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Non-swingers in clubs
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Has anyone every taken someone not in the lifestyle to a club to indulge their curiosity & just for a social.
I have a mate who is fully aware of the scene & open minded, but not a swinger . Wants me to take & him as a friend so he can see it for himself, guessing he's looking at potential future options, open his eyes to what's out there, as he's just ending a relationship & wanting single male freedom.
Taken newbies to handhold before, but never a non-swinger, wondered if anyone had any experience?
Don't want to terrify my poor best mate, but it's a genuine request on his behalf  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think its a great idea although they do need to have an open mind but I wouldn't take a single male on his first visit .. just meet them there but not as a meet.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well having known him25 yrs he'll definitely fit it, but I know how daunting it is to men at 1st and I very much have my 'best friend' head on here and want to protect him lol
However am willing to share experience & introduce him properly to the scene gently, but no intention to go with him to play as a couple which is the difference |
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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago
Nr Manchester |
There is only one couple amongst our vanilla friends who know about our NSA side. We took them to a party night at a club. We didn't play with them and didn't see them playing but they did spend some time with each other in the couples room. They haven't been back again yet but it remains on the agenda.
The great thing about clubs is that people can do - or not do -what they like. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yes, that's the best bit. He can just chat & socialise with others, get the gist for himself & then if he thinks it's for him up to him to make the next moves himself.
Sounds a plan . I shall be the kinkily dressed agony Aunt tonite then  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was going to do this tonight with a vanilla ex . But he bottled it so I am glad I didn't take him .
I have taken girly friends before and they became regulars . |
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Last time we went to the Vanilla Alternative, there were a group of about three or four women, roughly mid-late 20's, who were there for what I could only conclude was the equivalent of a night out at the pub. They were wearing nightclub dresses, hung around together and finished off their night dancing to the music.
Now, I'm not ever going to begrudge anyone a fun night out if they're not causing a problem, and the VA are going to be happy with them buying drinks, but I just for the life of me couldn't figure out the logic of it.
First, they're paying £15 a head just to get in. You might pay that at a fancy nightclub in Cambridge, but if you're only there to hang out with a few mates and have a few drinks, it's basically paying £15 to go to the pub and listen to music before you've bought a single drink. You aren't even going to be able to properly socialise with strangers because they're (quite reasonably) going to assume they are up for some hot-tub fun.
I mean, if you just want a night out with your girlfriends, why not go down a regular pub, or an actual nightclub? Why pay a lot of money to go to a venue that is totally not geared for what you like? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Last time we went to the Vanilla Alternative, there were a group of about three or four women, roughly mid-late 20's, who were there for what I could only conclude was the equivalent of a night out at the pub. They were wearing nightclub dresses, hung around together and finished off their night dancing to the music.
Now, I'm not ever going to begrudge anyone a fun night out if they're not causing a problem, and the VA are going to be happy with them buying drinks, but I just for the life of me couldn't figure out the logic of it.
First, they're paying £15 a head just to get in. You might pay that at a fancy nightclub in Cambridge, but if you're only there to hang out with a few mates and have a few drinks, it's basically paying £15 to go to the pub and listen to music before you've bought a single drink. You aren't even going to be able to properly socialise with strangers because they're (quite reasonably) going to assume they are up for some hot-tub fun.
I mean, if you just want a night out with your girlfriends, why not go down a regular pub, or an actual nightclub? Why pay a lot of money to go to a venue that is totally not geared for what you like?"
Fancy nightclub in Cambridge?! Does it exist? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Last time we went to the Vanilla Alternative, there were a group of about three or four women, roughly mid-late 20's, who were there for what I could only conclude was the equivalent of a night out at the pub. They were wearing nightclub dresses, hung around together and finished off their night dancing to the music.
Now, I'm not ever going to begrudge anyone a fun night out if they're not causing a problem, and the VA are going to be happy with them buying drinks, but I just for the life of me couldn't figure out the logic of it.
First, they're paying £15 a head just to get in. You might pay that at a fancy nightclub in Cambridge, but if you're only there to hang out with a few mates and have a few drinks, it's basically paying £15 to go to the pub and listen to music before you've bought a single drink. You aren't even going to be able to properly socialise with strangers because they're (quite reasonably) going to assume they are up for some hot-tub fun.
I mean, if you just want a night out with your girlfriends, why not go down a regular pub, or an actual nightclub? Why pay a lot of money to go to a venue that is totally not geared for what you like?"
Maybe they are shy or no one took their fancy .
Are we supposed to go in basques and fuck everyone ? |
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By *leepyangelCouple
over a year ago
over the hill and far away |
I am now an ex swinger in a loving vanilla relationship. I have taken my Man to Decadance several times for the social side of things.
He has no intention to swing and I have no intention either. He loves the banter.
It's still good to go to fun places no matter if you play or not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At a social earlier this year a few fabbers got talking to a guy in the hotel before we all left for the club. They talked him into coming along. He had a fantastic night, got some action and is now a member of the site.
Happily ever after  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Last time we went to the Vanilla Alternative, there were a group of about three or four women, roughly mid-late 20's, who were there for what I could only conclude was the equivalent of a night out at the pub. They were wearing nightclub dresses, hung around together and finished off their night dancing to the music.
Now, I'm not ever going to begrudge anyone a fun night out if they're not causing a problem, and the VA are going to be happy with them buying drinks, but I just for the life of me couldn't figure out the logic of it.
First, they're paying £15 a head just to get in. You might pay that at a fancy nightclub in Cambridge, but if you're only there to hang out with a few mates and have a few drinks, it's basically paying £15 to go to the pub and listen to music before you've bought a single drink. You aren't even going to be able to properly socialise with strangers because they're (quite reasonably) going to assume they are up for some hot-tub fun.
I mean, if you just want a night out with your girlfriends, why not go down a regular pub, or an actual nightclub? Why pay a lot of money to go to a venue that is totally not geared for what you like?
Maybe they are shy or no one took their fancy .
Are we supposed to go in basques and fuck everyone ?"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"At a social earlier this year a few fabbers got talking to a guy in the hotel before we all left for the club. They talked him into coming along. He had a fantastic night, got some action and is now a member of the site.
Happily ever after "
I remember that ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Last time we went to the Vanilla Alternative, there were a group of about three or four women, roughly mid-late 20's, who were there for what I could only conclude was the equivalent of a night out at the pub. They were wearing nightclub dresses, hung around together and finished off their night dancing to the music.
Now, I'm not ever going to begrudge anyone a fun night out if they're not causing a problem, and the VA are going to be happy with them buying drinks, but I just for the life of me couldn't figure out the logic of it.
First, they're paying £15 a head just to get in. You might pay that at a fancy nightclub in Cambridge, but if you're only there to hang out with a few mates and have a few drinks, it's basically paying £15 to go to the pub and listen to music before you've bought a single drink. You aren't even going to be able to properly socialise with strangers because they're (quite reasonably) going to assume they are up for some hot-tub fun.
I mean, if you just want a night out with your girlfriends, why not go down a regular pub, or an actual nightclub? Why pay a lot of money to go to a venue that is totally not geared for what you like?"
I think we were there that night they turned up in a taxi the same time as us, it did look a little strange, it looked liked one of the girls defiantly wanted to be there more than the others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Last time we went to the Vanilla Alternative, there were a group of about three or four women, roughly mid-late 20's, who were there for what I could only conclude was the equivalent of a night out at the pub. They were wearing nightclub dresses, hung around together and finished off their night dancing to the music.
Now, I'm not ever going to begrudge anyone a fun night out if they're not causing a problem, and the VA are going to be happy with them buying drinks, but I just for the life of me couldn't figure out the logic of it.
First, they're paying £15 a head just to get in. You might pay that at a fancy nightclub in Cambridge, but if you're only there to hang out with a few mates and have a few drinks, it's basically paying £15 to go to the pub and listen to music before you've bought a single drink. You aren't even going to be able to properly socialise with strangers because they're (quite reasonably) going to assume they are up for some hot-tub fun.
I mean, if you just want a night out with your girlfriends, why not go down a regular pub, or an actual nightclub? Why pay a lot of money to go to a venue that is totally not geared for what you like?"
Maybe none of the single guys didnt find them attractive lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Last time we went to the Vanilla Alternative, there were a group of about three or four women, roughly mid-late 20's, who were there for what I could only conclude was the equivalent of a night out at the pub. They were wearing nightclub dresses, hung around together and finished off their night dancing to the music.
Now, I'm not ever going to begrudge anyone a fun night out if they're not causing a problem, and the VA are going to be happy with them buying drinks, but I just for the life of me couldn't figure out the logic of it.
First, they're paying £15 a head just to get in. You might pay that at a fancy nightclub in Cambridge, but if you're only there to hang out with a few mates and have a few drinks, it's basically paying £15 to go to the pub and listen to music before you've bought a single drink. You aren't even going to be able to properly socialise with strangers because they're (quite reasonably) going to assume they are up for some hot-tub fun.
I mean, if you just want a night out with your girlfriends, why not go down a regular pub, or an actual nightclub? Why pay a lot of money to go to a venue that is totally not geared for what you like? Maybe none of the single guys didnt find them attractive lol "
or maybe they went back to their hotel and fucked each other senseless. (I like my version better ) |
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"I am now an ex swinger in a loving vanilla relationship. I have taken my Man to Decadance several times for the social side of things.
He has no intention to swing and I have no intention either. He loves the banter.
It's still good to go to fun places no matter if you play or not "
Here here. On the few occasions I've attended clubs, guys that are newbies go in expecting it to be on a plate. I tell them to chill & relax and the rest will come naturally |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Has anyone every taken someone not in the lifestyle to a club to indulge their curiosity & just for a social.
I have a mate who is fully aware of the scene & open minded, but not a swinger . Wants me to take & him as a friend so he can see it for himself, guessing he's looking at potential future options, open his eyes to what's out there, as he's just ending a relationship & wanting single male freedom.
I took a fem vanilla friend to a club on a social evening. She really enjoyed it and walked away with a few phone numbers
Taken newbies to handhold before, but never a non-swinger, wondered if anyone had any experience?
Don't want to terrify my poor best mate, but it's a genuine request on his behalf "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well having known him25 yrs he'll definitely fit it, but I know how daunting it is to men at 1st and I very much have my 'best friend' head on here and want to protect him lol
However am willing to share experience & introduce him properly to the scene gently, but no intention to go with him to play as a couple which is the difference"
I'd love you to be my new "best friend" lol. I've never been to a club but would love to go. However, being quite shy at first, going alone is a bit intimidating I think. |
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By *enninemarkMan
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"Has anyone every taken someone not in the lifestyle to a club to indulge their curiosity & just for a social.
I have a mate who is fully aware of the scene & open minded, but not a swinger . Wants me to take & him as a friend so he can see it for himself, guessing he's looking at potential future options, open his eyes to what's out there, as he's just ending a relationship & wanting single male freedom.
Taken newbies to handhold before, but never a non-swinger, wondered if anyone had any experience?
Don't want to terrify my poor best mate, but it's a genuine request on his behalf "
I think if you have been open and honest with him before hand, described in detail what it is like and what happens etc I think it is a great idea. He can see for himself with no pressure. Easier than just going alone!
Id love to know what he thinks though! |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I took my long term FB to a club (he was most definitely not into this lifestyle). He didn't enjoy himself and it indirectly caused us to break up, as he didn't like the idea of me visiting clubs for NSA fun.
I think he expected a bevy of nubile blondes gagging to entertain him. Not the clubs fault - he asked to go, I took him. He just wasn't prepared for the reality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I took my long term FB to a club (he was most definitely not into this lifestyle). He didn't enjoy himself and it indirectly caused us to break up, as he didn't like the idea of me visiting clubs for NSA fun.
I think he expected a bevy of nubile blondes gagging to entertain him. Not the clubs fault - he asked to go, I took him. He just wasn't prepared for the reality. "
Same happened to me. He even asked me before we went in 'what do I do if two fit women want to fuck me and they don't fancy you? Can i go off with them?' 'Oh dear sweetie thats not going to happen.' The reality was he spent all the night cowering behind me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Well as he is genuinely just a friend, should be no issues like that & he just wants to observe the lifestyle.
Get the impression he's keen to dip his toes, but doesn't know where to start & I'm the trusted chaperone in case of cold feet issues or getting more than he bargain for which is fine. Only one way to find out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well as he is genuinely just a friend, should be no issues like that & he just wants to observe the lifestyle.
Get the impression he's keen to dip his toes, but doesn't know where to start & I'm the trusted chaperone in case of cold feet issues or getting more than he bargain for which is fine. Only one way to find out "
I'm eagerly awaiting the outcome of this.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
The outcome - he had a few drinks to steady his nerves, a few drinks too many....hahaha
Another time, think I'll let him loose on here, get a feel for things, then keep him away from the drink next time
If he wants to go he will when he's ready |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The outcome - he had a few drinks to steady his nerves, a few drinks too many....hahaha
Another time, think I'll let him loose on here, get a feel for things, then keep him away from the drink next time
If he wants to go he will when he's ready"
Haha...a few pints of Dutch courage huh lol. Can I come next time please?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I took my long term FB to a club (he was most definitely not into this lifestyle). He didn't enjoy himself and it indirectly caused us to break up, as he didn't like the idea of me visiting clubs for NSA fun.
I think he expected a bevy of nubile blondes gagging to entertain him. Not the clubs fault - he asked to go, I took him. He just wasn't prepared for the reality.
Same happened to me. He even asked me before we went in 'what do I do if two fit women want to fuck me and they don't fancy you? Can i go off with them?' 'Oh dear sweetie thats not going to happen.' The reality was he spent all the night cowering behind me. "
Plus like anything else in life clubs contain a large amount of sod's law. Only been to a club a few times but I remember one time I had all night with no work for four days afterwards and no one played with anyone, it just wasn't that vibe though there was a decent amount of people in. Still had a good night though. On the flip side something approaching the situation you described as not going to happened; two offers from two ladies at once though only one was blonde to be fair...as I was on the way out to start work!
These things happen...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Last time we went to the Vanilla Alternative, there were a group of about three or four women, roughly mid-late 20's, who were there for what I could only conclude was the equivalent of a night out at the pub. They were wearing nightclub dresses, hung around together and finished off their night dancing to the music.
Now, I'm not ever going to begrudge anyone a fun night out if they're not causing a problem, and the VA are going to be happy with them buying drinks, but I just for the life of me couldn't figure out the logic of it.
First, they're paying £15 a head just to get in. You might pay that at a fancy nightclub in Cambridge, but if you're only there to hang out with a few mates and have a few drinks, it's basically paying £15 to go to the pub and listen to music before you've bought a single drink. You aren't even going to be able to properly socialise with strangers because they're (quite reasonably) going to assume they are up for some hot-tub fun.
I mean, if you just want a night out with your girlfriends, why not go down a regular pub, or an actual nightclub? Why pay a lot of money to go to a venue that is totally not geared for what you like?
Maybe they are shy or no one took their fancy .
Are we supposed to go in basques and fuck everyone ?"
Totally agree NA, what people do when they are there is up to them entirely maybe no one took there fancy and not everyone plays every time a fact the NN is well aware of |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Last time we went to the Vanilla Alternative, there were a group of about three or four women, roughly mid-late 20's, who were there for what I could only conclude was the equivalent of a night out at the pub. They were wearing nightclub dresses, hung around together and finished off their night dancing to the music.
Now, I'm not ever going to begrudge anyone a fun night out if they're not causing a problem, and the VA are going to be happy with them buying drinks, but I just for the life of me couldn't figure out the logic of it.
First, they're paying £15 a head just to get in. You might pay that at a fancy nightclub in Cambridge, but if you're only there to hang out with a few mates and have a few drinks, it's basically paying £15 to go to the pub and listen to music before you've bought a single drink. You aren't even going to be able to properly socialise with strangers because they're (quite reasonably) going to assume they are up for some hot-tub fun.
I mean, if you just want a night out with your girlfriends, why not go down a regular pub, or an actual nightclub? Why pay a lot of money to go to a venue that is totally not geared for what you like?"
9 times out of 10 I don't play at swinging clubs.....I love the social side and would happily pay £15 to go to a swinging club and hang about with open minded (like minded) people than go to a nightclub.
People go for different reasons....different strokes for different folks I say  |
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