FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Letting single men into clubs

Letting single men into clubs

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Why do most clubs not let single men into clubs on a Saturday night?!

I’m in the midlands and hardly any clubs let them in….I don’t understand it! As a single female I go for men not couples most of the single ladies I’ve spoken to say the same thing

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *eeds Horny BuggerMan over a year ago

Leeds

It’s the same in Leeds to be fair. Obviously lots of guys haven’t helped themselves over the years pestering couples so they wanted a night where there was only couples and single females. Suppose is so hard for clubs knowing what to do for the best. Some clubs alternate weekends where it’s everyone allowed then obviously no single guys next time

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ewcouplemidsCouple over a year ago

walsall

Most clubs do a single guy night and a couples only night

Nothing worse when your a couple who don't want single guys are followed around all night by men wanting to get a glimpse of some action or pestering to join in

Xtasia is one club that seems to have it sorted

Fridays in main club is all welcome and there attached pub with play room and cinema is couples only and Saturdays are main club couples n single fems only and there pub single guy's

So anyone looking for play with single guys can move between both areas

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *os19Man over a year ago

Edmonton

In London OP4F is open 10.00 pm on a Saturday night to 4.00 am Sunday morning.It is a members only club.It does allow 5 single select guys in on a Saturday from 11.00 pm or midnight.However the guys have to send a txt between 12.00 pm to 3.00 pm and all names go into a electronic hat where the five guys are chosen and they receive a txt letting them know they are on the guest list.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ustustwo.1965Couple over a year ago

"Why do most clubs not let single men into clubs on a Saturday night?!

I’m in the midlands and hardly any clubs let them in….I don’t understand it! As a single female I go for men not couples most of the single ladies I’ve spoken to say the same thing"

Don't most let them in on Fridays?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *enhamhoopMan over a year ago

Denham

"In London OP4F is open 10.00 pm on a Saturday night to 4.00 am Sunday morning.It is a members only club.It does allow 5 single select guys in on a Saturday from 11.00 pm or midnight.However the guys have to send a txt between 12.00 pm to 3.00 pm and all names go into a electronic hat where the five guys are chosen and they receive a txt letting them know they are on the guest list."
Who does the selecting?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is a shame as we'd like to meet a single bloke, but cant do a club on a Fri Eve. I think clubs should be a bit more inclusive, although I do get that some couples do get fed up with being hassled by some single blokes, who think as they are in a club they should be able to play with anyone they want too

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *os19Man over a year ago

Edmonton

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oobyHotwifeWoman over a year ago

Thurrock

I agree even when I'm with my husband I'd rather meet single guys than couples & in my experience couples or the male halves at least are worse at being handsy & not taking no for an answer, with the excuse 'it's ok my wife's over there' no, that doesn't mean you can touch me without asking

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

Had a couple of nights at a club when it was single guys night

and that was the problem the only people in were single guys.

And no it was not a gay night.

that's when I stopped going.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *evilandTheBeastCouple over a year ago

Peterborough and Bedford

It's impossible for clubs to satisfy all their customers' needs in one night, therefore they run different events on different nights. If you can, try and go to the event that suits your needs.

There are clubs that we know of that allow single men (in limited numbers though) on both Friday and Saturday nights.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ittleMissCaliWoman over a year ago

all loved up

"Why do most clubs not let single men into clubs on a Saturday night?!

I’m in the midlands and hardly any clubs let them in….I don’t understand it! As a single female I go for men not couples most of the single ladies I’ve spoken to say the same thing"
The attic lets single guys in on a Saturday night x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nasuitMan over a year ago

Ruislip

I think Hellfire allows single guys in 2 Saturdays out of 4 per month.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *eyond PurityCouple over a year ago

Lincolnshire

All the clubs we know/are members of, allow single men on Fridays and not Saturdays.

When you've got work and travelling and childcare to consider, Fridays are virtually impossible for us.

It would be good to have a switcharound, although I've heard that people get confused with this and turn up on the wrong night and end up being disappointed.

It would make sense for clubs in the same locality to offer alternate nights from each other (on the same night, one cater for single men, the other couples), then everyone has an option.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *redy81Man over a year ago

London

I think the best approach is OP4F's Saturday night policy. Let in single guys, but only a very few. Single guys cant make more than 10% of the total attendance, otherwise, it will feel too much.

Even if we (I am one single man too) behave well, a polite approach every 5 minutes from another man can be off-putting for a couple, I can completely understand that. While if (let's say a busy party) we have 40 couples and 4-5 single girls, 8-9 single guys will be vanished by those who are looking for them.

And yes, everything comes with a price, if clubs let in fewer men, those few need to pay more, as, at the end of the day, it's a business for the club owners.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *aughty kittensCouple over a year ago

In And Around The

We was at Xtasia last night and there was lots of single guys over at Flirts. Plenty of couple and ladies wandered over to enjoy their company and wandered back to the main club, which was couples and ladies.

It seemed a popular option so there’s certainly demand for single guys on a Saturday evening. But most clubs don’t have the two venues that can cater for an “all inclusive” night out

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ottom charlieMan over a year ago

Washington

there is no easy answer but maybe the clubs could just have a mainly single girls and guys night maybe twice a month but couples can go too as long as they realise what the club night is open for,,

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At the vanilla alternative Fridays was single guys night and Saturday was couples only. The reason has been stated previously. It give couples the chance to only play with other couples as they might not want the attention of single men. Things look to be changing at most clubs with bi nights etc more common.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a debate this has been rolling for years. Xtasia have it sorted ( as they have mots things sorted' but as pointed out they have the luxury of a secondary venue. The other clubs are going to do what makes commercial sense for them as a business. I have been on here both as a single and couple (and now single again) so for peak night of the week couples only makes sense. leaving Friday night, and sometimes Sunday, free for single guys. No system is perfect for everyone!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *irty filthy milfWoman over a year ago

somewhere only i know!

Club Play have a great balance every weekend and all single males are vetted before they walk through the door, this weekend sees Fuck Fest and URGE both are aimed at people looking for play but other weekend have themed night along with weekend nights nights and are very T Girl friendly they even have their own changing room, if you’re looking for a very relaxed club with a great social area then it’s the lava you be as there’s also no pressure to dress down till you’re ready

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Club Play have a great balance every weekend and all single males are vetted before they walk through the door, this weekend sees Fuck Fest and URGE both are aimed at people looking for play but other weekend have themed night along with weekend nights nights and are very T Girl friendly they even have their own changing room, if you’re looking for a very relaxed club with a great social area then it’s the lava you be as there’s also no pressure to dress down till you’re ready"

How are single males vetted???

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *irty filthy milfWoman over a year ago

somewhere only i know!

How are single males vetted???"

Various different ways

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *annaBeBeachBumMan over a year ago

Sunny SouthWest

The ‘various different ways’ vetting process flow-chart probably doesn’t get much past personal equipment size!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *den-Valley-coupleCouple over a year ago

Cumbria

"Why do most clubs not let single men into clubs on a Saturday night?!

I’m in the midlands and hardly any clubs let them in….I don’t understand it! As a single female I go for men not couples most of the single ladies I’ve spoken to say the same thing"

I would say it's a business discussion based on the best way to make money..

There only ever handful of single women and to many single guys put of couples simply.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How are single males vetted???

Various different ways"

AHH right, thanks for clarification..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

Who does the selecting and what's the criteria?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ustustwo.1965Couple over a year ago

Who does the selecting and what's the criteria?"

Probably the owners??

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *os19Man over a year ago

Edmonton

Who does the selecting and what's the criteria?

Probably the owners??"
. On the OP4F website it says all names go into a electronic hat drawn at random I believe.The 5 single selected guys then receive a txt telling them that they are on the guest list.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *andR510Couple over a year ago

St Neots/Wisbech

At jaydees there's a list which allows a ratio for single guys to attend on Friday and Saturday events. It requires an email to the club for a place, that way we can verify they are decent gents as well as keep the venue and guests safe and secure. Id, covid checks etc are followed the same way as everyone else, the club reviews will show how welcome single gents are.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"At jaydees there's a list which allows a ratio for single guys to attend on Friday and Saturday events. It requires an email to the club for a place, that way we can verify they are decent gents as well as keep the venue and guests safe and secure. Id, covid checks etc are followed the same way as everyone else, the club reviews will show how welcome single gents are. "

That's great idea

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

That’s why I have always liked Cupids as single guys have always been allowed in on a Saturday, as far as I can remember. This works for me perfectly

There was about 10 single guys maybe more on Saturday and after speaking with management and security not any issues with them.

I have discussed this issue numerous times, clubs that stop single guys effectively stop single women as well, as I would say minimal single females look for couples or other single females (it does happen but would say single females look for men and couples)

I had the pleasure of playing with one couple, I asked could I watch. They said yes. I then got invited to play. Said thank you, and helped clean up after. Sometimes people say that men are following them. It’s not at all sometimes the men are just wandering as well.

I think communication is key. If your not interested say so.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *andR510Couple over a year ago

St Neots/Wisbech

"That’s why I have always liked Cupids as single guys have always been allowed in on a Saturday, as far as I can remember. This works for me perfectly

There was about 10 single guys maybe more on Saturday and after speaking with management and security not any issues with them.

I think communication is key. If your not interested say so. "

Communication is essential with any potential encounter and something we reinforce a lot at the club. There's plenty of signs up and reminders of club policies, and all crew are happy to to introduce and alleviate the worries and trepidation from newbies. We have very few issues with single guys, and those that do need addressing are done so privately and civil.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

"That’s why I have always liked Cupids as single guys have always been allowed in on a Saturday, as far as I can remember. This works for me perfectly

There was about 10 single guys maybe more on Saturday and after speaking with management and security not any issues with them.

I think communication is key. If your not interested say so.

Tbh I would say the most issues I have had to affect me is one single lady and three couples that’s in 16 years.

One I was called fat by a single lady, one was during a group play and the female of one of the couples wanst happy with a single guy then had a breakdown at me over it, one was a couple didn’t like the fact I was having a wank in a room and said it’s disgusting, the other didn’t like single blokes and blanked me

So really I have done ok, but then I try to treat people as I wanted to be treat

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ove2Couple over a year ago

colchester

We see no problem we single men on a Saturday night as long as it is controlled. In other words a limited amount.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ustustwo.1965Couple over a year ago

"We see no problem we single men on a Saturday night as long as it is controlled. In other words a limited amount. "

There will always be a difference in opinion.

We do not want single guys in a club if we go there on a Saturday night. That is our thoughts on it.

A time put aside for couples to enjoy a night without single guys who think that even a short conversation constitutes consent.

A hello at a bar means that they are on for free sex.

Sadly, we and many others have had all of this.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

"We see no problem we single men on a Saturday night as long as it is controlled. In other words a limited amount.

There will always be a difference in opinion.

We do not want single guys in a club if we go there on a Saturday night. That is our thoughts on it.

A time put aside for couples to enjoy a night without single guys who think that even a short conversation constitutes consent.

A hello at a bar means that they are on for free sex.

Sadly, we and many others have had all of this. "

Ok here we go.

I was spanking and using a pin wheel on someone as requested but no sexual interaction. I never asked and they never said. So I stopped and they wanted to me to carry on and they said they would do anything and I asked anything..:they said yes and I said what even suck my cock…assuming they would say no. They pulled down my boxers and started sucking

Now as you can see I didn’t give permission they never asked it kinda just fell naturally. So another couple went in the dungeon and I asked can I watch they said yes they played as I watched

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ustustwo.1965Couple over a year ago

"We see no problem we single men on a Saturday night as long as it is controlled. In other words a limited amount.

There will always be a difference in opinion.

We do not want single guys in a club if we go there on a Saturday night. That is our thoughts on it.

A time put aside for couples to enjoy a night without single guys who think that even a short conversation constitutes consent.

A hello at a bar means that they are on for free sex.

Sadly, we and many others have had all of this.

Ok here we go.

Now as you can see I didn’t give permission they never asked it kinda just fell naturally. So another couple went in the dungeon and I asked can I watch they said yes they played as I watched "

No worries and each to their own.

We just rather a night without single guys around.

Not that we have a problem getting rid of the unwanted attention, but we can do without it.

Hence Friday nights for everyone, Saturday nights no single guys works great for us.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *exOnLegsPlymCouple over a year ago

Plymouth

Most couples we know just want to play with other couples, they don't want single men there AT ALL as you have to be on your guard all the time for peepers and gropers and single men invading your space. Regardless of how "well behaved" they are, single men are there for one thing only - sex and that's fine at an anything goes, mixed singles/couples etc night but its NOT fine at a couples only night.

So imo couples only events should be strictly couples only. There's nothing wrong with venues holding different nights aimed at different audiences. It would caused a lot less hassle if the venues and organisers did this.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ustustwo.1965Couple over a year ago

"Most couples we know just want to play with other couples, they don't want single men there AT ALL as you have to be on your guard all the time for peepers and gropers and single men invading your space. Regardless of how "well behaved" they are, single men are there for one thing only - sex and that's fine at an anything goes, mixed singles/couples etc night but its NOT fine at a couples only night.

Exactly our thoughts and experiences.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ewcouplemidsCouple over a year ago

walsall

Our thoughts too

If we go to a club we don't want following around all night saying no to cock wombles that continue to follow even after being told no

We have had doors knocked and people asking through closed doors if they can watch or join in obviously if a doors locked then answer is no so why bother

Guys find it hard to resist the footsie in a jacuzzi too

Prefer couples nights only saves all the stress and tension

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ustustwo.1965Couple over a year ago

Some guy said hello to Mrs at the bar.

All she said was hello back and was pleasant.

The guy came strutting over thinking he was in luck-after just a hello??

He didn't like taking no for an answer, but got the message when I stood up.

No need for it whatsoever. He should have accepted NO and fucked off.

A common occurrence when single guys are about.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I had a club if have a mixed area (similar to flirts), an "exclusive" area (which may vary on different nights) and a "invite area" which is where ppl who are in ten exclusive group can being someone from the mixed area to play with.

Anyone found not with their chaperone will be kicked out !

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ondoncouple14Couple over a year ago

romford

We find a few single men in the club is much better. Agree the ones who circle round and seem to think they are entitled to play are a pain. When it is limited the clubs seem to select the known gentlemen of their club.

For us couples only nights feel more pressured. Hard to describe, but there is more pressure for both of you in the couple to find another couple you can feel at ease with. That seems a very hard thing to do. Maybe that is just us.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *estinysswingersCouple over a year ago

Worsley

Wish it was like this in the North West. Almost all clubs allow singles guys in a Saturday.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *exOnLegsPlymCouple over a year ago

Plymouth

"For us couples only nights feel more pressured. Hard to describe, but there is more pressure for both of you in the couple to find another couple you can feel at ease with."

We've never really felt that tbh. We just do our own thing and if a couple want to join us, great. If they do they do, if they don't they don't

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *isfits behaving badlyCouple over a year ago

Coventry

It's not much fun for single parents. Often weekends are the only time off from the kids and more so Saturdays are better. I remember when I started on the scene as a single guy and a full time single parent with young kids. My only escape my ex having the kids over a weekend every two weeks. Fridays I just wanted to recharge after the kids picked. Unfortunately my club options limited by Couples night being Saturdays most places. Most of the single women on the scene I've known prefer nights where there are single guys (for natural reasons) so this arrangement doesn't really suit many single mums on a golden kid free Saturday.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

I can tell you that I have had my space invaded by women a number of times without being asked, and groped and spanked. Yes I have had words with the ladies - why because if it was a gent that done it they would have been chucked out.

I sometimes think that couples that don’t want single guys need to be educated that not all single guys are knobheads, and single guys need to be educated on the swinging etiquette.

I agree there should be NO single guys at a couples only night and actually I don’t know any cases where this has happened. I mean I can happily go to a club and not play but discreetly watch.

If a couple was speaking with me and made it clearly that they are looking for a couple or single female. I would normally joke same as me then lol, and move on and say something like well good luck.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

"Some guy said hello to Mrs at the bar.

All she said was hello back and was pleasant.

The guy came strutting over thinking he was in luck-after just a hello??

He didn't like taking no for an answer, but got the message when I stood up.

No need for it whatsoever. He should have accepted NO and fucked off.

A common occurrence when single guys are about.

Tbh the only thing without knowing the whole story that he should have done he should off accepted the first no, wished you have a good rest of the night and moved on is actually what he he should have done.

If that was me, I would have walked over and asked would you mind if I joined you. A no, and I would have said ok nps have a good rest of the evening. A yes and we could have chatted.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *harisajidanWoman over a year ago

london

"Why do most clubs not let single men into clubs on a Saturday night?!

I’m in the midlands and hardly any clubs let them in….I don’t understand it! As a single female I go for men not couples most of the single ladies I’ve spoken to say the same thing"

Because too many single men act like fools

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *uietlyKinkyUsCouple over a year ago

midlands

It's been the same for many many years.

We used to road trip from the Midlands up to partners as they were, at that time, the only club with single men in on a Saturday night

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple over a year ago

Exeter

I'd probably say it due to d*unk guys and their behaviour.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ustustwo.1965Couple over a year ago

"Some guy said hello to Mrs at the bar.

All she said was hello back and was pleasant.

The guy came strutting over thinking he was in luck-after just a hello??

He didn't like taking no for an answer, but got the message when I stood up.

No need for it whatsoever. He should have accepted NO and fucked off.

A common occurrence when single guys are about.

If that was me, I would have walked over and asked would you mind if I joined you. A no, and I would have said ok nps have a good rest of the evening. A yes and we could have chatted.

No offence, but words are easy.

A lot of guys change when they see a lot of flesh.

They seem to think that because they can see it, they can have it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I like single men on Saturdays at clubs.

Perhaps there could be a sign or something, that people not wanting male attention could have, such as a wristband, if some people find too much contact.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oobyHotwifeWoman over a year ago

Thurrock

"Some guy said hello to Mrs at the bar.

All she said was hello back and was pleasant.

The guy came strutting over thinking he was in luck-after just a hello??

He didn't like taking no for an answer, but got the message when I stood up.

No need for it whatsoever. He should have accepted NO and fucked off.

A common occurrence when single guys are about.

I've had a man try and insert his toes inside me in a Hottub, I looked him in the eyes as I shook my head moving his foot away, as I didn't want to cause a scene but wanted him to get the message

He done it again so again I moved his foot and this time mouthed no, he smirked and done it for a third time to which I smacked his foot away and told his to fuck off & his reply was it's fine this is my wife & his wife's reply was yeah don't mind him he's only having fun with you

I've also had the male half of a couple grab my ankle as I tried to get out of a hot tub and when I turned round and asked him to let go of my ankle his wife replied he was just trying to get your attention.. how about hello

So it's not just single men in clubs that can be the issue, married men don't know how to take no for an answer either & some wives turn a blind eye / encourage it

I've also had my Boob bitten so hard by a guy it drew blood, admittedly I was playing with the couple but he hadn't asked if he could bite me

There's good and bad in all sexes my worst experience though have always been with the male halfs of couples

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Iam single male and happy to join you single ladies and couples through the door and anything else please text back

Mark

And being honest x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nigmatic_AngelWoman over a year ago

The place where fairies live

"Some guy said hello to Mrs at the bar.

All she said was hello back and was pleasant.

The guy came strutting over thinking he was in luck-after just a hello??

He didn't like taking no for an answer, but got the message when I stood up.

No need for it whatsoever. He should have accepted NO and fucked off.

A common occurrence when single guys are about.

I've had a man try and insert his toes inside me in a Hottub, I looked him in the eyes as I shook my head moving his foot away, as I didn't want to cause a scene but wanted him to get the message

So it's not just single men in clubs that can be the issue, married men don't know how to take no for an answer either & some wives turn a blind eye / encourage it

I've also had my Boob bitten so hard by a guy it drew blood, admittedly I was playing with the couple but he hadn't asked if he could bite me

There's good and bad in all sexes my worst experience though have always been with the male halfs of couples "

WOW

Oh my goodness.that's all awful!!!! . If anyone tried to do that with his toe after I had said no I'd break it off and insert it back inside him.

That's actually abuse on his part!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *redy81Man over a year ago

London

"Iam single male and happy to join you single ladies and couples through the door and anything else please text back

Mark

And being honest x"

No offence, dude, but I'll be quite surprised if this tactic works out well for you here.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *redy81Man over a year ago

London

Yes, a specific wristband for those who are not interested at all in single men can be a good idea. Compared with limiting the number of us (single men) to a very low level, not more than 10% of the total attendance.

And I still understand those couples who prefer strictly couples only nights, so the market surely needs to cater to them. IMO the problem is that these days in the bigger clubs, the parties are almost "free for all/unlimited", or couples only.

I've been in LB last Friday, and though it's "limited" but there were about as many single men as couples, and that is clearly too much and leads to annoying situations...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oobyHotwifeWoman over a year ago

Thurrock

"Some guy said hello to Mrs at the bar.

All she said was hello back and was pleasant.

The guy came strutting over thinking he was in luck-after just a hello??

He didn't like taking no for an answer, but got the message when I stood up.

No need for it whatsoever. He should have accepted NO and fucked off.

A common occurrence when single guys are about.

I've had a man try and insert his toes inside me in a Hottub, I looked him in the eyes as I shook my head moving his foot away, as I didn't want to cause a scene but wanted him to get the message

So it's not just single men in clubs that can be the issue, married men don't know how to take no for an answer either & some wives turn a blind eye / encourage it

I've also had my Boob bitten so hard by a guy it drew blood, admittedly I was playing with the couple but he hadn't asked if he could bite me

There's good and bad in all sexes my worst experience though have always been with the male halfs of couples

WOW

Oh my goodness.that's all awful!!!! . If anyone tried to do that with his toe after I had said no I'd break it off and insert it back inside him.

That's actually abuse on his part! "

My reply to his wife was 'that's not fun it's assault' they then accused me of being over sensative & frigid ...

I also find the older the people the worse the behaviour (I say this as an almost 50yr old, this incident was a few years ago & I'd guess this couple were around 10yrs older than me) tried to reason that they had been swingers got years as if that gave them a right to just touch who they wanted

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some people ruin it for others regardless or being a single male, couple or single lady. I don't like the parade of the wanking dead following women and couples around. Talking works wonders if only they knew. I'm a sociable person and will happily chat to anyone it doesn't mean I want to fuck who I'm talking to. Quite happy to chat and have no expectations at all.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ustustwo.1965Couple over a year ago

"Some people ruin it for others regardless or being a single male, couple or single lady. I don't like the parade of the wanking dead following women and couples around. Talking works wonders if only they knew. I'm a sociable person and will happily chat to anyone it doesn't mean I want to fuck who I'm talking to. Quite happy to chat and have no expectations at all. "

You may well be one of the minority however we still would not want single guys in on a couples only night.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I get both points of view….

It’s a difficult issue… here is my view on it…

Yes I get that some couples will only want to meet couples, and if there are specific couples only areas in clubs to play (and I say play rather than socialise for a reason I will go into in a bit) then I don’t see an issue

In social areas I don’t believe in that sort of segregation… if I am at the bar getting a drink and someone is next to me I will say hello regardless of who you are! Be that man or woman! A hello is just a hello… if you interpret that in any other way, that on you!

But yes I absolutely get and see that sometimes single guys are there own worst enemies in the way they sometimes act and behave….

As long as a club were to say to singles ( and I am talking about both single guys and gals, where I am a believer that if you are going to ban one then you should also ban the other!) that the night is primarily based at and towards couples so as a single if you were to attend then you will have to adjust your attitude according then leave it up to them to make that decision….

The one thing that makes me laugh/ cry in frustration are the single guys in clubs who complain of no action, or the fun going on in the couples room when they know it’s primarily designed as a couples night in the first place and you made zero attempt to actually talk to people!!!!

I have always been a social whore/gobshite in a club… find a good smoking area or bar and I’ll chat the night away with all and sundry! I believe that sometimes you may go to a club where the intentions are there to play with couples, but there may be singles who stand out so why limit that?

I don’t have any issues with the know and trust verification from a club as they know what people will fit in on a particular night or in a particular crowd… it’s all about making a night better and if allowing some singles in on a primarily couples night, good for them for seeing the bigger picture

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *redy81Man over a year ago

London

Talking without sex in your mind is an interesting question that often comes up here. I don't mind being honest, so here I am: if I go to a swinger club, I will only have a longer chat with those I find attractive and would like to go further. It doesn't mean, that I would not be happy to have a couple of friendly words at the bar with anyone, but I think if I'm not interested I'd just waste their time keeping chat to them. And the same for me, if the girl/couple I talk to don't find me attractive, then it's better if they let me know it in a polite way, so everyone can go and look for fun in their own way.

The wanking deads are another story, that is the most terrible, miserable, and pathetic thing that a man can do in a club, IMO. Sometimes I also walk around quite a lot, especially in huge venues like Kestrels or LB. If I'm not in a chat with someone, I won't sit on my own at the bar, but like to know what is happening, but one thing is looking around like you do it in a normal bar too, or another is staring at couples and wanking as some bloody satyr in a park. Even though we are in a swinger club, basic human rules and common sense should be followed.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You may well be one of the minority however we still would not want single guys in on a couples only night.

I wouldn't go to couples only as I'm single.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

You may well be one of the minority however we still would not want single guys in on a couples only night.

There shouldn’t be any guys or single ladies on a couples only night full stop and I agree with you there. If there is I would be reporting to management.

This guy that approached You, was this on a couples only night or a mixed night. If you don’t like single guys don’t go to a mixed night simple as there will be singles.

I don’t get when couples winge and moan about single guys when there are enough clubs and nights that are couples only.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ustustwo.1965Couple over a year ago

You may well be one of the minority however we still would not want single guys in on a couples only night.

There shouldn’t be any guys or single ladies on a couples only night full stop and I agree with you there. If there is I would be reporting to management.

This guy that approached You, was this on a couples only night or a mixed night. If you don’t like single guys don’t go to a mixed night simple as there will be singles.

I don’t get when couples winge and moan about single guys when there are enough clubs and nights that are couples only.

Whinging not us?

Just stating that most single guys are wankers who cannot take no for an answer.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Brighton Gardens spa has Couples Only weekends. Yet Bournemouth's Temptations spa allows everyone on weekends. Trouble is that some establishments that service as Spas actually attract a lot of single men who only want to use the Spa itself and are not interested in any sexual activity upstairs and they probably dislike the idea that some Spas do not allow single men on weekends. Perhaps it would be better to close the play area off before 6pm on Couples Only nights and that way the single guys can enjoy the Spa at weekends. I met a guy a few weeks ago who went to Temptations Spa for relaxation only, and he was actually offended when one of the women in the hot tub offered to suck his cock and complained about her. Takes all sorts I guess to make a world.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nigmatic_AngelWoman over a year ago

The place where fairies live

"Some guy said hello to Mrs at the bar.

All she said was hello back and was pleasant.

The guy came strutting over thinking he was in luck-after just a hello??

He didn't like taking no for an answer, but got the message when I stood up.

No need for it whatsoever. He should have accepted NO and fucked off.

A common occurrence when single guys are about.

I've had a man try and insert his toes inside me in a Hottub, I looked him in the eyes as I shook my head moving his foot away, as I didn't want to cause a scene but wanted him to get the message

So it's not just single men in clubs that can be the issue, married men don't know how to take no for an answer either & some wives turn a blind eye / encourage it

I've also had my Boob bitten so hard by a guy it drew blood, admittedly I was playing with the couple but he hadn't asked if he could bite me

There's good and bad in all sexes my worst experience though have always been with the male halfs of couples

WOW

Oh my goodness.that's all awful!!!! . If anyone tried to do that with his toe after I had said no I'd break it off and insert it back inside him.

That's actually abuse on his part!

My reply to his wife was 'that's not fun it's assault' they then accused me of being over sensative & frigid ...

I am SO sorry you went through that :/

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *r easy1981Man over a year ago

leeds

Single here we should be aloud in all the time lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *areToShareCouple over a year ago

Bingham

"Single here we should be aloud in all the time lol"

Allowed*

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *itzi999Woman over a year ago

Slough

"Why do most clubs not let single men into clubs on a Saturday night?!

I’m in the midlands and hardly any clubs let them in….I don’t understand it! As a single female I go for men not couples most of the single ladies I’ve spoken to say the same thing"

Agreed!! I’m a single female too and HATE the fact that single men are not allowed in - and I go to the London clubs.I’m not interested in couples at all….

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Try gems,there's always a good mix of couples and single guys,I'm a regular,

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Never been to any club, where I've been followed around by guys....

Or maybe I never noticed because it wasn't an issue ....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"Why do most clubs not let single men into clubs on a Saturday night?!

I’m in the midlands and hardly any clubs let them in….I don’t understand it! As a single female I go for men not couples most of the single ladies I’ve spoken to say the same thing"

Choose a night when single guys ARE "allowed" in

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ustustwo.1965Couple over a year ago

"Single here we should be aloud in all the time lol"

Couple here, as you know we don't agree.

Thankfully for us, you aren't.

But each to their own.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ipupfruityWoman over a year ago

Northampton

Does annoy me, as I carnt do Fridays due to work, I only have a few Saturdays free, and is alot of couples and women only. So I can only go to the attic x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *g1979Man over a year ago

bexley

As part of a couple we avoid all nights that allow single guys in.

As an example silverleigh, if you go As a couple you just have single guys following you everywhere. As soon as you go in the sauna you will have 10 guys following you in. If you get up and leave to go to the steam room the 10 guys will get up and follow you to the steam room.

If you go to a play room and close the door you will have idiots banging on the door even when it's locked asking to be let in.

At eureka you would have groups of "chav" single guys standing by the dj booth trying to make a grab at any woman who walked past them to the point I used to have to walk my partner to the toilet.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *dysseusukMan over a year ago

Chelmsford

Nothing wrong with couples nights. I think the problem is just that at least in London and the south east, all the clubs, apart from Silverleigh which is more naturist than swinger, have their couples nights on a Saturday meaning it’s Friday or nothing for single men and couples or single women seeking single men. If the clubs coordinated or mixed their nights around a little they may all maximise more attendance as single guys are also a big pot of cash, whilst still accommodating couples who want couples only nights.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *nasuitMan over a year ago

Ruislip

"Nothing wrong with couples nights. I think the problem is just that at least in London and the south east, all the clubs, apart from Silverleigh which is more naturist than swinger, have their couples nights on a Saturday meaning it’s Friday or nothing for single men and couples or single women seeking single men. If the clubs coordinated or mixed their nights around a little they may all maximise more attendance as single guys are also a big pot of cash, whilst still accommodating couples who want couples only nights. "

Hellfire and Penthouse Playrooms both have Saturday events that allow single gents in. Not every Saturday though so check their sites for details.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ud and BryanCouple over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

One of the reasons were love The Attic, is that they do allow a strictly limited number of suitably dressed single men on Saturday nights - BUT if they follow ladies or couples, they are immediately ejected.

The first time we went to a club, we were followed everywhere & it port is of clubs for ages, but then e discovered The Attic. It's a very different dynamic, largely thanks to the staff - they're everywhere!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Most clubs do couples night once a month, usually the first Saturday. If the balance/ratio is correct then it’s not a problem. Never had any issues with single guys, in fact we think they increase the sexual tension/atmosphere.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *lik and PaulCouple over a year ago

cahoots

Anecdotal evidence only but the busiest nights we go to are always couples nights which would suggest these are the main money spinners.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In Spain clubs allow single guys every night they are open but they can only be in their designated areas unless a girl or a couple invites them to the rest of the club. It seems to work for them better than having different nights.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

It’s because clubs are set up for couples and their regular preferences, which is often couples and single women.

Single guys get left out as there is still a lot of people that simply don’t want them around.

Swinging is still very much set up to cater to the male sexual gaze, which means limiting single guys and promoting unicorn hunting. Even though lots of women want the single guys around.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I enjoy nights with couples/ladies as well as guys. Townhouse run a couples night on a Saturday once a month, a Saturday with a limit of 8 guys and a Saturday which is very mixed but still not a sausage fest. It works for me as there's something for every fantasy.

I like the set up at Xtasia too as they also cater for a broad range of interests

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *i winkersCouple over a year ago

Manchester

So we host at club play and personally we allow single guys but we do message every single one of them with our expectations for their behaviour on the night.

Just basic things such as no means no and if we have any reports of you being out of order you will not be welcome to anyone of our nights again. This normally s out the ones you wouldn’t want at a club night we found.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"So we host at club play and personally we allow single guys but we do message every single one of them with our expectations for their behaviour on the night.

I remember being ‘welcomed’ by one club in the NW (not Club Play, I haven’t been there) with “Have you been here before?” “Yes, I have” “Well just remember there’s always someone watching, so behave yourself”

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ndy69redMan over a year ago

singles cant mingle! apparently

How are single males vetted???

Various different ways"

Bend over lads nurse Ratchet is here for the inspection

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ewcouplemidsCouple over a year ago

walsall

"Does annoy me, as I carnt do Fridays due to work, I only have a few Saturdays free, and is alot of couples and women only. So I can only go to the attic x"

Xtasia allows single guys Into flirts on a Saturday whilst the main club remains couples and single fems

Flirts has a large adult cinema and its own play areas

Couples and single fems can move between both venues at no extra cost

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rcool67Man over a year ago

London

"Why do most clubs not let single men into clubs on a Saturday night?!

I’m in the midlands and hardly any clubs let them in….I don’t understand it! As a single female I go for men not couples most of the single ladies I’ve spoken to say the same thing

Because too many single men act like fools"

Then they can get thrown out

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *etsplay68Man over a year ago

beaconsfield

"Does annoy me, as I carnt do Fridays due to work, I only have a few Saturdays free, and is alot of couples and women only. So I can only go to the attic x"

Jaydees let a number of guys in on Saturdays and its not a million miles from you and it's a lovely club

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ancelot1633Man over a year ago

grantham

How are single males vetted???

Various different ways

Bend over lads nurse Ratchet is here for the inspection

Have a thing for both Nurse Ratchets

And as a highly non pushy guy I do like someone in charge

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ancelot1633Man over a year ago

grantham

Respectful non pushy guys, friendly couples and females and no expectations on either part is always a lovely time. I suspect this depends to a large extent on the environment a club targets and a lot of hard work on their part to help it happen. I suspect most single guys don’t enjoy the presence of their pushy, entitled brethren either

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic