FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Single men and swinger clubs
Single men and swinger clubs
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"The most successful single guys at clubs are not the "hunks", but are generally the ones who attend regularly and focus on friendship first and anything else may follow." That's been my experience. I'm more 'chunk' than hunk, but I (used to) go regularly. I've made some good friends there. The rest sometimes follows, sometimes doesn't, but either way I've got some new people in my life. Most (all?) clubs will have nights for couples only. But they'll have nights that are open for single men too. And yes, plenty of people who are there to meet single men. "The regular moaners will be along shortly to tell you that "its not worth it" and that you'll get treated like a piece of gum stuck on someone's shoe however... " I'm not one of them. I go on my own most of the time (the exceptions are when I'm giving a lift to a club friend and we arrive together). It forces me to be sociable: I've got a choice between breaking out of my very shy shell and actually talking to people, or sitting in the corner on my own all night. It's fairly obvious what the right choice is. Go there with the expectation of a good social night out. As people get to know you and see you as one of the good guys, more might follow. | |||
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"Have any men on here ever been to a club alone is it allowed and what was it like being at a club as a single man" . Single guy here I tend to go to my local club ( OP4F ) by myself.The first time I was a little nervous but that’s normal when doing or going somewhere for the first time.My attitude is treat it as a night out at a pub or club and go with the attitude no expectations no disappointments and if anything of a adult nature takes place treat it as a bonus.Smile be polite and talk to people don’t pushy people that go to adult clubs are no different to people that go to normal clubs politeness and manners go a long way. | |||
"Dress nice and smell good, and go along to socialise and make friends (not expecting to be centre stage in an orgy), and you might enjoy your evening. The most successful single guys at clubs are not the "hunks", but are generally the ones who attend regularly and focus on friendship first and anything else may follow. There are plenty of single women and couples who enjoy chatting to single guys at clubs. There's usually a pretty good mix of people. It's about how you approach the event that makes the difference - racing around trying to see some "action" or talking about sex within 10 seconds of chatting to someone is likely to lead to your evening not being a great experience. The regular moaners will be along shortly to tell you that "its not worth it" and that you'll get treated like a piece of gum stuck on someone's shoe however... " Absolutely spot on correct  | |||
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"As almost everyone else has said here…. Just go with an open mind and no expectations….. Just go there and talk to people…. If you can manage being social you’ll be fine… Basically…. Don’t be an arse!!!! " | |||
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"You do have to put yourself out there a little, don't force it though. If you can strike up a conversation or two naturally then that's a great place to start. Re the wanking zombies - I've found there's no harm in having the odd stroll around to see what's going on. And enjoying the view. But keeping it in your pants (or knickers!) shows you're not there to scratch a quick itch, which usually goes a long way with your new friends "Totally agree you would have to be right wierdo to be walking around having a wank ?? luckily I'm not a wierdo so I won't be doing that when I try a club lol | |||
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"As others said above, don`t panic, be friendly, polite and social and you`ll be alright. My additional advice: - choose a night where the number of single guys is limited. It will cost a bit more at the door, but the difference is huge! - if you see a single lady/couple on her/their own in the social area, don`t be shy to say hello, and ask if you can join their table. I received a few polite "thanks we are not into single guys"/"thanks, now we`d prefer privacy", but never ever experienced any rude answer, and most importantly: 80% of the time they were happy to start a chat, which can lead to anywhere. Actually, I find it easier to start a chat in a swinger club as a solo guy than in a regular nightclub! Not to mention, that here you are allowed to (politely) flirt with a female from a couple, which would not be the best idea at All Bar One, haha. :D - If you see a couple playing in a common area, that still doesn`t mean you are welcome to interrupt with a quick question, "can I join/touch?". Watch them from a comfortable distance, maybe try to catch eye contact with the girl, if she wants you, she will let you know. These two are my personal opinion maybe not everyone will agree, but I think - DO NOT WANK in a common area without being asked by a girl to do that. - NEVER VISIT A CLUB WITH YOUR FELLOW MALE FRIENDS, or walking around your newly found male mates all night, as that will reduce your chances a lot. In short, clubs are a lot of fun, you`ll have good time, don`t worry!" As a guy who started on the club scene as a single guy and now as part of a couple now interacting with single guys I would totally agree with this. Although maybe try a night/club first where you don't need any expensive membership up front in case it's turns out not to be for you. | |||
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"Dont know where those question marks came from lol "You can’t use your phone emojis on here. Comes up as question marks.  | |||
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"i started going to clubs on my own back in 2018 till 2020 before COVID and still didn’t play so that’s why I’m not going to go back " Mate, please do not take it as an offence as I don`t mean that, but after what you wrote, I had to look at your profile. My suggestion is that after covid take another try, but definitely do not talk about things like you do in your bio, like you own oil rigs, or want to be a sugar daddy. These things really won't help you in a club. Just my humble opinion. | |||
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"I didn’t even mention that when I was at clubs haha. There just boring plus all the people who go there only talk to the gang that have been there for years " That`s cool then, sorry. Have you been in any London clubs? If you have a chance, try LeBoudoir on a Friday evening, it worths every penny. I have nothing interest to promote them haha :D. Just this is the my experience. There are plenty of complete or relatively newbie couples every week, its not clicky at all.
I`ve been to places earlier, that I found a bit clicky too, like I had this feeling in Eurekas, that everyone know each other for ages, and its hard to get in a chat as an outsider. But it was years ago and they also have new management now, so things may change, and I will also give it a try, as the place is great. :D
But LeBoud is cool for sure. | |||
"I went to a club in male mode on my own within 1st 2 weeks of joining fab over a 100 people there and i didn't no a single person and i had a fantastic night. Don't sit in the corner feeling sorry for yourself join in conversations but be polite and not too pushy. I got invited into a room by a couple i had been chatting to. It went really quiet bout 11 and i wondered where everybody was till i went into another room and i was shocked lol about 65-70 were all having sex in 1 form or another a big eye opener ??" I'm genuinely envious of anyone having such a positive, first time club experience. | |||
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