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Pinching a lady's bottom in a club.....
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"Hot or not??? " The secret of your success  | |||
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"You’d get a punch in the face from my other half and you would deserve it " Same here! | |||
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"to reverse the question female manhandling a male in club without prior consent just a "giggle" or deserving off warning/ban ? " Warning/ban. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. | |||
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"Hot or not??? " No different to doing it in the street. Not ok | |||
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"Are we back in the 1970s , it’s a massive no ,why would you want to sexually touch a stranger,wrong " Some guys do think that women in clubs are fair game. Nope. It's as acceptable as it is in the street, and the vast majority of clubs will back up said woman to the hilt. Look, don't touch without asking. | |||
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"to reverse the question female manhandling a male in club without prior consent just a "giggle" or deserving off warning/ban ? " Inappropriate touching has no gender. It is what it is. Unfortunately, we find women can be pushy or overly tactile with other women, as if it's ok. On the whole, we find guys to be very respectful, no real issues at all. It's women who have had a few wines that we've had more problems with!!!   | |||
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"Hot or not??? " If someone pinched my wife's backside in a club, or anywhere else for that matter, they would be eating out of a straw for quite a while. Let's face it, how on earth can we think an act of assault is 'hot or not??' | |||
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"You’d get a punch in the face from my other half and you would deserve it " I wouldnt wait for my other half Ive been 'busy' in clubs and had guys touch ( not to mention other bizarre behaviour) without asking They get kicked away. My feet are the only bits available, see? | |||
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"Touching without asking has only happened twice to us in a club Both times it was a woman doing the touching!" Very good point, there's some very sexually aggressive bi ladies who assume that they don't need permission to touch another woman like they are exempt. In either scenario it's wrong. | |||
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Friendly Swingers. | |||
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"to reverse the question female manhandling a male in club without prior consent just a "giggle" or deserving off warning/ban ? Inappropriate touching has no gender. It is what it is. Unfortunately, we find women can be pushy or overly tactile with other women, as if it's ok. On the whole, we find guys to be very respectful, no real issues at all. It's women who have had a few wines that we've had more problems with!!! "This
Touching without consent is genderless and will get you a ban from us xx | |||
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"I went solo to club once and I had a random guy think it was OK to grab my boob when I was chilling in jacuzzi once. He was told to back off and that it was not appropriate at all!! Just cos I'm naked in jacuzzi, doesn't mean want groping by a stranger "Why do people think this is OK? I had a guy try to finger me in the hot tub at a club... Ms x | |||
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"So touching isn't ok but violence is. Friendly Swingers. "Maybe it’s not ok, but touching without consent is a form of violence. I’d absolutely, without hesitation, punch someone who groped me. I’ve spent far too much of my life putting up with it so as not to make a scene, and I won’t do so any longer. | |||
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"So touching isn't ok but violence is. Friendly Swingers.
Maybe it’s not ok, but touching without consent is a form of violence. I’d absolutely, without hesitation, punch someone who groped me. I’ve spent far too much of my life putting up with it so as not to make a scene, and I won’t do so any longer."Same thing happened to me, I wonder how common that is | |||
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"Well... This went exactly as expected.. Its not the fucking 70's... "Funny enough, I read the OP and Benny Hill sprang to mind! | |||
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"We attended a bi night at one of our local clubs. K was standing at the bar waiting to be served when the female organiser of the night out of nowhere just went and bit her hard on her bottom. K was very embarrassed and highly upset. There was bruising for well over a week. Needless to say we’ll never go to another party of theirs again. And anyone else who tried to inappropriately touch either one of us would now soon be told! " Oh. My. Dear. GOD!!!! If she was one of our hosts, she would be sacked on the spot! | |||
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"We attended a bi night at one of our local clubs. K was standing at the bar waiting to be served when the female organiser of the night out of nowhere just went and bit her hard on her bottom. K was very embarrassed and highly upset. There was bruising for well over a week. Needless to say we’ll never go to another party of theirs again. And anyone else who tried to inappropriately touch either one of us would now soon be told! " | |||
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"So touching isn't ok but violence is. Friendly Swingers. "Touching is an assault just the same as pinching someone’s bum if it’s not welcome. The fact that the op has to Adi the question hot or not can only lead us to think he shouldn’t really be let loose around women | |||
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"Hot or not??? " NOT! Life ban without permission and it is sexual assault if no consent. | |||
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"Hot or not??? " its twats like you that give us blokes a bad name in clubs | |||
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"Hot or not??? " You missed of assault from your options | |||
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"So touching isn't ok but violence is. Friendly Swingers.
Touching is an assault just the same as pinching someone’s bum if it’s not welcome.
The fact that the op has to Adi the question hot or not can only lead us to think he shouldn’t really be let loose around women "I agree with both your points. | |||
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"Hot" is a slap in the face hot and being thrown out or banned hot too then? | |||
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"to reverse the question female manhandling a male in club without prior consent just a "giggle" or deserving off warning/ban ? " Both sexes should be treated equally. | |||
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"So touching isn't ok but violence is. Friendly Swingers. "As someone who has experienced sexual assault in a club (as have most of my female friends) I would call it self-deffence. The moment that one down-plays inappropriate touching, one makes sexual assault acceptable. OP..sexual assault is never, ever 'hot'. | |||
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"Hot or not??? " I'm not even sure why you're asking. Uninvited = sexual assault. You'd get two punches if you did it to me. One from M, one from me. So, that's a no from us. E | |||
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"Hot or not??? " Not, its an assault unless the person has agreed to it. | |||
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"So touching isn't ok but violence is. Friendly Swingers.
As someone who has experienced sexual assault in a club (as have most of my female friends) I would call it self-deffence.
The moment that one down-plays inappropriate touching, one makes sexual assault acceptable.
OP..sexual assault is never, ever 'hot'. "This! I’ve also been seriously sexually assaulted, more than once, in a club. Don’t touch people without their consent. Use your words and ask. Consent is hot! | |||
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"So touching isn't ok but violence is. Friendly Swingers.
As someone who has experienced sexual assault in a club (as have most of my female friends) I would call it self-deffence.
The moment that one down-plays inappropriate touching, one makes sexual assault acceptable.
OP..sexual assault is never, ever 'hot'. "Of course it isn't acceptable but neither is immediately punching someone in the face. Make an example of them. Shout, speak loudly enough that everyone around can hear. The person (it's not always men) will hopefully be shamed into either leaving or changing their ways. If they don't leave, enough people will know what they did that the person will surely not get any 'action' that night. And possibly get banned from the club. | |||
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"to reverse the question female manhandling a male in club without prior consent just a "giggle" or deserving off warning/ban ? " i believe this happening the other way round wouldnt get neither a ban or a warning let alone a smqck or a punch i call thisequality at its best. Even though i agree no one shpuld fondle or touch another person without some sort of flirting etc before hand | |||
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"to reverse the question female manhandling a male in club without prior consent just a "giggle" or deserving off warning/ban ? i believe this happening the other way round wouldnt get neither a ban or a warning let alone a smqck or a punch i call thisequality at its best. Even though i agree no one shpuld fondle or touch another person without some sort of flirting etc before hand" Or maybe woman can just control the urge.. I would never do this in life not just in a club | |||
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"An former colleague of mine met his future wife when he pinched her arse in a bar before he knew her. It worked out well for him under the circumstances. Though a risky and cheeky, literally, approach." thats the point dude loads of people use to pinch an ass to let them know ya fancied them, abit like wold whistling, a woman had a giy done in court for harrassment. | |||
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"When women are sexually assaulted, the most common responses are “freeze” and “appease” rather than “fight” or “flight”. Your body and mind freeze as you process what’s happening to you. You live every millisecond as if it’s a minute as you try to figure out what to do as it’s happening and how to stop it without being hurt or humiliated. In reality, saying “you should have kicked him in the balls” isn’t very helpful. Very few women respond that way when they’re assaulted. We tend to freeze and then try to diffuse the situation to get away safely. Afterwards people will criticise you for how you responded (“you should have done this”) and you’ll criticise yourself (“why didn’t I scream?”) but freeze/appease is what MOST women do during a sexual assault. For each woman on this thread who spoke out at the time (and well done for doing so), there are lots of us who froze (and well done to us too because we also got away from him successfully). X" Agreed. In other situations I've frozen, and it's instinct, not wrong. | |||
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"An former colleague of mine met his future wife when he pinched her arse in a bar before he knew her. It worked out well for him under the circumstances. Though a risky and cheeky, literally, approach. thats the point dude loads of people use to pinch an ass to let them know ya fancied them, abit like wold whistling, a woman had a giy done in court for harrassment. " You should never sexually assault someone as a way of expressing that you fancy them. You should say “you’re really hot, I’d love to kiss you” or “May I touch you?” or “I’ve had a lovely evening. Can I kiss you goodnight?” | |||
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"An former colleague of mine met his future wife when he pinched her arse in a bar before he knew her. It worked out well for him under the circumstances. Though a risky and cheeky, literally, approach. thats the point dude loads of people use to pinch an ass to let them know ya fancied them, abit like wold whistling, a woman had a giy done in court for harrassment. You should never sexually assault someone as a way of expressing that you fancy them. You should say “you’re really hot, I’d love to kiss you” or “May I touch you?” or “I’ve had a lovely evening. Can I kiss you goodnight?”" Using words. Imagine that. Consent. Huh. (Lord it's 2020 and we're still talking about this) | |||
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"So touching isn't ok but violence is. Friendly Swingers.
As someone who has experienced sexual assault in a club (as have most of my female friends) I would call it self-deffence.
The moment that one down-plays inappropriate touching, one makes sexual assault acceptable.
OP..sexual assault is never, ever 'hot'.
Of course it isn't acceptable but neither is immediately punching someone in the face.
Make an example of them. Shout, speak loudly enough that everyone around can hear.
The person (it's not always men) will hopefully be shamed into either leaving or changing their ways. If they don't leave, enough people will know what they did that the person will surely not get any 'action' that night. And possibly get banned from the club. "Unfortunately, the perpetrator (commonly men) who think it acceptable to sexually assault a woman are unlikely to feel the shame you speak of, and are likely to continue to prowl around said club, unless they are evicted. | |||
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"An former colleague of mine met his future wife when he pinched her arse in a bar before he knew her. It worked out well for him under the circumstances. Though a risky and cheeky, literally, approach. thats the point dude loads of people use to pinch an ass to let them know ya fancied them, abit like wold whistling, a woman had a giy done in court for harrassment. You should never sexually assault someone as a way of expressing that you fancy them. You should say “you’re really hot, I’d love to kiss you” or “May I touch you?” or “I’ve had a lovely evening. Can I kiss you goodnight?” Using words. Imagine that. Consent. Huh. (Lord it's 2020 and we're still talking about this)" Shocking, huh?...  | |||
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"So touching isn't ok but violence is. Friendly Swingers.
As someone who has experienced sexual assault in a club (as have most of my female friends) I would call it self-deffence.
The moment that one down-plays inappropriate touching, one makes sexual assault acceptable.
OP..sexual assault is never, ever 'hot'.
Of course it isn't acceptable but neither is immediately punching someone in the face.
Make an example of them. Shout, speak loudly enough that everyone around can hear.
The person (it's not always men) will hopefully be shamed into either leaving or changing their ways. If they don't leave, enough people will know what they did that the person will surely not get any 'action' that night. And possibly get banned from the club.
Unfortunately, the perpetrator (commonly men) who think it acceptable to sexually assault a woman are unlikely to feel the shame you speak of, and are likely to continue to prowl around said club, unless they are evicted.
"Yes, there's a certain subset who are quite vocal in their entitlement. | |||
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"So touching isn't ok but violence is. Friendly Swingers.
As someone who has experienced sexual assault in a club (as have most of my female friends) I would call it self-deffence.
The moment that one down-plays inappropriate touching, one makes sexual assault acceptable.
OP..sexual assault is never, ever 'hot'.
Of course it isn't acceptable but neither is immediately punching someone in the face.
Make an example of them. Shout, speak loudly enough that everyone around can hear.
The person (it's not always men) will hopefully be shamed into either leaving or changing their ways. If they don't leave, enough people will know what they did that the person will surely not get any 'action' that night. And possibly get banned from the club.
Unfortunately, the perpetrator (commonly men) who think it acceptable to sexually assault a woman are unlikely to feel the shame you speak of, and are likely to continue to prowl around said club, unless they are evicted.
"I think it's actually about even 50/50 men and women who do it. People just don't like to say anything if it's a woman doing it. Fair point about the types who don't feel shame. Even if evicted they would do it again. | |||
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"Not hot for us I’m afraid. Happened to Lou on the stairs at Chams once. Had two attempts, first he was verbally warned second time chest poked back a couple of steps by her. To be fair it was our mistake so every time after she went up first with me behind her. Still waiting for someone to grab my ass "Why was it your mistake?  | |||
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"This is not hot at all!! As a bit of a regular club goer...in the pre lockdown days...I feel like because you are at a club naked in a hot tub you are there to be touched, groped, whatever. That isnt how it should be. I'm actually getting fed up of that and being pulled around without consent. Last time I was in a hot tub I felt a hand on my leg by a complete stranger, I said no thanks politely but the hand went there again 1 minute later. I'd said no thanks!! It's your attitude OP that gives guys a bad name in clubs, and on fab, although I do agree both sexes can be at fault. Its disrespectful and out of order. " Women rule ...always  | |||
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"So touching isn't ok but violence is. Friendly Swingers. "It's cause and consequence. The touching/assault resulted in retaliation. Why should anyone be friendly to someone who has assaulted them or their partner. | |||
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"This is not hot at all!! As a bit of a regular club goer...in the pre lockdown days...I feel like because you are at a club naked in a hot tub you are there to be touched, groped, whatever. That isnt how it should be. I'm actually getting fed up of that and being pulled around without consent. Last time I was in a hot tub I felt a hand on my leg by a complete stranger, I said no thanks politely but the hand went there again 1 minute later. I'd said no thanks!! It's your attitude OP that gives guys a bad name in clubs, and on fab, although I do agree both sexes can be at fault. Its disrespectful and out of order. Women rule ...always "And some take the piss and they shouldn't | |||
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"This is not hot at all!! As a bit of a regular club goer...in the pre lockdown days...I feel like because you are at a club naked in a hot tub you are there to be touched, groped, whatever. That isnt how it should be. I'm actually getting fed up of that and being pulled around without consent. Last time I was in a hot tub I felt a hand on my leg by a complete stranger, I said no thanks politely but the hand went there again 1 minute later. I'd said no thanks!! It's your attitude OP that gives guys a bad name in clubs, and on fab, although I do agree both sexes can be at fault. Its disrespectful and out of order. " And single men wonder why they get a bad name! | |||
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Secondly, _ased on a lot of club visits, I would say women do it even more than men.
Thirdly, speaking for myself ONLY, I normally do like being randomly groped by women including complete strangers. | |||
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"Well OP wanted a response and got it.. Firstly, a confession - I (Chris) accidentally touched someone who I genuinely thought was Julia standing next to me, and it wasn’t. I was distracted by wine and chat and wasn’t focused. Lots of apologies accepted but I still cringe about it
Secondly, _ased on a lot of club visits, I would say women do it even more than men.
Thirdly, speaking for myself ONLY, I normally do like being randomly groped by women including complete strangers. "Imagine if you'd got punched for touching them.
Hence my opinion about violence. | |||
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"This does perhaps seem a little one sided!! I was in a club and had my bum felt you someone behind me. I knocked the hand away as I turned round .... and realised it was a woman, and politely shook my head! She gave me such a look of disgust and flounced off ... clearly I was the one in the wrong - so she thought! R xx" Yeah I hate the attitude that women are always right. 'It's ok for women to sexually assault people'. No. It isn't. Consent is required from both men and women (etc).  | |||
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"Hot or not??? " It's sexual assault. You should be ejected, barred, arrested, charged, imprisoned and put on a register for life. Unfortunately both our society and our justice system are completely broken. | |||
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"Hot or not??? It's sexual assault. You should be ejected, barred, arrested, charged, imprisoned and put on a register for life. Unfortunately both our society and our justice system are completely broken. " What about a burning at the stake? | |||
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"Most people know the rules in our place, so we don't get many issues and they certainly know not to touch me in anyway inappropriately. However, one evening, an over familiar female thought she could make a dick out of me being a pro Domme and gave me a proper hard crack on the ass as I went past the bar to deal with an issue at the front entrance. It stopped me in my tracks and I just stood with my back to her. People around just stopped talking and stared. She instantly realised that she'd fucked up and went crimson. I carried on to deal with the issue at the front entrance and then came back to find her. She was walking towards the exit with her coat and bag and said, 'I take it that was a step too far?' I replied that she was walking in the right direction and would book her out. That was obviously the last time she enjoyed our venue. Shame really as she was stunning and popular; this however, was her downfall. She thought that she was invisible as an attarctive single female and I wouldn't possibly bar her. Her over confidence and showboating got the better of her. " I (Chris) find that a bit sad tbh. You do get some, er, sexually aggressive women in clubs, some of them I think really are just trying to get a party going. What she did was wrong, but she knew it and was mortified by it. Doesn’t seem like she’d do it again. Think a bit of forgiveness might have been in order, but I wasn’t there. | |||
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"Most people know the rules in our place, so we don't get many issues and they certainly know not to touch me in anyway inappropriately. However, one evening, an over familiar female thought she could make a dick out of me being a pro Domme and gave me a proper hard crack on the ass as I went past the bar to deal with an issue at the front entrance. It stopped me in my tracks and I just stood with my back to her. People around just stopped talking and stared. She instantly realised that she'd fucked up and went crimson. I carried on to deal with the issue at the front entrance and then came back to find her. She was walking towards the exit with her coat and bag and said, 'I take it that was a step too far?' I replied that she was walking in the right direction and would book her out. That was obviously the last time she enjoyed our venue. Shame really as she was stunning and popular; this however, was her downfall. She thought that she was invisible as an attarctive single female and I wouldn't possibly bar her. Her over confidence and showboating got the better of her. I (Chris) find that a bit sad tbh. You do get some, er, sexually aggressive women in clubs, some of them I think really are just trying to get a party going. What she did was wrong, but she knew it and was mortified by it. Doesn’t seem like she’d do it again. Think a bit of forgiveness might have been in order, but I wasn’t there." But is that letting her off assaulting another person simply by virtue of her gender? By the same logic, any man with wandering hands should be equally forgiven | |||
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"Punching the person who did it in the face... Hot or not ?" hot | |||
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"Most people know the rules in our place, so we don't get many issues and they certainly know not to touch me in anyway inappropriately. However, one evening, an over familiar female thought she could make a dick out of me being a pro Domme and gave me a proper hard crack on the ass as I went past the bar to deal with an issue at the front entrance. It stopped me in my tracks and I just stood with my back to her. People around just stopped talking and stared. She instantly realised that she'd fucked up and went crimson. I carried on to deal with the issue at the front entrance and then came back to find her. She was walking towards the exit with her coat and bag and said, 'I take it that was a step too far?' I replied that she was walking in the right direction and would book her out. That was obviously the last time she enjoyed our venue. Shame really as she was stunning and popular; this however, was her downfall. She thought that she was invisible as an attarctive single female and I wouldn't possibly bar her. Her over confidence and showboating got the better of her. I (Chris) find that a bit sad tbh. You do get some, er, sexually aggressive women in clubs, some of them I think really are just trying to get a party going. What she did was wrong, but she knew it and was mortified by it. Doesn’t seem like she’d do it again. Think a bit of forgiveness might have been in order, but I wasn’t there. But is that letting her off assaulting another person simply by virtue of her gender? By the same logic, any man with wandering hands should be equally forgiven"
No double standards. | |||
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"Most people know the rules in our place, so we don't get many issues and they certainly know not to touch me in anyway inappropriately. However, one evening, an over familiar female thought she could make a dick out of me being a pro Domme and gave me a proper hard crack on the ass as I went past the bar to deal with an issue at the front entrance. It stopped me in my tracks and I just stood with my back to her. People around just stopped talking and stared. She instantly realised that she'd fucked up and went crimson. I carried on to deal with the issue at the front entrance and then came back to find her. She was walking towards the exit with her coat and bag and said, 'I take it that was a step too far?' I replied that she was walking in the right direction and would book her out. That was obviously the last time she enjoyed our venue. Shame really as she was stunning and popular; this however, was her downfall. She thought that she was invisible as an attarctive single female and I wouldn't possibly bar her. Her over confidence and showboating got the better of her. I (Chris) find that a bit sad tbh. You do get some, er, sexually aggressive women in clubs, some of them I think really are just trying to get a party going. What she did was wrong, but she knew it and was mortified by it. Doesn’t seem like she’d do it again. Think a bit of forgiveness might have been in order, but I wasn’t there. But is that letting her off assaulting another person simply by virtue of her gender? By the same logic, any man with wandering hands should be equally forgiven
No double standards. "Absolutely not! Man or woman, you Absolutely do not whack someone on the ass, especially when they are working and not even taking part in the party!!!! If someone smacked you on the ass in work, I'm sure you would be equally shocked xxx | |||
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"Lots of keyboard warriors on here I see " More than happy to accommodate anyone face to face although I can thing of so many better ways of spending my time
And isn’t your comment actually making you the type of person you appear to be decrying ? | |||
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"Hot or not??? " There are a few ladies who's bottoms I pinch in the club. But I know them and their partners! I would never even consider pinching a strangers bum, no matter how sexy it was. That's just asking for trouble! | |||
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"Most people know the rules in our place, so we don't get many issues and they certainly know not to touch me in anyway inappropriately. However, one evening, an over familiar female thought she could make a dick out of me being a pro Domme and gave me a proper hard crack on the ass as I went past the bar to deal with an issue at the front entrance. It stopped me in my tracks and I just stood with my back to her. People around just stopped talking and stared. She instantly realised that she'd fucked up and went crimson. I carried on to deal with the issue at the front entrance and then came back to find her. She was walking towards the exit with her coat and bag and said, 'I take it that was a step too far?' I replied that she was walking in the right direction and would book her out. That was obviously the last time she enjoyed our venue. Shame really as she was stunning and popular; this however, was her downfall. She thought that she was invisible as an attarctive single female and I wouldn't possibly bar her. Her over confidence and showboating got the better of her. I (Chris) find that a bit sad tbh. You do get some, er, sexually aggressive women in clubs, some of them I think really are just trying to get a party going. What she did was wrong, but she knew it and was mortified by it. Doesn’t seem like she’d do it again. Think a bit of forgiveness might have been in order, but I wasn’t there. But is that letting her off assaulting another person simply by virtue of her gender? By the same logic, any man with wandering hands should be equally forgiven
No double standards.
Absolutely not! Man or woman, you Absolutely do not whack someone on the ass, especially when they are working and not even taking part in the party!!!! If someone smacked you on the ass in work, I'm sure you would be equally shocked xxx"I’m just saying, due to power dynamics, motives, and physical strength, can’t see that it can be comparable to a 6ft bloke with a beard doing that to a 5ft lady. Again, I agree it was wrong. | |||
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"Most people know the rules in our place, so we don't get many issues and they certainly know not to touch me in anyway inappropriately. However, one evening, an over familiar female thought she could make a dick out of me being a pro Domme and gave me a proper hard crack on the ass as I went past the bar to deal with an issue at the front entrance. It stopped me in my tracks and I just stood with my back to her. People around just stopped talking and stared. She instantly realised that she'd fucked up and went crimson. I carried on to deal with the issue at the front entrance and then came back to find her. She was walking towards the exit with her coat and bag and said, 'I take it that was a step too far?' I replied that she was walking in the right direction and would book her out. That was obviously the last time she enjoyed our venue. Shame really as she was stunning and popular; this however, was her downfall. She thought that she was invisible as an attarctive single female and I wouldn't possibly bar her. Her over confidence and showboating got the better of her. I (Chris) find that a bit sad tbh. You do get some, er, sexually aggressive women in clubs, some of them I think really are just trying to get a party going. What she did was wrong, but she knew it and was mortified by it. Doesn’t seem like she’d do it again. Think a bit of forgiveness might have been in order, but I wasn’t there. But is that letting her off assaulting another person simply by virtue of her gender? By the same logic, any man with wandering hands should be equally forgiven
No double standards.
Absolutely not! Man or woman, you Absolutely do not whack someone on the ass, especially when they are working and not even taking part in the party!!!! If someone smacked you on the ass in work, I'm sure you would be equally shocked xxx
I’m just saying, due to power dynamics, motives, and physical strength, can’t see that it can be comparable to a 6ft bloke with a beard doing that to a 5ft lady.
Again, I agree it was wrong. "I totally disagree but hey that's what these forums are all about! Expressing opinions, listening to views and learning about how we all tick | |||
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"Lots of keyboard warriors on here I see " No keyboard warrior here. Would welcome this discussion face to face with anyone who wanted to put forward their points of view. It would make an interesting debate for sure! | |||
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"When women are sexually assaulted, the most common responses are “freeze” and “appease” rather than “fight” or “flight”. Your body and mind freeze as you process what’s happening to you. You live every millisecond as if it’s a minute as you try to figure out what to do as it’s happening and how to stop it without being hurt or humiliated. In reality, saying “you should have kicked him in the balls” isn’t very helpful. Very few women respond that way when they’re assaulted. We tend to freeze and then try to diffuse the situation to get away safely. Afterwards people will criticise you for how you responded (“you should have done this”) and you’ll criticise yourself (“why didn’t I scream?”) but freeze/appease is what MOST women do during a sexual assault. For each woman on this thread who spoke out at the time (and well done for doing so), there are lots of us who froze (and well done to us too because we also got away from him successfully). X" | |||
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"Lots of keyboard warriors on here I see No keyboard warrior here. Would welcome this discussion face to face with anyone who wanted to put forward their points of view. It would make an interesting debate for sure!" No keyboard warrior. Assault is wrong. Don't do it. Don't tolerate it. | |||
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"I cannot believe there are people excusing what is physical/sexual assault either because of gender or because of the context of a swinger's club. You only touch other people with consent, gender, physical size/power/height is totally irrelevant and the law backs that up. If any gender touched me or Mr KC without consent, they'd be getting short shrift and I cannot say I wouldn't lash out as a self defense mechanism. I feel more vulnerable as a person with limited mobility - I can't run away, so if I clobber the assailant, then that's me feeling like I need to defend myself with reasonable force." I was told when I first started going, that a touch on the arm or hand may be appropriate to get attention and as a way to solicit consent for further touching. That's as "touching without consent" as I go. | |||
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"I cannot believe there are people excusing what is physical/sexual assault either because of gender or because of the context of a swinger's club. You only touch other people with consent, gender, physical size/power/height is totally irrelevant and the law backs that up. If any gender touched me or Mr KC without consent, they'd be getting short shrift and I cannot say I wouldn't lash out as a self defense mechanism. I feel more vulnerable as a person with limited mobility - I can't run away, so if I clobber the assailant, then that's me feeling like I need to defend myself with reasonable force. I was told when I first started going, that a touch on the arm or hand may be appropriate to get attention and as a way to solicit consent for further touching. That's as "touching without consent" as I go." There's a whole lot of difference to a tap on the arm vs bottom pinching/slapping. If I'm using my wheelchair (which I have in a club), I'm too low down anyway. My face is at crotch height | |||
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"I cannot believe there are people excusing what is physical/sexual assault either because of gender or because of the context of a swinger's club. You only touch other people with consent, gender, physical size/power/height is totally irrelevant and the law backs that up. If any gender touched me or Mr KC without consent, they'd be getting short shrift and I cannot say I wouldn't lash out as a self defense mechanism. I feel more vulnerable as a person with limited mobility - I can't run away, so if I clobber the assailant, then that's me feeling like I need to defend myself with reasonable force. I was told when I first started going, that a touch on the arm or hand may be appropriate to get attention and as a way to solicit consent for further touching. That's as "touching without consent" as I go." I was told that too, although I've never done that using verbal communication instead. Just curious, is it still considered an appropriate way to gain consent to go further or is it considered out of date now? | |||
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"Lots of keyboard warriors on here I see " I’m curious as to why you think that. Do you think the people saying they’d punch someone who sexually assaulted them are only saying it because we’re safe behind our keyboards? I’m pretty sure that’s not the case! Or maybe you’re trying to defend sexual assault, but doing it in a sideways manner by attacking the people speaking out against it? | |||
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"Lots of keyboard warriors on here I see " Not here. The last bloke that put a hand on me without my consent was met with a smile then a quiet conversation in his ear that left him in no doubt that his behaviour was unwelcome and beyond inappropriate. | |||
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"Lots of keyboard warriors on here I see " Yes we see you!! Oh no we can’t as your hiding behind your hidden profile  | |||
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"I cannot believe there are people excusing what is physical/sexual assault either because of gender or because of the context of a swinger's club. You only touch other people with consent, gender, physical size/power/height is totally irrelevant and the law backs that up. If any gender touched me or Mr KC without consent, they'd be getting short shrift and I cannot say I wouldn't lash out as a self defense mechanism. I feel more vulnerable as a person with limited mobility - I can't run away, so if I clobber the assailant, then that's me feeling like I need to defend myself with reasonable force. I was told when I first started going, that a touch on the arm or hand may be appropriate to get attention and as a way to solicit consent for further touching. That's as "touching without consent" as I go. I was told that too, although I've never done that using verbal communication instead. Just curious, is it still considered an appropriate way to gain consent to go further or is it considered out of date now?" Good manners and common sense suggest that this is the right approach - unless some verbal or clear clue is given, don't assume consent to any touching ... best to be horny and polite versus arrogant and disappointed. A nice enquiry will often bring some positive response. x to all would be playmates. | |||
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"to reverse the question female manhandling a male in club without prior consent just a "giggle" or deserving off warning/ban ? Both sexes should be treated equally. " | |||
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"Hot or not??? " What's wrong with you?! | |||
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"Hot or not??? " Inappropriate and unwanted sexual attention. Expect a slap in the face and ejection from the club. Always ask before touching, unless invited. | |||
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"Hot or not??? " It's not the done thing chap and I don't think it's ever been hot. | |||
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