FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Lack of common sense.
Lack of common sense.
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Was in Infusions on Friday night and took along a lady friend who was new to the scene and obviously very nervous.
We had just walked in and another female sitting at the bar recognised her. Rather than using common sense and following what I thought was etiquette for these occasions and just either not acknowledging or nodding politely. She chose to shout accross the room my friends name several times until she would acknowledge her.
So thank you whoever you are, It is now highly unlikely my friend will return to the club. Good on you!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Firstly, the two ladies were both in the same place presumably for the same purpose, although I agree it was a little tactless to yell. Secondly, as someone who signs people into a club, if the lady was that visibly nervous I'd suggest that she wasn't ready for the experience. Apprehension before going for the first time is expected, being so obviously visibly nervous as you indicate isn't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Firstly, the two ladies were both in the same place presumably for the same purpose, although I agree it was a little tactless to yell. Secondly, as someone who signs people into a club, if the lady was that visibly nervous I'd suggest that she wasn't ready for the experience. Apprehension before going for the first time is expected, being so obviously visibly nervous as you indicate isn't "
I tend to agree, yes the woman shouldn't have shouted her name out and it would piss me off but ultimately other than people in earshot hearing her name I'm not seeing what harm was really done? |
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"Firstly, the two ladies were both in the same place presumably for the same purpose, although I agree it was a little tactless to yell. Secondly, as someone who signs people into a club, if the lady was that visibly nervous I'd suggest that she wasn't ready for the experience. Apprehension before going for the first time is expected, being so obviously visibly nervous as you indicate isn't
I tend to agree, yes the woman shouldn't have shouted her name out and it would piss me off but ultimately other than people in earshot hearing her name I'm not seeing what harm was really done?"
Many have a swinging pseudonym. I for one wouldn't like my true name repeatedly shouted out in a club. |
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Think back to your own first times and imagine you had your name shouted out accross a crowded room of strangers in a swingers club. Not everyone has the same confidence. On your first visit most of us want to have a look round and get a feel of the place.
There were 2 other people in the club including the hostess on the night that commented on how out of order it was. So obviously I am not alone in my thinking.
We ended up leaving within 30 or so minutes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think back to your own first times and imagine you had your name shouted out accross a crowded room of strangers in a swingers club. Not everyone has the same confidence. On your first visit most of us want to have a look round and get a feel of the place.
There were 2 other people in the club including the hostess on the night that commented on how out of order it was. So obviously I am not alone in my thinking.
We ended up leaving within 30 or so minutes. "
I acknowledged that she shouldn't have done it, but this post only reinforces the fact that the issue appears to have been as much your friends nerves as the other lady's behaviour.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think back to your own first times and imagine you had your name shouted out accross a crowded room of strangers in a swingers club. Not everyone has the same confidence. On your first visit most of us want to have a look round and get a feel of the place.
There were 2 other people in the club including the hostess on the night that commented on how out of order it was. So obviously I am not alone in my thinking.
We ended up leaving within 30 or so minutes. "
Not all strangers though were they?
I do agree it was tactless but I suspect she wasn't the sole reason for you both leaving. You can still get a feel for a place after someone knows your name. I understand you're frustration but I think the blame for hoe your night ended is misplaced |
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"Think back to your own first times and imagine you had your name shouted out accross a crowded room of strangers in a swingers club. Not everyone has the same confidence. On your first visit most of us want to have a look round and get a feel of the place.
There were 2 other people in the club including the hostess on the night that commented on how out of order it was. So obviously I am not alone in my thinking.
We ended up leaving within 30 or so minutes.
I acknowledged that she shouldn't have done it, but this post only reinforces the fact that the issue appears to have been as much your friends nerves as the other lady's behaviour.
"
I think that is a very unfair assumption. The lady in question was not of an unreasonably high nervous position.
Imagine I was an ex friend of yours you met on your first visit and I shouted out to all and sundry your name and pretty much drew the rooms attention to you as you walked in the door!
I genuinely cannot believe anyone defending behaviour like that. |
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"Think back to your own first times and imagine you had your name shouted out accross a crowded room of strangers in a swingers club. Not everyone has the same confidence. On your first visit most of us want to have a look round and get a feel of the place.
There were 2 other people in the club including the hostess on the night that commented on how out of order it was. So obviously I am not alone in my thinking.
We ended up leaving within 30 or so minutes.
Not all strangers though were they?
I do agree it was tactless but I suspect she wasn't the sole reason for you both leaving. You can still get a feel for a place after someone knows your name. I understand you're frustration but I think the blame for hoe your night ended is misplaced "
I can assure you the blame for the night ending as it did lies squarely on the head of the tactless young lady. My friend commented herself at how having been pointed out by her had made her uneasy. Hang on, You weren't in Infusion Friday night were you bagheera?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think back to your own first times and imagine you had your name shouted out accross a crowded room of strangers in a swingers club. Not everyone has the same confidence. On your first visit most of us want to have a look round and get a feel of the place.
There were 2 other people in the club including the hostess on the night that commented on how out of order it was. So obviously I am not alone in my thinking.
We ended up leaving within 30 or so minutes.
I acknowledged that she shouldn't have done it, but this post only reinforces the fact that the issue appears to have been as much your friends nerves as the other lady's behaviour.
I think that is a very unfair assumption. The lady in question was not of an unreasonably high nervous position.
Imagine I was an ex friend of yours you met on your first visit and I shouted out to all and sundry your name and pretty much drew the rooms attention to you as you walked in the door!
I genuinely cannot believe anyone defending behaviour like that."
I haven;t defended her behaviour 
But I am confused, in your opening post she was 'very nervous' now she was not nervous - It's hardly an unfair assumption of that is the image you portrayed of her?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think back to your own first times and imagine you had your name shouted out accross a crowded room of strangers in a swingers club. Not everyone has the same confidence. On your first visit most of us want to have a look round and get a feel of the place.
There were 2 other people in the club including the hostess on the night that commented on how out of order it was. So obviously I am not alone in my thinking.
We ended up leaving within 30 or so minutes.
Not all strangers though were they?
I do agree it was tactless but I suspect she wasn't the sole reason for you both leaving. You can still get a feel for a place after someone knows your name. I understand you're frustration but I think the blame for hoe your night ended is misplaced
I can assure you the blame for the night ending as it did lies squarely on the head of the tactless young lady. My friend commented herself at how having been pointed out by her had made her uneasy. Hang on, You weren't in Infusion Friday night were you bagheera? "
Unfortunately I was working elsewhere. However when similar events occurred to me, I just took it to mean I had been introduced to everyone saving me the hassle. Everyone in there was an adult, people knowing her name isn't a big deal. They were all there to swing, there's no shame in it |
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"Think back to your own first times and imagine you had your name shouted out accross a crowded room of strangers in a swingers club. Not everyone has the same confidence. On your first visit most of us want to have a look round and get a feel of the place.
There were 2 other people in the club including the hostess on the night that commented on how out of order it was. So obviously I am not alone in my thinking.
We ended up leaving within 30 or so minutes.
I acknowledged that she shouldn't have done it, but this post only reinforces the fact that the issue appears to have been as much your friends nerves as the other lady's behaviour.
I think that is a very unfair assumption. The lady in question was not of an unreasonably high nervous position.
Imagine I was an ex friend of yours you met on your first visit and I shouted out to all and sundry your name and pretty much drew the rooms attention to you as you walked in the door!
I genuinely cannot believe anyone defending behaviour like that.
I haven;t defended her behaviour
But I am confused, in your opening post she was 'very nervous' now she was not nervous - It's hardly an unfair assumption of that is the image you portrayed of her?
"
In that case I shall rephrase, she was as nervous as most of us are on our very first visit to a swinger club. I think you will find I never at any point said she wasn't nervous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We went to a different club to our usual one night, the hostess opened a door while showing us round and shouted our names to everyone in the room (about 40 people). Made us really uncomfortable and was a contributing factor to us leaving 10 minutes later. Can certainly sympathise with the op. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think back to your own first times and imagine you had your name shouted out accross a crowded room of strangers in a swingers club. Not everyone has the same confidence. On your first visit most of us want to have a look round and get a feel of the place.
There were 2 other people in the club including the hostess on the night that commented on how out of order it was. So obviously I am not alone in my thinking.
We ended up leaving within 30 or so minutes.
Not all strangers though were they?
I do agree it was tactless but I suspect she wasn't the sole reason for you both leaving. You can still get a feel for a place after someone knows your name. I understand you're frustration but I think the blame for hoe your night ended is misplaced
I can assure you the blame for the night ending as it did lies squarely on the head of the tactless young lady. My friend commented herself at how having been pointed out by her had made her uneasy. Hang on, You weren't in Infusion Friday night were you bagheera? "
If her name being shouted and people turning round to look at her made her uneasy how is she going to feel if she went to play. I think if it made her that uneasy that yous cut your night short then there was possibly other reasons why u made an early exit. 5 mins after the incident everyone would of forgot about it and most would of probably forgot her name as well. |
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Hiya
I was the host working on Friday night and omg this lady shouted so loud you could of herd her outside the club I did say to the lady she was out of order and there is ways of saying hi to people and how us swingers are supposed to be discreet as this cpl left I said sorry for what this lady did to them
I'm so sorry once again
Jo |
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"Hiya
I was the host working on Friday night and omg this lady shouted so loud you could of herd her outside the club I did say to the lady she was out of order and there is ways of saying hi to people and how us swingers are supposed to be discreet as this cpl left I said sorry for what this lady did to them
I'm so sorry once again
Jo "
Hi Jo,Thank you and no need for you to apologise. I have always found the staff in infusions to be beyond first class. As also are most of the patrons.
I may convince her to give it another shot some day. Poor girl was mortified.
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