FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > 😊 who has stopped attending swinger's clubs and why did you stop going
😊 who has stopped attending swinger's clubs and why did you stop going
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Never been to one so don’t know what I am missing, definitely feel weird going as a single bloke however and would feel like people would judge me going alone as a single male, unless I had a planned meet at a club that would be different. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 days ago
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"Never been to one so don’t know what I am missing, definitely feel weird going as a single bloke however and would feel like people would judge me going alone as a single male, unless I had a planned meet at a club that would be different."
lunatic asylums
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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 days ago
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"Never been to one so don’t know what I am missing, definitely feel weird going as a single bloke however and would feel like people would judge me going alone as a single male, unless I had a planned meet at a club that would be different.lunatic asylums "
men in towels sat there wanking yuk
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I used to go back in the day as a single. Since then I would only go with a FWB, when I had that type of relationship.
I have recently found a FWB to go with again. Seeing all the single guys there, reminded me what a lonely existence being a single guy in a club is. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 days ago
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"I’d like to goto Chams north of brum, as it’s busy. I probably won’t be going clubbing again unless there’s a great, friendly club near where I’m moving "
Brothels use single women to get men in men get free sex they pretend to be your friend
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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 days ago
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"I find that clubs make me so anxious, it's not enjoyable.
And those same men, in towels approaching me and my partner....I agree. YUK. "
they are worst places I would never go to again |
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Been to a local club to see what the fuss was all about and experience it. But that was it really. Never planned on being an avid club-goer.
Also, it was a good way to get verified as being a real person 🤷♂️ |
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"Never been to one so don’t know what I am missing, definitely feel weird going as a single bloke however and would feel like people would judge me going alone as a single male, unless I had a planned meet at a club that would be different.lunatic asylums "
That's a bit harsh OP.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 days ago
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"Never been to one so don’t know what I am missing, definitely feel weird going as a single bloke however and would feel like people would judge me going alone as a single male, unless I had a planned meet at a club that would be different.lunatic asylums
That's a bit harsh OP.
Mrs"
that's my honest opinion what do you want me to do lie |
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We went to xtasia and chasing as a couple. When our relationship ended I couldn't bring myself to go as a single male.
Always preferred couples only events and I'm still in search of a new partner in crime. |
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"We went to xtasia and chasing as a couple. When our relationship ended I couldn't bring myself to go as a single male.
Always preferred couples only events and I'm still in search of a new partner in crime."
Chams not 'chasing'. |
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Been to one once as a couple, didn’t like because of the wanking dead following us around everywhere, despite my suggesting they not bother.
Once as a solo male, didn’t like it because even being known to people in there, was largely ignored when trying to strike up a conversation.
Expensive night out too, and I’m too tight to spend that kinda money anymore. |
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I’ve never been for all of these reasons. I talked about going with my late partner but could never go as a single guy. That said as a single guy I feel like a predator reading some of the profiles on here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 days ago
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"I think to myself how much my time I wasted in their and think what on earth was I doing one of biggest mistake going in a swinger's clubs never again "
proud of myself stayed away from them over a year now
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I haven’t been for a couple of years, never really was into sex in a club with people watching but I joined in sometimes. I would still go to the more classy clubs like purple mamba for a social, but maybe stay in the bar! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 days ago
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"I think to myself how much my time I wasted in their and think what on earth was I doing one of biggest mistake going in a swinger's clubs never again proud of myself stayed away from them over a year now "
and want to meet man who doesn't want to go them
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By *bi HaiveMan 2 days ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
For all those saying clubs aren't for them....that's great. You tried it, you don't like it and that's how we all learn.
Plenty of clubs don't require dressing down, so its easy to pick one where you wont be surrounded by towels. Not all clubs are full of guys wanking, even on single guy nights. Not all clubs overcharge guys either.
There's no one size fits all.
Clubs aren't for everyone. Equally, many prefer them to just looking to hook up online. Nobody is ever forced to go to a club. |
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"Never been to one so don’t know what I am missing, definitely feel weird going as a single bloke however and would feel like people would judge me going alone as a single male, unless I had a planned meet at a club that would be different.lunatic asylums men in towels sat there wanking yuk "
The clubs you have been to sound awful
Perhaps you need to try some better ones  |
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By *glyBettyTV/TS 2 days ago
About 3 feet away from the fence |
If I was a straight single male I wouldn't bother with clubs either.
It's usually 20 men to every woman and unless your thing is participating in conga lines of futility, you're not getting any action 90% of the time if you aren't an absolute standout specimen. |
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By *lex46TV/TS 2 days ago
Near Wells |
I enjoy going to clubs especially on T girl days but I don’t go very often now. I used to go to London, Birmingham and Blackpool regularly but it’s the cost of getting there, staying in hotels for a night etc.
Living in Somerset it’s always a weekend away but now I’ll be spending £400 just for some sex with fuel etc added on.
I still make the effort sometimes to get to The Greenhouse in Newport, that’s only an hour away and about £20 in fuel and still good fun. |
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We've pretty much stopped going, partly due to Hampshire being a vacant black hole regards swinging club's, so it's either fabs or hellfire.
The former is crap and the latter is nice but it's always cold and empty and yes all are usually full of the wanking dead stumbling around dick in hand with no clue how to socially interact with actual humans.
Or it's full of people pissed off their head or out of their nut on crazy sherbet. |
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"We've pretty much stopped going, partly due to Hampshire being a vacant black hole regards swinging club's, so it's either fabs or hellfire.
The former is crap and the latter is nice but it's always cold and empty and yes all are usually full of the wanking dead stumbling around dick in hand with no clue how to socially interact with actual humans.
Or it's full of people pissed off their head or out of their nut on crazy sherbet."
Pissed up ( d*unk) |
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By *os19Man 2 days ago
Edmonton |
As a straight single male who can’t accommodate and nearer 60 years old I find it difficult sending out messages on here and seeing if I get a reply.I prefer to go to my local swingers club in North London as and when I can.I treat it as a night out to a club or pub and if I get to have some adult fun then even better if not so what as long as I have a enjoyable even I am ok with that. I also go to a spa in North West London sometimes with a lady friend sometimes by myself and again same thoughts enjoy the facilities and I am guaranteed adult fun with my lady friend.If by myself then enjoy the facilities and if adult fun happens great if not just relax and enjoy the facilities. |
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I used to have a friend, we often went together as a “couple” and done full straight swap sometimes as I’m not bi.
Since we parted ways, there’s no point of me going on Saturday to join couples (I can only ever go Saturdays) on my own. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 days ago
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"We've pretty much stopped going, partly due to Hampshire being a vacant black hole regards swinging club's, so it's either fabs or hellfire.
The former is crap and the latter is nice but it's always cold and empty and yes all are usually full of the wanking dead stumbling around dick in hand with no clue how to socially interact with actual humans.
Or it's full of people pissed off their head or out of their nut on crazy sherbet.
Pissed up ( d*unk)"
🤣so true |
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Stopped going as the clientele (either in terms of behaviour) or standard (without sounding like up our own backsides) was less and less appealing.
The low point being a fella in work jeans, flip flops and no shirt encouraging every man there to paw his clearly dr*nk to the nines partner, who could barely stand up.
They just became less and less appealing. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 2 days ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Don't think people have read thread properly it says why have you stopped going to club "
I read it properly. I was adding some thoughts and balance.
To add some more.....I have stopped attending some clubs. Two I left within half an hour because they were horrendous. Nothing to do with the people and entirely to do with the facilities themselves. |
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"Don't think people have read thread properly it says why have you stopped going to club
I read it properly. I was adding some thoughts and balance.
To add some more.....I have stopped attending some clubs. Two I left within half an hour because they were horrendous. Nothing to do with the people and entirely to do with the facilities themselves. "
We don't do classy in this country, tacky and sleezy . |
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By *bi HaiveMan 2 days ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Don't think people have read thread properly it says why have you stopped going to club
I read it properly. I was adding some thoughts and balance.
To add some more.....I have stopped attending some clubs. Two I left within half an hour because they were horrendous. Nothing to do with the people and entirely to do with the facilities themselves.
We don't do classy in this country, tacky and sleezy ."
I'd agree some are. Others are great and some more than sufficient for what they are.
At the end of the day no amount of flashy decor and facilities will provide a great night if the people there aren't who you're interested in, attracted to or behave in a positive way. Some of the worst parties I've been to have been in very classy venues that looked stunning, but full of pretentious folk more interested in being looked at and complimented than actually socialising with others.
It's the people that make a good night out. Not the bricks and mortar. |
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I really enjoy clubs as a single bloke. But I enjoy having spare change a little more. Haven’t been in over a year. Price hike and it’s just not worth it, £50 entry, after drinks ect over £100 just not feasible especially as a single man your chancing it some nights 80% m to f ratio lol ye, nah |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 days ago
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"Don't think people have read thread properly it says why have you stopped going to club
I read it properly. I was adding some thoughts and balance.
To add some more.....I have stopped attending some clubs. Two I left within half an hour because they were horrendous. Nothing to do with the people and entirely to do with the facilities themselves.
We don't do classy in this country, tacky and sleezy .
I'd agree some are. Others are great and some more than sufficient for what they are.
At the end of the day no amount of flashy decor and facilities will provide a great night if the people there aren't who you're interested in, attracted to or behave in a positive way. Some of the worst parties I've been to have been in very classy venues that looked stunning, but full of pretentious folk more interested in being looked at and complimented than actually socialising with others.
It's the people that make a good night out. Not the bricks and mortar. "
fake people fake conversations vultures in men in towels wanking people just use people |
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By *bi HaiveMan 2 days ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Don't think people have read thread properly it says why have you stopped going to club
I read it properly. I was adding some thoughts and balance.
To add some more.....I have stopped attending some clubs. Two I left within half an hour because they were horrendous. Nothing to do with the people and entirely to do with the facilities themselves.
We don't do classy in this country, tacky and sleezy .
I'd agree some are. Others are great and some more than sufficient for what they are.
At the end of the day no amount of flashy decor and facilities will provide a great night if the people there aren't who you're interested in, attracted to or behave in a positive way. Some of the worst parties I've been to have been in very classy venues that looked stunning, but full of pretentious folk more interested in being looked at and complimented than actually socialising with others.
It's the people that make a good night out. Not the bricks and mortar. fake people fake conversations vultures in men in towels wanking people just use people "
Experiences will vary. |
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I've been trying to work my self up to going to my local at one of their daytime events. I've been told it's friendly, but can't shake the feeling I'll be ignored as a single bloke. A bit daunting tbh, but as someone mentioned, a good way to get verified as a genuine person. |
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By *aizyWoman 2 days ago
west midlands |
"I've been trying to work my self up to going to my local at one of their daytime events. I've been told it's friendly, but can't shake the feeling I'll be ignored as a single bloke. A bit daunting tbh, but as someone mentioned, a good way to get verified as a genuine person."
For your first visit go purely for the experience, no expectations see how you get on, it can be a bit overwhelming first visit. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 2 days ago
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"Don't think people have read thread properly it says why have you stopped going to club
I read it properly. I was adding some thoughts and balance.
To add some more.....I have stopped attending some clubs. Two I left within half an hour because they were horrendous. Nothing to do with the people and entirely to do with the facilities themselves.
We don't do classy in this country, tacky and sleezy .
I'd agree some are. Others are great and some more than sufficient for what they are.
At the end of the day no amount of flashy decor and facilities will provide a great night if the people there aren't who you're interested in, attracted to or behave in a positive way. Some of the worst parties I've been to have been in very classy venues that looked stunning, but full of pretentious folk more interested in being looked at and complimented than actually socialising with others.
It's the people that make a good night out. Not the bricks and mortar. fake people fake conversations vultures in men in towels wanking people just use people
Experiences will vary. "
been to different clubs day and night events all the same |
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I've stopped going to some, where management and ethos changed. Money has also been tougher for them and myself since the pandemic and inflation. But they are each very different, varied vibes, events, clientele and behaviour. Not to mention their facilities. Obviously this thread isn't a fully balanced perspective, as it's focused around why people aren't going anymore. I'd encourage single men to keep an open mind, if you are decent and have normally socialised behaviour, etc. And to go for the facilities, akin to a bar, where you can socialise.
I think sometimes people don't do as much research as they could, so don't potentially find the best fit for their tastes. This isn't helped, by so many clubs not having anything like a 'try before you buy', newbies events, that don't entail huge financial commitments, once engaging. |
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This! We were never into men anyway, but the behaviour of men in the lifestyle, especially at clubs has actively stopped us from attending clubs.
It's not just being followed, it's the borderline sexual assaults, the actual sexual assaults, the lack of hygiene, inability to take hints or even blatant No. We've been to lots of clubs, lots of nights and they just don't feel safe anymore.
We're yet to find a good couples and single ladies night.
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"This! We were never into men anyway, but the behaviour of men in the lifestyle, especially at clubs has actively stopped us from attending clubs.
It's not just being followed, it's the borderline sexual assaults, the actual sexual assaults, the lack of hygiene, inability to take hints or even blatant No. We've been to lots of clubs, lots of nights and they just don't feel safe anymore.
We're yet to find a good couples and single ladies night.
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What you on about mate? All clubs do couples and ladies only nights. For whichever club you went to where single guy disrespect, just go again for their couple and lady only. Why would you try single guy over and over instead of just move to couple/women after second or third time? Seem like insanity to me.
If you get SAed, file police report and maybe psychological counsel to deal with that. Too important matter bring up on fab. |
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"Never been to one so don’t know what I am missing, definitely feel weird going as a single bloke however and would feel like people would judge me going alone as a single male, unless I had a planned meet at a club that would be different.lunatic asylums men in towels sat there wanking yuk "
Not all of us, I'll always be polite and wait to be invited, you'll never see me being like a Benny Hill sketch, I enjoy the social side as well.
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By *iverstMan 2 days ago
Rossendale |
Being a single guy that goes to a club I can understand the sentiments being expressed here. If the ratio of single guys is too high you may as well stay on fab and send messages.
Personally I don’t follow people around and have never had a wank in a club. I have never pestered anyone or touched anyone. I am not a voyeur either, i get embarrassed watching unless its people I have a connection with. I am quite shy and never approached anyone either – god knows how I have managed, but I have been incredibly lucky!
I have become a fwb to a couple and meet them there at the club. We have a laugh and some fun snd sometimes this will go beyond the club.
I suppose what I am saying is, don’t go thinking every single guy is disrespectful or a predator! |
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Well we actually enjoy clubs. It’s nice to dress up and dress down and have some fun. We also like the single guys occasionally. Issues happen when the clubs get greedy, the numbers are skewed and couples/women get followed and hassled all the time. The nicer clubs keep the ratios correct and monitor behaviour so everyone has fun. |
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"Well we actually enjoy clubs. It’s nice to dress up and dress down and have some fun. We also like the single guys occasionally. Issues happen when the clubs get greedy, the numbers are skewed and couples/women get followed and hassled all the time. The nicer clubs keep the ratios correct and monitor behaviour so everyone has fun."
Which clubs would you suggest that couples don't get harassed by guys? Never been to one but don't want Mrs to be out off from the get go |
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"Well we actually enjoy clubs. It’s nice to dress up and dress down and have some fun. We also like the single guys occasionally. Issues happen when the clubs get greedy, the numbers are skewed and couples/women get followed and hassled all the time. The nicer clubs keep the ratios correct and monitor behaviour so everyone has fun.
Which clubs would you suggest that couples don't get harassed by guys? Never been to one but don't want Mrs to be out off from the get go"
Our favourite is Le Boudoir (central London) - it’s is pricy and they are selective about membership, but it shows when you get in there and we always have a great time. Others we suggest for newbies and not getting hassled would be Liberty Elite and Vanilla Alternative x |
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We're actually just looking for single guys and have been twice to a great club. The club is usually couples and single guys nights, just the thing we thought. However both nights we've been have seemed too top heavy with guys, also they seem to arrive as singles but then wander around in groups which is very off-putting. Quite a few also looked like they'd come straight from work with questionable hygeine and of course there were the 'stalkers'. However we did meet one fantastic guy who turned an otherwise disappointing visit into a great night. If only all the guys were like him, he certainly set the benchmark. So, although we've thought about not bothering again for the above reasons mentioned, the club being so great and that lovely guy would mean it's never say never for us.
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"I'm glad I read this before I went.
I'm just going to stand there wanking without a towel now.
Thanks for the heads up, guys!"
I would find a local event and go. I've been going to clubs for well over 25 years and met some amazing people over the years.
Clubs for me are a safe and social space for me to relax.. meet friends and if I feel like it.. have a dawned good time
Tend to avoid couples nights, even now we are a couple as it doesn't work for us.
Ive had far more hassle at private events than at clubs.
They aren't for everyone but there is definitely a fantastic side to clubs x
Mr did very well as a single guy at clubs before he met me.
As to the OP suggesting they are just brothels, utterly disrespectful and as no one should go to a club expecting sex... very much not true... even as a greedy girl. I say no to who I feel like but will talk to everyone x |
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By *elnkazCouple 1 day ago
cheshire |
"For all those saying clubs aren't for them....that's great. You tried it, you don't like it and that's how we all learn.
Plenty of clubs don't require dressing down, so its easy to pick one where you wont be surrounded by towels. Not all clubs are full of guys wanking, even on single guy nights. Not all clubs overcharge guys either.
There's no one size fits all.
Clubs aren't for everyone. Equally, many prefer them to just looking to hook up online. Nobody is ever forced to go to a club. "
Well said |
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I visited 8 clubs as a solo guy, to a total of 19 visits. I did enjoy two fantastic evenings, but usually felt like a gatecrasher at a party I wasn’t invited to.
Clubs are for couples; leave them to it  |
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"I visited 8 clubs as a solo guy, to a total of 19 visits. I did enjoy two fantastic evenings, but usually felt like a gatecrasher at a party I wasn’t invited to.
Clubs are for couples; leave them to it "
I attended many times as a single guy and have had amazing times. Also met Cali at a club.
We would both definitely disagree that clubs are just for couples. |
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"I visited 8 clubs as a solo guy, to a total of 19 visits. I did enjoy two fantastic evenings, but usually felt like a gatecrasher at a party I wasn’t invited to.
Clubs are for couples; leave them to it
I attended many times as a single guy and have had amazing times. Also met Cali at a club.
We would both definitely disagree that clubs are just for couples. "
Good for you |
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There is always someone to talk to in a club. They are the friendliest places. Unfortunately, even the smallest smile at a lone single guy invariably means he'll cling to you like a limpet the whole night, so I avoid them and only talk to couples and women. |
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With us the problem we found with our local clubs was that it was difficult to socialise in the social areas as they seem to blast 90's hits so loud that you can't hear each other talk. So when you finally get up the courage to approach other couples you are shouting in each others ears or repeating yourself over and over.
When you do get to the point where the four of you decide you want to go play there are very few private locations free as all the rooms have voyeur windows or spy holes. Which is fine for couples who are into that but some couples just want to swing with another couple in private.
I think that's mostly why we enjoy private meets more these days. |
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Think the OP has generalised way too much and it paints a certain behaviour onto all males which isn't true or fair.
Simply put, every club is different. Different theme nights, different organisers, different policies, different feel to them and different crowds.
If you go to a 'wet club' you are more likely to come across some blokes wanking in towels.
If you go to certain clubs that specialise in gangbangs, especially if filmed then expect some of the women attendees to be working girls.
Some events in the fetish space have specific anti wanking policies as its seen as a non consensual act.
Some events do limit the ratios so theres never a surplus of single men in the first place.
Some clubs are more expensive to create a more 'club browd' than 'hardcore swinger' crowd
Most clubs have designated couples-only night
Some famous multi-club events like the Blackmans Fan-Club, are renowned for the zero tolerance approach to disrespectful behaviour from their single male members
and so on
I think it's great there are so many top class clubs in the UK and whilst if they disappeared everyone could go back to dogging, keys-in-a-bowl houseparties and contact mags I think it would be better if they stayed.
So while theres always going to be an ebb and flow with the clubs, there really should be something for everyone so they can network and enjoy their precious free time without simmering about the bad behaviour of a minority, believing everywhere is the same and just quitting isn't the answer.
I get how that behaviour is unpleasant but maybe thats just not. the sort pf club you should be attending, where a different scene within-the-scene may be the answer. Worth exploring anyway |
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We started our journey by attending a club and have been to quite a few since. We tend to only go to couples and single ladies events and have to say that although we are considering trying other things for variation, we wouldn't completely stop going to clubs as we enjoy them. |
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I am a bit of an exhibitionist, and clubs give me an opportunity to be watched. As I don't drive, I always go with either my partner or my FWB so I am not too bothered if anyone else joins us. Same as you, OP, I find the "wanking zombies" a turn off, especially the ones who are sitting nearby when you're in the social area and rather than say "hi", they just stare and wank as if they have never seen a woman before. The worst variety of the wankers (only happened to me once, luckily) are those who talk to you while wanking furiously then move on to another woman if they're not getting anything from you. And then move back to you if the other woman was not responding to their "charm".
However, the wankers are nowhere near as bad as those men who just decide to start touching you without asking, as if just your very presence at a club means you'd fuck anything and everything  .
I am picky, I need my brain stimulated first before my body can be, and that can only be achieved by talking to me like a person. I don't care whether they have a six pack and a 12 inch cock - if you can't even say "hi" to me, you're getting nowhere near me.
Luckily, both my partner and my FWB are very good at keeping me busy  . |
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"I not attracted to men that go in clubs I find them boring "
What makes a guy that goes to a club boring... for me it would be quite the opposite.. as it shows he is a social creature and able to approach people. Also he is likely to be confident. |
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I think the OP must have had a traumatic experience. All clubs are not the same. All people who go to clubs are not the same. If you don’t like them then nobody is forcing you to go but don’t start slaughtering all clubs because of your own experiences at one or two clubs. Personally we really like them. We’ve had a short break from them but are planning a club visit next week. Even if we don’t play it’s a fun night out with like minded people where you can chat about the things that you can’t chat about with vanilla people in your local pub. |
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"I'm mot a big fan of spa swinger clubs, like you the men in towels wanking away, yuk!
It's worse when they follow you around like a lost lamb pitifully clutching their cock.
Gross! "
Totally agree, we have stopped for this reason |
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"There is always someone to talk to in a club. They are the friendliest places. Unfortunately, even the smallest smile at a lone single guy invariably means he'll cling to you like a limpet the whole night, so I avoid them and only talk to couples and women."
And this statement, probably explains why I, having been a lone, single guy in several clubs across the NW and NE, rarely felt welcome… |
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We stopped after being followed by the towel gang and felt like sheep being herded by a dog, our few visits before were fun as we went with another couple and met another couple so it was good, our local club is a bit clicky and the same ones hog the rooms on a Friday and Saturday nights, so it gets boring or late waiting.. we find Sunday afternoon is a more chilled couples vibe. But we aren’t rushing to return |
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There are so many different clubs with different clientele and different vibes. Even different events can make the same club feel totally different on a particular night.
We don't think you can class clubs all the same. Each one is so different x |
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By *x cplCouple 1 day ago
North of Oxford |
You always get the creeps everywhere. Be it in a vanilla club or bar downtown (you know the guy that brushes past you a little too close or stands too close behind you at the bar or grabs you and pulls you close on the dance floor) it's easy enough to ignore the wankers in clubs just tell them No Thanks (fuck off if that fails) and they get the message. Good clubs will remove anyone being a pest following you doing such, we know chameleons does. We enjoy the clubs because I love to flirt and dance provocatively to have the attention where anywhere else it could cause trouble. Clubs on the whole are a safe environment, although some can be seedy and creepy we agree. It's a case of finding the right club. Some we've visited we won't visit ever again. But on the whole they are a safe and respectful..good fun, a place to relax, chill and if the moods there have some great fun. |
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"I think the OP must have had a traumatic experience. All clubs are not the same. All people who go to clubs are not the same. If you don’t like them then nobody is forcing you to go but don’t start slaughtering all clubs because of your own experiences at one or two clubs. Personally we really like them. We’ve had a short break from them but are planning a club visit next week. Even if we don’t play it’s a fun night out with like minded people where you can chat about the things that you can’t chat about with vanilla people in your local pub. "
This for us. We haven't played with others at clubs for a while. Also find that the majority of guys are respectful |
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It became classless and full of hideous people.
I was confronted by 2 men stood naked with their knobs out in the female change rooms claiming to be TVs. Nope I've seen TVs changing in ladies before and they're discreet.
They were like the hairy bikers. Lacked safety.
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"There are so many different clubs with different clientele and different vibes. Even different events can make the same club feel totally different on a particular night.
We don't think you can class clubs all the same. Each one is so different x"
Totally agree with this 100%. That's the wonder with this lifestyle! |
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I first attended a club way back in 2003 as a young twenty something…. But had a good run of around 15 years of semi regularly playing at many clubs in the south east and London areas with the odd visit to some of the midlands clubs too.
I did have a fair amount of fun throughout my thirties but over the past few years, I’ve found that most nights at a club would more often be just a social event and that the clubs were a bit too seedy and full of pretentious or very scummy people.
Maybe people are seeking the very exotic myth of BBC or the fact that I’m a short and average white guy, no matter how polite I may be, I’m just not as in demand as I once was.
This has put me off the whole club thing although I do find myself wondering if there is something that I could be missing from the more high end club events such as Killing Kittens. |
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Ghosted/ignored by many whites - only POC chat with me..although i am not a shy person and very well travelled..still not much luck there, so no point wasting money when people aren’t curious about you, don’t care if you are present in the club, even people doing bartending in swingers clubs, they don’t interact much..I am a proud Indian. But have a very different experience in clubs in US - very inclusive, people would love to talk to you..whites, Latinos, blacks - even play with you because they have a huge respect for Indians there - , shame here it’s very different. |
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"Ghosted/ignored by many whites - only POC chat with me..although i am not a shy person and very well travelled..still not much luck there, so no point wasting money when people aren’t curious about you, don’t care if you are present in the club, even people doing bartending in swingers clubs, they don’t interact much..I am a proud Indian. But have a very different experience in clubs in US - very inclusive, people would love to talk to you..whites, Latinos, blacks - even play with you because they have a huge respect for Indians there - , shame here it’s very different. "
How many clubs have you been to here? I'm surprised that you've seen that it's because of your race, as I've not seen that around the north west or midlands, for example |
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"Ghosted/ignored by many whites - only POC chat with me..although i am not a shy person and very well travelled..still not much luck there, so no point wasting money when people aren’t curious about you, don’t care if you are present in the club, even people doing bartending in swingers clubs, they don’t interact much..I am a proud Indian. But have a very different experience in clubs in US - very inclusive, people would love to talk to you..whites, Latinos, blacks - even play with you because they have a huge respect for Indians there - , shame here it’s very different.
How many clubs have you been to here? I'm surprised that you've seen that it's because of your race, as I've not seen that around the north west or midlands, for example "
Been to fours club - Wirral, Derby, Leeds and NewCastle. I accepted the fact - it’s very much BBC oriented crowd here on Fab and clubs too - seen multiple women lined up to suck one black man’s cock, which is ok, so why should I waste my time, energy and money, where I cannot even get anyone who is interested in talking to Indians - deducted that Whites only like brown shade when under knife , |
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By *xxxxMan 1 day ago
kent |
I was into the club scene for a few years. I mostly attended solo and occasionally with dates. Honestly, I never had a bad time. I definitely saw people who clearly didn't have a good time (nearly always a couples argument over someone or something). Yes, I also saw guys wanking in corners and was approached by a working girl once, whilst I was with a date, so things like that definitely happen. I think all these things are part and parcel in swingers clubs though. I definitely recommend clubs, but at the same time I'd say if you're a single lady then maybe you shouldn't go to a club on a Friday night, which is usually aimed at single guys. Saturday nights are for couples and single ladies. It is what it is. |
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"
Been to fours club - Wirral, Derby, Leeds and NewCastle. I accepted the fact - it’s very much BBC oriented crowd here on Fab and clubs too - seen multiple women lined up to suck one black man’s cock, which is ok, so why should I waste my time, energy and money, where I cannot even get anyone who is interested in talking to Indians - deducted that Whites only like brown shade when under knife ,"
I’m glad that someone else had mentioned how the club scene seems to favour couples that seek either single bi-females or couples with that dynamic, single females tend to be more likely to be looking to meet younger single black males, with some mature women trying to change how they present themselves into a “roadman” or urban accent to try and appeal to this demographic.
It’s really quite sad to see just how desperate these women are to throw themselves into being used as pawns to satisfy other people’s shallow kinks.
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By *bi HaiveMan 23 hours ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"
Been to fours club - Wirral, Derby, Leeds and NewCastle. I accepted the fact - it’s very much BBC oriented crowd here on Fab and clubs too - seen multiple women lined up to suck one black man’s cock, which is ok, so why should I waste my time, energy and money, where I cannot even get anyone who is interested in talking to Indians - deducted that Whites only like brown shade when under knife ,
I’m glad that someone else had mentioned how the club scene seems to favour couples that seek either single bi-females or couples with that dynamic, single females tend to be more likely to be looking to meet younger single black males, with some mature women trying to change how they present themselves into a “roadman” or urban accent to try and appeal to this demographic.
It’s really quite sad to see just how desperate these women are to throw themselves into being used as pawns to satisfy other people’s shallow kinks.
"
As a white guy of a similar age to you I'm disappointed to read this kind of viewpoint.
Yes, there are themed nights such as BMFC. But I've been to those myself and had a blast, both as half a couple and also on my own. This myth that all club going women are predominantly interested in BBC is complete BS. Some people have preferences. Accept it.
The majority of mixed nights I've seen men of all ages, all shapes and sizes and all ethnicities enjoying themselves. I've seen other men fitting all of the above not enjoying themselves too, either because they hadn't a clue how to socialise or because they just weren't what people were looking for that night.
Sex in a club isn't a right. It should never be expected. Just because people are in a swingers club it doesn't guarantee they'll find someone to get physical with. Going to a club with any sense of expectation or entitlement is liable to exaggerate any sense of disappointment if nothing happens. |
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By *weetRollMan 22 hours ago
Angus/Dundee/Perth |
"Been to one once as a couple, didn’t like because of the wanking dead following us around everywhere, despite my suggesting they not bother.
Once as a solo male, didn’t like it because even being known to people in there, was largely ignored when trying to strike up a conversation.
Expensive night out too, and I’m too tight to spend that kinda money anymore. "
"The Wanking Dead" -- gods that was funny lmao! |
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"Ghosted/ignored by many whites - only POC chat with me..although i am not a shy person and very well travelled..still not much luck there, so no point wasting money when people aren’t curious about you, don’t care if you are present in the club, even people doing bartending in swingers clubs, they don’t interact much..I am a proud Indian. But have a very different experience in clubs in US - very inclusive, people would love to talk to you..whites, Latinos, blacks - even play with you because they have a huge respect for Indians there - , shame here it’s very different. "
Can realate that a bit but not all the time .as is couple its better and if you go with stunning partner than even indian/pakistani in demand other wise watch from side lines and relax 😂
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I've been to many clubs in various parts of the country, most clubs are the same, I've seen the 'wanking dead' who follow couples from pillar to post, I even tried doing the same, but just couldn't do it, as a shy and respectful guy, the whole premise didn't work for me, I prefer to take my time and work up to the act, then there are guys who are too d*unk to walk in a straight line, the fights, couples arguing then leaving, the whole thing is just too much for my advancing years, for clubs the single guy is a veritable cash cow, these days I much prefer an unused home meet, true I do miss the hot tub and sauna, I could write a whole book on the things I've seen at clubs, plus the things I can't unsee.
That's why I don't go, it's too commercialized....like Christmas. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 20 hours ago
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"I've been to many clubs in various parts of the country, most clubs are the same, I've seen the 'wanking dead' who follow couples from pillar to post, I even tried doing the same, but just couldn't do it, as a shy and respectful guy, the whole premise didn't work for me, I prefer to take my time and work up to the act, then there are guys who are too d*unk to walk in a straight line, the fights, couples arguing then leaving, the whole thing is just too much for my advancing years, for clubs the single guy is a veritable cash cow, these days I much prefer an unused home meet, true I do miss the hot tub and sauna, I could write a whole book on the things I've seen at clubs, plus the things I can't unsee.
That's why I don't go, it's too commercialized....like Christmas."
I agree to be honest never thought they that great when I first went I tried other clubs same |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 20 hours ago
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"I still go but the novelty has worn off.. I live alone so gets me out of the house on a Saturday night... everything has it's shelf life and it doesn't excite me as much lately..."
yes I agree same people same conversations I never go again
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By (user no longer on site) OP 20 hours ago
|
"
Been to fours club - Wirral, Derby, Leeds and NewCastle. I accepted the fact - it’s very much BBC oriented crowd here on Fab and clubs too - seen multiple women lined up to suck one black man’s cock, which is ok, so why should I waste my time, energy and money, where I cannot even get anyone who is interested in talking to Indians - deducted that Whites only like brown shade when under knife ,
I’m glad that someone else had mentioned how the club scene seems to favour couples that seek either single bi-females or couples with that dynamic, single females tend to be more likely to be looking to meet younger single black males, with some mature women trying to change how they present themselves into a “roadman” or urban accent to try and appeal to this demographic.
It’s really quite sad to see just how desperate these women are to throw themselves into being used as pawns to satisfy other people’s shallow kinks.
As a white guy of a similar age to you I'm disappointed to read this kind of viewpoint.
Yes, there are themed nights such as BMFC. But I've been to those myself and had a blast, both as half a couple and also on my own. This myth that all club going women are predominantly interested in BBC is complete BS. Some people have preferences. Accept it.
The majority of mixed nights I've seen men of all ages, all shapes and sizes and all ethnicities enjoying themselves. I've seen other men fitting all of the above not enjoying themselves too, either because they hadn't a clue how to socialise or because they just weren't what people were looking for that night.
Sex in a club isn't a right. It should never be expected. Just because people are in a swingers club it doesn't guarantee they'll find someone to get physical with. Going to a club with any sense of expectation or entitlement is liable to exaggerate any sense of disappointment if nothing happens. "
I like white men with small cocks ginger hair blue green eyes |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 20 hours ago
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"I was into the club scene for a few years. I mostly attended solo and occasionally with dates. Honestly, I never had a bad time. I definitely saw people who clearly didn't have a good time (nearly always a couples argument over someone or something). Yes, I also saw guys wanking in corners and was approached by a working girl once, whilst I was with a date, so things like that definitely happen. I think all these things are part and parcel in swingers clubs though. I definitely recommend clubs, but at the same time I'd say if you're a single lady then maybe you shouldn't go to a club on a Friday night, which is usually aimed at single guys. Saturday nights are for couples and single ladies. It is what it is. "
never went on Friday night
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By (user no longer on site) OP 20 hours ago
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"I was into the club scene for a few years. I mostly attended solo and occasionally with dates. Honestly, I never had a bad time. I definitely saw people who clearly didn't have a good time (nearly always a couples argument over someone or something). Yes, I also saw guys wanking in corners and was approached by a working girl once, whilst I was with a date, so things like that definitely happen. I think all these things are part and parcel in swingers clubs though. I definitely recommend clubs, but at the same time I'd say if you're a single lady then maybe you shouldn't go to a club on a Friday night, which is usually aimed at single guys. Saturday nights are for couples and single ladies. It is what it is. never went on Friday night "
mostly daytime but still
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By (user no longer on site) OP 20 hours ago
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"Looking for normal man who doesn't go to them
I suggest to make an new post .
I'm looking for a man who hates swingers clubs as much as I do.
You'd possibly be happier with a dating app?"
the same men are on here and date apps |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 20 hours ago
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"There is always someone to talk to in a club. They are the friendliest places. Unfortunately, even the smallest smile at a lone single guy invariably means he'll cling to you like a limpet the whole night, so I avoid them and only talk to couples and women.
And this statement, probably explains why I, having been a lone, single guy in several clubs across the NW and NE, rarely felt welcome… "
me too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 20 hours ago
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"I visited 8 clubs as a solo guy, to a total of 19 visits. I did enjoy two fantastic evenings, but usually felt like a gatecrasher at a party I wasn’t invited to.
Clubs are for couples; leave them to it
I attended many times as a single guy and have had amazing times. Also met Cali at a club.
We would both definitely disagree that clubs are just for couples. "
I hate them it's all fake I wouldn't want anyone daughter going in them they just brothels with different name same shit use men to get money I would never go to club again |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 20 hours ago
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"This! We were never into men anyway, but the behaviour of men in the lifestyle, especially at clubs has actively stopped us from attending clubs.
It's not just being followed, it's the borderline sexual assaults, the actual sexual assaults, the lack of hygiene, inability to take hints or even blatant No. We've been to lots of clubs, lots of nights and they just don't feel safe anymore.
We're yet to find a good couples and single ladies night.
"
I know exactly what you mean |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 hours ago
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"There is always someone to talk to in a club. They are the friendliest places. Unfortunately, even the smallest smile at a lone single guy invariably means he'll cling to you like a limpet the whole night, so I avoid them and only talk to couples and women."
but not you because you will call man limp that follows you all night this is what I mean people so fake in clubs
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By (user no longer on site) OP 19 hours ago
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"For all those saying clubs aren't for them....that's great. You tried it, you don't like it and that's how we all learn. This is why I am asking for people's experiences in them I got mine other people got there's
Plenty of clubs don't require dressing down, so its easy to pick one where you wont be surrounded by towels. Not all clubs are full of guys wanking, even on single guy nights. Not all clubs overcharge guys either.
There's no one size fits all.
Clubs aren't for everyone. Equally, many prefer them to just looking to hook up online. Nobody is ever forced to go to a club. "
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"Looking for normal man who doesn't go to them
I suggest to make an new post .
I'm looking for a man who hates swingers clubs as much as I do.
You'd possibly be happier with a dating app?"
.....Badoo |
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By *p4fun60Couple 18 hours ago
Hampshire |
"We have not stopped going to clubs but we only go on couples only events.I am just looking to find nice kind respectful man on here "
Think you're looking in the wrong place then tbh try a dating app not a swingers site as in between the fake profiles,pic collectors,timewasters & married guys pretending to be single, your gonna have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince lol |
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I don’t think this is a fair portrayal of clubs or single guys at all. I would go as far as saying that the op has probably had a bad experience and is describing all clubs the same.
When kittydagger and myself have attended clubs we’ve had good bad and meh experiences. But ultimately most have been good, when we’ve both been in a good frame of mind and the people that have been their have been our type! |
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In my experience swingers clubs form groups and if your not in that clique you can feel isolated CLUB F in Durham is like that , if your face fits you've cracked it if not it can be a very daunting experience , so now I only meet people in their home or at mine , plus the fees they charge single men to go to clubs us taking the piss |
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"In my experience swingers clubs form groups and if your not in that clique you can feel isolated CLUB F in Durham is like that , if your face fits you've cracked it if not it can be a very daunting experience , so now I only meet people in their home or at mine , plus the fees they charge single men to go to clubs us taking the piss "
So you've established your own clique for those who you visit or go to yours. |
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We stopped going for years after being regular at Chameleons but for us it was due to the novelty of going to the club wearing off.
Recently returned after many years away and had some lovely afternoons, more chilled and sometimes naughty.
Met some nice guys and had some soft fun leaving us with the same excitement we used to have back in the old days.
Xx
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By (user no longer on site) OP 10 hours ago
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"We have not stopped going to clubs but we only go on couples only events.I am just looking to find nice kind respectful man on here
Think you're looking in the wrong place then tbh try a dating app not a swingers site as in between the fake profiles,pic collectors,timewasters & married guys pretending to be single, your gonna have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince lol "
I don't kiss them and I only got certain type and the men on her they on date apps too I know exactly what I want |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 10 hours ago
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"We have not stopped going to clubs but we only go on couples only events.I am just looking to find nice kind respectful man on here
Think you're looking in the wrong place then tbh try a dating app not a swingers site as in between the fake profiles,pic collectors,timewasters & married guys pretending to be single, your gonna have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince lol I don't kiss them and I only got certain type and the men on her they on date apps too I know exactly what I want "
here I meant |
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"I visited 8 clubs as a solo guy, to a total of 19 visits. I did enjoy two fantastic evenings, but usually felt like a gatecrasher at a party I wasn’t invited to.
Clubs are for couples; leave them to it
I attended many times as a single guy and have had amazing times. Also met Cali at a club.
We would both definitely disagree that clubs are just for couples. I hate them it's all fake I wouldn't want anyone daughter going in them they just brothels with different name same shit use men to get money I would never go to club again "
I find that extremely offensive !
Referring to swinging clubs as brothels is inferring all women attending are being paid for services !!!!
Your attitude is not only condescending but very rude and you clearly have zero knowledge or understanding of how the swinging scene works. Fabswingers is a platform for the swinging community but it appears people like yourself seem to use it as some form of dating app instead. If you don’t like swingers or people that go to swinging clubs then why are you on our swinging app ??!
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"I visited 8 clubs as a solo guy, to a total of 19 visits. I did enjoy two fantastic evenings, but usually felt like a gatecrasher at a party I wasn’t invited to.
Clubs are for couples; leave them to it
I attended many times as a single guy and have had amazing times. Also met Cali at a club.
We would both definitely disagree that clubs are just for couples. I hate them it's all fake I wouldn't want anyone daughter going in them they just brothels with different name same shit use men to get money I would never go to club again "
absolutely rubbish. I'd actually prefer my daughters to go to a swing club than go out to a night out in a normal night club. As they would be far safer in a swing club.
Where do you get this ridiculous idea that clubs are brothels...its totally in the wrong... I've been going to clubs for almost 3 decades. We go most weeks... they are a safe chilled space for us to do as little or as much as we like.
Clubs obviously aren't your thing but they are 100% not how you are making them out to be.
Cali |
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"For all those saying clubs aren't for them....that's great. You tried it, you don't like it and that's how we all learn.
Plenty of clubs don't require dressing down, so its easy to pick one where you wont be surrounded by towels. Not all clubs are full of guys wanking, even on single guy nights. Not all clubs overcharge guys either.
There's no one size fits all.
Clubs aren't for everyone. Equally, many prefer them to just looking to hook up online. Nobody is ever forced to go to a club. "
You are spot on , The main ones I’ve been to are purple mamba, the Attick , liberty elite and the big one in central Leeds can’t remember its name, they are all completely different. |
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We are also sharing our learning here - which to me is British whites absolute love of black man and ignorance/ghosting/avoidance of brown man is widely seen in the club scene. Expectation from browns to be approachable and have good communication skills, dress up nicely etc etc - whereas, other party just have to unzip without even saying a word and gets full attention. So telling everyone here that it is not a problem is like sweeping real issue of racism under the carpet. Why because I had never observed such a behaviour in any club in US, where Indians are loved by White Americans, Latinos and blacks because Indians are respected there. Here it’s very different, so stopped going to club and waste my precious three, Time, Energy and Money. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 9 hours ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"For all those saying clubs aren't for them....that's great. You tried it, you don't like it and that's how we all learn.
Plenty of clubs don't require dressing down, so its easy to pick one where you wont be surrounded by towels. Not all clubs are full of guys wanking, even on single guy nights. Not all clubs overcharge guys either.
There's no one size fits all.
Clubs aren't for everyone. Equally, many prefer them to just looking to hook up online. Nobody is ever forced to go to a club.
You are spot on , The main ones I’ve been to are purple mamba, the Attick , liberty elite and the big one in central Leeds can’t remember its name, they are all completely different."
I like Purple Mamba. Libs is on my to do list. Having been to about 15 across the country they're all different. And that's why I like clubs. If they were all the same there'd be no point in visiting more than one. 🤷♂️
And I still stick by my view that's it's always more about the people there than the bricks and mortar. |
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By *eyeYCouple 8 hours ago
Nr Leicester |
We find it a little strange in a lifestyle as this there are many who seem to seek echo chambers of their opinions!
Like clubs vs don't like clubs, Bi vs not bi, kink vs kink shaming and so the list goes on!
Opinions do not dictate someone's reality and neither do your personal experiences.
Have a lovely weekend xx |
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We stopped going but have recently started to go again but only very occasionally and even then our guard is very much "up" .
We stopped because there are far too many people using their phones in clubs now so they don't feel like a safe space anymore.
All you have to do is look at people's pics on here and play "guess the club". It appears that privacy and etiquette has gone right out the window since lockdown and some clubs are just turning a blind eye as they need the income in difficult times.
Mr H. |
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"We find it a little strange in a lifestyle as this there are many who seem to seek echo chambers of their opinions!
Like clubs vs don't like clubs, Bi vs not bi, kink vs kink shaming and so the list goes on!
Opinions do not dictate someone's reality and neither do your personal experiences.
Have a lovely weekend xx"
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In our opinion clubs offer an environment to explore and be in this lifestyle in a far safer environment than private or party meets. The social scene at clubs is great and there is less expectation of guaranteed sex which you definitely get at house parties and private meets.
We attend different clubs and go on couples nights and singles nights. Single guys disappoint we think is normally due expectations not being met if you come to a club with no expectation and just go for the social atmosphere anything else is then a positive. |
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"We stopped going but have recently started to go again but only very occasionally and even then our guard is very much "up" .
We stopped because there are far too many people using their phones in clubs now so they don't feel like a safe space anymore.
All you have to do is look at people's pics on here and play "guess the club". It appears that privacy and etiquette has gone right out the window since lockdown and some clubs are just turning a blind eye as they need the income in difficult times.
Mr H."
I'd hope that everyone would report people using phones in clubs, when against their rules  |
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"We are also sharing our learning here - which to me is British whites absolute love of black man and ignorance/ghosting/avoidance of brown man is widely seen in the club scene. Expectation from browns to be approachable and have good communication skills, dress up nicely etc etc - whereas, other party just have to unzip without even saying a word and gets full attention. So telling everyone here that it is not a problem is like sweeping real issue of racism under the carpet. Why because I had never observed such a behaviour in any club in US, where Indians are loved by White Americans, Latinos and blacks because Indians are respected there. Here it’s very different, so stopped going to club and waste my precious three, Time, Energy and Money. "
The fetishising of people based on their skin colour makes me uneasy. Just turns me off so quickly when I see people talking about BBC or BWC. |
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"We stopped going but have recently started to go again but only very occasionally and even then our guard is very much "up" .
We stopped because there are far too many people using their phones in clubs now so they don't feel like a safe space anymore.
All you have to do is look at people's pics on here and play "guess the club". It appears that privacy and etiquette has gone right out the window since lockdown and some clubs are just turning a blind eye as they need the income in difficult times.
Mr H.
I'd hope that everyone would report people using phones in clubs, when against their rules "
Sadly that hasn't been our experience and when we've reported people we've been met with a disinterested attitude and on one occasion sometime last year was told by the staff "oh that's just (insert regulars name here) he's ok". It's a shame as we used to love clubs and spent a lot (maybe too much) time at them.
Mr H |
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Yep been once and felt like a lot of the vibes in this 'lifestyle' the men are left feeling either used or surplus to requirements. I'm definitely much more worthy of a lady's time than I felt as a single guy in a club. Wasn't nice at all, from being stung for double the money as women or couples simply because of the 'numbers' or 'demand' and feeling like some kind of leper or failure for being single, left early having ticked the box and curiousity satisfied. Won't be back to any club as a single guy.
I'm just much more worthy of being felt like a commodity for certain women, and the vision of guys standing around wanking is just boak, never catch me partaking in that.
Maybe I'm the 'normal weirdo' ..lol |
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By *bi HaiveMan 8 hours ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"We stopped going but have recently started to go again but only very occasionally and even then our guard is very much "up" .
We stopped because there are far too many people using their phones in clubs now so they don't feel like a safe space anymore.
All you have to do is look at people's pics on here and play "guess the club". It appears that privacy and etiquette has gone right out the window since lockdown and some clubs are just turning a blind eye as they need the income in difficult times.
Mr H.
I'd hope that everyone would report people using phones in clubs, when against their rules "
Xtasia takes them off you on entry and does bag searches.
I've never seen one in the club. |
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"We stopped going but have recently started to go again but only very occasionally and even then our guard is very much "up" .
We stopped because there are far too many people using their phones in clubs now so they don't feel like a safe space anymore.
All you have to do is look at people's pics on here and play "guess the club". It appears that privacy and etiquette has gone right out the window since lockdown and some clubs are just turning a blind eye as they need the income in difficult times.
Mr H.
I'd hope that everyone would report people using phones in clubs, when against their rules
Xtasia takes them off you on entry and does bag searches.
I've never seen one in the club. "
Yep but it's a bit of a trek for a night out
Mr H |
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My first experience of being in a club was this... noticing a lot of single guys hovering around women and couples. A lot of single guys hiding away in the social area and not talking to anyone.
It baffled me to be honest. I mean I'm a single guy and even if I don't get any action, I'm not fucking going to be going to a club to hide away. It is a waste of my time. So I just enjoyed up chatting to people. Made a few connections and now part of a few telegram groups.
Clubs are what you want them to be. If you feel put of place in one club. Go to another. |
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We have had
Doors kicked in (literally) and people demanding to join in.
A man cry when I said no. Floods of tears
A man wanking in the changing room whilst winking at me before I'd even done as much as taken my coat off
A running commentary outside a play room between a group of men, "wish they'd get on with it, turn her around mate, I can't see etc" like I was there for their sole amusement.
Then add in some places need some serious love (tired, dirty, broken things) and as time has gone on going to a club holds less appeal. |
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"We have had
Doors kicked in (literally) and people demanding to join in.
A man cry when I said no. Floods of tears
A man wanking in the changing room whilst winking at me before I'd even done as much as taken my coat off
A running commentary outside a play room between a group of men, "wish they'd get on with it, turn her around mate, I can't see etc" like I was there for their sole amusement.
Then add in some places need some serious love (tired, dirty, broken things) and as time has gone on going to a club holds less appeal. "
Apart fom the first and last on the list, that sounds like good entertainment value for the admission fee!
With regard to the man winking and wanking, you have to understand that competition among single suitors is intense, so it usually pays to get noticed early on! |
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"We are also sharing our learning here - which to me is British whites absolute love of black man and ignorance/ghosting/avoidance of brown man is widely seen in the club scene. Expectation from browns to be approachable and have good communication skills, dress up nicely etc etc - whereas, other party just have to unzip without even saying a word and gets full attention. So telling everyone here that it is not a problem is like sweeping real issue of racism under the carpet. Why because I had never observed such a behaviour in any club in US, where Indians are loved by White Americans, Latinos and blacks because Indians are respected there. Here it’s very different, so stopped going to club and waste my precious three, Time, Energy and Money.
The fetishising of people based on their skin colour makes me uneasy. Just turns me off so quickly when I see people talking about BBC or BWC. "
Agree |
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We have been going to clubs for years and never had any problems we also sometimes work in our local club,the staff are always on the lookout for trouble, I have personally had to remove one female from the club because she had her phone out, single guys get a bad reputation in clubs and alot of the time it really is unnecessary, yes there are issues but then there are issues anywhere you go, we feel safe and more relaxed in a swingers club than we do in a normal club or bar.
There are some not so great clubs but there are some amazing clubs with friendly and inviting people xx
At least in the clubs you can actually meet real people,we will only meet in clubs now, most of our friends are from going to clubs |
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I spent my money at better places like the parties happening around King cross station london on Thursdays, chill atmosphere, from host to attendees everyone chats, no racial fetishes..and most of them play…some just watch..but it’s best for my time, energy and money….dont feel ghosted/ignored.
There are some people who organise such parties here - with Red Flag: No Asians…so how should I take it then them being racist lot…painted all Asians as lunatics as some are, but in what race you don’t have lunatics.. |
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"I spent my money at better places like the parties happening around King cross station london on Thursdays, chill atmosphere, from host to attendees everyone chats, no racial fetishes..and most of them play…some just watch..but it’s best for my time, energy and money….dont feel ghosted/ignored.
There are some people who organise such parties here - with Red Flag: No Asians…so how should I take it then them being racist lot…painted all Asians as lunatics as some are, but in what race you don’t have lunatics.."
I am not painting all Asian men with the same brush, also due to the fact "Asian" is a very broad term. However, on at least 75% of occasions where men touched me without permission or were degrading to me before knowing what I was into came, sadly, from men of brown skin. Therefore, excuse me for being very cautious around men of brown skin. |
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By *eyeYCouple 7 hours ago
Nr Leicester |
"We have had
Doors kicked in (literally) and people demanding to join in.
A man cry when I said no. Floods of tears
A man wanking in the changing room whilst winking at me before I'd even done as much as taken my coat off
A running commentary outside a play room between a group of men, "wish they'd get on with it, turn her around mate, I can't see etc" like I was there for their sole amusement.
Then add in some places need some serious love (tired, dirty, broken things) and as time has gone on going to a club holds less appeal. "
Wow your experiences eclipse ours in the 'wtf' stakes.. 🤯🙄 We've kind of reached the same place though.
Last club visit and it was a well known one frankly had cold smelly changing rooms and couches we didn't want to sit on.. We felt dirty and not in a good way 🙄🤣 |
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"I spent my money at better places like the parties happening around King cross station london on Thursdays, chill atmosphere, from host to attendees everyone chats, no racial fetishes..and most of them play…some just watch..but it’s best for my time, energy and money….dont feel ghosted/ignored.
There are some people who organise such parties here - with Red Flag: No Asians…so how should I take it then them being racist lot…painted all Asians as lunatics as some are, but in what race you don’t have lunatics..
I am not painting all Asian men with the same brush, also due to the fact "Asian" is a very broad term. However, on at least 75% of occasions where men touched me without permission or were degrading to me before knowing what I was into came, sadly, from men of brown skin. Therefore, excuse me for being very cautious around men of brown skin. "
Yes, I agree, many Asians aren’t Indian and you cannot differentiate by their looks…I am mainly talking about brown Indians, who dress up nicely, smell nice, behave properly and good with communication - and I am one among them. But I agree I have personally seen crowd at Attic, some couldn’t speak English properly. So I get your point. |
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"We have had
Doors kicked in (literally) and people demanding to join in.
A man cry when I said no. Floods of tears
A man wanking in the changing room whilst winking at me before I'd even done as much as taken my coat off
A running commentary outside a play room between a group of men, "wish they'd get on with it, turn her around mate, I can't see etc" like I was there for their sole amusement.
Then add in some places need some serious love (tired, dirty, broken things) and as time has gone on going to a club holds less appeal.
Wow your experiences eclipse ours in the 'wtf' stakes.. 🤯🙄 We've kind of reached the same place though.
Last club visit and it was a well known one frankly had cold smelly changing rooms and couches we didn't want to sit on.. We felt dirty and not in a good way 🙄🤣"
Last club we went to, which we won't name as others may like it
We stayed less than 10 min.
Imagine Brassic with less teeth and less clothes.
|
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"We have had
Doors kicked in (literally) and people demanding to join in.
A man cry when I said no. Floods of tears
A man wanking in the changing room whilst winking at me before I'd even done as much as taken my coat off
A running commentary outside a play room between a group of men, "wish they'd get on with it, turn her around mate, I can't see etc" like I was there for their sole amusement.
Then add in some places need some serious love (tired, dirty, broken things) and as time has gone on going to a club holds less appeal.
Apart fom the first and last on the list, that sounds like good entertainment value for the admission fee!
With regard to the man winking and wanking, you have to understand that competition among single suitors is intense, so it usually pays to get noticed early on!"
There are ways to get noticed (I find hello etc works reasonably well....) rather than standing 6 ft away from me beating your cock half to death whilst looking like you are having a medical episode.
Safe to say he didn't get lucky. |
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By *eyeYCouple 5 hours ago
Nr Leicester |
"We have had
Doors kicked in (literally) and people demanding to join in.
A man cry when I said no. Floods of tears
A man wanking in the changing room whilst winking at me before I'd even done as much as taken my coat off
A running commentary outside a play room between a group of men, "wish they'd get on with it, turn her around mate, I can't see etc" like I was there for their sole amusement.
Then add in some places need some serious love (tired, dirty, broken things) and as time has gone on going to a club holds less appeal.
Wow your experiences eclipse ours in the 'wtf' stakes.. 🤯🙄 We've kind of reached the same place though.
Last club visit and it was a well known one frankly had cold smelly changing rooms and couches we didn't want to sit on.. We felt dirty and not in a good way 🙄🤣
Last club we went to, which we won't name as others may like it
We stayed less than 10 min.
Imagine Brassic with less teeth and less clothes.
"
Sounds familiar.. 🤯🤣 and ditto we didn't name either.. 💯 |
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"We have had
Doors kicked in (literally) and people demanding to join in.
A man cry when I said no. Floods of tears
A man wanking in the changing room whilst winking at me before I'd even done as much as taken my coat off
A running commentary outside a play room between a group of men, "wish they'd get on with it, turn her around mate, I can't see etc" like I was there for their sole amusement.
Then add in some places need some serious love (tired, dirty, broken things) and as time has gone on going to a club holds less appeal.
Apart fom the first and last on the list, that sounds like good entertainment value for the admission fee!
With regard to the man winking and wanking, you have to understand that competition among single suitors is intense, so it usually pays to get noticed early on!"
even so there is etiquette and respect. he just sounds like a dirty pervert |
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To answer the original question. As a long time visitor to many, many clubs around the country I am now done. As a solo male the experience is now typically bad, degrading and expensive. It’s a shame as many of the clubs facilities and the vast majority of owners and staff are fabulous.
If I want a pleasant interaction or chat with the opposite sex or a couple without them being rude or dismissive,almost anywhere else is a better place to go than a swinging club these days.
Shame, used to really enjoy the experience.
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"My first experience of being in a club was this... noticing a lot of single guys hovering around women and couples. A lot of single guys hiding away in the social area and not talking to anyone.
It baffled me to be honest. I mean I'm a single guy and even if I don't get any action, I'm not fucking going to be going to a club to hide away. It is a waste of my time. So I just enjoyed up chatting to people. Made a few connections and now part of a few telegram groups.
Clubs are what you want them to be. If you feel put of place in one club. Go to another. "
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Well I just got my tickets for Pleasures Christmas party
Couples and single ladies only
No one walking around in towels wanking as not a dress down club. Everyone will be dressed to impress and then dressed in sexy lingerie
Csnt bloody wait as usual for a fabulous night |
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