FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Pet peeves!
Pet peeves!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Males that follow females. / couples around.
Stand in positions all the time, so that they can intercept females / couples
Guys that will enter a pool / hot tub…even if it’s packed! As they think females / couples are waiting especially for them!
If a couple are playing, males that sneak up and try to join in….. with no invitation!
The wanking dead towel zombies!
Guys, females, couples that make no effort at all to chat
Oh and bad hygiene! Like take a shower - you stink!
Last one… guys that use shite chat, and muscle in on couples or line females who are obviously not interested!
Apart from that…all good 
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I think touching is a massive one. Always gotta have consent.
And the single men who try get themselves into a position where they think someone wants to pull them into the action
Another one for me. When you are with your partner/person you’ve gone with and the male gets up to go get a drink and the single men think it’s acceptable to try it on with the other half even though they’ve seen you together all night and waited for the opportunity to try move it. I once laughed at someone for doing this hahaha |
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"Non consensual touching, both from men and women."
This is a massive one. Just because my boobs are out doesn't mean you don't ask to touch them.
And when people get in positions where you have to brush past them or get really close to get past them when there was plenty of room beforehand. |
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Knocking continuously on a private playroom door!
When u invite one guy to join u whilst playing in the club cinema and every guy around them rushes forward so quick pushing and shoving eachother out the way like u have just put out the reduced items in Tesco!!
I’m all for consent obvs but one of my pet peeves is when playing in an open space is the men constantly touching me to ask if they can join in! It interrupts play and if I want you to join I will ask! Some have even tapped my husband on the shoulder whilst he’s down on me to ask to join 
Oh and last but not least stroking my foot when I’m being licked out as hubby can’t see them touching so I’m waving my foot around trying to kick them off plus who can actually cum when having their foot stroked by someone they can’t even see!
I’m sure I could think of more but il leave it there for now
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"Knocking continuously on a private playroom door!
When u invite one guy to join u whilst playing in the club cinema and every guy around them rushes forward so quick pushing and shoving eachother out the way like u have just put out the reduced items in Tesco!!
I’m all for consent obvs but one of my pet peeves is when playing in an open space is the men constantly touching me to ask if they can join in! It interrupts play and if I want you to join I will ask! Some have even tapped my husband on the shoulder whilst he’s down on me to ask to join
Oh and last but not least stroking my foot when I’m being licked out as hubby can’t see them touching so I’m waving my foot around trying to kick them off plus who can actually cum when having their foot stroked by someone they can’t even see!
I’m sure I could think of more but il leave it there for now
"
That last one killed me haha |
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"I think touching is a massive one. Always gotta have consent.
And the single men who try get themselves into a position where they think someone wants to pull them into the action
Another one for me. When you are with your partner/person you’ve gone with and the male gets up to go get a drink and the single men think it’s acceptable to try it on with the other half even though they’ve seen you together all night and waited for the opportunity to try move it. I once laughed at someone for doing this hahaha"
This last one happens so often...or when she decides to go to the bathroom and is stopped by so many men on the way |
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"I think touching is a massive one. Always gotta have consent.
And the single men who try get themselves into a position where they think someone wants to pull them into the action
Another one for me. When you are with your partner/person you’ve gone with and the male gets up to go get a drink and the single men think it’s acceptable to try it on with the other half even though they’ve seen you together all night and waited for the opportunity to try move it. I once laughed at someone for doing this hahaha
This last one happens so often...or when she decides to go to the bathroom and is stopped by so many men on the way "
I’ve had this one before |
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This thread should be mandatory reading for all who attend clubs - especially guys!
If you’ve ever wondered why some people are more successful than you when at a club, it might be because you’re doing some/all of the things above.
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By *ebwizMan
over a year ago
Clevedon |
Guy's that are in no way attractive that creep up to my mrs in a hot tub then proceed to stroke a boob or thigh or shoulder and just smile, thinking this will work. In the end she had such a low opinion of them all, we stopped going and she quit the scene completely, put her right off blokes aside from me, her take on it was they just treat you as a piece of meat to fuck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All the above are the specific reasons we avoid single guy nights at clubs :/
Only takes one idiot to ruin a night. Yes I know it also happens on couples nights but it’s much less.
One to add to the list: Having to do your toilet trips at the same time so N doesn’t get swamped. People get a bit predatory when they see a girl on her own!
Just to reiterate, we love clubs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everything in this thread sadly.
We also love clubs but as the male of the couple part of your role is to keep your wife safe from predatory men with zero social skills, server entitlement and are the types who you know have absolutely no hope of meeting women and having sex in the real world.
Picking out the genuine, respectful guys who are genuine swingers and treat both of you with common decency and respect does come with experience.
It's that experience that enables you to take no shit from the chancers and wanking dead.
It's sad really because we see them out off so many couples who have decided to give the scene a try and due to the bad experience they caused never return.
A good club is where the owners work hard not to allow these types membership and in and when some slip through the next the genuine single male swingers ensure they get marching orders quickly as they really do spoil things for everyone including the club owners.
KJ |
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It has kind of been mentioned before, but my biggest peeve in the club are the mutes. People who would not even say "hi" but follow you everywhere and try any opportunity to touch you. It makes you feel like a sex object, like you're not worth a basic human contact in the form of a brief conversation but you're only there to be used for sex. |
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And don't even start me on playing footsie in a hot tub! I like to stretch my legs when in there and do some leg exercise in the water, but most of the time (only in some clubs), I have to sit with my knees bent and as close to my body as possible.
Just remembered one more pet peeve- people (men mostly) whose idea of personal space is millimeters and who have to touch people when they talk. |
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By *lueFireCouple
over a year ago
just somewhere around here |
Single guys that predate on females and follow couples everywhere! Even when you tell them to f off they still think they have the right to predate on you!!
Why do these men assume that every female wants them!? Or that they have the gid given right to treat women like a sex object! Just because we are in a sex club does not mean that all consent goes out the window and that they can harrass you. I have had occasions where i have had to have security remove such men due to their behaviour. |
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Men touching me in the hot tub. Think because I can’t see their hands underwater that it’s ok.
Er no.
Other than that the most trouble I’ve had is with guys from couples. I’ve found most single guys to be respectful and lovely. |
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By *llaandGCouple
over a year ago
London |
"It has kind of been mentioned before, but my biggest peeve in the club are the mutes. People who would not even say "hi" but follow you everywhere and try any opportunity to touch you. It makes you feel like a sex object, like you're not worth a basic human contact in the form of a brief conversation but you're only there to be used for sex. "
Absolutely true. Ella and I are really sociable and we would far rather someone came and spoke to us. If you don't speak to us as people and as a couple we have zero interest. That simple.
G |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't do clubs really but the very few times we did we had nearly all of these things and we're probably too naive and fresh to know how to deal with it properly
Find it pretty unnerving to be like a target as soon as I or hubby disappeared to the toilet.
And yes the hot tub touching was relentless |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Another one for me. When you are with your partner/person you’ve gone with and the male gets up to go get a drink and the single men think it’s acceptable to try it on with the other half even though they’ve seen you together all night and waited for the opportunity to try move it. I once laughed at someone for doing this hahaha"
This. It’s happened so many times. The worst ones don’t even move when your partner returns.
Also as someone else mentioned, going to the loo and getting hit on. I once had a guy waiting for me to come back out.
These days I have no hesitation in telling them I’m not interested but I could see why it would be overwhelming for some. |
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We absolutely love going to our local club and always go on nights when single males are allowed in. We have had some fantastic nights there and met some great people, males, females and couples. Generally we have no issues.
However, minor annoyances include
Banging on the door which is clearly shut and locked for a reason,
guys expecting to join in having not even said a word to us throughout the evening,
guys chatting and therefore being invited but then getting dressed and leaving the room as soon as their deed is done, not to speak to us again all evening
And people who are watching being too loud.
The guys following Mrs does not bother us, nor does them chatting and flirting with her when she is on her own, in fact this always gives us a bit of a giggle the next day.
And only once has a guy tried to touch her uninvited. Every other time they have always politely asked.
We just assumed this was all part and parcel of the club scene.
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By *togMan
over a year ago
Blackpool |
Clubs that over sell places massively to single guys and making them think they will get something by attending.
The hordes of the wanking dead that are then created by too many single men.
Guys that can see someone is with you and then proceed to ask the girl to meet and date outside the club (it's not tinder)
Guys that say they are doms when blatantly they have no clue other than a bit if choking and nipple twisting.
Guys that get a no and then pester the girl all night trying to talk them in to it, asking why etc.
Guys that say, I saw your account on Fab and I messaged you thinking that she will automatically play because of a message.
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"Clubs that over sell places massively to single guys and making them think they will get something by attending.
"
What do you mean by "clubs that over sell places for single guys"? First of all, unless it's a specific, ticketed event (and even then things happen), clubs are unable to tell how many women and couples are going to turn up. For the simple reason that women and couples don't have to book, they can just turn up. And people (men in particular) should never go to a club with expectations of anything more than an evening out at the club. |
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"Clubs that over sell places massively to single guys and making them think they will get something by attending."
Some clubs fabricate their guest lists. As an example they'll put their barmaids on the guest list to entice Men, when actually they're working behind the bar all night. Ourselves, we've seen our name on a guest list we didn't ask to go on. They're businesses and want the till ringing, they definitely fabricate guest lists though. Men shouldn't go with the expectation of playing, but many go home disappointed. |
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Banging on the door is an annoying one. We had a woman in quest in Leeds who was doing it. But she also basically sat on our lap when we was playing in the open cinema room, constantly in our ear having a conversation. ‘Don’t mind me watching’ no we don’t mind but there is a difference between watching and being annoying! |
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By *onicZMan
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
"We were trying to pluck up the courage to go to a club, however after reading this post I’m feeling quite apprehensive about actually going. "
I wouldn't worry too much, check the club reviews page on here and pick your club wisely and you'll be absolutely fine.
It's rare these scenarios crop up and they're described here in ways that make them look worse than they actually are. For example, I've put about smelly people but only ever experienced that once or twice when said club has been quiet anyway so they were easy to avoid.
If anyone's bothering you, you can tell them to do one politely or complain to staff and they'll be dealt with swiftly. |
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People who don’t clean up afterwards and leave the rooms in a right state..
People who are paralytic d*unk and clearly on drugs..
Groups of men following couples around like they have won the lottery..
Bad hygiene is the worst..
People who touch without any consent..
Single men walking into couples only rooms even though they know they aren’t allowed.. |
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"We were trying to pluck up the courage to go to a club, however after reading this post I’m feeling quite apprehensive about actually going. "
Please don’t let it put you off clubs are a great way to find your feet, we love go to couples only nights and private Events where there is only limited single males allowed |
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"We were trying to pluck up the courage to go to a club, however after reading this post I’m feeling quite apprehensive about actually going. "
Don’t let it put you off you might have the experience of a life time |
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"People who don’t clean up afterwards and leave the rooms in a right state..
People who are paralytic d*unk and clearly on drugs..
Groups of men following couples around like they have won the lottery..
Bad hygiene is the worst..
People who touch without any consent..
Single men walking into couples only rooms even though they know they aren’t allowed.. "
All these are true… the touching without consent is a big one… especially when they say ‘do you mind if I watch’ then next thing you know hand starts wondering
Sloppy d*unks are off putting especially when the person who’s d*unk spoke to you at start of the night then next time you see them they are stumbling all over the place |
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People who behave as if ignorant of what others need, in order to have a sexually fulfilling time -
Invasion of space/noisy in the wrong ways, leaving dirt and mess.
Some are just aggressive predators too and push as if welcomed. Sickening. I love confident people but these are just aggressive predators who would be shunned in the wider world. |
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"When the guys change out their clothes into towels and sit about in towels chatting to people. Keep your clothes on until you know if you are going to be lucky to play. "
Aw. Come on! Are you serious? |
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"When the guys change out their clothes into towels and sit about in towels chatting to people. Keep your clothes on until you know if you are going to be lucky to play. "
I can see where you are coming from in a sense but it’s basically saying a man can’t dress down until he knows he’s playing with someone but does that mean a woman can’t walk around naked/in their lingerie either then? |
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"We were trying to pluck up the courage to go to a club, however after reading this post I’m feeling quite apprehensive about actually going. "
I’ve never been to a club yet either and there is a lot here that could put me off. I’ve started a separate thread for people to share the ‘best bits’ … hopefully that will give some reassurance |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When the guys change out their clothes into towels and sit about in towels chatting to people. Keep your clothes on until you know if you are going to be lucky to play. "
Some of these clubs away from home come across as pubs. I’m a shorts and sandals guys but this made me laugh |
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"Very. I’m not wanting to see folks saggy balls hanging out when having a chat if I’m not going to play with them. Each to own but it’s a no from me. "
Each to their own, but appreciating the naked human form either female or male is part of the appeal of the whole swinging scene. |
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All of the above happen, but so does an awful lot of great stuff. Our main pet peeve (& we are as guilty!) is seeing someone you are interested in and not actually talking to them Several times people have messaged us after being in a Club (Club veri) and said they had wanted to say hi but didn’t & some of them were really hit - missed opportunities  |
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"All of the above happen, but so does an awful lot of great stuff. Our main pet peeve (& we are as guilty!) is seeing someone you are interested in and not actually talking to them Several times people have messaged us after being in a Club (Club veri) and said they had wanted to say hi but didn’t & some of them were really hot! - missed opportunities "
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"All of the above happen, but so does an awful lot of great stuff. Our main pet peeve (& we are as guilty!) is seeing someone you are interested in and not actually talking to them Several times people have messaged us after being in a Club (Club veri) and said they had wanted to say hi but didn’t & some of them were really hit - missed opportunities "
OMG yes that’s a pet peeve lol, we’ve smiled at couples and both parties have said we wish we had of said something but was too shy |
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My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you. |
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you. "
They might not come from the same home, or be able to entertain at the other one's home!
Clubs could work out cheaper than a hotel room and also the atmosphere could do some of the warm up work. |
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you. "
That’s a mixed one with us, we definitely get where you are coming from but from a couples perspective we like to start off on our own and start off right then tend to drift off into open rooms, although it doesn’t help when you are getting down and dirty and you hear people’s locker keys jingling away cause they are watching and wanking. Can be a bit off putting. I personally couldn’t do what most single men do. But I always do say fair play to the single men that go on their own |
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you. "
This is a pretty horrible take...
People go to clubs for a number of reasons, only one of those is to exhibit to others. Sometimes people go for the vibe or for the social side of things. People shouldn't be excluded from the club scene because they have exercised some agency around their own sexual activity.
I think you might want to give some consideration to the respect you give others and their choices and boundaries... |
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you. "
I disagree with this. Some couples may want to go to a club just to soak up the atmosphere or socialise and then enjoy some time alone together, which is why there’s the option of private rooms. |
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By *obis6ft5Man
over a year ago
Manchester/London/Leeds |
"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you.
100% agree
I disagree with this. Some couples may want to go to a club just to soak up the atmosphere or socialise and then enjoy some time alone together, which is why there’s the option of private rooms."
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you.
I disagree with this. Some couples may want to go to a club just to soak up the atmosphere or socialise and then enjoy some time alone together, which is why there’s the option of private rooms."
Yep.
We do this.
Add in the fact that we may go to a club and find there's nobody that takes our fancy. So what are we expected to do? Just not have sex with eachother and wait til we get home at 5am (it's 2 hours each way to the club) ? That's not going to happen. 
Two things that frustrate us are these.
Guys who see us entering a room with a guy, who then see us leaving later who ask when it's their turn (just before never and shortly after hell freezes over), and groups of guys or other couples who stand outside locked rooms talking about today's football, last nights episode of Towie or having conversations about their hairdressers. Keep that shit for the bar/smoking area.
A |
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"We were trying to pluck up the courage to go to a club, however after reading this post I’m feeling quite apprehensive about actually going. "
If it helps… i only play with single men, only go to single male nights and never had any issues at all and I’ve been doing it over 8 years!
Couples caused most the problems for me lol xx |
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My main pet peeves are people who presume it's ok to touch without asking, just because you are in a swingers club and might be in the middle of playing. Some stand or sit close "just to watch", until, all of a sudden, you feel a cock shoved in your face (or other areas) or a hand touching you. Thank you, if I wanted to play with you, I would have invited you!
Another one- playing "footsie" in the hot tub. All those without even acknowledging you as a person, without saying even a simple "hello".
Last but not least is people who can't take "no" for an answer and keep following you, in the slim chance you might change your mind.
Sadly, by "people", I do mean "men". However, there are loads of great single guys who know what swinging is about, are respectful of boundaries, great to chat with and play with. Hopefully the "bad apples" would either get educated on how to be successful in a swingers clubs or just decide those are too much like hard work. |
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By *CSmoothMan
over a year ago
Northampton |
Rude and obnoxious people, women & couples. I get that every husband thinks his wife is gods gift and every woman think they’re hot, but because I’m in the club as a single guy, I’m certainly not desperate or predatory. Generally I have a great time in clubs and well aware I’m not everybody’s cup of tea. A simple no thank you, we are not interested is fine. Generally conversation remains generally and we move on, but some couples view single guys with such disdain. Some times we want to tell you to get over yourself… but we know it won’t end well. It will always be the single guy at fault…. 99% of the time the club is a great place and most people are just nice people out for a good time. Some have a shyness, some a little bolder and cost nothing to be polite, even when you may not be interested. |
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"- people locking private rooms for ages
- couples presuming you want them/ they can join in
- people being rude to men watching when playing in openly public areas (not in a couples only room)
"
This is first time I’ve seen a single person go in on couples especially a single female |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"- people locking private rooms for ages
- couples presuming you want them/ they can join in
- people being rude to men watching when playing in openly public areas (not in a couples only room)
"
The clubs we have been into have a time limit if it’s a busy night. We take full advantage of that time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"-
The clubs we have been into have a time limit if it’s a busy night. We take full advantage of that time "
What if a F joins a MF for FFM? Hope it’s at least a extra 30mins |
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"- people locking private rooms for ages
- couples presuming you want them/ they can join in
- people being rude to men watching when playing in openly public areas (not in a couples only room)
The clubs we have been into have a time limit if it’s a busy night. We take full advantage of that time "
Yeah most I’ve been to do too!
Very easy to get carried away i get it, we’ve all been there
Gotta give everyone a turn  haha x |
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"- people locking private rooms for ages
- couples presuming you want them/ they can join in
- people being rude to men watching when playing in openly public areas (not in a couples only room)
This is first time I’ve seen a single person go in on couples especially a single female "
Not “gone in” on anyone.
From my 8 years club experience as a single female, that’s where I’ve been made to feel most uncomfortable
(All clubs always sorted not a dig at anyone/place!) |
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"My main pet peeves are people who presume it's ok to touch without asking, just because you are in a swingers club and might be in the middle of playing. Some stand or sit close "just to watch", until, all of a sudden, you feel a cock shoved in your face (or other areas) or a hand touching you. Thank you, if I wanted to play with you, I would have invited you! "
Honestly that fills me with dread… I think I would get so angry if someone tried to touch me without asking. Are people not briefed on rules like that when they join?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My main pet peeves are people who presume it's ok to touch without asking, just because you are in a swingers club and might be in the middle of playing. Some stand or sit close "just to watch", until, all of a sudden, you feel a cock shoved in your face (or other areas) or a hand touching you. Thank you, if I wanted to play with you, I would have invited you!
Honestly that fills me with dread… I think I would get so angry if someone tried to touch me without asking. Are people not briefed on rules like that when they join? "
You could put signage everywhere but English might not their first language. If that’s the case they would learn to keep hands to themselves through physical touch |
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"My main pet peeves are people who presume it's ok to touch without asking, just because you are in a swingers club and might be in the middle of playing. Some stand or sit close "just to watch", until, all of a sudden, you feel a cock shoved in your face (or other areas) or a hand touching you. Thank you, if I wanted to play with you, I would have invited you!
Honestly that fills me with dread… I think I would get so angry if someone tried to touch me without asking. Are people not briefed on rules like that when they join? "
It doesn’t happen all the time you just might get one cheeky person who tries their luck… I honestly wouldn’t let it put you off |
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"My main pet peeves are people who presume it's ok to touch without asking, just because you are in a swingers club and might be in the middle of playing. Some stand or sit close "just to watch", until, all of a sudden, you feel a cock shoved in your face (or other areas) or a hand touching you. Thank you, if I wanted to play with you, I would have invited you!
Honestly that fills me with dread… I think I would get so angry if someone tried to touch me without asking. Are people not briefed on rules like that when they join? "
Every new person coming to the club I attend regularly is given a tour of the premises and explained the rules. However, some people choose to ignore them, others forget about them, particularly when some alcohol gets involved. But as others have said, this is a minority. |
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By *abonWoman
over a year ago
L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham |
When I’m in a club with my partner and people want to join in, it’s always just straight for the boobs or pussy. Where’s the sensual arm stroke, brushing my hair out of my eyes, a slow finger down my back or calf? Slow sensuality building up to something amazing. Giving consent isn’t just a yes or no…I want to agree to some initial touch and see how it goes. We find someone joining us changes the dynamic for the worse most of the time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh wow…. As a single female yet to go to my first club, this thread is doing nothing for my confidence levels  
C x"
Have a read of “Best Bits!” via the forum search and check out club reviews.
Homepage » Club Reviews » North West
|
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"Oh wow…. As a single female yet to go to my first club, this thread is doing nothing for my confidence levels
C x"
Honestly it's not as bad as it sounds, you just have to think this is a thread dedicated to people's annoyances at clubs so it's like a concentrated shit storm, on most visits there's very little issues so my advise is give it a go. |
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"For me one of my main pet peeves are the guys who squeeze past people in order to get in the front row, who then whip out their Wang hoping that they will get picked. "
Must indeed be galling if you didn't get there first! |
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"Oh wow…. As a single female yet to go to my first club, this thread is doing nothing for my confidence levels
C x
Have a read of “Best Bits!” via the forum search and check out club reviews.
Homepage » Club Reviews » North West
"
Thank you, will have a look - hopefully get me excited enough to just go for it |
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"Oh wow…. As a single female yet to go to my first club, this thread is doing nothing for my confidence levels
C x
Honestly it's not as bad as it sounds, you just have to think this is a thread dedicated to people's annoyances at clubs so it's like a concentrated shit storm, on most visits there's very little issues so my advise is give it a go. "
Very true! Will have a look at the thread suggested and then maybe less reading more movement lol |
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you. "
You “insert swear word here”
As a couple relatively new to the scene we enjoy clubs and playing with and around others/being watched but if there is no one there we like or have clicked with we will go and play on our own.
We don’t get many chances to go to clubs as so far away we still like to use the facilities and have a play, we’re not just there for everyone else’s enjoyment, typical single guy comment |
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you.
You “insert swear word here”
As a couple relatively new to the scene we enjoy clubs and playing with and around others/being watched but if there is no one there we like or have clicked with we will go and play on our own.
We don’t get many chances to go to clubs as so far away we still like to use the facilities and have a play, we’re not just there for everyone else’s enjoyment, typical single guy comment "
Need I remind you this is a forum dedicated to pet peeves. My comment is nothing more than an opinion and certainly not directed at anybody personally. |
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"We find it very of putting when there's a group watching whatever we are up to and start chatting loudly between themselves and laughing, sort of kills the moment !!!"
I absolutely hate this.
No sense of a time and a place |
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"For me one of my main pet peeves are the guys who squeeze past people in order to get in the front row, who then whip out their Wang hoping that they will get picked.
Must indeed be galling if you didn't get there first!"
It's not that, I will seldom try join in and will only ever look for a minute or two depending as I get a bit bored watching a couple plus a gaggle of single men. But it's when you standing there a bit and a guy pushes you out the way to get in front. |
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"For me one of my main pet peeves are the guys who squeeze past people in order to get in the front row, who then whip out their Wang hoping that they will get picked.
Must indeed be galling if you didn't get there first!
It's not that, I will seldom try join in and will only ever look for a minute or two depending as I get a bit bored watching a couple plus a gaggle of single men. But it's when you standing there a bit and a guy pushes you out the way to get in front. "
I was only joking. I got too used to being ushered to the front when I was younger! |
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"The group of single blokes following women and couples like sheep.. Does not annoy me but does make me laugh"
Just thinking about this one. If I hadn't followed couples I would have missed out on a hell of a lot of sex. Some couples like to be followed and may lock the door once 1 or 2 guys are with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We were trying to pluck up the courage to go to a club, however after reading this post I’m feeling quite apprehensive about actually going. "
Yes. It's all sounds rather tawdry |
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By *lueFireCouple
over a year ago
just somewhere around here |
"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you. "
And this is why single guys get such a reputation with attitudes like this...
We like to play openly AND privately, we have paid an entrance fee to use the club and its facilities....how we choose to use them is our business.
|
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you.
And this is why single guys get such a reputation with attitudes like this...
We like to play openly AND privately, we have paid an entrance fee to use the club and its facilities....how we choose to use them is our business.
"
Clearly the sentiment of my comment is misunderstood. If couples want play in a private room then go ahead. It's just a pet peeve, and opinion if you will. Nothing to do with conduct or attitude. |
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you.
And this is why single guys get such a reputation with attitudes like this...
We like to play openly AND privately, we have paid an entrance fee to use the club and its facilities....how we choose to use them is our business.
Clearly the sentiment of my comment is misunderstood. If couples want play in a private room then go ahead. It's just a pet peeve, and opinion if you will. Nothing to do with conduct or attitude. "
No excuse for stalking them in the first place though, is it? |
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you.
And this is why single guys get such a reputation with attitudes like this...
We like to play openly AND privately, we have paid an entrance fee to use the club and its facilities....how we choose to use them is our business.
"
|
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"The group of single blokes following women and couples like sheep.. Does not annoy me but does make me laugh
Just thinking about this one. If I hadn't followed couples I would have missed out on a hell of a lot of sex. Some couples like to be followed and may lock the door once 1 or 2 guys are with them. "
Yeah and some couples don’t like to be followed. I wonder how many you have annoyed in doing so? Why not just do your own thing and wait to be invited? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Men following women around all night.
We’ve had a few of them and when we first started going to clubs even when we were just sitting having a drink just the two of us we’d get guys following us to the bar the smoking area or even waiting outside the toilet.
Didn’t want to come across as being rude but now we find it’s best if we are not interested in someone is to say a polite but firm no thank not interested.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The group of single blokes following women and couples like sheep.. Does not annoy me but does make me laugh
Just thinking about this one. If I hadn't followed couples I would have missed out on a hell of a lot of sex. Some couples like to be followed and may lock the door once 1 or 2 guys are with them. "
Surely if the couple liked you then you wouldn’t need to follow them around? They would ask you to join them?
That’s what we do and the ones that have followed us come across as creepy and a big no for us.
But that’s just my opinion. |
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"We were trying to pluck up the courage to go to a club, however after reading this post I’m feeling quite apprehensive about actually going.
I’ve never been to a club yet either and there is a lot here that could put me off. I’ve started a separate thread for people to share the ‘best bits’ … hopefully that will give some reassurance "
There are lots of problems with clubs however there is one plus if you can ignor the bad point by choosing your club session (ie couples only night etc) that you can actually see people and howthey react with others. Some of the people you would think are ok actually have a side you would not like and others you actually grow to like. Its a little bit like the old days when you met people live and could see their reaction rather than on the internet when its just a publicity shot. |
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By *lueFireCouple
over a year ago
just somewhere around here |
"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you.
And this is why single guys get such a reputation with attitudes like this...
We like to play openly AND privately, we have paid an entrance fee to use the club and its facilities....how we choose to use them is our business.
Clearly the sentiment of my comment is misunderstood. If couples want play in a private room then go ahead. It's just a pet peeve, and opinion if you will. Nothing to do with conduct or attitude.
No excuse for stalking them in the first place though, is it?"
Yes this ....the sense of entitlement |
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you.
And this is why single guys get such a reputation with attitudes like this...
We like to play openly AND privately, we have paid an entrance fee to use the club and its facilities....how we choose to use them is our business.
Clearly the sentiment of my comment is misunderstood. If couples want play in a private room then go ahead. It's just a pet peeve, and opinion if you will. Nothing to do with conduct or attitude.
No excuse for stalking them in the first place though, is it?
Yes this ....the sense of entitlement "
|
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you.
And this is why single guys get such a reputation with attitudes like this...
We like to play openly AND privately, we have paid an entrance fee to use the club and its facilities....how we choose to use them is our business.
Clearly the sentiment of my comment is misunderstood. If couples want play in a private room then go ahead. It's just a pet peeve, and opinion if you will. Nothing to do with conduct or attitude.
No excuse for stalking them in the first place though, is it?
Yes this ....the sense of entitlement "
Too funny, people make this so personal. Let's hope when people enter swinger clubs they "leave their attitude at the door" as the saying goes. |
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I’m single but often go to clubs with friends, the amount of times men have asked a male friend for permission to play with me is ridiculous. Without even asking me I mean, like it’s up to him Yes talk to both of us, establish if we’re together etc, but please ask women for consent over their own bodies and not just the man you assume to be her partner. |
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you.
And this is why single guys get such a reputation with attitudes like this...
We like to play openly AND privately, we have paid an entrance fee to use the club and its facilities....how we choose to use them is our business.
Clearly the sentiment of my comment is misunderstood. If couples want play in a private room then go ahead. It's just a pet peeve, and opinion if you will. Nothing to do with conduct or attitude.
No excuse for stalking them in the first place though, is it?
Yes this ....the sense of entitlement
Too funny, people make this so personal. Let's hope when people enter swinger clubs they "leave their attitude at the door" as the saying goes. "
To be totally honest, after reading your comments about being annoyed at couples not letting you watch and admitting to following people around clubs, I really don’t think it’s the other people here that need to reassess their attitude about going to clubs. |
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you.
And this is why single guys get such a reputation with attitudes like this...
We like to play openly AND privately, we have paid an entrance fee to use the club and its facilities....how we choose to use them is our business.
Clearly the sentiment of my comment is misunderstood. If couples want play in a private room then go ahead. It's just a pet peeve, and opinion if you will. Nothing to do with conduct or attitude.
No excuse for stalking them in the first place though, is it?
Yes this ....the sense of entitlement
Too funny, people make this so personal. Let's hope when people enter swinger clubs they "leave their attitude at the door" as the saying goes. "
Rather that than leaving your etiquette at the door. |
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you.
And this is why single guys get such a reputation with attitudes like this...
We like to play openly AND privately, we have paid an entrance fee to use the club and its facilities....how we choose to use them is our business.
Clearly the sentiment of my comment is misunderstood. If couples want play in a private room then go ahead. It's just a pet peeve, and opinion if you will. Nothing to do with conduct or attitude.
No excuse for stalking them in the first place though, is it?
Yes this ....the sense of entitlement
Too funny, people make this so personal. Let's hope when people enter swinger clubs they "leave their attitude at the door" as the saying goes. "
From reading some of your comments, it’s you with the attitude. Everyone should be following the rules of the club and respecting boundaries. Out of interest, I googled one of the club’s that have been frequently mentioned ‘Pandoras’ and their rules state: “If you ask to join in in any sexual activity and are refused please respect the decision and move on. If you persist or annoy other members in the club you will be asked to leave the premises. If a lady or a couple are interested in you they will approach you.” So I think it’s you that needs to assess your club etiquette |
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you.
And this is why single guys get such a reputation with attitudes like this...
We like to play openly AND privately, we have paid an entrance fee to use the club and its facilities....how we choose to use them is our business.
Clearly the sentiment of my comment is misunderstood. If couples want play in a private room then go ahead. It's just a pet peeve, and opinion if you will. Nothing to do with conduct or attitude.
No excuse for stalking them in the first place though, is it?
Yes this ....the sense of entitlement
Too funny, people make this so personal. Let's hope when people enter swinger clubs they "leave their attitude at the door" as the saying goes.
From reading some of your comments, it’s you with the attitude. Everyone should be following the rules of the club and respecting boundaries. Out of interest, I googled one of the club’s that have been frequently mentioned ‘Pandoras’ and their rules state: “If you ask to join in in any sexual activity and are refused please respect the decision and move on. If you persist or annoy other members in the club you will be asked to leave the premises. If a lady or a couple are interested in you they will approach you.” So I think it’s you that needs to assess your club etiquette "
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"To be fair making general statements about single guys or couples is irrelevant because everyone is different. Seems that what is unacceptable to some is acceptable to others."
If you really think stalking other couples in a club is acceptable, then you obviously have a serious problem and should probably stay away from clubs, for the good of everyone else.
|
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"To be fair making general statements about single guys or couples is irrelevant because everyone is different. Seems that what is unacceptable to some is acceptable to others.
If you really think stalking other couples in a club is acceptable, then you obviously have a serious problem and should probably stay away from clubs, for the good of everyone else.
"
Who said anything about stalking? Another misunderstanding... |
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"To be fair making general statements about single guys or couples is irrelevant because everyone is different. Seems that what is unacceptable to some is acceptable to others.
If you really think stalking other couples in a club is acceptable, then you obviously have a serious problem and should probably stay away from clubs, for the good of everyone else.
Who said anything about stalking? Another misunderstanding... "
By your own admission, you "follow other couples around" in clubs. That's stalking. |
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By *lueFireCouple
over a year ago
just somewhere around here |
"To be fair making general statements about single guys or couples is irrelevant because everyone is different. Seems that what is unacceptable to some is acceptable to others.
If you really think stalking other couples in a club is acceptable, then you obviously have a serious problem and should probably stay away from clubs, for the good of everyone else.
"
We have had a couple of issues where we have had to tell a single male to fuck of as they were persistent...and one example of me coming out of a toilet to find Mrs R in a situation where the guy was intimidating her, it took me all my restraint not to twat him, instead I did the right thing and got security to eject him
Hence my use of the word "entitlement" |
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"To be fair making general statements about single guys or couples is irrelevant because everyone is different. Seems that what is unacceptable to some is acceptable to others.
If you really think stalking other couples in a club is acceptable, then you obviously have a serious problem and should probably stay away from clubs, for the good of everyone else.
Who said anything about stalking? Another misunderstanding...
By your own admission, you "follow other couples around" in clubs. That's stalking."
If you say so. Having spoken to a couple for about 15mins in hot tub, then later following them into a room, yes without invitation, but them not turning me away. I get it, it's a fine line, but I'm no stalker. |
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"To be fair making general statements about single guys or couples is irrelevant because everyone is different. Seems that what is unacceptable to some is acceptable to others.
If you really think stalking other couples in a club is acceptable, then you obviously have a serious problem and should probably stay away from clubs, for the good of everyone else.
We have had a couple of issues where we have had to tell a single male to fuck of as they were persistent...and one example of me coming out of a toilet to find Mrs R in a situation where the guy was intimidating her, it took me all my restraint not to twat him, instead I did the right thing and got security to eject him
Hence my use of the word "entitlement""
It annoys me to know that these tw*ts still exist, and walk amongst us. |
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"This thread should be mandatory reading for all who attend clubs - especially guys!
If you’ve ever wondered why some people are more successful than you when at a club, it might be because you’re doing some/all of the things above.
"
This!!! |
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By *lueFireCouple
over a year ago
just somewhere around here |
"Men in couples making zero effort in comparison to their partners! "
Yes definitely....or the fact that the females comfortably walk round in underwear while the guy looks like he's just got of the terraces
Me on the other hand like to strip as soon as possible
Mr R |
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you.
And this is why single guys get such a reputation with attitudes like this...
We like to play openly AND privately, we have paid an entrance fee to use the club and its facilities....how we choose to use them is our business.
Clearly the sentiment of my comment is misunderstood. If couples want play in a private room then go ahead. It's just a pet peeve, and opinion if you will. Nothing to do with conduct or attitude.
No excuse for stalking them in the first place though, is it?
Yes this ....the sense of entitlement
Too funny, people make this so personal. Let's hope when people enter swinger clubs they "leave their attitude at the door" as the saying goes.
To be totally honest, after reading your comments about being annoyed at couples not letting you watch and admitting to following people around clubs, I really don’t think it’s the other people here that need to reassess their attitude about going to clubs. "
Exactly this |
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"To be fair making general statements about single guys or couples is irrelevant because everyone is different. Seems that what is unacceptable to some is acceptable to others.
If you really think stalking other couples in a club is acceptable, then you obviously have a serious problem and should probably stay away from clubs, for the good of everyone else.
Who said anything about stalking? Another misunderstanding...
By your own admission, you "follow other couples around" in clubs. That's stalking.
If you say so. Having spoken to a couple for about 15mins in hot tub, then later following them into a room, yes without invitation, but them not turning me away. I get it, it's a fine line, but I'm no stalker. "
This has backfired for you big time lmao |
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"Non consensual touching, both from men and women.
Agreed. To the nice gentleman that groped Ella under the water in the hot tub last Wednesday, go **** yourself. With a chainsaw.
G"
Utterly grim - hope he was chucked out promptly. |
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you. "
This massively puts me off ever doing clubs again, and I was reluctant as it was due to feeling like people felt entitled to my body.
Explains why we immediately had a room full of guys with one looming over me within a matter of seconds I guess. |
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you.
This massively puts me off ever doing clubs again, and I was reluctant as it was due to feeling like people felt entitled to my body.
Explains why we immediately had a room full of guys with one looming over me within a matter of seconds I guess."
Absolutely, we love being watched but sometimes we just wanna reconnect with each other. People don’t know what’s going on in that room. They could just be having a cuddle if an open play session got intense and they needed to reset! |
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"My pet peeve is couples who lock themselves away in a private room to just play with each other. Would be nice if others were at least able to watch. I know not everyone are exhibitionist, just you might as well just be at home if no one else can see you.
This massively puts me off ever doing clubs again, and I was reluctant as it was due to feeling like people felt entitled to my body.
Explains why we immediately had a room full of guys with one looming over me within a matter of seconds I guess.
Absolutely, we love being watched but sometimes we just wanna reconnect with each other. People don’t know what’s going on in that room. They could just be having a cuddle if an open play session got intense and they needed to reset! "
Exactly. Apart from the people that are there, nobody else knows what's happening in that room, and nobody else needs to know. I used private room in the past to have a bit of a cry and a cuddle when things got too much in the club, due to my confidence levels or pain (not caused by others, just to be clear) or when I needed a quick, private chat with my partner. I don't mind being watched, but I do like to have a choice of having a private lockable room available if I need it, not necessarily for sex. Those are especially handy for me when I'm in a new club or somewhere I'm not overly familiar with, and others are making me feel uncomfortable. Then I can retire to a private room, compose myself, get "warmed up" by my partner and be able to face the outside world again.
To the guy who "hates it when couples lock themselves in private rooms for hours": yes, you are entitled to your own opinion, but if it annoys you so much, why don't you go to a club that hasn't got private rooms? I know at least one in UK. Or you can always try and accept the fact that they need some alone time and move on?
To the couple that are getting put off from going to the club due to comment about couples locking themselves in private rooms: you are allowed to use a club how you see fit. You don't owe anyone any explanation, nor you have to "entertain" entitled individuals who believe anyone in a swingers club should be fair game. In most clubs, there are couples only rooms where singles (male or female) are not allowed in. |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"The group of single blokes following women and couples like sheep.. Does not annoy me but does make me laugh"
And even though they don't know each other they always end up in heards from room to room lol |
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Me and the wife used to enjoy leading the followers on a merry dance, back on the old abfab days you'd often get a group of guys walking away from the stable block, because of this you knew nothing was happening down there. As soon as we would walk past they would 180 and start following. Once we knew this was happening we'd have a short walk check out the rooms all the while being followed, then find a seat and sit, very rarely did any of the guys approach us. And on the odd occasion the wife fancied one of the guys the rest of them would put her off and ruin it for the others.
I think the worst thing that happened was my Fwb went to try a swing out and fell backwards hitting her head, I had two very hot coffees in my hand so was stuck luckily there were 2 guys following us, 1 of the guys jumped forwards to assist her while the other disrobed and started stroking his dick. |
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