FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Success on Fab v Success in clubs
Success on Fab v Success in clubs
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As a single man, I have no luck on fab getting any meets and barely any replies. One of my concerns about going to clubs of events like UTB is that the women I'll meet have already rejected me on here and I will just be talking to people i recognise but who i know are already thinking they have no interest.
Is this a reasonable or a paranoid way of thinking?! |
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We only meet for the 1st time in clubs and put out a date in the meetings forum ,normally 6 - 8 males say they will attend and 2 or 3 will attend
So our advice is to look at the meetings in clubs and send a pm to organiser
I am sure other males will have a different opinion but it works for us……  |
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By *i3188Man
over a year ago
Just outside Spalding |
"As a single man, I have no luck on fab getting any meets and barely any replies. One of my concerns about going to clubs of events like UTB is that the women I'll meet have already rejected me on here and I will just be talking to people i recognise but who i know are already thinking they have no interest.
Is this a reasonable or a paranoid way of thinking?!"
Absolutely spot on , as a single guy couldn’t have put it better myself.
Fab is a bit of a waste of time in all honesty if you are single, genuine, polite and straight!
But let’s not lose sight of the fact that the Fab website is indeed the advertising medium/ platform for most clubs in the country .
How many times do you see people who post content on fab ( mainly pics & Vids etc ) promoting Club meets etc etc .
It’s all geared towards club meets ….. hence why you get very little luck on Fab my friend.
Just an observation of what seems to happen . |
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"As a single man, I have no luck on fab getting any meets and barely any replies. One of my concerns about going to clubs of events like UTB is that the women I'll meet have already rejected me on here and I will just be talking to people i recognise but who i know are already thinking they have no interest.
Is this a reasonable or a paranoid way of thinking?!
Absolutely spot on , as a single guy couldn’t have put it better myself.
Fab is a bit of a waste of time in all honesty if you are single, genuine, polite and straight!
But let’s not lose sight of the fact that the Fab website is indeed the advertising medium/ platform for most clubs in the country .
How many times do you see people who post content on fab ( mainly pics & Vids etc ) promoting Club meets etc etc .
It’s all geared towards club meets ….. hence why you get very little luck on Fab my friend.
Just an observation of what seems to happen ."
Ye. I guess it makes you feel like why bother going to a club or a big social if everyone going has already turned you down. Yes in person you might have more success but if you have been ruled out based on appearance or your profile then it gives singles 0 desire to have that rejection depeened in person |
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By *piceyMan
over a year ago
your marital bed given the chance |
Pre COVID it was difficult for clubs to promote on here, to message potentials regarding invitations etc
The fact being the clubs actually bring traffic to fabs.
Success will naturally be better for guys at clubs dependent of attitude as the place is full of swingers.
Each to their own isn’t it. You have a choice to attend or not. Of course married men will tend not to go for fear of bumping into the wrong people.
Guys can have success on here if they read the profile they are messaging properly and are relevant in sending messages.
Hi, hey hun, and irrelevant cut and pastes simply don’t cut it.
Guys like me are two a penny. We need to remember this lifestyle is a woman’s scene. We have to put the hard yards in.
The club scene is a short cut to success for those that take that route. Attitude and appearance either way needs to be spot on.
Guys need to look at themselves in the first instance before apportioning blame elsewhere is my belief.
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"As a single man, I have no luck on fab getting any meets and barely any replies. One of my concerns about going to clubs of events like UTB is that the women I'll meet have already rejected me on here and I will just be talking to people i recognise but who i know are already thinking they have no interest.
Is this a reasonable or a paranoid way of thinking?!"
Personally it would matter to us if we’d said no thanks on here then bumped into you in a club we’d take you on face value and your more likely be able to put your personality across in person.
The only time we wouldn’t engage with someone is if we’d blocked them for being offensive. |
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"Pre COVID it was difficult for clubs to promote on here, to message potentials regarding invitations etc
The fact being the clubs actually bring traffic to fabs.
Success will naturally be better for guys at clubs dependent of attitude as the place is full of swingers.
Each to their own isn’t it. You have a choice to attend or not. Of course married men will tend not to go for fear of bumping into the wrong people.
Guys can have success on here if they read the profile they are messaging properly and are relevant in sending messages.
Hi, hey hun, and irrelevant cut and pastes simply don’t cut it.
Guys like me are two a penny. We need to remember this lifestyle is a woman’s scene. We have to put the hard yards in.
The club scene is a short cut to success for those that take that route. Attitude and appearance either way needs to be spot on.
Guys need to look at themselves in the first instance before apportioning blame elsewhere is my belief.
"
My messages on here are always polite and draw on profile detail. That isn't the issue at all. |
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"As a single man, I have no luck on fab getting any meets and barely any replies. One of my concerns about going to clubs of events like UTB is that the women I'll meet have already rejected me on here and I will just be talking to people i recognise but who i know are already thinking they have no interest.
Is this a reasonable or a paranoid way of thinking?!
Personally it would matter to us if we’d said no thanks on here then bumped into you in a club we’d take you on face value and your more likely be able to put your personality across in person.
The only time we wouldn’t engage with someone is if we’d blocked them for being offensive. "
That's interesting. Is there a particular reason for that? Isnit just on here people are inundated and messaging is too much hassle...esp picking through the inbox dross when you get quite a lot? |
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"Personally it would matter to us if we’d said no thanks on here then bumped into you in a club we’d take you on face value and your more likely be able to put your personality across in person.
The only time we wouldn’t engage with someone is if we’d blocked them for being offensive."
I agree with this, and am the same. Sometimes you get a vibe from someone in person that you don't necessarily get from a message. That and it can be hard wading through the dreamers and fakes on here, clubs you generally know you're all there for the same reason.... |
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By *piceyMan
over a year ago
your marital bed given the chance |
"Pre COVID it was difficult for clubs to promote on here, to message potentials regarding invitations etc
The fact being the clubs actually bring traffic to fabs.
Success will naturally be better for guys at clubs dependent of attitude as the place is full of swingers.
Each to their own isn’t it. You have a choice to attend or not. Of course married men will tend not to go for fear of bumping into the wrong people.
Guys can have success on here if they read the profile they are messaging properly and are relevant in sending messages.
Hi, hey hun, and irrelevant cut and pastes simply don’t cut it.
Guys like me are two a penny. We need to remember this lifestyle is a woman’s scene. We have to put the hard yards in.
The club scene is a short cut to success for those that take that route. Attitude and appearance either way needs to be spot on.
Guys need to look at themselves in the first instance before apportioning blame elsewhere is my belief.
My messages on here are always polite and draw on profile detail. That isn't the issue at all."
It was a generic belief not personal to you in particular. |
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Totally agree. If the woman is interested you will meet. To do that you have to make the effort. We receive too many messages saying. Wanna fuck your wife...and no detail about themselves and usually a cut and paste sex prologue. We've had great success in early years but getting difficult now as people are so choosy. Would love to go to clubs more but dates don't always fit our schedule. Keep trying single men |
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By *odkajemWoman
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"As a single man, I have no luck on fab getting any meets and barely any replies. One of my concerns about going to clubs of events like UTB is that the women I'll meet have already rejected me on here and I will just be talking to people i recognise but who i know are already thinking they have no interest.
Is this a reasonable or a paranoid way of thinking?!"
I go to clubs almost weekly for years and I almost have never bumped into people I've messaged with, good or 'bad', so I actually think it's a different type of person that goes to a club. Not universally of course, but I think lots of single men use this as a hook up site and aren't so aren't swingers so it follows it's a different crowd.
Give it a whirl on a non members night to keep the initial cost down, don't have any expectations, just see it as a night out in a bar you get to see live porn in, anything else is a bonus  |
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A lot of people would be unrecognisable in person versus their fab profile and it wouldn't necessarily come up in conversation anyway. With face to face you're meeting people rather than pixels on a screen so we find it much easier in clubs. |
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By *i3188Man
over a year ago
Just outside Spalding |
"Pre COVID it was difficult for clubs to promote on here, to message potentials regarding invitations etc
The fact being the clubs actually bring traffic to fabs.
Success will naturally be better for guys at clubs dependent of attitude as the place is full of swingers.
Each to their own isn’t it. You have a choice to attend or not. Of course married men will tend not to go for fear of bumping into the wrong people.
Guys can have success on here if they read the profile they are messaging properly and are relevant in sending messages.
Hi, hey hun, and irrelevant cut and pastes simply don’t cut it.
Guys like me are two a penny. We need to remember this lifestyle is a woman’s scene. We have to put the hard yards in.
The club scene is a short cut to success for those that take that route. Attitude and appearance either way needs to be spot on.
Guys need to look at themselves in the first instance before apportioning blame elsewhere is my belief.
My messages on here are always polite and draw on profile detail. That isn't the issue at all."
I agree with that …. Seems a reasonable opinion to have .
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Interaction is different in clubs and I take people for how they are, as well as my nerds, on any specific day. Things change. I also don't keep track of those I've not pursued things with. I let go and every day I start afresh. I think many are similar to me.
If single men want to get into swinging and, especially if they get no traction on fab, it makes sense to visit clubs. There are many people at clubs who aren't prolific in Fab, nor living in the vicinity.
In any event, people will get to know others over time. It's unrealistic to expect 1 visit to give you everything you need. |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
"As a single man, I have no luck on fab getting any meets and barely any replies. One of my concerns about going to clubs of events like UTB is that the women I'll meet have already rejected me on here and I will just be talking to people i recognise but who i know are already thinking they have no interest.
Is this a reasonable or a paranoid way of thinking?!"
We say always be positive and never negative. We say you are paranoid. We started going to clubs due to having time wasters mess us about. Fab for us is now a tool to keep in touch with folk we meet in clubs. Like someone said all the status's that go up is supporting a visit to clubs so we are a couple who do that. Not everyone in a club will be people who have blocked you. There are a lot of people who go to clubs not even on fab. Our advice OP is go and expand your horizons. Go with no expectations and do some networking. If you are polite, talk to people and just have a great night socialising you will find a club a great relaxing place with naughty if you click with anyone. Just go for it  |
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On fab, all you have to go off is whatever is in a profile and message. I do a quick scan of both. If they don’t appeal or are off putting, I delete. If there’s nothing to go off, I definitely delete. I might be deleting all kinds of people I’d get on with in the flesh.
It’s easier of course in person to gauge physical attraction and personality. That doesn’t have to mean being stunningly gorgeous either, it just means catching someone’s eye.
It works both ways - there are people I’ve been attracted to on paper but not felt that chemistry in person. |
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"On fab, all you have to go off is whatever is in a profile and message. I do a quick scan of both. If they don’t appeal or are off putting, I delete. If there’s nothing to go off, I definitely delete. I might be deleting all kinds of people I’d get on with in the flesh.
It’s easier of course in person to gauge physical attraction and personality. That doesn’t have to mean being stunningly gorgeous either, it just means catching someone’s eye.
It works both ways - there are people I’ve been attracted to on paper but not felt that chemistry in person. "
I totally agree with this. We would be much more open to chatting to someone in person, even if they didn't grab our attention on here.
Only a tiny amount of our meets come about thanks to messages on here, everything else is thanks to socials and clubs. A big issue for us is we have had so many people let us down, that unless someone has plenty of recent veris we wouldn't even consider arranging anything.
Even if nothing else comes of it, a group social is a great way to meet people in the lifestyle and get some verifications, which will in turn improve your chances on here. You could also make friends with people who will be happy to be your club buddy, so there really isn't a down side that I can see |
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" Even if nothing else comes of it, a group social is a great way to meet people in the lifestyle and get some verifications, which will in turn improve your chances on here. You could also make friends with people who will be happy to be your club buddy, so there really isn't a down side that I can see "
Absolutely, even if there is no play, I’ve met some great friends at socials. |
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I only been a couple of times as a single before I met Mrs and a couple on my own since. My experience has been very positive although not easy. Positive interms of success but also in terms of my personal development and confidence. It's incredibly hard to put myself out there in new environments with new people. But going to clubs forced me to do so. I found putting the effort in and just being myself has resulted in some good and hot times. But it is really hard, you have to push your comfort zone hard if socialising with strangers doesn't come naturally.
As for people judging you by your profile. Don't worry about that, just be the best you in a club. Sometimes I/we have met people we really like in clubs but after when we look at their profile they'd totally not be what we'd go for based on that profile. The opposite is true too. We've fancied people off fab based on their profile but met them in clubs and not fancied them in the real world. So that a long winded way to say don't worry about your profile, people will take you as they find you.
The main thing is to just get yourself out there on the scene. Hopefully as people get to know you and like you your opportunities will grow bigger. And as others have said it can be just a nice environment to enjoy socially if nothing else. You have more to gain than to lose. However selecting the right club and/or club night for you can really help.
Mr |
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Male half here. Never been on the scene as a single but I’m sure it must be easier to meet people in clubs. Although saying that I couldn’t do it myself. We’ve been out and seen single guys who with all due respect don’t look anything special but you can see that they’re very successful on the scene. Friendly, outgoing and above all respectful. Go along with no expectations and have fun whatever the outcome. If you have a huge cock 9 times out of 10 (if not more) going and sitting next to a couple in a hot tub with a face that says you owe me something and saying nothing isn’t going to get you anywhere. Women generally like people who are fun, women in the swinging scene even more so I would say. |
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"Male half here. Never been on the scene as a single but I’m sure it must be easier to meet people in clubs. Although saying that I couldn’t do it myself. We’ve been out and seen single guys who with all due respect don’t look anything special but you can see that they’re very successful on the scene. Friendly, outgoing and above all respectful. Go along with no expectations and have fun whatever the outcome. If you have a huge cock 9 times out of 10 (if not more) going and sitting next to a couple in a hot tub with a face that says you owe me something and saying nothing isn’t going to get you anywhere. Women generally like people who are fun, women in the swinging scene even more so I would say."
That makes sense i guess. No idea how id do that solo and not be creepy. Clearly every intention is transparent as fuck. What do single guys talk to people about at the clubs to get the conversation started lol |
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I find club more successful these days as I am reaching the age where I am falling out of ppls search fields. At least if I go to a club they can see I still have my teeth and can string a sentence together |
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Paranoid.
Most people in clubs are lovely and respectful- we’ve all made the same effort to go. So even if they don’t want to play, most are nice about it.
I’ve played with numerous men in clubs who aren’t my typical “type” or who I’ve later to have found I’d already blocked on here. No big deal. |
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My friend, get to socials, get to clubs. It is THE best way to meet people, make friends and network and hopefully gather some verifications through just social interaction or playing; Fab becomes easier then. Nobody is going to care about any prior Fab history or interaction unless you REALLY caused offence and they recognise you (I hope this is unlikely). You’ve got a lot going for you compared to some of the guys I see at clubs based on your profile pictures..
As for what to talk about… sat in the hot tubs, at the bar, smokers area… it can be any ol bollocks but the great thing about swingers is that you can talk about ANYTHING. the most important thing is to be pleasant, approachable, smile, be funny, a bit dirty and flirty (forget the normal social inhibitions, remember where you are and what everyone else is there for). Don’t be the guy with a face like a wet weekend in the corner. You’ll be fine, the most important thing to do is to go with no expectations, other than chill, chat and see some wildlife. Where else can you go to have a drink or two, see some gorgeous women wandering around dressed in lovely lingerie, watch people fucking (from a polite distance) and should it happen, get invited to join in. |
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TBH I have always had far more success at clubs than in here, if you have a bit of personality & charm it comes over so much better in person, also if you choose an event with a big element on play, others will see you perform, I used to regularly get invited to a daytime gang bang at a local club because I would guarantee to start the fun whilst the other guys just stood around looking perplexed and I was known for finishing the play too,l. Here is generally a waste of time, get out and get seen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've had meets from fab but meets We've had at clubs tend to be more successful. We've met many amazing people & had the best meets with people who aren't even on fab in clubs x |
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"As a single man, I have no luck on fab getting any meets and barely any replies. One of my concerns about going to clubs of events like UTB is that the women I'll meet have already rejected me on here and I will just be talking to people i recognise but who i know are already thinking they have no interest.
Is this a reasonable or a paranoid way of thinking?!"
It’s slightly paranoid, because you don’t have to admit to your actual Fab profile (at least to begin with), if you get chatting at a social event like UTB, just go with the flow…. 
For me personally; using Fab to meet likeminded people for friendship, fun and frolics, has outperformed using swinger clubs time and time again. I would never recommend to a mate that he should get himself along to a club night, whereas I would be happy to point him in Fab’s direction 
Clubs work for some (single guys), it’s true, and I have had two fantastic experiences in one of the 7 clubs I’ve visited. But out of a total of 18 visits as a single guy, that’s not a great average, and given the usual welcome of “Single guy? Thanks for your money, it’s through there”, I can tell you, feeling welcome, and included, as a single guy, is low on the priority list for the majority of clubs. Think of cyclists on the public highway; everyone can see they’re there, but most just view them as an annoying obstacle, and go out of their way to avoid them……
I’ll continue using Fab, as it works for me, but will visit the occasional club, as maybe I’ll be proven wrong one day lol….. |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
We have met some lovely single men in clubs and they didn't even get their dicks out and show us from every possible angle. Seriously though it seems on fab the crazies spoil it for the respectful. If you are polite and respectful in clubs you will do OK as folk are interested in nice guys there. We do see some single men just wandering about and not interacting with anyone thinking if they see some action they just might get the chance to join in, it just doesn't work that way. Sum it up OP, do your research via the forums for a good club for a single guy to attend. We meet most people in clubs now and have made some great friends, couples and singles. Works best for us |
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