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FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Is swingers club for swinging or just social🤔
Is swingers club for swinging or just social🤔
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"What are we doing wrong as the clubs we are visiting is either regulars treating it as a social with no one playing. Just chatting to their click group or couples just want to have fun with their own partner. Singles guys either weird or just there to watch. Are we going to the wrong clubs? We are a respectfully, well dressed, not bad looking couple but to get some fun is 0%. The swingers business is very hard work and we just come to our ends of our patients. Any advice/feedback much appreciated" Glad someone else has picked up on this. My experience has been the same. The couples are talking to themselves and occasionally other couples;the women are sitting alone waiting to be approached or talking to their female friends; and the guys are pacing around, watching. Intergroup interactions do not occur often and, when they do, it is mostly just an exchange of pleasantries. I empsthise with the guys who watch in clubs... most couples/women are closed off, engrossed in converdation with each other, and intimidating to approach. There is rarely any sexual activity at swinging clubs. If play does happen, it is usually between people who have come together. You are definitely not alone in your assessment. | |||
"What are we doing wrong as the clubs we are visiting is either regulars treating it as a social with no one playing. Just chatting to their click group or couples just want to have fun with their own partner. Singles guys either weird or just there to watch. Are we going to the wrong clubs? We are a respectfully, well dressed, not bad looking couple but to get some fun is 0%. The swingers business is very hard work and we just come to our ends of our patients. Any advice/feedback much appreciated Glad someone else has picked up on this. My experience has been the same. The couples are talking to themselves and occasionally other couples;the women are sitting alone waiting to be approached or talking to their female friends; and the guys are pacing around, watching. Intergroup interactions do not occur often and, when they do, it is mostly just an exchange of pleasantries. I empsthise with the guys who watch in clubs... most couples/women are closed off, engrossed in converdation with each other, and intimidating to approach. There is rarely any sexual activity at swinging clubs. If play does happen, it is usually between people who have come together. You are definitely not alone in your assessment." Yes this seems to be the way these days. People seem to go to socialise or show themselves off, "peacocking" a male friend of ours calls it. A far cry from when we first starting to attend clubs, the first hour or so was to mix and the rest of the night was for sex. We don't bother to go very often now as it's a waste of an evening. | |||
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"What are we doing wrong as the clubs we are visiting is either regulars treating it as a social with no one playing. Just chatting to their click group or couples just want to have fun with their own partner. Singles guys either weird or just there to watch. Are we going to the wrong clubs? We are a respectfully, well dressed, not bad looking couple but to get some fun is 0%. The swingers business is very hard work and we just come to our ends of our patients. Any advice/feedback much appreciated" On many club nights a lot of people go to play after 12 or 1am (many intoxicated). Your status says you were home by 10pm which is when many clubs get busier. We always go to play by 11pm so mostly end up playing with each other. A lot of people are too shy to approach others so that's why many are sat on their own. The more you go to a club the more you'll get recognised and get chatting to people. Hopefully you can have some good club nights in the future.  | |||
"What are we doing wrong as the clubs we are visiting is either regulars treating it as a social with no one playing. Just chatting to their click group or couples just want to have fun with their own partner. Singles guys either weird or just there to watch. Are we going to the wrong clubs? We are a respectfully, well dressed, not bad looking couple but to get some fun is 0%. The swingers business is very hard work and we just come to our ends of our patients. Any advice/feedback much appreciated On many club nights a lot of people go to play after 12 or 1am (many intoxicated). Your status says you were home by 10pm which is when many clubs get busier. We always go to play by 11pm so mostly end up playing with each other. A lot of people are too shy to approach others so that's why many are sat on their own. The more you go to a club the more you'll get recognised and get chatting to people. Hopefully you can have some good club nights in the future. "Agree with the bit about people playing later. When I've been to a club with my partner, people socialised in the bar area first or the jacuzzi, then play started later. You could perhaps go at a later time as 10pm is still very early. People do know each other if they're regulars at that club, maybe try a different club and see if that's any different. Even if you don't meet someone you want to play with, you might make connections & you've still got each other to play with. | |||
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"What are we doing wrong as the clubs we are visiting is either regulars treating it as a social with no one playing. Just chatting to their click group or couples just want to have fun with their own partner. Singles guys either weird or just there to watch. Are we going to the wrong clubs? We are a respectfully, well dressed, not bad looking couple but to get some fun is 0%. The swingers business is very hard work and we just come to our ends of our patients. Any advice/feedback much appreciated" You’re not doing anything wrong, it happens. Have to say when we first started out we felt similar but it really does depend on what nights you go. We find ok a couples only night couples do tend to stick to themselves, hence why we prefer a night where there are a mixture of people. As painful as you may think sometimes all it needs is the right person who’s there on the right night and bam you’re in. We have formed social groups in the club we go to but we will always speak to others and new members. Maybe try a different club! And remember when you say zero fun why aren’t the two of you having fun? That’s how we play , if you’re not clicking with anyone just go and have fun yourselves. You never know what might happen | |||
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"What are we doing wrong as the clubs we are visiting is either regulars treating it as a social with no one playing. Just chatting to their click group or couples just want to have fun with their own partner. Singles guys either weird or just there to watch. Are we going to the wrong clubs? We are a respectfully, well dressed, not bad looking couple but to get some fun is 0%. The swingers business is very hard work and we just come to our ends of our patients. Any advice/feedback much appreciated" There’s no such thing as the ‘wrong’ clubs. Any club is only as good as the people you meet while there. You only need one person/couple to make your night, and if you’re not part of the local clique, clubs can be far less inclusive than they’re sold as in here…… 
People talk about leaving before 11pm……I’m very much guilty of that, as after signing in around 9pm, if I’ve not made any connection with someone by that time, I’m bored and thinking I may as well catch last orders in a pub, then get a conversation at the bar about the shite evening I just had in a swingers’ club, like I did the one, and only time, I went to Club Play in Blackpool…..
The only people I know who thoroughly enjoy the club scene, are three solo female friends of mine, who always enjoy the attentions of multiple guys when they go. Fair play to them   | |||
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"Another thing is Wrist bands - please start giving wrist bands based on the choice, if couple or single females are open to play with anyone, they should show it via band, if they are only interested in BBC then show it too - it would help avoiding many single males chasing them. In fact forum event invite post itself should have this option. When replying to get included on the list, everyone just select what are they looking for..BBC, White, No Asians, or Race agnostic, gym fit or don’t care etc. technically this can easily be achieved by few lines of code change. " one club we went to had wrist bands they were only two and it was str8 or bi and that night was awful it felt like 2 rival gangs in a tight space .. me n hubs wore ours all night dont care what others think but alot of other's with bi ripped them off the bi guys were totally shunned ...yes i see what they were trying to do but it did not work anyway most people talk and you let people know i / we tell every ong we are both fully bi and have been all our sexual life if that puts anyone off then great as we would not want to play with anyone not on our page | |||
"Another thing is Wrist bands - please start giving wrist bands based on the choice, if couple or single females are open to play with anyone, they should show it via band, if they are only interested in BBC then show it too - it would help avoiding many single males chasing them. In fact forum event invite post itself should have this option. When replying to get included on the list, everyone just select what are they looking for..BBC, White, No Asians, or Race agnostic, gym fit or don’t care etc. technically this can easily be achieved by few lines of code change. one club we went to had wrist bands they were only two and it was str8 or bi and that night was awful it felt like 2 rival gangs in a tight space .. me n hubs wore ours all night dont care what others think but alot of other's with bi ripped them off the bi guys were totally shunned ...yes i see what they were trying to do but it did not work anyway most people talk and you let people know i / we tell every ong we are both fully bi and have been all our sexual life if that puts anyone off then great as we would not want to play with anyone not on our page" I have seen this successfully working in many clubs in US , why would I be interested in talking to someone who I know wouldn’t be interested in me at all. Yes I understand it helps with social side, but if I am not going to be sexually attractive to someone just by looking at their wrist band, I will give them a skip, helps both, no time waste and better to engage with those who are looking for someone like you…time well utilised..if you don’t get invite to play, at least you know they are into people like you..connect with them on Fab or other sites and stay in touch..you have better chance there… | |||
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"Yes here clubs don’t know how to come with a small break the ice kind of game, mostly clubs take your money, show you around, and now you are on your own to handle the environment. Yes we all are adult but those who are established in the clubs just continue to charting among themselves, newbies and less courageous people feel isolated. Another problem, immediate dress down..common guys..give sometime to people in cloths - no one wants to see your naked body the moment you enter the club, and honestly it’s difficult to engage in socials with naked bodies, so basically no chance to chat with anyone…many of us aren’t gym fit, or having large cocks, but people socialising with cloths on, have better chance to see sexy times later…why because communication matters more than BBC or Gymfit body to many. Another thing is Wrist bands - please start giving wrist bands based on the choice, if couple or single females are open to play with anyone, they should show it via band, if they are only interested in BBC then show it too - it would help avoiding many single males chasing them. In fact forum event invite post itself should have this option. When replying to get included on the list, everyone just select what are they looking for..BBC, White, No Asians, or Race agnostic, gym fit or don’t care etc. technically this can easily be achieved by few lines of code change. " It isn’t the clubs responsibility to get people talking. Some clubs run smaller events or events for newbies so maybe you would be better off at those. You absolutely need a certain level of confidence to even walk in to a club and if you don’t have the courage to approach people or strike up conversations then you will struggle with events. We know, because we use to struggle with them. We’ve had to really work at it. Not many clubs have immediate dress down, we’ve never been to one that does because we prefer not to dress down immediately. We also haven’t been to a club where it is compulsory. The day time event we do every month, most guys walk around in a towel when dress down starts. No one is expecting anyone to walk around naked but at the end of the day, if you’re wanting to play with people then others will see you naked. If you can’t carry a conversation without being distracted by naked bodies or feeling uncomfortable because people are naked around you, that’s something you need to work on or again, maybe clubs aren’t for you. Personally, if I’m in dress down and a guy is staring at my tits and not speaking to me, he won’t be invited to play. If he feels uncomfortable because my husband is naked next to me, he won’t be invited to play. Being comfortable around naked and playing people is important at clubs. I think you’re projecting your own insecurities in to the situation and that’s something you need to work on. We’ve spent three years working on our own insecurities and struggles with clubs because we wanted to make the most of going to events. If someone isn’t interested in you when they see you naked, it doesn’t mean they would have been interested if they’d seen you fully clothed and had a conversation with you. Wristbands could be a good idea but then we would miss out on speaking to a lot of people. You can make connections with people even if you don’t want to play with them. C x | |||
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"We are probably in the minority but we go to a club to have a great night first and foremost. If we meet guys / couples on the night and get on and end up playing that's a bonus .If nothing happens we will still have a great night .We find socialising to start with is a way to see if there is a connection to take things further , certainly not going to play with others just for the sake of it .Everyone is different and other people will have a different outlook on what they want and we respect that it's just what we get out of it ." Exactly my approach. I go with a female friend. We go to socialise and if either of us connects with someone then we let the other know and catch up with each later. We've had the best chats on a club night and met some fantastic people we've kept in touch with | |||
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"Yes here clubs don’t know how to come with a small break the ice kind of game, mostly clubs take your money, show you around, and now you are on your own to handle the environment. Yes we all are adult but those who are established in the clubs just continue to charting among themselves, newbies and less courageous people feel isolated. Another problem, immediate dress down..common guys..give sometime to people in cloths - no one wants to see your naked body the moment you enter the club, and honestly it’s difficult to engage in socials with naked bodies, so basically no chance to chat with anyone…many of us aren’t gym fit, or having large cocks, but people socialising with cloths on, have better chance to see sexy times later…why because communication matters more than BBC or Gymfit body to many. Another thing is Wrist bands - please start giving wrist bands based on the choice, if couple or single females are open to play with anyone, they should show it via band, if they are only interested in BBC then show it too - it would help avoiding many single males chasing them. In fact forum event invite post itself should have this option. When replying to get included on the list, everyone just select what are they looking for..BBC, White, No Asians, or Race agnostic, gym fit or don’t care etc. technically this can easily be achieved by few lines of code change. It isn’t the clubs responsibility to get people talking. Some clubs run smaller events or events for newbies so maybe you would be better off at those. You absolutely need a certain level of confidence to even walk in to a club and if you don’t have the courage to approach people or strike up conversations then you will struggle with events. We know, because we use to struggle with them. We’ve had to really work at it. Not many clubs have immediate dress down, we’ve never been to one that does because we prefer not to dress down immediately. We also haven’t been to a club where it is compulsory. The day time event we do every month, most guys walk around in a towel when dress down starts. No one is expecting anyone to walk around naked but at the end of the day, if you’re wanting to play with people then others will see you naked. If you can’t carry a conversation without being distracted by naked bodies or feeling uncomfortable because people are naked around you, that’s something you need to work on or again, maybe clubs aren’t for you. Personally, if I’m in dress down and a guy is staring at my tits and not speaking to me, he won’t be invited to play. If he feels uncomfortable because my husband is naked next to me, he won’t be invited to play. Being comfortable around naked and playing people is important at clubs. I think you’re projecting your own insecurities in to the situation and that’s something you need to work on. We’ve spent three years working on our own insecurities and struggles with clubs because we wanted to make the most of going to events. If someone isn’t interested in you when they see you naked, it doesn’t mean they would have been interested if they’d seen you fully clothed and had a conversation with you. Wristbands could be a good idea but then we would miss out on speaking to a lot of people. You can make connections with people even if you don’t want to play with them. C x " I am not projecting my insecurities- I am telling you what I see in the clubs here, been to many clubs here through my previous profile and also been to many clubs in US too. So I am telling you things based on my own experience, anyways I am not here to win an argument. I would still not talk to the people who aren’t into my types based on wrist bands choice, no time wastage at all for both the parties, and less disappointments. Time is money, that can be spent on others who are at least have made themselves open for someone like you. Make an effort where chances are high, otherwise it’s a waste of time, energy and money. | |||
