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Club mentor - Birmingham
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Hi all,
This may sound like a strange request but bare with me. I am hoping to start visiting clubs once the current covid regulations have subsided and what not as it is something that has been recommended to me previously and of interest to myself.
However my confidence has took some what of a knock during lockdown and it would be something I’d be somewhat too apprehensive to do by myself or with a personal friend that isn’t on the scene.
So my question is, are there any single women or couples in the Birmingham area who would be willing to recommend some clubs in the West Midlands and take a young single man under their wing until I find my groove?
Any advice would be appreciated.
Kind regards,
AM |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree your profile makes you sound immature and is off putting.
I would also not mention being ginger,as that ( as you almost certainly already know) can be a deal breaker before someone even gets to know you.
We are a long, long way from clubs reopening in any way other than as social clubs, so use that time wisely to chat to others both on the forum and via pm, and try to build a friendship with like-minded others who may fancy a club visit with you in the future.
Good luck. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"If it’s just for the reasons of a club “Mentor”, wouldn’t a guy be ok? "
A) this........
B) there is zero difference between going to a club on your own meeting people you don’t know.... and going to a club with someone you don’t know know meeting people you don’t know....
Personally, I would not go with someone I did not know to a club because it’s my reputation on the line if that person is a tit..... no offence
All a mentor should tell you is go with an open mind and no expectations...... everything else is on you
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"I hope you find what you are looking for OP, however your profile would put me off, sorry and good luck.  "
Hiya, you are correct my profile does need work and is in severe need of updating, I did set up a while ago when introduced to the site and suffice to say I didn’t put the necessary effort in. It doesn’t best reflect myself.
Kind regards,
AM |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I hope you find what you are looking for OP, however your profile would put me off, sorry and good luck.
Hiya, you are correct my profile does need work and is in severe need of updating, I did set up a while ago when introduced to the site and suffice to say I didn’t put the necessary effort in. It doesn’t best reflect myself.
Kind regards,
AM"
There's advice on my profile for newbies and people who aren't getting meets should you wish to use it. X |
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"I agree your profile makes you sound immature and is off putting.
I would also not mention being ginger,as that ( as you almost certainly already know) can be a deal breaker before someone even gets to know you.
We are a long, long way from clubs reopening in any way other than as social clubs, so use that time wisely to chat to others both on the forum and via pm, and try to build a friendship with like-minded others who may fancy a club visit with you in the future.
Good luck."
Hiya,
Thanks for your response, my profile is in need of work I believe this is one of the first few times I’ve used to is site since setting it up.
As for the ginger disclosure, I have found for some it is an instant turn off but for an equal (or if not greater) amount quiet an unspoken fetish, mainly after Ed Sheeran releases music or Prince Harry does something in the limelight.
Yes I agree we’re probably a long way away from clubs reopening in a full capacity and even further from people feeling comfortable to use again outside the social aspect. I think I may of used too official language with mentor as I am more so trying to create friendships with more experienced members of this community ahead of meeting in the future.
Kind regards,
AM |
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"If it’s just for the reasons of a club “Mentor”, wouldn’t a guy be ok? "
Hiya,
Yes it should be, but for myself personally I’ve only really used this site to set up after being introduced by a former fwb and I haven’t really had much exposure to the swinging scene. So personally for myself I believe I would feel more comfortable being introduced to the scene in person with either a single woman or couple as I at the moment I don’t believe I would feel relaxed with just another male.
However, I am looking to make friendships first via social meets, messaging and what not so I wouldn’t right it off entirely. I believe I may of picked to strong a word with mentor.
Kind regards,
AM |
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"There's advice on my profile for newbies and people who aren't getting meets should you wish to use it. X"
Thank you, I will take your advice and the earlier advice issued by yourself, I am definitely in over my head here and would 100% class as myself as a newbie.
I’m glad I found your advice at the start of my journey. Hopefully it’ll put me in good stead to meet other like minded people in the future.
Kind regards,
AM |
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I understand where you're coming from, but I think it would rare for anyone to accompany a guy to a club. Your best bet is to ask for a tour when you go, as you'll get a brief overview of things, and possibly see who else is going (when the meeting section is open) and say hello to them. It's very much a solo gig though, so down to you to meet and greet people |
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"If it’s just for the reasons of a club “Mentor”, wouldn’t a guy be ok?
A) this........
B) there is zero difference between going to a club on your own meeting people you don’t know.... and going to a club with someone you don’t know know meeting people you don’t know....
Personally, I would not go with someone I did not know to a club because it’s my reputation on the line if that person is a tit..... no offence
All a mentor should tell you is go with an open mind and no expectations...... everything else is on you
"
Hi Fabio,
Thank you for your guidance, I think I picked too strong a word with mentor, as ideally I am just looking to make some new friends on the scene, who can introduce me to it better than I could by myself.
I was ideally aiming to start a dialogue on here and maybe have a few socials with aforementioned “mentor(s)” beforehand to make sure we clicked as people before anything club related.
Yes, I whole heartedly agree with this comment as that would be my concern with going with someone who likewise may not be the most revered character.
Ideally it is what I’m looking for just someone to say “just go for it” in person, but it’s just me trying to preemptively make some connections beforehand so I don’t get overwhelmed.
There maybe an element of overthinking on my behalf, as I am usually a very social, easy to get along person, however likewise how I wouldn’t necessarily go to a new bar or club by myself, I wouldn’t feel 100% comfortable going to a swingers club by myself for the first time without knowing 1 or 2 people inside.
Kind regards,
AM |
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"I understand where you're coming from, but I think it would rare for anyone to accompany a guy to a club. Your best bet is to ask for a tour when you go, as you'll get a brief overview of things, and possibly see who else is going (when the meeting section is open) and say hello to them. It's very much a solo gig though, so down to you to meet and greet people"
Hiya,
Thanks for the guidance, I’m not overly worried about inside, I think I’m more so looking for a little push over the hill if that makes sense?
Kind regards,
AM |
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"I understand where you're coming from, but I think it would rare for anyone to accompany a guy to a club. Your best bet is to ask for a tour when you go, as you'll get a brief overview of things, and possibly see who else is going (when the meeting section is open) and say hello to them. It's very much a solo gig though, so down to you to meet and greet people
Hiya,
Thanks for the guidance, I’m not overly worried about inside, I think I’m more so looking for a little push over the hill if that makes sense?
Kind regards,
AM"
Maybe try and meet some folks at socials first (back in the ancient pre Covid times) |
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You could start off going to socials in your area - get to know swingers one a social setting first.
Going to a club with someone you’re not ‘with’ can be awkward. Are you obliged to play with them, can you leave them on their own in the bar & go off to play? Are you sure they will behave properly & not like a tit, which will reflect on you.
You’d be much better off reading the websites of the clubs you’re considering, choosing an event that is your kind of thing (don’t go to a rock night if you hate rock music, or a fetish night if you just want to swing), making sure you read the information for single guys on the website about dress code, etiquette etc & just go,
Most clubs have club buddies who will introduce you to other people, show you round & explain how it works on your first visit. They also have newbies events so there will be other newbies & a more social setting for that evening.
It’ll be a long while before clubs are open again, so use the time to do some research |
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As mentioned the best type of mentor would be someone who has experienced what you are experiencing and ergo should be a male.
You're not man enough to walk in the door but think you're man enough to play with another couple or in a group situation?
FfS grow a pair. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you need someone to hold your hand when you go to the shops or a pub....Or someone to wipe your arse after you use the loo?
If no to all the above then go alone and you will be fine. |
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"Do you need someone to hold your hand when you go to the shops or a pub....Or someone to wipe your arse after you use the loo?
If no to all the above then go alone and you will be fine. "
Just choose the club and event carefully |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you need someone to hold your hand when you go to the shops or a pub....Or someone to wipe your arse after you use the loo?
If no to all the above then go alone and you will be fine.
Just choose the club and event carefully "
And go with no expectations then you can’t be disappointed |
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