FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > what constitutes a couple?

what constitutes a couple?

By *owerpole OP Man over a year ago

Accrington

Having recently visited a club for several weeks I met a lady whom has become my regular fb. Now when I go I either meet her at her home or her usual club. Now the manager has decided that were not a couple and if she comes to meet me outside and then we go in... I'll get changed full single man price. Is this fair?

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Most clubs state that if you go in as a couple you should play as a couple, as otherwise they may think you are using being with a female as a way to get round the single male charge. So basically, if you go in together then bugger off to each do your own thing, then you're playing as singles.

She'll be charged as a single female so just go halves on the total fee.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, because you're not a couple. I know clubs that will let 2 people get a couple's membership, but the man can never go in on his own using it, but the female can. A lot of people tend to couple up to make it cheaper for the guy, but clubs have to be aware of this, to prevent single men out numbering the couples and females.

I get asked often if I will go with a male to a club and I always say no, because I am a single and want to do my own thing there.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wow that's definitely a new 1 for me op I work in a club and as long as a cpl come in together they are treated as a cpl regardless of how they then choose to spend their evenings play. I myself have had a CLUB BUDDY who I would meet and go to clubs with even though once inside we did our own thing n yes it did save on cost but he was my lift and security blanket who kept an eye out for me and the club's I used had no issue or problem with that. I have to say if this club you use is now dictating how you play n who is and isn't a cpl it's very poor form and time to find a more open minded tolerant club

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

If you are going to play regularly as a couple in the club, you should be entitled to a couples membership. We would give you a membership and give the card to your lady friend as she can use this to get in on her own; you could not. You would need a single guy membership to come in alone.

Like others have said, there have been instances where FB's have come in together and then split off. If this is iin a club where single guys are limited (8 in our case), then what we have, in effect, is more single guys roaming around than advertised, which pisses couples off.

As Smush has said, this wouldn't be a problem in a club where guys are not limited and I know this is the case in other clubs, but in our case, yes it is a problem due to our quota of guys.

However, what we find is that most of our FB couples want to stay and play together and look out for each other; it works really well. So I tend to take an individual approach to issuing memberships and look at each 'case' based on whether a 'couple' have just met alone to get into a club or if they are regualr FB's who enjoy the lifestyle together.

There are one or two clubs in the Northwest who strictly say no to FB couples and I understand why and that is just their policy. Just choose your clubs based on what you want from the night and how their policies work. If you push your luck with a club with a no FB policy, you will end up falling out and it will spoil your experience as a single there. I would just go to that club as a single and respect their decision and use other clubs as an FB couple.

Good luck! xxx

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

[Removed by poster at 01/11/15 12:34:36]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The club I was at didn't take record of whether a couple was married or even together romantically but as stated above, if you're arriving together to play separately then that's not in the spirit of a couples membership, at least on couples only nights. Certainly speak to the management and ask them to explain their reasoning to you. It could be a blanket policy or it could be because of you/your lady friends actions

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"If you are going to play regularly as a couple in the club, you should be entitled to a couples membership. We would give you a membership and give the card to your lady friend as she can use this to get in on her own; you could not. You would need a single guy membership to come in alone.

i have more issue with this... because you are then valueing the woman more than the man.....

if it is a "couples" membership then it should be used as a couple... not just as a single woman... or a single man...

play as a couple, stay as a couple... i hate the fact that some people wander off and do their own thing as a means of a) getting round higher costs and b) getting in on nights that wouldn't be aimed at them...

but i don't think policy is the answer... and actually is closer to flounting laws.. or spirits of the law

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think the club is being unfair.

When i have been to a club i know of married couples that have gone around on the club alone and played with others without their partner therefore playing as 2 singles but they have gone into the club on a couples membership.

I didn't know that people have to stay together and play only as a couple if they go in together ! In the dim and distant past i didn't always stay with the guy i went in with !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well the answer to this is really simple .

Don't meet outside , meet round the corner problem solved.

I think the manager sounds like an arse. So I would probably not go there again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Having followed this thread with interest I feel I need to add to my earlier post my club buddy and I would never flout a clubs rules as thats disrespectful to the club and other clubbers and if we attended the townhouse 1 of our favorite clubs we went and played as a cpl and on cpls only evenings we were playing as a cpl not as singles. As vicky so rightly pointed out if a club does have a cpls membership then you must be respectful of that and if your not sure on a clubs policy I suggest you contact management for clarification on thier cpls policies

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By *owerpole OP Man over a year ago

Accrington

Just to clarify things, when we go as a couple, we stay as a couple, I don't use her to get around rules... the club in question doesn't have paid membership. . Females get in for free. Cpls pay £10 single guys pay £20. Even though we both have our own homes we enjoy the club atmosphere.

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By *rummiePartyManMan over a year ago

birmingham

It's a sad state of affairs when a man and a woman who are not married or romantically entwined cannot go to a club as a couple and act as a couple in a couples environment, when I've seen plenty of instances of married (etc) couples get in to clubs on couples only night where it's obvious that only the man is up for any playing.

How come it's alright for wives (etc) to be left at the bar when the man goes to play, or for a wife (etc) to cling on to her male partner (hubbie etc) like a rucksack in "don't touch me mode" whilst the guy plays away? Why do married couples who do this get the benefit of the doubt but a FB couple not?

And it's not just club managements that permit this sort of behaviour. Other couples show a passive acceptance to this too. Just look at the complaints that you get about single guy prowlers, when in a couples environment, there are exactly as many male prowlers, just they have reluctant wives with them that allow them to get away with it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Many women advertise for guys to take them.. And it's only hearsay that the op did the things he is accused of.

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

We are a couple, when we join clubs we show ID with the same surname on, arrive in one car, leave in one car. We will always play together at some point, hopefully play with other couples, and also have played separately before. We have never had any issues, or clubs stating that we can only play together or with other couples. I would be interested to hear if any genuine couples that also play alone, have ever had a problem.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How do a fb couple stand like us who play regularly, go clubs, parties and socials but aren't in a relationship - would we not be welcome in said club as a paying couple!!?

Check out our veris - we a fun loving friend couple!!! Be interested on clubs comments plz

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By *rummiePartyManMan over a year ago

birmingham

"How do a fb couple stand like us who play regularly, go clubs, parties and socials but aren't in a relationship - would we not be welcome in said club as a paying couple!!?

Check out our veris - we a fun loving friend couple!!! Be interested on clubs comments plz "

You and the OP are both from the North-West so may well be going to the same places. Maybe a PM to the OP will get you the info you need to avoid a wasted trip if there is indeed a club which is FBphobic.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Having recently visited a club for several weeks I met a lady whom has become my regular fb. Now when I go I either meet her at her home or her usual club. Now the manager has decided that were not a couple and if she comes to meet me outside and then we go in... I'll get changed full single man price. Is this fair?"
no it's not don't go in teach them a lesson ,they only understand the power of the euro ,people just don't matter anymore hit them where it hurts in their purse strings ,go to another club but tell them you're doing it ,stand up for swingers rights couples rights

hugs

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By *awandOrderCouple over a year ago

SW London

We had this trouble a lot when we first got together. Our 'couple' status was accepted by our friends and families, but not by venues where Mr law had been on his own before.

Then we had an issue where I was told by a club that he was using me as a meal ticket as I don't tend to play as much as he does (we met here as singles, so I am not a woman clinging to him nor is he using me in any way to get in cheaper).

When we go to a club, we would expect to be able to play separate, if we wanted to and someone wanted us too ... not just me, but one or the other of us. I was really shocked that a club could assume it knew his motives more than I did - how stupid did they think I was, and how rude to think that of me. I mean, imagine him sharing the mortgage and all other household expenses just so he could get into a swinging club and play as a single guy - really?? Your club is really that good? Are you sure about that? (It's a club in the London area, so no-one here).

We are not joined at the hip, and no one puts pressure on me to play or not to play, nor on him - so we avoid these clubs.

I too have seen couples in clubs where one of the two obviously does not want to be there ... its not a simple as people make out and there are a lot of double standards where men are assumed to play one role and women another - all very traditional and not to upset the apple cart.

Stand up for swingers rights, for sure - go too clubs where everyone is valued, not those who demonise single males and attempt to control what their clientele do ...

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By *leepyangelCouple over a year ago

over the hill and far away

I have regularly been approached by single men for me to be their "ticket" to get into a club instead of them paying single guys fees

The club concerned does not have a single guys joining fee so the OP was quids in

Apparently, not the full truth is shown on this posting as he was actually Sussed in this club for being single. Now by posting comments on here it is Sour Grapes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Personally i think if you're not a couple then you shouldn't pretend to be one. We go to clubs predominantly on couples and single females nights because we don't want to be surrounded by single men... what's the point if they can pose as a couple and go anyway?

It pisses people off enough when singles have a couples profile on here to bait people, let alone doing it in person in a club.

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By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

If you go as a couple and do play together in clubs (as well as separately if you like) then I feel you should be treated as a couple.

When I called a club a few hours north of me to attend with I playmate they wouldn't accept us as a couple, and I felt were rude and had unnecessary attitude, I voted with my feet and took my business permenantly elsewhere as I did not want to support them.

I since have heard of many people who had the same experience with this particular venue.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Personally i think if you're not a couple then you shouldn't pretend to be one. We go to clubs predominantly on couples and single females nights because we don't want to be surrounded by single men... what's the point if they can pose as a couple and go anyway?

It pisses people off enough when singles have a couples profile on here to bait people, let alone doing it in person in a club."

I can understand if two.singles go and then don't have anything to do with each other all night... But does it really matter if they are not in a full on live together relationship. We know quite a few fb couples that the chemistry and way they are together Is as good as or better than many " real" couples .

And I don't get why two singles being together as a couple baits people... Its still a pair. Yes I get that some may only want other married couples but many fb couples have been seeing each other quite a while

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

I have separate couples membership with three different guys. The club managment know that I couldn't possibly be a couple with all three of them. However, I have known these guys for some time now and go to this club with them often. We go together, leave together and stay in the club together. However, we are not joined at the hip and sometimes I wander off a little to either have a look around by myself or to have some fun with someone else

PS. Someone mentioned same surnames. I guess this is to prove they are married. What about couples who do not want bits of paper flying around? Or what about where I come from where the woman do not take on the man's surname?

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

[Removed by poster at 02/11/15 09:22:24]

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

We also have at least a dozen poly relationships who come in! So one lady who is in a relationship with 2-3 guys, 1 guy with 2 or more women or several people in poly families where any combination is possible. Strict couple policy in venues would exclude these people as the membership cannot be interchanged. We issue a couples card and put all names on the card to poly families.

I do think an individual approach is needed with memberships. When you have been doing this long enough, the people who have just picked each other up that day are obvious...those who are fb's often know as much about each other as a regular couple! lol

At the end of the day, if a couples membership is given and it's abused, take it off them! I don't think it's rocket science to be honest!!

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

"We also have at least a dozen poly relationships who come in! So one lady who is in a relationship with 2-3 guys, 1 guy with 2 or more women or several people in poly families where any combination is possible. Strict couple policy in venues would exclude these people as the membership cannot be interchanged. We issue a couples card and put all names on the card to poly families.

At the end of the day, if a couples membership is given and it's abused, take it off them! I don't think it's rocket science to be honest!! "

That is a very sensible approach

There are two clubs I visit; one only has monthly events. Both take the view that they are intelligent and experienced enough to know if people are just pretending to be together for the sake of reduced entry for the male or not

But one club is so pedantic; I have stopped going there now. A friend was visiting me from Germany for a week and staying with me in my home. I checked in advance if I could bring with with me as a couple; "NO; we know you are single". I took him elsewhere

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It pisses people off enough when singles have a couples profile on here to bait people, let alone doing it in person in a club."

We go to couples nights at clubs regularly And always have a lot of fun together and with other couples!! At times we have had separate room swap but mainly when others have instigated this.....And sometimes only one of us plays, again when it arises!! (Sure this the same for some "real couples") We never wonder around trying to 'bait' people!!! We are both single and neither of us want a relationship BUT we play together, have a couple profile that we meet mainly couples on and we have a great rapport and sometimes we share this zest for life and naughty fun in clubs! Be a shame if all clubs adapted the same policy.....for them!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Plus we been friends and playing together for nearly 6 months before me made our couple profile AND one of our first veris is from a club!!! Think difference is is with - we are BOTH happy to be in this lifestyle - not always the case for a lot of "real couples"

life too short to not have fun xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The club is being very judgmental aren't they ? What is the definition of a fuck buddy. Mrs n and I chuckle a bit about being fuck buddies that happen to live together and have been together 13 years. Have you got to do some sort of time serving or something to qualify for what they describe as a couple.

I should challenge it mate and say they are being discriminatory. I think they will soon back down if you cause a bit of a stink about it. Who knows what makes a relationship work. It's not fair. Tell them to bog off with their stupid club and rules.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It pisses people off enough when singles have a couples profile on here to bait people, let alone doing it in person in a club.

I really don't agree with the supposition put forward. What does the club do, monitor people and say Oiiiiii you've come in our club and buggered off to play with other men all night. I really don't see how it is any of their business how couples conduct themselves. Stop running a club for swingers if you are going to tightly control what constitutes swinging and view it in your own narrow band of £s and pence. At end of day the clubs argument is solely based on loss of revenue.

Anyway what if a FB couple do come in a club and split off so that the woman has lots of men. Surely the attraction of going to a club for a single man is to find an available woman that likes lots of sex. I certainly would LOL. Nope the clubs position is that they've lost their precious £ 25 or £ 35 or whatever it is revenue. And that stinks in my eyes. Hey and I am a bloke that has never been to a club without my partner. Hufffffffff.........grrrrrrrrrrrrr

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't see the issue with "fake couples." Some real couples play separately, are they checked each time to see who they will be playing with?

I would think the main issue is numbers...not wanting single guys to outnumber couples and women. But if they are going with a woman, where is the issue with that?

I guess I just see this as a way for clubs to make more money off single men.

-Courtney

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

"I have separate couples membership with three different guys. The club managment know that I couldn't possibly be a couple with all three of them. However, I have known these guys for some time now and go to this club with them often. We go together, leave together and stay in the club together. However, we are not joined at the hip and sometimes I wander off a little to either have a look around by myself or to have some fun with someone else

All the clubs we have been to required us to show ID. Its not like we carry around ID to flash around for fun!

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

I think a few people missed the point, they had an issue because the woman was going in as a single, then when he arrived she was leaving the club to the come in as a couple.

They expect couples to arrive together, this seems to be more about getting him in cheaper even though £20 for a male is cheap anyways.

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By *epper123Woman over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 03/11/15 21:58:52]

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By *osieWoman over a year ago

Wembley

All the clubs we have been to required us to show ID. Its not like we carry around ID to flash around for fun! "

I don't understand your comment

I too had to show my passport and utility bills and so did he. The club then issued us with a couples membership card

We have different surnames, different addresses and different nationalities

Nobody asked either one of us for a marriage certificate

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't see the issue with "fake couples." Some real couples play separately, are they checked each time to see who they will be playing with?

I would think the main issue is numbers...not wanting single guys to outnumber couples and women. But if they are going with a woman, where is the issue with that?

I guess I just see this as a way for clubs to make more money off single men.

-Courtney"
yes chip exactly, what everyone seems to forget ,it's a business they need to make some kind of profit to cover their costs ,they have people on here working to drum up business for the clubs and without the ridiculous prices they charge single guys to get in they wouldn't achieve it xx couples memberships will for most clubs be guarded but surely you can have a couples membership for several different regular partners ?

hugs

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By *it of fun cplCouple over a year ago

village between York and Hull

if 2 people meet outside the club and go in together surely they should be classed as a couple. However if one of them tries to enter on their own then they should have to pay as a single.

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