FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Single guys in clubs
Single guys in clubs
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi everyone! Firstly, I know some people can get quite aggravated that they've seen posts like this on here before in the hundreds, but I don't really have the time, nor the energy, to trawl through the masses of forum topics to find them. Sorry!
I was just wondering how single guys are received at clubs? I've not been to one yet, mainly due to settling into my new job and a large part of it is just nerves. Although I'm a confident guy, I'm not sure if this confidence will go wasted if people stay away from me purely because I'm a single guy.
I assume it's always better to go as a couple, if you're male, I was just wondering if people could suggest clubs where single males are perhaps encouraged?
Thanks. X |
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Depends.
If you go to a club, spend the whole night following couples and women around, barging into closed rooms, and furiously wanking whenever anything remotely sexy walks past you, then you aren't going to be received especially well.
However, if you go, speak to people like you would in a normal pub or club, don't have any expectations, and wait to be invited, then you will be received rather well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends.
If you go to a club, spend the whole night following couples and women around, barging into closed rooms, and furiously wanking whenever anything remotely sexy walks past you, then you aren't going to be received especially well.
However, if you go, speak to people like you would in a normal pub or club, don't have any expectations, and wait to be invited, then you will be received rather well. "
 |
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La Chambre in Sheffield accepts single males on Fridays and Sundays. As long as you treat everyone with respect you'll be fine.
See the website and have a chat to people. We're a friendly bunch.
If that's a bit far I'm sure there are plenty of choices nearby. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Depends.
If you go to a club, spend the whole night following couples and women around, barging into closed rooms, and furiously wanking whenever anything remotely sexy walks past you, then you aren't going to be received especially well.
However, if you go, speak to people like you would in a normal pub or club, don't have any expectations, and wait to be invited, then you will be received rather well. "
Well when you put it like that, it seems very commonsensical actually. Do people (couples and fems) go to clubs actively seeking single males, or is it just the kind of thing that happens and you go with the flow? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends.
If you go to a club, spend the whole night following couples and women around, barging into closed rooms, and furiously wanking whenever anything remotely sexy walks past you, then you aren't going to be received especially well.
However, if you go, speak to people like you would in a normal pub or club, don't have any expectations, and wait to be invited, then you will be received rather well.
Well when you put it like that, it seems very commonsensical actually. Do people (couples and fems) go to clubs actively seeking single males, or is it just the kind of thing that happens and you go with the flow?"
I do  |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
OP. I would recommend you go by yourself. Start with a social event if that is too daunting.
When I went to clubs I only ever approached guys who were alone. Those with a lady I would leave alone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"but I don't really have the time, nor the energy, to trawl through the masses of forum topics to find them. "
If you can;t be bothered then why would you expect anyone to bother with a detailed answer?
Short answer: if single men are admitted it is fair to assume that most, if not all attending that night have no problem with single men.
Long answer: read the countless other threads |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"but I don't really have the time, nor the energy, to trawl through the masses of forum topics to find them.
If you can;t be bothered then why would you expect anyone to bother with a detailed answer?
Short answer: if single men are admitted it is fair to assume that most, if not all attending that night have no problem with single men.
Long answer: read the countless other threads"
Unsure as to why you felt the need to post this, to be honest. You would've saved yourself some time in staying on your high horse.
I clearly put the time into the post, and it's just much simpler to keep track of the posts by creating my own one on Fab Mobile. That being said, I don't particularly know why I feel like I need to justify myself. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
i kinda agree with crystal wheels...
you say you can't be bothered to trawl thru forum threads, but the one thing I would absolutely say is do your research because it is the best way to prepare...
they can't "spoonfeed" you thru the entire process....
crystal put it bluntly.... "why should others help you if you are not prepared to help yourself?" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i kinda agree with crystal wheels...
you say you can't be bothered to trawl thru forum threads, but the one thing I would absolutely say is do your research because it is the best way to prepare...
they can't "spoonfeed" you thru the entire process....
crystal put it bluntly.... "why should others help you if you are not prepared to help yourself?""
Surely me picking and choosing what forum posts I read is doing less research than asking my own questions? That, in itself, takes more time and effort, reading the responses that people have written specifically for the question I have asked.
I'm only asking for help, rather than demanding it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"but I don't really have the time, nor the energy, to trawl through the masses of forum topics to find them.
If you can;t be bothered then why would you expect anyone to bother with a detailed answer?
Short answer: if single men are admitted it is fair to assume that most, if not all attending that night have no problem with single men.
Long answer: read the countless other threads
Unsure as to why you felt the need to post this, to be honest. You would've saved yourself some time in staying on your high horse.
I clearly put the time into the post, and it's just much simpler to keep track of the posts by creating my own one on Fab Mobile. That being said, I don't particularly know why I feel like I need to justify myself."
Well said , and so good to see a positive reaction to a negative post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"but I don't really have the time, nor the energy, to trawl through the masses of forum topics to find them.
If you can;t be bothered then why would you expect anyone to bother with a detailed answer?
Short answer: if single men are admitted it is fair to assume that most, if not all attending that night have no problem with single men.
Long answer: read the countless other threads
Unsure as to why you felt the need to post this, to be honest. You would've saved yourself some time in staying on your high horse.
I clearly put the time into the post, and it's just much simpler to keep track of the posts by creating my own one on Fab Mobile. That being said, I don't particularly know why I feel like I need to justify myself."
Dont worry about it.. the forums are full of others who have spent too much time in them and see the same posts again and again - it's the usual single guy bashing again (wouldn't have happened if it was a single girl).
Theres plenty of repeat posts/threads and probably over 80% of new threads are just repeat topics that have been covered many times already anyway - the help section is a prime candidate. |
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There are some forums where some posts become "Stickies". i.e. a permanent part of the forum that is on once and for all (no repeat topics allowed)
This is one such topic amongst others (e.g. the countless "Chams on Friday", Chams on Saturday...etc) that ought to be a "Sticky" so that people don't have to play Hunt the Thimble to get the information that they want.
I hope that the forum admins might take this on board. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There are some forums where some posts become "Stickies". i.e. a permanent part of the forum that is on once and for all (no repeat topics allowed)
This is one such topic amongst others (e.g. the countless "Chams on Friday", Chams on Saturday...etc) that ought to be a "Sticky" so that people don't have to play Hunt the Thimble to get the information that they want.
I hope that the forum admins might take this on board."
That would certainly be a good idea. It would make everyones' lives that little bit easier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP - in answer to your question, I would only go on a night where single guys are allowed and have no problem with them providing they are respectful and follow the rules of the club.
I can't be arsed to trawl through the pages of drivel sometimes as people rarely stick to the question you've asked......
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been to a club twice now, once on a singles night (only a couple of people there so was a bit quiet though good for a first night) and also on a couples night. During the couples night i did feel out of place and got the feeling from a few people not that welcome too. As a single guy you are better off going to a singles night. |
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By *itSamCouple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
Our personal preference is couples nights. However we are a couple who want to meet a couple. There are single females out there who want to meet single males. So for example. Most clubs have single guys allowed in on a Friday and couples only on a Saturday. This means if a woman wants single guys then she goes on a Friday, this helps the single guys to guess that a single woman or a coupe who go on a Friday may want to engage in a single male. A lot of clubs have greedy girls so another night for single males. The bi nights allow single males and many other nights. It is nice for us and others who like to meet couples. We think clubs should have a couples night as all the singles get the rest of the week. We get one night. We always choose clubs with a couples night.
So to the single male, go on a single males night, be respectful, do not follow people, talk to people. If a couple go to a singles night then they should expect to be approached, they should also expect privacy if they say no. We tried a singles night and a guy followed us and we said no, then we had him following us asking why. We left the place. It is a shame that there are a portion of the single males who spoil it for the rest. Our view is based upon the fact that single males nights are uncomfortable for that reason. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Our personal preference is couples nights. However we are a couple who want to meet a couple. There are single females out there who want to meet single males. So for example. Most clubs have single guys allowed in on a Friday and couples only on a Saturday. This means if a woman wants single guys then she goes on a Friday, this helps the single guys to guess that a single woman or a coupe who go on a Friday may want to engage in a single male. A lot of clubs have greedy girls so another night for single males. The bi nights allow single males and many other nights. It is nice for us and others who like to meet couples. We think clubs should have a couples night as all the singles get the rest of the week. We get one night. We always choose clubs with a couples night.
So to the single male, go on a single males night, be respectful, do not follow people, talk to people. If a couple go to a singles night then they should expect to be approached, they should also expect privacy if they say no. We tried a singles night and a guy followed us and we said no, then we had him following us asking why. We left the place. It is a shame that there are a portion of the single males who spoil it for the rest. Our view is based upon the fact that single males nights are uncomfortable for that reason. "
That really is a shame. I've no idea why people who can't take rejection well, however polite, decide to ruin other peoples' nights for their own selfish ends. Or have the arrogance to assume that because a couple/lady/male is at a swinging club, they're obliged to have sex there and then.
But thank you everyone for your help and advice. I am still new to all of this, and people have to start somewhere! |
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"La Chambre in Sheffield accepts single males on Fridays and Sundays. As long as you treat everyone with respect you'll be fine.
See the website and have a chat to people. We're a friendly bunch.
If that's a bit far I'm sure there are plenty of choices nearby."
Our first time in lc a few years ago was on a Friday night , a spur of the moment decision by both of us, nervous as hell we stepped in , all was good until we were constantly followed by groups of men wankin under their towels and waiting like hungry dogs waiting to be fed, as it happens we haven't been again on a Friday since , just Saturday nights x |
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"but I don't really have the time, nor the energy, to trawl through the masses of forum topics to find them.
If you can;t be bothered then why would you expect anyone to bother with a detailed answer?
Short answer: if single men are admitted it is fair to assume that most, if not all attending that night have no problem with single men.
Long answer: read the countless other threads
Unsure as to why you felt the need to post this, to be honest. You would've saved yourself some time in staying on your high horse.
I clearly put the time into the post, and it's just much simpler to keep track of the posts by creating my own one on Fab Mobile. That being said, I don't particularly know why I feel like I need to justify myself."
|
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
"Depends.
If you go to a club, spend the whole night following couples and women around, barging into closed rooms, and furiously wanking whenever anything remotely sexy walks past you, then you aren't going to be received especially well.
However, if you go, speak to people like you would in a normal pub or club, don't have any expectations, and wait to be invited, then you will be received rather well. "
|
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
"La Chambre in Sheffield accepts single males on Fridays and Sundays. As long as you treat everyone with respect you'll be fine.
See the website and have a chat to people. We're a friendly bunch.
If that's a bit far I'm sure there are plenty of choices nearby.
Our first time in lc a few years ago was on a Friday night , a spur of the moment decision by both of us, nervous as hell we stepped in , all was good until we were constantly followed by groups of men wankin under their towels and waiting like hungry dogs waiting to be fed, as it happens we haven't been again on a Friday since , just Saturday nights x"
That sounds terrible. Who do these clowns think they are doing?? J |
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Im going to add. I am a single female. No fbs fwb bf husband other label.
I go to selected clubs on my own.
I've never had a problem with men hounding me. And i wouldn't let men 'puppy' me.
If i feel someone (gender/marital status irrelevant ) is too close for my comfort or is getting the wrong idea. I give the look.
That look very clearly shows that Im not amused, going to tolerate, or entertain anything. Even in clubs very very man heavy.
There is no need to be rude or abrupt but my body language is very clear & if Im in conversation with someone and they ask 'what Im looking for' i politely tell them I'll know if/when i see it.
Men be them single or couple halves are in the main polite & respectful. So i treat them as such.
Any male or female making someone uncomfortable should be told clear, firm & polite. As opposed to being ignored. |
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