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Female insecurity in clubs
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I've noticed sometimes conventionally unattractive women become bitter when a guy approaches a woman that they perceive to be more attractive than them. To the point where they will rebuff this guy if he attempts to strike up a conversation. Has anyone noticed/experienced this? |
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I think you might be overthinking it, OP. Aren't you approaching the "less conventionally attractive women" as your second choice anyway, after being turned down by the "pretty" ones? Maybe you are projecting your own feelings on those women? Also, your post sounds rather entitled to me. It may not have been your intention, but reading between the lines, I get "I approach not so attractive women after I have been turned down by the attractive ones. How dare they turn me down, too, even though they were never my first choice???" |
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"I think you might be overthinking it, OP. Aren't you approaching the "less conventionally attractive women" as your second choice anyway, after being turned down by the "pretty" ones? Maybe you are projecting your own feelings on those women? Also, your post sounds rather entitled to me. It may not have been your intention, but reading between the lines, I get "I approach not so attractive women after I have been turned down by the attractive ones. How dare they turn me down, too, even though they were never my first choice???""
Not really. My point is that conventionally unattractive women are especially embittered when guys talk to other women. They take it as a personal insult. Even when all you are doing is saying hello, not trying to hookup. Shame self-esteem is at an all time low. |
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OP, you’ve made quite the leap to observe that behaviour and then label it as insecure. Maybe they are just looking for something in particular and whoever it is that propositioned them doesn’t fit the bill - regardless of whether or not they approached someone else first. And just because you don’t find them “conventionally attractive”, doesn’t mean other people won’t 🤷🏼♀️ |
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"I've noticed sometimes conventionally unattractive women become bitter when a guy approaches a woman that they perceive to be more attractive than them. To the point where they will rebuff this guy if he attempts to strike up a conversation. Has anyone noticed/experienced this?"
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"I've noticed sometimes conventionally unattractive women become bitter when a guy approaches a woman that they perceive to be more attractive than them. To the point where they will rebuff this guy if he attempts to strike up a conversation. Has anyone noticed/experienced this?
What a weird post…
"
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By *abioMan 5 weeks ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Maybe - and this will shock you, I’m sure - they’re just not interested in you? "
How very dare you!!!!!!
I was just going to point out to the OP that so far the only common denominator is them …. But so much for sugar coating it!!  |
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"OP, you’ve made quite the leap to observe that behaviour and then label it as insecure. Maybe they are just looking for something in particular and whoever it is that propositioned them doesn’t fit the bill - regardless of whether or not they approached someone else first. And just because you don’t find them “conventionally attractive”, doesn’t mean other people won’t 🤷🏼♀️"
Conventional attractiveness does not differ between people. This implies by the word "conventional." Things like overweight, facial asymmetry, etc. are universally unattractive. |
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"Maybe - and this will shock you, I’m sure - they’re just not interested in you? "
Maybe case but rejection reveal high level of bitterness. Good-look women never reject like that in my experience. Prob because difference in self-esteem. |
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"Maybe - and this will shock you, I’m sure - they’re just not interested in you?
Maybe case but rejection reveal high level of bitterness. Good-look women never reject like that in my experience. Prob because difference in self-esteem. "
So whats the fix OP? How do we resolve it so others dont experience the same thing? |
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"Maybe - and this will shock you, I’m sure - they’re just not interested in you?
Maybe case but rejection reveal high level of bitterness. Good-look women never reject like that in my experience. Prob because difference in self-esteem.
So whats the fix OP? How do we resolve it so others dont experience the same thing? "
No way to fix. Got to have thick skin as single guy in club. Unfortunately some play game to win self-esteem. Have to take it on the chin and move on. |
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By *wiggy2112Woman 5 weeks ago
some where in Yorkshire |
"I think you might be overthinking it, OP. Aren't you approaching the "less conventionally attractive women" as your second choice anyway, after being turned down by the "pretty" ones? Maybe you are projecting your own feelings on those women? Also, your post sounds rather entitled to me. It may not have been your intention, but reading between the lines, I get "I approach not so attractive women after I have been turned down by the attractive ones. How dare they turn me down, too, even though they were never my first choice???""
Popcorn 🍿 at the ready |
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By *bi HaiveMan 5 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Maybe - and this will shock you, I’m sure - they’re just not interested in you?
Maybe case but rejection reveal high level of bitterness. Good-look women never reject like that in my experience. Prob because difference in self-esteem. "
So am I right in thinking that in order to have come to this conclusion you've experienced rejection from both good looking women and 'conventionally unattractive' women? 🤔
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"Maybe - and this will shock you, I’m sure - they’re just not interested in you?
Maybe case but rejection reveal high level of bitterness. Good-look women never reject like that in my experience. Prob because difference in self-esteem.
So whats the fix OP? How do we resolve it so others dont experience the same thing?
No way to fix. Got to have thick skin as single guy in club. Unfortunately some play game to win self-esteem. Have to take it on the chin and move on. "
Do have to agree there it should not about thick skin it does not take a lot to be polite but world is funny place rich men and beautiful women have lots of control lol
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"I think you might be overthinking it, OP. Aren't you approaching the "less conventionally attractive women" as your second choice anyway, after being turned down by the "pretty" ones? Maybe you are projecting your own feelings on those women? Also, your post sounds rather entitled to me. It may not have been your intention, but reading between the lines, I get "I approach not so attractive women after I have been turned down by the attractive ones. How dare they turn me down, too, even though they were never my first choice???"
Popcorn 🍿 at the ready "
Already got it out earlier on the thread  . And yes, we can have nachos, too |
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By *elkieWoman 5 weeks ago
Durham |
"OP, you’ve made quite the leap to observe that behaviour and then label it as insecure. Maybe they are just looking for something in particular and whoever it is that propositioned them doesn’t fit the bill - regardless of whether or not they approached someone else first. And just because you don’t find them “conventionally attractive”, doesn’t mean other people won’t 🤷🏼♀️
Conventional attractiveness does not differ between people. This implies by the word "conventional." Things like overweight, facial asymmetry, etc. are universally unattractive. "
Um, no. As a fat lass myself, I can assure you that the world is full of people who find me attractive. I don’t conform to any bullshit societal beauty standard and my BMI is 101, but I’m still a beautiful, hot, sexy person and your inability to see it is your loss and not mine. My life is incredibly sweet right now and I’m not sure you have anything to offer me.
However, you’re right. I am aware of the men in clubs who only flirt with the women they fancy and can’t even manage a smile for me. Know who else is aware? The women you’re trying to pull, who see you being rude to their friends, and know you’re only being nice to them because of the way their bodies look now. The women who are worried that people will stop flirting with them as they age, or if their weight changes. This kind of misogynistic bullshit hurts the women you want to be friends with and want to play with, so sort your head out, because they all deserve better than you. |
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By *JohnMan 5 weeks ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"Conventional attractiveness does not differ between people. This implies by the word "conventional." Things like overweight, facial asymmetry, etc. are universally unattractive. "
Oh my. This is just straight-up not true. "Conventional attractiveness" does not exist. The media would like you to believe that it does, because it helps sell stuff, and some people have fallen for it. Reality is quite different.
What you think women are attracted to, and what women are actually attracted to, are very different things. It's different for each individual woman too. They don't come out of a factory somewhere with identical programming.
The same applies to what men are attracted to. You'll find on both sides that physical looks are far less important than the TV wants us to believe. Sure, looks can matter, but the look that one person likes will be different from someone else, and there's a lot of other factors too.
I am overweight, old, unfit, and my hair is a disaster. There are people who find me attractive. Because I'm also kind, good to cuddle, make people laugh, and I'm somehow someone that people feel safe with. The people who like me like those things.
If you're having issues with rejection, you're not going to be able to change other people. Look inside yourself and ask what you can change there. |
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There is no such thing as 'Conventional Attractiveness'. What one may find attractive, another may not.
My suggestion would be to grow up a little as you clearly have some screwed up views on women before coming on to a swingers site. You're clearly not mature enough if you believe what you have written. |
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"On a point of order I believe the OP was talking about conventional "unattractiveness" otherwise spot on. I certainly cant judge attractiveness (to me) without getting to know someone. "
But what even is that? What is unattractiveness, whether it's conventional or unconventional? |
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Who's to say ?. In my opinion (which no-one is compelled to agree with in any way), I would say.
Its not just or even mostly a physical thing.
It is entirely subjective, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, one mans (persons) meat and all that.
it does change how you interact with people and how you feel around them, including sexually.
it does change based on how they interact with you. (Kind and friendly and a little bit naughty) push all my buttons
Not a great answer I know but I think it explains what I find. |
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"Who's to say ?. In my opinion (which no-one is compelled to agree with in any way), I would say.
Its not just or even mostly a physical thing.
It is entirely subjective, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, one mans (persons) meat and all that.
it does change how you interact with people and how you feel around them, including sexually.
it does change based on how they interact with you. (Kind and friendly and a little bit naughty) push all my buttons
Not a great answer I know but I think it explains what I find."
I’d agree that beauty and attractiveness is subjective.
What I may find attractive, someone else may not.
But OP has specified “conventional unattractiveness” …. Which is actually, just his opinion on what he believes it to be and may not be other people’s views (Although it comes across that it should be). |
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"
So whats the fix OP? How do we resolve it so others dont experience the same thing? "
Don’t go straight to the pretty one first, toss a coin; heads it’s the pretty one, tails it’s the not commonly attractive one…..add a bit of ‘game of chance’ to the evening   |
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I think OP, that you have a lot of soul searching and educating to do in terms of your outlook, motivations and reductionistic attitude toward women’s behaviours and thought processes. To make out that ‘conventionally unattractive’ women are bitter when they perceive to be the second choice in a club setting is such mysogynistic bull💩. Your concept of attractiveness being universal suggests a complete lack of critical thinking skills, emotional intelligence or empathy.
I’m of the hopeful opinion this post must be rage bait and not your actual world view 😳 |
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"Maybe - and this will shock you, I’m sure - they’re just not interested in you?
Maybe case but rejection reveal high level of bitterness. Good-look women never reject like that in my experience. Prob because difference in self-esteem.
So whats the fix OP? How do we resolve it so others dont experience the same thing?
No way to fix. Got to have thick skin as single guy in club. Unfortunately some play game to win self-esteem. Have to take it on the chin and move on. "
To be fair OP; you didn’t appear to struggle at the recent BMFC event……? |
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"What clubs ? Clubs in general - it seems to be a widespread phenomenon. Think some women believe that if a guy approaches them after talking to another woman they are somehow a "second choice.""
I thought swingers clubs were for ages 25 and over. |
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"What clubs ? Clubs in general - it seems to be a widespread phenomenon. Think some women believe that if a guy approaches them after talking to another woman they are somehow a "second choice."
I thought swingers clubs were for ages 25 and over."
As OP has proven in this thread, there’s a very valid reason why they should be. |
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Perhaps, you're just trying to find a reasoning behind being rejected? It's not because a woman was bitter you spoke to another first, it's just that you have nothing to offer her based on her own preferences? |
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"OP, you’ve made quite the leap to observe that behaviour and then label it as insecure. Maybe they are just looking for something in particular and whoever it is that propositioned them doesn’t fit the bill - regardless of whether or not they approached someone else first. And just because you don’t find them “conventionally attractive”, doesn’t mean other people won’t 🤷🏼♀️
Conventional attractiveness does not differ between people. This implies by the word "conventional." Things like overweight, facial asymmetry, etc. are universally unattractive. "
Couldn't disagree more |
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"Do you guys understand English? Do you know what the word conventional means?"
If you mean us then yes. Do you understand that attractiveness is subjective as not everyone will agree on what is or isn't attractive. |
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If you put a conventionally attractive person in a club and their opposite, the conventionally attractive person will have more success ignoring all factors except looks most of the time. That's what conventional means.
While some people find obese people and people with high levels of facial asymmetry attractive, they are exceptions. Which wealthy man with celebrity do you know, a man that has the pick of the litter when it comes to women, that has an obese wife? None. They are all choosing slim women.
People who are less conventially attractive have lower levels of self esteem than their more attractive counterparts - studies prove this - so they are more prone to things that afflict low self-esteem people: jealousy, low self-opinion, etc.
It naturally folllows that conventionally unattractive womem use rejection as a way to boost their self-esteem at rates far exceeding conventionally attractive women. That's the truth, whether you want to accept it or not.
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"I've noticed sometimes conventionally unattractive women become bitter when a guy approaches a woman that they perceive to be more attractive than them. To the point where they will rebuff this guy if he attempts to strike up a conversation. Has anyone noticed/experienced this?"
Yes
It's a woman thing, the younger the more likely I find. |
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"Also, a woman who chooses to turn a guy down in a club, regardless whether she was the guy's first or n-teenth choice, for whatever reason, is anything but insecure, OP. You have a lot to learn! "
You seem butt hurt |
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"If you put a conventionally attractive person in a club and their opposite, the conventionally attractive person will have more success ignoring all factors except looks most of the time. That's what conventional means.
While some people find obese people and people with high levels of facial asymmetry attractive, they are exceptions. Which wealthy man with celebrity do you know, a man that has the pick of the litter when it comes to women, that has an obese wife? None. They are all choosing slim women.
People who are less conventially attractive have lower levels of self esteem than their more attractive counterparts - studies prove this - so they are more prone to things that afflict low self-esteem people: jealousy, low self-opinion, etc.
It naturally folllows that conventionally unattractive womem use rejection as a way to boost their self-esteem at rates far exceeding conventionally attractive women. That's the truth, whether you want to accept it or not.
"
It's your truth |
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"OP, you’ve made quite the leap to observe that behaviour and then label it as insecure. Maybe they are just looking for something in particular and whoever it is that propositioned them doesn’t fit the bill - regardless of whether or not they approached someone else first. And just because you don’t find them “conventionally attractive”, doesn’t mean other people won’t 🤷🏼♀️
Conventional attractiveness does not differ between people. This implies by the word "conventional." Things like overweight, facial asymmetry, etc. are universally unattractive. "
Bro it's basically you can't make any observations on women less you be labelled a woman hater but it's freezing game the other way around and other guys will agree with my lady.
Yet many of the same guys will say otherwise when you speak to them man to man in the club
I frankly don't care about randoms opinions on the internet so say your piece and others will say theirs.
Yes women will get salty with you if they think they are 2nd choice. Guys not to much if it means she allt least alright and down to fuck. |
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"Also, a woman who chooses to turn a guy down in a club, regardless whether she was the guy's first or n-teenth choice, for whatever reason, is anything but insecure, OP. You have a lot to learn!
You seem butt hurt "
Could you explain your reason for thinking that, please? |
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By *bi HaiveMan 5 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"If you put a conventionally attractive person in a club and their opposite, the conventionally attractive person will have more success ignoring all factors except looks most of the time. That's what conventional means.
While some people find obese people and people with high levels of facial asymmetry attractive, they are exceptions. Which wealthy man with celebrity do you know, a man that has the pick of the litter when it comes to women, that has an obese wife? None. They are all choosing slim women.
People who are less conventially attractive have lower levels of self esteem than their more attractive counterparts - studies prove this - so they are more prone to things that afflict low self-esteem people: jealousy, low self-opinion, etc.
It naturally folllows that conventionally unattractive womem use rejection as a way to boost their self-esteem at rates far exceeding conventionally attractive women. That's the truth, whether you want to accept it or not.
"
'Conventionally attractive' people (as you choose to term them) can just as often have very unattractive personalities as anyone else.
But if all you're interested in is how someone looks when choosing someone to approach then that's your prerogative.
And I know many people you'd deem not to fall into that conventionally attractive group who don't lack any self esteem, are confident, have great personalities and who thrive in club environments.
I'm still curious to hear your answer to my earlier question.
If you've come to the conclusion you have, would that indicate you've experienced rejection from both 'conventionally attractive' and 'non-conventionally attractive' people? |
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" If you've come to the conclusion you have, would that indicate you've experienced rejection from both 'conventionally attractive' and 'non-conventionally attractive' people? "
Except more conventionally attractive people are also more likely to have other traits that are more beneficial in clubs: confindence, charisma, etc.
Naturally, I have interacted with women at a range of points on the conventionally attractive scale, not with the purpose of hooking-up most of the time but just basic exchange of pleasantries. The least conventionally attractive women have by far been the most bitter. |
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"OP, you’ve made quite the leap to observe that behaviour and then label it as insecure. Maybe they are just looking for something in particular and whoever it is that propositioned them doesn’t fit the bill - regardless of whether or not they approached someone else first. And just because you don’t find them “conventionally attractive”, doesn’t mean other people won’t 🤷🏼♀️
Conventional attractiveness does not differ between people. This implies by the word "conventional." Things like overweight, facial asymmetry, etc. are universally unattractive.
Bro it's basically you can't make any observations on women less you be labelled a woman hater but it's freezing game the other way around and other guys will agree with my lady.
Yet many of the same guys will say otherwise when you speak to them man to man in the club
I frankly don't care about randoms opinions on the internet so say your piece and others will say theirs.
Yes women will get salty with you if they think they are 2nd choice. Guys not to much if it means she allt least alright and down to fuck. "
100%. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 5 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"
Except more conventionally attractive people are also more likely to have other traits that are more beneficial in clubs: confindence, charisma, etc.
"
Nope. I've been going to clubs for over 15 years. Never seen any correlation between percieved attractiveness and confidence, charisma etc.
Nor have I seen any difference in how the majority of people reject others, unless the nature of a specific approach warranted any individual response.
I've seen people who think they're more attractive and better than others get put out when someone turns them down, as if it shouldn't have happened.
I've seen people confused as to why someone would say no, thinking it must surely be a problem with them, not the person being rejected.
I've seen many people making comments about the 'attractiveness', figures and bodies of others in a derogatory way and heard statements along the lines of 'they shouldn't be in a club'.
The most bitter people I've experienced in all my years are those who can't accept the words 'no thanks' without needing to attribute some kind of negative reasoning on the person saying no. |
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Although now divorced
Lenny Henry and dawn french
There are actually many more but as u only see ur idealistic u can’t see them.
Swinging isn’t all about sex there is a social side to it aswell. If u don’t take the time to get to know someone then what do u expect. Also yes single men may find it hard at clubs but that usually cos some act like u and pester and push. I will add not all single men do and we know quite a few nice single men who have taken time to get to know us.
Try spending more than 10 min trying to get into knickers before moving on talk to people they with aswell and if u turned down u just not what they looking for at that time no offence to be taken but then don’t blank them as u may cut chance in future
But telling u that is pointless cos ur right n we should all bow to u |
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"I think you might be overthinking it, OP. Aren't you approaching the "less conventionally attractive women" as your second choice anyway, after being turned down by the "pretty" ones? Maybe you are projecting your own feelings on those women? Also, your post sounds rather entitled to me. It may not have been your intention, but reading between the lines, I get "I approach not so attractive women after I have been turned down by the attractive ones. How dare they turn me down, too, even though they were never my first choice???"
Not really. My point is that conventionally unattractive women are especially embittered when guys talk to other women. They take it as a personal insult. Even when all you are doing is saying hello, not trying to hookup. Shame self-esteem is at an all time low."
Coming from a conventionally unattractive woman I can honestly say that I'm too busy eying up the buffet table to notice who some random guy is chatting to  |
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"I think you might be overthinking it, OP. Aren't you approaching the "less conventionally attractive women" as your second choice anyway, after being turned down by the "pretty" ones? Maybe you are projecting your own feelings on those women? Also, your post sounds rather entitled to me. It may not have been your intention, but reading between the lines, I get "I approach not so attractive women after I have been turned down by the attractive ones. How dare they turn me down, too, even though they were never my first choice???"
Not really. My point is that conventionally unattractive women are especially embittered when guys talk to other women. They take it as a personal insult. Even when all you are doing is saying hello, not trying to hookup. Shame self-esteem is at an all time low.
Coming from a conventionally unattractive woman I can honestly say that I'm too busy eying up the buffet table to notice who some random guy is chatting to "
This is actually the funniest thing I’ve read I ages !!! Full marks 🤣🤣🥩🌮🍰 |
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"Coming from a conventionally unattractive woman I can honestly say that I'm too busy eying up the buffet table to notice who some random guy is chatting to "
I love this! I am also far too busy socialising and enjoying myself to notice if I am 2nd/3rd/4th choice 🤷🏼♀️ |
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So what he's actually saying is that women who he finds unattractive should be grateful if he wants to fuck them and, if they refuse his advances, they must be embittered and insecure. On the other hand, though, the poor chap must be pretty desperate and needy to want to fuck women he finds unattractive.
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"So what he's actually saying is that women who he finds unattractive should be grateful if he wants to fuck them and, if they refuse his advances, they must be embittered and insecure. On the other hand, though, the poor chap must be pretty desperate and needy to want to fuck women he finds unattractive.
"
👏👏 |
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"OP, you’ve made quite the leap to observe that behaviour and then label it as insecure. Maybe they are just looking for something in particular and whoever it is that propositioned them doesn’t fit the bill - regardless of whether or not they approached someone else first. And just because you don’t find them “conventionally attractive”, doesn’t mean other people won’t 🤷🏼♀️
Conventional attractiveness does not differ between people. This implies by the word "conventional." Things like overweight, facial asymmetry, etc. are universally unattractive.
Bro it's basically you can't make any observations on women less you be labelled a woman hater but it's fair game the other way around and other guys will agree with my lady.
Yet many of the same guys will say otherwise when you speak to them man to man in the club
I frankly don't care about randoms opinions on the internet so say your piece and others will say theirs.
Yes women will get salty with you if they think they are 2nd choice. Guys not to much if it means she at least alright and down to fuck. "
Absolutely this mate, and it’s all down to the basic lack of women in clubs.
Fair play to you for being so honest in an open forum, stepping outside the “I daren’t say what I actually think in case it means I don’t get laid” |
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"Maybe - and this will shock you, I’m sure - they’re just not interested in you?
Maybe case but rejection reveal high level of bitterness. Good-look women never reject like that in my experience. Prob because difference in self-esteem. "
Perhaps you could detail this 'bitterness', which you have interpreted. It may well be that your body language reading skills at clubs are a bit out.
I don't recognise anything like this from any of the clubs I've been to. |
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"So what he's actually saying is that women who he finds unattractive should be grateful if he wants to fuck them and, if they refuse his advances, they must be embittered and insecure. On the other hand, though, the poor chap must be pretty desperate and needy to want to fuck women he finds unattractive.
"
This is what we both took from the OP comments.
Also where does this conventionally attractive idea come from. It defies logic and human nature. One person's beautiful is another's not so.... its in the eye of the beholder.
In some countries being bigger is seen as better. |
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"Let's get this thread to 175 comments. It will be a big achievement for me. Keep commenting everyone!"
Perhaps we just leave the thread here now. OP clearly had an agenda and too emotionally immature to deal with this lifestyle and getting kicks out of winding everyone up … only way he probably can because his attitude stinks online so can’t imagine what vibes he gives off in clubs. |
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"Let's get this thread to 175 comments. It will be a big achievement for me. Keep commenting everyone!
Perhaps we just leave the thread here now. OP clearly had an agenda and too emotionally immature to deal with this lifestyle and getting kicks out of winding everyone up … only way he probably can because his attitude stinks online so can’t imagine what vibes he gives off in clubs. "
No..... please keep commenting. I want 175! |
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"Let's get this thread to 175 comments. It will be a big achievement for me. Keep commenting everyone!
Perhaps we just leave the thread here now. OP clearly had an agenda and too emotionally immature to deal with this lifestyle and getting kicks out of winding everyone up … only way he probably can because his attitude stinks online so can’t imagine what vibes he gives off in clubs.
No..... please keep commenting. I want 175!"
Maybe just reply to yourself for another 100 posts then your goal will be reached? |
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"Let's get this thread to 175 comments. It will be a big achievement for me. Keep commenting everyone!
Perhaps we just leave the thread here now. OP clearly had an agenda and too emotionally immature to deal with this lifestyle and getting kicks out of winding everyone up … only way he probably can because his attitude stinks online so can’t imagine what vibes he gives off in clubs. "
I couldn’t agree more. Dude clearly has issues… |
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By *ickawitchCouple 5 weeks ago
Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you) |
"OP, you’ve made quite the leap to observe that behaviour and then label it as insecure. Maybe they are just looking for something in particular and whoever it is that propositioned them doesn’t fit the bill - regardless of whether or not they approached someone else first. And just because you don’t find them “conventionally attractive”, doesn’t mean other people won’t 🤷🏼♀️
Conventional attractiveness does not differ between people. This implies by the word "conventional." Things like overweight, facial asymmetry, etc. are universally unattractive.
Um, no. As a fat lass myself, I can assure you that the world is full of people who find me attractive. I don’t conform to any bullshit societal beauty standard and my BMI is 101, but I’m still a beautiful, hot, sexy person and your inability to see it is your loss and not mine. My life is incredibly sweet right now and I’m not sure you have anything to offer me.
However, you’re right. I am aware of the men in clubs who only flirt with the women they fancy and can’t even manage a smile for me. Know who else is aware? The women you’re trying to pull, who see you being rude to their friends, and know you’re only being nice to them because of the way their bodies look now. The women who are worried that people will stop flirting with them as they age, or if their weight changes. This kind of misogynistic bullshit hurts the women you want to be friends with and want to play with, so sort your head out, because they all deserve better than you. "
We’ll said |
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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
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Were all humans at the end of the day dude. We all read each others vibe and body language and the I can only imagine that would be heightened in a club. If you made her feel "conventionally unnatractive" somehow then it would be natural for her not to take it well |
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By *abioMan 5 weeks ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"If you put a conventionally attractive person in a club and their opposite, the conventionally attractive person will have more success ignoring all factors except looks most of the time. That's what conventional means.
While some people find obese people and people with high levels of facial asymmetry attractive, they are exceptions. Which wealthy man with celebrity do you know, a man that has the pick of the litter when it comes to women, that has an obese wife? None. They are all choosing slim women.
People who are less conventially attractive have lower levels of self esteem than their more attractive counterparts - studies prove this - so they are more prone to things that afflict low self-esteem people: jealousy, low self-opinion, etc.
It naturally folllows that conventionally unattractive womem use rejection as a way to boost their self-esteem at rates far exceeding conventionally attractive women. That's the truth, whether you want to accept it or not.
"
It’s your truth …..
Or…It may be a version of a truth that placates you..
Or….It may be a version of a truth that you believe that in effect leaves you blameless and put that elsewhere…..
See…. Here is what I have learnt from my time going to clubs… you can call this a teachable moment from a older to a younger
For as far as looks may get someone, at some point, unless you happen to be a mute, you are going to have to open your mouth and talk to people, and if the flapping of your gums as good as the looks you perceive to have…. Then it’s still hello goodbye!
But obviously… you can still blame the other person, for you have done nothing wrong in lovely hazy old world of yours
Self awareness is a wonderful thing to have… once you have learnt it….
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"If you put a conventionally attractive person in a club and their opposite, the conventionally attractive person will have more success ignoring all factors except looks most of the time. That's what conventional means.
While some people find obese people and people with high levels of facial asymmetry attractive, they are exceptions. Which wealthy man with celebrity do you know, a man that has the pick of the litter when it comes to women, that has an obese wife? None. They are all choosing slim women.
People who are less conventially attractive have lower levels of self esteem than their more attractive counterparts - studies prove this - so they are more prone to things that afflict low self-esteem people: jealousy, low self-opinion, etc.
It naturally folllows that conventionally unattractive womem use rejection as a way to boost their self-esteem at rates far exceeding conventionally attractive women. That's the truth, whether you want to accept it or not.
This is total bullshit your take, I can name loads of celeb men who have very voluptuous wife's and girlfriends.I know many people who in my view aren't beautiful but they have loads of confidence & tbh it isn't about looks it's about so much more you can be beautiful and be a total arsehole!
"
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"If you put a conventionally attractive person in a club and their opposite, the conventionally attractive person will have more success ignoring all factors except looks most of the time. That's what conventional means.
While some people find obese people and people with high levels of facial asymmetry attractive, they are exceptions. Which wealthy man with celebrity do you know, a man that has the pick of the litter when it comes to women, that has an obese wife? None. They are all choosing slim women.
People who are less conventially attractive have lower levels of self esteem than their more attractive counterparts - studies prove this - so they are more prone to things that afflict low self-esteem people: jealousy, low self-opinion, etc.
It naturally folllows that conventionally unattractive womem use rejection as a way to boost their self-esteem at rates far exceeding conventionally attractive women. That's the truth, whether you want to accept it or not.
This is total bullshit your take, I can name loads of celeb men who have very voluptuous wife's and girlfriends.I know many people who in my view aren't beautiful but they have loads of confidence & tbh it isn't about looks it's about so much more you can be beautiful and be a total arsehole!
"
There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. I’ll let others decide which side OP is on.
And that’s me done on this thread. He’s not worth anymore time. |
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"If you put a conventionally attractive person in a club and their opposite, the conventionally attractive person will have more success ignoring all factors except looks most of the time. That's what conventional means.
While some people find obese people and people with high levels of facial asymmetry attractive, they are exceptions. Which wealthy man with celebrity do you know, a man that has the pick of the litter when it comes to women, that has an obese wife? None. They are all choosing slim women.
People who are less conventially attractive have lower levels of self esteem than their more attractive counterparts - studies prove this - so they are more prone to things that afflict low self-esteem people: jealousy, low self-opinion, etc.
It naturally folllows that conventionally unattractive womem use rejection as a way to boost their self-esteem at rates far exceeding conventionally attractive women. That's the truth, whether you want to accept it or not.
This is total bullshit your take, I can name loads of celeb men who have very voluptuous wife's and girlfriends.I know many people who in my view aren't beautiful but they have loads of confidence & tbh it isn't about looks it's about so much more you can be beautiful and be a total arsehole!
There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. I’ll let others decide which side OP is on.
And that’s me done on this thread. He’s not worth anymore time. "
I really liked your contributions on this thread. It's a shame for you to go. |
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" If you've come to the conclusion you have, would that indicate you've experienced rejection from both 'conventionally attractive' and 'non-conventionally attractive' people?
Except more conventionally attractive people are also more likely to have other traits that are more beneficial in clubs: confindence, charisma, etc.
Naturally, I have interacted with women at a range of points on the conventionally attractive scale, not with the purpose of hooking-up most of the time but just basic exchange of pleasantries. The least conventionally attractive women have by far been the most bitter. "
Or they don't succumb to your bullshit and know their worth. |
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Except more conventionally attractive people are also more likely to have other traits that are more beneficial in clubs: confindence, charisma, etc.
Nope. I've been going to clubs for over 15 years. Never seen any correlation between percieved attractiveness and confidence, charisma etc.
Nor have I seen any difference in how the majority of people reject others, unless the nature of a specific approach warranted any individual response.
I've seen people who think they're more attractive and better than others get put out when someone turns them down, as if it shouldn't have happened.
I've seen people confused as to why someone would say no, thinking it must surely be a problem with them, not the person being rejected.
I've seen many people making comments about the 'attractiveness', figures and bodies of others in a derogatory way and heard statements along the lines of 'they shouldn't be in a club'.
The most bitter people I've experienced in all my years are those who can't accept the words 'no thanks' without needing to attribute some kind of negative reasoning on the person saying no. "
Spot on! |
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