FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Female insecurity in clubs
Female insecurity in clubs
Jump to: Newest in thread
I've noticed sometimes conventionally unattractive women become bitter when a guy approaches a woman that they perceive to be more attractive than them. To the point where they will rebuff this guy if he attempts to strike up a conversation. Has anyone noticed/experienced this? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think you might be overthinking it, OP. Aren't you approaching the "less conventionally attractive women" as your second choice anyway, after being turned down by the "pretty" ones? Maybe you are projecting your own feelings on those women? Also, your post sounds rather entitled to me. It may not have been your intention, but reading between the lines, I get "I approach not so attractive women after I have been turned down by the attractive ones. How dare they turn me down, too, even though they were never my first choice???" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think you might be overthinking it, OP. Aren't you approaching the "less conventionally attractive women" as your second choice anyway, after being turned down by the "pretty" ones? Maybe you are projecting your own feelings on those women? Also, your post sounds rather entitled to me. It may not have been your intention, but reading between the lines, I get "I approach not so attractive women after I have been turned down by the attractive ones. How dare they turn me down, too, even though they were never my first choice???""
Not really. My point is that conventionally unattractive women are especially embittered when guys talk to other women. They take it as a personal insult. Even when all you are doing is saying hello, not trying to hookup. Shame self-esteem is at an all time low. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
OP, you’ve made quite the leap to observe that behaviour and then label it as insecure. Maybe they are just looking for something in particular and whoever it is that propositioned them doesn’t fit the bill - regardless of whether or not they approached someone else first. And just because you don’t find them “conventionally attractive”, doesn’t mean other people won’t 🤷🏼♀️ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've noticed sometimes conventionally unattractive women become bitter when a guy approaches a woman that they perceive to be more attractive than them. To the point where they will rebuff this guy if he attempts to strike up a conversation. Has anyone noticed/experienced this?"
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've noticed sometimes conventionally unattractive women become bitter when a guy approaches a woman that they perceive to be more attractive than them. To the point where they will rebuff this guy if he attempts to strike up a conversation. Has anyone noticed/experienced this?
What a weird post…
"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *abioMan 24 hours ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Maybe - and this will shock you, I’m sure - they’re just not interested in you? "
How very dare you!!!!!!
I was just going to point out to the OP that so far the only common denominator is them …. But so much for sugar coating it!!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"OP, you’ve made quite the leap to observe that behaviour and then label it as insecure. Maybe they are just looking for something in particular and whoever it is that propositioned them doesn’t fit the bill - regardless of whether or not they approached someone else first. And just because you don’t find them “conventionally attractive”, doesn’t mean other people won’t 🤷🏼♀️"
Conventional attractiveness does not differ between people. This implies by the word "conventional." Things like overweight, facial asymmetry, etc. are universally unattractive. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe - and this will shock you, I’m sure - they’re just not interested in you? "
Maybe case but rejection reveal high level of bitterness. Good-look women never reject like that in my experience. Prob because difference in self-esteem. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe - and this will shock you, I’m sure - they’re just not interested in you?
Maybe case but rejection reveal high level of bitterness. Good-look women never reject like that in my experience. Prob because difference in self-esteem. "
So whats the fix OP? How do we resolve it so others dont experience the same thing? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe - and this will shock you, I’m sure - they’re just not interested in you?
Maybe case but rejection reveal high level of bitterness. Good-look women never reject like that in my experience. Prob because difference in self-esteem.
So whats the fix OP? How do we resolve it so others dont experience the same thing? "
No way to fix. Got to have thick skin as single guy in club. Unfortunately some play game to win self-esteem. Have to take it on the chin and move on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *wiggy2112Woman 23 hours ago
some where in Yorkshire |
"I think you might be overthinking it, OP. Aren't you approaching the "less conventionally attractive women" as your second choice anyway, after being turned down by the "pretty" ones? Maybe you are projecting your own feelings on those women? Also, your post sounds rather entitled to me. It may not have been your intention, but reading between the lines, I get "I approach not so attractive women after I have been turned down by the attractive ones. How dare they turn me down, too, even though they were never my first choice???""
Popcorn 🍿 at the ready |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan 23 hours ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Maybe - and this will shock you, I’m sure - they’re just not interested in you?
Maybe case but rejection reveal high level of bitterness. Good-look women never reject like that in my experience. Prob because difference in self-esteem. "
So am I right in thinking that in order to have come to this conclusion you've experienced rejection from both good looking women and 'conventionally unattractive' women? 🤔
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe - and this will shock you, I’m sure - they’re just not interested in you?
Maybe case but rejection reveal high level of bitterness. Good-look women never reject like that in my experience. Prob because difference in self-esteem.
So whats the fix OP? How do we resolve it so others dont experience the same thing?
No way to fix. Got to have thick skin as single guy in club. Unfortunately some play game to win self-esteem. Have to take it on the chin and move on. "
Do have to agree there it should not about thick skin it does not take a lot to be polite but world is funny place rich men and beautiful women have lots of control lol
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think you might be overthinking it, OP. Aren't you approaching the "less conventionally attractive women" as your second choice anyway, after being turned down by the "pretty" ones? Maybe you are projecting your own feelings on those women? Also, your post sounds rather entitled to me. It may not have been your intention, but reading between the lines, I get "I approach not so attractive women after I have been turned down by the attractive ones. How dare they turn me down, too, even though they were never my first choice???"
Popcorn 🍿 at the ready "
Already got it out earlier on the thread  . And yes, we can have nachos, too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *elkieWoman 13 hours ago
Durham |
"OP, you’ve made quite the leap to observe that behaviour and then label it as insecure. Maybe they are just looking for something in particular and whoever it is that propositioned them doesn’t fit the bill - regardless of whether or not they approached someone else first. And just because you don’t find them “conventionally attractive”, doesn’t mean other people won’t 🤷🏼♀️
Conventional attractiveness does not differ between people. This implies by the word "conventional." Things like overweight, facial asymmetry, etc. are universally unattractive. "
Um, no. As a fat lass myself, I can assure you that the world is full of people who find me attractive. I don’t conform to any bullshit societal beauty standard and my BMI is 101, but I’m still a beautiful, hot, sexy person and your inability to see it is your loss and not mine. My life is incredibly sweet right now and I’m not sure you have anything to offer me.
However, you’re right. I am aware of the men in clubs who only flirt with the women they fancy and can’t even manage a smile for me. Know who else is aware? The women you’re trying to pull, who see you being rude to their friends, and know you’re only being nice to them because of the way their bodies look now. The women who are worried that people will stop flirting with them as they age, or if their weight changes. This kind of misogynistic bullshit hurts the women you want to be friends with and want to play with, so sort your head out, because they all deserve better than you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *JohnMan 11 hours ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"Conventional attractiveness does not differ between people. This implies by the word "conventional." Things like overweight, facial asymmetry, etc. are universally unattractive. "
Oh my. This is just straight-up not true. "Conventional attractiveness" does not exist. The media would like you to believe that it does, because it helps sell stuff, and some people have fallen for it. Reality is quite different.
What you think women are attracted to, and what women are actually attracted to, are very different things. It's different for each individual woman too. They don't come out of a factory somewhere with identical programming.
The same applies to what men are attracted to. You'll find on both sides that physical looks are far less important than the TV wants us to believe. Sure, looks can matter, but the look that one person likes will be different from someone else, and there's a lot of other factors too.
I am overweight, old, unfit, and my hair is a disaster. There are people who find me attractive. Because I'm also kind, good to cuddle, make people laugh, and I'm somehow someone that people feel safe with. The people who like me like those things.
If you're having issues with rejection, you're not going to be able to change other people. Look inside yourself and ask what you can change there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There is no such thing as 'Conventional Attractiveness'. What one may find attractive, another may not.
My suggestion would be to grow up a little as you clearly have some screwed up views on women before coming on to a swingers site. You're clearly not mature enough if you believe what you have written. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"On a point of order I believe the OP was talking about conventional "unattractiveness" otherwise spot on. I certainly cant judge attractiveness (to me) without getting to know someone. "
But what even is that? What is unattractiveness, whether it's conventional or unconventional? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Who's to say ?. In my opinion (which no-one is compelled to agree with in any way), I would say.
Its not just or even mostly a physical thing.
It is entirely subjective, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, one mans (persons) meat and all that.
it does change how you interact with people and how you feel around them, including sexually.
it does change based on how they interact with you. (Kind and friendly and a little bit naughty) push all my buttons
Not a great answer I know but I think it explains what I find. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Who's to say ?. In my opinion (which no-one is compelled to agree with in any way), I would say.
Its not just or even mostly a physical thing.
It is entirely subjective, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, one mans (persons) meat and all that.
it does change how you interact with people and how you feel around them, including sexually.
it does change based on how they interact with you. (Kind and friendly and a little bit naughty) push all my buttons
Not a great answer I know but I think it explains what I find."
I’d agree that beauty and attractiveness is subjective.
What I may find attractive, someone else may not.
But OP has specified “conventional unattractiveness” …. Which is actually, just his opinion on what he believes it to be and may not be other people’s views (Although it comes across that it should be). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
So whats the fix OP? How do we resolve it so others dont experience the same thing? "
Don’t go straight to the pretty one first, toss a coin; heads it’s the pretty one, tails it’s the not commonly attractive one…..add a bit of ‘game of chance’ to the evening   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think OP, that you have a lot of soul searching and educating to do in terms of your outlook, motivations and reductionistic attitude toward women’s behaviours and thought processes. To make out that ‘conventionally unattractive’ women are bitter when they perceive to be the second choice in a club setting is such mysogynistic bull💩. Your concept of attractiveness being universal suggests a complete lack of critical thinking skills, emotional intelligence or empathy.
I’m of the hopeful opinion this post must be rage bait and not your actual world view 😳 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe - and this will shock you, I’m sure - they’re just not interested in you?
Maybe case but rejection reveal high level of bitterness. Good-look women never reject like that in my experience. Prob because difference in self-esteem.
So whats the fix OP? How do we resolve it so others dont experience the same thing?
No way to fix. Got to have thick skin as single guy in club. Unfortunately some play game to win self-esteem. Have to take it on the chin and move on. "
To be fair OP; you didn’t appear to struggle at the recent BMFC event……? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
