FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Xtasia and Single Guys
Xtasia and Single Guys
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"Looking for feedback from those who visit Xtasia on the following. Currently on Friday nights singles are allowed anywhere in the club, except in the large couples room. Therefore many naturally wander up and down the playroom corridor, looking for fun. We are considering making the downstairs play area only accessible to singles if taken in by a couple. Therefore they must spend their time and effort chatting out in the rest of the club, before being invited by a couple to join them in the play area. What do members think of this idea? "I had visited your website some time ago. Is it true that you actually welcome and expect single guys to chat to couples and ladies? x | |||
"I had visited your website some time ago. Is it true that you actually welcome and expect single guys to chat to couples and ladies? x" Errr...yes, we do. | |||
"I think it might be worth doing that, but say after 11pm or something, so everyone gets the chance to have a look around and even play if they want to earlier in the evening then from a set time onwards the 'single males by invite only' rule comes into effect. "  | |||
"We think this is a great idea. Having spoken to many people who went to the rave event on the Sunday a few weeks back, this was a major factor in the couples room not being used for most of the night. The room feels too exposed and doesn't allow for any sense of privacy. When people play with couples, (or other guys) they don't want single guys leering in, you have other more voyeuristic areas in the club where that can happen anyway. I think making that whole section invite only is a very good idea, and makes it more inviting for couples to come there who can only make it on a Friday." | |||
"Hi Guys, I think Xtasia is a great club and for me, (a single guy) thinks it would be a shame to restrict single guys to this area. Personally I find it a real turn on to actually watch couples or more playing in this area through the mirrors. As a voyeur and a player,the fun for me is in the watching aswell as the playing. I did visit on the last BMFC and noticed the lights were off in a few of the playrooms which restricted the enjoyment of the voyeurs. I understand that a few may be causing a problem hence your post, hopefully there is another way around the problem as I feel the price for single guys isn't excessive but maybe expensive if single guys are restricted to enter areas only if a couple or a female is happy to escort and play with them." We hear you however, we have all of upstairs lounge, the cinema, the dogging area, and the rest of the bar area for couples who wish to perform to guys, or with lots of guys without chatting. Just feel one area would benefit from a slight restriction, and one you could easily overcome if you chatted to folks at the bar. Surely its no real issue if you are confident enough to go and chat to folks, and make the effort to work for entry. If one of those who just stalks down there watching and waiting, then yes, it has become an issue which we need to deal with in some way. | |||
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"Looking for feedback from those who visit Xtasia on the following. Currently on Friday nights singles are allowed anywhere in the club, except in the large couples room. Therefore many naturally wander up and down the playroom corridor, looking for fun. We are considering making the downstairs play area only accessible to singles if taken in by a couple. Therefore they must spend their time and effort chatting out in the rest of the club, before being invited by a couple to join them in the play area. What do members think of this idea? "Good idea, but then we dont go on a friday, as dont like hoards of lurking peeps clogging the corridors of clubs. However 2 points. It would need to be constantly monitored on the way in ( a doorman checking) what would happen if the guy of a couple or a single guy needed to pop to the loo/get drinks, whatever.. how do they get back in? | |||
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"We hear you however, we have all of upstairs lounge, the cinema, the dogging area, and the rest of the bar area for couples who wish to perform to guys, or with lots of guys without chatting. Just feel one area would benefit from a slight restriction, and one you could easily overcome if you chatted to folks at the bar. Surely its no real issue if you are confident enough to go and chat to folks, and make the effort to work for entry. If one of those who just stalks down there watching and waiting, then yes, it has become an issue which we need to deal with in some way." O No not a confidence thing or am I one that stalks down there tho I do watch. I understand the problems you face and respect you have to address it. Just ashame about that particular area. Great club, good relaxed atmosphere and thanks for replying. | |||
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"This is a method that was tried by the previous owners with little success and I believe you need to be careful not to tar all single males with the same brush. If you going to have an area where it is couples only then I agree with Obi and recommend the use of the top lounge. As a woman that does like to play with single guys I admit that a bed is preferable to a sofa to play on lol. If there is an issue with couples not liking to be watched in the downstairs couples only room then a suggestion may be to block out the window and make it a rule that the door stays closed, therefore allowing them that privacy. I think banning single males from the bottom area may have a detrimental effect on numbers of them attending."
A percentage of single guys may have spoilt it for some genuine,respectful confident voyeuristic single males.  | |||
"This is a method that was tried by the previous owners with little success and I believe you need to be careful not to tar all single males with the same brush. If you going to have an area where it is couples only then I agree with Obi and recommend the use of the top lounge. As a woman that does like to play with single guys I admit that a bed is preferable to a sofa to play on lol. If there is an issue with couples not liking to be watched in the downstairs couples only room then a suggestion may be to block out the window and make it a rule that the door stays closed, therefore allowing them that privacy. I think banning single males from the bottom area may have a detrimental effect on numbers of them attending." Now that answer surprised me a little. Didn't I see you very confidently leading two guys into the room area last visit...two guys who I guess made the effort at the bar to get chatting to you, succeeded in getting your approval, and then reaped the rewards. I wonder as well if once in the room, you were put off play every so often by overhearing comments from guys outside, etc. We aren't saying no singles in there, just the ones who work on an invite. Its the ones who just turn up, make no effort at all to interact, stand at doors all night trying to get in on the action, or commenting on it rather loudly, that we want to control better. I'm not suggesting a couples only downstairs, we have the big play room already for couples only, this is a controlled, and invited singles area, rather than a free for all. | |||
"This is a method that was tried by the previous owners with little success and I believe you need to be careful not to tar all single males with the same brush. If you going to have an area where it is couples only then I agree with Obi and recommend the use of the top lounge. As a woman that does like to play with single guys I admit that a bed is preferable to a sofa to play on lol. If there is an issue with couples not liking to be watched in the downstairs couples only room then a suggestion may be to block out the window and make it a rule that the door stays closed, therefore allowing them that privacy. I think banning single males from the bottom area may have a detrimental effect on numbers of them attending. Now that answer surprised me a little. Didn't I see you very confidently leading two guys into the room area last visit...two guys who I guess made the effort at the bar to get chatting to you, succeeded in getting your approval, and then reaped the rewards. I wonder as well if once in the room, you were put off play every so often by overhearing comments from guys outside, etc. We aren't saying no singles in there, just the ones who work on an invite. Its the ones who just turn up, make no effort at all to interact, stand at doors all night trying to get in on the action, or commenting on it rather loudly, that we want to control better. I'm not suggesting a couples only downstairs, we have the big play room already for couples only, this is a controlled, and invited singles area, rather than a free for all." If you put it like that - it is a good idea! But whats to stop the invited guys from staying there after the couple who invited them left? In theory it sounds all well and good, but it's going to be difficult to implement. Not everyone is honest and rule abiding. | |||
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"I think it might be worth doing that, but say after 11pm or something, so everyone gets the chance to have a look around and even play if they want to earlier in the evening then from a set time onwards the 'single males by invite only' rule comes into effect. " We are with you there, great idea x | |||
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"Sorry but i think it's a terrible idea. I certainly WOULD'NT want to visit a club where after paying a higher entrance fee than couples and single ladies, to then be restricted to where i can and can't go? As annadean said if you go ahead with this policy then i think you would see a very large reduction in the single males attending. As a result, maybe less couples and single ladies attending who like to play with the single guys? I understand the club is trying to strike a difficult balance to keep everyone visiting happy, but i really don't think this is the way forwad. As a single guy i was already feeling a little alienated to say the least by not being allowed to attend the Phukt 2 event, now to log on here and read this i was gobsmacked to say the least. I've always been very respectful to couples and single ladies when visiting _tasia, why should i have restrictions placed upon me now, because of the bad behaviour of others? I also thought swinging was about equality and freedom, but i really have to question that now after what i've been reading on these forums over the last week. " The problem is this. If the couples and single females don't feel comfortable due to crowding, corridor blocking, loud comments (which are hugely irritating and plain rude - and easily heard due to the open gaps to accommodate the mirrors) and occasional following by some (not all) single males - then they wont come back! Leaving a club full of single guys which I'm sure most would not be happy with. Those, as you describe, respectful single guys, would find themselves invited to join couples /single females and not be restricted by any changes - whereas those that have no concept of good club behaviour would soon learn how they could make themselves more welcome - thus improving their club experiences! If i was still visiting clubs as a single guy I'd have no issue with abiding by any proposed rule changes. A | |||
"Sorry but i think it's a terrible idea. I certainly WOULD'NT want to visit a club where after paying a higher entrance fee than couples and single ladies, to then be restricted to where i can and can't go? As annadean said if you go ahead with this policy then i think you would see a very large reduction in the single males attending. As a result, maybe less couples and single ladies attending who like to play with the single guys? I understand the club is trying to strike a difficult balance to keep everyone visiting happy, but i really don't think this is the way forwad. As a single guy i was already feeling a little alienated to say the least by not being allowed to attend the Phukt 2 event, now to log on here and read this i was gobsmacked to say the least. I've always been very respectful to couples and single ladies when visiting _tasia, why should i have restrictions placed upon me now, because of the bad behaviour of others? I also thought swinging was about equality and freedom, but i really have to question that now after what i've been reading on these forums over the last week. " I have to agree....I do see a lot of restrictions for single guys more so then any other club...I do think single guys are getting singled out here. I understand that there are some that don't respect other but the majority do. | |||
"Sorry but i think it's a terrible idea. I certainly WOULD'NT want to visit a club where after paying a higher entrance fee than couples and single ladies, to then be restricted to where i can and can't go? As annadean said if you go ahead with this policy then i think you would see a very large reduction in the single males attending. As a result, maybe less couples and single ladies attending who like to play with the single guys? I understand the club is trying to strike a difficult balance to keep everyone visiting happy, but i really don't think this is the way forwad. As a single guy i was already feeling a little alienated to say the least by not being allowed to attend the Phukt 2 event, now to log on here and read this i was gobsmacked to say the least. I've always been very respectful to couples and single ladies when visiting _tasia, why should i have restrictions placed upon me now, because of the bad behaviour of others? I also thought swinging was about equality and freedom, but i really have to question that now after what i've been reading on these forums over the last week. The problem is this. If the couples and single females don't feel comfortable due to crowding, corridor blocking, loud comments (which are hugely irritating and plain rude - and easily heard due to the open gaps to accommodate the mirrors) and occasional following by some (not all) single males - then they wont come back! Leaving a club full of single guys which I'm sure most would not be happy with. Those, as you describe, respectful single guys, would find themselves invited to join couples /single females and not be restricted by any changes - whereas those that have no concept of good club behaviour would soon learn how they could make themselves more welcome - thus improving their club experiences! If i was still visiting clubs as a single guy I'd have no issue with abiding by any proposed rule changes. A" I take your point and as i said, it is difficult for the club to strike the right balance to keep everyone happy. However as annadean pointed out, not everyone has the gift of the gab, or the confidence to strike up conversations with strangers. Guys who may be shy or find it difficult to approach couples, will be unfairly restricted by this rule, and as a result they may not want to visit the club again either? | |||
"Sorry but i think it's a terrible idea. I certainly WOULD'NT want to visit a club where after paying a higher entrance fee than couples and single ladies, to then be restricted to where i can and can't go? As annadean said if you go ahead with this policy then i think you would see a very large reduction in the single males attending. As a result, maybe less couples and single ladies attending who like to play with the single guys? I understand the club is trying to strike a difficult balance to keep everyone visiting happy, but i really don't think this is the way forwad. As a single guy i was already feeling a little alienated to say the least by not being allowed to attend the Phukt 2 event, now to log on here and read this i was gobsmacked to say the least. I've always been very respectful to couples and single ladies when visiting _tasia, why should i have restrictions placed upon me now, because of the bad behaviour of others? I also thought swinging was about equality and freedom, but i really have to question that now after what i've been reading on these forums over the last week. The problem is this. If the couples and single females don't feel comfortable due to crowding, corridor blocking, loud comments (which are hugely irritating and plain rude - and easily heard due to the open gaps to accommodate the mirrors) and occasional following by some (not all) single males - then they wont come back! Leaving a club full of single guys which I'm sure most would not be happy with. Those, as you describe, respectful single guys, would find themselves invited to join couples /single females and not be restricted by any changes - whereas those that have no concept of good club behaviour would soon learn how they could make themselves more welcome - thus improving their club experiences! If i was still visiting clubs as a single guy I'd have no issue with abiding by any proposed rule changes. A I take your point and as i said, it is difficult for the club to strike the right balance to keep everyone happy. However as annadean pointed out, not everyone has the gift of the gab, or the confidence to strike up conversations with strangers. Guys who may be shy or find it difficult to approach couples, will be unfairly restricted by this rule, and as a result they may not want to visit the club again either?" How do these guys expect to get involved then? Telepathy? Without any kind of interaction they will simply be loitering, following or watching others - not what i imagine they pay an entry fee for! And if they expect to be approached by couples/single females (less likely if there putting no effort in themselves) then surely this is exactly what is being suggested?  | |||
" How do these guys expect to get involved then? Telepathy? Without any kind of interaction they will simply be loitering, following or watching others - not what i imagine they pay an entry fee for! And if they expect to be approached by couples/single females (less likely if there putting no effort in themselves) then surely this is exactly what is being suggested? "So you just throw the shy and the less socially skilled people on the srapheap then? How very considerate of you.
I may be open to attack for saying this but i do get the feeling there are a certain element (not all) of couples who won't be happy until single guys are banned, barred, eliminated from clubs altogether. | |||
" How do these guys expect to get involved then? Telepathy? Without any kind of interaction they will simply be loitering, following or watching others - not what i imagine they pay an entry fee for! And if they expect to be approached by couples/single females (less likely if there putting no effort in themselves) then surely this is exactly what is being suggested?
So you just throw the shy and the less socially skilled people on the srapheap then?
How very considerate of you.
I may be open to attack for saying this but i do get the feeling there are a certain element (not all) of couples who won't be happy until single guys are banned, barred, eliminated from clubs altogether."Not us - check our veri's! But swinging is a social activity - not a 'you've paid to get in - here's your guaranteed sex'. Without social skills nobody - couple OR single - will be able to enjoy this lifestyle. | |||
" How do these guys expect to get involved then? Telepathy? Without any kind of interaction they will simply be loitering, following or watching others - not what i imagine they pay an entry fee for! And if they expect to be approached by couples/single females (less likely if there putting no effort in themselves) then surely this is exactly what is being suggested?
So you just throw the shy and the less socially skilled people on the srapheap then?
How very considerate of you.
I may be open to attack for saying this but i do get the feeling there are a certain element (not all) of couples who won't be happy until single guys are banned, barred, eliminated from clubs altogether."I for one certainly don't want single guys barred from clubs but understand how as a single guy you may get that impression. If clubs did stop single males altogether then we would stop attending that club as that is primarily what we g for. There are single guys that attend club with a view to seeing what it is like and finding their feet in the scene and they are the ones that may not always feel comfortable talking to begin with, as a couple I know our first few visits to a club were spent looking around and finding a feel of the place and definitely not much talking to other people. | |||
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" But swinging is a social activity - not a 'you've paid to get in - here's your guaranteed sex'. Without social skills nobody - couple OR single - will be able to enjoy this lifestyle. " this 100% as a single female that visits clubs up to 3 times a week, I make an effort with couples in the social area and I used to be so shy and had no confidence. I can't abide single guys that make no effort socially. Being shy is not a good enough excuse. If your too shy to chat, then surely your too shy to have sex with a stranger??? | |||
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"I think removing the mirrors and blocking the window will cut the number of people stood in the corridor (it's not just single guys that stand in the corridors, also full of couples) " agreed | |||
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"Sorry but i think it's a terrible idea. I certainly WOULD'NT want to visit a club where after paying a higher entrance fee than couples and single ladies, to then be restricted to where i can and can't go? As annadean said if you go ahead with this policy then i think you would see a very large reduction in the single males attending. As a result, maybe less couples and single ladies attending who like to play with the single guys? I understand the club is trying to strike a difficult balance to keep everyone visiting happy, but i really don't think this is the way forwad. As a single guy i was already feeling a little alienated to say the least by not being allowed to attend the Phukt 2 event, now to log on here and read this i was gobsmacked to say the least. I've always been very respectful to couples and single ladies when visiting _tasia, why should i have restrictions placed upon me now, because of the bad behaviour of others? I also thought swinging was about equality and freedom, but i really have to question that now after what i've been reading on these forums over the last week. " I totally agree. If the issue is congestion then the public spaces need re designing. When I visit a club with my female fb, she wants to see the single males and chooses who she wants to join us. A private room can be used with a locking door. Sometimes she wants to be watched and sometimes wants a free for all but there's no way of letting people know what we want. One club I visited in America had glass that could be switched to clear or opaque by the rooms occupants. There were also coloured lights above each door that were switched on or off depending what you wanted. Red for gang bang, blue for wanting a couple, green for wanting a female, white for wanting a male to join in etc. The rooms were occupied by singles and couples and everyone was respectful as you could clearly see what people wanted. The trouble with uk clubs is that as a single guy, you have no idea who wants or is looking for what and not everyone wants the social chit chat. In Germany, the sex kinos work well because people go for sex and nothing else. Single guys get a raw deal with high prices, certain night restrictions and bans from certain areas. It's unfair to make single guys suffer for a lack of a clubs clear navigation and etiquette. Customers always vote with their feet. | |||
 and even try to run a Swingles night. Maybe not as single friendly as the local "Sex" clubs, but certainly not taking them for a ride either.
So, back to the point. We're listening to your feedback, thank you for joining the debate. No decision has been made, we are simply discussing an issue we need to find a solution to. Your views are helping us do that. | |||
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"Totally agree with Paul ( Xtasia ) and think they have been very brave opening up a duscussion on this as its a double bladed sword to say the least. Something to keep strongly in mind is that they are giving YOU the public the chance to voice your views, likes and dislikes with a view to getting a good balance for all. We think its great that a club can do this and give everyone an opportunity to have some input. From our point of view we have never had any probs with single guys, but we have seen the pack mentality and late arrivals just wandering in expecting action ( not at _tasia ) So to come up with solutions to stop this and give the genuine, respectful single guys a decent springboard can only be a good thing. As a side note we will be working closely with Xtasia on our event ( Phukt ) to maintain a good balance for all and welcome suggestions etc so we can ALL acheive the same goal "Agree with all of the above comment and not many clubs will enter into this kind of discussion on anything, taking the attitude 'we know best'. The fact that they are doing shows Paul and Flirt are trying to keep the appeal of the club as broad as possible. You will never be able to please everyone all the time, because everyone likes different things when they go to a club. I think we should add to our original comment that the design of the Couples Only room, having doors at both ends which were open, (On the night we went) really made this more of a voyeuers room, and when the corridor outside is such a public thoroughfare as it were (With both singles and couples, so lets not put this all on the single guys here) its just not very erotic and going to make you want to jump into the room to play with others. Even when we were in the other rooms behind a door, on our own or with someone else, there is constant talking outside in what really shouldn't be a Conversational Social Area. Nothing worse than trying to have a shag while someone is discussing the latest football scores. Sure talking can happen in any area, in any club, but there is a big difference between a quick comment and a full on conversation right next to a play area, which most people would probably agree is not a turn on. Other times it was just the case of people having fun watching what was happening and talking in whispered tones which was more appropriate to the setting - but obviously its not going to be like that all the time. How one improves this is debatable, as the forum has shown and an easier solution may well present itself when the top room is redesigned and offers something more to either singles or couples. Different rules may work for different nights, but the argument of not wanting to pay an entry fee unless you have access to the whole club is a little tunnel visioned. Most clubs on the scene will have a Couples Only area, or Couples Only room, and its there for a reason. As a single, you go to the club to meet people, and hopefully get lucky. Ideally then there is somewhere you can go and play with them in the club. In the case of Xtasia, that is all of the club at the moment. The argument that you couldn't use a room or area because its given over to others to do so, doesn't reduce your chance of sucess, nor hinder your ability to speak to people. What it does do is give those who do meet someone more privacy. Ultimately, its about where people feel comfortable playing. That is the most important point. If things in a club make people feel uncomfortable, people stop coming (Single Women and Couples) which makes the numbers ratio change (More single men) which changes the behaviour pattern in the club, which makes people more uncomfortable which reduces numbers and so on. You also need to take the reflections of the comments made above with a pinch of salt (We don't mean Paul and Flirt, we mean everyone reading this forum) This issue has persumably been raised and is being discussed, primarily because of comments, more than one, we are guessing made on the night by people who have come down to the club. Only a percentage of the membership, probably around half, of any given night are members on Fab, and probably only one tenth of those contribute to or bother to read the forums. So while the feedback here we are sure is very helpful, keep in perspective that the club owners and event organisers will do their best to speak to everyone about these kinds of issues raised, and voicing them here will just be one of many outlets of doing this. | |||
"I was very tired and not very articulate so I hope I didn't come across as too bolshy. I think it's good that you are asking your customers their opinions "We thought you were very articulate and gave a very good perspective. | |||
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" Different rules may work for different nights, but the argument of not wanting to pay an entry fee unless you have access to the whole club is a little tunnel visioned. " Sorry but i have to disagree, and i don't think it's tunnel visioned at all. You may have a point if everyone paid the same basic flat entry fee, but the fact is they don't. Sinlge males pay more than couples and single ladies, so i really don't think it's fair to then restrict where they can and can't go. | |||
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"Look at our earlier post..another single guy that thinks he has the god given right to go where he likes Just because he has paid to go into a club!!! This is the kind of attitude that put us off even talking to single guys...sorry you genuine ones but this kind of comment is the main reason you need to restict the singles!!!!" I don't think i have the god given right to do anything! You've never met me and you don't know a thing about me! You seem all too eager to tar every single guy with the same brush, categorise us all as bad apples, which i think is an appalling attitude to take. I did read your earlier comment, and as i said in one of my earlier comments there seems to be a certain element of couples who won't be happy until single males are eliminated from clubs altogether. You seem to fit the bill there. | |||
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"Having never been to _tasia and based on my view that single men beong treated as pariahs. Dont get me wrong i understand the issue with lurkers but surely if there are too many then restrict the numbers coming in rather than shunt off to seperate area." That's the problem with commenting on something you don't understand. We don't have too many single men coming in, we actually are recruiting like mad at the moment to find great guys for the club, its just one area is very popular...too popular, We also didn't call them Lurkers, and have no intention of shunting them anywhere!
Think its going to be difficult to control this thread now, so probably gained enough comments back already to give us some ideas, and will consult with others inside the club over the next few weeks instead. Will keep an eye on responses here, but get the feeling it will quickly go downhill into a slanging match, which wasn't the intention. | |||
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"Think its going to be difficult to control this thread now, so probably gained enough comments back already to give us some ideas, and will consult with others inside the club over the next few weeks instead. Will keep an eye on responses here, but get the feeling it will quickly go downhill into a slanging match, which wasn't the intention. "
You're right - in an open forum everyone is entitled to their opinion but comments will come from those with no experience of the club as well as those with their own agenda - rather than those offering opinions constructively to help find a good solution.
Probably best to ask both single and couple members their opinions on site - or even via email! After all you've got all our details - or just quiz us at the bar!! | |||
" After all you've got all our details - or just quiz us at the bar!! "lol...after spending a small fortune today on sound system, I might not be able to hear your answers!! | |||
" After all you've got all our details - or just quiz us at the bar!! lol...after spending a small fortune today on sound system, I might not be able to hear your answers!! "Ha ha fuckin mint | |||
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"Please folks, we are trying to get opinions on a walkway through the club...not to start the age old swingers/singles debate on a thread. There are plenty of them to be found on fab already, please just look them up and have a shout at each other there. We are trying to find answers to a specific problem, created by both singles, and couples. "I agree, good on you for asking and sparking this debate! If only everyone consulted customers in this way. I hope this all helps you shape the future of _tasia. Good luck guys! | |||
"Having never been to _tasia and based on my view that single men beong treated as pariahs. Dont get me wrong i understand the issue with lurkers but surely if there are too many then restrict the numbers coming in rather than shunt off to seperate area.That's the problem with commenting on something you don't understand. We don't have too many single men coming in, we actually are recruiting like mad at the moment to find great guys for the club, its just one area is very popular...too popular, We also didn't call them Lurkers, and have no intention of shunting them anywhere!
Think its going to be difficult to control this thread now, so probably gained enough comments back already to give us some ideas, and will consult with others inside the club over the next few weeks instead. Will keep an eye on responses here, but get the feeling it will quickly go downhill into a slanging match, which wasn't the intention. "I'm sorry but i'm really struggling to get a handle on some of the statements you appear to make? You say you don't have many single men coming in, and you are recruiting like mad at the moment to find great guys for the club? As was mentioned on the Phukt 2 _tasia forum thread, many single guys attended (including myself) the 1st Phukt event and all were well behaved, polite and respectful. Why on earth then did'nt you try to retain these guys? What the club actually did was to alienate them all by excluding them from attending Phukt 2. A great way to make single guys feel welcome and wanted i'm sure? I can't speak for other guys who attended Phukt 1 but for me personally it left a very bitter taste in the mouth to be barred from Phukt 2, for no other reason that i'm a single male. I know you'll say you can attend Phukt 2 if you "couple up". Really i have no interest in "coupling up" just so i'll be allowed in and then having to "pretend" to be part of a couple for the duration of the evening. Its false behaviour and i'd rather not attend, given the choice of being forced into "coupling up" or staying at home then i'd rather stay at home thanks. Again, giving honest opinion, after being made to feel like an outcast, it does'nt give me much motivation to want to visit the club again now on any other night either. | |||
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"Having never been to _tasia and based on my view that single men beong treated as pariahs. Dont get me wrong i understand the issue with lurkers but surely if there are too many then restrict the numbers coming in rather than shunt off to seperate area.That's the problem with commenting on something you don't understand. We don't have too many single men coming in, we actually are recruiting like mad at the moment to find great guys for the club, its just one area is very popular...too popular, We also didn't call them Lurkers, and have no intention of shunting them anywhere!
Think its going to be difficult to control this thread now, so probably gained enough comments back already to give us some ideas, and will consult with others inside the club over the next few weeks instead. Will keep an eye on responses here, but get the feeling it will quickly go downhill into a slanging match, which wasn't the intention.
I'm sorry but i'm really struggling to get a handle on some of the statements you appear to make?
You say you don't have many single men coming in, and you are recruiting like mad at the moment to find great guys for the club?
As was mentioned on the Phukt 2 _tasia forum thread, many single guys attended (including myself) the 1st Phukt event and all were well behaved, polite and respectful.
Why on earth then did'nt you try to retain these guys?
What the club actually did was to alienate them all by excluding them from attending Phukt 2.
A great way to make single guys feel welcome and wanted i'm sure?
I can't speak for other guys who attended Phukt 1 but for me personally it left a very bitter taste in the mouth to be barred from Phukt 2, for no other reason that i'm a single male.
I know you'll say you can attend Phukt 2 if you "couple up".
Really i have no interest in "coupling up" just so i'll be allowed in and then having to "pretend" to be part of a couple for the duration of the evening. Its false behaviour and i'd rather not attend, given the choice of being forced into "coupling up" or staying at home then i'd rather stay at home thanks.
Again, giving honest opinion, after being made to feel like an outcast, it does'nt give me much motivation to want to visit the club again now on any other night either.
"Can I refer you to the thread on PHUKT 2 in which we've covered most of the reasons for this. | |||
"As a couple who love playing with single guys , it would be a disaster and we wouldn't come . As it is most clubs have couples only nights on Saturdays ,which effectively alienates us too . We had a great night on the ffff Friday night but didn't enjoy the Saturday night foam party at all as there were no single guys ! "Keep an eye out for the next foam party then as it will be on a Friday night as the club alternates between Friday and Saturday nights with them | |||
"As a couple who love playing with single guys , it would be a disaster and we wouldn't come . As it is most clubs have couples only nights on Saturdays ,which effectively alienates us too . We had a great night on the ffff Friday night but didn't enjoy the Saturday night foam party at all as there were no single guys ! "Can I direct you back to the very starting message just to check we're on the same wavelength. We're not suggesting banning singles at all, just looking at how and where we allow everyone to congregate. | |||
"As a couple who love playing with single guys , it would be a disaster and we wouldn't come . As it is most clubs have couples only nights on Saturdays ,which effectively alienates us too . We had a great night on the ffff Friday night but didn't enjoy the Saturday night foam party at all as there were no single guys !
Keep an eye out for the next foam party then as it will be on a Friday night as the club alternates between Friday and Saturday nights with them "To be fair to Paul and Flirt - the last foam party was clearly listed as couples only and mentioned the next single guys one! | |||
"Please folks, we are trying to get opinions on a walkway through the club...not to start the age old swingers/singles debate on a thread. There are plenty of them to be found on fab already, please just look them up and have a shout at each other there. We are trying to find answers to a specific problem, created by both singles, and couples. "I think you are right. Again I would commend you on seeking your customers views and opinions in an era when most companies don't seem to give two hoots. I have learned much from reading the comments here and trust that you will arrive at an amenable conclusion and I do see the value in restricted/part-restricted areas. Look forward to seeing you both soon. As for being put off from the club this has in fact endeared me it more | |||
"Having never been to _tasia and based on my view that single men beong treated as pariahs. Dont get me wrong i understand the issue with lurkers but surely if there are too many then restrict the numbers coming in rather than shunt off to seperate area.That's the problem with commenting on something you don't understand. We don't have too many single men coming in, we actually are recruiting like mad at the moment to find great guys for the club, its just one area is very popular...too popular, We also didn't call them Lurkers, and have no intention of shunting them anywhere!
Think its going to be difficult to control this thread now, so probably gained enough comments back already to give us some ideas, and will consult with others inside the club over the next few weeks instead. Will keep an eye on responses here, but get the feeling it will quickly go downhill into a slanging match, which wasn't the intention. "Your club compared to the likes of VA and Libs has too small a playing area. Xtasia is more dance floor (loud music you cant talk to people properly) and social - but if you get rid of the social area to make another playing area you get more people chatting in the play areas as there is no where else to go and chat and chill You are restricted in the design and layout of the club you took over. So on busy nights can imagine it gets pretty cramped in the play areas for this reason. VA and Libs both have open public play areas (multiple beds) so those not playing dont tend to congregate at a door openings cos there isn't one. You have caused a bottle neck, by sectioning the downstairs bit off so because it is the main play area people want to look to see whats going on etc. It's not a single guy issue at all. Those that go to a friday night event, are aware there are going to be single guys there doing what they do, just like couples do too. If they dont want single guys around them then they should go to a couples only night - it's what we do. Perhaps to allow people to attend a different night cos they cant do a saturday , then perhaps you could change the nights round, so for example the first weekend of the month it's couples friday and singles guys saturday | |||
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"Can I direct you back to the very starting message just to check we're on the same wavelength. We're not suggesting banning singles at all, just looking at how and where we allow everyone to congregate." One other matter on the subject of "managing" the numbers in one part of the club, is that you will run the risk of moving the problem from the pillar to the post. If there is a problem with "X" number of single guys using all of the club, what will be the consequences of "more than X" (you say you are building your single male membership) being squeezed into the remaining 75% of the club? What will that do to the number of guys who will end up clogging up the dogging area and cinema for instance? Unless you are cutting the numbers admitted into the club, they have to go somewhere and it could lead to knock-on problems elsewhere later...just a thought. | |||
" Different rules may work for different nights, but the argument of not wanting to pay an entry fee unless you have access to the whole club is a little tunnel visioned. Sorry but i have to disagree, and i don't think it's tunnel visioned at all. You may have a point if everyone paid the same basic flat entry fee, but the fact is they don't. Sinlge males pay more than couples and single ladies, so i really don't think it's fair to then restrict where they can and can't go." We can agree to disagree on this point, for the reasons we stated in the rest of our post. Democracy in action. We wish the club every sucess what ever they decide. | |||
"Having never been to _tasia and based on my view that single men beong treated as pariahs. Dont get me wrong i understand the issue with lurkers but surely if there are too many then restrict the numbers coming in rather than shunt off to seperate area.That's the problem with commenting on something you don't understand. We don't have too many single men coming in, we actually are recruiting like mad at the moment to find great guys for the club, its just one area is very popular...too popular, We also didn't call them Lurkers, and have no intention of shunting them anywhere!
Think its going to be difficult to control this thread now, so probably gained enough comments back already to give us some ideas, and will consult with others inside the club over the next few weeks instead. Will keep an eye on responses here, but get the feeling it will quickly go downhill into a slanging match, which wasn't the intention.
Your club compared to the likes of VA and Libs has too small a playing area. Xtasia is more dance floor (loud music you cant talk to people properly) and social - but if you get rid of the social area to make another playing area you get more people chatting in the play areas as there is no where else to go and chat and chill
You are restricted in the design and layout of the club you took over.
So on busy nights can imagine it gets pretty cramped in the play areas for this reason.
VA and Libs both have open public play areas (multiple beds) so those not playing dont tend to congregate at a door openings cos there isn't one. You have caused a bottle neck, by sectioning the downstairs bit off so because it is the main play area people want to look to see whats going on etc.
It's not a single guy issue at all.
Those that go to a friday night event, are aware there are going to be single guys there doing what they do, just like couples do too.
If they dont want single guys around them then they should go to a couples only night - it's what we do.
Perhaps to allow people to attend a different night cos they cant do a saturday , then perhaps you could change the nights round, so for example the first weekend of the month it's couples friday and singles guys saturday
"This lady raises some very good points worth taking on board. | |||
"Having never been to _tasia and based on my view that single men beong treated as pariahs. Dont get me wrong i understand the issue with lurkers but surely if there are too many then restrict the numbers coming in rather than shunt off to seperate area.That's the problem with commenting on something you don't understand. We don't have too many single men coming in, we actually are recruiting like mad at the moment to find great guys for the club, its just one area is very popular...too popular, We also didn't call them Lurkers, and have no intention of shunting them anywhere!
Think its going to be difficult to control this thread now, so probably gained enough comments back already to give us some ideas, and will consult with others inside the club over the next few weeks instead. Will keep an eye on responses here, but get the feeling it will quickly go downhill into a slanging match, which wasn't the intention.
Your club compared to the likes of VA and Libs has too small a playing area. Xtasia is more dance floor (loud music you cant talk to people properly) and social - but if you get rid of the social area to make another playing area you get more people chatting in the play areas as there is no where else to go and chat and chill
You are restricted in the design and layout of the club you took over.
So on busy nights can imagine it gets pretty cramped in the play areas for this reason.
VA and Libs both have open public play areas (multiple beds) so those not playing dont tend to congregate at a door openings cos there isn't one. You have caused a bottle neck, by sectioning the downstairs bit off so because it is the main play area people want to look to see whats going on etc.
It's not a single guy issue at all.
Those that go to a friday night event, are aware there are going to be single guys there doing what they do, just like couples do too.
If they dont want single guys around them then they should go to a couples only night - it's what we do.
Perhaps to allow people to attend a different night cos they cant do a saturday , then perhaps you could change the nights round, so for example the first weekend of the month it's couples friday and singles guys saturday
This lady raises some very good points worth taking on board."Indeed she does,,and so we will, as we design the rest of the layout. | |||
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"A simple and inexpensive experiment would be to “white out” the mirrors and see how things go, you can always clean them up again if needed." | |||
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"This may be the wrong place to comment, though I have thought about going to the club I not found the time yet. Reading some comments on here has put me off going to be honest. I am sure its a good club and have read a lot of good comments about it but as a single chap the several mentions of 'hordes' of single men patroling the corridors is off putting. I am sure the singles that attend as well as the couples would have a more enjoyable time if the numbers of singles was limited. It would also solve the issue raised in the OP. May I suggest a pre booking system for singles instead of using a high entry fee. "We don't have "Hordes", we just have a collection point. Our mix never goes over 1 single to 1 couple on a Singles night, and our pricing ensures that nicely. Its just a narrow corridor issue, and I think enough answers have now been forthcoming from members who have actually visited and witnessed our issue, to allow us to come up with some answers. Thanks to all for their input. | |||
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"I'd personally be really disappointed in this. I'm generally not particularly into women and my partner is very much into men, so part of the excitement for us is being watched by (and playing with) guys. If only single women and couples can get down into the play areas there are less opportunities for us to engage in that voyeuristic kind of behaviour. The dungeon too is through that area and occasionally my partner will invite someone to join in with some kink (or I will do the same) making an impromptu threesome. This would be much harder to arrange out in the social area I guess because you don't know who is interested in kink at a swingers night unless they're enthusiastically watching (and some people seem a little offended by it even!). I'd also hate to see the mirrors covered up. We've had some fun in the corridor watching others play and in turn that helping us to get geared up. But a large part of the turn on for a swingers club *for us* is the voyeurism and exhibitionism, which I appreciate is not a thought shared by everyone. I also think Liberties is great with the fact it has a large open area for people to play with the lovely beds. It makes for great fun to watch from the jacuzzi area or join in yourself." There are and would still be plenty of open areas to watch and be watched in, even if the mirrors were covered. In fact one of our main issues with _tasia is that there are no private rooms. The ones that are classed as private are viewable via the mirrors and that to us is not private. There are plenty of open areas and the can room to be watched in. | |||
" There are and would still be plenty of open areas to watch and be watched in, even if the mirrors were covered. In fact one of our main issues with _tasia is that there are no private rooms. The ones that are classed as private are viewable via the mirrors and that to us is not private. There are plenty of open areas and the can room to be watched in." Nowhere else with nice comfy beds though, unless I missed a room the couple of times we've been.
I dunno. I guess if I wanted it to be completely private I'd do it at home, but I am also used to having viewpoints that contradict the majority! | |||
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"Wouldn't it be easier to staff the area, signs up saying no blocking corridors, and staff asking those blocking corridors to leave. I don't think it's fair to single out guys at all. If some guys are causing a problem deal with those individuals (again staffing area would control that) instead of picking on all single males. Getting rid of the mirrors would be a good start and providing curtains on windows for couples room would give couples privacy if that's what they desire" We were there last night, our first time, and we thought it was policed really well. | |||
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"Cos we travel 3 hours to get therewe tend to go both nights and we love both nights only had one problem with a single guy who wanted bareback but he left once I told him to do one all the other guy's are gents! " I wonder if that was the same bloke we had the same problem with? | |||
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"Could be but how mental is that? Trying to put everyone's health at risk like that he didn't even ask he went to just put it in luckily I spotted that he didn't have it wrapped bang out of order" Exactly what happened with us. | |||
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"I dealt with it myself so there was no need the guy didn't make a fuss and just left" Wouldn't mind him being pointed out to us if spotted again please. | |||
"I dealt with it myself so there was no need the guy didn't make a fuss and just left" To come back another time and do the same to other people. That's why it's always worth pointing people like that out to staff/management so that they can then deal with/keep an eye on them. | |||
