FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Abfabs last night (sat 3RD)
Abfabs last night (sat 3RD)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We had a lot of fun last night but it was a strange one. Quieter than I would have expected and lots of people thrown out.
D*unk louts in a hot tup where one girl was so d*unk she threw up in the pool (rapid emptying occurred), lots of guys on their own in the dark room and some agro between a couple of couples.
Have honestly never know it like that before, was some entertainment added on to our fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi guys, we were there too and yes it was a very strange night.
We love AbFabs but some of the clientele last night were fucking idiots. I ended up shouting at a guy who was the most incredibly rude person I've ever seen on a couples night. I can't stand people who think they can touch without asking.
There was more than one person who got absolutely paralytic! Lots of people seemed to arrive about 1:30 too.
Still had a good night though and staff were doing their best to manage the situation and threw some people out  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had a lot of fun last night but it was a strange one. Quieter than I would have expected and lots of people thrown out.
D*unk louts in a hot tup where one girl was so d*unk she threw up in the pool (rapid emptying occurred), lots of guys on their own in the dark room and some agro between a couple of couples.
Have honestly never know it like that before, was some entertainment added on to our fun "
... I was thinking of going to Kestrels today, but the thought that a d*unkard vomiting in the pool last night ... Is very off putting 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had a lot of fun last night but it was a strange one. Quieter than I would have expected and lots of people thrown out.
D*unk louts in a hot tup where one girl was so d*unk she threw up in the pool (rapid emptying occurred), lots of guys on their own in the dark room and some agro between a couple of couples.
Have honestly never know it like that before, was some entertainment added on to our fun
... I was thinking of going to Kestrels today, but the thought that a d*unkard vomiting in the pool last night ... Is very off putting
"
They closed the pool and started cleaning it straight away! Best phone to check the pool is open now but I would have thought it was fine now. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah we were chatting to Brian who said he would be stuck there cleaning the pool til about 7am, poor guy.
Unless you're in the dark room (I mean who can tell who they are touching in there) you can't just jump in.
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"We had a lot of fun last night but it was a strange one. Quieter than I would have expected and lots of people thrown out.
D*unk louts in a hot tup where one girl was so d*unk she threw up in the pool (rapid emptying occurred), lots of guys on their own in the dark room and some agro between a couple of couples.
Sounds an entertaining night , I hope you managed to have some fun I between the. Shenanigans x
Have honestly never know it like that before, was some entertainment added on to our fun "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah we were chatting to Brian who said he would be stuck there cleaning the pool til about 7am, poor guy.
Unless you're in the dark room (I mean who can tell who they are touching in there) you can't just jump in.
"
I wasn't even just that but that was the incident that made me lose my cool with him.
It's staggering how bad some people's social skills are. For anyone reading who frequently finds themselves on the wrong side of a 'misunderstanding', walking up to an Asian woman who is busy having sex with her husband and demanding to know "are you Chinese or Japanese?" is very unlikely to have a good outcome. |
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"We had a lot of fun last night but it was a strange one. Quieter than I would have expected and lots of people thrown out.
D*unk louts in a hot tup where one girl was so d*unk she threw up in the pool (rapid emptying occurred), lots of guys on their own in the dark room and some agro between a couple of couples.
Have honestly never know it like that before, was some entertainment added on to our fun "
And that was your first night there?
We're not normally that bad, I promise. lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah we were chatting to Brian who said he would be stuck there cleaning the pool til about 7am, poor guy.
Unless you're in the dark room (I mean who can tell who they are touching in there) you can't just jump in.
I wasn't even just that but that was the incident that made me lose my cool with him.
It's staggering how bad some people's social skills are. For anyone reading who frequently finds themselves on the wrong side of a 'misunderstanding', walking up to an Asian woman who is busy having sex with her husband and demanding to know "are you Chinese or Japanese?" is very unlikely to have a good outcome. "
Lol, not the best move. Thinking I may have spotted you guys there actually |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I thought single guys were not allowed in on a Saturday evening..."
They aren't. The guy I'm talking about was with his wife. They were like tle dee and tle dumb. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I thought single guys were not allowed in on a Saturday evening...
They aren't. The guy I'm talking about was with his wife. They were like tle dee and tle dumb. "
You get guys who pay and then leave the lady, basically they aren't a couple and the woman gets in free. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I thought single guys were not allowed in on a Saturday evening...
They aren't. The guy I'm talking about was with his wife. They were like tle dee and tle dumb. "
...at least this thread wont turn into a single guy bashing thread now  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I thought single guys were not allowed in on a Saturday evening...
They aren't. The guy I'm talking about was with his wife. They were like tle dee and tle dumb.
You get guys who pay and then leave the lady, basically they aren't a couple and the woman gets in free. "
But to be fair, staff will deal with that if you report it and in this case they were going around being stupid together. That's why I was so gobsmacked to see two people as stupid as each other, but then that's probably why they are together. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I thought single guys were not allowed in on a Saturday evening...
They aren't. The guy I'm talking about was with his wife. They were like tle dee and tle dumb.
You get guys who pay and then leave the lady, basically they aren't a couple and the woman gets in free.
But to be fair, staff will deal with that if you report it and in this case they were going around being stupid together. That's why I was so gobsmacked to see two people as stupid as each other, but then that's probably why they are together. "
Yeah absolutely. Was a total sausage fest in the dark room. In the end a member of staff was watching the room, said he had some grief off people.
Staff were great though, can't fault them, it's the idiots that came who were the problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I thought single guys were not allowed in on a Saturday evening...
They aren't. The guy I'm talking about was with his wife. They were like tle dee and tle dumb.
You get guys who pay and then leave the lady, basically they aren't a couple and the woman gets in free.
But to be fair, staff will deal with that if you report it and in this case they were going around being stupid together. That's why I was so gobsmacked to see two people as stupid as each other, but then that's probably why they are together.
Yeah absolutely. Was a total sausage fest in the dark room. In the end a member of staff was watching the room, said he had some grief off people.
Staff were great though, can't fault them, it's the idiots that came who were the problem. "
Really! Ah well never go in there but yes I can imagine a lot of wives 'wait outside' |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I thought single guys were not allowed in on a Saturday evening...
They aren't. The guy I'm talking about was with his wife. They were like tle dee and tle dumb.
You get guys who pay and then leave the lady, basically they aren't a couple and the woman gets in free.
But to be fair, staff will deal with that if you report it and in this case they were going around being stupid together. That's why I was so gobsmacked to see two people as stupid as each other, but then that's probably why they are together.
Yeah absolutely. Was a total sausage fest in the dark room. In the end a member of staff was watching the room, said he had some grief off people.
Staff were great though, can't fault them, it's the idiots that came who were the problem.
Really! Ah well never go in there but yes I can imagine a lot of wives 'wait outside' "
Oh yeah, seems that way. Spiders web a personal favourite, did enjoy Leeann attaching me to that |
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Hi x we really enjoyed last night at Abfabs especially in the cinema x but your right it was a strange night and some people were getting very d*unk so we left about 12:30. Lots of 'couple's' last night didn't look much like couples more like complete strangers who had just meet then visited together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is part of the reason we stopped attending abfabs. For many years the club set the standard in the southeast but in the past 18 months or so it has gone through the floor. It's a shame but very true. We voted with our feet and moved on to pastures new. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We were there last night and can honestly say we have never seen it like that at all! Very strange behaviour from some and one guy in particular felt it was perfectly acceptable to touch without asking. We have always had a good experience previously so hoping its just a one off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is part of the reason we stopped attending abfabs. For many years the club set the standard in the southeast but in the past 18 months or so it has gone through the floor. It's a shame but very true. We voted with our feet and moved on to pastures new."
But what would you have them do? If you report something then the staff will act. Other than that their options are to better vet people or try and patrol the action more? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah we were chatting to Brian who said he would be stuck there cleaning the pool til about 7am, poor guy.
Unless you're in the dark room (I mean who can tell who they are touching in there) you can't just jump in.
I wasn't even just that but that was the incident that made me lose my cool with him.
It's staggering how bad some people's social skills are. For anyone reading who frequently finds themselves on the wrong side of a 'misunderstanding', walking up to an Asian woman who is busy having sex with her husband and demanding to know "are you Chinese or Japanese?" is very unlikely to have a good outcome. "
Sounds awful. I hope other clubs aren't like this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is part of the reason we stopped attending abfabs. For many years the club set the standard in the southeast but in the past 18 months or so it has gone through the floor. It's a shame but very true. We voted with our feet and moved on to pastures new.
But what would you have them do? If you report something then the staff will act. Other than that their options are to better vet people or try and patrol the action more? "
All I can tell you is that I/we have been attending the club since it first opened and in the past 18 months it has gone down hill. There have been many cases of over the top drinking, drink being stolen, guys being in the dark room when they shouldn't be, non members being allowed in if they pay enough money. The owner of the club has rules in place, they are quite clear and easy to follow. Maybe they should follow them and do something about those who choose to break them. It has to be said that this situation is not specific to abfab but because of its size maybe it just shows more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We were there last night and can honestly say we have never seen it like that at all! Very strange behaviour from some and one guy in particular felt it was perfectly acceptable to touch without asking. We have always had a good experience previously so hoping its just a one off "
That guy was just plain dumb. It's the one I've been talking about earlier. I shouted at him for touching without asking and then straight away he asked permission! Idiot. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah we were chatting to Brian who said he would be stuck there cleaning the pool til about 7am, poor guy.
Unless you're in the dark room (I mean who can tell who they are touching in there) you can't just jump in.
I wasn't even just that but that was the incident that made me lose my cool with him.
It's staggering how bad some people's social skills are. For anyone reading who frequently finds themselves on the wrong side of a 'misunderstanding', walking up to an Asian woman who is busy having sex with her husband and demanding to know "are you Chinese or Japanese?" is very unlikely to have a good outcome.
Sounds awful. I hope other clubs aren't like this. "
It's not typical of AbFabs even. It's just the clientele last night (some of) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is part of the reason we stopped attending abfabs. For many years the club set the standard in the southeast but in the past 18 months or so it has gone through the floor. It's a shame but very true. We voted with our feet and moved on to pastures new.
But what would you have them do? If you report something then the staff will act. Other than that their options are to better vet people or try and patrol the action more?
All I can tell you is that I/we have been attending the club since it first opened and in the past 18 months it has gone down hill. There have been many cases of over the top drinking, drink being stolen, guys being in the dark room when they shouldn't be, non members being allowed in if they pay enough money. The owner of the club has rules in place, they are quite clear and easy to follow. Maybe they should follow them and do something about those who choose to break them. It has to be said that this situation is not specific to abfab but because of its size maybe it just shows more."
But they will do something about them, if they know. It's a big club with a slightly odd floor plan and they can't be everywhere at once. You could argue they need more staff but that would push the price up and it's not cheap to start with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is part of the reason we stopped attending abfabs. For many years the club set the standard in the southeast but in the past 18 months or so it has gone through the floor. It's a shame but very true. We voted with our feet and moved on to pastures new.
But what would you have them do? If you report something then the staff will act. Other than that their options are to better vet people or try and patrol the action more?
All I can tell you is that I/we have been attending the club since it first opened and in the past 18 months it has gone down hill. There have been many cases of over the top drinking, drink being stolen, guys being in the dark room when they shouldn't be, non members being allowed in if they pay enough money. The owner of the club has rules in place, they are quite clear and easy to follow. Maybe they should follow them and do something about those who choose to break them. It has to be said that this situation is not specific to abfab but because of its size maybe it just shows more.
But they will do something about them, if they know. It's a big club with a slightly odd floor plan and they can't be everywhere at once. You could argue they need more staff but that would push the price up and it's not cheap to start with. "
You are right it's not cheap but that's not the issue. The problems that exist now didn't a couple of years ago. There has been many requests for a bar person to be introduced but that has been turned down. Surely having a bar person would solve two problems in one hit. First it would stop drinks being stolen. Second those who are getting d*unk would be spotted and stopped before there is an issue. Its pretty simple stuff really. |
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"mercury retrograde started on the 30th ends on the 21 sept...and a solar eclipse yesterday...brings out the strange in people xx"
But you can handle a chainsaw...so anyone who is on the wrong side of you cosmically should be very careful indeed.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is part of the reason we stopped attending abfabs. For many years the club set the standard in the southeast but in the past 18 months or so it has gone through the floor. It's a shame but very true. We voted with our feet and moved on to pastures new.
But what would you have them do? If you report something then the staff will act. Other than that their options are to better vet people or try and patrol the action more?
All I can tell you is that I/we have been attending the club since it first opened and in the past 18 months it has gone down hill. There have been many cases of over the top drinking, drink being stolen, guys being in the dark room when they shouldn't be, non members being allowed in if they pay enough money. The owner of the club has rules in place, they are quite clear and easy to follow. Maybe they should follow them and do something about those who choose to break them. It has to be said that this situation is not specific to abfab but because of its size maybe it just shows more.
But they will do something about them, if they know. It's a big club with a slightly odd floor plan and they can't be everywhere at once. You could argue they need more staff but that would push the price up and it's not cheap to start with.
You are right it's not cheap but that's not the issue. The problems that exist now didn't a couple of years ago. There has been many requests for a bar person to be introduced but that has been turned down. Surely having a bar person would solve two problems in one hit. First it would stop drinks being stolen. Second those who are getting d*unk would be spotted and stopped before there is an issue. Its pretty simple stuff really."
Yeah I could see that being worth it. Not sure if that contradicts any alcohol licensing but the principle is good. I do understand the problem you acknowledge. I haven't been to chameleons in a while but my memories at that the members themselves upheld higher standards (e.g. if a man touched without asking then multiple people would correct the behaviour). That's what I did last night, it is a bit of a mood killer though to have to get aggressive with someone. |
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"mercury retrograde started on the 30th ends on the 21 sept...and a solar eclipse yesterday...brings out the strange in people xx"
Ok starting a side thread:
But that does explaines why my life's turned to shite over the last 5 days |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is part of the reason we stopped attending abfabs. For many years the club set the standard in the southeast but in the past 18 months or so it has gone through the floor. It's a shame but very true. We voted with our feet and moved on to pastures new.
But what would you have them do? If you report something then the staff will act. Other than that their options are to better vet people or try and patrol the action more?
All I can tell you is that I/we have been attending the club since it first opened and in the past 18 months it has gone down hill. There have been many cases of over the top drinking, drink being stolen, guys being in the dark room when they shouldn't be, non members being allowed in if they pay enough money. The owner of the club has rules in place, they are quite clear and easy to follow. Maybe they should follow them and do something about those who choose to break them. It has to be said that this situation is not specific to abfab but because of its size maybe it just shows more.
But they will do something about them, if they know. It's a big club with a slightly odd floor plan and they can't be everywhere at once. You could argue they need more staff but that would push the price up and it's not cheap to start with.
You are right it's not cheap but that's not the issue. The problems that exist now didn't a couple of years ago. There has been many requests for a bar person to be introduced but that has been turned down. Surely having a bar person would solve two problems in one hit. First it would stop drinks being stolen. Second those who are getting d*unk would be spotted and stopped before there is an issue. Its pretty simple stuff really.
Yeah I could see that being worth it. Not sure if that contradicts any alcohol licensing but the principle is good. I do understand the problem you acknowledge. I haven't been to chameleons in a while but my memories at that the members themselves upheld higher standards (e.g. if a man touched without asking then multiple people would correct the behaviour). That's what I did last night, it is a bit of a mood killer though to have to get aggressive with someone. "
Many clubs and events run a byob bar with a bar person. licensing has to do with the sale of not the serving. It works in other places so it would work here. Other places that have a similar system to abfabs have similar problems with people getting very d*unk and falling about all over the place and basically being a royal pain the backside, so i'd say that its the system that's wrong and should be addressed. As for anyone touching anyone without asking first is a basic NO No and everyone should understand this and respect it. Of course you are always going to get the idiot who thinks they can do what they want and generally when people are told once or twice they get the message. We had a situation in a different club a few weeks ago that was very similar to what you had. Lets just say that I don't loose my temper very easy but this guy got thrown out of the event and told never to come back! I think that the whole party/club scene has changed in the past few years, some of it for the good and some not so much and you sometimes get non scene people turning up who really don't know what they are doing or how to behave. It has to be said that this generally applies more to nights with single guys. Sorry guys but it is true. The reason for this is that many clubs now advertise there parties on non swing sites, so some of the guys who attend aren't in the scene at all and think they are a sex party not a swing one. They pays there money and think that gives them the right to get there rocks off. Of course these parties to exist but they cost a lot more than £50! lol |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
I know I've only started going to Kestrels/Abfabs very recently, but on what I've seen there so far, I'm really surprised and disappointed to hear about this.
As a single guy, I assumed Saturday nights would be the best 'behaved' because of it being for couples only, like they are (relatively speaking) at Rios. I hope that was just a bad night and not indicative of a behavioural trend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Many clubs and events run a byob bar with a bar person. licensing has to do with the sale of not the serving. It works in other places so it would work here. Other places that have a similar system to abfabs have similar problems with people getting very d*unk and falling about all over the place and basically being a royal pain the backside, so i'd say that its the system that's wrong and should be addressed. As for anyone touching anyone without asking first is a basic NO No and everyone should understand this and respect it. Of course you are always going to get the idiot who thinks they can do what they want and generally when people are told once or twice they get the message. We had a situation in a different club a few weeks ago that was very similar to what you had. Lets just say that I don't loose my temper very easy but this guy got thrown out of the event and told never to come back! I think that the whole party/club scene has changed in the past few years, some of it for the good and some not so much and you sometimes get non scene people turning up who really don't know what they are doing or how to behave. It has to be said that this generally applies more to nights with single guys. Sorry guys but it is true. The reason for this is that many clubs now advertise there parties on non swing sites, so some of the guys who attend aren't in the scene at all and think they are a sex party not a swing one. They pays there money and think that gives them the right to get there rocks off. Of course these parties to exist but they cost a lot more than £50! lol"
I think we have to accept that clubs are businesses and they will always try and attract a broader client base in order to make a profit. As things expand then you will lose some of the soul of things.
I want clubs to be profitable because that ensures there will always be clubs to go to. I don't want to rely on people doing it as a hobby. Swinging is niche and I doubt it's especially easy to run one, not to mention the stress AbFabs have had with the local council.
That said, I won't tolerate that kind of behaviour. It was drummed into me when I started attending clubs ~7 years ago and should never be compromised. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Many clubs and events run a byob bar with a bar person. licensing has to do with the sale of not the serving. It works in other places so it would work here. Other places that have a similar system to abfabs have similar problems with people getting very d*unk and falling about all over the place and basically being a royal pain the backside, so i'd say that its the system that's wrong and should be addressed. As for anyone touching anyone without asking first is a basic NO No and everyone should understand this and respect it. Of course you are always going to get the idiot who thinks they can do what they want and generally when people are told once or twice they get the message. We had a situation in a different club a few weeks ago that was very similar to what you had. Lets just say that I don't loose my temper very easy but this guy got thrown out of the event and told never to come back! I think that the whole party/club scene has changed in the past few years, some of it for the good and some not so much and you sometimes get non scene people turning up who really don't know what they are doing or how to behave. It has to be said that this generally applies more to nights with single guys. Sorry guys but it is true. The reason for this is that many clubs now advertise there parties on non swing sites, so some of the guys who attend aren't in the scene at all and think they are a sex party not a swing one. They pays there money and think that gives them the right to get there rocks off. Of course these parties to exist but they cost a lot more than £50! lol
I think we have to accept that clubs are businesses and they will always try and attract a broader client base in order to make a profit. As things expand then you will lose some of the soul of things.
I want clubs to be profitable because that ensures there will always be clubs to go to. I don't want to rely on people doing it as a hobby. Swinging is niche and I doubt it's especially easy to run one, not to mention the stress AbFabs have had with the local council.
That said, I won't tolerate that kind of behaviour. It was drummed into me when I started attending clubs ~7 years ago and should never be compromised. "
You are quite right, they are a business and sometimes a broader market can benefit the business. But surely if people are coming from a non swing background they should be told that they are attending a swing party and not a sex one. In turn the people attending a swingers club should be made aware that non swing will be there. Of course its not likely to happen as many swingers wont attend an event where joe blogs and is mate are invited! It's a difficult one for any club. I have been attending clubs for pushing 17 years and have now gone back to much smaller events as they don't tend to suffer they don't generally suffer the same issues. That being said we do attend some larger events but we choose them carefully. Not all club owners are interested in the money as there main goal and that really does make a difference to the ethos behind the club. Don't get me wrong I am fully aware of what it takes to run a club as I have worked in several of them and been very close to several others and have respect for what is takes. But, when you lose the hedonistic background to money then you lose the feel and the feel is everything... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Many clubs and events run a byob bar with a bar person. licensing has to do with the sale of not the serving. It works in other places so it would work here. Other places that have a similar system to abfabs have similar problems with people getting very d*unk and falling about all over the place and basically being a royal pain the backside, so i'd say that its the system that's wrong and should be addressed. As for anyone touching anyone without asking first is a basic NO No and everyone should understand this and respect it. Of course you are always going to get the idiot who thinks they can do what they want and generally when people are told once or twice they get the message. We had a situation in a different club a few weeks ago that was very similar to what you had. Lets just say that I don't loose my temper very easy but this guy got thrown out of the event and told never to come back! I think that the whole party/club scene has changed in the past few years, some of it for the good and some not so much and you sometimes get non scene people turning up who really don't know what they are doing or how to behave. It has to be said that this generally applies more to nights with single guys. Sorry guys but it is true. The reason for this is that many clubs now advertise there parties on non swing sites, so some of the guys who attend aren't in the scene at all and think they are a sex party not a swing one. They pays there money and think that gives them the right to get there rocks off. Of course these parties to exist but they cost a lot more than £50! lol
I think we have to accept that clubs are businesses and they will always try and attract a broader client base in order to make a profit. As things expand then you will lose some of the soul of things.
I want clubs to be profitable because that ensures there will always be clubs to go to. I don't want to rely on people doing it as a hobby. Swinging is niche and I doubt it's especially easy to run one, not to mention the stress AbFabs have had with the local council.
That said, I won't tolerate that kind of behaviour. It was drummed into me when I started attending clubs ~7 years ago and should never be compromised.
You are quite right, they are a business and sometimes a broader market can benefit the business. But surely if people are coming from a non swing background they should be told that they are attending a swing party and not a sex one. In turn the people attending a swingers club should be made aware that non swing will be there. Of course its not likely to happen as many swingers wont attend an event where joe blogs and is mate are invited! It's a difficult one for any club. I have been attending clubs for pushing 17 years and have now gone back to much smaller events as they don't tend to suffer they don't generally suffer the same issues. That being said we do attend some larger events but we choose them carefully. Not all club owners are interested in the money as there main goal and that really does make a difference to the ethos behind the club. Don't get me wrong I am fully aware of what it takes to run a club as I have worked in several of them and been very close to several others and have respect for what is takes. But, when you lose the hedonistic background to money then you lose the feel and the feel is everything..."
Absolutely all those standards should be upheld. But every night we've been we see the staff doing to tour for newbies and explaining the rules so people can't say that weren't told.
I guess I'm a bit more resigned to the loss of hedonistic background because of my vanilla life experiences. I work with a lot of startup companies that get bought by large corporations. It's inevitable they will lose some of their soul in the process and a bit part of what makes them special. On the other hand, they will be able to achieve things that a small company could not. I see swinging clubs in much the same way and I hope, in future, swinging could be recognised as a 'normal' (ish) activity the way a gay club would be. Instead of something that the local council feels justified in trying to put a stop to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Should do what they do at chams,attend the club as a couple you leave as a couple, that way no single twats fukkin it up.If they have membership then it should be quashed "
True but the person I mentioned had his wife stood next to him. Trust me they were a couple, they looked a lot like brother and sister and had an IQ of 70 between the both of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Many clubs and events run a byob bar with a bar person. licensing has to do with the sale of not the serving. It works in other places so it would work here. Other places that have a similar system to abfabs have similar problems with people getting very d*unk and falling about all over the place and basically being a royal pain the backside, so i'd say that its the system that's wrong and should be addressed. As for anyone touching anyone without asking first is a basic NO No and everyone should understand this and respect it. Of course you are always going to get the idiot who thinks they can do what they want and generally when people are told once or twice they get the message. We had a situation in a different club a few weeks ago that was very similar to what you had. Lets just say that I don't loose my temper very easy but this guy got thrown out of the event and told never to come back! I think that the whole party/club scene has changed in the past few years, some of it for the good and some not so much and you sometimes get non scene people turning up who really don't know what they are doing or how to behave. It has to be said that this generally applies more to nights with single guys. Sorry guys but it is true. The reason for this is that many clubs now advertise there parties on non swing sites, so some of the guys who attend aren't in the scene at all and think they are a sex party not a swing one. They pays there money and think that gives them the right to get there rocks off. Of course these parties to exist but they cost a lot more than £50! lol
I think we have to accept that clubs are businesses and they will always try and attract a broader client base in order to make a profit. As things expand then you will lose some of the soul of things.
I want clubs to be profitable because that ensures there will always be clubs to go to. I don't want to rely on people doing it as a hobby. Swinging is niche and I doubt it's especially easy to run one, not to mention the stress AbFabs have had with the local council.
That said, I won't tolerate that kind of behaviour. It was drummed into me when I started attending clubs ~7 years ago and should never be compromised.
You are quite right, they are a business and sometimes a broader market can benefit the business. But surely if people are coming from a non swing background they should be told that they are attending a swing party and not a sex one. In turn the people attending a swingers club should be made aware that non swing will be there. Of course its not likely to happen as many swingers wont attend an event where joe blogs and is mate are invited! It's a difficult one for any club. I have been attending clubs for pushing 17 years and have now gone back to much smaller events as they don't tend to suffer they don't generally suffer the same issues. That being said we do attend some larger events but we choose them carefully. Not all club owners are interested in the money as there main goal and that really does make a difference to the ethos behind the club. Don't get me wrong I am fully aware of what it takes to run a club as I have worked in several of them and been very close to several others and have respect for what is takes. But, when you lose the hedonistic background to money then you lose the feel and the feel is everything...
Absolutely all those standards should be upheld. But every night we've been we see the staff doing to tour for newbies and explaining the rules so people can't say that weren't told.
I guess I'm a bit more resigned to the loss of hedonistic background because of my vanilla life experiences. I work with a lot of startup companies that get bought by large corporations. It's inevitable they will lose some of their soul in the process and a bit part of what makes them special. On the other hand, they will be able to achieve things that a small company could not. I see swinging clubs in much the same way and I hope, in future, swinging could be recognised as a 'normal' (ish) activity the way a gay club would be. Instead of something that the local council feels justified in trying to put a stop to. "
As much as I would love to say that there will be a time where councils etc will view a swing club the same a gay or straight club, I cant generally see it happening in a hurry. That being said there are clubs around the country that are accepted by the local community and they don't have a problem really. As far as abfabs goes the writing has been on the wall for a while and the council wants rid of them and rid of them they will get. I'm not really wanting to get into the in's and outs of what has happened as it's been done to death on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To us it used to be the best club in the country to visit until a couple of years ago we noticed it going downhill it was about the same time as the price changing"
We enjoy Kestrels during the daytime as it tends to be more relaxed. Long may it continue!! X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I do think they need more people keeping an eye on what's happening, maybe someone down the dungeon end all night as that seems to be a big area they mess around in |
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We also enjoyed the Abfabs till a few yrs ago till almost the council closure stuff then that's when we noticed a drop and more singles getting in or ticketing (singles coming as cpls then splitting up once inside)
So we don't know if the management sort of wanted more income for fighting the legal system.
We have been again a few months ago unfortunately will not go back which is a shame as it's on our front door so to speak.we do agree that our drink went missing so someone to control the bar would have been good.
It's a shame a few people spoil it for the majority. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We also enjoyed the Abfabs till a few yrs ago till almost the council closure stuff then that's when we noticed a drop and more singles getting in or ticketing (singles coming as cpls then splitting up once inside)
So we don't know if the management sort of wanted more income for fighting the legal system.
We have been again a few months ago unfortunately will not go back which is a shame as it's on our front door so to speak.we do agree that our drink went missing so someone to control the bar would have been good.
It's a shame a few people spoil it for the majority."
It's a real shame but that often happens in life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With the amount they charge surely they can afford another couple of staff members?
They all seem to hang around the kitchen most of the evening.
They must take in around 3+grand on an average weekend? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With the amount they charge surely they can afford another couple of staff members?
They all seem to hang around the kitchen most of the evening.
They must take in around 3+grand on an average weekend? "
As I have said. When money becomes the driving force you lose the feel. And you are right the staff do hang around the kitchen most of the time. Abfabs has always had a bit of a reputation for being a cash cow. Don't get me wrong it has served it's purpose over the years and had a decent level facility level. But facilities don't make a good night out. Atmosphere does and people breed atmosphere. I personally blame the owner, a good club comes from the top. A very good and sadly departed friend of mine once told me that he ran his club like it was part of his home. It worked. He also had respect from the people who attended. And that worked as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"£3000 plus on a weekend isn't a lot when you factor in all the expenses Part of the reason most clubs close is there not financially viable in the first place "
Abfabs has been running for around 12 years maybe a little longer. I'm pretty sure they can afford a bar person. |
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