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Couples in Clubs
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I wanted to attend a club party but was refused entry. Upon arrival I was asked are u signing in as couple, which I reply yes. But then to be followed with are yous in a relationship? Being me I told the truth n said no.
Of all places, I thought clubs are one of the few places I can let my hair down, be me n not tell porkies!
So what is classed as 'couples' wen going to a club? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"2 people together, normally 1 male and 1 Female"
Nope I was asked are u in a relationship. I was honest n said no just friends. Was told couples must be in a proper relationship to be classed as couple. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"their club, their rules...
Unwritten rules cos its not on website or forums etc
but they told you at the door  was it a couples only night"
Nope...party night. But they limited it to certain number of sgl gents.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to agree with the club on this one. If they are trying to limit numbers and allow a certain amount of x y or z then they will have to monitor entrance rules and those that are trying to get around them.
Would you have been allowed to enter separately? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
I can sort of see their point
You go off and do your thing because most love a single woman
He goes off and tries to do his thing and all the couples get pissed off because he a lone male on the rampage  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thy may have assumed you was acting as couple and once inside you both did your own thing. If they had a limit on single guys for the night especially, they could have had reservations about that.
It seems a little petty but just playing devils advocate here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Most clubs love single woman .... so I find this strange and can only think it was a couples only night . Was it? was there single men there.?"
Was party night...couples, sgl ladies n sgl gents however limited to small number of sgl gents n they had to be member. No newbies  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"their club, their rules...
Unwritten rules cos its not on website or forums etc
but they told you at the door was it a couples only night
Nope...party night. But they limited it to certain number of sgl gents. "
They were probably concerned that as fuckbuddies (not saying that's what you and your friend are) you'd separate, do your own thing once in there, and he'd add to the tally of single blokes harrasing couples/women
S x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I tend to agree with the club on this one. If they are trying to limit numbers and allow a certain amount of x y or z then they will have to monitor entrance rules and those that are trying to get around them.
Would you have been allowed to enter separately? "
Only limited numbers on 'sgl gents' it was 10pm...just starting to get busy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Iam assuming they would of had no problem excepting you as a single female but your friend as a single male would most likely been refused entery they most likely assumed that you would go your separate ways once in the club but even as a couple in a relationship that would also be very possible so only other thing is was a money thing get more from singles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One club I know of has a rule that you have to be a couple on FAB. Don't know how this stands if you are not on FAB as I've never been back. Their club. Their rules. Vote with your feet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"2 people together, normally 1 male and 1 Female
Nope I was asked are u in a relationship. I was honest n said no just friends. Was told couples must be in a proper relationship to be classed as couple."
What's a 'proper relationship'?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tend to agree with the club on this one. If they are trying to limit numbers and allow a certain amount of x y or z then they will have to monitor entrance rules and those that are trying to get around them.
Would you have been allowed to enter separately?
Only limited numbers on 'sgl gents' it was 10pm...just starting to get busy "
So you could have gone in but your friend due to club rules. I really don't see why they are in the wrong. I can understand your dissatisfaction and frustration, but as you say they had a limit on single guys and they had to be a member and as such your friend was turned away.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can sort of see their point
You go off and do your thing because most love a single woman
He goes off and tries to do his thing and all the couples get pissed off because he a lone male on the rampage "
Hes never been to a club before. I wouldnt leave his side nor he leave mine. Was purely to introduce him to the club scene cos Ive been going for a while to other clubs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"One club I know of has a rule that you have to be a couple on FAB. Don't know how this stands if you are not on FAB as I've never been back. Their club. Their rules. Vote with your feet."
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"2 people together, normally 1 male and 1 Female
Nope I was asked are u in a relationship. I was honest n said no just friends. Was told couples must be in a proper relationship to be classed as couple.
What's a 'proper relationship'?
"
Nagging and bickering 
OP, as someone said, their party, their rules. However its your money so in the future, if I were you, I'd spend it somewhere more welcoming and less rules lawyer-y. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"One club I know of has a rule that you have to be a couple on FAB. Don't know how this stands if you are not on FAB as I've never been back. Their club. Their rules. Vote with your feet."
I respect thats their club rules n it is still a great club. Just one of them things  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I tend to agree with the club on this one. If they are trying to limit numbers and allow a certain amount of x y or z then they will have to monitor entrance rules and those that are trying to get around them.
Would you have been allowed to enter separately?
Only limited numbers on 'sgl gents' it was 10pm...just starting to get busy
So you could have gone in but your friend due to club rules. I really don't see why they are in the wrong. I can understand your dissatisfaction and frustration, but as you say they had a limit on single guys and they had to be a member and as such your friend was turned away.
"
Didnt say it was wrong...just want to check what stipulates as a couple in clubs? All others Ive been to Ive never been asked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"I can sort of see their point
You go off and do your thing because most love a single woman
He goes off and tries to do his thing and all the couples get pissed off because he a lone male on the rampage
Hes never been to a club before. I wouldnt leave his side nor he leave mine. Was purely to introduce him to the club scene cos Ive been going for a while to other clubs. "
Maybe phone ahead next time you go to a club and see if its ok for you to book in as a couple
I have been in clubs where men have gone in as part of a 'couple' on couples nights but then gone off and been a nuisance on their own,ive also seen men in real couples do the same so i'm not sure why the club was so strict with you both
Always best to check ahead
|
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"I can sort of see their point
You go off and do your thing because most love a single woman
He goes off and tries to do his thing and all the couples get pissed off because he a lone male on the rampage
Hes never been to a club before. I wouldnt leave his side nor he leave mine. Was purely to introduce him to the club scene cos Ive been going for a while to other clubs.
Maybe phone ahead next time you go to a club and see if its ok for you to book in as a couple
I have been in clubs where men have gone in as part of a 'couple' on couples nights but then gone off and been a nuisance on their own,ive also seen men in real couples do the same so i'm not sure why the club was so strict with you both
Always best to check ahead
"
I've been in a club where I got repeatedly harassed then finally groped by the male half of a couple whilst his other half was standing right next to him. When I retaliated and gave him an earful she gave me grief for having a go at her husband!
Some fb couples have more courtesy than some married couples. |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"I wanted to attend a club party but was refused entry. Upon arrival I was asked are u signing in as couple, which I reply yes. But then to be followed with are yous in a relationship? Being me I told the truth n said no.
Of all places, I thought clubs are one of the few places I can let my hair down, be me n not tell porkies!
So what is classed as 'couples' wen going to a club? "
Different clubs have different rules
At one London club, where the owners know me over the last few years and know that I am single, refused to permit me to take out a couples membership with a guy I have met 3 or 4 times before
Another club, on the outskirts of London, where the owners know me and my 'single status' equally well, allowed the same guy to join me as a couple
I do not 'couple up' with single guys, but before I accept to make an exception, I first check with the club
Like someone else said, "their club, their rules" |
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By *at-cWoman
over a year ago
Ballyshannon |
"
I've been in a club where I got repeatedly harassed then finally groped by the male half of a couple whilst his other half was standing right next to him. When I retaliated and gave him an earful she gave me grief for having a go at her husband!
Some fb couples have more courtesy than some married couples."
Some of the worst behaviour I have experienced has been from the male half of 'proper' couples. It's rare but still, if I was to name my top three unpleasant moments it would be as a result of married men who would be classed as extremely badly behaved single men but for the presence of a woman by their side. This may be as a result of the fact I mainly attend private parties, the single males are heavily vetted for these and it pays. Probably the reason I don't attend events single males are excluded from.
I don't see a problem with regular fuck buddies attending as a couple, but I do think the single males have cause for complaint if they get charged so highly and another single male gets a cheaper entrance because he partners up for the night. |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
" and he'd add to the tally of single blokes harrasing couples/women
S x"
Slightly off topic but this is exactly what puts us off attending clubs. We don't want to play the first couple of times we go, we just want to take in the scene and then decide, don't want any hassle whilst doing this. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
" and he'd add to the tally of single blokes harrasing couples/women
S x
Slightly off topic but this is exactly what puts us off attending clubs. We don't want to play the first couple of times we go, we just want to take in the scene and then decide, don't want any hassle whilst doing this. "
Don't take other peoples experiences as the only experience. I've been to many many clubs and have only been harassed in one, and that was when I was with a male mate (not a 'couple' ). At most clubs the single males are considerate and polite. They need to be - it takes the poor buggers so much effort to even be allowed into clubs they don't want to jeopardise that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"2 people together, normally 1 male and 1 Female
Nope I was asked are u in a relationship. I was honest n said no just friends. Was told couples must be in a proper relationship to be classed as couple.
What's a 'proper relationship'?
Nagging and bickering
OP, as someone said, their party, their rules. However its your money so in the future, if I were you, I'd spend it somewhere more welcoming and less rules lawyer-y."
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"2 people together, normally 1 male and 1 Female
Nope I was asked are u in a relationship. I was honest n said no just friends. Was told couples must be in a proper relationship to be classed as couple.
What's a 'proper relationship'?
"
As defined in the Bible; as in, the Catholic Bible  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can sort of see their point
You go off and do your thing because most love a single woman
He goes off and tries to do his thing and all the couples get pissed off because he a lone male on the rampage
Hes never been to a club before. I wouldnt leave his side nor he leave mine. Was purely to introduce him to the club scene cos Ive been going for a while to other clubs.
Maybe phone ahead next time you go to a club and see if its ok for you to book in as a couple
I have been in clubs where men have gone in as part of a 'couple' on couples nights but then gone off and been a nuisance on their own,ive also seen men in real couples do the same so i'm not sure why the club was so strict with you both
Always best to check ahead
"
Good idea, I normally do but sometimes there is that 1 time wen u dont n go on spur of the moment...never mind |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can sort of see their point
You go off and do your thing because most love a single woman
He goes off and tries to do his thing and all the couples get pissed off because he a lone male on the rampage
Hes never been to a club before. I wouldnt leave his side nor he leave mine. Was purely to introduce him to the club scene cos Ive been going for a while to other clubs.
Maybe phone ahead next time you go to a club and see if its ok for you to book in as a couple
I have been in clubs where men have gone in as part of a 'couple' on couples nights but then gone off and been a nuisance on their own,ive also seen men in real couples do the same so i'm not sure why the club was so strict with you both
Always best to check ahead
I've been in a club where I got repeatedly harassed then finally groped by the male half of a couple whilst his other half was standing right next to him. When I retaliated and gave him an earful she gave me grief for having a go at her husband!
Some fb couples have more courtesy than some married couples."
Unfortunately its a case of prejudging newbies on entry n on this occasion I 'couldve' been refused based on 2 sgls acting as cpl n thinking we're gonna do our own thing. It is the most common assumption but still prejudging our incentive. |
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Not great response from club. Yes I agree their club, their rules. But if rules weren't clear, etc...
I've only been to couple of clubs but never got asked that. Did they ask other couples same question n??? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" and he'd add to the tally of single blokes harrasing couples/women
S x
Slightly off topic but this is exactly what puts us off attending clubs. We don't want to play the first couple of times we go, we just want to take in the scene and then decide, don't want any hassle whilst doing this. "
This was my intention. My friend was sooo nervous bless him. After talking loads, wen he was ready to take that step, I would honour my promise Ill stay with him, we'll just use the experience as a social to ease him in. But its now put him off even more  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not great response from club. Yes I agree their club, their rules. But if rules weren't clear, etc...
I've only been to couple of clubs but never got asked that. Did they ask other couples same question n???"
Didnt stay long enough...already felt embarassed  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most clubs have rules some printed and others make them up on the "go". It is your choice and your money - so very simple go to a different club where couples (m/f f/f m/m) are welcome and as long as you don't cause problems you can go in... There are many liberal minded clubs who don't make a fuss nor ask for membership fees |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"2 people together, normally 1 male and 1 Female
Nope I was asked are u in a relationship. I was honest n said no just friends. Was told couples must be in a proper relationship to be classed as couple."
I have never had that before I have been to clubs many times with men and not even been asked
How do you define a proper relationship do you have to have the same address? Would a couple who have been together for a few years but didn't live together be refused entry and told they are not a proper couple? Do you have to be married? Seems a bit odd to me, who decides what a proper couple is? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"2 people together, normally 1 male and 1 Female
Nope I was asked are u in a relationship. I was honest n said no just friends. Was told couples must be in a proper relationship to be classed as couple.
I have never had that before I have been to clubs many times with men and not even been asked
How do you define a proper relationship do you have to have the same address? Would a couple who have been together for a few years but didn't live together be refused entry and told they are not a proper couple? Do you have to be married? Seems a bit odd to me, who decides what a proper couple is?"
Me too....been to a few clubs never asked except this one AND it wasnt a couples night.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"2 people together, normally 1 male and 1 Female
Nope I was asked are u in a relationship. I was honest n said no just friends. Was told couples must be in a proper relationship to be classed as couple.
I have never had that before I have been to clubs many times with men and not even been asked
How do you define a proper relationship do you have to have the same address? Would a couple who have been together for a few years but didn't live together be refused entry and told they are not a proper couple? Do you have to be married? Seems a bit odd to me, who decides what a proper couple is?
Me too....been to a few clubs never asked except this one AND it wasnt a couples night. "
So they let single men and women in but if your not in a relationship you can't go in as a couple?
Sorry but that's a money thing, can't think of any other reason, they make more money if single guys go in alone and not as a couple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dunno what relevance it is.
But saw a guy on here recently asking for if any fems outthere want to go with him to a club so he can get into a couple's night.
Personally as a couple looking for couples we would be well pissed off if we started playing with a couple only to find out they don't even know each other.
Maybe we don't fully understand the scene?
Is it normal for people to pretend to be together to get into clubs?
Op, don't mean you btw |
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"2 people together, normally 1 male and 1 Female
Nope I was asked are u in a relationship. I was honest n said no just friends. Was told couples must be in a proper relationship to be classed as couple.
I have never had that before I have been to clubs many times with men and not even been asked
How do you define a proper relationship do you have to have the same address? Would a couple who have been together for a few years but didn't live together be refused entry and told they are not a proper couple? Do you have to be married? Seems a bit odd to me, who decides what a proper couple is?
Me too....been to a few clubs never asked except this one AND it wasnt a couples night. "
That why I dont go to that one hun!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dunno what relevance it is.
But saw a guy on here recently asking for if any fems outthere want to go with him to a club so he can get into a couple's night.
Personally as a couple looking for couples we would be well pissed off if we started playing with a couple only to find out they don't even know each other.
Maybe we don't fully understand the scene?
Is it normal for people to pretend to be together to get into clubs?
Op, don't mean you btw "
Communication is the key
I've had this once when I went to a club with a friend, we were playing in a room and a couple go on the bed and joined in, after we was chatting over a drink and they asked how long we had been together and we said we was only friends and she flipped, saying they didn't play with fuck buddies etc, well I didn't ask them to come join in and they sure as hell didn't care while I was sucking his cock if we were a real couple or not, if people are that bothered sit and have a chat before playing communication goes a long way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"2 people together, normally 1 male and 1 Female
Nope I was asked are u in a relationship. I was honest n said no just friends. Was told couples must be in a proper relationship to be classed as couple.
I have never had that before I have been to clubs many times with men and not even been asked
How do you define a proper relationship do you have to have the same address? Would a couple who have been together for a few years but didn't live together be refused entry and told they are not a proper couple? Do you have to be married? Seems a bit odd to me, who decides what a proper couple is?
Me too....been to a few clubs never asked except this one AND it wasnt a couples night.
So they let single men and women in but if your not in a relationship you can't go in as a couple?
Sorry but that's a money thing, can't think of any other reason, they make more money if single guys go in alone and not as a couple "
I'm not sure whether it is about money. Ive been there as a single and was made to feel v uncomfortable as other ladies were.
Ive no issue playing with FB couples as long as it feels right. Some are more respectful than traditional couples. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"2 people together, normally 1 male and 1 Female
Nope I was asked are u in a relationship. I was honest n said no just friends. Was told couples must be in a proper relationship to be classed as couple.
I have never had that before I have been to clubs many times with men and not even been asked
How do you define a proper relationship do you have to have the same address? Would a couple who have been together for a few years but didn't live together be refused entry and told they are not a proper couple? Do you have to be married? Seems a bit odd to me, who decides what a proper couple is?
Me too....been to a few clubs never asked except this one AND it wasnt a couples night.
That why I dont go to that one hun!!!! "
Lesson learnt hun! Sticking to my 2 favs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was under the impression that swingers clubs provide an atmosphere n safe haven for like minded ppl?!? Is this not the case? Whether we are hubby/wife, gf/bf, fbs, fwbs or EVEN need a 'safe place' to meet for their first time meet....that we should not be under the judgement that we 'may stray', money incentive or just dont fit. All clubs have their rules n they are there to be respected but isnt it the job of staff to maintain the etiquette once inside? For newbies...this can be daunting as not all rules are written n club does have final say...whether we like it or not! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"2 people together, normally 1 male and 1 Female
Nope I was asked are u in a relationship. I was honest n said no just friends. Was told couples must be in a proper relationship to be classed as couple.
What's a 'proper relationship'?
"
Length of time together? Living together? Joint bank account? Splitting bills? Met the parents? Married? They should put some thought into this. A friendship may be classed as a relationship of sorts. Putting 'couples only in a proper relationship' is incredibly vague.
OP - If they were just concerned that you would have split as soon as you were inside, maybe they could have made that clear. I think the rule 'proper couples only' is a bit silly.
crystal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dunno what relevance it is.
But saw a guy on here recently asking for if any fems outthere want to go with him to a club so he can get into a couple's night.
Personally as a couple looking for couples we would be well pissed off if we started playing with a couple only to find out they don't even know each other.
Maybe we don't fully understand the scene?
Is it normal for people to pretend to be together to get into clubs?
"
Yes it happens a hell of a lot.
We'd rather not play with fuckbuds as the dynamics between the four of us have often been mismatched.
It becomes less of a group play. We've found them to be quite selfish - more concerned with their own pleasure
S x |
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"I was under the impression that swingers clubs provide an atmosphere n safe haven for like minded ppl?!? Is this not the case? Whether we are hubby/wife, gf/bf, fbs, fwbs or EVEN need a 'safe place' to meet for their first time meet....that we should not be under the judgement that we 'may stray', money incentive or just dont fit. All clubs have their rules n they are there to be respected but isnt it the job of staff to maintain the etiquette once inside? For newbies...this can be daunting as not all rules are written n club does have final say...whether we like it or not! "
La Chambre in Sheffield is a night club for swingers and is exactly that, a safe haven for like minded couples and single, Friday night single guys are allowed and Saturday is for couples, Single ladys are welcome on all nights. you are not judged on your circumstances or relationship statues, all are welcome and made to feel welcome |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"2 people together, normally 1 male and 1 Female
Nope I was asked are u in a relationship. I was honest n said no just friends. Was told couples must be in a proper relationship to be classed as couple.
What's a 'proper relationship'?
"
To us a proper relationship with swinging is when you know each sexually, personally and are on the same wavelength, knowing exactly how to fulfil each other's sexual needs, the nuances of rach others likes and dislikes, the body language of each when playing with others etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was under the impression that swingers clubs provide an atmosphere n safe haven for like minded ppl?!? Is this not the case? Whether we are hubby/wife, gf/bf, fbs, fwbs or EVEN need a 'safe place' to meet for their first time meet....that we should not be under the judgement that we 'may stray', money incentive or just dont fit. All clubs have their rules n they are there to be respected but isnt it the job of staff to maintain the etiquette once inside? For newbies...this can be daunting as not all rules are written n club does have final say...whether we like it or not! "
Totally agree I have been to many clubs with guys and only played with him, we have just used it as a place to meet for sex, some people have nowhere else to go so if your two singles clubs are ideal and you would have though clubs would welcome the custom |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"2 people together, normally 1 male and 1 Female
Nope I was asked are u in a relationship. I was honest n said no just friends. Was told couples must be in a proper relationship to be classed as couple.
What's a 'proper relationship'?
To us a proper relationship with swinging is when you know each sexually, personally and are on the same wavelength, knowing exactly how to fulfil each other's sexual needs, the nuances of rach others likes and dislikes, the body language of each when playing with others etc "
A what is exam pass percentage? Or is there a grading system in place? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Any chance you can mail me which club this is please so I know not to go. As a single fem I sometimes like to take a guy to a club. We go as a couple and we play as a couple. I wouldn't go off and do my thing and I wouldn't expect it from him either. I wouldn't have even thought to check before now if we'd be allowed entry so thanks. |
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"2 people together, normally 1 male and 1 Female
Nope I was asked are u in a relationship. I was honest n said no just friends. Was told couples must be in a proper relationship to be classed as couple.
What's a 'proper relationship'?
To us a proper relationship with swinging is when you know each sexually, personally and are on the same wavelength, knowing exactly how to fulfil each other's sexual needs, the nuances of rach others likes and dislikes, the body language of each when playing with others etc "
I've had that with fuck buddies in the past. We knew when each other liked something or not, kept constant watch over each other and communicated etc. It's possible to have that without a relationship |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Any chance you can mail me which club this is please so I know not to go. As a single fem I sometimes like to take a guy to a club. We go as a couple and we play as a couple. I wouldn't go off and do my thing and I wouldn't expect it from him either. I wouldn't have even thought to check before now if we'd be allowed entry so thanks."
Sorry hun...I have the highest respect for staff who work in clubs. They have a lot to deal with n this situation is just an example that we dont know enough about n is interesting to get other ppls _iews. I wouldnt want to stop anyone from visiting any clubs as its nerve racking, the unknown for newbies as it is. Like others have suggested...perhaps ring ahead first. Keep spur of the moment fun for private meets. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Couples membership i understand means you can only come in with the other person
not that your in a relationship with them
"
Do all couples have to have a membership in clubs? Ive attended clubs where I have turned up with a male friend n we were not asked to join membership. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Any chance you can mail me which club this is please so I know not to go. As a single fem I sometimes like to take a guy to a club. We go as a couple and we play as a couple. I wouldn't go off and do my thing and I wouldn't expect it from him either. I wouldn't have even thought to check before now if we'd be allowed entry so thanks.
Sorry hun...I have the highest respect for staff who work in clubs. They have a lot to deal with n this situation is just an example that we dont know enough about n is interesting to get other ppls _iews. I wouldnt want to stop anyone from visiting any clubs as its nerve racking, the unknown for newbies as it is. Like others have suggested...perhaps ring ahead first. Keep spur of the moment fun for private meets."
Sorry just to clarify on that last bit I don't do spur of the moment fun in clubs. When I said we play as a couple I meant with each other not other couples. I just like the atmosphere of clubs. Thanks |
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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago
Northamptonshire |
Not all clubs make you becaome a member, there are 3 clubs not to far from us and only one makes you join up.
As for hassle in clubs, Nick has found that it's mainly the women that 'have to have a grab' and the men try and do sly glances.
Dave |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
To us a proper relationship with swinging is when you know each sexually, personally and are on the same wavelength, knowing exactly how to fulfil each other's sexual needs, the nuances of rach others likes and dislikes, the body language of each when playing with others etc "
This is difficult though. For instance I have a friend who I've been having sex with every now and again (perhaps once or twice a year on average) for about 14 years. I'm not in a relationship with him though. But I know him very well sexually.
On the other hand I've only been having sex with the person I live with for about three months. We don't know each other well at all, but we're in a 'proper' relationship I guess, because we pay the bills together.
And my slave, I've been dating him for about two years now. I wouldn't say that we're in a 'proper' relationship, but we're certainly intimate friends and we know each other extrodinarily well. But we don't share the bills.
I've found over time that clubs are setup to deal with partners who have a single primary relationship (monogamousish) or singles. And people who fall outside of those strict categories are treated poorly.
Like when we tried to register for 'couples' membership with my slave and his long term partner who I also dated at the time at Liberties a few years ago. The three of us were in a relationship, but they made her and him register as a couple and me as a single woman. And how should I register if I want to go to a club with my girlfriend? Some people say to just register as two single women because you get a better deal on price - but we're not single women, we're a couple. Can we still go on couples nights?
Sex clubs can be the most discriminatory places sometimes. Which is a pain. And frustrating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think clubs have the right to refuse entry or question the validity of the couple.
It's not unknown for single girls to entice guys to take them to a club to get a lift etc and once arriving leaving the guy high and dry, this can cause problems on a couple only or restricted single guy night x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op, without naming the club, as that would be unfair, I'm just curious, was this club in the north west by any chance? Perhaps not far preston?
I ask because it's a place thats come up a few times for having rules that seem very authoritive in a community in would expect to be more open minded than most. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can sort of see their point
You go off and do your thing because most love a single woman
He goes off and tries to do his thing and all the couples get pissed off because he a lone male on the rampage "
i get this but dont some 'real couples' play this way - |
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The club in question is almost deffinatley no3 in chorley.
Had the same problem there last year!
And I assure you it is nothing to do with restricting the number of single guys attending.
Myself and a female friend encounterered the same problem.... But was allowed to enter if paying as two singles.
|
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"I can sort of see their point
You go off and do your thing because most love a single woman
He goes off and tries to do his thing and all the couples get pissed off because he a lone male on the rampage "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One club I know of has a rule that you have to be a couple on FAB. Don't know how this stands if you are not on FAB as I've never been back. Their club. Their rules. Vote with your feet."
I think I'm thinking of the same club. We do have a couple profile on here but we'll still never go back. Total bollocks club. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" and he'd add to the tally of single blokes harrasing couples/women
S x
Slightly off topic but this is exactly what puts us off attending clubs. We don't want to play the first couple of times we go, we just want to take in the scene and then decide, don't want any hassle whilst doing this.
Don't take other peoples experiences as the only experience. I've been to many many clubs and have only been harassed in one, and that was when I was with a male mate (not a 'couple' ). At most clubs the single males are considerate and polite. They need to be - it takes the poor buggers so much effort to even be allowed into clubs they don't want to jeopardise that."
We've been to lots of different clubs and only ever had an issue with pushy/ rude men in one club. Oddly enough it was the nw club that only allow Fab couples to attend. Horrible place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The club in question is almost deffinatley no3 in chorley.
Had the same problem there last year!
And I assure you it is nothing to do with restricting the number of single guys attending.
Myself and a female friend encounterered the same problem.... But was allowed to enter if paying as two singles.
"
This place was on my to visit hit list until I heard they weren't single friendly. Word of mouth is a powerful thing.
I've no problem with them being a couple only place, but if that's the case, they should make it clear on their website. |
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" and he'd add to the tally of single blokes harrasing couples/women
S x
Slightly off topic but this is exactly what puts us off attending clubs. We don't want to play the first couple of times we go, we just want to take in the scene and then decide, don't want any hassle whilst doing this.
Don't take other peoples experiences as the only experience. I've been to many many clubs and have only been harassed in one, and that was when I was with a male mate (not a 'couple' ). At most clubs the single males are considerate and polite. They need to be - it takes the poor buggers so much effort to even be allowed into clubs they don't want to jeopardise that.
We've been to lots of different clubs and only ever had an issue with pushy/ rude men in one club. Oddly enough it was the nw club that only allow Fab couples to attend. Horrible place. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dunno what relevance it is.
But saw a guy on here recently asking for if any fems outthere want to go with him to a club so he can get into a couple's night.
Personally as a couple looking for couples we would be well pissed off if we started playing with a couple only to find out they don't even know each other.
Maybe we don't fully understand the scene?
Is it normal for people to pretend to be together to get into clubs?
Yes it happens a hell of a lot.
We'd rather not play with fuckbuds as the dynamics between the four of us have often been mismatched.
It becomes less of a group play. We've found them to be quite selfish - more concerned with their own pleasure
S x"
Agreed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" and he'd add to the tally of single blokes harrasing couples/women
S x
Slightly off topic but this is exactly what puts us off attending clubs. We don't want to play the first couple of times we go, we just want to take in the scene and then decide, don't want any hassle whilst doing this. "
Yes off topic but a valid concern, unfounded somewhat as we have never seen anyone hassled into playing at any club, much be worth researching a local club to you, our description of swinging clubs in general is there is a bar or bar area where people meet and chat and then another area if you want o go watch and play
Ps we went 3 times before we played with anyone else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can sort of see their point
You go off and do your thing because most love a single woman
He goes off and tries to do his thing and all the couples get pissed off because he a lone male on the rampage "
Never thought of that, ah . Well if 2 people go together and play together id constitute that as being a couple whether theyre in a relationship or Not unless they Split up on arrival then that just aint cricket |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
We'd rather not play with fuckbuds as the dynamics between the four of us have often been mismatched.
It becomes less of a group play. We've found them to be quite selfish - more concerned with their own pleasure
S x
Agreed "
We've played with proper couples and has this happen.
Not sure what their response would been if you'd lied. Probably take you into separate rooms and done a mr & mrs style quiz!
We're a proper couple but no way would we go there besides we have our particular fav |
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By *not69Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"Op, without naming the club, as that would be unfair, I'm just curious, was this club in the north west by any chance? Perhaps not far preston?
I ask because it's a place thats come up a few times for having rules that seem very authoritive in a community in would expect to be more open minded than most."
Im not the friend that the OP took to this club but I am her friend and we have spoke about this privatelaly. It was NOT the club your on about although it was in the NW |
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By *not69Man
over a year ago
Lancashire |
"The club in question is almost deffinatley no3 in chorley.
Had the same problem there last year!
And I assure you it is nothing to do with restricting the number of single guys attending.
Myself and a female friend encounterered the same problem.... But was allowed to enter if paying as two singles.
"
No it wasnt No3 and please respect the OP's wishes regarding not naming the club |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The club in question is almost deffinatley no3 in chorley.
Had the same problem there last year!
And I assure you it is nothing to do with restricting the number of single guys attending.
Myself and a female friend encounterered the same problem.... But was allowed to enter if paying as two singles.
No it wasnt No3 and please respect the OP's wishes regarding not naming the club"
I think I know which club it is as I've seen loads of people turned away for not being a "proper" couple. I salways feel so sorry for them as quite often a lot of planning goes into a club night out
I've been to all the Manchester clubs and never ever been asked if me and a fb are a "proper" couple. Maybe play it safe and go to where the rules aren't quite so strict. |
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"I can sort of see their point
You go off and do your thing because most love a single woman
He goes off and tries to do his thing and all the couples get pissed off because he a lone male on the rampage "
I've seen "proper" couples do that at clubs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Op, without naming the club, as that would be unfair, I'm just curious, was this club in the north west by any chance? Perhaps not far preston?
I ask because it's a place thats come up a few times for having rules that seem very authoritive in a community in would expect to be more open minded than most.
Im not the friend that the OP took to this club but I am her friend and we have spoke about this privatelaly. It was NOT the club your on about although it was in the NW"
I very deliberately didn't name the club I expected it might be, despite having not the warmest of welcomes when I visited, however I have found some of the comments that have followed from others quite telling about their experiences.
As much as I can respect a clubs rules, I do think some of the comments here speak volumes about customer service, and I hope that maybe a little constructive criticism makes it to the right ears so that things can be improved.......
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"I wanted to attend a club party but was refused entry. Upon arrival I was asked are u signing in as couple, which I reply yes. But then to be followed with are yous in a relationship? Being me I told the truth n said no.
Of all places, I thought clubs are one of the few places I can let my hair down, be me n not tell porkies!
So what is classed as 'couples' wen going to a club? "
You should not have lied.
By saying you were not in a relationship showed you were not a couple.
If you were a couple you would be in a relationship no matter how loose that relationship was.
The meaning of relationship is "the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected:"
The two of you were connected by going to the swingers club together therefore you were in a relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can sort of see their point
You go off and do your thing because most love a single woman
He goes off and tries to do his thing and all the couples get pissed off because he a lone male on the rampage
I've seen "proper" couples do that at clubs"
Me too, I have had many a pissed off wife have a go at me for playing with what I believed to be a single guys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" and he'd add to the tally of single blokes harrasing couples/women
S x
Slightly off topic but this is exactly what puts us off attending clubs. We don't want to play the first couple of times we go, we just want to take in the scene and then decide, don't want any hassle whilst doing this. "
Have been to many clubs where single guys were allowed.. and yes got harassed, touched up, followed, letched over, asked what am i doing with my husband etc.
I can handle myself.. and put them straight.. but can appreciate it's not easy for club newbies.
Ive also had that from men from so called couples.
I think it's just a disrespectful man thing - which you are more likely to get from singles who pay much more to get into clubs and want "some".
Choose clubs wisely, to get the best party and attendees.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wanted to attend a club party but was refused entry. Upon arrival I was asked are u signing in as couple, which I reply yes. But then to be followed with are yous in a relationship? Being me I told the truth n said no.
Of all places, I thought clubs are one of the few places I can let my hair down, be me n not tell porkies!
So what is classed as 'couples' wen going to a club?
You should not have lied.
By saying you were not in a relationship showed you were not a couple.
If you were a couple you would be in a relationship no matter how loose that relationship was.
The meaning of relationship is "the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected:"
The two of you were connected by going to the swingers club together therefore you were in a relationship."
At which point did I lie?? What constitutes as a couple?? As many comments stated here just cos we're not married, in a steady relationship, live together, have kids etc...I still said the 'truth' that we were friends. Many clubs dont judge on ur background on the full status of ur 'couple' signing in. Regardless, I wont be going back as humiliation of being turned away in front of other spectators is not something I would endure again |
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