FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Xtasia what we doing wrong
Xtasia what we doing wrong
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"Have been to Xtasia twice now and both times we hate to say w e failed to have a good night. We tried to talk to people , make connection but nothing. Sadly it did seem very clicky Even as the night progressed we saw little playing. Only room that was busy seemed to be the smoking shelter. " You are not alone 
We just can't seem to make it work at Xtasia, the only time we have ever played with anyone else there is when we went with friends and shared the big hotel room.
After an hour or two we always give up and go to make the most of the orgy room, which we have all to ourselves 
Have you tried Chameleons?
We find it much easier to chat to people there, and there is always something going on in the public play rooms
We do find Fridays easier going than Saturdays though.
 K x | |||
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"I think they should mix the nights up - swap Friday to couples & females & Saturdays to allow single men. That way they would fill a gap in the market as single men have nowhere to go after 7/8pm on a Saturday in the midlands. I find the music is too loud for chatting & making those important connections around the bar area (but I find this at most clubs)" That is an excellent idea! It's crazy that 2 clubs within 15 minutes of each other exclude single guys on the same night. | |||
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"For us it's that the guys are only part naked, just dropping there pants with the expecation of the turning a lady on. Be interesting to see if the rules were change into lingerie or boxers when you entered the downstairs area." As a couple who like a nice chilled down club Xtasia was a bit of a surprise. Our first experience of getting our kit off was later in the night in the group room. Like everyone else we dropping our kit into the huge pile of clothes in the middle of the floor. Then when Mr Misfit ran out to the bar to get much needed refreshment he looked around to see he was the only guy dressed down and all the other men were suited and booted at the bar. All looking very smart by the way but just alien to him being so dressed up that late into the evening. Then we noticed in the group room after people were finished they were scrabbling around on the dark floor to identify their own clothing from the mixed pile and getting fully dressed up again before leaving the room. Especially the males. It just seemed so bizarre and impractical to us. Not that it's a criticism we all do our swinger thing differently and that's clearly how many like it. But it was a different experience to what we were used to and not so much for us because we love to strip down and feel comfortable. | |||
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"I think they should mix the nights up - swap Friday to couples & females & Saturdays to allow single men. That way they would fill a gap in the market as single men have nowhere to go after 7/8pm on a Saturday in the midlands. " Xtasia are already catering for this scenario. I agree that it would be great to have a couples only night on a Friday local and that somewhere for single males on a Saturday and Xtasia cover both scenarios. On Fridays, it’s couples/females only in Flirts and then mixed in Xtasia. Then Saturday it’s couples/females only in Xtasia and then mixed in Flirts. Of course couples/females have the added benefit of going back and forth between the two venues. | |||
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" That is an excellent idea! It's crazy that 2 clubs within 15 minutes of each other exclude single guys on the same night. " Hopefully my answer above gives you a thumbs up. The main challenge is that they are separate businesses so will cater to a need and if they believe the market on a Saturday is for couples, that’s what they’ll aim for. Of course, there’s a considerable chunk of revenue to be taken from single males, but a lot of couples are looking for couples/females and dynamics/atmosphere would change thus putting couples off from attending. I guess with places like the Private Club within proximity, where a few couples attend, then there is something for single males. I suppose with Chams and Xtasia being couples/females only on Saturdays (though males can go to Flirts), they do have unique offerings that separate them from each other. On a personal level, we really enjoy both of the venues and like that Xtasia offers a high street nightclub experience where we order drinks at a bar, have a large dance floor to enjoy, dress up and surround ourselves with sexy people in their outfits wondering what’s on underneath versus bring your own alcohol, strip down and socialise. Granted being dressed down does seem (to us) that we end up playing a lot quicker. But we also play quite a bit in Xtasia, though getting lost in the music is as much to blame as being fully dressed to start. In our experience, I think it’s a given that when people make an effort, get dressed to the nines, and head to Xtasia, knowing it’s that nightclub vibe, the mentality seems to shift to a slower start from a playing point of view. They want to enjoy the night, vibe, flirt and then go into play, albeit a bit late. Where Chams can be more of socialise, play, socialise, then play again and occasionally party at the end of the night. Again maybe it’s the mentality thing. Just a question, as we’ve seen clubs have a variant of this. Do you think it might be a good idea to (even if it’s a once a month): 1) have a night where come 10pm you dress down (though the chill out room may offer a place if you don’t want). 2) to enter the main play area, you’re required to dress down. Maybe something like this may encourage people to play a bit more, as that’s the main difference I see between the two in terms of playing earlier in the night. | |||
" That is an excellent idea! It's crazy that 2 clubs within 15 minutes of each other exclude single guys on the same night. Hopefully my answer above gives you a thumbs up. The main challenge is that they are separate businesses so will cater to a need and if they believe the market on a Saturday is for couples, that’s what they’ll aim for. Of course, there’s a considerable chunk of revenue to be taken from single males, but a lot of couples are looking for couples/females and dynamics/atmosphere would change thus putting couples off from attending. I guess with places like the Private Club within proximity, where a few couples attend, then there is something for single males. I suppose with Chams and Xtasia being couples/females only on Saturdays (though males can go to Flirts), they do have unique offerings that separate them from each other. On a personal level, we really enjoy both of the venues and like that Xtasia offers a high street nightclub experience where we order drinks at a bar, have a large dance floor to enjoy, dress up and surround ourselves with sexy people in their outfits wondering what’s on underneath versus bring your own alcohol, strip down and socialise. Granted being dressed down does seem (to us) that we end up playing a lot quicker. But we also play quite a bit in Xtasia, though getting lost in the music is as much to blame as being fully dressed to start. In our experience, I think it’s a given that when people make an effort, get dressed to the nines, and head to Xtasia, knowing it’s that nightclub vibe, the mentality seems to shift to a slower start from a playing point of view. They want to enjoy the night, vibe, flirt and then go into play, albeit a bit late. Where Chams can be more of socialise, play, socialise, then play again and occasionally party at the end of the night. Again maybe it’s the mentality thing. Just a question, as we’ve seen clubs have a variant of this. Do you think it might be a good idea to (even if it’s a once a month): 1) have a night where come 10pm you dress down (though the chill out room may offer a place if you don’t want). 2) to enter the main play area, you’re required to dress down. Maybe something like this may encourage people to play a bit more, as that’s the main difference I see between the two in terms of playing earlier in the night." I know that used to be how they did it, but every time we have been to Xtasia recently Flirts shuts as soon as the main club opens. Either of those options would be great. People do tend to rush to the orgy room around 1pm. Even just from a practical angle, dressing down before entering the play rooms would save you from having to sort through the mess of clothes and shoes that end up tanged on that tiny bit of floor space near the door once you are ready to leave | |||
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"Have been to Xtasia twice now and both times we hate to say w e failed to have a good night. We tried to talk to people , make connection but nothing. Sadly it did seem very clicky Even as the night progressed we saw little playing. Only room that was busy seemed to be the smoking shelter. " Go to Liberty Elite 1st Wednesday of every month fun at forties night x | |||
"Sitting back and taking in the comments! Will consider a few changes to see how they work, but often we find one change might make a forum poster happy, and 20 club regulars unhappy! No longer doing flirts part of venues as couples only Friday night and singles welcome sat night. We tried this for 6 months, and it died a death! Most singles couldn’t get out on Saturday night, and most couples preferred to be where the fun was in main club rather than in flirts! We did try for you all but it fell flat. Only other bit at mo is music levels. Too quiet, no one will dance. And dance often gets folks involved, especially as the ladies dress down, but guys in boxers on dance floor tends to be a turn off! Too loud and we get the complaints about not being able to chat, but we have the chill lounge for in-depth natter! Anyway, listening in! "And one thing that we love about Xtasia is that it’s an agile dynamic club that isn’t afraid to try different things. Great to get feedback on the subject.  | |||
"Have been to Xtasia twice now and both times we hate to say w e failed to have a good night. We tried to talk to people , make connection but nothing. Sadly it did seem very clicky Even as the night progressed we saw little playing. Only room that was busy seemed to be the smoking shelter. Go to Liberty Elite 1st Wednesday of every month fun at forties night x" ...and we don't cross post, lol | |||
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" That is an excellent idea! It's crazy that 2 clubs within 15 minutes of each other exclude single guys on the same night. Hopefully my answer above gives you a thumbs up. The main challenge is that they are separate businesses so will cater to a need and if they believe the market on a Saturday is for couples, that’s what they’ll aim for. Of course, there’s a considerable chunk of revenue to be taken from single males, but a lot of couples are looking for couples/females and dynamics/atmosphere would change thus putting couples off from attending. I guess with places like the Private Club within proximity, where a few couples attend, then there is something for single males. I suppose with Chams and Xtasia being couples/females only on Saturdays (though males can go to Flirts), they do have unique offerings that separate them from each other. On a personal level, we really enjoy both of the venues and like that Xtasia offers a high street nightclub experience where we order drinks at a bar, have a large dance floor to enjoy, dress up and surround ourselves with sexy people in their outfits wondering what’s on underneath versus bring your own alcohol, strip down and socialise. Granted being dressed down does seem (to us) that we end up playing a lot quicker. But we also play quite a bit in Xtasia, though getting lost in the music is as much to blame as being fully dressed to start. In our experience, I think it’s a given that when people make an effort, get dressed to the nines, and head to Xtasia, knowing it’s that nightclub vibe, the mentality seems to shift to a slower start from a playing point of view. They want to enjoy the night, vibe, flirt and then go into play, albeit a bit late. Where Chams can be more of socialise, play, socialise, then play again and occasionally party at the end of the night. Again maybe it’s the mentality thing. Just a question, as we’ve seen clubs have a variant of this. Do you think it might be a good idea to (even if it’s a once a month): 1) have a night where come 10pm you dress down (though the chill out room may offer a place if you don’t want). 2) to enter the main play area, you’re required to dress down. Maybe something like this may encourage people to play a bit more, as that’s the main difference I see between the two in terms of playing earlier in the night. I know that used to be how they did it, but every time we have been to Xtasia recently Flirts shuts as soon as the main club opens. Either of those options would be great. People do tend to rush to the orgy room around 1pm. Even just from a practical angle, dressing down before entering the play rooms would save you from having to sort through the mess of clothes and shoes that end up tanged on that tiny bit of floor space near the door once you are ready to leave "You know they have lockers? Many people will dress down when they feel like it, put clothes in lockers and then get dressed at the end of the night. It gives people choices, rather than forcing them to strip on arrival which can be a daunting prospect for many and put them off the idea of a club. A | |||
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"Sitting back and taking in the comments! Will consider a few changes to see how they work, but often we find one change might make a forum poster happy, and 20 club regulars unhappy! No longer doing flirts part of venues as couples only Friday night and singles welcome sat night. We tried this for 6 months, and it died a death! Most singles couldn’t get out on Saturday night, and most couples preferred to be where the fun was in main club rather than in flirts! We did try for you all but it fell flat. Only other bit at mo is music levels. Too quiet, no one will dance. And dance often gets folks involved, especially as the ladies dress down, but guys in boxers on dance floor tends to be a turn off! Too loud and we get the complaints about not being able to chat, but we have the chill lounge for in-depth natter! Anyway, listening in! "Don't know how I skipped this but it's great to see feedback being taken on board and clubs getting involved on the forums too! | |||
One comment I would say around noise levels, which I totally get the for and against arguments is when I was a DJ, I would purposely walk around various parts of the floor plan during the course of the night and higher/lower the sound levels according to the numbers.
When the floor was empty or less people then I would take the level down a touch but enough to entice people to the floor, and when it filled up pop it back up. I’m not a sound engineer but the presence of people I believe affect reverberant sound. | |||
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"I think they should mix the nights up - swap Friday to couples & females & Saturdays to allow single men. That way they would fill a gap in the market as single men have nowhere to go after 7/8pm on a Saturday in the midlands. I find the music is too loud for chatting & making those important connections around the bar area (but I find this at most clubs)" 100% agree with this. We've been a few times to Xtasia and although we've enjoyed it, it was slim pickings on the Saturdays as there seemed to be a lot of couples looking for single guys just like us. | |||
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. I will be honest, I'm really jealous I cant go to the foam party !! All in all Xtasia is a great place to do what you want, no pressure and no expectations. Cant thank Paul and all the staff enough for creating a really nice place to go and forget the world for a few hours. | |||
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"I think they should mix the nights up - swap Friday to couples & females & Saturdays to allow single men. That way they would fill a gap in the market as single men have nowhere to go after 7/8pm on a Saturday in the midlands. I find the music is too loud for chatting & making those important connections around the bar area (but I find this at most clubs)" So true great idea | |||
"The fact that dress down isn’t compulsory is one of the main reasons we like Xtasia. Mr doesn’t play he gets his enjoyment from watching me have fun so he would not be comfortable or want to strip off on entry " Snap same with us | |||
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"Have been to Xtasia twice now and both times we hate to say w e failed to have a good night. We tried to talk to people , make connection but nothing. Sadly it did seem very clicky Even as the night progressed we saw little playing. Only room that was busy seemed to be the smoking shelter. " Not alone tbh. Been there twice. The first time was ok but play was limited and the place is very cliquey. Second time I took some mates but couldn't get in myself bc apparently you need to register for every event so what happened was my friends left early to come join me at another party. 200 mile trek and money wasted so don't think I will bother again tbh. | |||
"Have been to Xtasia twice now and both times we hate to say w e failed to have a good night. We tried to talk to people , make connection but nothing. Sadly it did seem very clicky Even as the night progressed we saw little playing. Only room that was busy seemed to be the smoking shelter. You are not alone
We just can't seem to make it work at Xtasia, the only time we have ever played with anyone else there is when we went with friends and shared the big hotel room.
After an hour or two we always give up and go to make the most of the orgy room, which we have all to ourselves
Have you tried Chameleons?
We find it much easier to chat to people there, and there is always something going on in the public play rooms
We do find Fridays easier going than Saturdays though.
K x"I will check this Chameleons place out in a few weeks. Only heard about this place late Friday night. Just need find the time and plan this out. | |||
"Have been to Xtasia twice now and both times we hate to say w e failed to have a good night. We tried to talk to people , make connection but nothing. Sadly it did seem very clicky Even as the night progressed we saw little playing. Only room that was busy seemed to be the smoking shelter. You are not alone
We just can't seem to make it work at Xtasia, the only time we have ever played with anyone else there is when we went with friends and shared the big hotel room.
After an hour or two we always give up and go to make the most of the orgy room, which we have all to ourselves
Have you tried Chameleons?
We find it much easier to chat to people there, and there is always something going on in the public play rooms
We do find Fridays easier going than Saturdays though.
K x
I will check this Chameleons place out in a few weeks. Only heard about this place late Friday night. Just need find the time and plan this out. "Both clubs require membership, you cannot turn up on the door. Some events you can join by registering on a guest list but you always need to check this first. Not sure what you are used to but it is always wise to check the club rules before wasting time and money. | |||
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"Can't speak about _tasia because we've never been and after messaging the club to enquire about an event and receiving a curt reply we never will... However, we find clubs can be cliquey at times especially event nights. You usually get a lot of couples who all know each other attending the same events so they stick together. Also couple only nights seem to suffer from the same problem. We find the best club nights are usually the mixed nights with single guys. The couples there are much more likely to be looking to play rather than unicorn hunting. " Hi, sorry you feel this way about the club. If you have any questions feel free to message me directly as due to this being a single female profile, I can't message you :p | |||
But while the suggestions above would suit us, they might not suit everyone. And it's not just about us, you or anyone else. Clubs have to do their best to appeal to as many as they can to survive. We all have our wish lists. We all have our personal preferences. The odds on any club offering someone their perfect, dream environment 365 days a year are slim.
Clubs are what you make of them as much as the bricks and mortar, events, staff and facilities they consist of.
And of course if you find you don't enjoy one then it's simple. Find one that you do.
A | |||
"Any club visit is what you make of it. As with life on Fab, effort put in results in a better chance of success. Just going to a club means nothing, particularly as a single guy. Its no different to setting up a profile on here with a couple of non descript photos, a cock pic or two, a profile bio that says nothing about you except you're looking to meet people for sex - and then you sit back wondering why the offers aren't flooding in. It's all about engagement, whether you're a single guy or a couple. Yes, approaching strangers in person is hard, especially somewhere new. But having first visited the club a decade ago and seen many changes since then, the hosts of any night have always bust a gut (as have the staff) to make people welcome when visiting. Themed nights will never be for everyone as we all have our preferences. They're useful to many though as it can help if you have a specific dynamic that floats your boat, whether hot wives, greedy girls, BMFC or one of the rave nights or foam parties. Clubs can't please everyone all the time no matter how they try. Without a theme nights just become 'samey' and people proactively start looking elsewhere for specific events. But even on a themed night it's perfectly possible to attend and have a good time. We popped in for a flying visit as we were in the area, just for a planned quick drink and catch up with staff, after attending a big organised social in the centre of Brum on Friday when Xtasia was hosting a BMFC night which we'd normally never attend as its not one of our interests. Found some company that caught Fox's attention and now have another great single guy in our contacts who we'd gladly meet again. Like everyone there are things we'd love to happen that would make our swinging lives easier. Single guy nights on the occasional Saturday as many can't do Fridays. The option to 'bring a friend' on a guest pass because from a purely practical point of view they'd never want to sign up for membership as they wouldn't be attending enough to warrant it. A ban on people talking about the weather outside playrooms downstairs as its distracting when you're getting naked with others. We also liked the upstairs area of old, where couples could take single guys in but single guys couldn't enter alone, as it reduced the crowd of onlookers just following those actually playing around. Hell - moving the club 100 miles down the M5 would also be great cone to think of it....
But while the suggestions above would suit us, they might not suit everyone. And it's not just about us, you or anyone else. Clubs have to do their best to appeal to as many as they can to survive. We all have our wish lists. We all have our personal preferences. The odds on any club offering someone their perfect, dream environment 365 days a year are slim.
Clubs are what you make of them as much as the bricks and mortar, events, staff and facilities they consist of.
And of course if you find you don't enjoy one then it's simple. Find one that you do.
A" | |||
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"We've been regulars at Xtasia for a few years now. We've really enjoyed Xtasia but lately it's become too much of a nightclub and less of an adult club. Music is now way too loud to hold a conversation in the main room. We usually spend time in the Chill Room when the music gets too loud. That hasn't been the case lately as someone had the idea that an adult club doesn't need a chill room but instead needs Karaoke! Last visit, a load of us ended up in the bottom of the dungeon as it was the only place we could have a conversation. We don't smoke so we don't use the smoking area. The last few times we've been it just seems way too much like a nightclub. We just didn't feel in the mood due to this. Karaoke in an adult club completely killed it for us. - Matt" Haha what even had the kareoke? That's so cringe | |||
"We've been regulars at Xtasia for a few years now. We've really enjoyed Xtasia but lately it's become too much of a nightclub and less of an adult club. Music is now way too loud to hold a conversation in the main room. We usually spend time in the Chill Room when the music gets too loud. That hasn't been the case lately as someone had the idea that an adult club doesn't need a chill room but instead needs Karaoke! Last visit, a load of us ended up in the bottom of the dungeon as it was the only place we could have a conversation. We don't smoke so we don't use the smoking area. The last few times we've been it just seems way too much like a nightclub. We just didn't feel in the mood due to this. Karaoke in an adult club completely killed it for us. - Matt Haha what even had the kareoke? That's so cringe" The karaoke was for an event I believe and isn't always there | |||
"Any club visit is what you make of it. As with life on Fab, effort put in results in a better chance of success. Just going to a club means nothing, particularly as a single guy. Its no different to setting up a profile on here with a couple of non descript photos, a cock pic or two, a profile bio that says nothing about you except you're looking to meet people for sex - and then you sit back wondering why the offers aren't flooding in. It's all about engagement, whether you're a single guy or a couple. Yes, approaching strangers in person is hard, especially somewhere new. But having first visited the club a decade ago and seen many changes since then, the hosts of any night have always bust a gut (as have the staff) to make people welcome when visiting. Themed nights will never be for everyone as we all have our preferences. They're useful to many though as it can help if you have a specific dynamic that floats your boat, whether hot wives, greedy girls, BMFC or one of the rave nights or foam parties. Clubs can't please everyone all the time no matter how they try. Without a theme nights just become 'samey' and people proactively start looking elsewhere for specific events. But even on a themed night it's perfectly possible to attend and have a good time. We popped in for a flying visit as we were in the area, just for a planned quick drink and catch up with staff, after attending a big organised social in the centre of Brum on Friday when Xtasia was hosting a BMFC night which we'd normally never attend as its not one of our interests. Found some company that caught Fox's attention and now have another great single guy in our contacts who we'd gladly meet again. Like everyone there are things we'd love to happen that would make our swinging lives easier. Single guy nights on the occasional Saturday as many can't do Fridays. The option to 'bring a friend' on a guest pass because from a purely practical point of view they'd never want to sign up for membership as they wouldn't be attending enough to warrant it. A ban on people talking about the weather outside playrooms downstairs as its distracting when you're getting naked with others. We also liked the upstairs area of old, where couples could take single guys in but single guys couldn't enter alone, as it reduced the crowd of onlookers just following those actually playing around. Hell - moving the club 100 miles down the M5 would also be great cone to think of it....
But while the suggestions above would suit us, they might not suit everyone. And it's not just about us, you or anyone else. Clubs have to do their best to appeal to as many as they can to survive. We all have our wish lists. We all have our personal preferences. The odds on any club offering someone their perfect, dream environment 365 days a year are slim.
Clubs are what you make of them as much as the bricks and mortar, events, staff and facilities they consist of.
And of course if you find you don't enjoy one then it's simple. Find one that you do.
A" | |||
One thing I’ve seen in some clubs is a dedicated area/zone for new couples, who may be shy, or finding their feet in new surroundings.
Maybe Xtasia could implement this in an area in the chill out room to eliminate/reduce where the perception/or reality? of a clique is present to give new couples a head start? | |||
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