FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Why do guys presume...
Why do guys presume...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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That because you played with them once at a club/party that the next time they are there you will want to play with them again?
Had a message today from a guy I played with for probably 15 minutes max saying that he couldn't wait to see me at the club again for round 2!!
Not sure how to reply to him or wether to reply at all?
What do you think you wise lot....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tell him the truth... That you enjoyed the time spent together.. But it doesn't guarantee it will happen again "
Yes maybe like deviant said light chat and try to disappear ... If he's forewarned it shouldn't be awkward ... Much  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I hate that. Or the ones who you have fun with at a club, but not that much fun, then they find you on here and message you ad nauseum. I have had to say to some people that we had fun but I wasn't going to pursue it further. A decent guy would take that as meant. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I hate that. Or the ones who you have fun with at a club, but not that much fun, then they find you on here and message you ad nauseum. I have had to say to some people that we had fun but I wasn't going to pursue it further. A decent guy would take that as meant."
That's what he did, he found me here and asked me to verify him which I was happy to do.
Then he sends me a message saying he'll deffo be there next month and can't wait for some more action.
I am thinking in my head ... Mate there was a reason it was over in 15 mins lol
Not that it wasn't a pleasant expirience but I go to clubs to meet different people not play with the same people over and over.
I enjoy variety
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"I hate that. Or the ones who you have fun with at a club, but not that much fun, then they find you on here and message you ad nauseum. I have had to say to some people that we had fun but I wasn't going to pursue it further. A decent guy would take that as meant.
That's what he did, he found me here and asked me to verify him which I was happy to do.
Then he sends me a message saying he'll deffo be there next month and can't wait for some more action.
I am thinking in my head ... Mate there was a reason it was over in 15 mins lol
Not that it wasn't a pleasant expirience but I go to clubs to meet different people not play with the same people over and over.
I enjoy variety
"
Just send one back saying
Erm, maybe - maybe not!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I would respond with a "yeah, maybe". Short enough to kill the conversation and not give him any hope. Not rude enough to offend him and also good enough to keep your options open to maybe play again in future x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is an interesting topic.
I don't do clubs so have not been in that scenario. But with that said I guess many blokes assume that if you are willing to play once, that would be a good sign you would be willing to play again?
I think the approach they have taken is incredibly presumptuous though. I think a less assumptive approach (across fab generally) will mean you are less shocked when people say no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would reply saying that it was ok at the time but I'm not interested in a repeat performance. Then i would finish the reply by saying "good luck, bye" to make it clear i wasn't interested in a conversation either 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would reply saying that it was ok at the time but I'm not interested in a repeat performance. Then i would finish the reply by saying "good luck, bye" to make it clear i wasn't interested in a conversation either
"
I wud do the above....just be polite and consise. Clubs are good for variety and you should do what you want not to please others. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would reply saying that it was ok at the time but I'm not interested in a repeat performance. Then i would finish the reply by saying "good luck, bye" to make it clear i wasn't interested in a conversation either
I wud do the above....just be polite and consise. Clubs are good for variety and you should do what you want not to please others. Good luck "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to say it's not just guys that will do this, I have had women who I have played with at a club come and try and drag me off when I have gone back.
I guess it's comfort for some people, in their eyes less chance of rejection with someone who has already said yes maybe.
But it's Defo not just guys lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have to say it's not just guys that will do this, I have had women who I have played with at a club come and try and drag me off when I have gone back.
I guess it's comfort for some people, in their eyes less chance of rejection with someone who has already said yes maybe.
But it's Defo not just guys lol"
Omg really??
I would never do that some people are crazy!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Happens with couples too. ..... Just barge in when your playing as you've played with them before. X "
this is so true... And single ladies... Its hard for me not to be polite but to the point x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to say it's not just guys that will do this, I have had women who I have played with at a club come and try and drag me off when I have gone back.
I guess it's comfort for some people, in their eyes less chance of rejection with someone who has already said yes maybe.
But it's Defo not just guys lol
Omg really??
I would never do that some people are crazy!! "
It's stupid how people are, but it's assumption.
The same assumption is made when messaging people as well. All guys are the same ect ect |
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Interesting thread OP, we use clubs mainly and haven't had this specific issue yet, but we did post in one forum that we were attending a GG event, and a chap there knew who we were and said how much he'd been dying to meet us since spotting us on the forum thread. Slightly disconcerting possibly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I might be the odd one but I like to build a rap our with people I have played with especially couples as it is hard to find couples that I connect with, with both parties and as we only meet in a club maybe few times a year we do keep in touch. As for single guys I hope to think that we remain friends and that there is no awkwardness sometimes we play some we don't but that doesn't mean that I would ignore some one that I have played with x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to say it's not just guys that will do this, I have had women who I have played with at a club come and try and drag me off when I have gone back.
I guess it's comfort for some people, in their eyes less chance of rejection with someone who has already said yes maybe.
But it's Defo not just guys lol"
Christ....i barely speak at clubs ... Never mind launch myself at proper  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to say it's not just guys that will do this, I have had women who I have played with at a club come and try and drag me off when I have gone back.
I guess it's comfort for some people, in their eyes less chance of rejection with someone who has already said yes maybe.
But it's Defo not just guys lol
Christ....i barely speak at clubs ... Never mind launch myself at proper "
*people even |
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"Tell him the truth... That you enjoyed the time spent together.. But it doesn't guarantee it will happen again
Yes maybe like deviant said light chat and try to disappear ... If he's forewarned it shouldn't be awkward ... Much "
No! just be honest and tell the truth don't string the guy along and avoid that's just not necessary  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tell him the truth... That you enjoyed the time spent together.. But it doesn't guarantee it will happen again
Yes maybe like deviant said light chat and try to disappear ... If he's forewarned it shouldn't be awkward ... Much "
..
If you have no intention of being intimate with him again, then it would be unfair to do anything other than tell him the truth |
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