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Asking a couple if they want to play
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Generally in a club with couples it's normally a case we get chatting to them, a bit of flirting, possibly a little kissing and/or heavy petting. Get to the point where it looks like things are on. Sometimes you have to read couples well because some can be very shy and reserved at the same time (even though underneath they're very keen). So also why it's good just to take the lead and don't rely on the other couple to make things happen. We would normal go with either:
Would you like to come take a walk round with us and let's see what's going on? In which case we all go for a little look round and normally end up falling into a room/space that suits us all (possibly with the activities of others in the club being a catalyst). This approach seems to work well with shy/new couples.
Or as others have said we (or they) just simply say would you like to take this to a room. It's a easy as that really (apart from all the butterfly's in your stomach on the way to the room).
However not always like that. Sometimes its it's no verbal and just a mater of eye contact and body language. Sometimes its just spontaneous then and there. Thus leading to a room/space without anyone asking because by this point everyone is already of one mind of where this is going.
The main thing we say if your intrested and you think it's fairly mutual just act on it and make some sort of a move or invite. Never rely on others to make the move for you. I think every night in clubs there are a few missed opportunities because both couples just lack the confidence to make a move. |
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Usually when we go to club we sit for a while and Helen lets me know which guys are a yes and which are no. After a while she heads up to the play rooms and gets things started while I wait downstairs for 10 minutes or so. Saves the awkwardness of somebody having to approach a couple. Usually by the time I head up she’s got chatting to someone or is already started playing. For us just seems an easier way to get started as it seems a lot of guys get put off approaching a couple |
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Definitely prefer the direct approach if there has been some glances each way before hand of “off to find a room, come along if you want”. There has been too many times chatting away where no one says that and it ends up happening but just all a little too late in the night.
Sometimes outlining there is no pressure on swapping etc think occasionally helps |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
There has to be engagement first. A bit of idle chat, a discussion on what they look for and enjoy and any boundaries they have. If all seems compatible and there's been some good conversation, humour and you're on the same wavelength - then a simple 'would you like to go and find a room with us?' works fine. It's usually quite obvious by how any chat goes if there's attraction and interest. If not then we'd have ended the conversation politely with a 'maybe see you later, have fun' or 'we're off to the bar' long before any discussion of play commenced.
And that works for both couples and singles.
A |
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Great advice on here! We have been guilty of not approaching people we fancy (especially early on), but try to both be on the same wavelength about who we fancy. Interestingly, in Clubs it is more about confidence exuding from the singles and couples that interests us (not arrogance!!) We still need to be more direct, but we are always flattered when someone wants to chat. In our experience though, go for limited chat to avoid moving into the friend zone!!  |
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"Generally in a club with couples it's normally a case we get chatting to them, a bit of flirting, possibly a little kissing and/or heavy petting. Get to the point where it looks like things are on. Sometimes you have to read couples well because some can be very shy and reserved at the same time (even though underneath they're very keen). So also why it's good just to take the lead and don't rely on the other couple to make things happen. We would normal go with either:
Would you like to come take a walk round with us and let's see what's going on? In which case we all go for a little look round and normally end up falling into a room/space that suits us all (possibly with the activities of others in the club being a catalyst). This approach seems to work well with shy/new couples.
Or as others have said we (or they) just simply say would you like to take this to a room. It's a easy as that really (apart from all the butterfly's in your stomach on the way to the room).
However not always like that. Sometimes its it's no verbal and just a mater of eye contact and body language. Sometimes its just spontaneous then and there. Thus leading to a room/space without anyone asking because by this point everyone is already of one mind of where this is going.
The main thing we say if your intrested and you think it's fairly mutual just act on it and make some sort of a move or invite. Never rely on others to make the move for you. I think every night in clubs there are a few missed opportunities because both couples just lack the confidence to make a move."
Good advice. We can be to reserved and missed a few plays in clubs due to this. Cpls asking us helped motivate us to take up their offer. We often start in the jacuzzi as its a more child start to playing with each other before going off to a room together with another cpl. |
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