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HDZ moving to Thursdays?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I had a the usual HDZ newsletter in my email over the weekend and apparently they're moving to Thursday as of January, not to mention tightening the dress code required for entry. Anyone know what's brought this on? It's pretty much guaranteed I'll never be going to HDZ again. |
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Why the move?
Because they need to get events in on Thursday nights and Friday night are popular with the non kinksters so they will turn up and fill the kinkster spaces vacated.
Of course unless there was something particularly kink attractive about Thursdays ie specialist kit or markedly cheaper  I cannot see whats to stop a group of like minded individuals co-ordinating turning up on a given Friday and residing in the dungeon for the night as usual
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I can appreciate them wanting to get some business on Thursdays, it's a shame the ladies-only night came to an end. I'll just miss the kinky crowd on that second Friday - Thursday is tough for me to get to a club due to work, and the tighter dress code is a problem - I'll never wear fetish gear and I don't even like all black clothes. For me, kink is a state of mind, not a state of dress. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The reason for them moving it to Thursday is to make it a bdsm/Fetish only event. So more inline with normal bdsm clubs and prices. Dress code is the same as most Fetish/bdsm clubs so Fetish wear or black dress only, same as Playspace. Strict house rules so no wrong attire or people not respecting scenes.
Aimed for the fetsters and people who enjoy the demos |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
Last time I was that way was on a Thursday and we fancied a club and that would have been perfect. I have to make a special trip to get to Abfabs anyway so changing the day doesn't affect me. And from a financial perspective I can understand their reasoning. Selfish but I don't mind the change. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I cannot see whats to stop a group of like minded individuals co-ordinating turning up on a given Friday and residing in the dungeon for the night as usual
"
Exactly the dungeon is always open for kinksters to use anytime. The new hdz is just the dungeon for the evenings fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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HDZ is supposed to be for the BDSM gang to enjoy, not for the abfab swingers to watch I thought? The fet scene enjoy the dressing up, the harder games that some Abfabs guests look aghast at, it's all part of it. This way the HDZ partygoers can go and enjoy uninhibitedly and the abfabs still runs every Friday. Don't think it's necessarily financial as I understood the Thursdays were let out to third parties using the venue. It might attract more of the crowd that go to the other venues instead of here. Btw I'm no expert and affects me neither way Kate |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If the vanillas have been putting off the kinky folk then fine, I can see why they'd want a night to themselves - and it would explain why there was very little kink at the last two HDZs I went to. What's really rubbing me the wrong way is the enforced dress code - either you conform to a prescribed notion of what a kinky person wants to dress like, or your not welcome. For a scene that supposedly proclaims acceptance of difference, that's rather hypocritical. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
i would say I have mixed thoughts
1) I didn't mind the kink when I went on a Friday and I had a good time. I would say it might put some couples and single females off
2) The enforced dress code is a bit of a misunderstanding. Some of the kinkiest people I know wouldn't dress in all black
3) Thursday night fun could cause problems for some people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If the vanillas have been putting off the kinky folk then fine, I can see why they'd want a night to themselves - and it would explain why there was very little kink at the last two HDZs I went to. What's really rubbing me the wrong way is the enforced dress code - either you conform to a prescribed notion of what a kinky person wants to dress like, or your not welcome. For a scene that supposedly proclaims acceptance of difference, that's rather hypocritical."
There are many different views on what makes kink kink.. but as a general rule a fetish night would normally require fetish dress or at the very least all black. If you went to subversion and turned up in Jean and a shirt you wouldn't get past the door. HDZ is obviously being directed down a Fet/kink path. We have been to many HDZ Fridays and they have been a very hit and miss affair and its has to be said that people in jeans & shirts doesn't add to the atmosphere. Also the Friday events were open to all and we have cleared parts of the stables because we sometimes play hard and it's not nice for us when some people point and laugh or even worst start going on about abuse etc. We welcome a more targeted HDZ night and look forward to attending. |
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"If the vanillas have been putting off the kinky folk then fine, I can see why they'd want a night to themselves - and it would explain why there was very little kink at the last two HDZs I went to. What's really rubbing me the wrong way is the enforced dress code - either you conform to a prescribed notion of what a kinky person wants to dress like, or your not welcome. For a scene that supposedly proclaims acceptance of difference, that's rather hypocritical.
There are many different views on what makes kink kink.. but as a general rule a fetish night would normally require fetish dress or at the very least all black. If you went to subversion and turned up in Jean and a shirt you wouldn't get past the door. HDZ is obviously being directed down a Fet/kink path. We have been to many HDZ Fridays and they have been a very hit and miss affair and its has to be said that people in jeans & shirts doesn't add to the atmosphere. Also the Friday events were open to all and we have cleared parts of the stables because we sometimes play hard and it's not nice for us when some people point and laugh or even worst start going on about abuse etc. We welcome a more targeted HDZ night and look forward to attending."
Well said xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have always hated fancy dress with a passion and if you said to me 2 years ago I would be dressing up I would not have believed you.
I think the clothes issue is a red herring. Yes you do not need clothes to do kink. When I have private sessions at Kestrels I am naked (not always sensible when Whipping!).
But this is an event, as an example you can go to a ball in jeans and have fun but everyone in evening wear makes it special. I love the subversions and will be at Antichrist tomorrow as Baron Samedi. The only thing black will be my top hat. Kink includes goth, steam punk, victoriana, military, at one event a guy turned up in security guards outfit another as show jumper white breeches and red tunic. Any colour is allowed. Dress, as in play, you are only limited by your imagination. |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"The reason for them moving it to Thursday is to make it a bdsm/Fetish only event. So more inline with normal bdsm clubs and prices. Dress code is the same as most Fetish/bdsm clubs so Fetish wear or black dress only, same as Playspace. Strict house rules so no wrong attire or people not respecting scenes.
Aimed for the fetsters and people who enjoy the demos "
Yes, and those who really are into this kink could do a lot worse than not attend on the 19th of Jan
I will and I, these days, at best, only have a mild interest. However, the idea is that people not interested in such don't interrupt a session with their hooting laughter, which does happen on Friday HDZ events |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...
When I have private sessions at Kestrels I am naked (not always sensible when Whipping!).
...
Whiplash insurance claims are on the increase  "
Lol not so bad when you are playing with someone as you go soft but I have had whelts from practising at home.
My favourite moronic moment from one trip to HDZ was whilst I was doing a scene, overhearing some bloke saying "if it was me there she would be screaming in pain ". Twat! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...
When I have private sessions at Kestrels I am naked (not always sensible when Whipping!).
...
Whiplash insurance claims are on the increase
Lol not so bad when you are playing with someone as you go soft but I have had whelts from practising at home.
My favourite moronic moment from one trip to HDZ was whilst I was doing a scene, overhearing some bloke saying "if it was me there she would be screaming in pain ". Twat! "
I always offer to let them take dla place.. they never take up the offer for some reason lol |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"...
When I have private sessions at Kestrels I am naked (not always sensible when Whipping!).
...
Whiplash insurance claims are on the increase
Lol not so bad when you are playing with someone as you go soft but I have had whelts from practising at home.
My favourite moronic moment from one trip to HDZ was whilst I was doing a scene, overhearing some bloke saying "if it was me there she would be screaming in pain ". Twat! "
I have heard those comments too
A state of mind with someone you learn to respect vs a loud-mouth 'alpha-male' desperate for anyone or anything
Oh well, it takes all sorts; hopefully, 'all-sorts' wont be there on the Thursdays
xx |
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"it's not nice for us when some people point and laugh or even worst start going on about abuse etc. We welcome a more targeted HDZ night and look forward to attending."
For me it is this, along with people standing around chatting about what they had for dinner etc which really disrupts my headspace.
I really look forward to the change and will make much more of an effort to attend now |
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"it's not nice for us when some people point and laugh or even worst start going on about abuse etc. We welcome a more targeted HDZ night and look forward to attending.
For me it is this, along with people standing around chatting about what they had for dinner etc which really disrupts my headspace.
I really look forward to the change and will make much more of an effort to attend now "
Yes this is the whole idea and I can't wait for it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oops did not see the response before I wanted to change my post.
"Will Abfabs create a group for this event and post the event in the event section on the site that can't be named?
It is too good to keep to ourselves! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i would say I have mixed thoughts
2) The enforced dress code is a bit of a misunderstanding. Some of the kinkiest people I know wouldn't dress in all black
3) Thursday night fun could cause problems for some people "
The all black dress code is aimed at not Fetish wear or people dressing up. I know Doms who wear suits so that wouldn't be an issue. But jeans or a Tshirt are not acceptable. |
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By *otForSoftiesWoman
over a year ago
The North / Party Hard Everywhere |
"i would say I have mixed thoughts
2) The enforced dress code is a bit of a misunderstanding. Some of the kinkiest people I know wouldn't dress in all black
3) Thursday night fun could cause problems for some people
The all black dress code is aimed at not Fetish wear or people dressing up. I know Doms who wear suits so that wouldn't be an issue. But jeans or a Tshirt are not acceptable. "
The mixed night wasn't working so they want a proper fet night for fet people and those interested in it. Jeans, tshirts, tracksuit bottoms, wanky guys, loud people interrupting scenes isn't conducive to a good night. So while some may not like a dress code, fetish wear or all black is the standard at fetish events.
As for the night, you can't please all the people all the time. HDZ originally started on a Sunday night way back when and I remember attending the first night. Let's all give it our best shot in the New Year. I'll certainly be there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also will HDZ make it clear in the dress code that nudity is not fetish wear. They failed to point this out on Subversion Noir's dress code on the first night. They changed dress code to exclude nudity thereafter.
As a matter of curiosity, does a g string and or suspenders and garter belt on a woman (different for a man) count as fetish wear or lack of imagination? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Also will HDZ make it clear in the dress code that nudity is not fetish wear. They failed to point this out on Subversion Noir's dress code on the first night. They changed dress code to exclude nudity thereafter.
As a matter of curiosity, does a g string and or suspenders and garter belt on a woman (different for a man) count as fetish wear or lack of imagination? "
I would disagree on the nudity front. For some people that is a fetish. I've known many people who see being naked as part of there submission and or power exchange and I don't think it's right that they should be excluded. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Also will HDZ make it clear in the dress code that nudity is not fetish wear. They failed to point this out on Subversion Noir's dress code on the first night. They changed dress code to exclude nudity thereafter.
As a matter of curiosity, does a g string and or suspenders and garter belt on a woman (different for a man) count as fetish wear or lack of imagination?
I would disagree on the nudity front. For some people that is a fetish. I've known many people who see being naked as part of there submission and or power exchange and I don't think it's right that they should be excluded. "
In addition there is a very popular annual fetish event where subs have to be naked. And a very good event it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thanks for the comment. Personally I don't see the naked body in itself as matter of fetishism. I am in the naturist camp in regard to the naked body.
CMNF/CFNM has a different dynamic, the nudity there is to reinforce the submission. Therefore I wholeheartedly agree with you that where the nudity is used in a fetish dynamic it is acceptable, desirable and powerful. However sex tourists using nudity as a get out clause to avoid wearing fetish gear could kill the event. Certainly on the first night at subversion noir 90% of the naked people were single male sex tourists forming as a pack around any hetero sexual activity. Surely there is no issue initially arriving in fetish wear and then disrobing as the relationship dynamic requires. My understanding (which could be wrong) is at high etiquette formal CMFN/CFNM you initially meet in formal clothes, socialise then the submissives go and get undressed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the comment. Personally I don't see the naked body in itself as matter of fetishism. I am in the naturist camp in regard to the naked body.
CMNF/CFNM has a different dynamic, the nudity there is to reinforce the submission. Therefore I wholeheartedly agree with you that where the nudity is used in a fetish dynamic it is acceptable, desirable and powerful. However sex tourists using nudity as a get out clause to avoid wearing fetish gear could kill the event. Certainly on the first night at subversion noir 90% of the naked people were single male sex tourists forming as a pack around any hetero sexual activity. Surely there is no issue initially arriving in fetish wear and then disrobing as the relationship dynamic requires. My understanding (which could be wrong) is at high etiquette formal CMFN/CFNM you initially meet in formal clothes, socialise then the submissives go and get undressed. "
I understand your concerns but I think it's wrong to make judgements on what is or isn't fetish. Its very easy to alienate and personally I feel that should be avoided at all costs. You are never going to avoid the sex tourist issue, it will happen no matter what you do. If you try and stop by banning nudity then they will be running out to buy a pair of black trousers and a black shirt, marks & sparks will no doubt be happy. As for CMnf you are in correct the sub females are required to be naked as soon as they arrive. stockings and very low denier wraps are allowed, thought I'd point that out before getting shot down lol. Also surely it can't be a good thing to discourge newbies who are interested in the scene no matter if they are men, women or couples. I would suggest that the atmosphere and enforcement of general fetish club rules woukd keep most of the pests at bay. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I did not explain myself well, I have no problem with nudity,I have a problem with nudity alone counting as a fetish costume. I have been to a party where everyone was dressed up and there was the one fat happy naked man. He was entirely respectful and it worked. I agree you will never get rid of the sex tourists and in sex orientated kink a few are required. But given Abfabs is a club where people take clothes off anyway and wander around, my view from experience of other clubs is that nudity alone does not count as fetish wear. Personally I see nudity as natural and not inherently kinky unless put in a specific kink context or dynamic. But that is my view and my suggestion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I did not explain myself well, I have no problem with nudity,I have a problem with nudity alone counting as a fetish costume. I have been to a party where everyone was dressed up and there was the one fat happy naked man. He was entirely respectful and it worked. I agree you will never get rid of the sex tourists and in sex orientated kink a few are required. But given Abfabs is a club where people take clothes off anyway and wander around, my view from experience of other clubs is that nudity alone does not count as fetish wear. Personally I see nudity as natural and not inherently kinky unless put in a specific kink context or dynamic. But that is my view and my suggestion. "
And you are welcome to it. Maybe it's worth looking at it from the perspective of the thought behind the nudity rather than the fact the person is naked. I don't see the fact that Abfabs/kesterels is naturist has any baring on what happens or doesn't happen at a Fet night. As I have previously said, basic fet rules that are applied will be enough to put most pests off. |
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Guys and girls, those who are into kink pretty much all agree the Fridays haven't been working for some time for a range of reasons - non fet people, no fetish dress code, not even a decent dress code with tracksuit bottoms allowed etc, people being loud and interrupting scenes, some scenes being too hardcore for non fetishists and wanky guys.
Rather than complaining, maybe just give the new night a go and see how it goes? You can still do stuff down the dungeon any other time if you don't agree or don't like the new style HDZ  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys and girls, those who are into kink pretty much all agree the Fridays haven't been working for some time for a range of reasons - non fet people, no fetish dress code, not even a decent dress code with tracksuit bottoms allowed etc, people being loud and interrupting scenes, some scenes being too hardcore for non fetishists and wanky guys.
Rather than complaining, maybe just give the new night a go and see how it goes? You can still do stuff down the dungeon any other time if you don't agree or don't like the new style HDZ "
We are complaining at all. We welcome the new direction x |
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"Guys and girls, those who are into kink pretty much all agree the Fridays haven't been working for some time for a range of reasons - non fet people, no fetish dress code, not even a decent dress code with tracksuit bottoms allowed etc, people being loud and interrupting scenes, some scenes being too hardcore for non fetishists and wanky guys.
Rather than complaining, maybe just give the new night a go and see how it goes? You can still do stuff down the dungeon any other time if you don't agree or don't like the new style HDZ
We are complaining at all. We welcome the new direction x"
I know you weren't |
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