FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Is there a good solution
Is there a good solution
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
to the problem of badly behaved single guys in clubs.
I wrote a club review the other day about my recent trip to Eureka which seems to have stirred up a hornets nest or comments.
The things is, how do you teach a grown man that you can't behave the way I described in the review eg. You can't just paw every female walks past, you can't just barge into a couples room uninvited and get ya dick out.
Some clubs have gone down the route of limiting single males other charge them substantially above the odds, others have staff to keep them in order, when really what it requires is a bit of respect and manners.
What would your solution be? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It should be self policing amongst single males in my opinion, I go to clubs alone, I behave properly and respectfully, but I've seen shocking behaviour from single guys towards couples, I've helped a guy get rid of an undesirable. It's an embarrassment seeing some of these desperadoes in action, couples can only report them to the club, or enlist the help of a known guy, although that can lead to an issue arising, it's a tricky problem which could lead to single guys being barred from clubs altogether, shame. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
As above, complain and have them chucked out.
As long as the same rule applies to women and couples who don't behave.
Yes, men can be a pest but it's not just men. Yet it's always the men singled out for criticism.
It's a wonder any single men go to clubs given the way some people regard them.
If single men are a problem, maybe stick to clubs just on couples only nights? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As above, complain and have them chucked out.
As long as the same rule applies to women and couples who don't behave.
Yes, men can be a pest but it's not just men. Yet it's always the men singled out for criticism.
It's a wonder any single men go to clubs given the way some people regard them.
If single men are a problem, maybe stick to clubs just on couples only nights?"
 I have actually seen more problems with d*unken woman at clubs than single males.
Don't like single males as said above stick to couples only which I think should mean couples only so no single fems. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It shouldn't be too difficult. All it needs is for clubs to: 1. make the required standard of behaviour absolutely crystal clear to all everyone, on joining and then repeatedly afterwards; 2. to encourage everyone to complain if anyone behaves badly; 3. to throw out any offenders.
I'm sure this happens in most cases. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Punch in the face.... He's already assaulted you so it's self defense... 
In reality though a hard loud slap in the face will draw attention to him and probably lots of support. "
A number of years ago I made the mistake of leaving Mrs J alone in the sauna for a minute whilst I went to the loo.
In my absence a guy who pretty much was a body double for Jabba the Hut cornered her in the sauna. He wasn't taking a polite "no" or even a "fuck off" for an answer.
Luckily I returned before anything much happened.
Since then I have been involved in a few incidents at clubs where pushy guys will not back off. It has always stopped short of me having to resort to violence but on one occasion not by much.
Pushy single guys are the single most unappealing factor about visiting clubs by a country mile. It can basically ruin the mood for a good evening.
Sadly I cannot think of any way of avoiding this behaviour short of banning single guys which we personally would not want.
Complaining to staff afterwards is pointless. The evening is already ruined. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"As above, complain and have them chucked out.
As long as the same rule applies to women and couples who don't behave.
Yes, men can be a pest but it's not just men. Yet it's always the men singled out for criticism.
It's a wonder any single men go to clubs given the way some people regard them.
If single men are a problem, maybe stick to clubs just on couples only nights?
I have actually seen more problems with d*unken woman at clubs than single males.
Don't like single males as said above stick to couples only which I think should mean couples only so no single fems. "
I like men in clubs so I won't go to a club as a single woman on couples only nights anyway.
I've tried it a couple of times and didn't like it. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
Charging more affects the quantity more than the quality. It's not like poor people can't behave and rich people can. There should be compulsory training, maybe CRB / DBS checks, some kind of licensing scheme with a little photo ID card, make them wear a uniform, what do you think? Too much? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As above, complain and have them chucked out.
As long as the same rule applies to women and couples who don't behave.
Yes, men can be a pest but it's not just men. Yet it's always the men singled out for criticism.
It's a wonder any single men go to clubs given the way some people regard them.
If single men are a problem, maybe stick to clubs just on couples only nights?
I have actually seen more problems with d*unken woman at clubs than single males.
Don't like single males as said above stick to couples only which I think should mean couples only so no single fems.
I like men in clubs so I won't go to a club as a single woman on couples only nights anyway.
I've tried it a couple of times and didn't like it."
I like single men in clubs as well  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Keep them locked in a cage and let out when picked. (Some may quite enjoy that)
Or just throw them out if they misbehave. It's up to people to report it though. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Keep them locked in a cage and let out when picked. (Some may quite enjoy that)
Or just throw them out if they misbehave. It's up to people to report it though."
Love this idea! |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Keep them locked in a cage and let out when picked. (Some may quite enjoy that)
Or just throw them out if they misbehave. It's up to people to report it though."
Sit them on a little conveyor belt that goes round and round like with sushi. They're only allowed off when invited to play |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Keep them locked in a cage and let out when picked. (Some may quite enjoy that)
Or just throw them out if they misbehave. It's up to people to report it though.
Sit them on a little conveyor belt that goes round and round like with sushi. They're only allowed off when invited to play "
Oh and they can't refuse otherwise they get chucked out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Punch in the face.... He's already assaulted you so it's self defense...
In reality though a hard loud slap in the face will draw attention to him and probably lots of support. "
This - a good hard slap whilst yelling really loudly " I SAID NO!!!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On our first ever club visit a guy was told several times to stay away from jen but kept coming back. And then after trying grab her again he shoved his finger in her ass. We complained and he got thrown out but jen was already pissed off and it ruined our night. We asked for our money back but they said no.
We do like meeting single guys but it's infruiating when they try and touch and follow you everywhere.
I regret not asking the club for his details as it was sexual assault . Might make him think twice about it next time.
Was is the policy of clubs if a guy touches a woman and wasn't given permission would they give out that persons details so you could make a police complaint ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"to the problem of badly behaved single guys in clubs.
I wrote a club review the other day about my recent trip to Eureka which seems to have stirred up a hornets nest or comments.
The things is, how do you teach a grown man that you can't behave the way I described in the review eg. You can't just paw every female walks past, you can't just barge into a couples room uninvited and get ya dick out.
Some clubs have gone down the route of limiting single males other charge them substantially above the odds, others have staff to keep them in order, when really what it requires is a bit of respect and manners.
What would your solution be? "
I have to say the only time we've been to Eiureaka's on an evening we were unimpressed by the behavious of quite a few of the singlemen. But from the reviws it get;s assumed we just went on a bad night.
We've been on a daytime and had no problems though and thoroughly enjoy it |
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in 10 years we have only had 2 minor incidents with single guys and we only go on mixed nights so we have been lucky I guess. As someone else has stated we have seen more incidents with ladies, especially d*unk ones that have put a downer on the evening. Upping the price is not the answer, same as restricting ages it is not usually the young guys that are the issue. I think the only way to avoid it is to go on couples only nights and if you do have a problem report it and hope the club ban them. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Keep them locked in a cage and let out when picked. (Some may quite enjoy that)
Or just throw them out if they misbehave. It's up to people to report it though.
Sit them on a little conveyor belt that goes round and round like with sushi. They're only allowed off when invited to play
Oh and they can't refuse otherwise they get chucked out "
Quite right
Perhaps they could be kept out back and we could order them from a menu, by number, like at a Chinese takeaway.
I'll have number 12 and number 35, a bag of prawn crackers and a couple of sweet and sour spring roles. |
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"As above, complain and have them chucked out.
As long as the same rule applies to women and couples who don't behave.
Yes, men can be a pest but it's not just men. Yet it's always the men singled out for criticism.
It's a wonder any single men go to clubs given the way some people regard them.
If single men are a problem, maybe stick to clubs just on couples only nights?"
|
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"On our first ever club visit a guy was told several times to stay away from jen but kept coming back. And then after trying grab her again he shoved his finger in her ass. We complained and he got thrown out but jen was already pissed off and it ruined our night. We asked for our money back but they said no.
We do like meeting single guys but it's infruiating when they try and touch and follow you everywhere.
I regret not asking the club for his details as it was sexual assault . Might make him think twice about it next time.
Was is the policy of clubs if a guy touches a woman and wasn't given permission would they give out that persons details so you could make a police complaint ?"
I'd ask the club to call the police then and there, and hold the man until they arrived.
Sexual assault should not be tolerated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Keep them locked in a cage and let out when picked. (Some may quite enjoy that)
Or just throw them out if they misbehave. It's up to people to report it though.
Sit them on a little conveyor belt that goes round and round like with sushi. They're only allowed off when invited to play
Oh and they can't refuse otherwise they get chucked out
Quite right
Perhaps they could be kept out back and we could order them from a menu, by number, like at a Chinese takeaway.
I'll have number 12 and number 35, a bag of prawn crackers and a couple of sweet and sour spring roles. "
First thing that popped into my head in reading that was can I have a one hung low please  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Education for ALL club attendees. It's not just single guys, it's women and couples too.
Attendees should all be informed of club etiquette- what's ok and what's not ok- when they arrive. Even if they are regulars. Some regular club goers seem to think they are immune to any rules.
Too many people (not just men!!) think people are there to touch, fondle, whatever the heck they like, without asking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On our first ever club visit a guy was told several times to stay away from jen but kept coming back. And then after trying grab her again he shoved his finger in her ass. We complained and he got thrown out but jen was already pissed off and it ruined our night. We asked for our money back but they said no.
We do like meeting single guys but it's infruiating when they try and touch and follow you everywhere.
I regret not asking the club for his details as it was sexual assault . Might make him think twice about it next time.
Was is the policy of clubs if a guy touches a woman and wasn't given permission would they give out that persons details so you could make a police complaint ?
I'd ask the club to call the police then and there, and hold the man until they arrived.
Sexual assault should not be tolerated."
If a guy did that in a pub ......!!! Why do people think it's ok to do it in a swinger's club!?!?!?!? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
The next time I'm involved in an incident like I describe I will be violent regardless of the consequences.
I'm getting pretty pissed off with single guys with no manners. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"On our first ever club visit a guy was told several times to stay away from jen but kept coming back. And then after trying grab her again he shoved his finger in her ass. We complained and he got thrown out but jen was already pissed off and it ruined our night. We asked for our money back but they said no.
We do like meeting single guys but it's infruiating when they try and touch and follow you everywhere.
I regret not asking the club for his details as it was sexual assault . Might make him think twice about it next time.
Was is the policy of clubs if a guy touches a woman and wasn't given permission would they give out that persons details so you could make a police complaint ?
I'd ask the club to call the police then and there, and hold the man until they arrived.
Sexual assault should not be tolerated.
If a guy did that in a pub ......!!! Why do people think it's ok to do it in a swinger's club!?!?!?!? "
They all have Etiquette policies on the website but really need it in BIG LETTERS on a sandwich board as you enter! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"On our first ever club visit a guy was told several times to stay away from jen but kept coming back. And then after trying grab her again he shoved his finger in her ass. We complained and he got thrown out but jen was already pissed off and it ruined our night. We asked for our money back but they said no.
We do like meeting single guys but it's infruiating when they try and touch and follow you everywhere.
I regret not asking the club for his details as it was sexual assault . Might make him think twice about it next time.
Was is the policy of clubs if a guy touches a woman and wasn't given permission would they give out that persons details so you could make a police complaint ?
I'd ask the club to call the police then and there, and hold the man until they arrived.
Sexual assault should not be tolerated.
If a guy did that in a pub ......!!! Why do people think it's ok to do it in a swinger's club!?!?!?!? "
Lol ask any of your male friend just how often their arse has been groped/pinched etc on a night out by women. Then ask how many of those women got thrown out. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"The next time I'm involved in an incident like I describe I will be violent regardless of the consequences.
I'm getting pretty pissed off with single guys with no manners."
I don't think escalating the situation with violence is appropriate, personally. Unless you need to actually physically defend yourself from harm, resorting to violence puts you equally in the wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"to the problem of badly behaved single guys in clubs.
I wrote a club review the other day about my recent trip to Eureka which seems to have stirred up a hornets nest or comments.
The things is, how do you teach a grown man that you can't behave the way I described in the review eg. You can't just paw every female walks past, you can't just barge into a couples room uninvited and get ya dick out.
Some clubs have gone down the route of limiting single males other charge them substantially above the odds, others have staff to keep them in order, when really what it requires is a bit of respect and manners.
What would your solution be? "
Unfortunately I think the solution to that problem lies in the upbringing of the said individuals and is not something they're gonna learn now, however it's not limited to single men,those with partners can be just as bad,male or female..
Having never been in a swing club I wouldn't be versed personally in the etiquette expected from me,I would assume it works like everything else in life and you can't just paw what you want..
It all comes down to manners,I'm struggling even on here to broach the subject of playing with those I like as it just seems rude nevermind just acting on it.. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"to the problem of badly behaved single guys in clubs.
I wrote a club review the other day about my recent trip to Eureka which seems to have stirred up a hornets nest or comments.
The things is, how do you teach a grown man that you can't behave the way I described in the review eg. You can't just paw every female walks past, you can't just barge into a couples room uninvited and get ya dick out.
Some clubs have gone down the route of limiting single males other charge them substantially above the odds, others have staff to keep them in order, when really what it requires is a bit of respect and manners.
What would your solution be?
Unfortunately I think the solution to that problem lies in the upbringing of the said individuals and is not something they're gonna learn now, however it's not limited to single men,those with partners can be just as bad,male or female..
Having never been in a swing club I wouldn't be versed personally in the etiquette expected from me,I would assume it works like everything else in life and you can't just paw what you want..
It all comes down to manners,I'm struggling even on here to broach the subject of playing with those I like as it just seems rude nevermind just acting on it.."
The rules are mostly common sense and common decency.
No means no
No touching without permission
Clean up any mess you make
That sort of thing |
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"If a guy did that in a pub ......!!! Why do people think it's ok to do it in a swinger's club!?!?!?!? "
That's the entire point!
Other than the obvious consensual fornication why would anyone behave differently in a club than if they were in the pub, at work or at home?
Being a shy and retiring type if I get the 'brush off' I'm more likely to try and avoid the other party entirely than follow them around. |
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By *gNeMan
over a year ago
Harrogate |
"The next time I'm involved in an incident like I describe I will be violent regardless of the consequences.
I'm getting pretty pissed off with single guys with no manners."
Violence begets violence.
The very nature of what you are doing will invite that kind of behaviour amongst those lacking restraint or often intelligence.
Its a case of calculated risk. If the negatives start to outway the benefits then the decision is simple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not been to a club yet that allows single guys in but when we do, if anyone touches S without permission they'll be getting a taxi home in an ambulance. "
I'd love to be in a club with a man that resorts to violence so quickly. It would make for such a safe environment  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not been to a club yet that allows single guys in but when we do, if anyone touches S without permission they'll be getting a taxi home in an ambulance. "
So your saying as a 6'2" man you'd beat a woman to the point she needed an ambulance?
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By *gNeMan
over a year ago
Harrogate |
"Not been to a club yet that allows single guys in but when we do, if anyone touches S without permission they'll be getting a taxi home in an ambulance.
So your saying as a 6'2" man you'd beat a woman to the point she needed an ambulance?
"
Haha exactly!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not been to a club yet that allows single guys in but when we do, if anyone touches S without permission they'll be getting a taxi home in an ambulance.
I'd love to be in a club with a man that resorts to violence so quickly. It would make for such a safe environment "
I wonder if the idiots saying they'd resort to violence realise that they are just as stupid as the guys they are slagging off! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not been to a club yet that allows single guys in but when we do, if anyone touches S without permission they'll be getting a taxi home in an ambulance.
I'd love to be in a club with a man that resorts to violence so quickly. It would make for such a safe environment
I wonder if the idiots saying they'd resort to violence realise that they are just as stupid as the guys they are slagging off! "
I certainly will not condone violence but where polite requests to someone to "please stop sexually assaulting my wife" are simply ignored what would you suggest?
Sit quietly in a corner watching and waiting till the police arrive?
I have pulled a guy off physically. It was ONLY at this point that he understood but if he hadn't calmed down who knows what would have happened next. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No one is going to just take a swing at someone, you're going to give a warning or two  . After that....you're more likely to pin them to a wall and give a few choice words IF the staff won't deal with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No one is going to just take a swing at someone, you're going to give a warning or two . After that....you're more likely to pin them to a wall and give a few choice words IF the staff won't deal with it."
For sure it is a thin line sometimes. I just wish everyone at these places could behave like proper grown ups. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It maybe the idea that everyone in a swinger club is up for it that gives certain people the idea that you can do as you please."
Yes I think you are correct. Just in the same way that too many guys think Fab operates like an Escort site - you see something you like, book a time slot & put in an order.
That's why they give you stroppy messages when they get told no. |
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"It maybe the idea that everyone in a swinger club is up for it that gives certain people the idea that you can do as you please.
Yes I think you are correct. Just in the same way that too many guys think Fab operates like an Escort site - you see something you like, book a time slot & put in an order.
That's why they give you stroppy messages when they get told no."
this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It maybe the idea that everyone in a swinger club is up for it that gives certain people the idea that you can do as you please.
Yes I think you are correct. Just in the same way that too many guys think Fab operates like an Escort site - you see something you like, book a time slot & put in an order.
That's why they give you stroppy messages when they get told no."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I've never been to a UK club and from what I hear it's not something I'd likely do as a single male, simply because of the stigma already attached, I have however been to quite a few German ones, the first by complete accident with a couple of mates (german taxi driver humour I guess). And that was probably one of the best nights of my life. On getting in we were charged an extortionate amount 200DM and then taken to a locker room, the lass from the desk told us in broken English, sex club, don't touch, don't be rude, trouble and out. We behaved and ended up separated in no time. So if a little German lass can explain the score to 3 newbies then why can't the clubs here have a simple way of explaining at the door what is acceptable and what won't be tolerated. Personally if someone were to randomly paw at my companion I'd be likely to paw back right between the eyes.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never had any real issues with single guys in clubs, reading through this thread seems most either have a low opinion of them or want them treated like animals! Just wrong!
We find the majority of guys we meet are respectful and well behaved if you engage with them and treat them like human beings, just like couples and single fems, so many people here think they are on a high footing because they are a couple or a single Fem, maybe people should look at there attitude.
Many clubs especially without liquer licences (where we host does have licence) rely on men attending the club to keep going, and if men got a better experience they may come back and become regulars and friends, we have lots of guys we consider friends many we haven't played with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It maybe the idea that everyone in a swinger club is up for it that gives certain people the idea that you can do as you please.
Yes I think you are correct. Just in the same way that too many guys think Fab operates like an Escort site - you see something you like, book a time slot & put in an order.
That's why they give you stroppy messages when they get told no."
Agree.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never had any real issues with single guys in clubs, reading through this thread seems most either have a low opinion of them or want them treated like animals! Just wrong!
We find the majority of guys we meet are respectful and well behaved if you engage with them and treat them like human beings, just like couples and single fems, so many people here think they are on a high footing because they are a couple or a single Fem, maybe people should look at there attitude.
Many clubs especially without liquer licences (where we host does have licence) rely on men attending the club to keep going, and if men got a better experience they may come back and become regulars and friends, we have lots of guys we consider friends many we haven't played with"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Keep them locked in a cage and let out when picked. (Some may quite enjoy that)
Or just throw them out if they misbehave. It's up to people to report it though.
Sit them on a little conveyor belt that goes round and round like with sushi. They're only allowed off when invited to play "
I love they idea!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Keep them locked in a cage and let out when picked. (Some may quite enjoy that)
Or just throw them out if they misbehave. It's up to people to report it though.
Sit them on a little conveyor belt that goes round and round like with sushi. They're only allowed off when invited to play
I love they idea!!"
Knowing our luck we would get there late and a little sad piece of stringy meat will be going round and round getting more wrinkled by the minute. |
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As a couple who at times welcome an extra well behaved sgl m we find the problem is the guys who stalk the play areas looking opportunistic meeting. Those who see any cpl playing MMF will immediately either increase that to MMMF or alternately will look for another guy after the original guest has "finished". We've been to a couple of clubs in the USA where they only allow accompanied single M into the play areas. No lurking, no following, no under towel tuggers. It works really well. |
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