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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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First of all thanks for your contribution. After I started this debate it would be churlish of me to criticise you for your thought out contribution so I’ll offer some observations on how they make me feel and how your comments (and others) have made me think about myself and what do when I crossdress and try to pick up people in clubs. I've put previous comments in double quotes ""...""
""I'm going to say something a bit controversial here There are women, men and TG's I fancy.. and there are many that I just don't..this would apply to many peoples perception of others I guess..
""Maybe no one was interested as you weren't approachable perhaps.. or there wasn't anyone there that particular night/day that fancied you? No offence is meant by that comment.""
I totally understand this and have to accept it. I also know and have been told I come on too strong. On Friday at a club I fancied a couple but tried to be subtle and flirt but nothing happened. Oh well I have to accept that and move on. If I go to a club and no one wants me, I have to accept that, but boy does that hurt inside when I make such an effort and am willing to do so much for their attention and…here’s the crunch, their LOVE and adoration. Yeah, I want their love like I wanted my parents love and approval. Fucking me is approving of me and accepting me. Turning me away is the hurt of parental rejection. No wonder I try so hard to get anyone’s approval for my sexually choices…
""Another observation I have made of the years. Why do some TV/CD's think that probably take their dressing a little too seriously and think they immediately put on a frock everyone that meets TV's will fancy them.""
I accept this too. When TVs dress they have to fancy themselves, otherwise how would we get out the door? You have to think you are passable and attractive. I’ve met plenty of TVs at closed events, like Beaumont Society get togethers, who can’t pass and look like truckers in drag, but even they have the gleam of hope that the can look good dressed. I also know there are also other ways to at least look something like a woman. After all there are some ugly women out there too and many TVs get more invisible if they dress drab or look older. But that’s not for me, I want to crossdress and be noticed. I don’t want to be invisible AND I want to be desired. Sooo greedy huh?
Personally I do think I am damn sexy when dressed and that comes from wanting to be adored, I want people to want me, that’s part of my psyche and that’s the hardest part for me when someone doesn’t want me (back to rejection issues). But I turn it into “I’m so hot, they don’t know what they are missing” rather than “I’m just not attractive to them, so try something different”. My lesson here is – I have my style of dressing and I don’t want to change it, so I have to accept the consequences – almost EVERYONE will not find me attractive, but I then hang onto the hope a few will. So I’ll have wink at everyone in the club and see if anyone winks back, if not I just have fun, not bother anyone and continue my search for that illusive few (and Friday I found one lovely guy who did want me and got me).
""The fantasy of me? they are just photos at the right time in the right light..any similarity to a real girl stops there and if you get closer than 10ft without 5 pints of lager..i am a bloke in a frock albeit a not bad looking one, with fuckin great legs! totally obsessed and vain when in character.""
Well some Tgirls do pass all the time, even close inspection, and not just TS’s. I’ve know some TVs who live their lives dressed and maybe people around then know but they don’t worry. I’ve dressed down and gone around dressed and got no hassles but I crave attention so I don’t want to go for a meal in a restaurant or shopping, I want to over-dress, go clubbing and get fucked. People might know but not comment, I accept that too, but when I was really young and dressing I even had lesbians approach me in clubs who didn’t know. So some of us can pass but I also accept for me those days are long gone. So at a club everyone their will know I’m a TV and make their own snog, marry, avoid decisions. Oddly at Swingers clubs its chat or avoid of course, at gay clubs its snog and party…but at gay clubs they don’t really hit on you…
""While I'm at it, as I've just received yet another mail from a straight guy wanting to meet me... this attitude is also a little controversial, a stark reality rarely addressed on the forums..are you ready for this little bombshell? ..you sure you want to hear it?? If you meet me, or approach any tv/cd on here just looking for sex.... you will be having gay sex with a man in a frock!
Wooow how about that?""
Let’s start by dropping the patriarchal terminology that divides the world into straight or gay sex shall we? At the end of the day there are only two kinds of bodies – M or F – and there’s 3 kinds of sex MF, MM or FF (threesomes are combinations, MMF = MM + MF, MFF = MF + FF etc.)(TS’s aspire to move from one sex to the other). So sex between a man and a TV is MM sex. But how about this, I only have sex with men dressed as a girl, it is “gay” sex but in my mind (which constructs reality after all) its not MM sex but MF sex, though from an outside perspective you’re seeing MM sex.
Someone said to me its funny how when F go swinging everyone (read Ms) think they should be gay (i.e. do FF sex)and people actually get offended or put out if an F will not do FF sex in front of them. However most Ms would not dream of doing MM sex in front of anyone. When was the last time at a swingers club two couples met and the two MMs had a good snog straight off, feeling each others chests and groins while the FFs watched? Ok maybe a very few times but mostly the Ms expect F partners to be up for some FF action before they get down to their MF swapping. Its soooooo patriarchal. Swinging just seems to carry over these ancient, patriarchal attitudes of everyday life into the sex clubs.
And anyway its not just “sex with a man in a frock” its sex with a M who has taken a lot of time to primp and pretty himself and transform himself into a sexual confection. I don’t think you meant to dis us all babe but hell, the most effort men put into getting ready for a swinging night is to put on a crappy shirt, trousers and boring boxers, add some shitty aftershave and think they look sexy (some don’t ever bloody shower). I (and most women who swing) shave, shower, make up, adjust my body with fake tits and bum pads, smother myself in perfume, put on tight, colourful clothes that are tiny and cover nothing and then ruin my feet with high heels. Then I drive miles always risking discovery if my car brakes down (once my tyre went on the M1, you should have seen the AA guys’ face) before finally facing the judgement of a bunch of people who don’t even bother to find out what I’m about…hmm, just a man in a frock? I don’t think so girlfriend!
""PS It really is my cock and not a 'clitty' and its my arse not a 'pussy' or 'mancunt' FFS! If you ask to see my tits..i will just open a drawer and leave you to fondle any pair you happen to fine there.. a tip..just look for the ones that have a sock sticking out.""
Well of course it’s an affectation but so is calling a vagina a pussy and a penis a cock. “Oh darling let me put my penis in your vagina” makes for great porn doesn’t it? If I’d rather say “would you like to suck my boiclit and put your big cock up my boi pussy” does it matter? Its all part of the fantasy we weave and who doesn’t shout “oh fuck my arse bigboy” when they are actually doing it to you…As for my tits I’m not silly enough to think showing someone my two silicon bags is going to turn them on – though I do love getting naked without them, just wearing my make-up and wig, you can believe that shocks them when I get I the hot tub! LOL
""Hope my observations don't cause offence, any constructive criticism welcome...""
You have caused absolutely no offence by your comments, I hope I haven’t by mine. Perhaps now you’ll understand what a weird, arrogant, self-important but desperately needy little gurl (  ) I am and probably why I don’t get any action when I’m at swingers clubs.
I want to walk into the room and (all eyes on us) have people think – I’d like to fuck that, but get instead get – what a train wreck…I get that now. My lessons to myself:
1) flirt don’t frighten
2) if you don’t get the attention you want, don’t push it
3) find non-sexual ways to impress people
4) enjoy yourself without offending others
5) keep trying, they are out there…
Anyone reading this will now clearly press the “avoid” button when they see me, but hell those select few I’m looking for to play my drrty games with will see the frightened, attention-seeking slut desperate to please who wants to spread her metaphorical wings (and actual legs), and they’ll help me unlock my true self and let me fly free…
LOL XXX
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