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Single male. First time experience at a club
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Was absolutely amazing. Had such a lovely time using the facilities and chatting to people that I kept going back.
Made a friend my first time in a club and we made a regular thing of going on a Friday night for a couple of years.
And on one visit I suggested she play with a guy who wasn't her regular type and they've been together for years and are getting married.
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Absolutely nerve-wracking. But the best way to do a thing is to do it and I really wanted to experience it. Just to add social situations are not easy for me, especially in unfamiliar places. However I did my research in the morning and was on the train by the afternoon.
It's was (and to some extent when visiting alone still is) hard work. However I was my normal freindly, smiley, respectful self. I realise people won't come to me so I had to make the efforts. So were appropriate (reading the room) I introduced myself to people I was intrested in. Not necessarily always sexually, just socially to find my feet (plus my sexual intrest tends to develop on social interaction). People were generally freindly and pleasant. Not always though. The club in question was generally single male heavy. Some are jaded and you can sense a hostility as soon as you go over. One group of ladies was incredibly rude to me and basically told me to fuck off before I'd even interacted with them (there was nothing to suggest it was an inappropriate time in a social area). If I'm honest I think it was an unlucky run in with a bad group. I/we have encountered such groups of ladies on the rare occasion in the club scene. But on the whole met some lovely people and made to feel welcome. Naturally you can't be everones cup of tea. Bumped into a lady I'd talked to off the forums. We ended up having a great time and it was a great success. I never looked back after that. So glad I went. It's not easy but rewarding and you meet some great people. Also selecting the right club and night/party can make all the difference.
Mr |
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"Was absolutely amazing. Had such a lovely time using the facilities and chatting to people that I kept going back.
Made a friend my first time in a club and we made a regular thing of going on a Friday night for a couple of years.
And on one visit I suggested she play with a guy who wasn't her regular type and they've been together for years and are getting married.
"
well that’s a bit of a fairy tale ending. Thanks. |
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"Absolutely nerve-wracking. But the best way to do a thing is to do it and I really wanted to experience it. Just to add social situations are not easy for me, especially in unfamiliar places. However I did my research in the morning and was on the train by the afternoon.
It's was (and to some extent when visiting alone still is) hard work. However I was my normal freindly, smiley, respectful self. I realise people won't come to me so I had to make the efforts. So were appropriate (reading the room) I introduced myself to people I was intrested in. Not necessarily always sexually, just socially to find my feet (plus my sexual intrest tends to develop on social interaction). People were generally freindly and pleasant. Not always though. The club in question was generally single male heavy. Some are jaded and you can sense a hostility as soon as you go over. One group of ladies was incredibly rude to me and basically told me to fuck off before I'd even interacted with them (there was nothing to suggest it was an inappropriate time in a social area). If I'm honest I think it was an unlucky run in with a bad group. I/we have encountered such groups of ladies on the rare occasion in the club scene. But on the whole met some lovely people and made to feel welcome. Naturally you can't be everones cup of tea. Bumped into a lady I'd talked to off the forums. We ended up having a great time and it was a great success. I never looked back after that. So glad I went. It's not easy but rewarding and you meet some great people. Also selecting the right club and night/party can make all the difference.
Mr"
Thank you for such a detailed response |
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Genuinely not as scary as you think it might be. My first time solo was at Townhouse and although I'd been there previously as a couple I was really nervous going on my own. It was not worth the anxiety. I think as long as you don't come across as predatory or weird, most people are open to a chat and you can explain it's your first time and that you feel a bit awkward. That's a good way to relax into a conversation because everyone has had 'first time in a swingers club awkwardness'. Go for it and just pretend it's a normal bar with a friendly clientele. |
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"Genuinely not as scary as you think it might be. My first time solo was at Townhouse and although I'd been there previously as a couple I was really nervous going on my own. It was not worth the anxiety. I think as long as you don't come across as predatory or weird, most people are open to a chat and you can explain it's your first time and that you feel a bit awkward. That's a good way to relax into a conversation because everyone has had 'first time in a swingers club awkwardness'. Go for it and just pretend it's a normal bar with a friendly clientele."
thanks Surf. Solid advice
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By *ac995Man 49 weeks ago
Aberdeen |
"Hi all. I’m trying to get the nerve to attend a club. As a single guy I’m extremely nervous about attending by myself.
Could any single tell me about their first time at a club "
Physical: Be presentable
Shower
Wear something nice
Maybe a little aftershave
Headspace: Don’t have expectations for playing
Social over play it all leads up to it!
Do not be one of the wanking dead that goes around it ruins the vibe!
Just be social and enjoy!
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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What others have said. Rule 1: don’t be a dickhead.
Go with an open mind and no specific expectations. Be yourself. Worst case, you get to spend some time in a relaxed yet sexually charged environment. Best case … who knows?
My first time was daytime at the old Kestrels. So nervous my hands were shaking as I signed in. But relaxed into it as soon as I was naked and in the pool. |
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"Hi all. I’m trying to get the nerve to attend a club. As a single guy I’m extremely nervous about attending by myself.
Could any single tell me about their first time at a club
Physical: Be presentable
Shower
Wear something nice
Maybe a little aftershave
Headspace: Don’t have expectations for playing
Social over play it all leads up to it!
Do not be one of the wanking dead that goes around it ruins the vibe!
Just be social and enjoy!
"
sound advice. The first 4 should be regulation! Thanks |
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"What others have said. Rule 1: don’t be a dickhead.
Go with an open mind and no specific expectations. Be yourself. Worst case, you get to spend some time in a relaxed yet sexually charged environment. Best case … who knows?
My first time was daytime at the old Kestrels. So nervous my hands were shaking as I signed in. But relaxed into it as soon as I was naked and in the pool."
Thank you for your comment |
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Used to go regularly before I met Becky.
Not so daunting, just be approachable.
Read the room
Know when to back off and don’t expect that because someone says hello to you they’re going to have sex with you.
Don’t stare.
Don’t follow.
Just behave as you would in any other social environment.
Be polite.
|
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"Used to go regularly before I met Becky.
Not so daunting, just be approachable.
Read the room
Know when to back off and don’t expect that because someone says hello to you they’re going to have sex with you.
Don’t stare.
Don’t follow.
Just behave as you would in any other social environment.
Be polite.
"
Thanks for the solid advice |
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