FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Are single males at clubs welcome?
Are single males at clubs welcome?
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"Our introduction is a 2 way process. We've done it for nearly 3 years and it works really well. We have the opportunity to meet guys when the club is closed, walk through the club with them, chat about how it all works, how to get along, rules and how to make the most of the swinging experience. You also have a chance to see the club before there are loads of people in, ask any questions that you may find embarrassing with other people around and get a feel for what we are about. The intro last an hour; it's free and we offer you a drink. If, after the hour you feel that it's not for you, you walk away, no questions asked. If you like us, then we invite you to stay for the rest of the evening at the normal entry charge of £20. At the end of the night, if you like us and we like you, we offer you a free membership. The whole 'vetting' thing is not about looks, the size of your cock or your ability to charm the ladies. It's about knowing that you are not guaranteed a play just because you pay your money, it's about respecting yourself, the other members and the club and it's about adhering to the simple rules of the club. It's not rocket science, but actually there are a small number of guys out there who just don't 'get it' and this is our way of ling them out! What we are left with, is a cracking single male membership who know how to behave and are an asset to our club. We look after our guys as we know you have had to jump through some hoops to get your membership and in return, we have many events that are very reasonably priced and we limit numbers are certain nights so you are in demand. Hope this helps to clarify and put your mind at ease Vicky xxxxx" *on certain nights* | |||
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"Thanks Vicky, it sounds like you make people very welcome. I am working away this week but hoping to come along the Wednesday after to meet you and see what it is all about. Look forward to meeting you then. "No worries at all, just give us a ring when you are looking to come along to book in xx | |||
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" (trimmed): At the end of the night, if you like us and we like you, we offer you a free membership. ... It's not rocket science, but actually there are a small number of guys out there who just don't 'get it' and this is our way of ling them out!" Thanks for that explanation of your process - we're wondering out of interest how many of the men decide not to stay, and of those who do, how many you reject? ( Guessing they don't take the club rejection well, if you've already caught the vibes that they wouldn't take the 'no' in person later well either! ) We're hoping to make our way to Townhouse sometime soon, so it's great to hear how you organise things. Our experience in clubs is that the vast majority of single guys on evenings they're allowed in are really nice and respectful, a small number (perhaps 10%) are a bit too pushy, and a minority (1%?) try to join in uninvited and so get a sharp warning (or ejection!) | |||
" (trimmed): At the end of the night, if you like us and we like you, we offer you a free membership. ... It's not rocket science, but actually there are a small number of guys out there who just don't 'get it' and this is our way of ling them out! Thanks for that explanation of your process - we're wondering out of interest how many of the men decide not to stay, and of those who do, how many you reject? ( Guessing they don't take the club rejection well, if you've already caught the vibes that they wouldn't take the 'no' in person later well either! ) We're hoping to make our way to Townhouse sometime soon, so it's great to hear how you organise things. Our experience in clubs is that the vast majority of single guys on evenings they're allowed in are really nice and respectful, a small number (perhaps 10%) are a bit too pushy, and a minority (1%?) try to join in uninvited and so get a sharp warning (or ejection!) " To be very honest with you, the process starts with the initial contact by phone or email. Ii can usually tell over the phone if the guy has the right attitude. If he wants to be spoon fed information rather than look at our very informative website, then my alarm bells are ringing; if he doesn't want to make an effort now, how will he be in the club. So I probe further and ask leading questions. Usually be this point, I am thinking do I let him come to the intro or not. So the guys that we get on the intro night have already impressed us somewhat. Emails or messages on here are easier as the profiles tell me a lot and how they word their enquiry. The cock shot PMs, with 'Wanna Join' and nothing else get ignored. Our process is explained clearly on the website and over the phone. If the guys turn up without their ID or looking like a scruff, they get turned away at the door. Those that have got their ID, turn up looking presentable and on time, have made an effort; that's all we ask for at this stage and it goes a long way. Out of those who come for the intro, I think only 3 guys have ever said that they don't want to stay. One of those knew another guy on the intro and bottled it, the other 2 were so nervous, we thought they were going to hyperventilate and they weren't up to staying. Out of those who decide to stay on, I would say only 5% don't get a membership. They have already been through a vetting process from their first contact, we've met them, talked to them in depth....we have been doing this a long time now, so we are a good judge of character, so there are not many that make it to the end of the night and don't get a free membership. Those that don't get a membership have usually broken a fundamental rule; so maybe no inappropriate touching, no means no etc...On their intro, they get one chance and our members are shit hot at telling us what's going on. So they are told to get dressed and leave. There is no excuse for misbehaving on this night or any other as we have talked to them in depth about how to behave and they need to prove to us that they 'get it'. If they don't, they are asked to leave. The guys have no right to be pissed off at us if they don't get a membership. The rules of our club are simple and if they break them, they only have themselves to blame. This is a lot more work for us, but actually in the long run, it works out better as our ladies and couples appreciate that the guys have had to jump through some hoops to get a membership and they are really nice guys who will add to a night rather than hinder a night. We started doing this after our own experiences elsewhere stopped us going to certain clubs and I wasn't going to let Townhouse go down the same route. Hope this helps and hopefully we will see you soon!! 
Vic xxx | |||
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"Not the fucking single guy that was trying to tell me what to do last night when, trying to get my grove on!!!! He kept pushing me in the back the nob and saying weird shit, put me right off and I'm a single guy" You weren't at Townhouse last night...I just want to clarify for those who may misread your response | |||
"I am about to embark on a new adventure and start going to Swingers clubs. My wife isn't interested so I will be going on my own. Are single men made to feel welcome or are they treated as a nuisance by the other couples and single ladies? I thought I would join the Townhouse as they appear to have good feedback and have a single male introduction night. Your thoughts people?" From what I've heard some clubs can be funny about it, some clubs don't allow single men for events, though regular nights are OK, and some clubs don't allow single men at all. However, I have only ever visited the Attic in Derby and staff are always welcoming unless there's a complaint or you break the rules | |||
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Being on my own at first was daunting, but now I feel like I am one of their friends.
Don't go with the expectation of play, treat it like a night down the pub | |||
"The club I go to allows single males in, they vet you before hand and make sure your going to respect their venue. The people I have met there so far have all left me nice compliments
Being on my own at first was daunting, but now I feel like I am one of their friends.
Don't go with the expectation of play, treat it like a night down the pub " | |||
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"Not the fucking single guy that was trying to tell me what to do last night when, trying to get my grove on!!!! He kept pushing me in the back the nob and saying weird shit, put me right off and I'm a single guy You weren't at Townhouse last night...I just want to clarify for those who may misread your response" No I wasn't at townhouse last night, but this doesn't have anything to do with the club, just an old idiot | |||
"Not the fucking single guy that was trying to tell me what to do last night when, trying to get my grove on!!!! He kept pushing me in the back the nob and saying weird shit, put me right off and I'm a single guy You weren't at Townhouse last night...I just want to clarify for those who may misread your response No I wasn't at townhouse last night, but this doesn't have anything to do with the club, just an old idiot" lol...the local village idiot?! pmsl Sorry you had that experience; it can ruin a night! xx | |||
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"I have a feeling I come across as creepy when I'm waiting for an opportunity to introduce myself, I don't like interrupting conversations because it's rude, but at the same time, I don't like to creep people out, if there's no break in the conversation, I move on. I see people playing, I assume they're just into each other and (usually) ask if it's OK to watch or play, the usually is for asking to watch, last night in the cinema at the Attic, there was a lot of play going on, and I felt uncomfortable leaving, or asking to join in, and seeing as how people were already watching, I thought I'd just enjoy watching" Try wandering round first, just saying hello and have no aim to play straight away. For us the first few words (hello is good enough!) let us know whether we might be interested and then later you have a much better chance of catching our eye! This works for us, but of course others are the complete opposite
We do find that once we have got into a long drawn out conversation with someone, the chances diminish by the paragraph!! Good luck  | |||
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" (trimmed): At the end of the night, if you like us and we like you, we offer you a free membership. ... It's not rocket science, but actually there are a small number of guys out there who just don't 'get it' and this is our way of ling them out! Thanks for that explanation of your process - we're wondering out of interest how many of the men decide not to stay, and of those who do, how many you reject? ( Guessing they don't take the club rejection well, if you've already caught the vibes that they wouldn't take the 'no' in person later well either! ) We're hoping to make our way to Townhouse sometime soon, so it's great to hear how you organise things. Our experience in clubs is that the vast majority of single guys on evenings they're allowed in are really nice and respectful, a small number (perhaps 10%) are a bit too pushy, and a minority (1%?) try to join in uninvited and so get a sharp warning (or ejection!) To be very honest with you, the process starts with the initial contact by phone or email. Ii can usually tell over the phone if the guy has the right attitude. If he wants to be spoon fed information rather than look at our very informative website, then my alarm bells are ringing; if he doesn't want to make an effort now, how will he be in the club. So I probe further and ask leading questions. Usually be this point, I am thinking do I let him come to the intro or not. So the guys that we get on the intro night have already impressed us somewhat. Emails or messages on here are easier as the profiles tell me a lot and how they word their enquiry. The cock shot PMs, with 'Wanna Join' and nothing else get ignored. Our process is explained clearly on the website and over the phone. If the guys turn up without their ID or looking like a scruff, they get turned away at the door. Those that have got their ID, turn up looking presentable and on time, have made an effort; that's all we ask for at this stage and it goes a long way. Out of those who come for the intro, I think only 3 guys have ever said that they don't want to stay. One of those knew another guy on the intro and bottled it, the other 2 were so nervous, we thought they were going to hyperventilate and they weren't up to staying. Out of those who decide to stay on, I would say only 5% don't get a membership. They have already been through a vetting process from their first contact, we've met them, talked to them in depth....we have been doing this a long time now, so we are a good judge of character, so there are not many that make it to the end of the night and don't get a free membership. Those that don't get a membership have usually broken a fundamental rule; so maybe no inappropriate touching, no means no etc...On their intro, they get one chance and our members are shit hot at telling us what's going on. So they are told to get dressed and leave. There is no excuse for misbehaving on this night or any other as we have talked to them in depth about how to behave and they need to prove to us that they 'get it'. If they don't, they are asked to leave. The guys have no right to be pissed off at us if they don't get a membership. The rules of our club are simple and if they break them, they only have themselves to blame. This is a lot more work for us, but actually in the long run, it works out better as our ladies and couples appreciate that the guys have had to jump through some hoops to get a membership and they are really nice guys who will add to a night rather than hinder a night. We started doing this after our own experiences elsewhere stopped us going to certain clubs and I wasn't going to let Townhouse go down the same route. Hope this helps and hopefully we will see you soon!!
Vic xxx"You have got us very interested! Just looked at your website, looks like our type of place, Shame how far away you are, think we will have to plan a dirty weekend away to see you soon! do we need to prebook/fill in a form ect first? X | |||
"One other piece of advice, if you are told 'no' however they tell you - don't then proceed to call the female a bitch!! If I could have got the 'locked' door open quick enough (he ran away) he would have known this bitch can punch!! Some single guys give the rest a really bad name! We are lucky enough to know a few single men who are fantastic and so know this isn't how they 'all' behave Enjoy and follow a few SIMPLE rules and you'll have a blast "Damn iPhone autocorrect strikes again  | |||
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"Ignore me townhouse. Just read through your site more carefully and found the answer " | |||
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"A shag is not guaranteed in any club and there might be a high fee to get in. Good luck." Try telling that to a pillock in a club i went too with fb he like others were told no touching etc all bar one respected this even though he was told he thought i was not looking he was about to try fucking her you can imagine what i said i quote what he said why bring her if she aint here to be fucked as us single men pay a lot of money. | |||
"A shag is not guaranteed in any club and there might be a high fee to get in. Good luck. Try telling that to a pillock in a club i went too with fb he like others were told no touching etc all bar one respected this even though he was told he thought i was not looking he was about to try fucking her you can imagine what i said i quote what he said why bring her if she aint here to be fucked as us single men pay a lot of money. " There are always going to be the odd minority that spoil it for others. Just because that particular 'pillock' acted in that way, it by no means is an indication that all single men have that same attitude. I am a regular club goer and have seen my fair share of disrespectful people in the club's but the respectful guys definitely out weigh the pillocks. I personally have had only one incident in three years that someone has stepped over the line.  | |||
"Pretend your going to pub alone no difference except possibility of sex but as with pub scene no guarantees just be yourself dont try too hard. When me and fb go to a club I do not allow play with those that follow you around like a lost dog smacks of desperation to us. More chance of play if just chill out thats how we work anyway." Exactly this. I normally socialise around the bar area and occasionally have a wander round to see if there is anything interesting to watch. But if there are lots of guys lurking in the corridors I remove myself back to the bar. Just be yourself and socialise, it's all about making new friends. Above all else, relax and enjoy | |||
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"Thank you all so much for the advice and a lot of discussion. It all sounds very positive as I am not the kind of guy to hound people and am quite excited just to meet people with similar interests. I will be phoning you next week Vicky as I have definitely decided that the Town House is my best place to start! "Good decision, we've been attending the Townhouse for three years now and the place is second to none in our opinion. I can usually be found there on a Wednesday night so feel free to say hi. The club is friendly and the staff always make an effort to make sure every one feels welcome. | |||
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"he said why bring her if she aint here to be fucked as us single men pay a lot of money. " And this is why I believe that every single individual should be charged the same. | |||
" When me and fb go to a club I do not allow play with those that follow you around like a lost dog smacks of desperation to us. " shouldn't that be "we" and not "I".... the one thing I hate more than the single guy antics mentioned is when "single guy" comes with someone and thinks they are king bee and lords it over people.... turns into "prize knob" wandering around with his "golden tickets to couples"....... | |||
" Single guys are very welcome at Amour and we run a social on Sunday afternoon where you can come and have a look around and a coffee and decide if it is the club for you x" Aren't Sunday afternoons couples only at the moment? | |||
" There are always going to be the odd minority that spoil it for others. Just because that particular 'pillock' acted in that way, it by no means is an indication that all single men have that same attitude. I am a regular club goer and have seen my fair share of disrespectful people in the club's but the respectful guys definitely out weigh the pillocks. I personally have had only one incident in three years that someone has stepped over the line. "I have seen a few.... actually, probably as many by couples as I have singles.... an arse is an arse regardless..... | |||
" Single guys are very welcome at Amour and we run a social on Sunday afternoon where you can come and have a look around and a coffee and decide if it is the club for you x Aren't Sunday afternoons couples only at the moment?" No hunni, it's social between 1-7 then it's open to all in the evening x | |||
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"Thank you all so much for the advice and a lot of discussion. It all sounds very positive as I am not the kind of guy to hound people and am quite excited just to meet people with similar interests. I will be phoning you next week Vicky as I have definitely decided that the Town House is my best place to start!
Good decision, we've been attending the Townhouse for three years now and the place is second to none in our opinion.
I can usually be found there on a Wednesday night so feel free to say hi. The club is friendly and the staff always make an effort to make sure every one feels welcome. "Thanks, I will keep an eye out for you next week to say hello x | |||
"I am about to embark on a new adventure and start going to Swingers clubs. My wife isn't interested so I will be going on my own. Are single men made to feel welcome or are they treated as a nuisance by the other couples and single ladies? I thought I would join the Townhouse as they appear to have good feedback and have a single male introduction night. Your thoughts people?" I make it my personal mission to welcome each and every single member that catches my eye! | |||
" I make it my personal mission to welcome each and every single member that catches my eye! "i have "maneater" by nelly furtado running around my head now..... | |||
