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Advice for single males visiting a swingers club.
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
I only have the chance to visit a club occasionally due to my circumstances (yes, another single bloke who isn't really single, please don't judge!)
Some visits are very successful, others less so. I understand I'm not gods gift or hung like a donkey, but I am clean and polite etc
I wonder if anyone has advice about how to get chatting and/or playing. Sometimes I have been brave and asked to sit with people, or to join in if they are playing. Other times I have found people in cliques and its difficult to start a conversation. Sometimes it seems like they want you to join in, but then get short thrift. Ideally I would go having chatted with a couple/single before hand but doesn't happen often.
So has anyone got any great advice for a single guy visiting a club as I have some visits planned in mid October.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I only have the chance to visit a club occasionally due to my circumstances (yes, another single bloke who isn't really single, please don't judge!)
Some visits are very successful, others less so. I understand I'm not gods gift or hung like a donkey, but I am clean and polite etc
I wonder if anyone has advice about how to get chatting and/or playing. Sometimes I have been brave and asked to sit with people, or to join in if they are playing. Other times I have found people in cliques and its difficult to start a conversation. Sometimes it seems like they want you to join in, but then get short thrift. Ideally I would go having chatted with a couple/single before hand but doesn't happen often.
So has anyone got any great advice for a single guy visiting a club as I have some visits planned in mid October.
"
Have you got a regular repeat meet that you could go with as a couple. I find that if watching people play sometimes they will ask people to join in or if you ask then you might be allowed to play. As for judging you... I wouldn't as play with a single guy I'm here that I know is married. Xx |
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"I only have the chance to visit a club occasionally due to my circumstances (yes, another single bloke who isn't really single, please don't judge!)
Some visits are very successful, others less so. I understand I'm not gods gift or hung like a donkey, but I am clean and polite etc
I wonder if anyone has advice about how to get chatting and/or playing. Sometimes I have been brave and asked to sit with people, or to join in if they are playing. Other times I have found people in cliques and its difficult to start a conversation. Sometimes it seems like they want you to join in, but then get short thrift. Ideally I would go having chatted with a couple/single before hand but doesn't happen often.
So has anyone got any great advice for a single guy visiting a club as I have some visits planned in mid October.
Have you got a regular repeat meet that you could go with as a couple. I find that if watching people play sometimes they will ask people to join in or if you ask then you might be allowed to play. As for judging you... I wouldn't as play with a single guy I'm here that I know is married. Xx"
Many thanks for your advice. I do have someone I have recently met but it is unlikely she will be able to get away to join me. It would make it easier. Thanks for not judging too! |
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Just be sociable make conversation you will pick up vibes off people .we don't mind guys or couples watching and we do invite others to play .just make sure both male and female are keener you to join in my wife will either whisper in my ear if playing or tell me if she is interested.or if I see a guy I know my wife will. like .I will let him know .soit just depends how we feel on the night just don't be pushy  |
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"Just be sociable make conversation you will pick up vibes off people .we don't mind guys or couples watching and we do invite others to play .just make sure both male and female are keener you to join in my wife will either whisper in my ear if playing or tell me if she is interested.or if I see a guy I know my wife will. like .I will let him know .soit just depends how we feel on the night just don't be pushy "
Thanks for that! Its having the confidence and picking up the vibes! Also depends on who is there on the night I suppose! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I only have the chance to visit a club occasionally due to my circumstances (yes, another single bloke who isn't really single, please don't judge!)
Some visits are very successful, others less so. I understand I'm not gods gift or hung like a donkey, but I am clean and polite etc
I wonder if anyone has advice about how to get chatting and/or playing. Sometimes I have been brave and asked to sit with people, or to join in if they are playing. Other times I have found people in cliques and its difficult to start a conversation. Sometimes it seems like they want you to join in, but then get short thrift. Ideally I would go having chatted with a couple/single before hand but doesn't happen often.
So has anyone got any great advice for a single guy visiting a club as I have some visits planned in mid October.
"
Go more often and get known amongst the clientele. |
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"I only have the chance to visit a club occasionally due to my circumstances (yes, another single bloke who isn't really single, please don't judge!)
Some visits are very successful, others less so. I understand I'm not gods gift or hung like a donkey, but I am clean and polite etc
I wonder if anyone has advice about how to get chatting and/or playing. Sometimes I have been brave and asked to sit with people, or to join in if they are playing. Other times I have found people in cliques and its difficult to start a conversation. Sometimes it seems like they want you to join in, but then get short thrift. Ideally I would go having chatted with a couple/single before hand but doesn't happen often.
So has anyone got any great advice for a single guy visiting a club as I have some visits planned in mid October.
Go more often and get known amongst the clientele."
I think that is probably key but unfortunately I'm not able to. If only! |
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don't be "polite non pushy", this is one of the biggest myths in swinging. It will get you nowhere and you'll end up going home for a wank.
Cheeky chappie with a glint in their eye seems to be the most successful approach, but remember if the say no or give you the f**k off look, they probably mean it. |
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"The main thing is don't be a prowler like some men are. Chat to the couples. We don't bite!
Which club are you thinking of going to?"
Good advice and I will try. Thinking of the Gatehouse, Partners or new Liaisons.
 |
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"don't be "polite non pushy", this is one of the biggest myths in swinging. It will get you nowhere and you'll end up going home for a wank.
Cheeky chappie with a glint in their eye seems to be the most successful approach, but remember if the say no or give you the f**k off look, they probably mean it."
I can see what you are saying, just takes a certain level of confidence to be a cheeky chappie! Maybe I can be a bit too reserved though! |
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just chat to people socially....
It's not easy (i get really nervous meeting anyone knew, in any context!) but we enjoy playing with single men so go and chat to people.
I don't smoke (OH does) but often find that's a great area for people chatting
Ruby x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"just chat to people socially....
It's not easy (i get really nervous meeting anyone knew, in any context!) but we enjoy playing with single men so go and chat to people.
I don't smoke (OH does) but often find that's a great area for people chatting
Ruby x"
You got a light luv |
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"Thanks for broaching this topic, I'm in a similar situation to yourself, but hopefully losing my club 'virginity' really soon!  "
Happy to chat with you about this but you blocked all men. Feel free to get in touch. |
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"just chat to people socially....
It's not easy (i get really nervous meeting anyone knew, in any context!) but we enjoy playing with single men so go and chat to people.
I don't smoke (OH does) but often find that's a great area for people chatting
Ruby x"
yep... Zippo at the ready  |
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"just chat to people socially....
It's not easy (i get really nervous meeting anyone knew, in any context!) but we enjoy playing with single men so go and chat to people.
I don't smoke (OH does) but often find that's a great area for people chatting
Ruby x
yep... Zippo at the ready "
Best start smoking! |
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If you chat to a couple, speak to the guy first, don't ignore him, or they will probably ignore you. Be polite and make conversation.
Make an effort with your dress. Most girls and couples aren't into ripped jeans, trainers and a jogging top as a general rule.
Good Hygine, make sure your showered and clean before you go out.
Always carry condoms with you.
Never touch a woman unless clearly invited. If a couple are playing with others or other guys, it doesn't mean they want you in there as well.
Don't follow round couples or girls in packs or otherwise, waiting for action to happen. Stick with the social area and talk to people.
Good conversation skills are always a bonus. |
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The women will generally have put time and effort into all aspects of their appearance so if you think she looks good then tell her and she'll be pleased.
"Hello I'm (insert name here) and I don't get to come often/have never been before so don't really know anyone" is a perfectly good conversation opener. And if they don't encourage the conversation say "catch up with you later" and move on.
From observation the guys who get the invites are either the really good looking ones or the ones who have been sociable without being pushy. It's not pushy to suggest that perhaps they might like to play, it's pushy if you whine if they say no thanks. Oh and when someone says maybe later don't assume it's a polite let down, they probably do mean maybe later.
So work the room, dish out compliments if you're thinking them and don't assume that everything other than a "lets play now" is a no. But do move on, don't linger around a couple. Most couples like to have a little confer and won't make any decisions till they have so move on and chat to other people.
Finally don't badmouth anyone. You never know who is friends with who, so keep negatives to yourself. If a guy is positive, friendly and pleasant then I may well point him out to a friend even if he's not my type but bad press gets around quicker than good press. |
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"The women will generally have put time and effort into all aspects of their appearance so if you think she looks good then tell her and she'll be pleased.
"Hello I'm (insert name here) and I don't get to come often/have never been before so don't really know anyone" is a perfectly good conversation opener. And if they don't encourage the conversation say "catch up with you later" and move on.
From observation the guys who get the invites are either the really good looking ones or the ones who have been sociable without being pushy. It's not pushy to suggest that perhaps they might like to play, it's pushy if you whine if they say no thanks. Oh and when someone says maybe later don't assume it's a polite let down, they probably do mean maybe later.
So work the room, dish out compliments if you're thinking them and don't assume that everything other than a "lets play now" is a no. But do move on, don't linger around a couple. Most couples like to have a little confer and won't make any decisions till they have so move on and chat to other people.
Finally don't badmouth anyone. You never know who is friends with who, so keep negatives to yourself. If a guy is positive, friendly and pleasant then I may well point him out to a friend even if he's not my type but bad press gets around quicker than good press."
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"If you chat to a couple, speak to the guy first, don't ignore him, or they will probably ignore you. Be polite and make conversation.
Make an effort with your dress. Most girls and couples aren't into ripped jeans, trainers and a jogging top as a general rule.
Good Hygine, make sure your showered and clean before you go out.
Always carry condoms with you.
Never touch a woman unless clearly invited. If a couple are playing with others or other guys, it doesn't mean they want you in there as well.
Don't follow round couples or girls in packs or otherwise, waiting for action to happen. Stick with the social area and talk to people.
Good conversation skills are always a bonus."
Great advice and I think I follow most of that already but will keep in mind. Thankyou x |
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"The women will generally have put time and effort into all aspects of their appearance so if you think she looks good then tell her and she'll be pleased.
"Hello I'm (insert name here) and I don't get to come often/have never been before so don't really know anyone" is a perfectly good conversation opener. And if they don't encourage the conversation say "catch up with you later" and move on.
From observation the guys who get the invites are either the really good looking ones or the ones who have been sociable without being pushy. It's not pushy to suggest that perhaps they might like to play, it's pushy if you whine if they say no thanks. Oh and when someone says maybe later don't assume it's a polite let down, they probably do mean maybe later.
So work the room, dish out compliments if you're thinking them and don't assume that everything other than a "lets play now" is a no. But do move on, don't linger around a couple. Most couples like to have a little confer and won't make any decisions till they have so move on and chat to other people.
Finally don't badmouth anyone. You never know who is friends with who, so keep negatives to yourself. If a guy is positive, friendly and pleasant then I may well point him out to a friend even if he's not my type but bad press gets around quicker than good press."
A very comprehensive post with some great examples. Much appreciated. I think I may be able to be more confidentwith my approaches. I guess most couples dont mind an Iinitial Iintroduction as long as they dont feel harassed. . Hoping the people I meet will be as open as those contributing to this post! |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"The women will generally have put time and effort into all aspects of their appearance so if you think she looks good then tell her and she'll be pleased.
"Hello I'm (insert name here) and I don't get to come often/have never been before so don't really know anyone" is a perfectly good conversation opener. And if they don't encourage the conversation say "catch up with you later" and move on.
From observation the guys who get the invites are either the really good looking ones or the ones who have been sociable without being pushy. It's not pushy to suggest that perhaps they might like to play, it's pushy if you whine if they say no thanks. Oh and when someone says maybe later don't assume it's a polite let down, they probably do mean maybe later.
So work the room, dish out compliments if you're thinking them and don't assume that everything other than a "lets play now" is a no. But do move on, don't linger around a couple. Most couples like to have a little confer and won't make any decisions till they have so move on and chat to other people.
Finally don't badmouth anyone. You never know who is friends with who, so keep negatives to yourself. If a guy is positive, friendly and pleasant then I may well point him out to a friend even if he's not my type but bad press gets around quicker than good press."
this process has worked for me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nobody will feel harrassed if you went up to a girl and say ' I hope you don't mimd me saying but you do look very lovely.'
Tone is everything though, I get away with it all the time for some reason lol
The Flash
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"The women will generally have put time and effort into all aspects of their appearance so if you think she looks good then tell her and she'll be pleased.
"Hello I'm (insert name here) and I don't get to come often/have never been before so don't really know anyone" is a perfectly good conversation opener. And if they don't encourage the conversation say "catch up with you later" and move on.
From observation the guys who get the invites are either the really good looking ones or the ones who have been sociable without being pushy. It's not pushy to suggest that perhaps they might like to play, it's pushy if you whine if they say no thanks. Oh and when someone says maybe later don't assume it's a polite let down, they probably do mean maybe later.
So work the room, dish out compliments if you're thinking them and don't assume that everything other than a "lets play now" is a no. But do move on, don't linger around a couple. Most couples like to have a little confer and won't make any decisions till they have so move on and chat to other people.
Finally don't badmouth anyone. You never know who is friends with who, so keep negatives to yourself. If a guy is positive, friendly and pleasant then I may well point him out to a friend even if he's not my type but bad press gets around quicker than good press."
Great advice, basically it's a bit like attending a works conference or any other professional do ! |
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
Lots of great advice and I will try to put much of it in practice.
Not decided which yet but planning a club visit on 18th/19th October.
It would be great to chat before had and arrange to meet up! |
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"If you chat to a couple, speak to the guy first, don't ignore him, or they will probably ignore you. Be polite and make conversation.
Never touch a woman unless clearly invited. If a couple are playing with others or other guys, it doesn't mean they want you in there as well.
Don't follow round couples or girls in packs or otherwise, waiting for action to happen. Stick with the social area and talk to people."
Would say those three are the most important ones
...... ignoring the male of the couple, not a good move. We know you want to play with the lady but it blows your chance if you only talk to her and usually ends with either "the look" or being told to jog on
....... uninvited touching or persistent encroachment in public play rooms hoping for a sneaky feel..... not a good idea, previous results will follow
......... following people around, consistent attendance or following people around will not wear peoples resolve down, it has the opposite effect
We speak from experience on this as these are the three most annoying traits we have come across |
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"I only have the chance to visit a club occasionally due to my circumstances (yes, another single bloke who isn't really single, please don't judge!)
Some visits are very successful, others less so. I understand I'm not gods gift or hung like a donkey, but I am clean and polite etc
I wonder if anyone has advice about how to get chatting and/or playing. Sometimes I have been brave and asked to sit with people, or to join in if they are playing. Other times I have found people in cliques and its difficult to start a conversation. Sometimes it seems like they want you to join in, but then get short thrift. Ideally I would go having chatted with a couple/single before hand but doesn't happen often.
So has anyone got any great advice for a single guy visiting a club as I have some visits planned in mid October.
Go more often and get known amongst the clientele."
This
Stood me in good sted.When you know people,you treat it more like your local pub or social club.So you come across as less desperate,and (in my experience) Couples and single ladies are more likely to give you the time of day.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't do what a single guy did to us last night. After an initial bit of play he was stuck to us like a bloody limpet. Totally ruined our night as we couldn't move without him being there. |
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"don't be "polite non pushy", this is one of the biggest myths in swinging. It will get you nowhere and you'll end up going home for a wank.
Cheeky chappie with a glint in their eye seems to be the most successful approach, but remember if the say no or give you the f**k off look, they probably mean it."
Loved that response.
Especially later on in the evening "cheekiness" can get you quite far! Remember guys you can still do it while maintaining respect and good humour.
D |
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"don't be "polite non pushy", this is one of the biggest myths in swinging. It will get you nowhere and you'll end up going home for a wank.
Cheeky chappie with a glint in their eye seems to be the most successful approach, but remember if the say no or give you the f**k off look, they probably mean it.
Loved that response.
Especially later on in the evening "cheekiness" can get you quite far! Remember guys you can still do it while maintaining respect and good humour.
D"
Think I shall be trying this lol
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We ignore pushy guys .polite guys will get spoken to .cheeky chaps are fine as long as they don't overstep the mark before being encouraged to
All about not going too far it seems!"
And fundamentally being civilised! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have to set yourself aside from the wolf pack of single men,(the ones that seem to follow couples and women round the place hopeing to get involved). The beauty of swingers clubs is that everyone is there because they love sex, therefore you don't really need to talk about it much. Obviously boundaries need to be observed, but beyond that just chat to people, as you would in the pub in vanilla land. Women generally need to feel comfortable with someone before they'd consider taking it further. So, being funny, being honest, being genuine. If your like that then you'll be someone they want to have fun with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the Lodge we provide a small guide for single guys that they can pick up and read when they come along to the club to be verified for a play visit. We also have a downloadable guide for single guys on our website. This is by no means exhaustible, just a few tips to help you have a successful night. We love single guys they really can enhance a night of fun and it is only fair that everyone in the lifestyle has the equal chance of that. |
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Here are things not to do;
Dont wait for the male half of a couple to go to the loo and then pounce on the female half
Don't let your hands "wander" in common areas/viewing areas
Don't burst into locked rooms and start touching the female half
Don't follow a couple around from room to room especially in a gang of 3 or more.
Don't take your cock out and start wanking it someones face if they are in a play area and you are not invited.
Don't ignore the male half a couple when talking to a couple, yes he exists too has feelings and likes to be involved bit of respect for this goes a long way.
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"Here are things not to do;
Dont wait for the male half of a couple to go to the loo and then pounce on the female half
Don't let your hands "wander" in common areas/viewing areas
Don't burst into locked rooms and start touching the female half
Don't follow a couple around from room to room especially in a gang of 3 or more.
Don't take your cock out and start wanking it someones face if they are in a play area and you are not invited.
Don't ignore the male half a couple when talking to a couple, yes he exists too has feelings and likes to be involved bit of respect for this goes a long way.
"
More great advice. Thank you for posting. |
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"At the Lodge we provide a small guide for single guys that they can pick up and read when they come along to the club to be verified for a play visit. We also have a downloadable guide for single guys on our website. This is by no means exhaustible, just a few tips to help you have a successful night. We love single guys they really can enhance a night of fun and it is only fair that everyone in the lifestyle has the equal chance of that. "
Thanks for that. I will have a look!
Mark x |
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"You have to set yourself aside from the wolf pack of single men,(the ones that seem to follow couples and women round the place hopeing to get involved). The beauty of swingers clubs is that everyone is there because they love sex, therefore you don't really need to talk about it much. Obviously boundaries need to be observed, but beyond that just chat to people, as you would in the pub in vanilla land. Women generally need to feel comfortable with someone before they'd consider taking it further. So, being funny, being honest, being genuine. If your like that then you'll be someone they want to have fun with. "
Good stuff. Thanks
Mark |
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"I still haven't gone to a club yet.....if im honest, I can get a little offputted by some stories ive heard, but I might just wanna go and see what the surroundings are like. I certainly wouldn't want to get pressurised or followed round but then I could get there and wonder what I was worried about......
"
I would be happy to chaperone you if you like. Cant message you but feel free to be in touch.
Markx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my opinion a guy who's willing to join in with a conversation and banter is someone I'm more likely to want to play with.
Respect people's personal space, don't presume that just because someone is hugging another person that they're going to hug everyone. I have friends at clubs who I will hug to say hello; this is because they are friends.
Don't be one of the towel shufflers who sit there, watch the porn and have a good wank about it. I don't particularly have anything against the towel shufflers, but I personally wouldn't play with someone who sits and does that.
If you're in the sauna or jacuzzi, try and make conversation, don't just sit there gawping at the naked, sexy woman!
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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
My circumstances are a bit similar to the OP's in that it's not always feasible to attend a club. I am painfully shy in those places and I am more of a listener than a talker when I meet in the flesh...so does one just try to overcome whatever shyness and be a cheeky chappie charmer or just be yourself and have a go at chatting with a warm smile and hope for the best?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The women will generally have put time and effort into all aspects of their appearance so if you think she looks good then tell her and she'll be pleased.
"Hello I'm (insert name here) and I don't get to come often/have never been before so don't really know anyone" is a perfectly good conversation opener. And if they don't encourage the conversation say "catch up with you later" and move on.
From observation the guys who get the invites are either the really good looking ones or the ones who have been sociable without being pushy. It's not pushy to suggest that perhaps they might like to play, it's pushy if you whine if they say no thanks. Oh and when someone says maybe later don't assume it's a polite let down, they probably do mean maybe later.
So work the room, dish out compliments if you're thinking them and don't assume that everything other than a "lets play now" is a no. But do move on, don't linger around a couple. Most couples like to have a little confer and won't make any decisions till they have so move on and chat to other people.
Finally don't badmouth anyone. You never know who is friends with who, so keep negatives to yourself. If a guy is positive, friendly and pleasant then I may well point him out to a friend even if he's not my type but bad press gets around quicker than good press."
This is something I'd always remember... Thanks on the OP's behalf  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My circumstances are a bit similar to the OP's in that it's not always feasible to attend a club. I am painfully shy in those places and I am more of a listener than a talker when I meet in the flesh...so does one just try to overcome whatever shyness and be a cheeky chappie charmer or just be yourself and have a go at chatting with a warm smile and hope for the best? "
I would much rather go into a private room with someone who was quieter than a "cheeky chappy"
Be yourself and try and talk to people, strike up a conversation - even if its something mundane like the weather its a good starting point! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My circumstances are a bit similar to the OP's in that it's not always feasible to attend a club. I am painfully shy in those places and I am more of a listener than a talker when I meet in the flesh...so does one just try to overcome whatever shyness and be a cheeky chappie charmer or just be yourself and have a go at chatting with a warm smile and hope for the best?
I would much rather go into a private room with someone who was quieter than a "cheeky chappy"
Be yourself and try and talk to people, strike up a conversation - even if its something mundane like the weather its a good starting point! "
Agreed regarding even if mundane chat, Ive heard guys come straight out with "you playing tonight" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh and guys if you have to stand there and wank don't do it under the towel. Get it out, actually more polite than hiding what you are doing and sure it would be more of a turn on for the girls.
And don't stand behind couples as they are fucking and give a running commentary like a pervy John Motson. |
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
Thanks for all the posts on this thread and the compliments for starting it. Great advice given. Who better to ask than couples themselves. Everyone is different but there seems common consensus about how single guys should approach couples. It would be nice to think as well that couples would consider approaching single guys too!
Cant wait now to the 18th 19th of October to test all these tips out. Assuming I pluck up enough courage!
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Im no Brad Pitt so I can understand how you feel. Personally I tend to chat to the guys in the couples and take it from there, that way he will feel happier with you speaking to his partner and you will know if they consider fun with single guys.
I usually go with the anticipation of getting lucky once in every three or four visits, anything else is a bonus. Good luck. |
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Oh, and NEVER....EVER interrupt a scene! That can be as little as whispering to another bloke "I'd fuck that" - its amazing what your attuned to when others are about! - or as much as shoving a chicken drumstick in your face while giving a blowjob..... Yes that actually happened to us once.
One persons view of humour is not by any definition automatically the same as everyone else's!
And any of the above or inbetween will have you a avoided like the plague.
D&K |
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Some very good advice in here which ought to be carved in stone, however there is obviously that: - Oh no… Not another single guy! attitude which unreceptively put every “single guy” under one “single umbrella” and this is not always fair as indeed not all single guys are the same… I deliberately started City Slickers as a provocation that our Knights of The Round Bed can be true Gentlemen in the Lounge and Studs in the Bedroom.
As this scene is meant to promote open mindedness, in my opinion, Couples should come to terms that things have changed from those “Wife Swapping” days and single guys ought to be better understood especially by those couples who attends Clubs on those nights when single guys are allowed and Clubs themselves should make sure that those rules are implied, respected, keeping the Clubs clean from those single guys who clearly have no understanding on what this lifestyle is all about. Such steps should be paramount for the success of a good Club as indeed it is not so much the extra “single guy” the problem BUT the right kind of people who should allow to frequent such libertines places.
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For one I agree I don't mind guys coming and. chatting to me .if they are interested In my wife .I can tell them her likes and dislikes .and she finds it easier joining into conversations and having a bit of banter .as I know the type of guys she will go for .she don't like the kind who wait for me to go to bar or toilet before they make there move .and she don't like guys trying to get her to meet alone . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For one I agree I don't mind guys coming and. chatting to me .if they are interested In my wife .I can tell them her likes and dislikes .and she finds it easier joining into conversations and having a bit of banter .as I know the type of guys she will go for .she don't like the kind who wait for me to go to bar or toilet before they make there move .and she don't like guys trying to get her to meet alone .
"
Have you been yet? |
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By *i015Man
over a year ago
Millbrook, Southampton |
This is a brilliant thread, I'm thinking of going to Paradise Health Spa for my first visit to a club at the weekend.
Loads of excellent advice that I'll take on board, thank you for starting this thread Penninemark, I was going to start a thread myself as I only decided to go this week and instead found this thread, no use having 2 threads same as this one has all the advice a guy who is going on his own for the first time needs |
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"This is a brilliant thread, I'm thinking of going to Paradise Health Spa for my first visit to a club at the weekend.
Loads of excellent advice that I'll take on board, thank you for starting this thread Penninemark, I was going to start a thread myself as I only decided to go this week and instead found this thread, no use having 2 threads same as this one has all the advice a guy who is going on his own for the first time needs"
Thankyou. Lots of good advice for me and other single blokes. Many thanks to the couples for the freindly and useful advice! |
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"The women will generally have put time and effort into all aspects of their appearance so if you think she looks good then tell her and she'll be pleased.
"Hello I'm (insert name here) and I don't get to come often/have never been before so don't really know anyone" is a perfectly good conversation opener. And if they don't encourage the conversation say "catch up with you later" and move on.
From observation the guys who get the invites are either the really good looking ones or the ones who have been sociable without being pushy. It's not pushy to suggest that perhaps they might like to play, it's pushy if you whine if they say no thanks. Oh and when someone says maybe later don't assume it's a polite let down, they probably do mean maybe later.
So work the room, dish out compliments if you're thinking them and don't assume that everything other than a "lets play now" is a no. But do move on, don't linger around a couple. Most couples like to have a little confer and won't make any decisions till they have so move on and chat to other people.
Finally don't badmouth anyone. You never know who is friends with who, so keep negatives to yourself. If a guy is positive, friendly and pleasant then I may well point him out to a friend even if he's not my type but bad press gets around quicker than good press."
Very good advice.
We would only add that when you say hello to a couple do it when both are there, and say hello to both. We can't count the number of times we have seen a guy hovering then as soon as Mr goes to the bar or toilet he moves in on Mrs when she is alone. We hate it. |
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"The women will generally have put time and effort into all aspects of their appearance so if you think she looks good then tell her and she'll be pleased.
"Hello I'm (insert name here) and I don't get to come often/have never been before so don't really know anyone" is a perfectly good conversation opener. And if they don't encourage the conversation say "catch up with you later" and move on.
From observation the guys who get the invites are either the really good looking ones or the ones who have been sociable without being pushy. It's not pushy to suggest that perhaps they might like to play, it's pushy if you whine if they say no thanks. Oh and when someone says maybe later don't assume it's a polite let down, they probably do mean maybe later.
So work the room, dish out compliments if you're thinking them and don't assume that everything other than a "lets play now" is a no. But do move on, don't linger around a couple. Most couples like to have a little confer and won't make any decisions till they have so move on and chat to other people.
Finally don't badmouth anyone. You never know who is friends with who, so keep negatives to yourself. If a guy is positive, friendly and pleasant then I may well point him out to a friend even if he's not my type but bad press gets around quicker than good press.
Very good advice.
We would only add that when you say hello to a couple do it when both are there, and say hello to both. We can't count the number of times we have seen a guy hovering then as soon as Mr goes to the bar or toilet he moves in on Mrs when she is alone. We hate it."
thats a pet hate of mine thats happened to me in meets when theyve pounced on OH when I pop to loo. do they think theyve got a chance outside of the meet too by doing that? grrrr |
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
Well the time has come.....
For my next club visits this weekend. Hopefully will be visiting New Liaisons on Friday night and either The Gatehouse or Partners on Saturday night.
Lots of great advice to remember.
Anyone planning visits to either?
Would be good to have a friendly face or two to chat with!
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By *enninemark OP Man
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"We can only echo what has already been said:
Be polite,respectful and chatty
Never,ever ignore the male in a couple
Keep your hands to yourself unless invited
Don't act weird"
Many thanks for that!
Anyone visiting the above clubs this weekend? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We can only echo what has already been said:
Be polite,respectful and chatty
Never,ever ignore the male in a couple
Keep your hands to yourself unless invited
Don't act weird"
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