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First experience at Chams. Advice for next visit?
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By *enleywoods OP Couple
over a year ago
Stourbridge / Oxford |
We went to Chams for the first time a few weeks ago on a Friday. It was our first time at anything like this. As an older couple and BBW we were a bit apprehensive but that didn't seem to be a problem. She got into things very quickly and although she wasn't ready for full sex she had a good time. We didn't stay long because she got overwhelmed for a first visit.
We experienced a lot of single men most who were really just there to fuck anyone with no preliminaries. It was a bit off putting having to fight them off. How do you cope with this? A few were nice and did come to chat. Most couples were just chatting in the bar and rest areas - do they tend to play later?
Did we leave to early, about 10.30? Should we aim to arrive later and stay later?
We are thinking of our next visit, either a Saturday or Monday (we are both bi-curious). We assume that Saturday will be better without the singles? Should we aim to go later and stay later? We think it would be a good idea to make contacts here so we can meet up and have a couple to talk to and show us how it works.
How busy is bi night? Are the single men any more respectfull?
Any advice on how to get the most from the visit?
Thanks,
H&T
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Hi H and T. I can't answer your cham specific questions but someone will be along soon I am sure.
I would agree with you that getting there later and leaving later might be better for chances of couples play.
I've noticed at the couple's nights lots start to play a lot later.
We left our local club at 12 the other week because our babysitter was having problems and I'd say things were just kicking off in many ways |
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I am a regular at chams on a Friday night. You have to be quite blunt at times.
If you are not interested stop giving of any kind of vibe that you are, if they persist or ask if they can joint you just say no thanks.
I go on my own and I’ve never really had a problem that a sharp word doesn’t fix.
All I can say is don’t be passive.
Try Saturday nights. It’s couple nights and completely different. |
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I am a regular at chams on a Friday night. You have to be quite blunt at times.
If you are not interested stop giving of any kind of vibe that you are, if they persist or ask if they can joint you just say no thanks.
I go on my own and I’ve never really had a problem that a sharp word doesn’t fix.
All I can say is don’t be passive.
Try Saturday nights. It’s couple nights and completely different. |
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I've been on Fridays and Saturdays.. honestly avoid Saturdays unless going with friends ... I find it exceptionally clicky and that play starts very late.
On Fridays I find that if you make it clear to guys that you don't want them touching or joining in. They will respect that
Saturdays maybe your thing. It's just not for me unless going with friends |
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Chameleons is our favourite Club.
Friday we find can be a bit full on. We generally prefer a Sunday, Wednesday or Thursday. More chilled. As for Saturdays if you're specifically looking for couples and single women it's naturally fine. However we find it tends to be a younger, less easy going and maybe less liberated crowd. I'm not sure if I've articulated best what I mean but hopefully people who go will understand the vibe we pick up on a Saturday. Not a criticism by the way, Chameleons is for everyone and we all are different. Being a straight male couple can't really advise on the Monday experience. Monday obviously is advertised as Bi night but of course the focus is bi guys because every club night is pretty much bi woman night.
So as for being overwhelmed (something we both understand) maybe try a Sunday or a week night. And maybe if you're going on a busy night (or even bot so busy night) look to book a room there. Having a room just gives you that space to get away for half an hour and regroup if things get a little overwhelming.
Unfortunately part of the club scene is having to learn how to be pleasantly assertive with single guy (or on a rare occasion not so pleasant). Most guys in Chameleons are perfectly good guys. They are just trying to seek the fulfilment of their desires, which is understandable. Unfortunately sometimes their not so good at reading the vibe and you have to be clear with them. Obviously if you have any trouble beyond a clear no thank you tell the club and they will be delt with. We've tended to find the worse behaviour in the club comes from couples and we've seen it from some single ladies too. It's OK and best to not mince your words with single guys. Be polite but also very clear, that works best for everyone.
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By *enleywoods OP Couple
over a year ago
Stourbridge / Oxford |
Seems we were not firm enough as newbies and need to be more direct. We didn't expect people to be quite so full on. We probably were giving the wrong impression by accident, not knowing any better. It wasn't that we weren't up for playing with the guys, just not straight in (pun intended). |
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"Seems we were not firm enough as newbies and need to be more direct. We didn't expect people to be quite so full on. We probably were giving the wrong impression by accident, not knowing any better. It wasn't that we weren't up for playing with the guys, just not straight in (pun intended). "
I doubt it was you guys giving the wrong impression. It's more a lot of guys are hungry and forthright (often a little too much in what they seek). Sometimes they just don't seem to read the vibe (which is fine, no ones a mind reader) or it's just wishful thinking or Sometimes consciously chose to ignore the vide (which is not so ok). Personally we prefer it when guys aren't so full on and things naturally progress at our pace as we become comfortable in their company (and hopefully as they do in our company too). Unfortunately for us too many guys bang the pressure on really early doors. Fine if 0-60 is your way of doing stuff but its not for us. Just do you, be clear with people who are not working out for you and you will find your people at some point. |
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We have tried a few Fridays and it’s like a sausage fest, followed round by some and even had one guy try walking in the wife’s face while we were playing together.
Saturday is our favourite more relaxed and always seem to have fun in the couples room.
Only been to one bi night but we had prearranged on here to meet another bi couple and spent the night in the couples room again with other bi couples which was fun. |
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I’ve had more trouble with entitled couples than I have with single men.
Single men seem to understand they aren’t for everyone and take it well.
Couples think I should be desperate and they are way more likely to touch without asking. |
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"I’ve had more trouble with entitled couples than I have with single men.
Single men seem to understand they aren’t for everyone and take it well.
Couples think I should be desperate and they are way more likely to touch without asking. "
Agreed. Guys tend to just simply move on, no dramas.
Some couples however seem to start the most dramas in our experience and don't always take a no thankyou or a polite please don't do that very well. Most of the very rare arguments we've seen have been between couples.
On the point of entitlement we've seen a few couples with what we call the kid with the goalie gloves syndrome. Basically they believe just because they're brought a woman as part of the package it give both of them special rights and default access to other couples and single ladies. And when challenged on their behaviour they tend not to take it so well. |
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Glad I’ve read this post as we will be going there tomorrow night for the first time
I’ve only heard good things from everyone we have spoken too so will be interesting to see what it’s like
we will be more than happy to share our view on the place after we have been |
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By *x cplCouple
over a year ago
North of Oxford |
To be honest we've never had an issue with guys at chams. But we do tend to socialise in the rest areas as you deem them, far more than just wandering around. Could it of been your perception of the guys ? They do tend to follow couples and often appear too nervous to chat a lot of the time same as in most clubs. Chams has a strict policy and enforces it that if guys touch without permission (consent they are warned or even removed from the club) Roxy is quite comfortable to wander the club on Friday nights alone or even dance alone in the starlight lounge. As too leaving early..some go early leave early..some stay later..We must say the busiest play period seems to be 9pm to.1am then it starts dying on average but every nights different. But by all means if a guys following or trying to touch tell them..NO if you don't want..it does work...and on the very odd occasion it won't report to staff.. |
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"We went to Chams for the first time a few weeks ago on a Friday. It was our first time at anything like this. As an older couple and BBW we were a bit apprehensive but that didn't seem to be a problem. She got into things very quickly and although she wasn't ready for full sex she had a good time. We didn't stay long because she got overwhelmed for a first visit.
We experienced a lot of single men most who were really just there to fuck anyone with no preliminaries. It was a bit off putting having to fight them off. How do you cope with this? A few were nice and did come to chat. Most couples were just chatting in the bar and rest areas - do they tend to play later?
Did we leave to early, about 10.30? Should we aim to arrive later and stay later?
We are thinking of our next visit, either a Saturday or Monday (we are both bi-curious). We assume that Saturday will be better without the singles? Should we aim to go later and stay later? We think it would be a good idea to make contacts here so we can meet up and have a couple to talk to and show us how it works.
How busy is bi night? Are the single men any more respectfull?
Any advice on how to get the most from the visit?
Thanks,
H&T
"
Know how you feel,
I took Amie for her first club visit to Chams on a Friday night and like yourselves she was a bit overwhelmed ( perhaps a Friday night wasn’t the best of ideas and I thought I had blown it) we only stopped for just over two hours and didn’t play just watched and got used to the whole swing of things ( no pun intended)
After a couple of days we were talking about it and to my surprise Amie hadn’t been put off by the experience or the number of single guys so I suggested trying a Sunday as we had been told Sundays were not so full on,
We tried a Sunday and have got to say it’s probably one of the best decisions we have made, yes not so full on and not so many single guys but enough to have plenty of fun, we then tried a Monday night (Bi night) which we have found to be our favourite day to go,
We have done other days and even tried a Saturday afternoon which was good but then we noticed a really big change in atmosphere after 7pm (no single guys allowed after 7pm) needless to say we don’t do Saturday nights anymore,
So back to your original question, in our opinion you can’t go wrong with a Sunday or Monday, |
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We’ve never been to Chams before but looking to go on a Saturday night, perhaps the Xmas party? Also would like to book a room to stay there. Have emailed them but no reply yet. For first timers is it best to get in touch first or can you just turn up? |
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"We’ve never been to Chams before but looking to go on a Saturday night, perhaps the Xmas party? Also would like to book a room to stay there. Have emailed them but no reply yet. For first timers is it best to get in touch first or can you just turn up? "
I don't think they reply to e-mails tbh, it's probably best to give them a ring. |
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"We went to Chams for the first time a few weeks ago on a Friday. It was our first time at anything like this. As an older couple and BBW we were a bit apprehensive but that didn't seem to be a problem. She got into things very quickly and although she wasn't ready for full sex she had a good time. We didn't stay long because she got overwhelmed for a first visit.
We experienced a lot of single men most who were really just there to fuck anyone with no preliminaries. It was a bit off putting having to fight them off. How do you cope with this? A few were nice and did come to chat. Most couples were just chatting in the bar and rest areas - do they tend to play later?
Did we leave to early, about 10.30? Should we aim to arrive later and stay later?
We are thinking of our next visit, either a Saturday or Monday (we are both bi-curious). We assume that Saturday will be better without the singles? Should we aim to go later and stay later? We think it would be a good idea to make contacts here so we can meet up and have a couple to talk to and show us how it works.
How busy is bi night? Are the single men any more respectfull?
Any advice on how to get the most from the visit?
Thanks,
H&T
"
We've been doing Chams for almost 2 years now. In that 2 years we've done 1 friday and that was enough. We'll never do another one. It was intense to say the least.
Saturdays are our favourite. We usually get there quite early, out of excitement more than anything, like 5pm early and we stay as long as we're having fun. The single guys all depart by 7.30 and then you can relax. Although even getting there at 5 hasn't been an issue for us.
Definitely try a Saturday and aim for after 7.30 and you'll see how different the vibe is. |
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