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Clothed people in swingers clubs??
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"What are peoples thoughts on people staying pretty much fully dressed when walking around then"dress down" areas of clubs? We have twice been in a club where people are walking around the play areas and wet areas fully clothed or in the pool or jacuzzi in swimwear etc.. We know some people our shy but we find it very off putting to be naked while fully clothed people walk around looking at others like its a form of viewing gallery!! Just wondered what others thoughts or feelings were... ?? " From my experience, 'dress down' venues tend to be located North of the Watford gap I currently organise parties in 7 different venues across the UK and it is only the NW venue that operates the Dress Down policy Whilst it may seem natural to people who frequent these type of venues, it may feel alien to people that tend to visit venues where guests remain clothed (in between playing or dippping in the wet side) | |||
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"What are peoples thoughts on people staying pretty much fully dressed when walking around then"dress down" areas of clubs? We have twice been in a club where people are walking around the play areas and wet areas fully clothed or in the pool or jacuzzi in swimwear etc.. We know some people our shy but we find it very off putting to be naked while fully clothed people walk around looking at others like its a form of viewing gallery!! Just wondered what others thoughts or feelings were... ?? " I've been to a lot of clubs in the NW. It's strange because if I go on a swinging night, I'm expected to dress down and if I go on a fetish night, I'm normally fully clothed. It's rare to see but I don't mind if the odd person is covered up. I always assume they are not confident in public exposing their body. That's fine with me. I'd rather them be comfortable that feel awkward and forced to dress down. Now and then you get women wearing bikini bottoms in the wet area. Again, I don't have a problem with it whatsoever and it doesn't affect what I'm doing. My version of dressing down is actually having loads of layers on. I wear a body stocking, then knickers and a basque over and then sometimes if it's cold, I'll have a see through top over. That's what I'm comfortable in. Except the wet area. I'm always naked on the jacuzzi. I don't like when the enforced dress down comes into play and I can see some people cringing that they have to undress. I don't see why you'd be bothered if people less body confident than yourselves would want to stay more covered. | |||
"Could be the people doing this are new, dont know the etiquette, are a little nervous, want to have a quick peak before diving in. Yes it might make you feel uncomfortable but take a moment to think from their point of view and how you were when you first went ?? Personally i dont like strict dress down as i prefer to choose when i take my clothes off not when im told but thats just my preference. Jamie" Dress down rule does not mean you have to be naked. There are naked nights at clubs but that is explained before entering and anyone who isn't comfortable with that wouldn't attend on that particular night. The men either wear undies and or a towel so even the more reserved of them are covered up. | |||
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"It can be unnerving to have fully dressed people in play areas. We have been in situations where there wasn't a dress down policy, but where everyone was playing in a play area and 4 or 5 fully dressed people came in and just stood there watching us. On one occasion, it made the gentleman we were with very uncomfortable, if you know what I mean. But then, I think that had more to do with the blatant staring than the fully clothed nature of the group. The fact that they were fully clothed certainly didn't help, though. So, I would prefer if people dressed down where they were supposed to, but I also understand if someone is shy or really new. However, I don't see a problem with wearing a bikini in a pool/jacuzzi any more than there is a problem wearing lingerie in the dress down areas. -Courtney" Similar at couples night at Abfabs. Even worse is when they stand around and hold discussions at the top if their voices. | |||
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"It can be unnerving to have fully dressed people in play areas. We have been in situations where there wasn't a dress down policy, but where everyone was playing in a play area and 4 or 5 fully dressed people came in and just stood there watching us. On one occasion, it made the gentleman we were with very uncomfortable, if you know what I mean. But then, I think that had more to do with the blatant staring than the fully clothed nature of the group. The fact that they were fully clothed certainly didn't help, though. So, I would prefer if people dressed down where they were supposed to, but I also understand if someone is shy or really new. However, I don't see a problem with wearing a bikini in a pool/jacuzzi any more than there is a problem wearing lingerie in the dress down areas. -Courtney" I dont mind bikinis in the hot tub, i would rather the people were comfortable, rather than be self conscious, but Mrs CLCC doesn't like it. | |||
"This is often something that crops up at Abfab/ Kestrels.... on the whole most are happy in any state of undress but many do feel uncomfortable in the pool area when fully clothed people wander around leering or standing poolside fully clothed just watching. There are no 'rules', we just kind of accept thats how those wish to enjoy themselves... one or two also use the pool wearing swimwear.... their choice the evenings are 'Clothing Optional' afterall." I feel sorry for the people on Clothing Optional evenings how arrived dressed at 6pm while the rest of us let it all hang out (and have been all day) When the fun starts much easier to whip off a towel as opposed to go through the whole rigmarole of getting undressed. The dressed person will barely have gotten his shoes off while I am ready to go! | |||
"It can be unnerving to have fully dressed people in play areas. We have been in situations where there wasn't a dress down policy, but where everyone was playing in a play area and 4 or 5 fully dressed people came in and just stood there watching us. On one occasion, it made the gentleman we were with very uncomfortable, if you know what I mean. But then, I think that had more to do with the blatant staring than the fully clothed nature of the group. The fact that they were fully clothed certainly didn't help, though. So, I would prefer if people dressed down where they were supposed to, but I also understand if someone is shy or really new. However, I don't see a problem with wearing a bikini in a pool/jacuzzi any more than there is a problem wearing lingerie in the dress down areas. -Courtney I dont mind bikinis in the hot tub, i would rather the people were comfortable, rather than be self conscious, but Mrs CLCC doesn't like it. " Do you mind if I ask why? And I mean this genuinely - I really want to know. I often (though not always) wear a bikini in the pool areas of clubs because I think they tend to be nice places to socialize, and I don't usually want to be naked while talking to people I just met. But this makes me wonder why a bikini would be viewed any differently from my lingerie (which probably covers more than my bikini does). -Courtney | |||
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"At the Vanilla Alternative they have dress down rules in the play area, its north of watford, but it's not the North West "We are newbies and were the last people to venture into the play areas on our visit to VA. Literally only the staff were left 
We hadn't spoken to anyone, except Jane.
We eventually went into the dress down area with the intention of keeping costumes on but it felt so natural to be naked, with towels when we walked about, as everyone else was, we just went for it 
The daft thing is we then found ourselves chatting with people and felt totally relaxed.We are not Jim fit love ourselves types, just ordinary middle aged couple but it just felt right.
I think if there were clothed people wandering about it wouldn't have felt the same. | |||
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"Just to clarify, we don't mean people should have to dress down at a set time or on entry. We mean fully clothed people in play areas or wet areas, that are designated as dress down. i.e. if your shy you don't have to go in those areas and you can socialise in the other areas also while dressed. Also by dress down, we think sexy underwear, shorts for guys etc in play areas or where ever people feel comfortable is different to Shoes, jeans, t-shirts and jumpers in the wet area standing and staring at naked people like they are fish in a tank... not Newbies on a tour or nervous types looking unsure! Its interesting to hear that in some clubs people don't dress down at all... thats news for us and would be interested to know how and when people play or get into the mood and if they then get dressed again after playing?? " If they are fully dressed in (for example) the wet areas, shouldn't staff tell them the club rules? | |||
"Just to clarify, we don't mean people should have to dress down at a set time or on entry. We mean fully clothed people in play areas or wet areas, that are designated as dress down. i.e. if your shy you don't have to go in those areas and you can socialise in the other areas also while dressed. Also by dress down, we think sexy underwear, shorts for guys etc in play areas or where ever people feel comfortable is different to Shoes, jeans, t-shirts and jumpers in the wet area standing and staring at naked people like they are fish in a tank... not Newbies on a tour or nervous types looking unsure! Its interesting to hear that in some clubs people don't dress down at all... thats news for us and would be interested to know how and when people play or get into the mood and if they then get dressed again after playing?? " At VA's people generally socialise in the bat and lounge areas until about 10.30 when the buffet is brought out. After that people dress down to carry on socialising in the massive hot tub. This progresses to play in the surrounding areas. As has been said previously, if anyone comes into these areas fully clothed they look quite out of place and it can be a bit off putting. | |||
"It can be unnerving to have fully dressed people in play areas. We have been in situations where there wasn't a dress down policy, but where everyone was playing in a play area and 4 or 5 fully dressed people came in and just stood there watching us. On one occasion, it made the gentleman we were with very uncomfortable, if you know what I mean. But then, I think that had more to do with the blatant staring than the fully clothed nature of the group. The fact that they were fully clothed certainly didn't help, though. So, I would prefer if people dressed down where they were supposed to, but I also understand if someone is shy or really new. However, I don't see a problem with wearing a bikini in a pool/jacuzzi any more than there is a problem wearing lingerie in the dress down areas. -Courtney I dont mind bikinis in the hot tub, i would rather the people were comfortable, rather than be self conscious, but Mrs CLCC doesn't like it. Do you mind if I ask why? And I mean this genuinely - I really want to know. I often (though not always) wear a bikini in the pool areas of clubs because I think they tend to be nice places to socialize, and I don't usually want to be naked while talking to people I just met. But this makes me wonder why a bikini would be viewed any differently from my lingerie (which probably covers more than my bikini does). -Courtney" Each club is different, so i think the main thing is to dress appropriately for that club. In the Vanilla Alternative it tends to be fully clothed, or fully naked. It tends to be people start in the bar in the clothes they arrived in, then strip naked into the hot tub (its big enough for 20+ at a time), then move to the play areas. I think she just wants everyone to be naked if she is naked. We have only seen one person wear swimwear. | |||
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" If they are fully dressed in (for example) the wet areas, shouldn't staff tell them the club rules?" Well we did think that, we were not sure if it was just us feeling a little unsure hense asking for views... we are pretty much sure that both play areas and wet area in the club it happend in are clearly marked dress down areas, however if other people think its acceptable may be it was just us being over sensative and not wanting to cause trouble.... | |||
" If they are fully dressed in (for example) the wet areas, shouldn't staff tell them the club rules? Well we did think that, we were not sure if it was just us feeling a little unsure hense asking for views... we are pretty much sure that both play areas and wet area in the club it happend in are clearly marked dress down areas, however if other people think its acceptable may be it was just us being over sensative and not wanting to cause trouble.... " Next time maybe just quietly mention it to the staff. But yeah I know what you mean... might be better to say nothing.  | |||
"Just to clarify, we don't mean people should have to dress down at a set time or on entry. We mean fully clothed people in play areas or wet areas, that are designated as dress down. i.e. if your shy you don't have to go in those areas and you can socialise in the other areas also while dressed. Also by dress down, we think sexy underwear, shorts for guys etc in play areas or where ever people feel comfortable is different to Shoes, jeans, t-shirts and jumpers in the wet area standing and staring at naked people like they are fish in a tank... not Newbies on a tour or nervous types looking unsure! Its interesting to hear that in some clubs people don't dress down at all... thats news for us and would be interested to know how and when people play or get into the mood and if they then get dressed again after playing?? " So basically you dont want to play in a sexy zoo, where the public can come and gaze at the majestic swingers in their natural habitat.  | |||
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my pet hate is when clubs allow some to stay dressed when its a dressdown club. happy swinging.  | |||
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"as a tranny i like to keep my clothes on and always do ..will strip down to undies when im playing in a private room .its a sex club not a naturists club" Dress down does not mean naked. You would be fine at a dress down club wearing sexy clothes. You would not be fine wearing 'street clothes'. People who do not want to dress down should avoid clubs where the rules are dress down - it's that simple. | |||
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"as a tranny i like to keep my clothes on and always do ..will strip down to undies when im playing in a private room .its a sex club not a naturists club"  | |||
. But anyway, isn't that what private rooms are for?
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"I always stay fully clothed ... Mr wears his cop top half and no trousers. We regularly go to a club where a lot of people walk around naked, especially the men, and they have no concern about what I am wearing, nor, I think, should they because its my business if I choose to remain clothed and their business if they choose to be naked. Surely if naked people feel uncomfortable with people being around them with clothes on, it is not the fault of those with the clothes on. Similarly I feel very uncomfortable dressing up in sexualised clothing to make people looking at me feel better. I wear what want to wear for myself, and not for others, and I would not expect anyone to dress in any particular way to fulfil or feed my fantasy about what a man or woman should look like. If someone told me to dress or undress a certain way, I would flatly refuse. Frankly we don't go to clubs/spas where people walk around in fluffy dressing gowns or towels as this reminds me of what I do when I am at home, chilling with family, not sexy at all; and as for the tight boxer brigade, reminds me of my teenage sons downstairs making toast .... if you dig into what certain people feel about what others are wearing, or not wearing, it becomes a matter of personal taste. Therefore I think we should let people where what they want to and not criticise anyone, or all hell break lose and all of us moans at everyone's dress sense. Going to a different club Saturday, fet night, and still wearing the full cover up. Just because I am a swinger does not mean I am an exhibitionist?" Interesting to hear, do you then believe club rules do not apply to you? i.e. if there is a dressdown rule for a wet area, do you just ignore it? or do you stay in the area for fully clothed people when in the clubs you visit? Not trying to upset you, just trying to understand how your view works in relation to the rules everyone else is meant to follow? | |||
"as a tranny i like to keep my clothes on and always do ..will strip down to undies when im playing in a private room .its a sex club not a naturists club Dress down does not mean naked. You would be fine at a dress down club wearing sexy clothes. You would not be fine wearing 'street clothes'. People who do not want to dress down should avoid clubs where the rules are dress down - it's that simple." Exactly our point, we don't think "everyone has to get naked" we think EVERYONE should follow the rules of the club they are in.... | |||
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"We as a club would not feel right telling other people that they have to undress, its not right, we let people come along her in whatever clothes they like, well smart or sexy that is, and undress if they want to or not, all people are different and some like their bodies and some don't, so you should have the choice and not be made to feel uncomfortable about it. I personally would object to taking my clothes off so I respect other people choices... A swingers club should be a fun place not a place to be scared or uncomfortable.. "So do you have no "dress down" areas? playrooms? wet areas? we don't believe anyone should be made to feel uncomfortable either, hence staying clothed in clothed areas and undressing in dressdown areas, so as that no one else feels uncomfortable/vunerable at all in either.. Simply stay dressed in dressed areas? Do you think people should ignore your club rules if they deem they don't agree with them? say should singles go in the couples only rooms if they don't agree its fair to be excluded? they may not feel its fair they are left out for example? Would be interested to know where the "rules don't count for me if i don't agree with them!" line is drawn with those who say "do as I please"?? | |||
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" as for those who dont like clothed people watching, dont they have private rooms for you to go to?..if you want to have sex in public, surely it doesnt bother you the attire people watching are in...? i mean cmon..... " We play in clubs. We play in open rooms. We are not wank fodder for people that aren't prepared to play and our experience over 15 years in clubs is that people who try to stay fully dressed in play areas have no intention of playing. Again, if the club has a dress down policy, dress down or don't go. Why do some people think they are special and don't need to abide by club rules? | |||
" as for those who dont like clothed people watching, dont they have private rooms for you to go to?..if you want to have sex in public, surely it doesnt bother you the attire people watching are in...? i mean cmon..... We play in clubs. We play in open rooms. We are not wank fodder for people that aren't prepared to play and our experience over 15 years in clubs is that people who try to stay fully dressed in play areas have no intention of playing. Again, if the club has a dress down policy, dress down or don't go. Why do some people think they are special and don't need to abide by club rules?" im not saying people shouldnt abide by the rules, im just saying elsewhere where these rules arent in place, it works just as well..you do your thing other people do theirs..live and let live.. .i will be able to make my own mind up on the situation soon... so people in towels dont wank over you then, is that what you are saying??? and who cares if they play or not? maybe they dont want to..surely thats cos you havent invited them to join in? or, heaven forbid, they dont want to join in with what you are doing,, sex in public view, is sex in public view..if you dont like being the view, dont be the view...simple isnt it? sounds cliquey to me...but i could be wrong...haven't experienced it yet ..so wouldn't know..but im guessing as im used to letting people have a good time their way, i probably wont notice if they are clothed or not..my only concern will be if i hate the atmosphere and ill want to go home early because i feel pressured into being 'ready to join in'...when everyone else dictates that i should be...lets trust that wont be the case x | |||
" ..haven't experienced it yet ..so wouldn't know.." Exactly. | |||
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" ..haven't experienced it yet ..so wouldn't know.. Exactly." no but i have been in a public area having sex with other people fully clothed around me,,i wasnt concerned or judgmental about it, niether was i concerned about being 'wanking material'..it wasnt my concern i was in public, that was my deal... but obviously you have an urge to express these distressing feelings of outrage, may they pass quickly and you find your inner peace again soon... much love x | |||
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" ..haven't experienced it yet ..so wouldn't know.. Exactly. no but i have been in a public area having sex with other people fully clothed around me,,i wasnt concerned or judgmental about it, niether was i concerned about being 'wanking material'..it wasnt my concern i was in public, that was my deal... but obviously you have an urge to express these distressing feelings of outrage, may they pass quickly and you find your inner peace again soon... much love x" Quite simply I abide by the rules of the club I'm in, and if I don't like the rules I don't go. The original post was about people not dressing down in a dress down club. When you've been to a dress down club maybe you can comment from experience. | |||
"It's really quite simple. Follow the rules of the club and if you don't like the rules find another club. If people deliberately flout the rules ask them politely to leave and if they don't ask the management to remove them." Exactly From our limited experience we would not be comfortable with clothed watchers, no problem with watchers when we are all on same level of openness. Each to their own but obviously if a club has a rule it is also for the enjoyment of the members and should be respected. | |||
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"This is often something that crops up at Abfab/ Kestrels.... on the whole most are happy in any state of undress but many do feel uncomfortable in the pool area when fully clothed people wander around leering or standing poolside fully clothed just watching. There are no 'rules', we just kind of accept thats how those wish to enjoy themselves... one or two also use the pool wearing swimwear.... their choice the evenings are 'Clothing Optional' afterall." I quite like it at abfab when I am the only naked one ina room full of clothed people - they dont stay clothed for long | |||
"Again for a little clarity, we are not talking about having sex in public view, and yes if we want to have sex in private we would be in a private room etc. This is not about "performing" while people watch, this is about fundemental club rules, i.e. if there is a dress down area, then shouldn't people dress down or simply not enter that area? no one is forcing them to dress down at set times or on entry in the club we experienced this at most recently. However there are specific areas that the rules say " dress down / sexy / skimpy etc. " in those areas! So without dismissing all the other views as we are keen to hear all... Is it not as siimple as previously said, if you don't want/like/feel comfortable dressing down, don't go in the dress down areas fully dressed and make those who are dressed down feel uncomfortable due to your ignoring that clubs rules? It does seem like a part of the view is " do what YOU like" regardless of rules or other club goers comfort? Or as previously asked are we just a little over sensative on rules?? " I think that the rules should be followed, but it has been mentioned a few times about clothed people staring at naked others. I think anyone just standing staring at people naked or otherwise tends to make you uncomfortable regardless of whether they are clothed or not. | |||
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"What are peoples thoughts on people staying pretty much fully dressed when walking around then"dress down" areas of clubs? We have twice been in a club where people are walking around the play areas and wet areas fully clothed or in the pool or jacuzzi in swimwear etc.. We know some people our shy but we find it very off putting to be naked while fully clothed people walk around looking at others like its a form of viewing gallery!! Just wondered what others thoughts or feelings were... ?? " Last time we were in quest and weRe having a mutual play with each other in the cinema room, there was one guy in t shirt and shorts who was there. .. even after the mrs being played with and playing with 4 guys the one thing she remembered was the guy who was clothed but watching... said it kind of freaked her out thst he was clothed. | |||
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"What are peoples thoughts on people staying pretty much fully dressed when walking around then"dress down" areas of clubs?" If you think that's bad, imagine how it is at somewhere like a certain Naturist club in the South East, where, despite "Naturist" being in the title, and naughtiness being the norm there, there are still plenty of people wandering around all the naked sunbathers and frolickers, fully clothed and with no intention of stripping down unless it's to take part in the frolicks. | |||
