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Swingers Clubs for Swingers?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi everyone,
In the past month or so we have been to three clubs and we have noticed a change. Two out of the three clubs had large amounts of 20 some things that were d*unk beyond belief and did not appear to part of the swinging scene. Is it just us or is this the way that clubs are going?
x |
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The clubs / parties we attend wouldn't allow this. And if honest what person would want to actually play with someone who was as pissed as a fart?! Know for us it would be a total no no . Not something we have seen at all. We mix with all ages and everyone just wants a good, fun eve and have full manners/ respect for others .  |
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That's why we choose very carefully the clubs that we go to! we have no issue with 20 sumthings but avoid anyone that's d*unk.....far too many issues regarding consent 
We prefer clubs that are not licensed and don't run like a nightclub.
Mrs Dirty |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Age has nothing to do with it but attitude does. And what we witnessed was by 20 somethings. Swingers clubs were once the domain of like minded people who enjoyed an erotic and sexual atmosphere. D*unken groups of people really don't go very far towards creating that sort of atmosphere. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Maybe we it was just the venues we visited then. It just seemed strange as we have been to both of them many times over the years but only been back after a bit of break from clubs. |
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By *enithWoman
over a year ago
closer than you think |
"Maybe we it was just the venues we visited then. It just seemed strange as we have been to both of them many times over the years but only been back after a bit of break from clubs. "
we have noticed this too and mentioned it in a review |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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being in our early twentys and attend many clubs this is down to the club for allowing it. some people don't know when to stop.
bottom line is the club should control the members drinking if it becomes excessive. they should stop serving when people become d*unk
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"being in our early twentys and attend many clubs this is down to the club for allowing it. some people don't know when to stop.
bottom line is the club should control the members drinking if it becomes excessive. they should stop serving when people become d*unk
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"being in our early twentys and attend many clubs this is down to the club for allowing it. some people don't know when to stop.
bottom line is the club should control the members drinking if it becomes excessive. they should stop serving when people become d*unk
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"being in our early twentys and attend many clubs this is down to the club for allowing it. some people don't know when to stop.
bottom line is the club should control the members drinking if it becomes excessive. they should stop serving when people become d*unk
"
The clubs we have been to wouldn't allow this either. Morrigan had a bit too much one night and was spoken to by one of the owners, we both think it was dealt with very well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi everyone,
In the past month or so we have been to three clubs and we have noticed a change. Two out of the three clubs had large amounts of 20 some things that were d*unk beyond belief and did not appear to part of the swinging scene. Is it just us or is this the way that clubs are going?
x"
Not seen an increase in 20 something's being d*unk, but noticed increase in 40+ being d*unk.
Agree with other posters, non licensed venues better to control alcohol intake, club staff should monitor and eject if necessary anyone d*unk.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of all the clubs we've been to, the only unpleasant d*unken behaviour ive ever witnessed (2 incidents) has been from people way out of their 20s.
The issue is about inappropriate behaviour and how clubs deal with it. Which is nothing to do with age.
In the absence of the OP naming clubs, the debate does become a bit pointless though. If a particular club has a reputation for this I don't see the harm in it being discussed. Conversely if it was a one off, Chinese whispers speculating which clubs the op means are far from a positive thing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The reason for not naming the clubs concerned is that naming and shaming is not allowed in forums. The reason for stating 20 somethings is because that is what was witnessed by us on two separate occasions. The underlying question is, are swinging clubs opening there doors to none scene people who don't understand that there is a certain etiquette. We have been in the scene for many years and have noticed a change. We fail to see what constitutes Chinese whispers. A question is a question and a question always have the right to be asked... This was not meant to be a case of point the finger. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
" The clubs / parties we attend wouldn't allow this. And if honest what person would want to actually play with someone who was as pissed as a fart?! Know for us it would be a total no no . Not something we have seen at all. We mix with all ages and everyone just wants a good, fun eve and have full manners/ respect for others . "
this....
I think any club worth their salt would keep an eye on their customers and the amount of drink they consumer... and if gets to the point that someone is "d*unk" they will preform an intervention to stop them drinking more...
I know my local club doesn't allow people in if they are deemed to be d*unk, and will stop people from drinking any alcohol if they feel they aren't in control of their facilties...
but what I have noticed that groups of people are so "loud" in being social in their own little bubbles that they dont realise that it can affect how others are playing or not in being an overbearing prescence.... and I think that sometimes it just needs a "calm down" word in the ear...
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Not seen this as a trend in the clubs that we attend as such , but on occasion we do see lots of people who drink "dutch courage " and can sometimes go too far. But see where the OP is coming from if its happened on a Cpl of occasions , I would think that particular club will soon find it becoming a very expensive standard nightclub to drink in soon when it drives the swingers out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have noticed this trend too in recent times, and have thought the scene is changing to more of an erotic party than a swinging event, without naming names we suspect the OP has been to same places as us.
Nothing wrong with a bit of liquid courage, but have seen plenty that have had way too much to even contemplate play.
Maybe the younger generation coming through have different requirements from the scene thus it is evolving, but it does seem that more want to chat and drink than play, but maybe thats a location and geography thing? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have noticed this trend too in recent times, and have thought the scene is changing to more of an erotic party than a swinging event, without naming names we suspect the OP has been to same places as us.
Nothing wrong with a bit of liquid courage, but have seen plenty that have had way too much to even contemplate play.
Maybe the younger generation coming through have different requirements from the scene thus it is evolving, but it does seem that more want to chat and drink than play, but maybe thats a location and geography thing? "
Maybe they just don't fancy the older people there so don't have anyone to play with as they don't want to play with the friends they came with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Age has nothing to do with swinging etiquette.
We have been to a number of clubs where some of the older members 40/50's especially the ladies were plastered and creating scenes and drama. A club by Heathrow is an example!
However, we'd love to know where you went to get 20 years olds.. we cant find any! lol
We've been to many clubs and just danced, and drinked and chatted and not played as not been interested in those there.. but then we are quite picky.. we dont just play with anyone to "make the best of a bad night" like we have heard that saying many times in swing clubs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Age has nothing to do with swinging etiquette.
We have been to a number of clubs where some of the older members 40/50's especially the ladies were plastered and creating scenes and drama. A club by Heathrow is an example!
However, we'd love to know where you went to get 20 years olds.. we cant find any! lol
We've been to many clubs and just danced, and drinked and chatted and not played as not been interested in those there.. but then we are quite picky.. we dont just play with anyone to "make the best of a bad night" like we have heard that saying many times in swing clubs."
Indeed it seems funny the usual advice is go at it like it's a night out with no expectations to play.
Then when people do that omg they're just having fun and dancing and not having sex with us how dare they |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"We have noticed this trend too in recent times, and have thought the scene is changing to more of an erotic party than a swinging event, without naming names we suspect the OP has been to same places as us.
Nothing wrong with a bit of liquid courage, but have seen plenty that have had way too much to even contemplate play.
Maybe the younger generation coming through have different requirements from the scene thus it is evolving, but it does seem that more want to chat and drink than play, but maybe thats a location and geography thing? "
A couple of questions re this post!
What do you expect at a 'swinging event' ? I wasn't aware there were strict guidelines that had to be followed.
And I've been to many a club where there's as much chatting and drinking occurring as play - is the scene not a social environment and therefore requiring normal social activities?
As for the 'younger generation' ? As has been said - age is no determiner of behaviour. An arse is an arse regardless of age. The majority of times I've seen anyone over indulge with the booze it's been the over 40's and more often than not at BYO clubs rather than those with licensed bars. The tendency to take a bottle of spirits (£10-15) and consume it all is far more common than someone consuming the same volume at bar prices.
I'd also love to know which clubs are being discussed - given the number of threads asking where the younger crowd hang out. It would be interesting info!!
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" The clubs / parties we attend wouldn't allow this. And if honest what person would want to actually play with someone who was as pissed as a fart?! Know for us it would be a total no no . Not something we have seen at all. We mix with all ages and everyone just wants a good, fun eve and have full manners/ respect for others .
this....
I think any club worth their salt would keep an eye on their customers and the amount of drink they consumer... and if gets to the point that someone is "d*unk" they will preform an intervention to stop them drinking more...
I know my local club doesn't allow people in if they are deemed to be d*unk, and will stop people from drinking any alcohol if they feel they aren't in control of their facilties...
but what I have noticed that groups of people are so "loud" in being social in their own little bubbles that they dont realise that it can affect how others are playing or not in being an overbearing prescence.... and I think that sometimes it just needs a "calm down" word in the ear...
"
So agree the one specific club we go to a little word in ear of the owner and he's like a rocket to sort it out.. He has asked people to leave as either "pissed" or totally off their heads.. then he gets abuse in forums..
But think that is the way a good club should work.. a word to owner he checks and then reacts.  Naughty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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d*unken 20 somethings are as bad for clubs as clicky 30 -60 somethings that meet then disappear to private meets leaving the clubs empty, theres nowt as queer as folk!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi everyone,
In the past month or so we have been to three clubs and we have noticed a change. Two out of the three clubs had large amounts of 20 some things that were d*unk beyond belief and did not appear to part of the swinging scene. Is it just us or is this the way that clubs are going?
x"
We have seen it on an odd occasion when its a social at a club but normally clubs don't want this sort of behavior and will get rid or d*unks or loutish behavior. |
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We go to Jaydees and VA and although it would be wrong to say we have never seen someone a little worse for wear. In both clubs the owners would quickly move those persons to a safe place and arrange for them to be escorted home. We have never encounter d*unken unacceptable behaviour in either club and know neither owners would tolerate it. |
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Been to somewhere in the region of 100 clubs in my life time, various of those on multiple occasions, have witnessed this kind of behavior maybe half a dozen times or so for various reasons and with people of all ages and experience.
So there seems to be two separate issues here, one regarding behavior and one regarding an overall change of trend in the scene of more people coming on board from a younger age and not engaging in the scene in the appropriate manner.
While being out of control and behaving inappropriately should not be acceptable at any club (And the club should have an onus on keeping people in check or asking them to leave) that's not the same thing as people not wanting to dive into the orgy room or 'play' simply because they attend.
At the end of the day if someone wants to go to a club and they choose not to have sex, that's their choice. It simply maybe that there isn't anyone they fancy there that night, or for a whole host of other reasons.
Having been active on the scene now since 2005, yes the scene looks younger in some places, but that's also because we are all getting older and it can take some people along time to get a handle on it, this however is NOT an trait that is exclusive to age nor representative of the scene as a whole. Some people try it in their 20s, others take the plunge in their 50s or even 60s - that's always the way its going to be, that's always the way it should be.
The scene should always be open and inclusive while at the same time not be pushy and abusive. Everyone should go at their own pace, and if that pace is three erotic parties so they can feel sensual and work out what they want (Or don't want) good for them.
The scene actually seemed pretty young to us when we started out, but that's because our first party attracted a dance crowd and people of that age tended to gravitate towards that kind of party, now we go for something a bit different.
While you will always get people on the scene who just don't grasp the etiquette and clearly shouldn't be there, I don't think the number of incidents reflects an on going change on the scene as a whole.
More people are trying it, because more people know about it, and more people try it, etc etc
If it was always the same people, week in, week out, one thing is for sure, you would all get bored pretty fast. |
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