FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Calling all Interracial / Black Couples
Calling all Interracial / Black Couples
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"As the organiser of the BMFC (BlackMans FanClub) i have been asked on many occasions over the years to organise an event specifically for Interracial or Black couples I have heard it said repeatedly that this portion of the swinging community feel there is a need for a party specifically catering to their preferences - and i am happy to try to deliver it So, if you are a Black couple or an Interracial couple who would be interested in attending a party designed with your needs in mind, then drop me a line or leave your interest here I already have a venue (based in the North of London) provisionally booked for a date in March, so with support this will be a regular event Please note - whilst i do find some comments on these forums rather witty, i am not interested in any racist jibes I am actually only interested in valid comments from the target audience that this message is aimed at Thanks in advance Helen" we want a BWFC! | |||
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"As the organiser of the BMFC (BlackMans FanClub) i have been asked on many occasions over the years to organise an event specifically for Interracial or Black couples I have heard it said repeatedly that this portion of the swinging community feel there is a need for a party specifically catering to their preferences - and i am happy to try to deliver it So, if you are a Black couple or an Interracial couple who would be interested in attending a party designed with your needs in mind, then drop me a line or leave your interest here I already have a venue (based in the North of London) provisionally booked for a date in March, so with support this will be a regular event Please note - whilst i do find some comments on these forums rather witty, i am not interested in any racist jibes I am actually only interested in valid comments from the target audience that this message is aimed at Thanks in advance Helen we want a BWFC!" A BWFC! Is that a party for fans of Bolton Wanderers Football Club...
Good Luck with this Helen, though it won't be for me. | |||
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"We would be, but London is difficult for us due to sitters etc, we'd definitely come if there was one in the west midlands/Manchester way " As much as i would LOVE to pick a venue close to everyone, it really is impossible I have however chosen the venue that is the closest to the majority of my membership, but also easily accessible for other members who are NOT located in London AROUSALS is just outside LUTON and therefore as central as i could make it ... Its just over 1 hour drive from Birmingham, 2 hours from Manchester, 90 mins from Nottingham, 90 mins from South London, 90 mins from Kent .. So as you can see, i have put in a lot of thought when choosing the venue | |||
This party will be STRICTLY COUPLES ONLY
Singles are allowed to 'couple up' but they MUST be experienced and happy playing as a couple
Want more info? .. Leave a message here or drop me an email | |||
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"We would be interested." Just sent you a private message | |||
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"I'm not "qualified" to go, but I can pass the word on to some friends who may be interested. The question is what the definition of "black" is. Is it the strict Afro-Carribean "black" or do you welcome other non-Europeans? My friends are Indians, so could fall between two stools here." The following is lifted straight from the BMFC website and should answer your question
The BMFC hosts Adult parties specifically organised for ladies and couples who appreciate the 'extras' that Black Guys bring and for the Black Guys who enjoy being appreciated.
"for the avoidance of doubt, entry is open to all regardless of colour or race. However, the ethos of the party is ladies who like black men so, if you don't fit into either of those two categories, you may find nobody taking much playful interest in you ."
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"What extras are those "Contrary to popular belief, not all Black guys are hung The word 'extras' is there as an individual interpretation - it is whatever guests want to experience when attending a BMFC Party The 'extras' that i refer to is gained from the Black culture - music, food, life experience, knowledge ... | |||
"What extras are those
Contrary to popular belief, not all Black guys are hung
The word 'extras' is there as an individual interpretation - it is whatever guests want to experience when attending a BMFC Party
The 'extras' that i refer to is gained from the Black culture - music, food, life experience, knowledge ...
"Hmm. Aren't those the same as mine then considering they will also be British? | |||
"What extras are those
Contrary to popular belief, not all Black guys are hung
The word 'extras' is there as an individual interpretation - it is whatever guests want to experience when attending a BMFC Party
The 'extras' that i refer to is gained from the Black culture - music, food, life experience, knowledge ...
Hmm. Aren't those the same as mine then considering they will also be British?"So your problem with that is!!!???? | |||
"What extras are those
Contrary to popular belief, not all Black guys are hung
The word 'extras' is there as an individual interpretation - it is whatever guests want to experience when attending a BMFC Party
The 'extras' that i refer to is gained from the Black culture - music, food, life experience, knowledge ...
Hmm. Aren't those the same as mine then considering they will also be British?
So your problem with that is!!!????"So I have got exactly the same extras then? So why bother with a BMFC at all? Should it not be a MFC? | |||
"What extras are those
Contrary to popular belief, not all Black guys are hung
The word 'extras' is there as an individual interpretation - it is whatever guests want to experience when attending a BMFC Party
The 'extras' that i refer to is gained from the Black culture - music, food, life experience, knowledge ...
Hmm. Aren't those the same as mine then considering they will also be British?
So your problem with that is!!!????
So I have got exactly the same extras then? So why bother with a BMFC at all? Should it not be a MFC?"''Please note - whilst i do find some comments on these forums rather witty, i am not interested in any racist jibes I am actually only interested in valid comments from the target audience that this message is aimed at Thanks in advance Helen'' Feel free to contact me if you wish to discuss your concerns further as we have already had several exchanges of view within these forums You have made voiced your request several times - that you would like a party for you to encounter Black Ladies I have also said that i would happily organise one if their was a need I accept that you may not like what i do, or you may not see a 'need', however with an excess of 10,000 BMFC members, 6 monthly parties and an average of 80 guests at each party, i can safely say that there is a need for the BMFC I really do hope that you find a Black Lady as the ones that attend the BMFC parties are lovely x Helen x | |||
"What extras are those
Contrary to popular belief, not all Black guys are hung
The word 'extras' is there as an individual interpretation - it is whatever guests want to experience when attending a BMFC Party
The 'extras' that i refer to is gained from the Black culture - music, food, life experience, knowledge ...
Hmm. Aren't those the same as mine then considering they will also be British?
So your problem with that is!!!????
So I have got exactly the same extras then? So why bother with a BMFC at all? Should it not be a MFC?
''Please note - whilst i do find some comments on these forums rather witty, i am not interested in any racist jibes
I am actually only interested in valid comments from the target audience that this message is aimed at
Thanks in advance
Helen''
Feel free to contact me if you wish to discuss your concerns further as we have already had several exchanges of view within these forums
You have made voiced your request several times - that you would like a party for you to encounter Black Ladies
I have also said that i would happily organise one if their was a need
I accept that you may not like what i do, or you may not see a 'need', however with an excess of 10,000 BMFC members, 6 monthly parties and an average of 80 guests at each party, i can safely say that there is a need for the BMFC
I really do hope that you find a Black Lady as the ones that attend the BMFC parties are lovely
x Helen x"I am just trying to get some parity. There seems to be an underlying current that black men are superior to white men which I find disturbing to say the least. | |||
"What extras are those
Contrary to popular belief, not all Black guys are hung
The word 'extras' is there as an individual interpretation - it is whatever guests want to experience when attending a BMFC Party
The 'extras' that i refer to is gained from the Black culture - music, food, life experience, knowledge ...
Hmm. Aren't those the same as mine then considering they will also be British?
So your problem with that is!!!????
So I have got exactly the same extras then? So why bother with a BMFC at all? Should it not be a MFC?
''Please note - whilst i do find some comments on these forums rather witty, i am not interested in any racist jibes
I am actually only interested in valid comments from the target audience that this message is aimed at
Thanks in advance
Helen''
Feel free to contact me if you wish to discuss your concerns further as we have already had several exchanges of view within these forums
You have made voiced your request several times - that you would like a party for you to encounter Black Ladies
I have also said that i would happily organise one if their was a need
I accept that you may not like what i do, or you may not see a 'need', however with an excess of 10,000 BMFC members, 6 monthly parties and an average of 80 guests at each party, i can safely say that there is a need for the BMFC
I really do hope that you find a Black Lady as the ones that attend the BMFC parties are lovely
x Helen x
I am just trying to get some parity. There seems to be an underlying current that black men are superior to white men which I find disturbing to say the least."The BMFC is more for those that cant find what they want catered by other clubs. Just like the 35 South community is aimed at those under 35. We have been to many clubs and the amount of black ladies or men is very very low. BMFC is simply a club gathering of like members looking for like members. It's not racist. White or whatever origin are VERY welcome to attend the BMFC club nights. But you may find your interest limited from others as they are there looking generally for black guys. A group catering for those that want a specific interest, because they cant find it at general clubs! It's no different than those looking specifically for Under 35's or those looking for Bi Guys (feel free to add whatever interest you have). | |||
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"Why is it that some people can't fail to bring something down. Bmfc is there for those that want it. Much the same as bi /fetish nites are organised. They cater for a preference. It doesn't mean youre against heterosexual couples if you organise a bi nite. It doesnt mean youre against whites if you go bmfc. its a preference. If its not for you ignore it but please don't generalize the reasons people go or want to go. cocks are cocks -men are men -women are women- and It doesn't matter what colour or race they are. EVERYONE'S THE SAME UNDER THE SKIN. just enjoy the scene" And that is my point everyone is the same under the skin. It is hardly like say...a BDSM night. That is choice based on behaviour. | |||
" It is hardly like say...a BDSM night. That is choice based on behaviour. " okay... first of all, i am no fan of the "BMFC" mistique... but what is then the different between lets say BMFC... and the BBW nights that spring up??? or the fever pretty people nights... or indeed couples only nights..... | |||
" It is hardly like say...a BDSM night. That is choice based on behaviour. okay... first of all, i am no fan of the "BMFC" mistique... but what is then the different between lets say BMFC... and the BBW nights that spring up??? or the fever pretty people nights... or indeed couples only nights....." I didn't think ethnicity was a choice. All the others are? No further comment from me on this, I sound like a zealot lol | |||
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" It is hardly like say...a BDSM night. That is choice based on behaviour. okay... first of all, i am no fan of the "BMFC" mistique... but what is then the different between lets say BMFC... and the BBW nights that spring up??? or the fever pretty people nights... or indeed couples only nights..... I didn't think ethnicity was a choice. All the others are? No further comment from me on this, I sound like a zealot lol" but all of those decisions on whether to go to those events or not are made on "Choice"..........  | |||
" It is hardly like say...a BDSM night. That is choice based on behaviour. okay... first of all, i am no fan of the "BMFC" mistique... but what is then the different between lets say BMFC... and the BBW nights that spring up??? or the fever pretty people nights... or indeed couples only nights..... I didn't think ethnicity was a choice. All the others are? No further comment from me on this, I sound like a zealot lol but all of those decisions on whether to go to those events or not are made on "Choice".......... "Larger people can chose to eat less or exercise more, Fever pretty people could eat more, wear less make up, not have surgery, Cd/Tv could chose not to dress, Bi people don't have to play with the same sex. They all have a choice... Black, White, Asian, Mixed, Indonesian etc.. people don't have a choice, they were born that way. So to enhance or reduce someones chances of a meet, based on there ethnicity is potentially racist, discriminatory and morally wrong. | |||
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"To the people above who are accusing me of being immorral, racist, discriminatory .. I will again provide an exact quote from the BMFC website .. "for the avoidance of doubt, entry is open to all regardless of colour or race. However, the ethos of the party is ladies who like black men so, if you don't fit into either of those two categories, you may find nobody taking much playful interest in you ." So, white men, asian men, mixed race men, bi men, fat men, bald men, skinny ladies, black ladies, big girls, couples (white, black or interacial etc)are ALL welcome at a BMFC party To refuse ANYONE based on the colour of their skin would not only be discriminitory but also judgemental .. I did state in my original post that I was trying to obtain interest from a certain target audience and that I would prefer no racist comments .. It seems that some people just can't resist having a jibe! I wish you all the very best and I hope that your needs are catered for because members of the BMFC have regular opportunities to mix with like-minded non judgemental people in a stress free environment - and they're loving every minute of it!" Nobody accused you of being racist, some people had merely said that the concept needs updating and tweeking to make it more socially acceptable and more inclusive. The problem with such events is that people of certain ethnicity may begin to only go to clubs when these events are on, meaning that people of that type won't necessarily be in clubs etc on a normal night, creating a circle of events that make people feel more segregated and dependent on these events, and further exasperate the "need" for them. It is the same when fab socials are on in clubs, you sometimes see reviews on clubs from the night on other sites saying "night was very cliquey", evidence of this can be seen on the club reviews on here from when sh had a social at xtasia. You say above that all people are welcome, but the event title to some could be intimidating and exclusive. Black Mans Fan Club suggests that only people looking for black men should attend. Based on your description of who can attend this is now a multi-ethnic event and perhaps should be reclassified as such. In the whole thread not one person has made a racist comment, nor accused any person of being racist. People have merely tried to have a grown up discussion. Nobody was knocking you, as everyone knows how hard it is to organize any event, the amount of time you have to dedicate, and the amount of people you have to message and co-ordinate with. Anyone who organises any event, be it on here or anywhere else deserves a massive amount of credit, as without people like you, people will be sat on here going, "we've got nothing to do", "no-one meets", "no-one organises anything". Really hope the night is a success for you, and hope that peoples comments and feedback are taken on board for future events. | |||
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Keep up the good work Helen xxx | |||
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"We've been to BMFC events and seen people from all walks of life attend the party. Does anyone have a problem with Fabswingers making a site for Bi/gay people? Or is being gay a "choice" as well? We went to Brighton this weekend and partied at a few gay/lesbian/TV clubs. Did the fact that I'm straight stop me from attending? No, why should it? It's a free country so I can go wherever I want to go. White men make the choice to go to BMFC parties and are very happy to do so as I've seen for myself as a single guy in the past. I (Silk) have attended clubs where I was the only black man inside the building fully well knowing that maybe nobody would be interested in me. Luckily we played with a white couple but I have heard stories of where Black men are not welcome by some of the people at white dominated clubs. At a BMFC party you don't have those concerns that no one will like you because you know that women are there to indulge in their appetite for black men. I'd even say Brown men too cos I've seen Asian men have fun at a party. In an ideal world people of all races and sexual orientations would party in the same place but the way society is that isn't going to happen soon. Doesn't mean we should give up on that ideal but don't criticise Helen for catering to a preference for a number of people. Or do some people have a problem with the word "Black" being used in a positive light instead being associated with a crime
Keep up the good work Helen xxx "Funny you should say that, went to Abfab the day and some couple( both white) pushed my boyfriend in returned he said no need to be rude and the man put his hand on my man and said lets go outside if you wanna do something about it! The long and short of it is that we reported it to the management and we where told and they told us we must have misunderstood what the guy said as they know them and let them stay and asked us to keep away from them! What a joke! Never again. Think BMFC is gonna be our new spot | |||
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"We've been to BMFC events and seen people from all walks of life attend the party. Does anyone have a problem with Fabswingers making a site for Bi/gay people? Or is being gay a "choice" as well? We went to Brighton this weekend and partied at a few gay/lesbian/TV clubs. Did the fact that I'm straight stop me from attending? No, why should it? It's a free country so I can go wherever I want to go. White men make the choice to go to BMFC parties and are very happy to do so as I've seen for myself as a single guy in the past. I (Silk) have attended clubs where I was the only black man inside the building fully well knowing that maybe nobody would be interested in me. Luckily we played with a white couple but I have heard stories of where Black men are not welcome by some of the people at white dominated clubs. At a BMFC party you don't have those concerns that no one will like you because you know that women are there to indulge in their appetite for black men. I'd even say Brown men too cos I've seen Asian men have fun at a party. In an ideal world people of all races and sexual orientations would party in the same place but the way society is that isn't going to happen soon. Doesn't mean we should give up on that ideal but don't criticise Helen for catering to a preference for a number of people. Or do some people have a problem with the word "Black" being used in a positive light instead being associated with a crime
Keep up the good work Helen xxx
Funny you should say that, went to Abfab the day and some couple( both white) pushed my boyfriend in returned he said no need to be rude and the man put his hand on my man and said lets go outside if you wanna do something about it! The long and short of it is that we reported it to the management and we where told and they told us we must have misunderstood what the guy said as they know them and let them stay and asked us to keep away from them! What a joke! Never again. Think BMFC is gonna be our new spot"What has this got to do with this thread? | |||
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"think they were just saying that it would be nice to go to a club where they would be guaranteed to fit in, not get treated badly for not being part of the face fits clique. same reason gay and bi people go to gay/bi nights because they don't want to be stared at or worse."  | |||
"think they were just saying that it would be nice to go to a club where they would be guaranteed to fit in, not get treated badly for not being part of the face fits clique. same reason gay and bi people go to gay/bi nights because they don't want to be stared at or worse." I have never seen anything like that in the NW clubs, far from it. Maybe we are more enlightened up this way! | |||
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" The problem with such events is that people of certain ethnicity may begin to only go to clubs when these events are on, meaning that people of that type won't necessarily be in clubs etc on a normal night, creating a circle of events that make people feel more segregated and dependent on these events, and further exasperate the "need" for them. It is the same when fab socials are on in clubs, you sometimes see reviews on clubs from the night on other sites saying "night was very cliquey", evidence of this can be seen on the club reviews on here from when sh had a social at xtasia. " if it makes you feel any better judging by the inbox I get anytime it comes up... there are as many black guys who are repelled and turned off by the notion, so as for not turning up on other nights... if people want to go to them, there are as many happy to turn up on all inclusive nights there are a few black guys who do speak up about it... I can understand what you mean about segregated events... local chatrooms killed the grand socials they use to have on sites because no on travelled anymore, and the local ones became stale for the same faces... | |||
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"I personally think that if someone does not approve of how others arange club nights/socials/parties then they should arrange their own and call it what they like. There are clubs that don't allow single men (of any colour), there was a guy wanting to open a club that would not allow any singles or TVs/TSs, there are TV/TS, bi, and greedy girl nights at several clubs local to me. No-one has forced me to attend any of them. If the OP has a successful event (which I know she does) then whats the problem. If you don't like it, arrange your own." Imagine the outcry if someone organised a WMFC. | |||
"I personally think that if someone does not approve of how others arange club nights/socials/parties then they should arrange their own and call it what they like. There are clubs that don't allow single men (of any colour), there was a guy wanting to open a club that would not allow any singles or TVs/TSs, there are TV/TS, bi, and greedy girl nights at several clubs local to me. No-one has forced me to attend any of them. If the OP has a successful event (which I know she does) then whats the problem. If you don't like it, arrange your own. Imagine the outcry if someone organised a WMFC. " To be honest thats most clubs anyway no need to organise it | |||
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"think they were just saying that it would be nice to go to a club where they would be guaranteed to fit in, not get treated badly for not being part of the face fits clique. same reason gay and bi people go to gay/bi nights because they don't want to be stared at or worse." | |||
"I personally think that if someone does not approve of how others arange club nights/socials/parties then they should arrange their own and call it what they like. There are clubs that don't allow single men (of any colour), there was a guy wanting to open a club that would not allow any singles or TVs/TSs, there are TV/TS, bi, and greedy girl nights at several clubs local to me. No-one has forced me to attend any of them. If the OP has a successful event (which I know she does) then whats the problem. If you don't like it, arrange your own. Imagine the outcry if someone organised a WMFC. To be honest thats most clubs anyway no need to organise it" Strangely I thought every club was open to all colours, sizes and sexes without setting up 'labelled' evenings. Until everyone is treated the same people are just perpetuating the issue. | |||
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"Can we have a NPFC then? (Nice Person Fan Club)" All of the people that DO attend the BMFC fall in that category anyway!! | |||
"Strangely I thought every club was open to all colours, sizes and sexes without setting up 'labelled' evenings. Until everyone is treated the same people are just perpetuating the issue." I am totally perplexed as i really dont know if you are saying what you say to just wind everyone up No-one has ever said that clubs are not open to everyone In an ideal world ALL clubs would be well attended every time they opened their doors, but that is not the case Is that because all ethnic minorities are attending my events? - no its not Is it because those people feel that i cater for their needs more? - possibly What are their needs? - who knows, that is based on each individual However i do ensure that the music played at my events is Old Skool R&B, Reggea, Soul and loads of commercial R&B too When we bring in the caterers, its a West Indian company, who provides flavorsome home cooked food (not everything is spicy) We raise the bar in relation to the dress code All of our venues have large dance-floors and several social areas to encourage people to socialise first We provide many tips and hints to all members (compiled by BMFC members) to ensure that all guests get the most out of their BMFC experience We always listen to our members and are constantly trying to improve what we provide We manage the guest list including the ratio of guys to ladies as much as possible to ensure that there is no cattle market scenario We have adopted a strategic marketing approach to ensure that our parties are well attended and consist of like-minded guests We recognise the importance of value for money so i always try to obtain reduced admission prices (due to numbers that i attract)and guaranteed high attendance I will never please everyone all of the time, but i am not bothered about the people that dont like what we do I am, however bothered about the members that DO attend As i have said on so many occasions, i really do hope that you find the elusive Black lady that you have advertised for but maybe you need to look at WHY they arent attending the clubs that you say are 'inclusive'? Maybe its because those clubs ARE cliquey, unwelcoming, play the wrong music, or attract people who are not into Black Ladies?? Oh to live in an ideal world, where there are equal numbers of equal people I started the BMFC because i AM attracted to Black Guys, but there just wasnt enough of them in the clubs that i went to I am not the type of person who sits back and waits for someone else to do something - it was me who had the 'problem' so i decided to do something about it And thats my suggestion to you - Set up a BWFC but there again according to you the Black Ladies should be attending all of the venues anyway!!! | |||
"I personally think that if someone does not approve of how others arange club nights/socials/parties then they should arrange their own and call it what they like. There are clubs that don't allow single men (of any colour), there was a guy wanting to open a club that would not allow any singles or TVs/TSs, there are TV/TS, bi, and greedy girl nights at several clubs local to me. No-one has forced me to attend any of them. If the OP has a successful event (which I know she does) then whats the problem. If you don't like it, arrange your own. Imagine the outcry if someone organised a WMFC. " Much like the outcry for this post? The OP has stated that no person is barred from attending because of their skin colour. I have seen many posts about asian only meets, or black only meets, and there are plenty of profiles that state 'no asians, no blacks' And as BMFC stands for 'Black Mans FAN Club', not Black People only club, then I am sure anyone wanting to arrange a White Mans Fan Club is more than welcome to. The only reason I don't go to the OPs club is because it is so far away. However Cocoaflex has exactly the same ethos and I don't notice them copping a load of flak. | |||
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"think they were just saying that it would be nice to go to a club where they would be guaranteed to fit in, not get treated badly for not being part of the face fits clique. same reason gay and bi people go to gay/bi nights because they don't want to be stared at or worse." Great comment | |||
"I personally think that if someone does not approve of how others arange club nights/socials/parties then they should arrange their own and call it what they like. There are clubs that don't allow single men (of any colour), there was a guy wanting to open a club that would not allow any singles or TVs/TSs, there are TV/TS, bi, and greedy girl nights at several clubs local to me. No-one has forced me to attend any of them. If the OP has a successful event (which I know she does) then whats the problem. If you don't like it, arrange your own. Imagine the outcry if someone organised a WMFC. Much like the outcry for this post? The OP has stated that no person is barred from attending because of their skin colour. I have seen many posts about asian only meets, or black only meets, and there are plenty of profiles that state 'no asians, no blacks' And as BMFC stands for 'Black Mans FAN Club', not Black People only club, then I am sure anyone wanting to arrange a White Mans Fan Club is more than welcome to. The only reason I don't go to the OPs club is because it is so far away. However Cocoaflex has exactly the same ethos and I don't notice them copping a load of flak. " I believe that's because Cocoaflex (from the name alone) does not suggest an obvious "black men" demographic. some years back I used to run interracial parties, and an asian gentleman requested to attend - I clarified the demographic to him which he suggested he understood, but after the party took issue with me because "no woman would play with him" - how exactly was that my fault? Lol. Disclaimer: I am not affiliated nor attend BMFC nor Cocoaflex. | |||
