FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Attend, but not swing
Attend, but not swing
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For context, we are primarily exhibtionists(/voyeurs), not your more 'typical' swinging couple. We don't have any plans to swing/swap (3somes are probably our limit).
However, the opportunities to play as a couple with something of an audience feels like something only a swingers club can provide.
Any couples out there have a similar situation? Have you been to any clubs and how did you find it?
Similarly, any regular club go-ers got any opinions or advice on our situation? |
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By *aciamiCouple 2 days ago
Hertfordshire |
Ignite near Heathrow is great for this as they have a large porn cinema.
We go fairly regularly and, while we do occasionally play with others, most of the time just play amongst ourselves and enjoy being watched. |
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You don't have to swing in a swingers club, you are perfectly fine just putting on a "show". I love doing it, and, as another poster mentioned Ignite, I love their four poster bed on the dance floor (hope it's still there). I think open play clubs, like Vanilla Alternative, could be a great fit for you.
However, there are some risks involved in "putting on a show"- basically, some people don't respect boundaries and would try to come very close, maybe even try to join, without being invited to. In most cases, the "we're happy with just being watched, nothing else" works. Some may need slightly stronger wording. |
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I would second ignite. It has a number of lockable rooms with windows, so people can watch but not get in. That won’t stop some chancers from knocking on the window, but it does stop them from doing anything uninvited. |
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Agree with all of the above. A room where can people can watch but not enter is ideal for your scenario. Some clubs have "barn" type doors, some use a barrier rope etc
If you do, however, go to an open area as others have said you need to be prepared to be assertive. If anyone persists the management are usually very supportive if you run into serious issues. |
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By *oddamnCouple 2 days ago
leicestershire |
Tend to agree. We have gone many times to different clubs without playing with others. Sometimes the atmosphere, or equipment, isn't available at home. Wouldn't want the kids finding a St Andrews cross, gloryholes, or mirrored ceiling at home! |
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Sounds like a club would be ideal. Some have already mentioned ignite and other clubs will have spaces for you to put on a show without being interrupted.
I've often stood by couples who are friends when playing in public to remind others not to get too close or that they are not interested in anyone joining them.
Xtasia had a great room for this that only cast a silhouette not to mention the mirrors on the ceiling where people could see what was happening in a room.
 |
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"Agree with all of the above. A room where can people can watch but not enter is ideal for your scenario. Some clubs have "barn" type doors, some use a barrier rope etc
If you do, however, go to an open area as others have said you need to be prepared to be assertive. If anyone persists the management are usually very supportive if you run into serious issues."
Thanks for the heads up |
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"You don't have to swing in a swingers club, you are perfectly fine just putting on a "show". I love doing it, and, as another poster mentioned Ignite, I love their four poster bed on the dance floor (hope it's still there). I think open play clubs, like Vanilla Alternative, could be a great fit for you.
However, there are some risks involved in "putting on a show"- basically, some people don't respect boundaries and would try to come very close, maybe even try to join, without being invited to. In most cases, the "we're happy with just being watched, nothing else" works. Some may need slightly stronger wording. "
Thanks for the heads up! |
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"Tend to agree. We have gone many times to different clubs without playing with others. Sometimes the atmosphere, or equipment, isn't available at home. Wouldn't want the kids finding a St Andrews cross, gloryholes, or mirrored ceiling at home!"
Ah good point. Not like you can easily hide one of those under the bed!  |
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"Sounds like a club would be ideal. Some have already mentioned ignite and other clubs will have spaces for you to put on a show without being interrupted.
I've often stood by couples who are friends when playing in public to remind others not to get too close or that they are not interested in anyone joining them.
Xtasia had a great room for this that only cast a silhouette not to mention the mirrors on the ceiling where people could see what was happening in a room.
"
We like the rooms with the mirrors above |
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"I would second ignite. It has a number of lockable rooms with windows, so people can watch but not get in. That won’t stop some chancers from knocking on the window, but it does stop them from doing anything uninvited. "
Just don't go in the one with the glory hole, as some would definitely chance it. I got a shock the first time I went there, when, all of a sudden, a cock appeared through that hole! Now I make an effort to put a cushion over the hole if that is the only room available. |
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We have been to 8 clubs, circa 50 occasions
Only played with others twice.
On occasion we've done nothing at all, as the vibe wasn't there
Predominantly we've been watched and watched others. There is definitely a place for that happening in most clubs (and I don't just mean a place in a physical sense, but also as a reason why people go in the first place, the voyeuristic element.) |
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By *abioMan 2 days ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"For context, we are primarily exhibtionists(/voyeurs), not your more 'typical' swinging couple. We don't have any plans to swing/swap (3somes are probably our limit).
However, the opportunities to play as a couple with something of an audience feels like something only a swingers club can provide.
Any couples out there have a similar situation? Have you been to any clubs and how did you find it?
Similarly, any regular club go-ers got any opinions or advice on our situation?"
Nothing wrong with that at all.. swinging is a broad church! No one is going to judge you if you don’t do anything you don’t feel comfortable with…
If people get to close just quietly say no thanks you |
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"My partner and myself want to go to a club to be watched too. She doesn't and won't swing but happy to be naked around others and we fuck.. honestly can't wait."
clubs have rooms with two way mirrors
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We often go to a club and only play with each other. In fact we’ve only played with others once or twice. We both enjoy watching and being watched. Which a club provides.
Would however in the future like to find a couple to share a bedroom with and play in the same room, without the swapping aspect. |
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By *SandASCouple 2 days ago
Bishop Auckland |
Hey, we are a couple that regularly attend swinging clubs but dont swing. We have made a number of amazing friends! A 3some with another female was our limit and everyone we meet is OK with that.. we go to pandoras regularly especially on event nights, and there top floor is specifically for couples and single ladies only, and it is monitored. |
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"Sounds like a club would be ideal. Some have already mentioned ignite and other clubs will have spaces for you to put on a show without being interrupted.
I've often stood by couples who are friends when playing in public to remind others not to get too close or that they are not interested in anyone joining them.
Xtasia had a great room for this that only cast a silhouette not to mention the mirrors on the ceiling where people could see what was happening in a room.
We like the rooms with the mirrors above"
To clarify the walls of the rooms didn't go to the ceiling so anyone walking past outside the room could see in.
|
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"Sounds like a club would be ideal. Some have already mentioned ignite and other clubs will have spaces for you to put on a show without being interrupted.
I've often stood by couples who are friends when playing in public to remind others not to get too close or that they are not interested in anyone joining them.
Xtasia had a great room for this that only cast a silhouette not to mention the mirrors on the ceiling where people could see what was happening in a room.
We like the rooms with the mirrors above
To clarify the walls of the rooms didn't go to the ceiling so anyone walking past outside the room could see in.
"
Yeah, we go to xtasia pretty often, the rooms have a gap between at the top and the mirrors are angled to allow a sneaky look 😉 |
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We have over the years got chatting to a couple of couples who go to clubs but aren't swingers (like literally completely monogamous). They just like the voyeurism/exhibitionism aspects and just the adult vibe an atmosphere. So it's maybe not as uncommon as people think that some couples would come to clubs and not play with others. Which is totally fine and just your presence is contributing to the vibe and atmosphere of a good club night.
Naturally if you are playing in open areas to be watched will get a few offers to join in (as is norm) so you need to be OK with saying no thanks. If that is a bit too much lots of club have rooms you can play and people can watch from the other side of a barrier, window or even on the big screen somewhere else in the club via a video link from the room. |
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By *eper61Couple 1 day ago
Berks/Hamps/surrey |
We regularly go to Ignite (ex Kestrels/ABFab) and wouldnt class ourselves as swingers. We use our visits as a naturist spa day. We are usually there on a Thursday morning when it fist opens. We tend to get the pool to ourselves (at least of 20 minutes or so) as its quiet. We enjoy all the facilities, pool, hot tub, steam room bar and cinema etc.
We only play by ourselves, although did enjoy ourselves with another couple. It started out as voyeurism, but got carried away but only up to a point. Not saying it wont happen again but for the time being not looking for others, especially single men, but its fun to watch their technique. A firm thanks but no thanks, does the trick.
If its your first time, you will feel apprehensive, but the staff are great. Friendly, welcoming and helpful, especially for first timers. We only had one persistent guy, who wouldnt take no for an answer until given a firm 'NO'. it wasnt enough to put us off. Try a spa day it will get you used to the 'environment'. As your confidence builds, you can then decide what you want to do/try next. Remember you are in control of what you want to do. |
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I'm not sure if it has been mentioned. But the attic in derby is perfect for this. They have a shadow room where others can watch you silhouette, also lots of rooms with lockable barn doors we have been a few times although we're looking to branch out a little more |
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"I'm not sure if it has been mentioned. But the attic in derby is perfect for this. They have a shadow room where others can watch you silhouette, also lots of rooms with lockable barn doors we have been a few times although we're looking to branch out a little more"
And the jail cell! I had quite a bit of fun there with my partner . |
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"Ignite near Heathrow is great for this as they have a large porn cinema.
We go fairly regularly and, while we do occasionally play with others, most of the time just play amongst ourselves and enjoy being watched."
 |
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