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" *trimmed for length*
Steampunk is fetish and you don't see much leather pvc or latex there! I have a friend who wears a fetish top and that's neither of them too. Maybe you're thinking too rigidly? "
Since when is steampunk fetish? Could someone provide an actual definition of what does and doesn't count? |
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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago
carrbrook stalybridge |
"
*trimmed for length*
I think you are so desperate to say you can't go to fet events because the dress code excludes you that you may have missed the point I was making
I'm not desperate to say that at all, in fact I'm frustrated as hell about it. Perhaps I have missed your point, but if so then I've no idea what it is - what you seem to be saying is that you can wear whatever you want."
just wear a nice suite and tie cant see what your getting so het up about ANYTHING can be considered a fetish within reason just dont turn up in jeans trainers and a tshirt and expect to get in make an effort is what the rules are about
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
*trimmed for length*
I think you are so desperate to say you can't go to fet events because the dress code excludes you that you may have missed the point I was making
I'm not desperate to say that at all, in fact I'm frustrated as hell about it. Perhaps I have missed your point, but if so then I've no idea what it is - what you seem to be saying is that you can wear whatever you want.just wear a nice suite and tie cant see what your getting so het up about ANYTHING can be considered a fetish within reason just dont turn up in jeans trainers and a tshirt and expect to get in make an effort is what the rules are about
"
Then perhaps the rules should say that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" *trimmed for length*
Steampunk is fetish and you don't see much leather pvc or latex there! I have a friend who wears a fetish top and that's neither of them too. Maybe you're thinking too rigidly?
Since when is steampunk fetish? Could someone provide an actual definition of what does and doesn't count?"
You;ve never actually looked in to this have you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
*trimmed for length*
I think you are so desperate to say you can't go to fet events because the dress code excludes you that you may have missed the point I was making
I'm not desperate to say that at all, in fact I'm frustrated as hell about it. Perhaps I have missed your point, but if so then I've no idea what it is - what you seem to be saying is that you can wear whatever you want."
My point is that there are countless options if you have a bit of imagination that you can wear that do not include leather PVC or rubber |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" *trimmed for length*
Steampunk is fetish and you don't see much leather pvc or latex there! I have a friend who wears a fetish top and that's neither of them too. Maybe you're thinking too rigidly?
Since when is steampunk fetish? Could someone provide an actual definition of what does and doesn't count?
You;ve never actually looked in to this have you?"
Yes, and the closest I've ever found to a definition is what I've been working from. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
*trimmed for length*
I think you are so desperate to say you can't go to fet events because the dress code excludes you that you may have missed the point I was making
I'm not desperate to say that at all, in fact I'm frustrated as hell about it. Perhaps I have missed your point, but if so then I've no idea what it is - what you seem to be saying is that you can wear whatever you want.
My point is that there are countless options if you have a bit of imagination that you can wear that do not include leather PVC or rubber"
Except that everything I've seen up to now has said that those options don't fall under the heading of fetishwear and would result in me getting turned away from an event. |
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"KitKat club berlin
I've heard it's a pig to get into 
Watching this thread with interest. Planning on visiting After Dark at Libs next Thursday to check it out."
I went there maybe 15 years ago just before it moved Location. This was before I was on the swing club scene. I didn't find it a pig to get in...but then I've got tits |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Utopia in the Freubad Recherswil Switzerland is also something to look for if you want to travel..about 60 miles from Zurich (train airport to Solothurn; then taxi).... But not for faint hearted  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical.
What would you wear?
Much the same as I'd wear to a regular club night, smart clothes, polished shoes etc. Kink is about who you are and what you do, not how you dress."
Then what are you complaining about as you would be let in in smart dress. As long as it's a shirt and no jeans you would be fine.
The black dress code is for unsure people, nothing wrong in smart attire at all. Maybe you just should have asked rather than assume? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the fet events x2 Saturday afternoons per month at Quest are very well attended, friendly, excellent soundtrack and very very kinky happenings! The dress code is very broad - wear dark or smart or make an effort in some way (no scruffy jeans or sportswear). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical.
What would you wear?
Much the same as I'd wear to a regular club night, smart clothes, polished shoes etc. Kink is about who you are and what you do, not how you dress.
Then what are you complaining about as you would be let in in smart dress. As long as it's a shirt and no jeans you would be fine.
The black dress code is for unsure people, nothing wrong in smart attire at all. Maybe you just should have asked rather than assume?"
If a dress code requirement says "all black or fetish ware only", that's what I take it to mean. That's not an assumption, it's taking an outright statement of policy at face value. Why would I question it? |
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"the fet events x2 Saturday afternoons per month at Quest are very well attended, friendly, excellent soundtrack and very very kinky happenings! The dress code is very broad - wear dark or smart or make an effort in some way (no scruffy jeans or sportswear)."
Yes! I love the quest kink events euphoria MO etc. I even had a private session last year with the pro Domme who runs them. Loved it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical.
What would you wear?
Much the same as I'd wear to a regular club night, smart clothes, polished shoes etc. Kink is about who you are and what you do, not how you dress.
Then what are you complaining about as you would be let in in smart dress. As long as it's a shirt and no jeans you would be fine.
The black dress code is for unsure people, nothing wrong in smart attire at all. Maybe you just should have asked rather than assume?
If a dress code requirement says "all black or fetish ware only", that's what I take it to mean. That's not an assumption, it's taking an outright statement of policy at face value. Why would I question it?"
Why is all black such an issue? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical.
What would you wear?
Much the same as I'd wear to a regular club night, smart clothes, polished shoes etc. Kink is about who you are and what you do, not how you dress.
Then what are you complaining about as you would be let in in smart dress. As long as it's a shirt and no jeans you would be fine.
The black dress code is for unsure people, nothing wrong in smart attire at all. Maybe you just should have asked rather than assume?
If a dress code requirement says "all black or fetish ware only", that's what I take it to mean. That's not an assumption, it's taking an outright statement of policy at face value. Why would I question it?
Why is all black such an issue?"
Because I don't like it, I don't look good in it (so far as I look good in anything) and for personal reasons it reminds of some things I'd rather not be reminded of, which are no one else's business. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our stipulation isn't all BLACK. It's all DARK or fetish or alternative. So there are several possibilities within these parameters that suit most x"
Well I appreciate your flexibility on the matter, I wish people at this end of the country shared it. |
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"Our stipulation isn't all BLACK. It's all DARK or fetish or alternative. So there are several possibilities within these parameters that suit most x
Well I appreciate your flexibility on the matter, I wish people at this end of the country shared it."
As Andy Kinky said, I would contact your chosen venue directly and explain your situation. Most organisers try to be inclusive and I am sure there would be room for negotiation or some alternatives that could be considered? It's worth a try rather than ruling out attendance all together? xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our stipulation isn't all BLACK. It's all DARK or fetish or alternative. So there are several possibilities within these parameters that suit most x
Well I appreciate your flexibility on the matter, I wish people at this end of the country shared it.
As Andy Kinky said, I would contact your chosen venue directly and explain your situation. Most organisers try to be inclusive and I am sure there would be room for negotiation or some alternatives that could be considered? It's worth a try rather than ruling out attendance all together? xx"
Exactly well said from both of you. We had a gent that prefers suits and he was welcome in with no issues. All you need to do is ask. Everyone's kink/Fetish dress is different so if you unsure just ask. As has been said most clubs will happily accommodate someone's kink if they ask. |
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By *mega_1Woman
over a year ago
Birkenhead |
"Following the chakalaka thread in trying new clubs, I'm interested in trying new bdsm clubs, events and parties. What's your favourites? Where do you recommend to get your kink on?
Townhouse on the Wirral offer an array of fetish events. 1st and 3rd Friday are the Radical Desire fetish nights and some have a theme. They also have days/nights to celebrate particular fetishes. Deffo worth a look at the calendar on their website. You can also sleep over at the venue for some events.
Yes I went to TH in November and loved it but it was a night the dungeon was closed. They kindly showed me it though and I plan to attend one of their kink events this year.
Of all the UK clubs I see TH and _tasia both being the best at providing great events for the kink crowd "
Not been to Xtasia yet but I absolutely love the fet nights at Townhouse.
The equipment there is just outstanding and there's so much room to play. |
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"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical. "
I agree. We'd like to attend some fetish events but don't have any fetish wear and would like to go and see what people actually wear before investing - bit of a catch-22  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical.
I agree. We'd like to attend some fetish events but don't have any fetish wear and would like to go and see what people actually wear before investing - bit of a catch-22 "
Fetish can be anything to a certain degree,
Women
Fancy dress Alice in wonderland for example, furies, Uniforms, leather, pvc, latex, underwear, dress, collar or bondage wear
Men
Suit, Smart dress, latex, leather, pvc, uniforms, bondage underwear or all black if your stuck
Unsure as the venue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you said to me two years ago I would be wearing fancy dress I would not have believed you.
I agree clothes are not a requirement for a kinky mind set. I have gone to Kestrels and done scenes nude.
However events and parties are not a scene, they are trying to create an atmosphere and an identity. I have found outfits can create a freedom and escape. Fetish is being out of the normal, smart suits smacks of 50 shades of ......
I have also found as others have mentioned fetish wear includes steam punk, Georgian, scottish kilts, roman kilts, victoriana, Edwardian, military, fairy tale characters, fantasy characters anything but boring normal.
The people I have had an issue with is the Subversion brand who have one rule for their mates and a different one for others.
In my experience tourists go for the line of least resistance in clothes not straying from their vanilla roots I prefer meeting kinky people for their liveliness and imagination. If I want smart suits I can go to a sales convention. |
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By *ecretsRmineWoman
over a year ago
gatwickish (yes that means near Gatwick) |
"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical.
If you use your imagination (if you have one) then there are very easy ways to get around the "hypocritical" all black or fetishwear rules that most fetish nights have...... "
This is true and you miss out on some great events. try combat style trousers, belt with your floggers attached, tshirt, waist coat, lots of ways to tweek. |
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Quest in Leeds is excellent, as is Townhouse and Kage/Partners in Bury.
On the dress code thing. Firstly pretty much anything would be fetish - and on another site begining with F and L it is a frequent question for people who are attending for the first time so the best advice is to ask in advance |
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By *tasiaCouple
over a year ago
West Bromwich |
"Are there any that don't insist on the "all-black or fetish wear" rule? I refuse to wear either.
Not that I know of - that's kind of the standard fet thing
For a scene that supposedly prides itself on people being free to express themselvessel how they wish, that's rather hypocritical.
What would you wear?
Much the same as I'd wear to a regular club night, smart clothes, polished shoes etc. Kink is about who you are and what you do, not how you dress."
Totally agree with this, and as long as clean and tidy you'd normally get admission to our events whatever the dress code says. Some events are specific, ie naked sub nights for example, but most ask you to make an effort, that's all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unless it was a high protocol event I really would not want to go to a fetish night where the men were suited and booted like a wannabee Christian Grey and women in ordinary dresses.
It would be best then if the advertisement said smart wear and fetish wear then I would know not to attend.
I agree with the argument clothes don't dictate the kinkyness of the individual. However if I am going to an event I am going for atmosphere. As an example if an event was advertised as requiring formal evening wear for men and ballgowns for women and half the people have not made the effort, I would suggest that it would detract from the atmosphere of the event. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
and this thread is why i like my fet with swing..rather than trad fet events..more interested in what to wear or not, than actually whats going to be going on...debates..
saying that i love the annex at kings lynn as a private hire dungeon and the fet nights, even socially i was made to feel welcome.
i have heard nothing but good stuff about wonderland events and hope to attend one. as they are themed, dress code doesnt come into it..
of others, i have yet to be convinced to attend x |
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"and this thread is why i like my fet with swing..rather than trad fet events..more interested in what to wear or not, than actually whats going to be going on...debates..
saying that i love the annex at kings lynn as a private hire dungeon and the fet nights, even socially i was made to feel welcome.
i have heard nothing but good stuff about wonderland events and hope to attend one. as they are themed, dress code doesnt come into it..
of others, i have yet to be convinced to attend x"
Wonderland are great, I've done 4 including the very first one |
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"Unless it was a high protocol event I really would not want to go to a fetish night where the men were suited and booted like a wannabee Christian Grey and women in ordinary dresses.
It would be best then if the advertisement said smart wear and fetish wear then I would know not to attend.
I agree with the argument clothes don't dictate the kinkyness of the individual. However if I am going to an event I am going for atmosphere. As an example if an event was advertised as requiring formal evening wear for men and ballgowns for women and half the people have not made the effort, I would suggest that it would detract from the atmosphere of the event. "
Agreed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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TheUnit is now doing once a month parties at Lifestyle.
We've changed our name to CollaredSins which was our original name before we fixed ourselves to a building.
Massive club with lots of space and kit.
Come and join the fun.
Fetish dress minimum of smart/casual black IE black jeans/pants, shirt/jumper or t-shirt
Ladies basques skirts and sexy dress more than welcome.
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"TheUnit is now doing once a month parties at Lifestyle.
We've changed our name to CollaredSins which was our original name before we fixed ourselves to a building.
Massive club with lots of space and kit.
Come and join the fun.
Fetish dress minimum of smart/casual black IE black jeans/pants, shirt/jumper or t-shirt
Ladies basques skirts and sexy dress more than welcome.
"
Could you please tell me what night this is on as I've been telling people about you hosting events there, but it would be good if I could be more specific xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are hosting every 2nd Saturday of every month.
List of event dates on profile on here and Fet.
11th March
8th April
13th May
10th June
But we are in chats to take our events elsewhere so watch this space. X |
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The Kage Klub at Partners is now in it's 8th year ans is one of the best and busiest events on the BDSM calendar it runs the last sunday of the month from 1pm till 8pm. There is a new event starting this Sunday 12th March, 1pm till 7pm 'carefree&kinky' an event for the under 35's which will run on the second Sunday of every month. There is also an event known as 'Thank fuck it's fetish', this event is on the 3rd Friday of every month from 8pm till 3am and then on the 3rd Friday of every month. This event is a very busy event and early attendance is recommended. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"
Well I appreciate your flexibility on the matter, I wish people at this end of the country shared it."
I don't know a club in the country that doesn't. Even TG. I'm guessing you've never actually approached the organiser of an event to ask them about their dress code then.
Just because you view fetish to mean latex and pvc doesn't mean that is what it is. It this sense it means something that is erotically charged and 'does it' for the people involved.
Clubs and events have a dress code to stop people walking in wearing jeans and a shirt with nothing to change into. I tend to play next to or totally naked, having someone who looks like they have walked into the club by accident is totally off putting and makes you feel at best uncomfortable and at worst totally on edge, not the best headspace be you top or dom. it's about putting in some effort and not just looking like you're going down to your local Ritzy.
Personally I'm into steampunk, Victoriana and 50's. So my fet event clothing tends to lean that way, one of my ex's used to wear a suit (with a coloured or white shirt) another wore jean style smart trousers and a dark shirt, another a kilt and a top, none of them ever had a problem.
I've gone to clubs in smart dresses that I've worn out on nilla nights out, like I said. It's about putting some effort in.
Find an event your interested in, talk to the organiser. Believe me they are accommodating. I should know, I've spent the best part of 13 years running events. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" *trimmed for length*
Steampunk is fetish and you don't see much leather pvc or latex there! I have a friend who wears a fetish top and that's neither of them too. Maybe you're thinking too rigidly?
Since when is steampunk fetish? Could someone provide an actual definition of what does and doesn't count?"
i have often worn my steampunk stuff or hellbunny dresses. Seen guys in suits but with dark shirts. |
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We have a Wicked and Wanton night at Jaydees this Friday, its an alternative night to bring your whips and other toys. We have spanking benches, St Andrews crosses and a four poster bed which you can tie someone too. etc. |
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I went to klub verboten and my male companion wore black trousers, leather Chelsea boots (or something like them), a casual leather jacket and a sort of string t shirt.
There were guys with suits on, etc
What I think they want to avoid is people coming to the venue as they do to any old social occasion. They want an environment where the most outrageous dresser can feel free and to do that you need to enforce a base line minimum. |
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