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Yellow Card
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By *tasia OP Couple
over a year ago
West Bromwich |
We're about to try an experiment aimed at reducing/eliminating poor behaviour within the club. Wonder what the forum thinks of the idea? 
Staff have the ability to give someone a Yellow Card. It states:
You have been awarded a Yellow Card warning. This may be for any of the following reasons. * Loitering around play areas *Over usage of the Jacuzzi area *Failing to make polite approaches *Poor personal hygiene *Touching without permission *Breaking club rules.
This card will result in one of two options, removal of the card if action is taken to improve, or club membership revoked. Its down to you now.
The aim is to cut out those continue to flout rules and advice. Its not just a singles ticket either as couples can be just as guilty at times. Its a plea from us to improve, a shot across the bows before more drastic action is taken.
We're after a club where anyone can come along and feel perfectly safe and relaxed, and that wallies are no longer tolerated. But will it work???? |
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I think it will lead to some stropping off after throwing a tantrum....
Having said that depending on the offense do you want them in the club?
I think it will take strong memebers of staff to walk up to say, a group of fella's and yellow card them all for loitering.
Lastly, how will you record if there has been a previous offense? Or is this for only one night?
It will only work if you follow through with the threat after the first yellow card has been given to a person. |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
I gather this would be for everyone. Men, women and couples.
Think it could be highly embarrassing for the person receiving it. I don't understand overuse of the jacuzzi though.
If it was done discreetly I think it's good to be reminded of the club rules and etiquette. |
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Oh and for two of those 'offenses' above personally I'd show them the door straight away with no sort of warning system.
If someone can't demonstrate manners or is touching in-appropriately they are going to seriously upset your patrons and damage your clubs reputation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Overuse of the Jacuzzi?
WTF  Singles sitting in all night long waiting for couples to enter."
That drives us mad at clubs, and to add to the post above we think an instant throw out should also be for poor hygiene. We have come across it (at a distance ) in a club and it is inexcusable. |
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By *tasia OP Couple
over a year ago
West Bromwich |
"cant see the point in a card system really, if its something against your rules depending how bad just a warning to correct it will be good enough, otherwise its goodbye, simples"
Not that black and white at times...hence the idea. Yes of course anyone who breaks rules blatantly is shown the door, but there are occasions when just a warning is needed, but slightly more than a word in the ear.
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"Overuse of the Jacuzzi?
WTF Singles sitting in all night long waiting for couples to enter."
It depends on their behaviour when a couple does enter. Surely sitting in a jacuzzi for an hour making polite conversation is more enjoyable than hanging out by the bar all night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your admitting to having a problem with bad manners, poor hygiene and poor etiquette from some members? Why give them a second chance?
These things should be reiterated, if they really need to be, on their first visit to the club, there really is no excuses! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Perhaps a second chance should be given as you are suggesting but I do tend to wonder how people can swing and have personal hygiene problems.
I'm not disputing it happens but just find it baffling |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Funny how people think this is a bad idea and so quick to critique a club for the so called admittance of " Bad patrons "
Personally think its a good idea and also thin Xtasia should be applauded for not only getting peoples feedback first but also taking steps to stop the poor behaviour of some ! 
Poor behaviour is not always back and white and whilst we agree extreme cases should be removed immediately, there has to be a measure of judgement on the situation if its not that clear cut.
Fair play to Paul and Flirt for looking at steps which are fair and respectful to both the visitors and offenders.
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By *acnShellCouple
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"
Perhaps a second chance should be given as you are suggesting but I do tend to wonder how people can swing and have personal hygiene problems.
I'm not disputing it happens but just find it baffling"
We have recently had an issue when using the glory holes. Guys who don't wash after performing elsewhere first. Tastes of durex etc. Not nice at all and something that could easily be dealt with by this card idea rather than booting them out. Certainly not a massive personal hygiene issue, but do wonder how many guys go out of their way to wash between scenes. Is there a queue of guys with cocks out in the loo's? Only curious  |
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By *tasia OP Couple
over a year ago
West Bromwich |
"Overuse of the Jacuzzi?
WTF Singles sitting in all night long waiting for couples to enter.
It depends on their behaviour when a couple does enter. Surely sitting in a jacuzzi for an hour making polite conversation is more enjoyable than hanging out by the bar all night. "
You assume polite conversation follows rather than just waiting to join in.  |
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"Overuse of the Jacuzzi?
WTF Singles sitting in all night long waiting for couples to enter.
It depends on their behaviour when a couple does enter. Surely sitting in a jacuzzi for an hour making polite conversation is more enjoyable than hanging out by the bar all night. You assume polite conversation follows rather than just waiting to join in. "
That's why I said it depends on their behaviour. I don't think you should penalise customers for "overuse" of the facilities you provide. |
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By *tasia OP Couple
over a year ago
West Bromwich |
"Overuse of the Jacuzzi?
WTF Singles sitting in all night long waiting for couples to enter.
It depends on their behaviour when a couple does enter. Surely sitting in a jacuzzi for an hour making polite conversation is more enjoyable than hanging out by the bar all night. You assume polite conversation follows rather than just waiting to join in.
That's why I said it depends on their behaviour. I don't think you should penalise customers for "overuse" of the facilities you provide. "
If their behaviour was exactly as you mentioned, we'd welcome them.
Most of these "cautions" will need further explanation to those at the receiving end, and guidance given on how to rectify the issue. You are interpreting our use of words rather than looking at a specific issue we are faced with and trying to address.
Its the idea of giving out such cautions, an in-between measure rather than the boot, or ignoring, that we are exploring here. No more than that. |
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" If their behaviour was exactly as you mentioned, we'd welcome them.
Most of these "cautions" will need further explanation to those at the receiving end, and guidance given on how to rectify the issue. You are interpreting our use of words rather than looking at a specific issue we are faced with and trying to address.
Its the idea of giving out such cautions, an in-between measure rather than the boot, or ignoring, that we are exploring here. No more than that."
Of course I am. I have never visited your venue and witnessed these issues so all I can base my opinion on are the words you've used. I appreciate that people can and do behave inappropriately, especially when alcohol is involved and any measures to address these issues should be welcomed, so long as the rules apply to everyone equally. |
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Personally I don't like the idea of the yellow card scheme.
It seems to me to be a sledgehammer to crack a nut to be honest. I've attended Xtasia as a single male and as a couple on several occasions and it always comes across as a well run club that's very nice to be in. I'm sure there are the odd person who rule breaks including the occasional lady on a bed in heels but it seems the discreet word would suffice and if you find your regularly going back to the same person/couple over the course of an evening or over several visits then remove them.
Rules are often stretched and perceived differently from one person to the next for example in the play area with the discreet mirrors a single guy stood there stands out like a sore thumb and yet a couple whom may be in the area for a longer period of time tends to blend in and therefore gets overlooked.
Xtasias management team have tried various ideas over the last 18 months some of which have worked and some haven't or at least needed tweaking. My vote would be a no to this idea but whatever you end up choosing I doubt it would affect mine or my friends enjoyment of the excellent _tasia club. |
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Over usage of the jacuzzi
Just give me a yellow membership card 
Mind my hygiene and approach to men/women might excuse my Jacuzzi use 
As long as the cards are not solely aimed at single men but all members it wouldn't bother me |
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By *inkySCouple
over a year ago
Manchester |
Hi x We would be fine with this rule in play. maybe after a yellow card - warning then 're offend' and get a red card - bye bye?
We only go on Saturdays at the moment and have actually experienced a female half of a couple rather too d*unk and pestering so it's certainly a good idea that it would be aimed at all members. Those that play by the rules and are naughty in a good way have nothing to worry about and those that flour the rules and are rude in an impolite way can then be dealt with in a fair one rule for all regardless of if single or a couple. Personally I think it's only the rare person who would want to spoil it for themselves?
Also we cant wait to try our first Fri/Sun in the next few wks. Paul & Flirt have an amazing place x   |
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By *eordiesCouple
over a year ago
newcastle |
Does the bad "offense" have to be witnessed by a member of Xtasia staff?
Or will a "yellow card" be awarded because someone has said to you "him over there touched my Mrs un-invited". Because if it's the latter then what's to stop a couple who have been turned down by a single guy (for instance) making a false accusation.
I could see a lot of Management time spent on Xtasiagate discussions on who said / done what to who and when.
John |
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By *inkySCouple
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Hi x We would be fine with this rule in play. maybe after a yellow card - warning then 're offend' and get a red card - bye bye?
We only go on Saturdays at the moment and have actually experienced a female half of a couple rather too d*unk and pestering so it's certainly a good idea that it would be aimed at all members. Those that play by the rules and are naughty in a good way have nothing to worry about and those that flour the rules and are rude in an impolite way can then be dealt with in a fair one rule for all regardless of if single or a couple. Personally I think it's only the rare person who would want to spoil it for themselves?
Also we cant wait to try our first Fri/Sun in the next few wks. Paul & Flirt have an amazing place x "
OOps - FLOUT the rules not flour them !! Although that could be kinky bit messy probably get a yellow card for doing that |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
OP. It is unusual for clubs to actually post a thread asking for feedback. I appauld you for that. As I have never been to your club (not yet) I don't know what the people are like there. You are trying to tackle quite difficult issues. I would not know how to tell someone they smell for example.
If the problem is not too bad, I would suggest you carry on the way you are. These things can quickly become over complicated.
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By *tasia OP Couple
over a year ago
West Bromwich |
"If the problem is not too bad, I would suggest you carry on the way you are. These things can quickly become over complicated. "
lol...or politically correct. No we're just looking for different ways of tackling small problems openly, issues every club face in all honesty, but ones we feel we need to be able to tackle.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the club rules are well placed for all to read and people are reminded to ensure they are followed upon entry, why would you need a yellow card?
Therefore verbal warnings or a word in the ear should be enough. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If the club rules are well placed for all to read and people are reminded to ensure they are followed upon entry, why would you need a yellow card?
Therefore verbal warnings or a word in the ear should be enough."
that's what I meant, you just worded it much better, thankyou |
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I actually think giving someone a yellow card is much more distinctive than asking them to re-read the rules.
It's a definite you've crossed the line and will either face consequences or leave permanently.
They also then cant turn round and say but I didn't take the hint or understand I could have my membership revoked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I actually think giving someone a yellow card is much more distinctive than asking them to re-read the rules.
It's a definite you've crossed the line and will either face consequences or leave permanently.
They also then cant turn round and say but I didn't take the hint or understand I could have my membership revoked. "
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It's a tricky one, as there are some good arguments for it.
Personally I think a quiet word with the insinuation that its been noted would suffice.
If you hand out a warning there a few potential issues with this
1 - it's black and white - you've had a warning, if anyone else gets gist of it they'll make up their own reasons why someone has received one.
2 - You hand someone a card and a lot io people will get the hump and walk, for good. Now depending on the "offence" that may not be a bad thing, but a polite word could leave everyone happy without any stigma attached.
3 - By openly introducing a warning system of any kind, psychologically there will be those who see this as a chance to play their "get out of jail free card". Thus, you may actually be encouraging mild bad behaviour. "It's ok ill just get a warning"
4 - it goes against the very foundation of what swinging us about - trust. People are trusted to be well behaved and clean - if they're not, tgey are out. Explain the rules up front, as you do, and then deal with any cases on an individual basis.
If someone isn't washing between play or touching in appropriately do you really want them anyway?
I think the club has excellent facilities and im sure has a really bright future, and you have to be applauded for continually trying to improve it.
All the best,
D&K
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Novel idea, perhaps get Howard Webb or some other premiership ref to walk round the club with a whistle and note book!
Surely if a member is behaving inappropriately the management have a word and if there is no improvement in said behaviour the person is ejected? That said premature ejection can be a very embarrassing thing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Novel idea, perhaps get Howard Webb or some other premiership ref to walk round the club with a whistle and note book!
"
What was the ref's name that has now retired, the guy with the bald head, We will have him as he was sex on legs |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
If we say that going to a club is no guarantee of play, and you say by law you are paying for the use of the facilities , I don't see what "overuse of the jacuzzi" is going to accomplish....
That me guilty as charged, you may as well give me my cards now before I even think of stepping foot inside your establishment......
Short of saying, for example, you can only use it 15 minutes at a time, or 15 minutes per night... And you are going to have some sort of warden to check times for everyone... I don't see how it is going to be workable....
What next.... Overuse of playrooms due to "space limits"
Inappropriate touching is inappropriate touching regardless of where it happens... And any good club I believe is fairly well self policing in that aspect... And if anything happens let them come to you!
I have seen more issue in club with the amount of loud behaviour caused by people drinking too much... Maybe that should be stamped down on as draconian is you are being with other issues |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Overuse of the Jacuzzi?
WTF Singles sitting in all night long waiting for couples to enter.
It depends on their behaviour when a couple does enter. Surely sitting in a jacuzzi for an hour making polite conversation is more enjoyable than hanging out by the bar all night. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Overuse of the Jacuzzi?
WTF Singles sitting in all night long waiting for couples to enter.
It depends on their behaviour when a couple does enter. Surely sitting in a jacuzzi for an hour making polite conversation is more enjoyable than hanging out by the bar all night. "
Thanks for posting this, singles appear to be good enough to pay membership but we all seem to be tarred with the same brush |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Perhaps a second chance should be given as you are suggesting but I do tend to wonder how people can swing and have personal hygiene problems.
I'm not disputing it happens but just find it bafflingWe have recently had an issue when using the glory holes. Guys who don't wash after performing elsewhere first. Tastes of durex etc. Not nice at all and something that could easily be dealt with by this card idea rather than booting them out. Certainly not a massive personal hygiene issue, but do wonder how many guys go out of their way to wash between scenes. Is there a queue of guys with cocks out in the loo's? Only curious "
How about installing some of those devices you see on golf courses?
Modify them a bit but a golf ball washer at the entrance to the glory holes sounds perfect  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Perhaps a second chance should be given as you are suggesting but I do tend to wonder how people can swing and have personal hygiene problems.
I'm not disputing it happens but just find it bafflingWe have recently had an issue when using the glory holes. Guys who don't wash after performing elsewhere first. Tastes of durex etc. Not nice at all and something that could easily be dealt with by this card idea rather than booting them out. Certainly not a massive personal hygiene issue, but do wonder how many guys go out of their way to wash between scenes. Is there a queue of guys with cocks out in the loo's? Only curious
How about installing some of those devices you see on golf courses?
Modify them a bit but a golf ball washer at the entrance to the glory holes sounds perfect "
Maybe a fluffier too?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seems to be a bit aggressive to me, and would most likely cause more trouble...than the troubles that are cause you trouble.....
A quiet word in your ear.... and the appropriate words and manner, to the level suited for each occasion/person.
For repeat offenders .. ban them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not sure how this will come across, but as someone who has never visited any club or met any like minded couples (very new to this) the idea is sound, but makes it seem a lot more daunting to visit. Only for the reason "what is acceptable way to approach" or "what classes as loitering in a play area".
I read the guides in the forum but the idea in practice seems dauntingly subjective.
Maybe I am asking silly newbie questions and in 12 months time I will be laughing about it....I just hope this makes some sense.
B x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We're about to try an experiment aimed at reducing/eliminating poor behaviour within the club. Wonder what the forum thinks of the idea?
Staff have the ability to give someone a Yellow Card. It states:
You have been awarded a Yellow Card warning. This may be for any of the following reasons. * Loitering around play areas *Over usage of the Jacuzzi area *Failing to make polite approaches *Poor personal hygiene *Touching without permission *Breaking club rules.
This card will result in one of two options, removal of the card if action is taken to improve, or club membership revoked. Its down to you now.
The aim is to cut out those continue to flout rules and advice. Its not just a singles ticket either as couples can be just as guilty at times. Its a plea from us to improve, a shot across the bows before more drastic action is taken.
We're after a club where anyone can come along and feel perfectly safe and relaxed, and that wallies are no longer tolerated. But will it work????"
As long as people are aware of receiving it are told what its for and they can address it and it isn't misused then fine its a great idea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have certainly put me off visiting your club.
I am an adult and have a reasonable education,
If I behaved badly, I would expect to be asked to either leave or someone had a word with me explaining.
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"Overuse of the Jacuzzi?
WTF Singles sitting in all night long waiting for couples to enter."
Sorry but I spend most of the night in the Jacuzzi when I go to chams. Not in a predatory way but it's my favourite place. I'd hate to feel like I was on a time limit using a facility I have paid entrance fees to use. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Overuse of the Jacuzzi?
WTF Singles sitting in all night long waiting for couples to enter.
Sorry but I spend most of the night in the Jacuzzi when I go to chams. Not in a predatory way but it's my favourite place. I'd hate to feel like I was on a time limit using a facility I have paid entrance fees to use. "
That's not the issue as ha been explianed,everyone has seen the situation.sittingbthere waiting,evenly spread so couples have to squeeze in.
We went a club this weekend and looked at the jacuzzi,there was two male friends chatting.fine we will go in.in the changing room was a man who just got out and had been there for ages.he was dressing and going,saw us and came back in.the two friends were 100% spot on chatting.this other bloke never said a word,just watching nik.we got out to leave an he followed u out and got dressed.
Strange. |
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By *tasia OP Couple
over a year ago
West Bromwich |
Everyone's getting the wrong end of the stick with this one, especially those who have never been here yet!! Firstly, its an experiment, openly chatted about to see if it will work. Its aimed at a few people who haven't seriously broken club rules, but are starting to get a little tedious in their behaviour patterns. They are the people everyone complains about when visiting clubs around the country, regardless of the venue. The people who follow, when body language clearly states not interested. That wait in play areas, rather than make polite conversation elsewhere first, that watch far too closely to be comfortable, etc. Yes, if a serious breach occurs the person will be shown the door, and we're certainly not worried about having a word in the ear of someone, its just something a little more "concrete" than that. We used a card for the first time last night. The individual came out of his way to spend time with us chatting about the issue, saw our point of view and promised to alter his behaviour accordingly. It was far more beneficial than a quick " please don't do that" comment in the corridor. The Jacuzzi issue the previous post has identified with, someone who actually visits the club. When someone turns around and jumps back in every time female flesh heads in that direction, but makes no effort to chat socially, it gets a little ...annoying, but no rules really broken.
Anyway, consensus on the forum seems to be against the idea. Thanks to all for their views. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't any views either way as can see plusses and disadvantages and havent been yet x but I am visiting on 22nd Nov and really excited - its great to see a club ask for feedback on an idea and take that on board xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree with densol
Its good to see a club been pro active and looking at other ideas and asking for feedback.
Don't see any other clubs really doing the same.
for the owners |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Agree with densol
Its good to see a club been pro active and looking at other ideas and asking for feedback.
Don't see any other clubs really doing the same.
for the owners "
+1 this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Agree with densol
Its good to see a club been pro active and looking at other ideas and asking for feedback.
Don't see any other clubs really doing the same.
for the owners "
Totally agree with this. Xtasia is very much on our to do list primarily because of the attitude shown on the forums. Not just threads like this looling to improve things but also their general openness
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I think this is a good idea, I've seen all the behaviours mentioned this is designed to address and sometimes it does need more then a "word in the ear".
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I'm intrigued as to what constitutes personal hygiene issues. So if you were say to get hot a sweaty in a play room does this mean an offence? Very difficult to police. I totally get where you are coming from though. The amount of times I've had to endure conversations with people with really bad breath or BO leaning over me trying to chat me up in their d*unken state. Urrrghhhh. Be interested how you then deal with smokers. Some would consider that offensive. I don't but, some would. Many blurred boundaries I think.
I don't think over all it's a bad idea though but essentially it's just a discrete chat with the offender and a cross against their name in the register as such and if happens again then yeah boot them if it's a serious issue.
Surely that is more or less what happens anyway?
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Well I think this is a good idea, I've seen all the behaviours mentioned this is designed to address and sometimes it does need more then a "word in the ear".
"
And some clubs ignore bad behaviour, I agree I think its a good idea, if you adhere to the club rules, whats the problem? |
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By *tasia OP Couple
over a year ago
West Bromwich |
"Over usage of the jacuzzi?? What a daft rule from someone who loves lazing in a jacuzzi. What are you going to do, get a stop watch out "
Shame you read the first message, then shot straight to the bottom with a reply. You'll find inbetween these two messages lots of constructive debate over the meaning of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Overuse of the Jacuzzi?
WTF Singles sitting in all night long waiting for couples to enter."
Having never been to the club in question based on this i never will people especially single men pay excessove costs as it is and then to be told you are in one area for too long and move on is frankly appaling way to treat people will the same apply to single women or couples because believe it or not most men behave and anyone whether it be singles or couple shoukd expect to be able to use the facilities as they see fit as long as behavioural rules are adhered too.
Whats tge difference between sitting at the bar all night and jacuzzi absolutely zero its about behaviour.
Very disappointed with the attitude shown. |
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By *tasia OP Couple
over a year ago
West Bromwich |
"Overuse of the Jacuzzi?
WTF Singles sitting in all night long waiting for couples to enter.
Having never been to the club in question based on this i never will people especially single men pay excessove costs as it is and then to be told you are in one area for too long and move on is frankly appaling way to treat people will the same apply to single women or couples because believe it or not most men behave and anyone whether it be singles or couple shoukd expect to be able to use the facilities as they see fit as long as behavioural rules are adhered too.
Whats tge difference between sitting at the bar all night and jacuzzi absolutely zero its about behaviour.
Very disappointed with the attitude shown."
Yet another who reads first message then jumps into a reply....the idea of a thread is to read...the thread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yet another who reads first message then jumps into a reply....the idea of a thread is to read...the thread."
For someone who deals with the public, you are not doing yourself any favours, yellow cards, time limits and sniffing peoples armpits,
I am sure you have alienated lots of people with this daft idea  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Yet another who reads first message then jumps into a reply....the idea of a thread is to read...the thread."
For someone who deals with the public, you are not doing yourself any favours, yellow cards, time limits and sniffing peoples armpits,
I am sure you have alienated lots of people with this daft idea "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I may be too liberal when it comes to sex. In a club situation I would expect people to approach me and not be scared to. I would go to a club wanting to be touched and fucked though. That is the point of it for me. It wouldn't be for a social life. If there are a lot of naked people in close vicinity I would expect there to be some people who didn't smell too great or have bad breath etc. I would politely tell them to get a toothbrush and go have a shower. Or even take them to the shower and wash them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I may be too liberal when it comes to sex. In a club situation I would expect people to approach me and not be scared to. I would go to a club wanting to be touched and fucked though. That is the point of it for me. It wouldn't be for a social life. If there are a lot of naked people in close vicinity I would expect there to be some people who didn't smell too great or have bad breath etc. I would politely tell them to get a toothbrush and go have a shower. Or even take them to the shower and wash them "
At last someone who grasps the reality of clubs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Yet another who reads first message then jumps into a reply....the idea of a thread is to read...the thread."
For someone who deals with the public, you are not doing yourself any favours, yellow cards, time limits and sniffing peoples armpits,
I am sure you have alienated lots of people with this daft idea "
Just out of interest how many swingers clubs have you been too ?? |
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""Yet another who reads first message then jumps into a reply....the idea of a thread is to read...the thread."
For someone who deals with the public, you are not doing yourself any favours, yellow cards, time limits and sniffing peoples armpits,
I am sure you have alienated lots of people with this daft idea
Just out of interest how many swingers clubs have you been too ?? "
We've been to over 40 different ones and our views are similar to the above.
We've never been to Xstasia so can't comment on the general level of behaviour there but if it needs yellow cards it unfortunately gives the impression that it's bad.
In our 14 years of clubbing we have complained about someone to staff once - that was a single girl. All the behaviour that is being talked about seems to have become a problem lately. The behaviour hasn't changed it's people getting uptight about it that is the difference.
Maybe the customers need to realise that a club isn't a private meet and accept that there will be people there who have different ways of going about things. It is easy to let people know when they aren't wanted, but this seems to be a dieing art and is being replaced by an over reliance on rules rather than common sense.
However, if Xstasia want to control their customers in this way then they should go for it - it won't be a club that we will want to visit though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Yet another who reads first message then jumps into a reply....the idea of a thread is to read...the thread."
For someone who deals with the public, you are not doing yourself any favours, yellow cards, time limits and sniffing peoples armpits,
I am sure you have alienated lots of people with this daft idea
Just out of interest how many swingers clubs have you been too ??
We've been to over 40 different ones and our views are similar to the above.
We've never been to Xstasia so can't comment on the general level of behaviour there but if it needs yellow cards it unfortunately gives the impression that it's bad.
In our 14 years of clubbing we have complained about someone to staff once - that was a single girl. All the behaviour that is being talked about seems to have become a problem lately. The behaviour hasn't changed it's people getting uptight about it that is the difference.
Maybe the customers need to realise that a club isn't a private meet and accept that there will be people there who have different ways of going about things. It is easy to let people know when they aren't wanted, but this seems to be a dieing art and is being replaced by an over reliance on rules rather than common sense.
However, if Xstasia want to control their customers in this way then they should go for it - it won't be a club that we will want to visit though."
My comment wasnt aimed at you guys, it was at the two posts from guys that by the looks of their profiles dont use clubs or havent even been to one ??
The point i think a lot are missing is that Xtasia are encouraging feedback ( preferably constructive ) on how to deal with the behaviour of certain individuals and for that i think they should be applauded.
At least they are doing something about it and listening to others views and at no point said its something necessary just something they are looking to into doing as a measure of control over poor behaviour from a very small minority of people.
As one of the previous posters said " If you behave and follow the rules it wont affect you anyway so whats the problem " that is a key point, if you dont misbehave or break the rules it will in no way affect your enjoyment of the night or experience of the club in any way.
I for one fully support anything a club does to police bad behaviour and applaud Paul and Flirt for having the guts to come on the forums and gain feedback, its just a shame a minority once again are out to slam something they have no idea about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Agree with densol
Its good to see a club been pro active and looking at other ideas and asking for feedback.
Don't see any other clubs really doing the same.
for the owners "
True, it's kicked off a hornets nest but all credit to Xstasia for asking |
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"
My comment wasnt aimed at you guys, it was at the two posts from guys that by the looks of their profiles dont use clubs or havent even been to one ??
The point i think a lot are missing is that Xtasia are encouraging feedback ( preferably constructive ) on how to deal with the behaviour of certain individuals and for that i think they should be applauded.
At least they are doing something about it and listening to others views and at no point said its something necessary just something they are looking to into doing as a measure of control over poor behaviour from a very small minority of people.
As one of the previous posters said " If you behave and follow the rules it wont affect you anyway so whats the problem " that is a key point, if you dont misbehave or break the rules it will in no way affect your enjoyment of the night or experience of the club in any way.
I for one fully support anything a club does to police bad behaviour and applaud Paul and Flirt for having the guts to come on the forums and gain feedback, its just a shame a minority once again are out to slam something they have no idea about. "
I know it wasn't directed at us which was why I said we agreed with the poster above.
As a constructive comment I would reiterate that a club that seems to need a yellow card system 'appears' to be one that has behaviour out of control.
Surely taking someone aside and explaining that what they are doing is unacceptable and why is the better way. Telling the person that another occurence will lead to a ban should have the desired affect. Waving yellow cards seems OTT and unneccessary.
As I said before we have very rarely seen totally unacceptable behaviour in a club. The perception of what is unacceptable seems to be changing and that, for us, is ruining the club scene - it is becoming over sanitised and over regulated. If we don't like someone's behaviour we deal with it rather than expect staff to do it. It has to be very serious before we would involve the staff.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hope no one thought I was being rash. Just as someone who has never been to a club, we are a little apprehensive on do and don't rules and etiquette.
Yes most of it will be common sense, but we are shy at best of times until you get to know us so we are just a little more daunted now.
Hope we haven't rubbed anyone up the wrong way.
B x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So basically you're saying if someone touches without permission (which essentially is a non consensual assualt) they will be given a warning? I'm not sure how I feel about that as a single female who has had an incident in a club where I was touched without permission. The club dealt with it by the man being given a permanent ban immediately.
There is a huge difference between touching without permission and smelling badly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Everyone's getting the wrong end of the stick with this one, especially those who have never been here yet!! Firstly, its an experiment, openly chatted about to see if it will work. Its aimed at a few people who haven't seriously broken club rules, but are starting to get a little tedious in their behaviour patterns. They are the people everyone complains about when visiting clubs around the country, regardless of the venue. The people who follow, when body language clearly states not interested. That wait in play areas, rather than make polite conversation elsewhere first, that watch far too closely to be comfortable, etc. Yes, if a serious breach occurs the person will be shown the door, and we're certainly not worried about having a word in the ear of someone, its just something a little more "concrete" than that. We used a card for the first time last night. The individual came out of his way to spend time with us chatting about the issue, saw our point of view and promised to alter his behaviour accordingly. It was far more beneficial than a quick " please don't do that" comment in the corridor. The Jacuzzi issue the previous post has identified with, someone who actually visits the club. When someone turns around and jumps back in every time female flesh heads in that direction, but makes no effort to chat socially, it gets a little ...annoying, but no rules really broken.
Anyway, consensus on the forum seems to be against the idea. Thanks to all for their views. "
If no rules have actually been broken, but someones behavior is a little OTT or unrequired just ask the offender to join you in the office or another out of the way place for you to provide guidance on acceptable behavior within your club then there is no need for a "card" (but it seems you did the suggested anyway, so the card wasn't really needed?)
But you can mark it on their membership though for your future reference.
Communication is the key, and it's simply an exercise in helping to educate your members on acceptable behavior.
Good for you to bring it to the attention of the forums.. Not all club owners and management care about what goes on or do anything about it.
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
some of the issue is dealing with bad behaviour... that could happen anywhere in a club... and should be dealt with swiftly if reported....
getting the message across as to what is bad behaviour seems to be more on an issue... my local club has rules of behaviour printed on tables in the social area's and sometimes on the walls of playrooms..... so ignorance isn't an excuse
like northwest cpl... of all the years I have been to clubs, I have only felt the need to report an incident 2 or 3 times... and all those have actually been people who have been parts of couples.... actually one was on saturday and that was for racist behaviour (not aimed at me! )
but using a jacuzzi in itself isn't bad behaviour... in fact by law you are paying to use the facilities anyway...
I am all for actually warning and banning people for bad behaviour... but warning people for using the facilities they have paid to use is a bad idea gone too far...... |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"
I for one fully support anything a club does to police bad behaviour and applaud Paul and Flirt for having the guts to come on the forums and gain feedback, its just a shame a minority once again are out to slam something they have no idea. "
In all fairness thats not strictly true. A number of the people what have posted have obviously got a lot of experience of clubs.
I agree that its nice to see owners asking for feedback and inputs but as with all forum posts the OP can ask for opinions and might not get back what they want to hear. Whether people have experience of the subject matter or not, they are still entitled to their opinions.
On a personal note I go to clubs regularly and I dont think this is a good idea. If people are misbehaving, however the owners interpret that, I think it should be a word in their shell-like or a removing from the club. |
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"some of the issue is dealing with bad behaviour... that could happen anywhere in a club... and should be dealt with swiftly if reported....
getting the message across as to what is bad behaviour seems to be more on an issue... my local club has rules of behaviour printed on tables in the social area's and sometimes on the walls of playrooms..... so ignorance isn't an excuse
like northwest cpl... of all the years I have been to clubs, I have only felt the need to report an incident 2 or 3 times... and all those have actually been people who have been parts of couples.... actually one was on saturday and that was for racist behaviour (not aimed at me! )
but using a jacuzzi in itself isn't bad behaviour... in fact by law you are paying to use the facilities anyway...
I am all for actually warning and banning people for bad behaviour... but warning people for using the facilities they have paid to use is a bad idea gone too far......"
But the club already responded saying the warning for over use of the jacuzzi related to the 'predators' that just sit in the jacuzzi or return to the jacuzzi following females, and dont try and talk to people.
As that is different to how you and I use the Jacuzzi, it isn't even applicable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Over usage of the jacuzzi?? What a daft rule from someone who loves lazing in a jacuzzi. What are you going to do, get a stop watch out Shame you read the first message, then shot straight to the bottom with a reply. You'll find inbetween these two messages lots of constructive debate over the meaning of it. "
Yea but I was on a smoke break at work so I don't have that long will read now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Overuse of the Jacuzzi?
WTF Singles sitting in all night long waiting for couples to enter.
It depends on their behaviour when a couple does enter. Surely sitting in a jacuzzi for an hour making polite conversation is more enjoyable than hanging out by the bar all night. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Over usage of the jacuzzi?? What a daft rule from someone who loves lazing in a jacuzzi. What are you going to do, get a stop watch out Shame you read the first message, then shot straight to the bottom with a reply. You'll find inbetween these two messages lots of constructive debate over the meaning of it. "
All I could see was someone comment about people sitting in the jacuzzi waiting for people to get in, sorry but I don't see a problem with that, I actually have more of a problem with alcohol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Overuse of the Jacuzzi?
WTF Singles sitting in all night long waiting for couples to enter."
I sit in a jaquzzi all night long sometimes at infusions don.t mean to say I.m waiting for couples lol however when they get in atleast there is then someone to talk to ffs
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Overuse of the Jacuzzi?
WTF Singles sitting in all night long waiting for couples to enter."
I sit in a jaquzzi all night long sometimes at infusions don.t mean to say I.m waiting for couples lol however when they get in atleast there is then someone to talk to ffs
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Communication is a wonderful thing. In the swinging scene, there are no product trials like chocolate manufacturers would use to get their next product honed for the market. There are no focus groups that you can consult with, but there are forums like this one for getting opinions, feedback, and comment. So well done to Xtasia for actually communicating with the existing and potential customers on an idea that they had, and for responding to the feedback in the way that they have. Also shame on those who decided that this exercise in communication would be their reason for never going to the club.
My own take is that the "word in the ear" is a flexible response to a problem, and probably better in the long run.
No mention was made about how someone would be brought up "on a disciplinary" - would it be by observation of the staff or by complaint by other members. A rigid yellow card system could be easily abused by people with vendettas against people that they don't like, for whatever reason. Complaints can be trumped up and if a rigid procedure is promised by the yellow card mechanism, then two trumped up complaints, if convincing enough, and someone is out. As a simplistic and hypothetical example, we all know that couples are "trusted" ahead of the single guy, so how will the guy ever prove that he DIDN'T touch a ladies bottom without permission? Rigid methods have their problems IMHO. Far better a discreet and flexible approach.
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It's funny how the whole yellow card debate seems to have been lost in a definition of how long a single guy can spend in the jacuzzi.
When I first went to this club long before the current owners aquired it, it was out of date with dusty plastic plants all over the place, no working jacuzzi or showers or sauna and huge big signs over couches saying whom was allowed to sit in each area and security guys that patrolled to move anyone sat in the wrong place.
Today it's a modern club that's been extensively modernised with owners whom aren't afraid to try new ideas aswell as new events and look to provide a high quality club atmosphere that's safe and welcoming to all while encouraging the ability to socialise aswell as to play.
I've stated my thoughts on the yellow card scheme earlier in the thread but if anyone chooses to think that this club is a bad place full of misbehaving people just because the owners post a thread asking for opinions about an idea to make the club even better then they are very much mistaken.
The reality is best gained by reading any of the many threads about Xtasia or it's club reviews. The one thing I have learnt about this clubs owners is that they do learn from both the good ideas they have had and the not so good ideas that perhaps haven't worked as expected and for that I congratulate them for having the courage to have started this thread in the first place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's funny how the whole yellow card debate seems to have been lost in a definition of how long a single guy can spend in the jacuzzi.
When I first went to this club long before the current owners aquired it, it was out of date with dusty plastic plants all over the place, no working jacuzzi or showers or sauna and huge big signs over couches saying whom was allowed to sit in each area and security guys that patrolled to move anyone sat in the wrong place.
Today it's a modern club that's been extensively modernised with owners whom aren't afraid to try new ideas aswell as new events and look to provide a high quality club atmosphere that's safe and welcoming to all while encouraging the ability to socialise aswell as to play.
I've stated my thoughts on the yellow card scheme earlier in the thread but if anyone chooses to think that this club is a bad place full of misbehaving people just because the owners post a thread asking for opinions about an idea to make the club even better then they are very much mistaken.
The reality is best gained by reading any of the many threads about Xtasia or it's club reviews. The one thing I have learnt about this clubs owners is that they do learn from both the good ideas they have had and the not so good ideas that perhaps haven't worked as expected and for that I congratulate them for having the courage to have started this thread in the first place. "
+1 this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's funny how the whole yellow card debate seems to have been lost in a definition of how long a single guy can spend in the jacuzzi.
When I first went to this club long before the current owners aquired it, it was out of date with dusty plastic plants all over the place, no working jacuzzi or showers or sauna and huge big signs over couches saying whom was allowed to sit in each area and security guys that patrolled to move anyone sat in the wrong place.
Today it's a modern club that's been extensively modernised with owners whom aren't afraid to try new ideas aswell as new events and look to provide a high quality club atmosphere that's safe and welcoming to all while encouraging the ability to socialise aswell as to play.
I've stated my thoughts on the yellow card scheme earlier in the thread but if anyone chooses to think that this club is a bad place full of misbehaving people just because the owners post a thread asking for opinions about an idea to make the club even better then they are very much mistaken.
The reality is best gained by reading any of the many threads about Xtasia or it's club reviews. The one thing I have learnt about this clubs owners is that they do learn from both the good ideas they have had and the not so good ideas that perhaps haven't worked as expected and for that I congratulate them for having the courage to have started this thread in the first place. "
Absolutely and nothing would put me off going other than the distance  |
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