FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Single guys at clubs
Single guys at clubs
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 both sides of the story was told btw, safe club great club | |||
But at moment on mix nights some single guys are not acting at all cool | |||
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"I hate it when a few disrespectful guys ruin for the decent guys. This is why I hate going to a club by myself and usually go with a lady or if I know friends are going" Single guys who make an effort to chat mix and mingle in clubs are always a good addition but you do get some who just hover about on corners lerking and staring then complain they never have any success , but we love single guys at clubs it's what we go for but sadly there is a lack of good ones | |||
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"I hate it when a few disrespectful guys ruin for the decent guys. This is why I hate going to a club by myself and usually go with a lady or if I know friends are going Single guys who make an effort to chat mix and mingle in clubs are always a good addition but you do get some who just hover about on corners lerking and staring then complain they never have any success , but we love single guys at clubs it's what we go for but sadly there is a lack of good ones " I must introduce myself if I see you in a club then   | |||
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"... i said simply 'good evening' to them both, not just to her and his reply was 'dont waste you time and ours we dont do men'..." Been in a similar situation myself on a Friday (singles & couples) night only to find that on the following night (a couples only night) when I went with a lady friend, the same couple wanted to be our new best friends. Needless to say that what goes round did indeed go round. | |||
"I hate it when a few disrespectful guys ruin for the decent guys. This is why I hate going to a club by myself and usually go with a lady or if I know friends are going" They don't ruin it for the decent ones.. if fact you could almost say the opposite because it makes the good ones stand out more I have seen much more bad behaviour in clubs from couples than I have from singles and they think they can get away with it because they are in a couple | |||
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"Yes.. have had it on occassion but not as often as a woman will try to barge her way in.. Had a woman actually try to shove me off Mr on more than one occasion. Or help themselves to me without even asking. So yes guys on occassion do it but still find women to be the most handsey." Totally agree a horney female has no conscience. No respect or manners x | |||
What the answer is I don't know, and yes I've seen women behave badly too (although never when they're alone). | |||
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"I hate it when a few disrespectful guys ruin for the decent guys. This is why I hate going to a club by myself and usually go with a lady or if I know friends are going They don't ruin it for the decent ones.. if fact you could almost say the opposite because it makes the good ones stand out more I have seen much more bad behaviour in clubs from couples than I have from singles and they think they can get away with it because they are in a couple " In my experience, observation and talking to couples I'd say disrespectful guys do sometimes ruin it for the decent ones, but in some cases they also make the good ones stand out more. I've both observed and been involved in play with couples that has stopped or been ruined by the actions of one idiot as well as got talking to couples who say they no longer play with single guys because of the odd bad experience. Others have appreciated 'good' (although it should just be normal!) respectful behaviour and made them more receptive/responsive to playing. I think disrespectful behaviour by single guys has both effects depending on the people involved and how they react to it. | |||
"Now Before you all get excited It's mr here and I've been a fab single guy for 6 years and will jump to the defence of single guys if they are being bashed. But just recently the conduct of SOME single guys at clubs is disgraceful Forcing themselves into situations Total disrespect Not taking no for an answer Anyone else experienced this of late ?" Yes unfortunately, but once I(Mr) tell them to get lost they tend to. Even afterwards they follow you round like lost puppies but silent...really off putting. If they get to much just tell the hosts and they get chucked out. | |||
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"So in a club how do you distinguish a single guy from a guy thats there as part of a couple but not with his partner at that moment in time ? " Ask him?? Talk to him?? Its not exactly hard. | |||
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"This is why I don't go to club. No way am l being treated like a second class citizen just because I'm a single male." Why would you be treated second class citizen? If a woman was touching without asking she would be told to ask. If a woman was following us around in a towel wanking we'd ask her to stop as it's a bit weird. | |||
"This is why I don't go to club. No way am l being treated like a second class citizen just because I'm a single male. Why would you be treated second class citizen? If a woman was touching without asking she would be told to ask. If a woman was following us around in a towel wanking we'd ask her to stop as it's a bit weird. " I'm sure you would, many others would find it funny. Been fondled by women, even when I was a teen and that was "just a laugh". That's the "sisterhood" for you. I doubt she'd even be removed. | |||
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Happy new year, folks! | |||
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"I've been lightly involved in the scene in the past, but have never seen anything quite like this. I've been accused of it; of pestering, even though I was simply wandering and chatting with people, as I would in a standard 'night club'. Obviously not while they were playing or anything... I was just a wanderer, that's all, but I got labelled as a sex pest by a couple of immature, closed-minded idiots and banished, which was lovely! Well, that and the fact that I reported to the staff that I had strong suspicions that a young woman had been forced to go there against her will by her 'boyfriend', but we won't go into that, nor will we discuss the venue. Anyway, I must say that the only other negative experiences I've had, or even witnessed, at a club, have been with one much older lady, who insisted on grinding her naked crotch against my freshly dry cleaned suit trousers, despite my asking her to refrain from doing so. In fact, I asked her seven times, onlookers began scowling at the sight and I simply stood up and made her stumble as I walked away. Nobody thought to step in or lend a hand, a few continued to laugh. My point is this: Arseholes are arseholes, and should be dealt with. Regardless of gender or anything else. Personally, I have not witnessed anything overly negative from single males in clubs, but then I spent most of my time in one club; a club where I'm sure I was depicted as the 'troublesome single male', for doing the right thing (I later reported the incident to the police, as I know what abuse looks like). All I can say is report it to the staff and, if they take no notice, report the venue to the police, depending upon the nature of the infringement. Everyone who attends these events needs to feel safe, secure and taken care of; valued. This is a fucking personal thing! We're dabbling and playing with the rawest and most delicate side of human nature here, we need to show respect... and where respect is not shown, it needs to be enforced! I think everyone in the community is nervous of something; whether it's a single guy being nervous of interacting (like me), a male and female couple being nervous of letting anyone else in, or a single woman being nervous of being there in the first place. We all need to fucking respect each other and look out for each other! If you see someone looking sheepish, involve them or simply keep an eye on them when you can. If you see someone looking uncomfortable about someone else, find the nearest staff member and tell them! If this community is to survive, let alone thrive, there needs to be compassion and respect. Be the change!
Happy new year, folks! "They just laughed at her assaulting you? There are some sever double standards. | |||
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"Our last bad encounter was with a female, being pushy, not taking no for an answer and then getting stroppy. Not always the guys." It's funny you never see a thread started about single women in clubs.... | |||
"You can find s#it behaviour from all (males, females and couples) in clubs but it's only fashionable for some to only mention negatives of single guys whilst happily & hypocritically ignoring anything from anyone else. Someone's mentioned scruffy etc to. Same again you will get scruffy males, females and couples in them just as much as you get he polar opposite. I've gone with regular friend cpls to clubs & swinger hotels and seen the crap they sometimes got off cpls. Crap because the hub of the cpl I went with dared to allow his wife to wander off with me (their choice/her choice) or the fem wouldn't play with any one else than me or her hubby (her choice & pref). Also from the apartment & large house parties I've been to over the years it's the wandering help himself male half of a couple that sticks in my mind. Making single males out to be everything negative is quite a sport for some. The reasons for that are wide & varied. In my offline experience there's many diamond single males just as theirs diamond females & diamond couples. If the single males amass in the clubs and cause as much s#ite as some make out in these forums I'm surprised the same complaining people continue to attend the clubs. If i was to attend somewhere and mostly come out've it moaning & winging about others and the bad vibe & experience they seemingly always create I'd jack in going."
Or you would think these same couples that complain about single guys , would only go to a club on a couples only night . | |||
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"I've been lightly involved in the scene in the past, but have never seen anything quite like this. I've been accused of it; of pestering, even though I was simply wandering and chatting with people, as I would in a standard 'night club'. Obviously not while they were playing or anything... I was just a wanderer, that's all, but I got labelled as a sex pest by a couple of immature, closed-minded idiots and banished, which was lovely! Well, that and the fact that I reported to the staff that I had strong suspicions that a young woman had been forced to go there against her will by her 'boyfriend', but we won't go into that, nor will we discuss the venue. Anyway, I must say that the only other negative experiences I've had, or even witnessed, at a club, have been with one much older lady, who insisted on grinding her naked crotch against my freshly dry cleaned suit trousers, despite my asking her to refrain from doing so. In fact, I asked her seven times, onlookers began scowling at the sight and I simply stood up and made her stumble as I walked away. Nobody thought to step in or lend a hand, a few continued to laugh. My point is this: Arseholes are arseholes, and should be dealt with. Regardless of gender or anything else. Personally, I have not witnessed anything overly negative from single males in clubs, but then I spent most of my time in one club; a club where I'm sure I was depicted as the 'troublesome single male', for doing the right thing (I later reported the incident to the police, as I know what abuse looks like). All I can say is report it to the staff and, if they take no notice, report the venue to the police, depending upon the nature of the infringement. Everyone who attends these events needs to feel safe, secure and taken care of; valued. This is a fucking personal thing! We're dabbling and playing with the rawest and most delicate side of human nature here, we need to show respect... and where respect is not shown, it needs to be enforced! I think everyone in the community is nervous of something; whether it's a single guy being nervous of interacting (like me), a male and female couple being nervous of letting anyone else in, or a single woman being nervous of being there in the first place. We all need to fucking respect each other and look out for each other! If you see someone looking sheepish, involve them or simply keep an eye on them when you can. If you see someone looking uncomfortable about someone else, find the nearest staff member and tell them! If this community is to survive, let alone thrive, there needs to be compassion and respect. Be the change!
Happy new year, folks! "Well said!! | |||
"This is why I don't go to club. No way am l being treated like a second class citizen just because I'm a single male." Speak to people, don't walk around hoping for someone to go come over. Hot tubs, the bar and smoking areas... Its amazing how much fun you can get by saying hello. It often leads to play time or sorry you're awesome but we're not interested but always another couple around the corner that will be interested in you. | |||
"You can find s#it behaviour from all (males, females and couples) in clubs but it's only fashionable for some to only mention negatives of single guys whilst happily & hypocritically ignoring anything from anyone else. Someone's mentioned scruffy etc to. Same again you will get scruffy males, females and couples in them just as much as you get he polar opposite. I've gone with regular friend cpls to clubs & swinger hotels and seen the crap they sometimes got off cpls. Crap because the hub of the cpl I went with dared to allow his wife to wander off with me (their choice/her choice) or the fem wouldn't play with any one else than me or her hubby (her choice & pref). Also from the apartment & large house parties I've been to over the years it's the wandering help himself male half of a couple that sticks in my mind. Making single males out to be everything negative is quite a sport for some. The reasons for that are wide & varied. In my offline experience there's many diamond single males just as theirs diamond females & diamond couples. If the single males amass in the clubs and cause as much s#ite as some make out in these forums I'm surprised the same complaining people continue to attend the clubs. If i was to attend somewhere and mostly come out've it moaning & winging about others and the bad vibe & experience they seemingly always create I'd jack in going.
Or you would think these same couples that complain about single guys , would only go to a club on a couples only night ."Because of these idiots we only go on couples nights now | |||
"You can find s#it behaviour from all (males, females and couples) in clubs but it's only fashionable for some to only mention negatives of single guys whilst happily & hypocritically ignoring anything from anyone else. Someone's mentioned scruffy etc to. Same again you will get scruffy males, females and couples in them just as much as you get he polar opposite. I've gone with regular friend cpls to clubs & swinger hotels and seen the crap they sometimes got off cpls. Crap because the hub of the cpl I went with dared to allow his wife to wander off with me (their choice/her choice) or the fem wouldn't play with any one else than me or her hubby (her choice & pref). Also from the apartment & large house parties I've been to over the years it's the wandering help himself male half of a couple that sticks in my mind. Making single males out to be everything negative is quite a sport for some. The reasons for that are wide & varied. In my offline experience there's many diamond single males just as theirs diamond females & diamond couples. If the single males amass in the clubs and cause as much s#ite as some make out in these forums I'm surprised the same complaining people continue to attend the clubs. If i was to attend somewhere and mostly come out've it moaning & winging about others and the bad vibe & experience they seemingly always create I'd jack in going.
Or you would think these same couples that complain about single guys , would only go to a club on a couples only night ."Why should that have to be the solution? And if the issue is there, then you'll soon find there is no couples or single females, on a single males allowed night, because the less couples that attend, the worse the situation will become. When there ends up with one female in the club and a hundred males. As you'll see we have verified and been verified by single males, you'll also see the op also stated wasn't a single males bashing post. Nobody is going to either argue that anyone can behave wrongly in a club. But to try and hide the fact that on a singles night, the number of single males is generally always going to out numbe the number of couples and single females. And as a couple we have no pressure to play with anyone, we've got each other, but as a single male that's just it you naturally in a position that you hoping some action takes place for you to get to play...the point was that specifically last Friday, the level of respect shown, and attitude was a lot lower than been seen before, and that as a result the whole experience was not as good as it could have been...that half the guys in th club would actually have had a far better time, got more action had they not made it feel like the only way we could have played again was to have gone in a locked room and picked someone to take, which takes away the whole fun element(as it makes it feel setup) it reminded me of Black Friday behaviours - where everyone scrambled for the cheap widescreen TV only in the rush and bad behaviour said TV got so bashed about it didn't work anymore. Some patients and manners would have resulted in everyone getting their cock sucked probably! | |||
" ... I've also seen the flip side, single males who are shy (like myself) or too nervous about offending who just end up sitting around being ignored and looking like creeps. I myself once got asked to leave a club because it was my first time there, I didn't know anyone and (despite being a member of a site like this) am quite a shy person and find it terrifying to just go up and talk to someone. End result, I gave up on the club scene because although I enjoyed the atmosphere, I just felt I didn't quite fit. ... " Were you asked to leave because you weren't engaging with anyone and just sitting/wandering around watching? Did the staff know it was your first time there and that you didn't know anyone and were shy/nervous? In my _iew, a good club run by good staff will try to put you at ease and maybe even introduce you to someone. Obviously you can't expect them to go too far in that area, and you do have to make the effort yourself. I was VERY shy (slightly less so now, but still quite shy) and the first time I went to a club, I didn't really say anything to anyone, but I was very mindful of not just staring or following around in a zombie like state. I'm not saying you were doing that, btw, but it might have come across to others like you were. There's been some great advice given above, especially for nervous newbies. The main thing you really try and do, as difficult as it can feel, is to smile and say hi. I'd also strongly recommend going to a place with a wet area, so you can at least enjoy the facilities while interacting or trying to interact with people. Even now, I wouldn't go to places like Le Boudoir or OP4F without going with someone or at least knowing someone who is also going. | |||
"You can find s#it behaviour from all (males, females and couples) in clubs but it's only fashionable for some to only mention negatives of single guys whilst happily & hypocritically ignoring anything from anyone else. Someone's mentioned scruffy etc to. Same again you will get scruffy males, females and couples in them just as much as you get he polar opposite. I've gone with regular friend cpls to clubs & swinger hotels and seen the crap they sometimes got off cpls. Crap because the hub of the cpl I went with dared to allow his wife to wander off with me (their choice/her choice) or the fem wouldn't play with any one else than me or her hubby (her choice & pref). Also from the apartment & large house parties I've been to over the years it's the wandering help himself male half of a couple that sticks in my mind. Making single males out to be everything negative is quite a sport for some. The reasons for that are wide & varied. In my offline experience there's many diamond single males just as theirs diamond females & diamond couples. If the single males amass in the clubs and cause as much s#ite as some make out in these forums I'm surprised the same complaining people continue to attend the clubs. If i was to attend somewhere and mostly come out've it moaning & winging about others and the bad vibe & experience they seemingly always create I'd jack in going.
Or you would think these same couples that complain about single guys , would only go to a club on a couples only night .
Why should that have to be the solution?
And if the issue is there, then you'll soon find there is no couples or single females, on a single males allowed night, because the less couples that attend, the worse the situation will become. When there ends up with one female in the club and a hundred males. As you'll see we have verified and been verified by single males, you'll also see the op also stated wasn't a single males bashing post. Nobody is going to either argue that anyone can behave wrongly in a club. But to try and hide the fact that on a singles night, the number of single males is generally always going to out numbe the number of couples and single females. And as a couple we have no pressure to play with anyone, we've got each other, but as a single male that's just it you naturally in a position that you hoping some action takes place for you to get to play...the point was that specifically last Friday, the level of respect shown, and attitude was a lot lower than been seen before, and that as a result the whole experience was not as good as it could have been...that half the guys in th club would actually have had a far better time, got more action had they not made it feel like the only way we could have played again was to have gone in a locked room and picked someone to take, which takes away the whole fun element(as it makes it feel setup) it reminded me of Black Friday behaviours - where everyone scrambled for the cheap widescreen TV only in the rush and bad behaviour said TV got so bashed about it didn't work anymore. Some patients and manners would have resulted in everyone getting their cock sucked probably! " | |||
"You can find s#it behaviour from all (males, females and couples) in clubs but it's only fashionable for some to only mention negatives of single guys whilst happily & hypocritically ignoring anything from anyone else. Someone's mentioned scruffy etc to. Same again you will get scruffy males, females and couples in them just as much as you get he polar opposite. I've gone with regular friend cpls to clubs & swinger hotels and seen the crap they sometimes got off cpls. Crap because the hub of the cpl I went with dared to allow his wife to wander off with me (their choice/her choice) or the fem wouldn't play with any one else than me or her hubby (her choice & pref). Also from the apartment & large house parties I've been to over the years it's the wandering help himself male half of a couple that sticks in my mind. Making single males out to be everything negative is quite a sport for some. The reasons for that are wide & varied. In my offline experience there's many diamond single males just as theirs diamond females & diamond couples. If the single males amass in the clubs and cause as much s#ite as some make out in these forums I'm surprised the same complaining people continue to attend the clubs. If i was to attend somewhere and mostly come out've it moaning & winging about others and the bad vibe & experience they seemingly always create I'd jack in going.
Or you would think these same couples that complain about single guys , would only go to a club on a couples only night .
Why should that have to be the solution?
And if the issue is there, then you'll soon find there is no couples or single females, on a single males allowed night, because the less couples that attend, the worse the situation will become. When there ends up with one female in the club and a hundred males. As you'll see we have verified and been verified by single males, you'll also see the op also stated wasn't a single males bashing post. Nobody is going to either argue that anyone can behave wrongly in a club. But to try and hide the fact that on a singles night, the number of single males is generally always going to out numbe the number of couples and single females. And as a couple we have no pressure to play with anyone, we've got each other, but as a single male that's just it you naturally in a position that you hoping some action takes place for you to get to play...the point was that specifically last Friday, the level of respect shown, and attitude was a lot lower than been seen before, and that as a result the whole experience was not as good as it could have been...that half the guys in th club would actually have had a far better time, got more action had they not made it feel like the only way we could have played again was to have gone in a locked room and picked someone to take, which takes away the whole fun element(as it makes it feel setup) it reminded me of Black Friday behaviours - where everyone scrambled for the cheap widescreen TV only in the rush and bad behaviour said TV got so bashed about it didn't work anymore. Some patients and manners would have resulted in everyone getting their cock sucked probably!
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